#i'm proud of how this fandom is growing

[nex-kyit]

Saw someone reading cradle on public transport today and I had to do a double take to make sure I saw right because huh what

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

It should be a given, she said. It should be a given.

But it wasn't, was it? Both Randall and Elizabeth knew that all too well. It should be a given, Emily and Dorian were both right in that regard...but unfortunately, that just wasn't a guarantee.

Which was why it was so genuinely surprising, so genuinely touching, when someone did treat them like human beings, not just like mere laborers who should be grateful they were given such jobs that made them "useful" at best, or scum of the Earth that should be seldom seen and heard even less so at worst. They shouldn't have to be surprised by the kindness of their fellow man (least of all from the very people they planned to wed), and they knew it...

…but they were just the same.

Still, both of them tried to put these less-than-happy musings out of their minds as Elizabeth let Dorian hold her close, her heart soaring at the sensation of his arms around her waist, as Randall gave Emily a long and tender kiss, his heart skipping a beat at the touch of her lips against his, both of them silently thanking the heavens for these two wonderful lovers, who blessed their lives the way they did, who made their worlds a merrier place to live, even when it didn't seem so.

And provided the plan continued to go off without a hitch, it could be a merry life they could truly share, both Elizabeth and Randall silently promising to makes the lives of Dorian and Emily as joyous and wonderful as they made theirs.

[nerdanelparmandil]

I love how the fandom has given shape to Maedhros. He is sometimes gentle, sometimes feral, he is terrifying but beautiful, he is a war general and a politician, he is an elder brother, stern and kind, in some versions he loves Fingon, he loves Elrond, he regrets his deeds and hates his legacy, in others he longs for his parents' forgiveness, he is Fingolfin's friend or rival, he is witty, he is pensive, he is angry and he is desperate, he is hopeful but not for himself, he is proud and he is self-loathing, he feels crushed by responsibility but he grows into his role.

I love reading about him because the fandom makes him so interesting and complex and relatable.

Sometimes I read a fanfic and I'm awed, wishing that I could write a version of Maedhros that lives up to all of this. There are some incredibly talented writers in this fandom and I'm forever grateful.

[leclercmode]

happy birthday ☁️ charles leclerc

summary: posts for charles’ birthday through the years.

notes: hope u guys enjoy it!! :)

ynusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, and 17.972 others

ynusername i really hope you have the best of birthdays, char. always rooting for you! be happy, always.

View all 202 comments

charles_leclerc thank you, i am very grateful for your support and friendship 🥰

❤️ by author

user1 it's so cute how yn has always been there for charles

user2 there's nothing better than friends to lovers

user3 thank you for giving us these photos, yn!!!!

user4 @user3 she literally posted the best old pictures of charles

user5 “be happy, always” 😭💔😭💔😭💔

ynusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, and 23.082 others

ynusername the birthday boy! happy birthday il predestinato - keep killing it and paving the way for the rest of us. always proud of you.

View all 310 comments

charles_leclerc i would be nothing without you!

user6 @charles_leclerc wow!! a romantic.

user7 i just remember charles saying that he was in love with yn, but that he disguised it so she wouldn't notice. IS THAT DISGUISING IT?

user8 they were so in love with each other and only they themselves couldn't see it

user9 THE 2ND PIC

user10 i love them sm

ynusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, and 35.628 others

ynusername happiest birthday to you my other half, you deserve every bit of the amazing stuff coming your way. thank you for every single moment! 🤍

View all 368 comments

charles_leclerc cannot live without you

user11 i love how yn has always been behind the scenes

user12 “i would be nothing without you” to “cannot live without you”

user13 @user12 I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE

user14 @user12 😭😭😭😭😭

user15 i love their moments together

ynusername has added to their story

ynusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, and 48.972 others

ynusername pretty glad you were born. happy birthday, char.

View all 403 comments

charles_leclerc i love you so so much! everyday im reminded of how im the luckiest guy in the world to have you in my life.

user16 @charles_leclerc CHARLES OMG IM CRYING

arthur_leclerc my favorite people in the world, i love to see you making each other happy 🤍

user17 loving the whole fandom stalking yn's birthday posts for charles

user18 @user17 FR!!! they are so cute.

user19 they were already dating? (new to the charles’ fandom here)

user20 @user19 yes!!! this post is from 2022, charles said they had their first kiss in 2018 and started dating in 2019.

user21 yn and charles are so in love with each other and i'm in love with their relationship

ynusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 130.727 others

ynusername il predestinato, my ferrari boy and my char! countless nights i have dreamed about our future together. you are the man of my dreams, and i am so happy that you are not only my boyfriend but also my best friend. from the moment we met, i knew we were destined to be together forever. i cannot wait for the day where we get to grow old and frail together. i love you. happy birthday 🤍

View all 567 comments

charles_leclerc you are my one and only, i love you so much!

user22 im so happy that they have each other

user23 “and i am so happy that you are not only my boyfriend but also my best friend” IM CRYING

carlossainz55 😍😍

arthur_leclerc love you guys !! 😘

user24 this couple is masterpiece

[readychilledwine]

Happy Birthday, Baby

Summary - You being a busy little bee won't stop your husband from celebrating your birthday

Warnings - None

A/N - Backtracking through my masterlists I had planned and this little drabble ended up happening. I promise, my dear friends, I will post everything I've promised. I have a 5 day weekend coming so I can get all my edits done ❤️

🎂2024 Birthday Masterlist🎂

✨️Azriel Masterlist✨️Master Masterlist✨️

Peep @firefly-graphics for some ultra cute Dividers! So many options and fandoms.

Azriel stood in darkness, a single candle on a single cupcake. He was waiting in anticipation as the clock ticked slowly. You would be home soon after accomplishing a life goal.

Opening day had taken over your life, but you were officially the proud owner of the only bookstore in Velaris that had a coffee shop and bakery inside of it. You had a variety of seating and plenty of space, allowing a quiet place for others to read, work, and enjoy your favorite things, books and coffee.

Azriel was happy for you. Watching his mate, his wife, live her dreams was a reward he never felt he deserved. The only thing that hurt him was how little you had cared for yourself at this point.

Your nights were occupied with contacting authors, setting contracts with vendors, negotiating with Rhysand as he helped you pay for your dreams to come true. Your older brother had been beyond supportive, but was constantly checking your decisions to ensure they promised profit.

Not that money mattered.

This was about joy. Nothing else.

You had been so into this project that you had forgotten today was your birthday. To you, your birthday was nothing more than just another sunrise and sunset. To Azriel, it should have been a holiday within the Night Court. All of the courts, actually.

His most perfect little fae, the one he was made and destined for, the one who made him want to be better for himself and her deserved to be worshiped, and the fact that you had forgotten your birthday was killing him.

He perked up when the door opened. You walked in and froze when you saw him. Azriel stared at you as he lit the candle, his smile beginning to grow as you walked over.

He passed it to you before leaning on the counter, his eyes almost shining like hearts. Azriel watched as you blew out the candle, hoping your wish was for more time with him before moving to grab two little plates to split the cupcake with him.

His hands were on you instantly, arms wrapping around your waist pulling your back against his firm chest. “Love you so much,” he whispered into your hair. “You were supposed to come home hours ago.”

“I love you, too,” you giggled as he pouted, face buried in your neck, “I was so busy after you left. I'm sorry.”

“How busy,” he murmured. “Who stopped you from being with me?”

“I completely sold out of blind date books," there was an air of pride in your tone that hadn't been heard in years.

Azriel paused, “Really? You wrapped over 100?”

She nodded, cutting the cupcake for them, ���Like I said, very busy.”

The two of you sat at the table, the dying fireplace the only glow lighting up the room. It wasn't how he wanted to spend the day, but the satisfied, tired smile on your face said it all. For you, today was perfect and that was all that mattered.

Azriel laced your fingers together, breaking the silence with his soft, deep voice, “Happy birthday, baby.”

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp @itsswritten @milswrites

[jaicey]

Hidden Desires

Oneshot

Summary: You come home late after hanging out with Lonnie and she's jealous.

Words: 2.6k

Warnings: angst? Idk, not proofread and unresolved feelings. Doesn't follow the descendants plot, let's all pretend they all still share dorms okay pookies?

A/N: made this in 3am when I randomly got a brain fart, 10 yr old me would be so proud of embracing my gayness for Evie, also so glad the fandom is alive again.

The cool night air nipped at your skin as you tiptoed towards yours, Evie's and Mal's dorm—though, considering Mal mostly slept at her boyfriend Ben's dorm, it might as well have been yours and Evie's. But Tonight, you prayed for her presence, a silent plea to the universe to spare you Evie's wrath for your tardiness. Holding your breath, you gently turned the door handle, feeling a cold shiver run down your spine. You nearly sighed in relief when you found it unlocked, but your efforts to sneak in quietly went to waste as the door suddenly swung open, blowing stray hairs out of your face. Your heart pounded as it revealed, Evie. Her striking blue hair seemed to amplify the icy coldness of her expression

"Where have you been?" The dark blue-haired woman spoke in a flat voice, her expression stony. You knew what this meant.

Or did you?

Your body went slack under her intense gaze like a deer caught in headlights.

There was a strange contrast between her imposing figure and the ethereal glow cast upon her by the moonlight filtering through the window. She looked... Hot breathtakingly beautiful- You're doing it again! A wave of heat flushed your face as you shook your head to clear your thoughts and quickly averted your gaze to look over her shoulder, spotting one lit lamp and no sign of the purple-haired girl. You cursed under your breath and looked back at Evie. Your breath hitched as she tilted her head, eyes half-lidded, expecting an answer.

You sighed and finally gave in. "Me and Lonnie were hanging out at her dorm... and I didn't realize how late it got."

"Of course, you were at her place again." Evie rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"You were supposed to help me tonight. You promised." she reminded you, and you missed the slight quiver in her voice.

"I'm so, so sorry, Vie! I got really caught up in—" your mind raced, trying to find a plausible excuse. 'You got really caught up in ranting your growing feelings for Evie to Lonnie,' your inner voice taunted.

Crossing your arms against the chill of the hallway, you wondered if it was the cold seeping into your bones or Evie's icy glare that made you shiver, or maybe both.

As if sensing your discomfort, she grabbed your arm and dragged you into the room, slamming the door behind you. Your body gradually warmed, but Evie's cold stare remained fixed on you.

She turned away with a sigh, heading towards her bed. There, she grabbed a stylish blue jacket accented with black before returning to hand it to you. Hesitantly, you slipped it on, finding solace in its warmth and the lingering scent of her.

"I can still help," you offered, your gaze wandering over her surprisingly tidy desk. It was odd. Usually, it was a chaotic mess of patterned papers, colorful threads, and half-finished projects. She always cleaned up the next day.

Weird.

"It's fine. You should rest. You look exhausted from whatever you and Lonnie were up to," she said, her voice dripping with barely concealed disdain. You didn't notice it though, of course you didn't.

Had their fencing match really been that intense? You attempted to fix your hair, though you doubted it made a difference. A vivid memory surfaced of your earlier debacle with Lonnie, where you’d spent the entire session hitting her with the blade while rambling about Evie, all on the misguided advice that it would help.

Clearly, it hadn't.

"Vie, are you okay?" You ventured deeper into the room, her eyes holding an unreadable emotion.

"Yes,"

"Are you sure? You don't look it. If it's about not being able to help you like I promised, I'm really sorry, Vie. I'll make it up to you, I swear! I'll even make Lonnie—"

"Yes! I'm sure!" she interrupted, plopping down on her bed. "Sleep."

"Alright...if you say so," you muttered, letting the matter drop. A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you flopped onto the bed beside hers. You rolled onto your back, facing Evie's turned form.

Five minutes later, sleep remained elusive. You tossed and turned, counting imaginary sheep to no avail. Frustration gnawed at you. Opening your eyes again, you found Evie still restless, her body shifting as she searched for a comfortable position. With a creak of the bed, you gave up and stood up.

You hesitated, biting your lip as you leaned towards her seemingly sleeping form. A gentle tap on her shoulder was your next move. This couldn't be weird, right? You two had done this countless times as kids. You're doing this platonically, Right?

"Can I-" Your words were cut short as a strong hand yanked you onto the bed beside her. She rolled over, facing away from you, a muffled "yes you may" escaping her lips. Relief washed over you as you slid under the covers. Her warmth was comforting, a familiar sensation that brought back memories of countless childhood nights spent huddled together against the cold. This was how it was supposed to be, you realized. You'd do anything to preserve this moment, even if it meant burying your growing feelings deep down. For now, this was enough.

Evie turned to face you, a soft smile playing on her lips as she watched you sleep. Your mouth was slightly open, and you were snoring lightly. A fleeting thought crossed her mind, a dangerous impulse to kiss you. But it was quickly dismissed as she reached out to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. a gentle gesture that belied the turmoil within her.

Her mind raced back to earlier. Why were you so insistent on spending time with Lonnie? What could she possibly have that Evie didn't? She was prettier, smarter—well, at least in her own mind. And yet, you'd broken your promise to help her with her shop, a lie she'd made just to keep you close. It was a desperate plea, a transparent attempt to cling to your presence. Was she jealous? The thought was absurd. She didn't like you...or did she? No, it was just protectiveness, pure and simple. If only you knew how she truly felt.

