#i'm not tagging this for fandom it can wander lost through the pages of my archives until it's done

[littleladymab]

"read I, Jedi," they* said.

"it'll be fun," they said**.

well tell that to me and my several "AND ANOTHER THING" rants in the chat and also the 2k words i've written because if you need to know one thing about me it's that I will always commit to the bit***

(* = @starwarsbookclub)

(** = no one actually said that)

(*** = writing a 'jedi summer training camp' fic in which Ezra meets Corran)

+++

"What's your real name?" Ezra asks that evening, grinning. 

"Kieran Halcyon," Corran answers. And then, because it is a joke that he doesn't quite know the scope of, he asks, "What's yours?" 

Jabba the Hutt was the first answer, given when they met. They were never properly introduced because Luke allowed himself to be distracted by Ezra's teasing. 

This time Ezra answers, "Hondo Ohnaka, pirate." He keeps smiling like he knows a secret, like he is revealing his real name to someone worthy of it. “Would you like to join my crew? We’re always hiring.” 

It becomes a bit of a game after that.

Any time they cross paths Ezra will give him a studious look before asking, “What’s your real name?” 

And Corran will always reply, “Kieran Halcyon,” because that’s what he’s going by. That’s the Corellian Jedi with a legacy of Corellian Jedi behind him that has been making friends with the others. “What’s yours?” 

Ezra strikes a pose and lifts a hand to his beard. “Lando Calrissian,” he answers in a passable attempt at Lando’s accent. 

Corran wonders if Ezra knows that he knows Lando. He wonders how Ezra knows Lando, because he doesn’t recognize the Jedi from the war despite Luke’s familiarity with him. 

(“An original member of the rebellion,” Leia says when Corran asks her one day. She also has a degree of familiarity with Ezra, though he doesn’t ask for their history and she doesn’t provide it.) 

 “Hey!” Ezra calls two days later when he finds Corran just parting from a training session with Kam and Streen. “What’s your real name?” 

Corran feels something clench in his chest and he looks around to check that no one heard. The last thing he needs is this game of Ezra’s to start sowing seeds of doubt. “Kieran Halcyon. What’s yours?” 

This time, Ezra’s grin vanishes and he lifts one skeptical eyebrow as he looks down his nose at Corran — using the full height difference to his advantage. “I,” he intones in what he must think is a decent Core World accent, “am Commander Brom Titus.” 

Corran waits a beat, then asks, “Who?” 

Ezra huffs out a breath and the illusion is gone. “No, you’re supposed to say, what, but, I’m Brom Titus. It’s a whole thing.” 

“I don’t even know who that is.” 

He waves a hand to dismiss it. “Never mind, it was only really funny to me.” 

Then, the next day as they cross paths in front of the dining hall: “What’s your real name?” 

Corran is ready for the question this time. “Kieran Halcyon. What’s yours?” 

“Sssseevor,” Ezra says in a strained, scratchy voice that catches Corran completely off-guard. “Captain of Crawler 413-24.” He emphasizes random syllables and punctuates them with too-long pauses to produce an altogether unsettling effect. “Want to work for the Mining Guild?” 

Then, when Corran finds Ezra with Leia and the Syndulla kid: “What’s your real name?” 

Leia passes a confused look between the two of them but Corran ignores it and answers, “Kieran Halcyon. What’s yours?” 

Ezra has a hard time controlling his smile but straightens his posture and says, “I am Lieutenant Lyste.” 

There’s a peel of laughter from Leia that she fails to smother behind her hands. 

So it’s another Imperial that Ezra knows and this time Leia is in on the joke. This frustrates Corran more than it should, honestly, because he knows that Ezra sees this as nothing more than a game. “No full name this time?” 

Ezra grins, still preening from making Leia laugh. “It’s Lieutenant.” 

“I think it was Yogar,” Leia corrects. 

“No, I’m pretty sure it was Lieutenant.”

