#i'm not good right now and the only thing i can really do to kee myself sane is to draw

[zero-saber-sam]

"XXX" - Kendrick Lamar (2017)

[trainingforfandom]

Yuji Itadori Exercise Program

LOOK ok, the only reason people think Sukuna is hot is because of Itadori's physique.

Sukuna is muscular in his own right but do we really think that he trains? I'm maybe just a little butthurt here lol.

So Yuji is just strong ok? He probably doesn't really train much for his physical abilities, and he is one of those athletically and spatially gifted people who has strength, speed, and agility born into him. He also enhances his combat abilities by watching movies and due to his physical giftedness letting him execute whatever he sees. We can't really do that... But that doesn't mean we won't try!

Here is how his training is broken down:

Middle School:

PE/ Teen Activities: All schools have it, he went to a regular middle school so unlike BNHA PE, this'll be more normal 2-3x a week running laps, playing sports (track and field/ball sports)

Minimal weightlifting/calisthenics: Yuji didn't even want to join a club so that he could go and see his grandfather everyday. He probably went to the gym/school weight room 2x a week max. Likely with friends as he was quite a popular guy, and as a teen he might like to just keep in good shape though he was born not needing to do that. Yuji doesn't strike me as the type to max out , but he trains heavy, to make it worth his time. He probably progresses really easily and once he can complete his sets with whatever weight, he just bumps it up.

Martial arts/agility: We know he didn't go to classes for this, but somehow has these skills built into him just by observation from movies and things even prior to attending Jujutsu Tech.

We could note this as a 'beginners phase'

Jujutsu Tech Training:

Here is where Yuji was actually challenged, and he just... wasn't enough. We see him break down when he realizes he can't do enough to help people close to him, so he improves and trains.

PE/ Activities: Now it starts getting more intense, they train the students to survive, there is also sparring and formal combat training here. He works on his cursed energy with others formally and informally. Don't tell me Yuji , Megumi, and Kugisaki have never tested each other's improvements, or played casual games of pick-up basketball, or whacked each other with Maki's shinai. They probably train 4-5x a week.

Weights/Calisthenics: Yuji MIGHT pick this stuff up more just for the sake of making up for lack of cursed energy in the start with brute strength. As the story progresses he might do it less because cursed energy picks up the slack. Let's put this at 3-4x a week, he does this in the mornings.

Movie watching Martial arts: Probably covered by PE, thats where he practices what he visually learned while applying cursed energy to his new moves. He probably watched a few nightly. We'll call this 'active recovery' or 'shadowboxing' as he learns new moves in his room. The movies were for him to learn emotional regulation, and produce a flow of cursed energy no matter what, so maybe 'steady state cardio?'

Diet/Recovery: I have a treat for everyone! I made a up recipe for the meatballs he makes for him and Gojo and that Megumi makes when they all think he's dead. It's really good! The recipe is 'my own' but thoroughly inspired by many online recipes, and the official recipe shown in the anime. This is very nutritious, so lets just say Yuji eats pretty good, he also seems to like steak, so he likes his protein. He does treat himself while watching movies, you should too (based on your needs and goals)!

Chicken Meatball Nabemono:

Meatball Ingredients:

300g minced chicken

1 clove of garlic, minced

3 tbsp minced ginger

1/3 cup green onion, chopped

1 tsp oyster sauce

1/2 tsp sesame oil

1 tsp sugar

1/8th tsp baking soda (for texture reminiscent of bo vien, skip if you are not fond of that texture)

3/4 tsp pepper

3/4 tsp salt

For serving: Carrot, shiitake mushrooms, cabbage (washed and chopped) + Rice or noodles

Broth:

1.5 tsp chicken bouillon (Lee Kum Kee brand or other)

0.5 tsp dashi powder

300-400 ml hot water

1 tbsp soy sauce

1 tbsp sake

2 tbsp mirin

Instructions:

In a bowl, mix the minced chicken with minced garlic, minced ginger, chopped green onion, oyster sauce, sesame oil, sugar, baking soda, pepper, and salt. Shape the mixture into small meatballs.

In a large pot or nabe (Japanese hot pot), combine the broth ingredients: chicken bouillon, dashi powder, hot water, soy sauce, sake, and mirin. Bring to a gentle simmer over medium heat.

Once the broth is simmering, carefully add the chicken meatballs, chopped carrots, shiitake mushrooms, and cabbage to the pot. Allow everything to cook until the meatballs are cooked through and the vegetables are tender.

Serve the Chicken Meatball Nabemono hot from the pot. Optionally, serve with rice or noodles on the side.

Recovery: Reversed cursed technique. We don't have that for any bumps and bruises etc... So standard procedures apply, rest, ice or warm therapy, eating well, lots of water.