Her gaze drifted to your lips, and she found herself tracing their outline with her thumb. A wave of fear washed over her. What if you left her once you discovered her feelings? The thought of losing your friendship was unbearable. She would do anything to maintain this fragile balance, even if it meant burying her emotions deep within.

I might or might not make a part two idk

[bebebelll]

does anyone know her dad? daniel ricciardo smau (part 1)

pairing: daniel ricciardo x toto's secret child!reader / daniel ricciardo x schumacher and wolff!reader warnings: cursing and some general fandom hate wags get note: first time doing this i dont know if this right but lets go! part 2, part 3 and part 4

mickschumacher happy birthday to @ynquads !! sorry for crashing into the cake! mama said she'll make you another

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 122 498 others

gina_schumacher thanks for almost cropping me out of the picture

mickschumacher it's about yn!! ynquads i though i was you favourite cousin gigi :( why u being so mean to me :( i'll go tell my parents micschumacher ill tell mama you're being mean to yn username123 always love seeing mick and yn be annoying little siblings

maxverstappen1 congrats! is it enough to say it here or do i have to make my own post? ive given you a present

ynquads bring me cowboy boots from austin and you dont have to

username cute cute cute cute cute cute

username honestly schumacher genes dont even feel real anymore

username right!?!?! i want yn to win the figure skating grand prix but then i remember that video where she went karting with max username like a billion drivers and a skater and the good looks in ONE family? god really does have favourites

lewishamilton happy birthday! it's been great seeing you grow up

username excuse me sir? what do you mean grow up?

ynquads visited japan for a wedding and now i'm all ready for skate america!! let's gooo cricket club!!

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, susie_wolff and 112 666 others

username YOU GOT INVITED TO YUZURU'S WEDDING

ynquads i even got to bring daniel🤭

danielricciardo it was a lovely wedding❤️❤️(ours is gonna be better)

username excuse what the fuck lewishamilton actually you're not allowed to marry her without our permission danielricciardo whose permission would i even ask? lewishamilton every german speaking driver and like three team bosses good luck

username ARIANA (our queen & god susie wolff) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

maxverstappen1 daniel's being gross make him stop

danielricciardo am not! ynquads lmao throw bread at him danielricciardo all the love ive given you and this is how you repay me? ynquads ooh i'll repay you 😏 maxverstappen1 dont be weird under my comment

username oh she has time to fly to japan but not go to a single race ever

username babes danny has not been in the since zandvoort. theres been no race to go see him username they've been together for like three years and she's only been to less than ten races username like seriously cant she ever be supportive username you people do realize she's an athlete too?

ynquads we got silver!!!💪🥈🥈🥈congrats to kaori sakamoto 🥇 and isabeau levito🥉 (also thanks uncle lewis for dinner)

tagged: lewishamilton

liked by maxverstappen1 and 237 274 others

nicorosberg he gave you alcohol?

ynquads i have never actually drank alcohol at all in my entire life (also dad was there i was not even allowed to get food that had rum in the sauce) maxverstappen1 oh yeah we did not at all just get drunk ynquads shut up before nico goes to talk to my DAD

username are we all just gonna ignore that she calls lewis "uncle" like seriously how disrespectful is that

username calm the fuck down she calls him and all the older grid (especially sebastian) uncle so it is not new

danielricciardo why you holding your head like that? is it heavy from all the pretty? i can hold it for you

nicorosberg this is who you choose @ynquads danielricciardo why are you bullying me too??? ynquads hes funny onkel nico (uncle) username how is nico rosberg here dragging danny ric? you dont even follow him?

username EVERYBODY CALM DOWN THIS IS NOT A DRILL WE HAVE A CHANCE TO HAVE YN WIN THIS YEAR'S GRAND PRIX PLEASE BE ON EVERY PODIUM

susie_wolff congrats honey! we're really proud!

username i still think it's so damn weird she just hangs out with the older grid. how does she even know then to go on dinners

username okay but when the hell did this even happen? i follow yn and she trains in toronto and during summer is in germany or england. she doesnt attend the races? how the fuck is she and DANIEL RICCIARDO together babes

username i bet my life that max introduced them i can feel it in my bones that he planned this username "oh sorry i won by 30 secs and you have a shitbox to drive, wanna meet my friend she's great gf material? you have no chance without help" ynquads i mean.... username OH MY GOD

username she's such a shit girlfriend honestly. she dates daniel for publicity and then drags lewis down too

username what the fuck are you smoking??

username how the FUCK did daniel ricciardo bag the talented pretty QUAD QUEEN MISS YN SCHUMACHER!!! thats my wife actually! what about our kids and three lambs??

f1wagsupdates paparazzi has released a video of mercedes team boss toto wolff exiting a restaurant and driving off with a young woman. even though she tried to cover herself, the woman was quicky identified as yn schumacher. she is a figure skater and 20+ years younger. in an interview from home yn can be seen walking around the wolff kitchen in little clothing. is this the ending to toto's perfect looking marriage with fellow motorsport boss susie wolff?

liked by 10 385

username if i dont read it, it doesnt exist. no one's cheating ever

username toto and susie's kid is like 5 how could he throw that away??

username its always the goddamn family men fucking over their wives and kids

username this is such bullshit. toto and susie have been together since like 2011 this is so horrible

username little clothing? she's wearing like pajamas

[velvet-paradox]

Chaste

Fandom: Call of Duty Pairing: Virgin!König x Female reader Summary: König finally meets his match. Length: Long (idk what's gotten into me with these but you are welcome) Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, virginity loss, kissing, (protected) p in v, detailed smut. ENJOY!!!

He's panicking.

He can practically hear his hair growing, his pants are too tight, his hands are getting that weird kind of clammy he gets when he's about to take aim. He's beginning to sweat and is currently now wondering if wearing a white button up was the right choice.

He already stands out.

Of course he does. And not just by height alone, not to mention the weight his body carries, how broad his shoulders are. Also the crisp mask that covers his face and drapes around his shoulders is a dead give away. He slouched a little to make room for the chattering couple headed over to get their seats, giving him shy smiles but he knows their whispering about him. Their always whispering about him. Maybe he should just leave, get out of dodge, mention he's not feeling well, which is only partially true.

He's so sick with nerves. His anxiety meter is about explode.

….

Months of talking, letters sent over state, county, and country lines. You even had his SAT phone number just in case! It felt silly at first, he hid the frequent Pen Pal flyer that hung amongst other such distractions at the base. There were plenty of names to choose from with just a sprinkle of information.

Rhys was 26, worked in IT, loves video games. Tegan 32, makes and sells seashell earrings. Statler, 38, enjoyed hiking and the outdoors. Nate, 33, was a fisherman, Trout specificity. His blue eyes scanned the sheet until one name stood out to him for some reason.

He started writing to you immediately and he couldn't seem to stop. After the third letter exchange you gave him your social handles and phone number. God he was so nervous to hit the call button, but he was pleased when you answered after the first ring.

He'd get a tingly feeling in his gut when his civie phone would ping, a well sought out and selected little chime that singled you out from the rest. It took him hours to find just the right sound that not only would remind him of you but one so defined that if he were to hear it he'd jump out of bed immediately. It didn't even have to be a selfie to get him smiling, a simple good morning handsome would suffice.

'How's your day going so far?'

'I'm proud of you.'

'Oh the praise!'

You threw buckets of it at him and he gobbled it up with glee. He was curious how well he could conduct himself in person. Hopefully not bust in his jeans like some degenerate.

He'd be lying if it didn't get him hard though, his thick cock pulsing from your honest affirmations, holding and biting the hem of his shirt as he jerked off.

Coming to the niceties that would fall from your lips.

"Come on, come on. I'm right there, oh you look so cute. Bet you give great hugs, fuck, to feel you against me. Oh god!"

He couldn't help it.

It made him feral, groaning your name only made him work and twist his fist even tighter, even harder. He felt a little guilty though, this was your first time meeting in person and he'd already jerked off to the thought of you twice this week alone.

The theatre was getting filled up rather quickly as he sat at the top, next to the stairs so he could survey the area. It was better to have your back against the wall than to be vulnerable and in sight. Combat has taught him that very early on.

He looked down at his watch, 7:24. The movie was to start soon but where were you? Was this a joke to you, was he the joke? Were you standing him up. Were you out with someone else? Maybe you were ashamed to be seen with the likes of him. Maybe this was a bad idea-

"König!" He looked started until he saw you at the bottom of the stairs, excitedly waving as you ran up the stairs, two at time once you got closer. Excusing yourself to others finding seats. He stood to show you he'd saved you a seat, certainly inot excpecting you to jump at him, into his arms. Luckily for the both of you he's got incredible reflexes.

"You're bigger than I thought!" You exclaimed when he set you down.

Looking over your pretty sundress, with its' delicate floral patterns and pastel shade beneath. Your sneakers were bright and looked fresh right out of the box.

"I get that a lot. Um, here, I have saved you a seat."

"You mean iyou're not my seat?"

Oh dear!

You giggled and told him you were only joking, he wouldn't have minded really but he was unsure how you'd feel about feeling him half-hard already from seeing you, smelling your perfume that he hoped would last throughout the night. Possibly linger on his clothes long after you split.

You wiggled down in the saved spot, looping your arm through his chatting away before the lights dimmed down and the trailers emerged on the screen.

During the film he feels you breathing, wiggling and bumping up against his arm. You're so distracting even though you staring forward and not at him like he's looking at you. You smell so nice, your skin is soft and in the brighter scenes on the screen he can see down the front of your dress. He had to correct himself twice. No fucking staring, big man!

"So! What did you think?" you ask joyfully as you left the theater, still attached to his arm.

He would actually have an answer if he weren't watching you for most of the movie. So he shrugs and gives hopefully a somewhat honest answer.

"I liked it." He didn't have a lack of restriction when you mentioned your favorite movie was getting a long awaited sequel and that it would be in theaters by the time he got back from deployment.

"I think it held up quite nicely, I'm glad they went the route they did. Rumor had it they were just gonna' recycle the same old script and mix some junk in there for flavor. Wait, we didn't get any snacks, you've gotta' be starving, you didn't eat any popcorn or candy!"

" 'm alright, Y/N."

"Are you sure? There's a nice little diner just down the road a bit. I'll even feed you if you want." Your face lights up with a smile and a wink and König is blushing all over beneath his hood. How could he say no to that?

You idid in fact feed him a few bites of your biscuits and gravy, he'd seen it before but was always turned off by the fact he may not enjoy the combination. So he he stuck to his usual soft scramble eggs platter they offered. The gravy wasn't bad.

"So how many dates have you been on? I imagine one sees 'experienced military' gets you a fair share of dinners and phone numbers."

König choked on his coffee under the mask. He set the cup down but kept his hands around the mug for warmth. "Uh… you are actually my first."

"Really? Of the week?" You enquired sweetly.

He shook his head. "Nein."

"Ohhhh of the month?"

Again he shook his head.

"Of the year?" You asked, tilting your head.

"Of forever. You are my first date, officially."

"EVER?!" you quickly covered your mouth and smiled at him across the checkerboard table top. "I'm your first date?! Talk about pressure! Now I really gotta' step up and show you a good time. Can't have you going around destroying my reputation."

His brows creased behind the mask. "You have a reputation?"

"No but it would be pretty neat if I did!" Your laugh made his stomach lurch and for the first time, in a very long time, he might actually be a little happy.

"Are we going for a walk now?" König asked once outside the diner, the air had cooled off a bit which was a relief because your flirting and smiling face was making him hot beneath the collar. Fingers and toes crossed he wasn't visibly sweating.

"Oh. Do you want to?"

"Is that not what you're supposed to do?"

"I mean you can. There's no rules."

"That's what they do in the movies." König pondered out loud. He'd seen in done so many times he just thought 'oh I'm going on a date, eat dinner, then walk around for a bit'. No harm in that really. Now he felt embarrassed and kind of ticked off that he'd had that logged away in his memory for so many years.

"We can walk, there's a park with a pond behind those trees over there."

Before he can stuff his shame back into his pocket, he's being yanked across the street, dodging some traffic and a dog that should have been on a leash.

It was nice. He didn't have to think so much, you were taking the lead which was refreshing. You weren't scared of him, or threatened by his size. He dwarfed your body easily, no questions asked. Used to orders from the higher ups, though a colonel himself, he was raised on a routine, strict guidelines to follow correctly. With you, even for this first initial date, he was so attracted to you, so much so that he allowed you to drag his weight around the park.

"Maybe next time I could cook for you. Would you like that?" You asked, strolling along the cobblestones. The branches swaying in the warm night air. Petals from some rose bushes had fallen around the base of the bush like a halo.

His heart surged. "There is going to be a next time?"

"I hope so."

"I wasn't sure if maybe you were taking pity on me."

"I'm not like that. I'm having a good time with you. You're safe with me ya' know?" You stopped and held his hand, using it for leverage to pull yourself up to stand on a park bench. You were closer now, your eyes bright and face aglow. He was in trouble. Even more so when you placed your hands on his shoulders, he walked closer and smiled when you hugged him again.

He plucked one of the roses out from the bush and kept it hidden behind his back while you walked around a bit more before parting ways. The way you squealed with delight, how cheeky you got, how you inhaled the given rose made him smile. He hadn't felt like this before.

….

"What's got you in a mood?" Simon asked once he was back on base. The lieutenant shared an on-suite room with him, just coming back from the showers by the looks of it. König had maybe done a little spin once in the safety of his room.