[zapreportsblog]

A Fateful Encounter Turnt Into A Hearts Desire

➥ summary: Alexandra Trese is doing her job when she comes across such an enchanting beauty

➥ a/n: originally was not going to start writing for this fandom as of yet but a lovely commenter of mine (didn’t tag them because I was unsure if they were alright with that) wanted to see some Trese fandom stories on my page. So here I go, do leave feedback, it’s always appreciated :)

The moon hung high in the night sky, casting an eerie glow over the darkened streets of Manila. Alexandra Trese patrolled the city as she always did, vigilant against the supernatural threats that lurked in the shadows. On this particular night, her senses tingled with an unfamiliar presence, drawing her towards an old, abandoned mansion.

As she approached the mansion, Alexandra noticed an ethereal figure standing in the moonlight. It was a woman of captivating beauty, with long, flowing hair and eyes that sparkled like stars. Intrigued, Alexandra decided to investigate further, approaching the mysterious woman cautiously.

"Hello," Alexandra greeted with a hint of curiosity. "Are you lost?"

The woman turned to face Alexandra, a warm smile gracing her lips. "Oh, not at all," she replied, her voice soft and melodious. "I come here often to feel the night's embrace. It's quite comforting, don't you think?"

"I suppose it can be," Alexandra replied, intrigued by the woman's serene demeanor. "I'm Alexandra, by the way, Alexandra Trese."

"It's nice to meet your acquaintance, Alexandra Trese," the woman replied with a polite nod. "My father speaks highly of what you've done for the realm."

A flicker of surprise crossed Alexandra's face. "Your father? How does he know me?"

"He is the king of the vampire kingdom clan," the woman revealed, a glint of mischief in her eyes. "And I am Princess (Y/n) of the same kingdom."

Alexandra's eyes widened in astonishment as the revelation sank in. She had unknowingly been chatting with royalty, not just any royalty, but the princess of the vampire clan. Despite the revelation, (Y/n) didn't carry herself with an air of superiority; instead, she seemed genuinely interested in their conversation.

"I... I had no idea," Alexandra stammered, feeling a mix of embarrassment and awe. "I apologize if I seemed disrespectful."

"No need to apologize," (Y/n) reassured her with a gentle smile. "I prefer to be treated as any other person. Titles can be burdensome at times."

"You have a point," Alexandra agreed, feeling more at ease with (Y/n) now that the formalities were set aside. "It's just that meeting someone like you is quite extraordinary. Vampires are a rare sight in these parts, especially one of royal blood."

(Y/n) chuckled softly. "I suppose it's not every day that you encounter a vampire princess on the streets of Manila. But I find this city fascinating, and I often venture out of the castle to explore its hidden corners."

"I'm glad you find the city intriguing," Alexandra replied, a smile playing on her lips. "It's my duty to protect it, after all."

"I've heard stories about your bravery and your dedication to keeping this city safe," (Y/n) said, her admiration evident. "It's an honor to meet the woman who protects my father's realm."

The two continued to chat for hours, exchanging stories and learning about each other's worlds. Alexandra found herself drawn to (Y/n)'s genuine curiosity and kindness. The princess, in turn, was captivated by Alexandra's unwavering determination and sense of justice.

As the night wore on, (Y/n) expressed her desire to explore more of Manila's hidden gems, and Alexandra offered to show her around. Together, they wandered through the city's dark alleys and ancient temples, creating memories that would stay with them forever.

In that chance encounter, Alexandra Trese and Princess (Y/n) found an unexpected connection, one that transcended their different worlds. Little did they know that this meeting would be the beginning of an extraordinary journey, one filled with love, friendship, and the intertwining of their destinies in ways neither could have imagined.

•••

The entrance to the vampire castle was a formidable sight, guarded by imposing sentinels with eyes that glowed like hot embers in the darkness. Alexandra took a deep breath, steeling herself for the task ahead, as she was ushered inside by the stoic guards. The walls of the castle were adorned with ancient tapestries depicting the history of the vampire clan, and the corridors echoed with the whispers of centuries gone by.