-------------------------WORKOUTS PART 1 ---------------------------

-------------------------MIDDLE SCHOOL -----------------------------

And yep, since Itadori is in middle school, we're using week days since his schedule is probably pretty set

Middle School PE: (Monday, Wednesday, Friday)

Lifting with the buddies: (Monday, Friday)

Movie night and taking the long way home: (Wednesday)

Monday:

PE: Track and Field Day

5 minutes of dynamic stretches (like these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw7PdhxPCS4, I love Dr. Jo, she's helped me and family/friends a ton!)

Run 400-800m warmup (2-5 mins)

Bodyweight Exercises:

20 Pushups

20 Situps

50 Body weight squats

10 Pull ups (can be assisted if needed, and for authenticity can be done on a goalpost)

Track and Field event of your choice (20 min): relay racing with friends, working on sprints, throwing javelin or shot-put, working on long/high jump, jogging laps etc...

400-800m run finisher (2-5 mins)

Workout: Full Body A

Bench: 2-3 Warmup sets, 3 x 6 working sets, 2 sets to failure (WITH A SPOTTER AND A LIGHTER WEIGHT)

Squat: 2-3 Warmup sets, 3 x 4 working sets, 1 set of a lighter weight of about 10-12 reps

Overhead press: 2-3 Warmup sets, 3 x (8,8,5), 2 sets to failure

Pull Ups (choose a hard variation that makes you struggle): 5 x 5

Box Jumps: 3 sets to failure 2-3 mins of rest between, if your sets start getting too easy, add height to the box or a weight vest.

Push Ups: 1 set to failure

Quad Extensions/ Hamstring curls: 2 x 10 of each at a challenging weight, holding at the contraction and slow on the eccentric.

Tuesday: OFF/Long walk

Wednesday:

PE: Game Day

5 minutes of dynamic stretches (like these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw7PdhxPCS4, I love Dr. Jo, she's helped me and family/friends a ton!)

Run 400-800m warmup (2-5 mins)

Play Ball! -> Set up something with your buddies or by yourself and practice some kind of 'organized sport'. Work on 'teamwork' for bonus points.

Thursday: OFF/Long walk

Friday :

PE: Conditioning Day

5 minutes of dynamic stretches (like these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw7PdhxPCS4, I love Dr. Jo, she's helped me and family/friends a ton!)

Run 400-800m warmup (2-5 mins)

Right, I'm too lazy for this, it's gonna be some kind of orange theory shit. Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3c6aT7R_SQY

I'm comfy 'prescribing' the above because it's like the shit they made us do in MS/HS that I hated :)

Workout: Full Body B

Deadlift: Warmup, 5 x 5

Bench: 2-3 Warm up sets, 3-4 hard working-sets (heavy doubles or triples) , 1-2 lighter sets to rep failure

Leg Press: 1-2 Warm up sets, 4 x 8, 1 set to failure at the end

Dips: 2 x failure

Pull Ups: 3 x failure

Bicep Curls: 5 x 10

Lat Raises: 4 x 20

Saturday: OFF/ Play a sport with friends, get some steps in etc...

Sunday: OFF/something active like hiking or just messing around in the park, household chores etc...

-------------------------WORKOUTS PART 2 ---------------------------

------------------------- JUJUTSU TECH HIGH -------------------------

Monday:

PE:

Basketball time! Or some other fun sport, come on, it's Monday. Give yourself about 30-60 of a fun active sport, the goal is to get sweaty but have so much fun you don't feel like it's working your cardio

Cursed energy control : Honestly this could be taken as the students doing some calisthenic skill work or something. Can't do a pushup? Hold the isometric down position it'll get you strong! Working on something more advanced like a front lever or planche? Hold the progressions you can do for time! This should only take about 10 minutes of your day max (isometric training ooo -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIVlncTK6oA)

Martial Arts work: Uhh, you could do a class, shadowbox a bit, completely skip this and just move to solo training, really shouldn't be more than 20 mins - 1 hour.

Solo Training: Push

Incline Press Variation (2x warm up sets -> 3x5 working sets -> 1x max effort, lower weight, with partials burnout set)

(opt. Weighted) Dips (1 x warmup set (could even be with bands), 3 sets increasing in weight, or just to failure)

Explosive push ups (think: getting airtime) (2 x to failure)

Push Press (2 x warmup sets -> 3 x 8 -> 1x burnout with lighter weight)

Lat raises (total 100, doesn't matter how many sets, pick a challenging weight that you can get 10-20 with)

Tuesday:

PE:

Racing time! Slowest one has to clean the clean the classrooms (if you work out with friends race them, and the loser has to buy pizza or dessert next outing). Do some sprint work, sorcerers need to be quick on their feet, and students are indeed a competitive bunch.