"Nothing, L.T." König slipped the movie stub into his keep sake box. Locked of course, inside held his personal belongings, his passports, SAT phone, all your letters and a few polaroid's you'd taken.

"Ah, you can't hid nothin' from me, colonel. I know ye' too well, yer jus' like me." Simon finished shaking out his wet blonde hair like a dog, watching him lock the box with the key.

"I am nothing like you Simon, the only things we have in common are military backgrounds and close in height." König snorted.

"That's what you think! So where were ya'?"

"I had a date, thank you very much." König admitted and by the gafwed noise Simon made, maybe he should have kept his big mouth shut. Because now Ghost was wild eyed and begging for gossip, sitting down next to him on his bed, getting water everywhere. He'd have to change out his sheets now.

"You on a date, sir? I can't wrap my head aroun' that!"

"She's nice and funny and I didn't have to think so much. No jumping through hoops with this one, she's direct and very easy on the eyes. And she wants to cook for me." König couldn't help it, once he got going telling Simon little pieces about you, Simon turned into mush, collecting these little nuggets like breadcrumbs.

"Cook for you? Hot damn, König, you must've made some impression."

"Ja, I guess I did."

"So what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. I just, I am not experienced in this, talking phase or dating, relationships. That sort of thing is in the unknown to me. I barely have any friends, no romantic affairs, no wild tales of my youth. You know me, I signed up the moment I could. All I know is this," König exclaimed, gesturing to their barrack room. Cold and lonely, nothing cozy about the place. Just beige, white and cement. No color. Drab. "What if that's not enough for a woman like her?"

"Look man, I don't know this bird but what I do know is this," Simon clapped him on the back twice. "You had a successful date, mission complete. You're about to get a free dinner out of a lovely gal and who knows, she likes you this much to cook for ya'. I'd say you're enough."

He thought about that all night. Hung up his white shirt, after inhaling it when Simon left, smiling into the crisp fabric because your scent was faintly there. Was he enough? He worried a hole into the ceiling, laying there in his sweats and socks.

You texted him that you had gotten home safe, sending a quick picture of yourself holding the rose to your face. He stared at it for little longer before closing his eyes.

….

"I'm sorry to break it to you boys, but we've been called into action. Boots on the ground, simple recon. I know I know. Hit me with it already," Captain John Price announced a few days later in the debriefing room. His statement was met with groans of disappointment, sighs of defeat. They just gotten back to base, couldn't they found a better, eager group of recruits for a recon? Even the colonel let out a huff, tapping his foot against the table. "Two days time and we head out. Dismissed."

König bit at the inside of his cheek the whole way back to his room, taken away from you yet again. He grabbed his phone and pulled up your contact photo. It always gave him pause when he saw you now, your face, make up or bare. The one he chose was you fresh out of the shower in your bathroom, soft, wet, supple skin. Little drops of water clung to your neck. You were smiling, no teeth, cheeks high and with a wink you snapped it just for him. This one was nowhere to be found on any of your socials and that made him feel a little better. You did like him, enjoy his company.

"Hey, are you busy?" He'd asked when you picked up right away, dogs barking in the background as you told Barkley to 'cool his jets!'.

Whatever that meant. You were dog sitting for a friend for a few days, you did that fairly often as you had a whole camera reel of you playing with him, laying around, posing. Barkley is very photogenic.

"Nope, just at the dog park, why? What's up?"

"Do you think I uh, maybe I could stop by. I need to talk to you about something."

"Oh? Yeah sure, I'll just uh, send you my location. We'll see you soon König! Say bye Barkley!"

To König's surprise the dog did in fact bark back.

You lived in a beautiful brownstone building close by, off street parking, lots of trees and a decorated stoop. The top step had a decent chunk missing on the left side. He turned off his bike, flipping open the visor as he looked for your apartment number on the buzzer. The door unlocked and up the stairs he went, second floor, third door in the middle. He only knocked once before you were there, opening the door and trying your hardest of keep Barkley from escaping.

"Sorry, he's kinda' wound up. Got himself a pretty good stick, he's very proud of himself."

König had to duck to get inside, like most places, door frames were not made for men the size of small houses. He took off his helmet and kept it tucked under his arm. Barkley, your two year old Doberman slid into the hallway, holding said stick in his mouth.

Barkley stopped short and tilted his head to the side, bright white teeth started to unfurl.

"Barkley, no. We like him, he's my special friend, okay?"

"Might be the mask." König chuckled, his heart beating a little bit faster, he carefully pulled it off and held it out to the pet. I'm her 'special' friend, he thought gleefully. He didn't even recognize what he'd just done until he looked up at you, blinking quietly, shocked.

"What?"

"You just… you just took off your mask." You sounded almost breathless, slowly pointing at him.

Oh no!

König went to quickly put it back on but in his haste and excitement Barkley snatched it with his teeth and ran into the living room.

"Get back here you silly thing!" You shouted and followed him, he could hear you tussling and trying to negotiate with Barkley while König freaked out in the kitchen. How could he have let this happen? What had gotten into him? Just exposed his face to civilian, a woman he was actually interested in? Oh this was bad, so vary bad. What if you thought he looked like a monster, turned off by his exterior? He'd never live with himself!

A little out of breath but smiling you popped in, joining him at the counter.

"Sorry about that, cutie. He's been in a playful mood all day." You were holding out the mask with one hand and covering your eyes, head turned to the side.

What did you call him?

He took it and hastily slipped it back on, righting it so he could actually see.

"Better?" You asked and took a little peek, making sure he had put the streaked cloth back on to his head.

"Much."

"I mean it though; you are a cutie. I mean, I knew you would be, but seeing your bare face, sheesh. Could've warned a girl, huh?" You lightheartedly sighed, fixed your shirt and bit bumped into his shoulder on purpose, resting your head there, looking up at him with those eyes, those lashes. He never wanted to kiss someone so much as he did right then.

"You actually… you think I'm cute?" He blushed something fierce, from the base of his neck, to the cartilage of his ears, he was burning up.

"Uh huh. Just like you think I'm cute."

"You… oh no, nein nein, you are… spectacular. I could write poetry about you! A muse. I don't know how this happened but, you came to me like a siren in the night, calling out to me to rest at your shore. Surely you might drown me, a risk I am willing to take. But instead you took pity on me, let me go after luring me into your clutches."

"Wow. That's uh, that's some high ass praise. I don't think anyone has ever been that excited about me before." You squeezed his arm, he could feel your pulse, the added warmth.

"Well they were all fools then."

"Yeah, I guess so." You stared at each other, not saying a word, just looking. Usually König couldn't stand eye contact, only to his superiors, had to give them recognition and attention of course. But this was the longest he'd looked at someone this long. It didn't feel as jittery as he was used to. Eyes flickering over each other, mapping out your face, the shape of your ears, the curve of your mouth. Which was soon turning into a smile.

"You said you had something to tell me."

"Oh! Right right, um, sorry. I know I just got back but, according to this morning I'll be MIA again."

It hurt to say it, to know he'd be gone from you once you two had hit it off so well, it stung when your face dropped and you looked away from him. It burned like hell when you pulled away.

"You just got here!"

"I know but what the captain says goes." König shrugged.

"Gimmie' his number."

"What?"

"Your captain! I oughta' give him a piece of my mind for this. I finally find a decent guy, we have crazy chemistry and he's just gonna' steal you away again? uh uh, not on my watch!"

Concern quickly left when you broke out in hysterics, doubling over with laughter, pushing his arm playfully. Clearly Barkley's energy was rubbing off on you!

"Don't worry König," you grinned. "I'll be here when you get back."

….

The three day recon had turned quickly sour and was now on its' 6th consecutive day. The target was being moved around at all hours of the day and once they thought they had gotten their man, they were a step and a half behind. Tedious work.

In the safehouse, face lit up by his phone screen he waited for those little dots to convert into text.

'I miss you, I hope you're being safe out there. Weather has been messy back home. Did you find an apartment you like yet? Not saying you have to but my building has a FOR RENT sign up!'

'Oh we would be so close'

'you mean neighbors :)'

The thought of living off base, not having to share a room with Simon any longer would be a real treat. Moving would be a breeze, he could always buy a pull out couch if he wanted. He didn't pack much and was not actually too sentimental, until recently that is.

You picked him up from the base, waiting patently by your car when he exited the helo, duffel over his shoulder in his gear. He smiled behind the hood at you waving to him wildly with both hands, as if he could ever miss your beaming face.

"Hiya cutie! Thought I'd surprise ya'. You look massive in uniform, damn!"

He maybe blushed a little as the rest of the company walked past. "I missed you terribly, my dear." König happily lifted you off your feet in an embrace. "I can't stop thinking about you."

"Me either. Have you got stuff to do here or do you wanna' come home with me?"

Home? With… you.

He swallowed, seeing Ghost give him a thumbs up as he walked by. The FOR RENT sign should have been flashing neon lights at him as he rode passenger, holding his things in his thick lap as you pulled in front. Second floor, third door from the middle; he remembered. He also took a mental note of the phone number to call if interested.

"I know you probably don't have--"

"One sec!"

You held up a finger and ran into your bedroom, you came back with a small container. You had taken the time, the care to make him a little treat. How thoughtful. You had remembered what soap he mentioned he liked, preferred body oil to lotion, too sticky. A fresh pair of shampoo and conditioners, face wash. You were taking care of him.

You smiled up at him, presenting it to him. "For you."

"For me? You did not have to do any of this." He said, noticing there were fresh washcloths and an exfoliating cloth.

"I know. I wanted to. You know if case you stay over sometimes."

"You um want me to sleep over? In your space?"

"When you're ready."

After using your shower, incredible water pressure he thought, he toweled off and decided to keep his face bare. Tossing the mask, along with his uniform into a pile on top of his duffel bag.

Something smelled delicious when he came around the corner, you had an apron on over your skirt and top, your legs looked amazing in those pantyhose. The thought of shredding them lingered in his brain hours later. The quick inhale of your breath when you saw his face again, the cute little grin, the way your mouth twitched. How you continued to call him cutie.

"You went through all this trouble, there must be something I can do." König sighed as you gathered up the plates.

"It's not a problem König, I enjoy cooking. It's my love language I guess." You said with a shrug, sure of yourself as you rinsed them off a bit before adding them to your dishwasher. If the apartment(s) for rent in your building were anything like this, he would have made the score of a lifetime! A gorgeous woman interested in him, doting on him, cooking for him, calling him cute… and to not deal with Simon.

He'd hit the lottery!

"If you want to do something in return," you sang, wiping off your hands and took his in yours. "You can snuggle me on the couch. Deal?"

Deal.

He'd thought about it for months, how he would hold you in his arms, craddle you there, play with your hair, the hem of your shirt. To smell you, to feel you. Touch you. He would be lying if he hadn't dreamt up a life with you. He was, after all, getting of that settling down phase of his life.

You had the plushiest of blankets draped over the back of your couch that you dragged over you two once you got comfortable. Leaning against his side, tucked beneath his armpit. He was greatful he had an extra set of clothes in that bag of his, because laying against his unifomr, 6 days of sweat and grim would inot be ideal.

He drummed his fingers over your shoulder, you are so warm, he thought, even more so when you laced your much smaller fingers with his.

"I'm not, I'm not as experienced as you might think." He said suddenly, before you got the chance to see him grimace.

"I know. You said I was your first date."

"Ja, you were. In fact, if you desired, you would be my first; everything."

He got a little nervous when you stayed quiet before turning your head up against his shoulder, touching his jaw. "Everything?"

"Well, I once held a girls' hand and she got grossed out because I got all clammy, she made me so nervous! I did not know what to do." König expressed.

"That's ok. You're fine."

"You mean, you're… you're not weirded out by that?"

"No way, cutie. If you want, we can take easy steps. Remember what I told you on our first date?" You smiled, what a wonderful smile, and patted his cheek, thumbing over the bone. "You are safe with me, I meant it then and I mean it now."

"What do you mean by easy steps?"

"Well, we can hold hands like this or we can kiss, we can make out, you can touch me if you want."

"Do you want me to? Touch you that is."

You snorted out a laugh and faced him on the couch, sad that your body heat was leaving him wanting more. Come back here hase!

"Not to be a little perv, but what I want you to do to me, is a lot more than just touching."

"Like what?"

"Ah, curiosity killed the cat you know? um, let's see." You pondered, tapping your chin before giving a full answer. "I want to kiss you, all over. And I mean all over, I want to learn your body, what you like what you don't like. Good and bad touches. I want to your hold your hand over my heart so you can feel how much I want you. I also want you to learn me as well, feel me, inside and out. Taste me."

God that sounded amazing. How he had wanted the same, had dreamt about it, had stroked his cock to it. Watching porn, situations he wanted to be in with you. All the positions he knew and maybe more than you knew, that you could teach him. Oh the possibilities!

But then…

"What if I'm not good at it?"

"That's what practice is for silly!" You bopped him on the nose.

"You mean this wouldn't be like a --"

"One time thing? Heavens no! König, I see you as my boyfriend. We're in a relationship."

A relationship. He's your boyfriend. You his lady. Jackpot indeed!

"Simon is definitely going to give me shit for that, first relationship and I'm almost 40!"