Finally, Alexandra stood before the towering doors of the throne room, heart pounding loudly in her chest. She had faced countless supernatural threats, but none of them compared to the anxiety she felt now. Pushing the doors open, she stepped inside, her eyes meeting those of the vampire clan king - a regal figure seated upon a grand throne, exuding an aura of power and wisdom.

"Alexandra Trese," the king's voice was deep and resonant, carrying an air of authority. "What brings the city's protector to my domain?"

Respecting the customs of the supernatural world, Alexandra bowed respectfully before the king. "Your Majesty," she began, "I come before you with a request of utmost importance."

The king raised an eyebrow, intrigued by Alexandra's formality. "Speak, then. What is it that you seek?"

Taking a deep breath, Alexandra lifted her gaze and met the king's piercing eyes. "Your daughter, (Y/N),” she said, her voice steady despite the nerves. "I have developed feelings for her, feelings that go beyond mere admiration. I would like to ask for your permission to court her."

Silence filled the throne room as the vampire king studied Alexandra. His face was unreadable, and she couldn't help but feel a mix of hope and dread. Courtship between humans and vampires was rare and often frowned upon, but Alexandra couldn't deny what she felt for (Y/N).

At last, the king spoke, his voice measured. "You are the protector of this city, Alexandra. Your duty is to safeguard its inhabitants from the supernatural threats that lurk in the shadows. A relationship with my daughter could be seen as a conflict of interest."

Alexandra nodded, understanding the king's concerns. "I assure you, Your Majesty, that my duty to protect this city will never waver. My feelings for (Y/N) will not compromise my role as a protector."

The king observed Alexandra for a moment longer before a faint smile touched his lips. "Your devotion to your duty is evident, and it pleases me," he said. "But I must also consider my daughter's happiness. (Y/N) has spoken of you, and I can see that you hold a special place in her heart as well."

Hope surged within Alexandra as she listened to the king's words. "I would never do anything to bring harm to (Y/N),”she vowed. "I only wish to be with her, to cherish and protect her, just as I do for this city."

The king's expression softened, and he nodded thoughtfully. "Very well, Alexandra Trese. You have my permission to court my daughter, but know that if you betray her trust or put her in any danger, there will be consequences beyond your imagination."

"I understand, Your Majesty," Alexandra replied, feeling the weight of his words.

With the king's blessing, Alexandra felt a sense of relief and joy like she had never experienced before. She thanked the king sincerely before taking her leave from the castle, her heart light with hope for the future.

From that day on, Alexandra and (Y/N)’s courtship began discreetly, away from prying eyes. They would steal moments together in the shadows, exploring the city and each other's hearts. As their love deepened, Alexandra found herself not just enamored with the vampire princess's beauty and grace, but also enchanted by her kindness, intelligence, and compassion.

But as their romance blossomed, so did the challenges they faced. The supernatural world was not always forgiving, and there were those who opposed their relationship. Yet, Alexandra and (Y/N) stood together, facing every obstacle with unwavering determination and love.

In the heart of Manila's darkness, a forbidden love bloomed, defying the boundaries of their worlds. Alexandra Trese, the city's protector, and (Y/N), the vampire princess, found solace in each other's arms, embarking on a love story that would be etched into the city's supernatural history for all time.

[mimzy-writing-online]

You probably know this by now, I don't know if you keep up with Whumptober, but one of the prompts this year includes "blindness". I'm not blind but based on your posts about writing blind characters, and based on how I would feel if one of my disabilities were used as a whump prompt, I'm not super comfortable with it. I was wondering what your thoughts are on blindness being a Whumptober prompt.

(unironically and with feeling) thanks, I hate it.

Yes, I’m familiar with Whumptober, but I’ve never participated myself and I haven’t seen this year’s prompts.

Edit: I later did see the prompts and check out the blog. I think it's a good set of prompts and I look forward to all the promising content, especially since some of my favorite tropes are there. To be clear before you read this, I have no problem with Whumptober2021 or whump in general. This is not the first time blindness has been included for a list of whump prompts, and it won't be the last.

