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raina-at · 11 months ago

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Year in fic review 2023

Total number of completed stories: 4, I finished Spare Parts in 2022, just finished posting in 2023.

Total word count: About 50 k (published, god knows how many words of unfinished WIPS and abandoned one-shots)

Fandoms written in: BBC Sherlock, I'm a one-trick pony these days ;-)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

Hm, I suppose less? And not the things I expected. I started writing a lot of long, plotty fics but apparently, it wasn't the year for long and plotty fics. I suppose I didn't have the brain space for long and plotty.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

Probably Nothing Gold Can Stay, because I had this idea months and months ago, of John having a bit of a crisis before his wedding. I had this one piece of a core of a fic, the whole nucleus where John tells Sherlock nobody ever sticks with him, ever. And then I had three different fragments of fics trying to make it work, and every one had something amazing in it, but I just couldn't make it gel. And then I thought of the famous The thing you wanted to say, say it now, and the scene on the bench in TSOT, and bam, I had a fic. It came out in stops and starts of 200-word chunks, while John laboured with whether and how and when to trust enough, to have faith enough to actually say how he feels. I'm really proud of how it came out in the end, and I'm very happy you guys responded to it the way you did.

Did you take any writing risks this year?

I don't know about risks, but I wrote 31 ficlets in pretty much a month, which came out to 26000 words, and that was no mean feat. And I actually still like most of them. Gave me a bit of writers' burn-out, I won't lie, but what a ride!

Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?

I want to finish my Christmas fic. I would like to re-visit the Nothing Gold boys because I think there's meat on these bones and I always wanted to do a series of shorter fics that hang together. So maybe I can do something with that. But last year was so stressful at work and I don't see this year going any better (we have three big conferences this summer, so it's probably going to be So Much Worse). So, I'll be grateful for what I can accomplish, and accept that it might not be everything I want.

Most popular story of the year?

Nothing Gold Can Stay for sure.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

Hm, I got a lot of lovely feedback this year, so I generally feel loved and appreciated by fandom. My May ficlets especially got a lot of responses here on tumblr, and I loved that dynamic interchange between writing and reading and commeting, especially with the others who did the challenge.

If I had to pick one underappreciated story, my Spare Parts 'verse January 29th fic The Stars Walk Backward didn't get a lot of eyeballs, but it's understandable given that it's a one-shot in a 'verse that not that many people are famliar with in the first place. It's a bit of a stepchild of a 'verse, but I love it, and I love this story for its unabashed sentimentality. It's very sweet and very calm and has a lot of 'we're back together and I don't want to fuck this up again' energy. I love re-visiting this fic if I need a quick pick-me-up, so. You know.

Most fun story to write:

Most of the ficlets were fun to write, and Tipping Point was somehow the opposite of Nothing Gold Can Stay in that it came out in a big rush over four days, like a writing tsunami. But my Christmas fic is also super fun to write, I just hope I can sustain the fun and actually finish it.

Most unintentionally telling story:

Probably Nothing Gold Can Stay, I suppose. Grief is really complicated, and it's difficult to come to terms with the fact that you can sort of stumble into pockets of it, and that you sometimes grieve things that are technically still there but have changed a lot. Essentially, the story is about a John who has to stop running away from his grief and turn around and face it, and a Sherlock who sees that if he wants to truly get John back, he has to face it with him.

Biggest disappointment:

With myself for being unable to finish the many, many, many fics I've stared but didn't remotely finish. But also gracious to myself for letting life happen.

Biggest surprise:

Not surprise but gratitude for the love and support of this fandom. You guys are awesome. I'm so grateful whenever someone tells me that something I wrote made them Feel Something(TM). It's the greatest compliment a writer can receive, and I feel truly blessed that I heard this a fair bit this year. I write because it makes me happy, and if people reading my fics experience something similar, then that makes me even happier. So thank you, fandom.

#year in fic review #2024 #my fic #writing #goals for 2024 #finish something #but no pressure

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casualjacobwrites · 3 months ago

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FFXIV Write 2024 Prompt #3 - Tempest

Continued from Prompt #2.

More specific spoilers for patches 5.4 and 6.0 in this one. Didn't make the deadline on this one, but fortunately the deadlines don't start until September 8. Also, these are unedited and rushed (which is the idea!) so there's likely some mistakes, grammatical and otherwise.