"There is no rush. People make such a big deal out of sex and relationships when its' really not that complicated. Either you do it or don't. You're either turned on by the idea or the intimacy, or you can go without. No two people are the same. Look, if you want like a routine or itinerary, I know you're used to that, I could come up with a game plan. Get you prepared."

"You would do that for me?"

"König, I would do anything for you."

….

Back on base he pulled up his tablet, excited, giddy with the potential of being intimate with you. He didn't even have time to jerk off, instead his mind was a cluster fuck of what you had in store for him. How exciting! You had quickly made a checklist of sorts, he was eager to punch each line, each owrd, each iactivity into his tablet.

Now this he could work with.

He even made time to call up your landlord, leaving a message after hours.

He was going to know your body like coordinates and that, for whatever reason, made sense and excited him even further. His pants getting a bit tight as he laid on his bed.

What Y/N enjoys (FOR YOUR EYES ONLY CUTIE ;p )

Hitting all the bases

The good, the bad, the absolutely NOT

You were thorough, giving just enough information as he logged it all in. Only hiding his evidence as if it were pornography when Simon popped into the room, unannounced, tossing him a stolen cinnamon roll. His favorite.

"Now are you sure? We don't have to do anything." Your voice was even as you two sat on your couch, he'd been excited when you suggested sitting in his lap. Eager to feel you against him, you sat across his large thighs, kicking and rubbing your feet against the cushions in anticicpation.

"I'm positive. Green." He nodded several times, holding on to your side. His fingers twitched when you lifted off the mask, you smiled and booped him on the end of his nose.

"Ready?"

"Here goes." König voiced, though it sounded more like he was talking to himself then to you.

He closed his eyes, tried not to squeeze them so tight, but dammit if this wasn't nerve wracking! He's a grown man, he's been to war, has seen carnage and gore. Has had a lot of it on his own hands, under his nails, stained clothing, broken bones. Scars, some self made, most of the others had been fought for. That, oh he could do that stuff in his sleep but this… being vulnerable, not in his repertoire.

He puckered up and you snickered. "What are you doing?"

His blue eyes opened in a panic. "What? I thought we were going to kiss."

"Well, yeah, we are but not like that. That's some Hollywood mumbo jumbo. A kiss needs to be felt out like, like this." You held his face in your hands, looking into his eyes softly, and tilted your head. With your eyes looking down at his mouth he felt your lips against his own, plump and warm. Ghosting them there before you shut your eyes and pressed your mouths together.

Oh, that's nice.

He breathed you in, fingers relaxing on your ribs as you started to move your mouth now, opening your lips a little wider, taking his top one solely into your mouth. You hummed and pressed your body against him before pulling back a few inches.

"See, like that. That's just a basic--"

König surged forward then, kissing you a little harder, taken aback but not unwarranted you met him kiss for kiss, smacking against one another. You made him jolt when you licked the seam of his lips, on instinct, and because it kind of tickled, but he let you in. Tasting him, his tongue seemed to know what to do as you made out. You pulled back once more, out of breath and smiling.

"You're a fast learner. Pretty damn good at it too, you're a natural."

You mused and kissed him one more time.

Learning the bases was pretty straightforward and simple.

First base, was already established. Second wasn't as trembling of a thought when you guided his hands when he faltered. You wore a dress this time, laid back on your bed, ankles crossed as he laid next to you, mapping out your body.

Your neck was soft under his calloused palm, your collar, he froze when all he wanted to do was hold your breast. You sat up enough on to your elbows for him to do so.

"Go on, give my girls' a good squeeze." You winked and smirked when he followed orders. They were soft and supple in his large hands, the noise you made urged him further, smoothing over your stomach, your thighs. God your thighs, he thought. How plush and how nice they would feel around his waist, around his head.

"That's it König, you're doing such a good-- oh!" You snapped your mouth shut when he covered your entire mound with his hand, feeling you pulse and twitch. He smiled and leaned down for a kiss.

"Color? Can I look?"

"Fuckin' green all the way. You can do more than look, hot stuff!"

Oh did he look. Eyes paying close attention to you pulling off your panties, tossing them off the edge of your bed, spreading your legs as he moved into a sniper position.

Not only did he look but he touched, moving your legs apart, smiling to himself that he could see a line of arousal leaking down your slit. iI did that! I did that! Your body pulsed around him, made him feel dizzy with need. Your pussy is so pretty, he thought.

Or at least he thought he only said to himself.

"Well thanks."

"Mind if I--"

"I told you green, cutie. She won't bite." Your chuckle disappeared into an inhale when he started to touch you, feel you, the whines you made were making the man rock hard, his skin was too tight and this was the best decision he'd made in a long fucking time.

You came around his fingers twice when you showed him what you liked, knuckle deep in your cunt, soothing your engorged bundle of nerves, he even snuck in a kiss or two. The way you showed him how to massage the sensitive skin around, how you liked to make a V with fingers, displaying the tender meat of your cunt.

"Oh baby that's it! That's it!"

….

"You're moving quite fast, König." Simon said on his last evening at the base, emptying the already sparse on-suite room. He had all of his belongings, except for a bed, in only 3 standard issue duffels.

"For the last time, Riley, I am moving into the same building as Y/N, not in with her."

"Still! You barely know the bird." Simon tried to reason, watching König move about the room, making sure he didn't leave anything of importance behind.

"I know enough Simon, enough to get me out of this linen closest next to your snoring ass."

"It's not that bad!"

"Simon; these walls are cement, why can I hear you breathing? Got yourself a real problem. Should get that checked out asap."

Ghost rolled his eyes and König chuckled. "Just so you know I am taking over your room as soon as you leave base. More room for me then! No take backs' either!"

"Have it big man, I'll see you around."

You weren't just some woman he just met, not a toy like Johnny liked to call his little bunk bunnies. You were his girlfriend, still a shocker to say it out loud. König has a little lady of his own.

The move in was easy, he'd ordered a new bed online. He slept at your place until it came, as a housewarming gift, you got him his first candle of the season and silk pillowcases that you absolutely swore by.

You two tested it out, bouncing on it after an impromptu pillow fight that landed you in his lap. His eyes never left yours as you tossed one of the pillows away, sitting on him.

"Is this okay?" You asked and must've seen the twitch on his faintly scarred bottom lip.

"You're perfect." His breath came out lighter than usually, had more of soft ring to it.

Your pretty face lit up, practically glowing before leaning down to kiss him. Gently, touching his face, over his arms, his hands finding purchase on your hips. He breathed you in, molding himself to you.

"Open your mouth baby."

He groaned and listened, the feeling of your tongue slipping into his mouth. Tangling together, the noises you made were fantastic, rolling your hips against his. One hand moved up under your shirt, feeling your back, you wiggled further into him.

Baby still sounded so foreign, he had never been one to be made to feel small. Hell, he was 5'11 in the fifth grade! But the way you sighed it or moaned it, he did feel softer. Lighter.

König boldly sat up, holding you close and pulled back, looking over your spit slicked lips. "Take off your clothes." Even bolder still, he held your eye contact. Your left eye twitched.

"Are you sure?"

It was his turn to cup your face, tilting his head, brushing his lips over yours. "Ja, I want to. I want to do this with you."

"Color system?"

"Ja, sounds good to me."

Like a sly fox, you backed your way out of his lap, standing between his legs. He watched you undress, peeling down your leggings one at a time. A glimpse of your lace red underwear. You then peeled your top off. Oh dear, it was a matching set! König licked his lips, his heart going to battle with his ribcage as you grinned and climbed back into his lap. His favorite shade.

"It's your lucky night baby. I just picked these out last night."

"You planned to show me these ? How did you know I would be ready?"

"I didn't!" He watched your heaving chest, breasts so close to his face he could smell your sweat and perfume, intoxicating him further. "I just knew I wanted to buy it to wear for you."

"You are going to be the death of me. You look like a dream."

"I'm a real vision, huh?" You chuckled and kissed him again.

He couldn't believe this was finally happening, you took your time. Letting him slide down the straps of your new bra, mouthing over your neck and collar. You huffed out a breath and unclasped it, peeling it away to expose your upper half.

"You alright?" You asked, he went deaf for a moment looking at your tits, right in front of his face. He blinked blearily up at you, hands on his shoulders.

"Again, my dear, you are perfect." He cupped them, urged on by your hands over his own, giving them a squeeze. You inhaled his name when he leaned forward, taking an already pebbled nipple into his mouth. Lapping at the taste of you, your hands in his hair as he tasted your skin. He treated the other same, indulging as he went on.

"Green?" He asked and you nodded.

He rolled you onto your back, his pants were getting uncomfortable and he soon felt overly dressed. His room was bare, save for the new bed and sheets, a sturdy nightstand and his belongings still mostly in those duffels but it felt right. To have you here, reaching out for him once he was out of his pants.

Your legs opened for him, fitting himself in between there, rocking side to side to fit.

"Condoms?"

"I have some in the nightstand." König reached over you, fumbled around for a bit until he grabbed the unopened box.

"This should be plenty."

You rolled your head over to see a larger than expected box, giggling beneath him. "You planning on a marathon there, tiger? Goodness!"

"Well I wanted to be prepared! Is that so wrong?"

"No, cutie. I'm just givin' you shit is all," you brushed back his hair, looking at him so sweetly, moving your hips just so, the lace of your underwear felt disgustingly good against the crotch of his boxers. "Do you want me to suck you off first?"

He went rigid, the thought of your beautiful mouth on his dick, laced with spit and pre-cum, slipping in and out of your mouth… he was grateful in that moment that he had decided to jerk off in the shower that morning. Can't be running around with you with a loaded gun.

"Maybe after." König sucked in a breath when you slipped a hand between your bodies, groping over his groin, rock fucking hard for you. "I'm so ready for you I think I might bust from that alone."

"What an ego boost." You breathed out, low and full of lust. He'd never heard you sound like that and it was because of him. Because he made you feel that way, desire licked behind your eyes and you bit your lip. "You are so hard right now!"

"I'm always hard for you." König admitted, kissing you, enjoying your hands in his hair, tugging lightly at his scalp. He hoped you would do it a little harder once he was finally inside you.

With a grin you dug your nails into his shoulder, "Whenever you're ready, tiger. I'm all yours."

König eagerly rubbed you through your panties, wetness forming on the pads of his fingers, circling your clit like you had taught him a few weeks ago. He moved them aside as you kissed, gasping into your mouth when you moved a bit, his weight on you welcomed with wide and open arms.

You tugged at his shirt. "Take this off, baby. Wanna' see you."

"Uh it's a little iffy under there." König hung his head against your own.

"Baby," you crooned rubbing your thumbs over his chin. "I want all of you. You're safe with me, remember?"

"There's just a lot goin' on under this shirt." His laugh held little to no humor, scars of old, past battles.

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, my dear. I just… only my company has seen me shirtless. Their used to what messes can be made in combat."

"Well," you started. "It's up to you, but I'm telling you right now, I will love all of your stripes. No matter where they came from."

König couldn't kiss you harder or fast enough, fucking his tongue into your mouth would soon become a favored past time, he thought. You whined against him, wrapping your hands around his thick forearms. He gave your pussy a few taps, mewling into his wanting mouth.

He pulled down your panties, your little feet kicking them away so you lay naked beneath him, panting and begging for him. Pleading. He leaned heavy to one side, shimming out of his boxers, tore open and rolled the condom on like he'd practiced. He panted above you, blue eyes taking in your pretty face, fuck you were pretty. And his lady. And next thing he knew he was grabbing at the back of his t-shirt, yanked it off his head.

"You want all of me, ja?"

"Yes baby, every inch."

He groaned at that and like so many videos he's watched in his lifetime, been told tall tales, Soap's escapades, Simons' late nights, Horangi's notch list, Prices' black book, he lined himself up with your leaking entrance.

"Green?" He dare ask.

You answered with a smile and a nod.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head at the first plunge, he took time to let you adjust to his size. He knew he was thick, didn't want to hurt you at all. God forbid. You whined and looked down at where he was ever so carefully inching inside you, your pussy so warm and tight and he thanked fuck again that he had gotten one off before this. This was incredible, being inside you, becoming one, jointed together.

"Oh baby, yes!" You keened, lifting your legs to rest at his ribs, knees digging into the bones.

"Oh fuck you feel…this is… holy shit ja. Fuck this is good, so so good."

König had to adjust himself several times, listening to your body, watching your expressions, your words. The way you arched into his touch, his hands groping over you thighs, kissing your neck, beginning to thrust, lightly, into you. He still took his time but fucks sake, he'd never felt this good in his life.

"Fuck yes, ho-how do you feel baby?" You asked, rubbing his arms that caged you in, locking fingers together as you moved with him.

"I feel like I could fight god."

"And win-- oh hah fuck, oh whatever you're doing keep doing that!"

Your laugh turned into a cry out, you raised your head again watching him pump himself inside you, stroke after stroke you took his thick cock like a champ. You moved one hand down and started rubbing your clit, matching moan for moan with you, the sounds of your sex pounded in both of your ears. He grunted your name, holding the crown of your skull, hissed through his teeth, squeezed his eyes shut as you came with a shout.

"You're so pretty so fucking pretty, my dear."

"Oh my god you feel so good, I want you. I want you so badly."

"You 'ave me, all of me."

Your hands on his skin, touching his scars, vulnerable but willing. Giving and taking, his throbbing cock was driving you mad. You whimpered, tossing your head from side to side, biting your fingers when he pulled out, smearing your mixed arousal over your cunt. He even tapped it a few times before slipping back in with a low groan.