Cursed energy control: Tempo calisthenics/weights! You can do basic push and pull ups (or pull up negatives), squats very very slowly/explode on the concentric and control the eccentric. Do them until YOU are tired because cursed energy is greatly personal. Track your times/reps just aim to improve.

Wednesday: OFF/Long walk

Thursday:

PE

Steady state cardio: This is your endurance training, stair-master, cycling, a long walk. This is your cardio for an hour, you should be getting a little sweaty but still able to chat with your friends and argue about whether you want steak or sushi after this.

Cursed energy control (isometric training): How is this different from tempo? Well it's not a ton of movement, it's just holding a position see this for ideas:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp2AMkdXM90

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkCTpBaj-AA

Solo Training: Pull

Deadlifts: (Mainly just according to feel and keeping good strength -> 5 sets broken into: 2 warmup, 3 sets ramping up in difficulty, NOT A 1rm every session, try adding a rep/set or a 5lb/2.5 kg increase per WEEK)

Rows: (2-3 x warmup sets -> 5 x 5 heavy as can be without breaking form, if your low back is too fatigued, replace with t-bar or dumbbell variation.)

Muscle Ups/Pull Ups : (2 x failure)

Lat Prayers: (4 x 10)

Curls + Face Pulls: Not terribly important (what a great thing to say lol) just go until you get a huge frikin pump with a reasonable rep range, do variations, go down the rack with drop sets, just rep like crazy (try to keep it under 25 reps per set)

Friday :

PE

Steady state cardio: Same as above

Martial Arts work: Same as above

I got tired of typing ok :P

Saturday:

Solo Training: Legs

Squats: Same as deadlifts, tumblr won't allow copy+paste

Box Jumps: (4 x 15, go higher when it feels easy )

Pistol/Shrimp Squats: 2 x to failure per leg

Leg Press: (4 x 10, reasonably heavy, focus on knees over toes)

Sprint training/ hill sprints as a finisher.

Sunday: OFF/something active like hiking or just messing around in the park, household chores etc...

[proxylynn]

Hi! I hope everything’s going good :) Just wanted to ask if you could do a headcannon about Jack trying to get some work down in his office but he keeps getting distracted by the reader? Like she’s not even doing it on purpose just little things like cleaning the factory or baking pies….

[Ah, good day to you. Things are okay. I hope all is well on your end. Funny you should mention this, such a scene is how I'm opening chapter 5 but with the context of the previous events of course and it being more angry. But I digress...Jack getting distracted by the reader who isn't purposely trying to do so...Let me think...I hope this comes out okay.]

It didn't seem like the day was any different than the last. You only started working in the factory for about a month now and you seemed to have gotten the hang of the "norm". Or as normal as you're willing to call it as a member of the cleaning staff employed by Big Jack Horner. The bakers paid you no mind. The guards made you feel uneased. And the man himself, Jack Horner, he always managed to leave you with a massive nervous lump in the pit of your gut. The man was imposing in every way. His stare could freeze hell with an icy glare.

You weren't sure why, but you tended to notice his stare linger on you sometimes. Sure, that might have been due to being in his office and him making sure you're not stupid enough to steal from him. That was what you logically thought anyway. So why? Why can't you shake the feeling of his eyes as they try to drill a hole into your back with just intensity alone? What are you to do in such a moment? You're just some cleaner in the office of your boss with your boss in the room with you, your boss that just happens to be a ruthless and remorseless guy that is known for being the cause of many to go missing. So what really are you to do? Do you stop your work to flee or do you grow a spine and tell him he's making you uncomfortable? Too slow, you don't get to make that choice.

Big Jack Horner: How long does it take you to dust a simple shelf? I swear, you've been going at it for over twenty minutes now.

You're quick to apologize, saying your mind was elsewhere.

Big Jack Horner: Get your head out of your ass. I pay you to clean, not zone out. Honestly, how do you expect to finish if you just stand there?

Again, you apologize.

Big Jack Horner: Bah, forget it. Move on to something else.

You give an obedient nod and start to clean the floor. Yet once more you feel his eyes on you. Something about it this time makes you respond without thinking. You ask if there's something the matter.

Big Jack Horner: Yeah. You're not doing it right. You'll never get this place spotless at this rate. Really put your back into it. Scrub like the dirt owes you money.

A strange suggestion but one that works. You're tackling things like you want to strangle someone, being rather noisy about it too. The grunts and huffs you make are quite amusing. The feel of his stare is on you again. Though something is different. There's no other sounds. So the only noise is you. You try to hold it in. But doing so results in you making garbled straining sounds like you're drowning a squeak toy. A new sound accompanies this after a while. Chuckling.

