#i'm really good at taking screenshots when my sim has their eyes closed

[myheartsims]

So I found a cute Harry Potter cc hat which felt fitting for this challenge, which meant I had to change Melody’s outfit slightly (her bun hair is not hat compatible) but this is now 1 of her 2 cold weather outfits! I also gave her a new everyday outfit and gave her the braids a few more times, not just for her workoutfit and coldweather outfit. She has also new glasses, which are actually black. I still really, really love this Sim!

[jasminesilk]

Talking about my obaachan's elderly care below the cut. This is mainly to vent so please don't feel pressured to read it:

So I've been back in Japan since September to help my mom with my obaachan's elderly care again. I was home last year from November to March earlier this year to help as well. She's 88 years old and was a farmer most of her life so she needs around the clock help these days and it's hard for my mom to do all by herself. My aunt lives downstairs and her and my cousin watch her whenever my mom and I are unavailable which is super helpful as I'm disabled and have a chronic illness myself. My obaachan does go to an elderly care center for a daycare service a few times a week and every so often stays the night as well so my mom can actually get her own work done since our lives revolve around her care when she's home.

Up until about a month ago caring for her wasn't easy but it wasn't bad either. Unfortunately in the past month her dementia has gotten much worse... She now prefers to talk to the voices more than the real people around her and whenever we try to communicate with her she gets aggressive. Even now she is seated at the table with lunch but refuses to eat because she's busy counting with the voices. When I gently told her that her food will get cold she basically shushed and swatted me away like some bother.

I know that she is not well, that this is not really her anymore. That the dementia is progressing and she's fading right before my eyes. But god does it make me irate. Of course I never raise my voice or show any aggression towards her but caring for her is making my own mental health go down the shitter. My panic disorder is at a new high and I've been in and out of clinics and hospitals this week because of it. I know I shouldn't blame her, it's really not her fault. But I don't know where to place my anger and I'm at my breaking point. I am the eldest daughter of an eldest daughter in an Asian household so a lot of the responsibility is put on my shoulders.

In a way my recent return to simblr has been an escape for me. Whenever I have free time to myself I'll write my silly little stories and edit my silly little screenshots to post here and it brings me some peace. For as long as my body can put up with me seated in my desk chair I pour all of my attention into my sims, and it does help a little.

My obaachan and I were never particularly close, but I have always respected her as my elder. But it's hard to hold that respect in my heart when I spend most of my day planning out foods soft enough for her to eat that still taste good enough to swallow (gotta think about low sodium, balanced meals that are easy for her to digest). Only for her to ignore the food completely and talk to the voices instead. For me to take her to the bathroom and do everything for her (yes, including wiping...) while she sits there and talks to someone in her head. Washing her clothes, cleaning up her vomit, making her bed, giving her showers, etc etc. No thank yous, no I love yous these days. It hurts and I'm hurting. I'm exhausted.