"Ohhh tiger, fuck this is good. Should've done this sooner."

"You sound so pretty too, Oh fuck-- can you, can you pull my hair a little."

A fucked out grin greeted him in between kisses, grabbing up at his reddish hair.

You licked your lips, his chin, your free hand reaching up and wrapping around his throat was so nice, he actually whined.

"Oh baby, you are fucking me so good. You were made for me, huh? Huh, tiger? Hollowing me out, making room for you inside my pussy? I am so wet I can hear it. Can you hear how good you're making me feel? Oh my god."

"Oh fuck!"

You were right, the squelching, the slap of skin on skin, how desperate you two were for one another was downright perverse. He could feel you pulsing, pulling him in like the tide. You fucked your tongue into his mouth, praising him, calling him good, telling him how you felt, what you needed a little bit more of. Yanking his hair, scraping over his back.

"Again! Oh god König, make me cum again! Fuck yeah."

And he did. He pulled out and spat on his own cock before bullying it right back into you, he knocked your hand away and used the techniques you'd shown him to assault your clit. He was mesmerized by you body, writhing and rolling for him, grabbing his head at one point to stare into his eyes.

Another condom spent, you on top of him, rocking down onto him, holding on to his shoulders. When you threw your head back he latched on to your breast, holding the other, toying with your nipple. You grabbed his hair again, almost forcing him to keep going as you cried out in pleasure.

"Well baby, how do you feel?" You asked after the third round, laying on your side, out of breath, your eyes blown out, body radiating from adrenaline.

"Incredible," König faced you, head lulling over on the divine silk pillow case. He grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles. "I think I am falling in love with you."

You hiccupped a sort of laugh, he felt a little cheesy saying until you patted his face.

"Oh baby, I'm already there."

"You love me?"

"Mhmm."

König was over the fucking moon, moving too quickly he kissed you.

"Ich liebe dich."

"I love you too."

Without discussion he got up and grabbed another condom. "One more round couldn't hurt."

You laughed your way into his arms, rolling his weight on top of you once more.

Tagging: @nepomami @powerfultenderness @weallhaveadestiny

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Precious Truths: Part 14

Fandom: Bridgerton

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x F!Reader

Summary: After your father finds out you’ve been writing under a male pseudonym, he threatens to marry you off to an atrocious man unless you find yourself a husband within a month’s time.

A/N: yall i still can't believe sophie is asian. im so frickin happy dude. yerin is gonna be amazing. i just know it. anyway, enjoy!

Series Masterlist

You hide behind your hand as you snort with laughter. Benedict is beaming beside you. Hearing your laughter again makes his heart soar.

After your mother-in-law granted permission for his visitation, he immediately prepared himself for the trip to France. He was excited to see you, but he was also nervous. Therefore, he dragged Eloise with him. His younger sister wasn't in the mood to witness another pair of lovesick fools, however, she had never been to France. So she took up the opportunity to regardless. At the moment, a part of her regrets accompanying her brother.

"Hang on, how did you not know she was married?" Eloise asks Benedict.

"I never saw her wear a ring and her home didn't seem like a man lived in it!"

You chuckle, shaking your head, "How is it you always find yourselves in such situations, Ben?"

"Because he is an idiot, Y/N," Eloise responds and you laugh. Your laughter even brings a smile on Eloise's face, "Sorry to change the subject, but I hope you have been well, Y/N."

You softly smile at the young woman you always saw as a sister, "I'm getting better, Eloise. It definitely helps that you and Ben are here," you rest a hand on Benedict's and Eloise's, "Your company was very much needed."

"Always here to help," Benedict says softly.

"You didn't say long you'll be staying here for."

"Madame Montclair has allowed us a week, unless you grow tired of us."

You scoff, "I will never grow tired of you, Ben," realizing what you said you add, "And you, Eloise! Don't tell your siblings, but you two are probably my favorite Bridgertons."

Eloise hums, "Oh, please, Y/N. We already knew that," she bumps your shoulder with a cheeky grin and you two giggle.

Benedict watches as you and Eloise discuss your current works. Every once in a while, you'd turn to him and ask him a question. And every time your eyes fall upon him, the world goes quiet and he feels at ease.

________________________

Benedict gets along well with your mother and father-in-law. They, too, are fond of the arts and are in deep conversation with Benedict and his time at the academy here in France.

You can't help but feel a sense of pride fill you as Monsieur and Madame Montclair laugh at Benedict's jokes, praise him for his successes, and, overall, displays an openness to him. However, James had told you that is just how your mama and papa have always been. Good people.

Their relationship often makes you think if that's how your parents would have turned out if your mama hadn't passed early on. Would your father still love and care for you? Would he be happy and proud of your success as a writer?

The thought of him made you lose your appetite. You place your fork and knife down with a frown, immediately bringing you to the attention of papa.

"Are you alright, ma fille?"

"I apologize, I've suddenly lost my appetite. Is it alright if I step outside for a moment?"

Mama nods, "Yes, of course. Shall one of us go with you?"

"I will be alright. It'll just be for a moment, excuse me." You look to Ben with a nod and then to Eloise. Everyone watches as you exit the dining room.

Benedict clears his throat, "Forgive me if this seems inappropriate, but how has Y/N been doing from your perspective?" he asks the older couple, "She's only told me that she has her good days and bad days, but nothing truly more than that."

Madame Montclair sighs, dabbing at her lips with her napkin, "It is true. Much like my husband and I, Y/N feels as though she has accepted her life without James. Other days, it's hard to even go about her day without being stricken with grief. But as the months have come and gone, I think she is slowly healing. Her desire to go back out into the world becoming stronger and stronger. She will be going back to London after your visit."

Benedict and Eloise look at each other in surprise, "She hadn't told us that yet."

"Ah. Well, I apologize for that. I'm sure she was going to tell you. But I do think it's good that you two are here. I can already see she's happier."

Benedict softly smiles and nods, "Yes, well, my sister and I care a great deal about Y/N."

"That much is very clear, Mister Bridgerton," Monsieur Montclair says, "And I hope when she returns to London, you continue to care for her. We, too care a great deal about her." The older man gives a stern look to Benedict, one like a father scolding a son.

Benedict nervously clears his throat, "Yes, of course, sir."

_______________________

You're sitting on a bench outside, letting the air cool you. You're not sure how long you've been out there, but Benedict comes out with concern etched all over your face. He sits beside on the bench, hand grabbing yours to warm them, "Are you alright?" he asks, using his breath to warm your now cold fingers.

You sigh, "Yes. I'm sorry to leave dinner like that."

"It's fine. I just want to know what happened."

"Just watching James' parents made me think of my own. They made me wonder if, had mama not died, would they end up like that? Happy and proud of me? Would papa still love me and admire my work rather than scold me and cast me aside?"

Benedict squeezes your hand, "I understand. I, too, often think about how life would be if my father didn't pass. But I think it's best not to dwell on those things. If you get too caught up in it, you miss out on the wonderful things that are happening now right in front of you."

You hum, looking down at your fingers intertwined with Benedict's, "My aunt once told me after my mama passed, that in death, there is life. New beginnings. I suppose she is right. After mama's death, started my desire to publish my writings. With James' death, he brought you back into my life." You stare into Benedict's eyes, seeing how soft they are as they look back at you.

You find yourself leaning closer and Benedict is too, "Ben-"

"Everything alright?" you hear Eloise as she approaches and you two immediately create some distance between each other.

You clear your throat and look over your shoulder, "Yes! We were just about to head back inside."

"Very well. Make haste, it's cold out!"

___________________________

Your almost kiss with Benedict kept you up that night. You've been mentally scolding yourself for your weak resolve. He had only been staying with you for a few days and you are already throwing yourself at him. Your heart has always been weak when it came to Benedict. Even after falling in love with James, your love for him never compared to the love you had for Benedict. You always knew this.

However, it hasn't been a year since James had passed and you're already moving on with another man. You can't in good conscience do such a thing to James like that, even if he already knew how your heart had always belonged to Benedict.

Still. You need to control yourself around Benedict no matter how much your heart yearns for him.

[diana-bluewolf]

It’s this blog's first birthday! 🥳 Wanted to gather some of my fav drawings and thoughts about being in the fandom.

Being in a fandom is not always easy, but it is definitely worth it. 

1. It’s a perfect soft-skill trainer. It teaches me to focus on what I can control (like my reactions) rather than what I can’t (other people’s opinions). To be myself and not be ashamed of my interests. To stop overthinking and just enjoy the process. To accept imperfection as an inevitable part of any art…and myself. To stop comprehending the terms ‘self-indulgent’ and ‘cringe’ as synonyms. To prioritise my own well-being to avoid burn-out. And most importantly, not to cringe at my art I posted a day ago 🤣

2. It's a powerful therapy tool. I mean, have you tried to write an OC? Poor things, I don't envy them, but it turned out to be a perfect instrument to understand my own head's wiring better. It's like my subconscious is speaking to me through my OC's actions. I started this blog at one of the most challenging times in my life (let's just say that characters with external and internal scars appeal to me on a personal level. Not to be dramatic. Ok, I am, sorry, it's my only flaw), and it affected Chris severely, to the extent that I couldn't even imagine it would. But all the insights I got about myself via him are priceless. 

3. It’s the best source of inspiration. I had been in the art block for years, but seeing your guys cool art reignited my desire to draw. It was difficult (to say the least) to start posting amateur art about my MC on the blog that was followed for the screenshots of the popular characters, but I’m glad I did because, in another case, I would have never met some of my friends here. My art style is inconsistent as I keep experimenting, so some of my drawings are way better than others, but I’m still growing and proud of it. 

4. And most importantly, it's brought me together with some of the coolest people in my life. I'm so grateful to everyone who follows/followed me. Thank you so much for your support now or in the past, even if you just lurk. If you regularly appear on my notifs, I do recognise you and am very grateful. Even if I don't always respond - sorry, it's just because my social battery is often very low. I'm the most introverted introvert irl, even though I don't seem like one here. I'm training to overcome my social anxiety here, can you tell? 🤣 

Here I wanted to write something about my moots, but…Well, I have no idea how to continue whatever I had intended to write because just a thought of you all got me terribly overwhelmed with warm fuzzy feelings 😑 I blame you, guys 😤 So I will just write that I love you, but know this is an understatement.

Love this fandom, its creativity and all the incredibly talented and supportive people here. You guys are the best 🤗

[obae-me]

I saw your post about the characters with a traumatized MC and the part about the angels made me start thinking about how they'd handle an MC who has religious trauma (because I thought that was where it was going in your post)

MC avoiding Simeon and Luke because everything related to heaven creeps them out (they're legit scared of angels, god, etc) and feeling way too comfortable living in the devildom and being around demons because they "always knew they were going to end up in hell when they died" because that's what was hammered into their head growing up or something

that would sure change the cast's views on human religion huh?

Yes, absolutely. I can't remember if I mentioned it before or just kept that brainworm tucked safely inside my skull, but I think about this a lot. Namely, because I have SO much religious trauma (yippie!).

I've thought a lot about how the Celestial Realm harbors a lot of the same toxicity that certain organized religions have the tendancy to exhibit here on good ol earth. I mean, we've seen some things in game that suggest that things aren't all rainbows and roses up there. The way that Luke talks early game suggests a lot. And so I'm sure a religiously traumatized MC would have SUCH a hard time around the angels at first. (I actually had my own reservations with the angels when they were first introduced and I even kind of disliked Luke a ton before I eventually took a step back and thought about the fact that he's just a BABY who is just spitting out ideals that were shoved into his head. It's not his fault, and I think his character development is something that the fandom does not address enough. I'm so proud of him!! Having your expectations of the world be broken and then having to relearn everything you thought you knew is actually SO hard.)

MC getting along well or feeling more comfortable with demons because they don't feel like they're being judged or under the watchful eyes of others.

MC talking about "not being as afraid to come back" VERY early on in game and the other characters taking WAY too long to realize they mean come to purgatory after they pass, and the demons themselves don't feel good about knowing that.

MC avoiding certain sins/pleasures/temptations due to the fear that's been embedded in them over it. Even if those things are COMPLETELY normal and harmless to enjoy.

All of the characters being extremely patient and understanding about this sort of thing and very slowly chipping away at certain stigmas they still hold onto, making the human feel safe while they do.

MC avoiding Simeon because of mixed feelings of shame and maybe a bit of resentment and then eventually learning that he's actually such a down to earth and sweet guy and spending more time with him just to learn that he's been in many similar situations is so...so good to think about. Learning that he'll never force certain ideologies onto them, that he doesn't see them as someone who needs to be "saved". A human and an angel sitting together and discussing what being "good" really means. Sharing confessions to each other that they've both held on their backs for such a long time because they've been too ashamed of themselves and confused to heal from it alone. They're not a sinner and a Saint, they're just normal people who make mistakes and want to do good in the world.

I do have many thoughts on this clearly...

[five-bi-five-mind]

request where you’re rossi’s daughter and work for the BAU and you and emily start dating but keep it a secret until you get hurt on the job and she won’t leave your side and saying that she loves you and when you wake up she kisses you in front of the team and everyone is like, “yes!!” and rossi is just confused

Overprotective

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt & Comfort

Words: 7k+

Summary: Ever since you and Emily entered a relationship, she got a little too protective of you. It didn't help that she was also your boss, but still you didn't love that she was holding you back from doing your job. It also didn't help that your father figure worked with you, that was two people holding you back from your job. So when you finally put your foot down with Emily and got out in the field once more, none of you expected what would happen next...