This post directed at the concept of "blindness" as a whump prompt and why I think it's a bad idea. The intended audience is individual writers thinking about future projects.

The timing of this is almost too perfect because I read a fanfic earlier this week that would meet that prompt exactly. Tags included whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. Now whump, hurt/comfort, and angst with a happy ending are tags I enjoy reading, but blindness as whump has a specific message to it.

To explain that message, I want to discuss what whump is. Many readers are already familiar with the genre, but I think taking the specific definitions and picking apart what it means and what expectations we carry when reading whump fanfiction

Urban Dictionary defines it as: taking a character and putting them through physical and/or mental torment and is typically followed by the same character being treated for their traumas. To indicate the characters place in the situation they’d typically be called a whumpee (the character being hurt/comforted), the whumper (the character that causes harm and trauma), and the caretaker (the character designated the helping/healing/comforting the whumpee).

Fanlore has a page for whump that explains it in depth, including where it started in fanfiction, examples of whump, and even a list of “popular targets” in different fandoms. (Warning: you might find yourself called out on the popular targets list)

“The term whump (or whumping) generally refers to a form of Hurt/Comfort that is heavy on the hurt and is often found in gen stories. The exact definition varies and has evolved over time. Essentially, whump involves taking a canon character, and placing them in physically painful or psychologically-damaging scenarios. Often this character is a fan favorite…”

To add to that, I think an important detail is the distinction Fanlore makes between hurt/comfort and whump:

“While some communities and fandoms may use whump as a synonym for hurt/comfort, there is still a recognition that whump refers to darker and more extreme scenarios. And there are still whump fics been written that have very little, or no comfort at the end of the story.”

The big appeal of hurt/comfort is getting to both explore the darker sides of pain and then experience the catharsis of being taken care of, of being supported by your loved ones as you recover from the trauma. The character is the proxy for experiencing those highs and lows while you yourself are safe at home.

I personally don’t read much/any whump without some h/c involved, but I’m happy there are stories out there for people who do enjoy it. I’m not here to judge what you like reading or what you do to your characters.

What I want is to express how blindness, my disability, used as a whump prompt personally makes me feel and what message it sends to me, to others, and how that message affects my daily life.

Whump undeniably involves watching a character suffer through something painful and traumatic.

My use of the word “suffer” is what I want you to focus on.

Vision loss can be painful and traumatic. I personally developed an anxiety disorder in response to vision loss. Others experience depression. For some it might result in relapsing into old, maladaptive coping mechanisms like drug use, self harm, or eating disorders.

A big part of my anxiety was how people reacted to my vision loss. It was a cause of their stress. They were worried because they genuinely believed I would never live a happy life without normal vision, and that my life would only be struggle and pain.

I recently saw an old friend who hadn’t heard about my vision loss. The conversation was awkward, but the worst part was how they reacted as though I had experienced an insurmountable tragedy. And even when I assured them I’m happy with my life, they clearly didn’t believe me. They acted like I was just lying or in denial.

I love that people want to empathize with my situation and ask themselves what they would do in my situation, but I hate when the conclusion they come to is something along the lines of “I could never do that, I’d be too miserable thinking about everything I lost, I’d never be able to do anything I enjoyed ever again.” But I did go blind. And I’m not miserable, I’m actually happy with the direction my life is going, and I still enjoy my hobbies, even if I engage with them differently.

I’m not suffering. My life didn’t end with vision loss. It’s not ruined, broken, or worthless.

I read a fanfic that was tagged with whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. A general synopsis of the plot: the whumpee had gone blind due to a curse. It was true love’s kiss that broke the curse. Even from the summary I knew it was going to end with whumpee being cured somehow and that I’d leave that fanfic vaguely dissatisfied no matter how good the rest of the fanfic was.

I can say this for the fanfic: the whumpee had already accepted that they would likely be blind for the rest of their life, but everyone around them was treating it as a tragedy that needed to be fixed, working tirelessly for a cure despite the whumpee’s protests that they didn’t have to.

