#i'm not really inclined to give them any benefit here and say they only meant the term not the thing itself

[somecunttookmyurl]

adhd people using the words "object permanence" to convey "i forget things exist when i stop looking at them" in a way that makes it clear it's more than just "regular old forgetfulness" aren't infantilising themselves, yeah. it is in fact mostly people with adhd trying to communicate a thing who are using it though.

"it's in the notion people with adhd can't text back because of object permanence (a thing babies develop"

it's... almost certainly going to be someone with adhd explaining something that they learned of this "notion" anyway. not someone without adhd just deciding to have a discussion about that with another non-adhder for shits n gigs

there is considerable debate over exactly what to call it to communicate it without going in exasperated circles about "no, not like regular forgetting things" and "no, not because i hate you"

honestly to someone who doesn't know (or fully understand) the child development term "object permanence" it's very evocative of "object stops existing to me until i see it again or a specific memory trigger happens"

[for those who don't have adhd here's a nice frankly perfect example.

i opened my microwave last week and was genuinely shocked to find a - now mouldy - cup of tea in there. i can logically reverse engineer what i did (forgot it, went cold, saw it and remembered, put it in the microwave to reheat, shut door, forgot it existed immediately, later rediscovered it like a particularly shit archaeologist) but not only do i have no actual memory of any of this, and thus no IDEA how long it had been there... i also forgot about owning the specific mug in there and didn't notice it was missing. i use it frequently. but above all i really was not expecting there to be anything to be in the microwave.

you can see how this is 2 inches to the left of "regular forgetting" that "everyone gets" - especially when it happens with everything all the time including entire people (it's not you it's me)

but if i relayed this story to you and described it "like an object permanence thing" your response would likely be "that makes sense. those objects aren't permanent also are you okay" (no)]

what's infantilising is people saying "that isn't a thing that that's a BABY thing for BABIES are you dumber than a BABY" whilst conveniently completely skipping over the thing you were explaining to start with. behind which is inevitably "that's a baby thing for babies not a real adhd thing therefore you are making it up/making excuses/everyone does that/cope"

a "notion" if you will (and a notion which isn't why you forgot to text them back)

This was an interesting article to read. I think it's a little simple but still fun to skim thru.

[wildlittlefoxsworld]

Matchmakers (Part 1) | The Old Guard | Booker x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader has a friend with benefits in London, but secretly likes Booker. Reader's friend has no time for her, but she's stressed and frustrated. Nicky and Joe know that Booker likes her too, and decided to help the Reader.

Warnings: sexual frustrated!reader, friends with benefits, misunderstandings, anxious feelings

Words: 1.9 k +

Second part

Masterlist

***

You sat on the dining table with your face in your hands in the little cottage near Rome that was owned by Joe and Nicky. You all came here after you had a mission that went well, but you were all really exhausted afterwards. Originally you wanted to stay here for a week and then leave to visit an old friend of you in London, it was still possible for you to have contact to your friends, you weren’t so old, but you were sure it could be only for one or two more years before they would notice that you weren’t aging. But now you were here for thirteen days already, because your friend was on sudden business trip and you had no other place to go.

But that wasn’t the reason you sat on the dining table with fingers in your hair and pulling on the roots a little rougher while you groaned loudly.

“What’s the matter, principessa?” You heard Nicky’s voice and flinched when he sat down next to you on the table. You weren’t aware that he entered the room and you lifted your head lazily.

“You seem very frustrated about something. Do you want to talk about it?” Nicky considered and you frowned. Nicky had a good knowledge of human nature and you weren’t in the mood to talk about your problems, so you just shrugged and your head sink down on the surface of the table.

“Maybe I can help?” Nicky suggested and you shook your head.

“No one could help me,” you muttered.

Nicky laughed about your answer. “For every problem there is a solution. But when you need help, you should tell someone if you want to solve the problem.”

You groaned again. “And how do you want to help me?” you snapped and felt instantly bad to get shirty with him. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled.

“It’s okay. I could search Andy, maybe it’s easier for you to talk to her,” Nicky continued to make suggestions and you burst out laughing in disbelief.

“Andy would tell me to stick myself together. I don’t think it’s a good idea. Then I would rather talk to you.”

“Why don’t you do it then?” Nicky smiled encouraging and you sighed.

“I can’t… it’s embarrassing,” you whispered and you didn’t dare to look in his eyes. He would probably laugh about it.

“Well, I’m sure I heard worse,” Nicky replied seriously with a sly smile. “Come on, Y/N, or I have to guess. I have a clue. You don’t need to be afraid; I’m not going to tell anyone, not even Joe.”

“What you aren’t going to tell me? You have secrets from me, my love?” Joe said playfully pouting from behind you and you groaned a third time burying your face in your hands.

“Is she okay?” Joe asked Nicky worriedly and you heard him moving a chair. He sat down and took Nicky’s hand in his.

“I’m not sure, amore mio, she doesn’t want to tell,” Nicky explained with a still serious voice.

“I’m still here, no need to talk in third person about me,” you grumbled and leaned back with crossed arms over your chest.

Joe laughed and tried to hide it as he clasped a hand over his mouth. “Why are you so mad? Is it your time of the month? Or what is wrong?”

You scrunched your face up in annoyance and turned your head away. “Stop your churlishness,” Nicky scolded him and bopped him playfully. “That’s a delicate topic.”

“Y/N, just tell us and we search for a solution or I just say what I think your problem is.” Nicky was giving you a last chance and you shook your head.