Warnings: Blood mention; hospital scenes; mentions of car accidents; mentions of head trauma.

A/N: I'm so bad at descriptions... Anyways, this is my own take on the request. And also proud of myself for kinda posting three fics back to back. This one is a lil late but still one a day so far. Yayyyy 1k celebration continues lol

Emily was an overworrier. She always had been, but when it came to you.. well, she took things to a whole new level.

To say she was protective of you was an understatement and honestly it caused some tension in your relationship. She had been in the BAU far longer than you, but you were an agent too and had been for a few years now. Either way, even if Emily was your girlfriend, in the workplace she treated you like a rookie. 

Most of the team just thought she was hard on you. No one really knew that you two were a little more than colleagues. It hasn’t even been long since you two realized you had feelings for each other, but as soon as you did everything just clicked. You both fell fast and hard to say the least. 

And in that time Emily got more and more protective. There were some curious eyes, people had their suspicions. One person in particular changed the way he looked at your interactions and any time he was near, it made your palms sweat and your stomach twist. Rossi was always one to keep a close eye on you. He was protective too, just like Emily, if not even more so. It wasn’t like you could blame either of them though. 

Rossi was the closest thing to a father you ever knew; he watched you grow up and make your way to your position at the BAU. He never pulled strings, he never asked for favors. Rossi made it clear that you earned this position and everyone who worked with you saw just how true that was. So of course, he was a proud and protective man when it came to you. Just as Emily was a proud and protective girlfriend.

But as you and Emily got closer you could tell it piqued his interest. He would linger in a room if you two were left behind by the rest of the team. He'd stop and peek around a corner if he saw Emily get a little too close when she needed to discuss a case. You weren’t blind either, you were trained to notice things and you definitely noticed the way his brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what was going on.

He even asked you about it once, approaching you with innocent curiosity to which you tried your best to shrug off.

His question was simple, he had you trapped in a car as he was driving you home so his timing was perfect. You literally couldn’t avoid him without jumping out. So when he said “do you want to tell me what’s going on between you and Emily?”  All you could think to answer was “it’s complicated” and, yeah, that was true. 

Luckily for you he just gave you a skeptical “alright, kid.” Before turning his attention back to the road. The amount of relief you felt when he didn’t pry any further was immense. 

You told Emily that night over the phone that he questioned you and she tried her best to keep her distance from you in public ever since. The overprotectiveness was still there, but so was this awkward silence that happened whenever another member of the team was alone with the two of you.

Not only was Emily’s overprotective nature a problem, but now so was all this secretiveness. Something which you point blank told Emily needed to change. She was hesitant, worried about how it may look for both of you, but especially you. The man who raised you was on your team and now you were dating the boss. Yeah, some people might point to nepotism, but your work spoke for itself. Plus, the team knows and respects you enough to understand that wasn’t the case. 

Emily still refused and insisted you both wait a bit longer, to which you begrudgingly agreed. You didn’t love being a secret but you also weren’t about to leave the woman you were head over heels for just because of a tricky situation. 

So when you agreed to wait you still let Emily know you both couldn’t hide forever. Her overprotective nature would get her busted, or Rossi would see something he shouldn’t, or hell maybe another member of the BAU would put the pieces together. Both of you were, after all, surrounded by profilers. It was everyone’s job to be perceptive. 

Emily still exuded confidence when she said she was sure it would happen on both of your terms. Of course, not everything is that simple. Especially not after today. 

—————————————————————-

This case was brutal. Many people had gotten injured in their past pursuit of the unsub and each time the unsub slipped away. The team had been on this case longer than most and was following as best they could. 

You were deep in this case too, following every development and giving your insight as best you could. Emily was not happy. She insisted you stay back at the police station you were helping rather than be out in the field. Even more, she had tried to convince you to stay all the way back at Quantico, but of course that wasn't going to fly. You won that fight by convincing Emily if you stayed back her exaggerated concern for your safety would be evident and people would get suspicious. She was frustrated, but she agreed. 

But even then as you two made your way to the precinct for this case, you both argued back and forth. Emily begged you to stay still and work behind the scenes, but you weren’t going to do that when the rest of the team was putting themselves in direct danger. That included both Emily and Rossi. 

“It’s not like you wouldn’t be helping! We need a member there, to keep an eye on what comes in.” Emily was so stubbornly insistent. 

“Okay, but that’s what the general police force is for.” You tried your best to stand your ground. “I’m going out in the field with the rest of you, Emily. I’m tired of being sidelined, because you don’t think I’m capable.” 

“It’s not that!” Emily’s voice was raised as she tried to defend her position. Lucky for the both of you, this fight escalated in the privacy of your own hotel room. One that you very sneakily and strategically booked right next to Emily and no one else. “Even Rossi would say this is a bad idea.”

“Don’t bring Rossi into this! Of course, he’d say that he’s almost as bad as you are.” Saying Rossi would back anything up for Emily was just another sign that your girlfriend and your father figure were way too protective of you. It was starting to get very old very fast. “You know, Emily, this whole protective girlfriend thing is really not working out if it’s also interfering with my work here as part of the team.” 

“What are you saying?” Emily looked at you with skepticism in her eyes. You knew you were taking this argument one step further, but you couldn’t help it. 

“I’m saying that if we’re to have a relationship this has to be an equal partnership.” Emily was full on glaring at you now, but you weren’t finished. “We can’t have that if you shield me from everything like a child!” 

“I am not shielding you!” Emily threw back with clear frustration written all over your face. 

“Yes, Emily, you are.” 

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” Emily’s frustration dropped immediately at that and you almost felt sorry for the way you were putting your foot down. She looked vulnerable at that moment and genuinely concerned. You knew she was; you knew the thought of anything happening to you killed her because it did the same for you when you thought about her being in direct danger. Still, you were part of the team and you needed to pull your weight. You were not going to be sidelined just because you were the boss’ girlfriend. 

“I know that,” you sighed. “But you have to trust that I’m capable of taking care of myself while we work. It’s part of the job. I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t.” 

“It’s not that I don’t trust you.”

“Then what is it? Really, Emily, what is it?” You felt that frustration bubble up in you again. “If it’s about worrying if I’d get hurt, don’t you think I have that same worry about you? But I don’t try to convince you to stay back. If you really trust my abilities as part of this team you wouldn’t be so up in arms about the idea of me actively working on this case. So do you? Do you really trust me as a member of this team?” 

“I do, but…” Emily trailed off. That “but” said it all for you and you just nodded. It told you she didn’t think you were as capable as the rest of the team, as skilled. You worked your ass off to get here and even your own girlfriend didn’t think you were ready for this position. That stung. 

“I think you should go,” you nodded towards the door to your hotel room. “I need time alone.”

Emily went to speak but stopped herself when you gave her a pleading look to at least respect your need for space. She looked almost like a sad puppy with her head hung low as she walked out the door. 

It wasn’t a great way to end the night, and the tension between you two was certainly palpable throughout the rest of the day. That is, until the accident happened. 

—————————————————————

No one saw it coming. How could they? The MO of the unsub was calculation, even when backed into a corner. So when the team got so close they found the unsubs home and you got the call to come quick, no one expected him to take off full speed in a hijacked car. And what was worse was the lack of eyes on where he went as he sped through a suburb to escape. 

You were riding shotgun while Alvez swerved the car around and whipped through the streets upon being informed that the unsub was on the run. What you were looking for was a man on foot, not even aware of his hot wiring abilities. So when a car rammed straight into the passenger side of Alvez’s SUV at top speed, shock flooded both your systems right before everything went dark.  

When you regained consciousness, if you could even really say that you did, all you heard were sirens and yelling. Hands were yanking at you and with each moment they jostled you, sharp pain shot through your entire body. There were sounds of gurgled coughs that hit your ears closer than the yelling that surrounded you and eventually, as you felt warm liquid drip from your lips, you realized those sounds were coming from you. The taste of iron in your mouth mixed with the horrible pounding of your head was making you nauseous.

Your eyes cracked open, but everything around you was a blur. You managed to turn your head, wincing in pain at that simple movement, and saw who was tugging at you. Even if your vision was severely hindered, you knew who it was.

When the accident happened, most of the team wasn’t far behind, leaving everyone chasing the unsub watch helplessly as he smashed into the car Alvez drove. When that happened, Emily made a mad dash out of her own SUV straight to where you were. Now, Emily was trying her best to tug the seat belt strapped to your body, her hands trying to check your whole torso. Your eyes moved to her hands, your head lulling further down with your gaze than you meant to move it as you tried to look. The blurred form of her fingertips were covered in a crimson red and it just confirmed your suspicion that you were losing blood. 

“Hold on, just– Just hold on, okay?” Emily’s voice felt like an echo in a tunnel, so far away from you. Still, though it only faintly hit your ears, you could hear her worry. Your heart squeezed, knowing that you were somehow the cause. You tried to will your hands to cover hers, not sure if they were actually moving for you like you wished. 

Emily stopped her frantic check of your body. “Help is coming soon, okay?” Her hands pressed to your face, your own blood smeared to your cheeks as she held your head up for you. “Stay with me, you have to stay with me. Keep your eyes open, okay?”

The words felt like they were getting further and further away, even if you were aware of the fingertips pressed to your cheeks. Your eyes squinted, as if you thought that would clear the fog that clouded your vision. It didn’t, but still you tried to hear Emily and to will yourself to listen. 

At this point, Emily’s hands were the only thing that was keeping your head from falling back. The strength to keep your eyes open and your head up was way too much for you. Your limbs were feeling heavier too, and your body was feeling cold, as if your veins turned to ice. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Emily’s voice was pleading. “Keep those eyes on me, okay love? Keep them on me.” They were slipping; you were slipping. You could feel the heaviness of your eyelids as you gave all your remaining strength to keep them open. 

In the distance, you thought maybe you could hear the sound of heavy footsteps rushing up towards the both of you. Hands were on you again, this time rougher, as the ones on your cheeks were pried away.

“Ma’am, step back,” a voice ordered. You didn’t hear a reply, the horrible jostling of your body had another anguished groan rip from your lips. A sob followed, but you thought it couldn’t possibly be you. Your body didn’t feel like it was capable of doing anything else other than succumb to the pain. Before you could feel your body be fully removed from the mangled car, your eyes slipped shut. The last thought you had was of Emily’s request and your guilt for not being able to fulfill it. Consciousness quickly slipped from your body the minute your eyes fell shut, your head finally falling back. 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was a mess. The way you looked, so broken and bleeding in that car had been forever burned into her brain. The last conversation she had with you was replaying through her mind as her foot anxiously tapped on the hospital’s dull white floors. 

Half the team sat next to her. Each one of them looked the exact same as her, just as worried. Rossi was going through many different stages of emotions. Anger at what had happened, denial that you could even possibly be teetering on the edge of death, and then worry that he might never see your bright smile again. 

The car had been totaled, your side crunched in with many different injures scattering your body. When the paramedics came they dragged you away so fast without giving Emily the chance to come with you. Luckily, Alvez wasn’t too badly injured, a mild concussion and some cuts from the broken glass. Minimal stitches needed, so Emily didn’t have to worry about it. It was you that she was spiraling over. She had never hopped in her car and sped faster than she did today. The worst thoughts were going through her head all the while. 

What would happen if you died before she got to the hospital? What would happen if you died on the table? The worry that ensnared her made her hands tremble as she sat and kept rubbing anxiously at her knuckles. 

Your blood still stained her clothes too, but she had long washed it off her fingertips. Tara had recommended she get a change of clothes from the hotel, but she had adamantly refused. To most of the team, they thought she was just feeling guilty for giving in to your insistence on being in the field. Although, how anyone, even Reid, could see this incident coming, would’ve been impossible. 

Another good thing, if Emily could even call it good, was that the accident incapacitated the unsub. This easily allowed Reid and JJ to apprehend him and make the arrest. Meanwhile, Emily was busy running to you and desperately trying to find some possible way to help you from dying right there in front of her. There was a lot of blood, a lot of glass that shattered and slashed through your skin on almost all of your body. From small cuts, to large ones, from the few moments she had with you, it looked pretty brutal. Not to mention, now that someone had talked to her once she arrived at the hospital, that there was internal bleeding and you had quite the head injury. 

They had rushed you into surgery the minute the EMTs made it in with your broken body. Emily was informed of everything first, then Alvez since he was already at the hospital getting checked out. Maybe about twenty minutes had gone by since Emily was informed about everything before Rossi came bursting in. 

Rossi was definitely on a warpath when he arrived too, his worry for you turning into anger. At first he blamed Alvez for not being a better vigilant driver, then Emily convinced him to turn his anger towards her. After all, she was the one who let you go out in the field, but then when Tara came in during his tirade towards Emily, she was the key to keeping the peace. She was surprisingly calming for everyone that waited at the hospital for you. With Rossi, she redirected his anger towards the unsub until he settled down into his quiet worry that he was currently exhibiting now. Then, with Emily, Tara just urged her to sit down before sitting right next to her.