It actually hit home to my personal experience.

I still left it dissatisfied with the ending. I might love curse fics in that fandom, and I love the “true love’s kiss” trope, but it wasn’t enough to distract me from the fact that: an actual person out in the world thought the best happy ending, maybe the only happy ending, would be if the character got their sight back.

(note: I clicked kudos and exited out of the story's page because no fanfic writer deserves unsolicited critique or hate, especially for content I consumed for free and at my own volition.)

Why read a story I knew would disappoint me?

Because blindness representation is so damn rare that I feel like I’m wandering in a desert, dying from thirst and desperate for that oasis. But sometimes that oasis is a mirage and the author is unintentionally telling you that your life is actually awful and you’ll never be fully happy like this. And that is a shit mentality to walk through life with.

I don’t appreciate blindness being a whump plot. I hate it. Hundreds (thousands?) of fanfictions featuring blind characters are about to enter the internet and the overall message is going to be “You poor thing! You must be in so much pain, you must be miserable! Who’s going to save you? Who’s going to comfort you? Wouldn’t it be terrible if there was no one in your life to take care of you? You poor helpless thing!”

And I feel objectified. I feel trivialized. The mirage in the desert is going to become a starch, empty room filled with dozens of water bottles, almost all of them poisoned. My representation is going to hurt me personally, and it’s going to reinforce that idea strangers have about how awful my life must be.

(I returned to school this past month, and every day I’m hesitant to tell someone I’m visually impaired because I don’t want to be treated differently. If I’ve managed to pass as sighted this whole time and then suddenly reveal “oh yeah, I’m visually impaired” I feel this instant silence, this pause of awkwardness as people suddenly question how they’re supposed to treat me. They treated me like a person, and now I’m something strange and unfamiliar.)

I’ve worked so hard to improve representation for blind people, to give internet strangers the exposure to a blind person they need to normalize blindness because I hope that if they’re ever so lucky as to meet a blind person, they’ll treat that person with respect. That hope that another person in the blind community will find a friend they feel comfortable and accepted with. I hope that I’ll meet people who accept my blindness as just another aspect of me (like being bisexual or gender fluid or a writer or a cat lover).

Please don’t turn me and my community into a caricature. Don’t erase everything I’ve worked for with this blog.

To be clear, this is not just me saying "I hate the cure trope" again. This is me saying "the purpose of whump is to painfully hurt your favorite character, and I hate that your idea of pain and suffering is my daily (wonderful) life."

[lettalady]

1, 6, 9, 10, 12, 13, 19, 20, 22, 24, 25 please! I know it's a lot, sorry! But you're one of my favorite authors and I'm literally so excited you shared this question game!!

Send an ask: Get to know the author

1. Is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason? 

     Answered previously but maybe we can go into more depth? There are several... ranging from a goofy fluffy piece that takes place in the mountains, another character!Tom something [we get a Pine story], another something that will hurt like hell when it gets properly fleshed out but we’ve caught glimpses of already... and that’s not even considering the works in progress that have already been partially posted that have fallen to the wayside.      I will get back to finishing everything already published before I begin another something. I will, because I’m stubborn like that. Or I’ll give in to the urge to flesh out the new things and .... oh those poor stories waiting for resolution. Those poor characters! 

6. Something you would go back and change in your writing that’s too late/ complicated to change now.

     Hmm that’s a good one. Edits are always a temptation. Always, always. In terms of something being too late and/or complicated to change? One day I’ll go back and fix the fact that YOJA has those strange blanks for the insertion of a name. It mucks up the flow of the story in places and just... yea. One day. It’ll happen, one day.      Otherwise, is it ever really too late? ❤ Stories just become adapted around the flaw, or the thread that was a happy circumstance and now plays a pivotal role in the narrative. 

9. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration? 