Reminder: I'm taking on the added challenge of trying to weave the prompts into a continuous story rather than separate little entries. I probably will write other things during this month, but the idea for bringing Emmanellain and Sicard together amid a huge crisis is, for right now, really making my brain happy. If it works, I'll edit it all and make it a proper story.

Word Count: 1,537

Sicard lowered the spyglass with a curse then shouted, "All hands on deck!"

The collected crew rejoined with a collective "Aye aye," and ran off in separate directions. The Roegadyn woman who'd reassured Honoroit earlier began pulling at a large canvas cover to reveal one of the cannons aboard the ship. The lalafell man climbed the mast with surprising nimbleness for one of his diminutive stature. He managed to reach the crow's nest within half a minute and set up with a spyglass aimed in the direction of the smoke. A moment later a bell sounded, the rapid clanging loud enough to rouse anyone from the deepest sleep. A slender elezen man with deeply tanned skin repeated the captain's call for all hands on deck.

"Lafotal, the moment you see anythin' you tell me," Sicard shouted to crow's nest.

"Aye, captain!"

"Wastgeim, get the cannons prepped, an' don't be stingy with the powder this time."

The roegadyn woman paused in her work long enough to give a quick salute. "Aye, captain!"

"Cannons? I-is that really necessary?" Emmanellain followed Sicard back to the helm so closely the hyur swore he could feel the lordling's breath on his neck.

"Don't know yet," he said, his eyes locked toward the bow. "But I'd rather have 'em ready and not need 'em than to have a hole blown in my ship."

"The ship is on fire. They need help, not weapons."

Sicard inhaled sharply while grinding his teeth. Even in the middle of a crisis he manages to find a way to vex me. Out loud he asked, "And how does a ship catch fire?" He gestured in the direction of the distressed vessel.

"I-I don't know," Emmanellain stammered. "An accident?"

"Could be," Sicard allowed. "But could also be they were attacked by another ship we can't see waitin' to ambush and rob us. Worse, it might be someone set it up to lure in unsuspectin' crews so they can kill everyone on board and take our ship for their own. So forgive me for thinkin' about protectin' ourselves first."

"That's ludicrous! Who on earth would set their own ship on fire in the middle of the ocean as a trap?"

For a long moment Sicard was too stunned to respond. When he regained his ability to speak, his words came out in a roar. "Pirates, you bloody imbecile!" A throbbing pain shot through his temple and he knew his face must be red. " There's no trick in the book too low down or dirty for anyone greedy enough to try, an' I should know. I used to be a pirate."

Emmanellain stared at him, his mouth twisting in horror. "Did…did you ever hurt people like that?"

Sicard started to say, "Of course I did," but when he noticed the way the other man looked at him, his speech failed. Emmanellain had of course known he was a pirate, but this was the first time he'd been forced to consider what that meant and it had repulsed him.

Never before in his life had Sicard been so consumed by shame and guilt. Sure, he had turned over a new leaf after running afoul of the Warrior of Light and the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. He and his crew had provided vital aid during the End of Days and for the first time he could say they had made a positive difference in the world. Yet, in the back of his mind he carried the reminder of his past misdeeds and the knowledge he could never truly atone for the many terrible things he had done. Each day since his duel with Admiral Bloefhiswyn he'd dealt with a constant swirling undercurrent of regret, but now it was turning into a raging tempest of sorrow and self hatred. To know Emmanellain de Fortemps thought lesser of him as a man cut far deeper than he wanted to admit.

"This is hardly the time or place to discuss that," he snarled. So what if some Ishgardian noble thought he was a monster? What did the spoiled second son of House Fortemps know about his life? No one who lived in luxury could ever understand why he made the choices he did. "I've got a job to do. You and Honoroit need to get belowdecks 'til I give the all clear."

"No."

Sicard swore his neck muscles creaked as he slowly turned his head toward Emmanellain. "What do you mean 'no'?"

"I want to help." His reply was earnest and spoken as if it was the most natural thing.

"Did you miss the part where I said we might be headin' into a trap?" He shook his head. "No offense, mate, but you have neither the stomach nor the skill for fightin', an' if this all goes to pot I can't be worried about you gettin' a splinter."

"I'll have you know fought in the Dragonsong War alongside the Warrior of Light!" Emmanellain's voice grew higher in pitch, an obvious sign of his wounded pride.