“I can’t be that worse. We can help out in every aspect. We are family, Y/N, we are there for each other,” Joe assured you, but you ignored him and made a huffing noise. You weren't mad with them, you were mad about yourself.

Joe looked helplessly to Nicky and you interpreted Nicky’s gaze, you were in a trap. He wouldn’t let go and you will feel embarrassed for the rest of your immortal life.

“Don’t worry, Joe, you didn’t say anything wrong. I think she’s simply sexual frustrated. I assume your friend in London is the reason for this dilemma and I know he’s too busy to spend time with you,” Nicky deadpanned and your eyes widened in shock. He was good, a good observer and you were trapped. Well, you could always leave, but he wouldn’t stop worrying about you. Nicky didn’t want to be mean or to offend you, but it was still awkward.

“That’s all?” Joe asked confused. “Well, you could visit him when he has free time again or just pick someone in a bar near here. The language shouldn’t be the problem.”

“I don’t like one-night stands,” you answered Joe back and didn’t want to meet his gaze. “Now the cat is out of the bag, but do we really need to talk about it?”

“We don’t have to, but you’re stressed and that isn’t healthy. You need something to release your stress. Did you try something else than sex? Boxing with a sandbag? Running?” Nicky proposed gently and you sighed again.

“I went yesterday and today for a one and a half hour run, but I don’t feel better.” You shrugged again and twirled a strain of your hair between your thumb and forefinger.

Nicky and Joe exchanged looks and you knitted your brow. “What do you have in mind?”

It wasn’t the way you thought the day would go. You talked two hours ago with your friend from London and he would be back on Saturday and you planned to take a flight on the same day. But until then you needed to survive four more days and you didn’t have an idea how to do this.

“Well, principessa, if sports don’t help and you don’t want to be with a stranger, your friend isn’t available anyway; you should maybe spend time with someone you know already.”

You were taken aback for a second and then you shook your head in disbelief. “And who? My only friend with whom this kind of arrangement is possible lives in London. My other friends are female or married.”

Nicky smiled conspiratorial and you quirked an eyebrow. You held your breath and braised yourself for what Nicky was going to say. You hoped he wouldn’t suggest that you should spend some time with Joe and him, because it would be very weird. You wouldn’t agree with this.

“Don’t panic, Y/N. I know you have a little crush, we saw your lingering and admiring gaze,” Joe explained with a mocking tone. But you panicked and whimpered a little. That couldn’t be true. Did they really think you have a crush on them? You couldn’t tell. Yes, you knew them for a while now, but you couldn’t figure out. You gulped nervously and looked at them, expecting the worst.

“I can assure you that your feelings are returned from your crush,” Nicky said with a smile.

“I hope we’re talking about the same person. Yes, I can’t deny that I have a crush on someone, but…” Your voice broke at the end and you bit your lip agitated. Nicky watched you and he noticed that you didn’t feel well with the conversation. He admitted that their words were mysterious and that it made you only confused.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I thought it was obvious… I mean Booker,” Nicky explained hastily and your head fell forwards in relief, placing your hand above your heart.

“Oh god, I thought for the past minutes you meant yourselves,” you responded and laughed assuaged.

“With all my respect for you, I see you as a sister. I love you dearly, Y/N, but my heart only belongs to Joe.”

You nodded in agreement. “That would’ve been so weird.”

“Yeah, we're family, but there we make a boundary,” Joe chuckled and the mood lightened up slightly.

You were so anxious the whole time that you didn't realize what Nicky had told you about the feelings of your crush. “Were you serious? When you told me about… about… Booker's feelings for me. Why are you sure that he does like me?”

Nicky inclined his head and smirked. “He told me.”

“What?… When?… I mean he really told you that…,” you stuttered and couldn't believe his words, yet you knew he wouldn't lie to you.

“Booker… he got very upset… two months ago. That was last time when you left to visit your friend in London. He spoke about how you always run into your lover's arms and someday he will break your heart, because he grow old and you will be always young.”

“He isn't my lover or my boyfriend, we are just friends that, well, you know,” you clarified and Nicky nodded.

“We told him that you aren't in a relationship with him and then Booker said that your friend doesn't derserve you. It was impossible to imagine for Booker how your friend couldn't love you. And he said that he can treat you better, that you deserved to be loved.”

You were shocked and overwhelmed with emotions, to hear those words about Booker's feelings for you. He didn't just like you, he was in love with you, at least you hoped for it. You never imagined that he would return your feelings and you never noticed any sings that he felt mutual.

“Booker really cares about you,” Joe mentioned with a honest gaze to you. “I watched him the last eight weeks. On every mission he was close to you, he protected and always checked first on you. Also at home, he took care of you, looked after of you and tried to spend more time with you. I'm sure you're his priority.”

You got tears in your eyes and they rolled down your cheeks, angrily you wiped them away. You felt stupid that you wasted so much time in London, you could have something so much better.

“I understand why he never said something. I assume he thought that I'm not intersted in him, because I travelled so often to London. I didn't even see that he wanted to spend more time with me. I just thought he wanted to be nice…”

Nicky and Joe simply nodded and Nicky gave you a tissue for the tears.

“What should I supposed to do now?” You mumbled crestfallen and took a deep breath.

“Of course you should tell him!” Nicky exclaimed

“If it's not too late. He could reject me,” you complated the possibility he couldn't want you.

“You will never know if you don't try it,” Joe said convincing. You kne he was right and you nodded nervously.

“Where is he?”

“In the living room working on his laptop,” Nicky answered smiling and nodded towards the hallway that leaded in the living room.

Now or never, you told yourself.

***

What do you think?