     Many things, and nothing, all at once. Sometimes it is just finding time to sit down and write the thing. Sometimes I need music... certain characters requiring certain themes/ music to fully cooperate... and sometimes it is just retaining a picture or something that reminds me of a certain story, or a moment in a story. You’ve followed me for awhile [and I hope things are going well! Love the updates about the pupper and always so overjoyed as to your updates re: life!] so you know that random things will appear on the dash that are tagged as “things that make me think of....” or “things that remind me of....” ❤❤❤

10. Write in silence or with background noise? With people or alone?

     Whoops, here I go again answering a question before we properly get to that question. So basically it depends, which is a shit answer, I know. Truthfully it does depend, both on my mood and the mood of the character/ feel of the story. And I’ve found that I tend to be horrible at writing when someone else is in the room, if only because I tend to fall to the temptation of writing a few sentences and then saying: Hey, how does this sound? What reaction does it net? --- vs just writing the damned thing.

12. Your weaknesses as an author.

     There’s always room for improvement. Always. Analyzing my own works and the lengthy process of writing and editing them, I feel I tend to struggle with a decent balance between moving things along purely by dialogue, and remembering that a description of the scene or action is needed. It plays out in my head but doesn’t always come across on the page.      And maybe it’s just writing style, perception, what have you, but I get annoyed with myself when I’m rereading something and find every sentence/ new paragraph containing dialogue. New paragraph of dialogue, descriptor of said dialogue, followed again by a new paragraph of dialogue? Drives me batty. But I’m working on it.     And just a personal peeve of mine, the consistency in my writing schedule -- by which, I mean it is entirely lacking.

13. Your strengths as an author.

     I’d like to say that I’m getting better at accurately reflecting what we live through day to day. What it means to make good choices, and bad, and everything that results.... And hey - let’s throw in that I’m 100% on board with adapting from constructive criticism, too. 

19. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, etc? 

     Oh if only there was slightly more organization to what I do. I have notebooks, so many notebooks, full of notes to track such things. I try to juggle all of it in my head and end up forgetting verra important points... It does help, sometimes, that I tend to write scene to scene. Sure, there are moments that end up planned out for specific stories well in advance [perfect example here is YOJA and the reunion/ awards show scene that has been written for months and it’s absolutely KILLING ME that I haven’t managed to link where we are with where we are going, yet.] 

20. Do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts.

     There I go again, half answering a question before we get to it. Basically it depends on the time I’m afforded. That, and my mood. If motivation isn’t there, or inspiration, then what good is having all day free? Sadly, off days seem to be few and far between lately so I’m sort of forced into the writing in spurts category. When opportunity presents and I’m not tied up with errands? Definitely part of the former camp. Long unbroken sessions wherein the momentum isn’t lost? Yep. Sign me up. 

22. Are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

     Previously answered, but just to reiterate: I tend to treat my characters as I would a friend, or as I would want to be treated, which typically translates to holding back on detailed descriptions of certain moments - call it a respect of privacy. 

24. Have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story? 

     As a writer, yea, you find yourself in a corner of the internet, or looking up a book in the library that you never would have considered before it became necessary in order to make the story work. I certainly learned more about elevators and the mechanics behind them when I was writing Close Quarters. I’d hardly call myself an expert on them, though.      Likewise, I seem to continually dig myself deeper into the Hiddles fandom with every passing moment. 

25. Copy/ paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of.

     Ok, well. Back to this conundrum again. What to highlight? What to choose? Alright, fine, let’s go with a segment from the original oneshot that became YOJA. 

... [You] spot Tom Hiddleston’s profile, causing your breath to catch. You spend longer than probably socially acceptable watching him interact with - you can’t see who it is, but they’re making him laugh so it doesn’t matter. Even through the din of so many conversations Tom’s laugh reaches your ears. You let your eyes drop to admire his well tailored suit and smile to yourself. This moment alone makes the whole night worth it.

Was Tom clean shaven? You hadn’t gotten a good look before. You let your eyes wander back up to his face, only to find him lock eyes with you. His smirk says it all… He’s caught you red handed.