Sicard slammed his hand against the wheel and whirled to face the elezen. He leaned in until their faces were mere ilms apart and growled, "Get your arse belowdecks 'fore I kick it down there for you."

Just as Emmanellain's mouth opened to respond, another voice interrupted. "I got the supplies, my lord." Amid all the chaos and arguing Sicard hadn't noticed Honoroit had slipped away. The manservant stepped onto the quarterdeck carrying a large leather sack.

"What in the hells is that?"

"Apothecary supplies," Emmanellain replied. "Potions, poultices, bandages, and anything one might need in an emergency."

The smug grin on his face was doing little to keep Sicard's urge to deck him at bay. "An' what am I supposed to do with that?"

"You said it yourself. You don't know what might happen when we get to that ship, but regardless of if we're rendering aid or drawn into battle, you're going to need healing." He waited for Honoroit to set the bag on the ground then crouched down to rifle through its contents. After pulling out a selection of vials, he slipped them into slots in his belt and stood. "I'm no conjurer, but I am trained in basic field medicine and can still help."

"No, no, too dangerous." Sicard refused to budge. The thought of Emmanellain being injured or worse filled him with an odd sort of anxiety. He ignored the little voice inside him that said his worry had nothing to do with the potential loss of profit from their new business venture. "Both of you should stay below."

"Now see here--"

Honoroit raised his voice to interrupt his master. "If I might make a suggestion, Master Spence?"

Sicard scrubbed a hand over his face. It was bad enough to deal with the lordling's thick skull, but the younger elezen was too clever by half. "What? An' keep in mind we don't have much time."

The manservant nodded. "What my lord said about his experience in the Dragonsong War is true."

"Thank you," Emmanellain cut in.

"Yes, my lord is quite adept at keeping himself safe in battle to the point where he has never needed to draw his sword."

"Yes, that's ri--hey!"

Honoroit ignored Emmanellain's protests. "But he has seen a variety of injuries both on and off the field and knows which medicines to use. I myself have studied a bit of alchemy and anatomy, and I'm quick on my feet."

Sicard considered the page and rubbed his chin. "What you're sayin' is he knows how to avoid a fight, an' you'll keep him out of my way?"

The page smiled. "Yes."

The hyur sighed. "Fine, but if either one of you causes a problem for me, I won't hesitate to toss you overboard, profit or not." It was an empty threat, but they didn't need to know that.

"I see flags, captain!" Lafotal called down from the crow's nest.

"What colors?" Sicard asked.

"'Ard to say with the light." The lalafell's silhouette leaned forward with his spyglass firmly attached to his eye. He muttered something unintelligible then shouted, "Garlean, sir." Below him the crew fell silent. Though Eorzea was now allied with what remained of Garlemald, it was hard not to feel some sort of apprehension upon encountering one of their ships at sea. Decades of imperial invasion and oppression couldn't be forgotten or forgiven in such a short time.

"Anything else?" Sicard asked.

"Ship's still aright. No sign of anyone on deck." No one spoke while Lafotal continued reporting. "Smoke, no fire."

"No fire. That's good, right?" Emmanellain asked.

Sicard shook his head. "Just means we don't see the flame. Could be an engine fire." Above him Lafotal was adjusting the focus on his spyglass. Sicard saw him jump backward as if startled.

"There's a body, captain, an' it's not a Garlean."

That was a strange observation to make. There was not enough light nor were they close enough for Lafotal to see a uniform. "How can you tell?"

"Fishback, sir. There's fishbacks on the ship!"

Both Sicard and Emmanellain took a step back then looked at each other. An already strange evening had just become even stranger.

#ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite 2024 #casualjacob's writing