When Tara saw the way Emily was angrily rubbing at the skin of her knuckles, she placed a gentle hand over Emily’s. “I know,” Tara spoke softly. “But she’s a fighter, you know that.”

Emily looked up at Tara as she spoke, her eyes searching the other woman’s. Tara looked back at her with a knowing look, but one that also showed conviction for her own words. 

All Emily could muster at that was a nod, but her words did help. Emily knew you were strong, even if she was doing a shitty job of showing you that she thought that. Truth is, she knew deep down that no one could have guessed that this would happen. She knew you were right, she couldn’t keep shielding you from everything if you were part of her team. It wasn’t like she could’ve ever tried to shield you from this. It could’ve happened to anyone, not just a member of her team. The worst part was that, of course, it had to happen to you. 

Even if she knew she couldn’t shield you from what happened, even if she understood that it could’ve been anyone’s car that the unsub rammed head first into, there was still a harrowing part of her that told her this was her fault. If she had listened to you and put you in the field maybe you would’ve been fine. It surely would guarantee you were in a different place than that damned car. You’d be with Reid and JJ, two other capable members of the team, and not in a car completely oblivious to the dangers that hit you head on before you even arrived. Emily knew she couldn’t think like that, but she couldn’t help that she did. Usually she was rational, collected, she had to be in her position. Except, she never thought she would fall for a co-worker and she certainly didn’t predict her overbearing need to protect you that came with all of it.

But now, as Emily sat and helplessly waited for any updates on you, she began to bargain with herself. If you pulled out of this Emily would never stop you from going out in the field again. It was clear that her actions to keep you safe by keeping you behind were futile, so if you were in the field at least you would be with other members of the team. Capable members who had your back the same way you wanted to have theirs. To agree with you and let you go out, if anything, would stop you from ever looking at her with such hurt and disappointment ever again. That look, when you kicked her out of your hotel room the night before, haunted her.

Emily refused to believe that could possibly be the last conversation you had with her, the last look she got from you. Usually, you looked at her with such love and joy, but this was different. Emily had spent that whole night, barely sleeping, her thoughts wrapped up in the way you looked so utterly betrayed. If that was her last conversation with you, how would you ever know that she did trust you, that she did know you were strong and capable? It was just that you were the most meaningful thing she’s ever had in her life and she was still learning how to handle that. But she would do better if you pulled through. You had to pull through so she could get the chance to do better.

Luckily for Emily, she was pulled out of her thoughts by a doctor approaching the group. Emily shot up immediately when she realized she was about to be approached with news on your condition. Her body stood rigid, her hands still trembling and balled into fists at her side. Tara put a reassuring hand on Emily’s shoulder and Emily took a deep, grounding breath, able to calm herself a bit with Tara’s supportive presence.

“How is she?” Emily’s voice sounded raw as she spoke. Tears hadn’t been shed since she was ripped from your crumpled body, as she had stopped herself before she entered the hospital. Yet she was still a wreck with how many emotions were flowing through her and with how hard she was being on herself. 

“She’s stable,” the doctor reassured. “We found the cause of the bleeding and now she’s in recovery.”

“Oh, thank god,” Emily breathed out. It felt like her whole body deflated, all the fear she was holding finally washing away. There was still guilt and worry there, but now she had more reassurance that you would be okay. 

“Can we see her?” Tara spoke up, her eyes flicking to Emily for a brief second before they turned back to the doctor. Emily looked back at Tara, knowing that Tara was asking the question for Emily rather than herself or the rest of the team. So, it seemed your worries were right, at least one member of the team noticed the two of you. Although, Emily didn’t really care at this moment. They could all know after this, Emily wasn’t ready to hide her care for you, not when she almost lost you. Screw anyone who was watching, Emily just needed to see you and somehow, Tara understood that. 

“Soon,” the doctor replied. “She’s being set up with a room. She’ll need to stay and be monitored for at least a few days.” 

Tara nodded at this. “Thank you, doctor,” she responded before turning back to Emily. “I’m going to go get you a change of clothes and something to eat for all of us, okay?”

“You don’t have to-” Emily was cut off by Tara’s gentle hand placed to her forearm. 

“I don’t think you want to leave right now.” Tara gave Emily a knowing smile. “Go tell Rossi and Alvez the news, I think I saw Rossi switch to pacing down that hall,” she pointed to where Rossi had waltzed off to. “And then text me with her room number. I’ll be back.”

“Thank you,” Emily whispered. Tara just nodded and turned, leaving Emily alone to grab the two others. When the news was broken to Rossi, his whole demeanor changed. Just like Emily, all the fear fled his body, and he was left to sit next to Emily and wait. 

It was silent between them all as they waited for an update on when they could see you. Emily was trying her best to sit as still as possible, what with Rossi glancing over at her every once in a while. His gaze was scrutinizing now, rather than angry, but Emily still wondered if he blamed her for the position you were in. 

When they were finally told they could go see you, Emily didn’t hide her anxious scurrying. It wasn’t a race, but if anyone who didn’t know them saw the way both Emily and Rossi hurried down the hospital halls, Alvez in tow, they’d think they were competing for first place. Rossi got their first, Emily backing off since she figured she already did enough to anger him for one day. After all, he was practically your father, he should be the one to confirm you were okay first. 

As he got into the room, Emily heard him take a deep breath before exhaling in relief. Emily, however, did not feel any relief when her eyes settled on your unconscious form. There were angry bruises across your skin on any part of your body that was visible to her. Bandages wrapped around random parts of your arms, some small ones stuck to your face. The way you looked almost lifeless had Emily swallowing hard. It was only the steady rhythm of your heart monitor that reassured her, you were still alive. 

Rossi seemed to be in way better spirits as he pulled up a hospital chair to your bed and placed his hand on yours. “That’s my girl,” he said to your sleeping form. “Knew you were a fighter.” 

Emily’s heart clenched at the love he was showing for you. More guilt flooded her mind as she watched him look at you with all the love a father would have for his daughter. Emily swallowed hard again, her nerves spiking for some reason as she took a few steps closer to your sleeping form. 

Alvez was kind enough to pull a chair closer to your hospital bed for both himself and Emily. They both sat at the opposite side of Rossi and Emily couldn’t help but keep her eyes glued to him for a minute. Part of her wondered, as she watched him gently stroke the top of your hand, if he’d ever accept her as your partner now. There was a suspicion he held for her since you started at the BAU and got closer to Emily that made her nervous to go public. She trusted Rossi with her life and she knew he felt the same, but did he trust her with you? Would he ever after this? 

Her eyes fell back down to your face, noticing a lock of your hair fallen on your cheek. With a shaking hand, Emily brushed the hair from your face, her fingertips brushing your skin as she did. Your face twitched for a moment and Emily retreated her hand, her body perking up. This was the first time you’ve moved. Another reminder that you were pulling through, Emily cherished that tiny twitch of your cheek like it held all the meaning in the world. No one else seemed to notice, but this small movement made Emily think touch might be the key to having you open your eyes. And, while Emily understood you needed time to wake up from the whole ordeal, she also so desperately needed to see you open her eyes. 

Unfortunately for her, you didn’t wake up any time soon. The remainder of the evening, you stayed asleep, something that the doctors reassured all of you was absolutely to be expected. For hours, Emily held one hand while Rossi held the other. Eventually, Tara came back with a change of clothes, to which Emily begrudgingly agreed to rip herself away from you and change. They were also all given food, to which Rossi and Alvez gladly took, but Emily refused. Tara opted to just leave it by her, in hopes she would feel up to eating soon. 

When it was becoming quite late, Tara, Alvez, and even Rossi planned to return to the hotel. However, Emily insisted on staying right there, in that chair, for the rest of the night. There was no way in hell you were going to wake up alone in that hospital room, she decided. Tara urged Emily to reconsider, saying she needed rest, but Emily insisted she would be fine sleeping right there on that hospital chair. Rossi remained quiet the whole time, eyeing the two of them discussing Emily’s decision, before Tara finally gave in and left with the others.

Emily didn’t really sleep, her eyes were glued to you the whole time. Her hand left yours, only to stroke your cheek as you slept. She whispered different things to you, talking about how much she loved you and how badly she felt. It was heartbreaking for her to sit here with you, even if you were going to be okay, there was still part of Emily that wouldn’t trust that until she could look into your eyes and hear your voice. 

When the sun rose and you still hadn’t opened your eyes, Emily’s anxiety was through the roof. A doctor eventually came in to check on you and as he did, Emily couldn’t stop the flood of questions she forced onto him about your condition. She was reassured over and over again this was to be expected, you’d wake up when you were ready, and that you were just fine as far as they knew. What she didn’t like hearing was the last comment, “we’ll know more when she’s awake.” As if there was some hidden threat to your health and wellbeing that none of the doctors knew yet. She dwelled on that thought for far too long. So long, in fact, that when afternoon came and the team all filed in to see you, she was still chewing on that piece of information.

Rossi, upon arrival, sat right back where he was the night before. This time a little more relaxed, his hands cradling a cup of coffee rather than your own like he did the night before. He seemed more confident, less shaken. Emily wished she could say the same about herself. 

When Tara came in to see you, she stopped next to Emily, her hand placed gently on yours with a pitying smile on her face as she looked down at your unconscious form. “You need to wake up soon,” she whispered to you. “Emily’s worried sick and I know you wouldn’t want her to worry.” Emily watched, knowing that you probably didn’t hear any of those words, but hearing Tara say them gave her an odd sense of reassurance that it was okay to be more open about her feelings for you. Maybe if Tara knew, the others did too. And if they didn’t, well at least it seemed like Tara was in Emily’s corner. 

“As for you,” Tara turned towards Emily. “Have you left this room?”

Emily looked up at Tara sheepishly. She was busted. Of course she hadn’t left. What if she missed it when you finally opened your eyes? Or worse. What if she missed it if your condition unexpectedly took a turn? 

“I’m sure you haven’t slept either,” Tara continued. “You need to at least eat something and maybe also walk around a little. It will be good for you.”

“I don’t want to leave her,” Emily insisted. “Not yet.”

“She’ll be right here when you get back.” This time it was Rossi who spoke. Emily was shocked at this, he hadn’t really said much to her since he blew up when you were in critical condition. Emily didn’t blame him for that, but she did think it would take awhile before he felt okay about her again. “She’s okay now, Emily. I wouldn’t have left if she wasn’t.” 

Rossi’s words hit Emily hard. It seemed like he knew more too, but Emily didn’t question it right now either. He would know eventually, especially after her behavior surrounding this ordeal. “Okay,” Emily’s voice broke as she spoke. “Okay, I could use some coffee.” 

Rossi nodded his approval and Emily stood on shaky legs. Her whole being screamed at her not to leave, but she knew she would be no help to anyone if she passed out from exhaustion. Plus, it did feel good to finally stretch her body after being hunched over you in that uncomfortable chair overnight. 

“But if anything happens,” Emily turned to speak again, “you call me immediately.” 

“Of course,” Tara reassured and Emily willed her legs again to move as she exited your room. 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emily hated to admit they were all right. It felt good to stretch her legs and as she made her way back from the hospital cafeteria, the taste of warm coffee was comforting. She was already exhausted, practically running on empty before any of the team had returned to your hospital room. Hopefully, the coffee would give her a much needed boost. Or, at the very least, keep her awake long enough to see you open your eyes again. She really hoped it would happen soon. At this point, with each passing minute, it was getting more painful to see your unconscious body lying barely patched together in that hospital room. 

What Emily didn’t expect was that she didn’t have to wait much longer. As she rounded the corner to your hospital room, she heard louder, more animated talking than when the team first arrived to see you. She thought it was curious and her steps hastened as she made her way to the room. When she got to the doorway, she stopped in her tracks, her coffee slipping from her hands. 

The coffee hit the floor with a splatter, causing everyone to pause and look over to her, but she didn’t care at all. Right in front of her, she finally saw you, barely sitting up, but still in a different position than she had left you. More importantly, as she took in your form, her eyes moving from where your body had shifted all the way up to your face, she saw them. Curious, open eyes peering back at her. The eyes of the woman she loved so much, finally open and looking straight at her.

“Oh, thank god,” Emily whispered, taking long strides towards you. She practically pushed Reid out of the way to get to you, and then Alvez too, who was standing right at your side. “You’re awake,” Emily exhaled as she stopped right next to your bed. Her body was moving without her even thinking. Trembling fingers pressed themselves to either side of your face, much like they had when she found you trapped and bleeding in that car. This time, with gentle care, despite all her haste, she turned your face to hers and pressed her lips against yours for a long, but gentle kiss. 

“You’re awake,” she mumbled against your lips. “You’re awake, you’re awake.” Her lips pressed to yours again and you weakly kissed back. As much as you wanted to kiss her with as much emotion as she was giving you, you were still a bit dazed from everything. Still, relief flooded your body when her lips pressed to yours. The first thought when you woke, and were told of what happened, was how angry Emily might be. After all, she had insisted you stayed back to keep from getting hurt. And here you were, in a hospital room, recovering from a major surgery as a direct result of getting hurt on the job. 

Emily left another lingering kiss on your lips. “I love you,” she whispered between soft kisses. “I’m so sorry, I love you.”

A throat was cleared in the room and Emily snapped out of her stupor. She pulled back, guilty eyes looking over to Rossi, but hands never leaving you, just dropping to rest on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Emily repeated, this time to the whole room. “It’s just-”

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” you interrupted Emily before she could spiral. Your voice was hoarse as you spoke, trying your best to clear it, you knew you had some apologies to make. “I should’ve listened and stayed behind. I am so sorry, Emily.”