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Caleb & Janis

Caleb: quantos dos meus telefonemas você não vai responder? Janis: 🤔 Caleb: me diga que você está segura e eu vou parar de ligar para você, é fácil Janis: you think if I was in mild peril, I'd find the time to send you an emoji Caleb: knowing you, yeah Janis: proving once again how little you know me, father Caleb: none of this is funny or clever, do you know that? Janis: 💔 Janis: as long as it is, that was the deal was it Janis: try harder from here on out, I assure you Caleb: you are breaking your mother's heart so I wish you would Janis: 🙄 Caleb: this is what I mean Caleb: how is that a response to what I just said Janis: how's, 'even if that were true, I don't care', work for you then Caleb: it doesn't work Caleb: none of this works Janis: that's unfortunate for you Janis: probably should've listened before hitting 10 though Caleb: we aren't talking about my failings we're talking about you running away again Janis: same diff, eh padre Caleb: no Caleb: you chose to do this Caleb: & every response you've given me since then Janis: what we all choose, in the end Janis: better than what you're offering Caleb: what would you like me to do differently? Caleb: I could listen to your grandmother & send you to Brazil or you could give me an answer to a question Janis: ha, go on then Janis: why not form a panel of failed parents Janis: maybe you'll get it down for your grandkids, eh Caleb: I've made mistakes and I'm trying to learn from them Caleb: that's all I'm trying to get you to do Janis: fat lot of good that does her Janis: or any of us Janis: so no, you're alright Caleb: I did everything I could for her Caleb: & all of you Janis: well it's not good enough Janis: is it Caleb: I know that Janis: then fuck off Janis: I don't need or want your failed attempts Janis: or hers Caleb: I'm still your dad Caleb: so I can't Caleb: & I didn't when she wanted me to either Janis: yeah that pat on the back is well deserved Caleb: this anger isn't going to fuel you forever Caleb: it also can't Janis: watch me Janis: you reckon either of you is owed any forgiveness Janis: nah Janis: not from me Caleb: I'm not asking for your forgiveness Caleb: I'm asking you to stop putting yourself into unsafe situations Janis: send me Brazil then Janis: how long 'fore I'm dead in some favela Janis: 👍 class parenting, send 'em off, let them be fucked up out of sight Caleb: I'm doing my best Caleb: that's all I've ever done Janis: and what Janis: I don't owe you shit in return Janis: that's bare minimum and you fucked that up Caleb: I'm sorry Caleb: but you being right about what a bad dad I am doesn't mean you know everything or you can do as you please Caleb: the bare minimum you're meant to do is tell us where you are Janis: why, so you can do fuck all about it Janis: in a crack house be home when I need funds Caleb: because you're a child Caleb: maybe when you aren't you'll be bothered that your words have consequences Janis: never concerned you before Janis: 🤞 for you Caleb: it concerns me constantly Janis: what a drag Janis: probably shouldn't have had the kids Caleb: it's what I signed up for when I did have you all Janis: stop complaining to me then? Janis: love that new approach though Janis: guilt your kids for being born Caleb: you believe this is me complaining? Caleb: if you feel guilty because I care about you, you shouldn't Janis: I believe it annoys me all the same Janis: whatever this Janis: new failed attempt is Caleb: everything I do annoys you Caleb: you want me to hold onto that? Janis: whatever works for you Janis: I couldn't care less Caleb: the more you say it, the less power it has Janis: 💔 Janis: backatcha, man Caleb: just tell me or your ma where you are Janis: why Caleb: I've told you why Janis: no you haven't Janis: as per Janis: lots of chatting, saying fuck all Caleb: you're a child & it's the least we ask of you Janis: ha Janis: no then Caleb: so be it Caleb: I'll come looking for you then Janis: your idea of a hobby, not mine Janis: not like you're any good at it so excuse me for not trembling in my boots Caleb: that isn't the reaction I want Caleb: so it's all good with me when you don't Janis: well isn't that lovely Janis: so chill and so cool, phased by nothing Janis: amazed you could muster the energy to cry at her funeral Caleb: she was my daughter & I miss her every day Caleb: I hope being deliberately hurtful makes you feel better about things Janis: 👍 Janis: convincing Janis: so easy to miss, isn't it Janis: much easier than parenting Caleb: I did everything I could for her Caleb: I've already told you that Caleb: I'm sorry that isn't convincing you but it's the truth Janis: I'm sure you did Janis: like I said, fat lot of good it was Janis: doesn't matter how hard you tried, you failed Janis: get over it Caleb: yeah, I did fail Caleb: I'll never get over that Janis: yeah, again Janis: easy this bit Caleb: no, it isn't Janis: that's fucking tragic Janis: 😂 Caleb: You know where I am when you're ready to come home Caleb: Unless I find you before then Caleb: Please let your boyfriend know his dad has been to ours looking for him Janis: Whatever Janis: I don't plan on talking to you when I have to come back Caleb: you never plan on talking to me Caleb: talk to your mother Janis: ha, fuck off Janis: I'd sooner die Caleb: She'd love to hear you say that Janis: pass the message on if you're so inclined Caleb: I won't Janis: she'll have to stay 💔 then won't she Caleb: it appears so, yeah Caleb: that much is true of all of us Janis: awh, sad times Janis: sure there's someone 'round who don't know enough about you all yet Janis: get that last dose of sympathy Caleb: how little you think of me Caleb: I obviously should send you to spend some time with your grandmother, you'd be in good company Janis: glad you're catching on Janis: 'cept you lack the ability to send me anywhere Caleb: it isn't an illusive thread, Janis Caleb: you speak up loud & clear Caleb: I lack the ability to keep you here either, so what do I have to lose Janis: someone has to Janis: and only another kid Janis: not like that seems to bother you Janis: plenty more, oh wait, not really these days Caleb: if only you were educated on what you were speaking so loudly about Caleb: it doesn't seem to bother me because you don't wish to see that Janis: you're not the failed child prodigy, that shit ain't gonna fly Janis: but go off if you wanna bring up this families inability to communicate as if that ain't on you too 😂 Caleb: I'm here now trying to communicate with you Janis: where? Caleb: all you want to do is discuss how much of a failure I am as if it's never possible to do better Janis: and all you're doing is trying to tell me what to do Janis: too late, on both counts Janis: you're only doing that because school and Jimmys's dad are onto you Caleb: I'm doing it because I care about you & I'm worried Caleb: It hasn't been that long since the last time you left Caleb: I'm telling you to come home because it's not too late for you Caleb: nothing bad has happened Caleb: but you can't keep doing this & expecting that it won't Janis: oh so 'cos I'm not on hard drugs, I've got nothing to complain about Janis: ha Janis: A+ as usual Caleb: You can complain about anything you want, running away isn't the way to lodge it Caleb: It won't solve anything Janis: neither will you Janis: I have no interest telling you anything Janis: you've said it yourself and I knew it before you did Janis: you're useless Caleb: you don't have to tell me Caleb: there's plenty of people you can talk to Janis: no, there isn't Janis: the only person I can talk to is here Janis: so you see, I don't need you Janis: any of you Caleb: we still need you Caleb: you're still a part of this family Caleb: you always will be Caleb: you can't run from that Janis: life's unfair, ain't it Janis: give her more to cry about Caleb: life is what you make it Caleb: & we'll all be with you wherever you go Janis: sure, hippie Janis: then why'd you choose to make such a mess of yours? Caleb: I made mistakes Caleb: your dad is human, sorry you ever had to learn that, but that's the way it is Janis: I've never thought of you as anything more, don't flatter yourself Janis: 9 of 'em, right Janis: 10 if you count ma, 11 if you count getting back with her Janis: how much bad karma is that 🤔 Caleb: none of those things are what I'm counting as my mistakes Caleb: & I know what you think of me Caleb: like I said, you make yourself very clear Janis: you should try it Janis: people might respect you more Caleb: I've got enough bad karma coming my way without being hurtful for the sake of it Janis: 💔 Caleb: my heart's already broken so I won't worry about who may or may not respect me Janis: if you were worried, about anything, but respect specifically, then we wouldn't be here Caleb: if we're going to talk about possible what ifs that could have avoided us being here, I'll need to sit down & get more comfortable Janis: hardly Janis: it's simple Janis: if Edie had respected you as any kind of a father figure, she wouldn't have had to do what she did Janis: or, even easier, if Drew had of respected you as a person, he wouldn't have knocked up your missus Janis: crisis truly adverted Janis: but no Caleb: and now you don't & you're going to keep doing this Janis: this has nothing to do with you Janis: again, don't flatter yourself Caleb: if you say so Caleb: I love you Caleb: be safe Janis: are you serious Janis: you think you're remotely on my radar Caleb: apparently not Janis: you're so Janis: passive Janis: you may as well not be there Caleb: we can't both be aggressive Janis: you're incapable Caleb: no, I not Caleb: I choose not Janis: it's pathetic Janis: do you know what it's like to have a dad who you know couldn't stand up for you Caleb: I didn't have a dad so yeah Janis: better than a useless one Caleb: that's what you think Caleb: I would have preferred one who tried & was there Janis: well, this isn't about you Janis: shocking, I know Janis: if you weren't here, then she wouldn't have anything to complain about Janis: and you wouldn't get to harp on about how hard you tried as if you're fooling any of us Janis: we were there Janis: you did fuck all Caleb: you were there so you know that's not true Caleb: it's what you want to believe so you can blame me for what happened Janis: it is your fault Janis: and hers Janis: you don't get to exempt yourself 'cos he looks worse on paper Janis: you did nothing, nothing of use, you never have Caleb: it was an accident, it wasn't anyone's fault that she died Caleb: & everything can came before, what does blame even matter, it's not going to change anything or fix it Caleb: you can put it on me or your mother or Drew or Edie herself Caleb: it's not that simple & it's not going to make you feel any better Janis: oh that's nice for you Janis: who cares who's to blame Janis: she's only dead Janis: we'll all live and let live, can't change the past Janis: bullshit Janis: you're the one without a fucking clue Janis: it's not about me feeling better, it's about all of you feeling as bad as you should Janis: but you never fucking will so fuck the lot of you Caleb: nothing you've said or done can make me feel any worse Caleb: there's no worse pain than this, her death Caleb: you don't have a clue if you think otherwise Caleb: but we do all still have to live, somehow Caleb: so holding onto all of this is what's bullshit Caleb: you have to let it go, one day, you'll need to Janis: wow, great inspirational speech Janis: what parenting book did you rip that from Janis: you let go before she was gone Janis: that's facts Janis: I don't have to do jackshit you say Caleb: I never let go for a second Caleb: & I won't of you Caleb: so like I said, I love you, be safe Caleb: there's nothing more to say Janis: drop dead Caleb: one day Janis: helpful as always Caleb: I can only help you if you let me Janis: no, you can help me by dropping dead Caleb: that wouldn't help Janis: it would Caleb: how? Janis: wouldn't have to deal with you Janis: and what use are you alive Janis: we've already established you ain't Janis: mean of income, at best Caleb: there'd be someone to take my place though Caleb: you're not free simply because you're free of me Caleb: people still care Janis: know she's got history but bit low Janis: give yourself some credit Janis: she lasted this long without cheating on you Janis: again Caleb: don't talk about your ma like that Caleb: you weren't there for any of that & since you only believe what you want to for the things you witnessed Caleb: there's no room for you to speak on this Janis: say what I want Janis: especially as it's true Janis: know what they say, how you get 'em is how you'll lose 'em Caleb: I don't have to be here to listen to you Janis: ha Janis: then fuck off Janis: go on Janis: you can pretend you've been a parent Caleb: tchau 💚 Caleb: come home soon for your own sake Caleb: you should be in school Janis: tell me, how many of your children finished school? Janis: 😂 Janis: you're a fucking joke Caleb: have a good laugh & I'll see you soon Janis: no, you won't Caleb: how many times have I heard that from you? Caleb: as many as you've done this Caleb: if this is the exception, I'll believe it when it happens Janis: wow, so mature Janis: mock me for not ending up dead Janis: A++ Janis: this is why we all come to you Caleb: I'm acknowledging that you're a child with no means of supporting yourself & nowhere to go Caleb: that's what I mean when I say I know you'll be back home Caleb: everything is life or death with you Janis: love that Janis: hold that over us with the guilt of being born Janis: real old school Janis: because it is, and don't fucking challenge me, you'll be the only one to regret it Caleb: I'm holding nothing over you, you're weighing yourself down because you want to believe that's what I'm doing or saying Caleb: there's no challenge being issued either, I have no desire to see you prove anything of the sort Janis: no, what I want, is for you to fuck off Janis: you're a cunt, regardless of what I want or need Caleb: so let me go Caleb: I've said goodbye twice Janis: who's stopping you Janis: not me Janis: you're the one out here trying to best a 'child' by your own admission Janis: you self-righteous loser Caleb: you keep talking Caleb: so it is you Janis: to tell you to die Janis: it's not an invitation for conversation Janis: you are that desperate but come on Caleb: yeah it is Caleb: if you didn't want to keep this going, you'd stop Janis: no, I want you to know how much I hate you Janis: you're under the illusion you deserve sympathy Janis: and you need to know you deserve this, and everything else you've got Caleb: I knew all of that before this conversation began Janis: bye then Janis: ✌ Caleb: 💚

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