At this point, you honestly weren’t going to hide anymore of your emotions from the group. The cat was already out of the bag, what with Emily striding in, kissing you, and declaring her love for you in front of everyone. Plus, you were stuck hooked up to an IV and other odd wires, so you couldn’t move. It was rude to kick everyone out of the hospital room so you two could talk, but this couldn’t wait. She had to know how sorry you were.

“I know I worried you,” you continued. 

Emily was shaking her head furiously. “No, it’s not your fault and you’re right. I’m too overprotective.”

“That’s an understatement,” you heard Alvez snort from the back of the room. 

Emily turned back to glare, the tension in the room leaving when a few others chimed in with a chuckle. Now that you were awake, it was like everyone was able to breathe out. You seemed fine, the doctor that Tara grabbed when she noticed your eyes flutter open, promised you were fine. Emily was probably going to need a lot of convincing before she could truly trust that you were fine. Especially since she was out getting coffee when the doctor came, but it seemed some of her tension was even finally leaving. 

The whole group talked for a little bit, with Emily seated by your side again. Her hand gently and carefully trailed over your arm as all of you spoke. When requesting water, both Emily and Rossi jumped at the chance to get it for you. It was honestly a little endearing to see them act like this, but you couldn’t stop the roll of your eyes when Rossi beat her to get up and fetch a nurse for your request. 

When water was brought to you, Emily helped you sit up, a strong hand on your back as you winced while trying to move. The flash of pain in your face didn’t go unnoticed by Emily and a large frown was written on her face as she brought the cup of water to your lips. Rossi stayed silent, his eyes glued to the two of you, switching back and forth from watching your face and Emily’s.

“I figured it out yesterday,” he finally broke his own silence. “So, you and Emily are together then?”

You nodded hesitantly, Emily’s hand withdrawing from you for a moment in hesitation. 

“I knew there was something. How long have you two…” Rossi trailed off, letting either of you put a label to what you two were, not wanting to be too presumptuous himself.

“Oh!” Reid chimed in. “We have bets on- oof!” He was cut off by a strong elbow to the rib from Alvez, effectively shutting himself up. 

“Maybe about a month since I started at the BAU,” you said sheepishly, looking back at Rossi like you were a child who just got busted for cutting class. In the back of the room, you heard some whispering between some of the team, a couple of disappointed voices in who was wrong and who was right. It didn’t matter what they were saying though, both you and Emily had your eyes glued to Rossi, waiting for any sort of reaction.

His brow furrowed for a minute, a small frown playing on his lips. It was embarrassing that the heart monitor was giving away the increase in your heart rate, but no one seemed to comment.

“I wish you would’ve told me sooner,” Rossi finally sighed. “But if anyone were to date you,” he looked up at the two of you, “I’m glad it’s you, Emily. You’ll take good care of her.”

Emily nodded, her hand squeezing your arm where it rested. She looked down at you and you met her eyes, seeing all of the love she had for you fill them the instant they met. It seemed that everyone had approved of the two of you. Emily honestly felt a little silly and even more guilty about trying to keep the relationship a secret, but she also had never felt more relief in her life.

You were okay. The team and, more importantly, your father figure, knew about the two of you. Rossi was right, she would take care of you. She would make sure she didn’t hold you back, and she knew she still had some making up to do from that last fight in your hotel room, but she would do better. She had the second chance and you didn’t seem upset about it all. Instead, you both were just relieved to have each other. When you were healed and ready to get back to work, you both would talk, but Emily promised herself she would find a way to trust your capability a little more. You, meanwhile, promised yourself you would find more patience and understanding for her worry over you. 

This whole situation was terrifying for everyone involved, but you and Emily had to admit that you grew from it. As you regained your strength, your body wasn’t the only thing healing and strengthening. Your relationship was healing from the fight too and your love for each other, now that it was out in the open, was stronger than ever.

Taglist: @geekyandgay98 @desperate-gay @finleyfray @natashamaximoff69 @high--power @demonicbaby666 @storiesofsvu

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[fangswbenefits]

getting this off my chest

I really, really love writing for this fandom.

I think I haven't felt like this in years.

Astarion is such an enticing vessel for my creativity and has rekindled my joy for writing and putting it out there.

Alas, imposter syndrome really gnaws at my nerves more often than I care to admit.

"But Ruby, you have so many people who like your work. Why do you doubt yourself?"

Because I grew up being told I was never enough. That I was the worst at what I did best, which back then was learning English and surrounding myself in the language, hence why I sought comfort in fanfiction.

My sister, whom I love dearly, is an English teacher. She would be so harsh on me, and I know she meant well. She really did. But it was so hard back then. I would come to her with creative writing in English and she would just roll her eyes and tell me I wasn't good enough.

Nowadays, she acknowledges that I am more proficient than her and more at ease with the language, and even tells my nephew to study English with me instead.

But back then, I needed someone to believe I could do better.

So, there is a part of me that is proud that I am able to deal with real-life fatigue by writing and finding enjoyment in this hobby. But a much darker part of me tells me I'm not worthy and that I simply got lucky.

The Arrangement means a lot to me. I tend to dive right into fandoms and start writing for the character that caught my eye.

But I couldn't do that for Astarion... I am still unsure why. For those of you who have been here from my Miguel O'Hara days or when I first started posting about Astarion, you'll know The Arrangement was the first thing I ever posted for him.

Took me 2 weeks to get the first chapter out because I kept thinking I couldn't find a voice for Astarion. One that felt like him. After all, I'm always a step behind because I am not a native speaker. There will always be that looming feeling that I can't convey this story properly.

Even if you now know me for my Astarion smut, that wasn't even the driving force of my love for him.

It took me 2 months to feel comfortable writing smut for him. Why? I don't even know.

But The Arrangement feels different.

I love writing it and I love taking my liberties with the plot.

It's my opportunity to fully showcase my love for him.

I know not everyone likes it. I know some of you have dropped it. Some of you will drop it. But some will walk along this path with me, and I can't stress enough how your feedback and love help keep these negative thoughts at bay.

It's an internal work, though. It is not your job to validate my writing skills. This is not what puts food on my table. I am not looking to be published. I am looking for an escape. And it's so frustrating when my mind tries to rob me of joy even when it comes to a hobby.

"If this is a hobby why does it matter what others think or if they like what you write? Just have fun. Write for yourself."

And I do write for myself, but I share my work because I am hopeful my words can make someone's day. I seek that connection I never had growing up. Perhaps it sounds silly, but it's what makes the most sense in my head.

The Arrangement should be my pride and joy even if not perfect (nothing ever is, I suppose). And I'm exhausted of not feeling proud of it. I'm tired of this vicious cycle of self-doubt.

Don't get me wrong. I love writing smut. I think that's what I'm best at (well, in my opinion). I love exploring Astarion this way, too, but...

I don't know where I'm going with this... if anyone has made it this far, thank you, and sorry for the word vomit...

[roxxiies]

This is my first time requesting for something on Tumblr, so I'm a little nervous. Anyways.. If you don't mind, I'd like some wholesome headcanons with Leomord and Faramis (separately). I rarely see x reader content for these two, but I'm too shy to post my own works for them qvq

𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐃, 𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐒 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

SFW, FEM!READER, SEPARATE HEADCANONS

a.n.: hello, anon, I would love for you to join our little fandom and watch it grow <3 don't be shy hihi we're very kind

Leomord, the ever knight, swears loyalty to his allies and even more with the people he cares about. He might even see you as part of his kingdom.

As the knight of his kingdom, he would offer some sort of advice on strategy on the battlefield.

And if you really asked for it, he would even let you ride Barbiel—just don't go running off with it. He knows his horse prefers you more than him—

Leo is patient and very encouraging, so whenever you practice and train with him, he won't hesitate to offer praise and give some constructive feedback here and there.

On the battlefield, he would keep an eye on you and would only step in when you’re really in trouble. He just loves how tough you are, just like during practice. Even if he won’t admit it, there’s a bit of pride in how well you’ve learned from training with him. 

But if you really were in a tough spot, he would swiftly charge in and save you. He won't abandon you no matter what happens, even if you fail. He would reassure you that mistakes happen and it's okay to fail once in a while.

“I...I’m sorry, I failed you,” you murmured as you were settled in front of him while he guides the horse.

He huffs, shaking his head, “You fought well, and for that, I am proud.” The only sound was the galloping of his horse, “But please remember, do not push yourself too far...” it'll make him sad.

He knows the faith of the people relied on the queen, and when you encouraged Vexana's will to step up once again, Faramis swore he's just going to pay you back once.

But now, Faramis always enjoys your company. He'd notice how you actually took a liking as he talks on about the things he knew for the past years.

if you let him, he would really ramble endlessly! And for a second, he forgets his worries and responsibilities.

He would even try to actually take you to one of the hidden places within the Land of Dawn. Spending hours exploring arcane secrets—he trusts you, just don't tell his queen about it.

In times of doubt, he'd be the one who will reassure you. Maybe it's something about how he uses his words or just... his presence alone.

On the battlefield, he would usually keep an eye on you if not with the core. Even though, you shouldn't be too hesitant to tower dive.

It's crazy how much he times his ultimate when it comes to you.

Faramis often stays awake late at night due to him being weighed down by his responsibilities. And sometimes, you silently join him and offer your presence as support. Even though you'd be quiet, this would still cause his heart to swell as he takes the sincerity of your care for him.

“You're still up? Did I not tell you to rest—”

“Fara, I'll just accompany you.”

He paused, then abruptly reached the vials nearby as he lowered his gaze, trying to cover his flustered cheeks.

[calamari-inari]

This is probably just my insecurities speaking but I'm really hoping there will be enough interest for my new ferdibert book to make it happen... the fandom for it is growing smaller each year so I'm just praying my efforts will not go wasted 😔

Every time I talk about it, whether it be here or elsewhere, it's like crickets. Idk if it's because money is involved 😭 I want to be proud of it for spending an entire 3 years on it but how can I when I can't sense anyone's excitement to encourage me 🥲

Anyway I can't force anyone to monetarily support it but let's just see how it goes. If you're keeping up with my updates, just know I appreciate you for voicing your enthusiasm!

[genevawrenn]

I have a few things to say about Quackity's stream and the QSMP as a whole.

If you haven't watched the stream, please do so here, I refuse to paraphrase and believe it should be watched in its entirety to form your own opinions. [Here is the YouTube link]

First of all; I don't think any of the actions Quackity took were deliberately malicious. I believe, in my opinion, he got swept up in the excitement and hype surrounding this new project, and we all know how easily that can happen. It's so easy to ignore the small things when you are being showered in positivity.

I think the project got far bigger than he thought which opens up everything to a lot of criticism.

But he does not deserve to feel unsafe, nor is it any sort of appropriate to send him death threats under any circumstances. Nor to anyone, that is a line we should not cross.

Please, for the love of everything, remember this is one of the biggest projects he has ever attempted. Balancing management, his real life, and his public figure status must be incredibly stressful, and you can only do that for so long until things start to go unnoticed. Someone spread so thin is bound to crack, and unfortunately, I think that's what happened with the administration. He's an incredibly busy guy, and to expect him to be so hands-on with the project while keeping up with the rest of his life and future prospects is an inhumane task to keep up with.

Yes, I absolutely agree that healthy amounts of criticism are necessary in something as groundbreaking as this. But under no circumstances *ever* does that become something you can threaten another's safety over.

I also agree he should have said something and apologized to the previous admins who were brave enough to share their story. But I also can agree with the fact this might have been better done privately, at least as much as possible, because the moment you get the public involved someone malicious is going to rip their words apart to use in whatever fashion they wish.

But it's hard to be truly objective and honest when every word you ever say online could be misconstrued and twisted to suit another's fancy.

I think that's where most of the issue lies, at least to me. There are systems in place when handled in a law environment to protect those affected. The moment anything goes public, it's free game for someone to use as they wish.

I think in certain situations, getting the public involved in the good fight is a sound decision, for a group of people are louder than one individual. But it can also grow wildly out of control if not handled properly, and for a delicate situation like this, I think it's only drawn the whole situation out to a painful amount.

I dislike the fact that a lot of my passion has disappeared for the server because this server is full of people whose content I enjoyed previously and some I've only now discovered.

But, I still do believe it's possible for us to hold hope. I have to hold onto that because if there truly is a way for this to turn around it can serve as an example it's possible to recover and put your best foot forward.

I think there's been mistakes all around, blown wildly out of proportion, but I do still want to give this place a chance.

Because what an example it could become if solutions can be found that helps all the parties and the fandom affected by this all.

That's all. Again, this is just my opinion, and I want to discuss it if people want to talk about it reasonably.

Please form your own thoughts after watching the stream, and try to keep an open mind. I understand this might drive a lot of people away, but I believe in the heart of what QSMP is.

This server and community are meant to unite people from across the world. Let's give it a chance to continue to do so, eh?

Edit for some clarification ;

I do not blame the admins for doing what they had to. I'm proud of the brave actions they took facing such a massive community head-on.

I just wish it all could have gone down differently, but we can't change the past, only hope for a better future.

[Here is a transcript of the stream from Twitter, please watch the stream as a priority though]

Edit 2: adding this too