Big Jack Horner: Heheheh...The hell are you doing? Trying to clean or forcing yourself into constipation?

You weren't expecting a jape like that. But giving it thought, you did sound pretty ridiculous, so you couldn't blame him there. You join in on the mirth of it all when the tone shifts. The moment ends with you daring to enjoy this and him seeing that as a moment of weakness.

Big Jack Horner: Do I need to have you removed? Because there's gotta be someone here that can clean this room without me needing to watch them like a damn hawk! At this rate, I'm going to have to stay in late to fix your crap. Now what are you going to do?

Without a word, you resume your duties. Trying harder to not only get the job done, but to remain composed all while he keeps his eyes on you and only you.

[titan-fodder]

I'm just gonna start doing ask dumps cause there's a lot.

I'd like to say posting these isn't intended to be a cry for attention, but I'm sure some people will see it that way anyway. I'm just trying to address both the support and the hate, so like here I go.

probably like I'm almost starting to feel bad lmao

yeah that "let's all be kind" mentality does not work in the real world. 🚩🚩🚩 righteous anger. I like that.

I am a little white girl, so I can only imagine what it's like to deal with anything even slightly similar to this (and I'm really not even trying to equate the two at all cause like you said, entirely different thing). but I would guess it's incredibly frustrating. so I'm sorry this petty shit brought that to mind cause you shouldn't have to deal with it.

but for real, thank you for the support 💕

LOL RIGHT? I was like "um okay? cool?" like moving on

bfkdhfkd that made me think of The Office when Michael is like "I'm gonna date her even harder"

but yeah like I know my response wasn't nice, but it could have been so much worse. and the only reason it's even blown up this big is cause I can't shut my god damn mouth but whatever

this this this this.

like for some reason we're not allowed to snap? whyyy I don't get it. people really think we're all robots. just push content out and have zero feelings whatsoever. it's been a problem for a long time but now it's really smacking me in the face.

thank you ❤️

yeah dude it just got messy. I'm sure some artists have been asked shit like that before though and ugh I feel so sorry for them. artists and writers alike are a gift lol like I would be nowhere without fanart.

interaction has been down fs. I'm just trying to like not pay attention to it I guess. I got very used to low interaction once I started writing for Sir Nighteye specifically. it was a reminder that like oh not everyone loves this character the way I do. and that's okay! just adjust your expectations I guess.

exactly go to the tags and find someone who writes for the character you wanna see. it's not that hard. there are so many talented writers on this platform and others. so go appreciate their content. don't fucking beg for more. just appreciate what they have.

right? like am I not... allowed... to show human emotion?

it's so hard to understand the effort put in when you've never made it yourself. cause yeah I was a silent reader for a long long time. then once I started posting here I was like "awww comments make me feel good. they probably make others feel good too" so I try to drop love (like the real kind, not the 'i love this now give me more' kind) when I read or see something I enjoy.

and yeah like other anons may not have worded it exactly the same way, but I'm sure many of them have pouted over not getting the content they want boohoo

I love you, kee 💕

[thewidowsghost]

The Daughter of the Sea - Chapter 9

(Y/n)'s POV

It doesn't take me long to pack. I decide to leave the Minotaur horn in the cabin, which leaves me only an extra change of clothes and a toothbrush to stuff in a backpack Grover had found for me.

The camp store loans me one hundred dollars in mortal money and twenty golden drachmas. The coins are as big as Girl Scout cookies and have images of various Greek Gods stamped on one side and the Empire State Building on the other. The ancient mortal drachmas had been silver, Chiron had told us, but Olympins never used less than pure gold. Chiron said the coins might come in for non-mortal transactions - whatever that might mean. He gives Annabeth, Percy, and me canteens of nectar and Ziploc bags full of ambrosia squares, to be used only in emergencies, if we were seriously hurt. It is god food, Chiron reminds us. It would cure us of almost any injury, but it is lethal to mortals. Too much of it would make a half-blood very, very feverish. An overdose would burn us up, literally, Fun.

Annabeth is bringing her magic Yankees cap, which she tells me had been a twelfth-birthday present from her mom. She is also bringing a book on famous classical architecture, written in Ancient Greek, to read when she gets bored, and a long bronze knife, hidden in her shirt sleeve. I'm sure the knife is going to get us busted the first time we go through a metal detector.

Grover is wearing his fake feet and his pants to pass as a human. He wears a green rasta-style cap, because when it rains his curly hair flattened and you can just see the tips of his horns. Grover's bright orange backpack is full of scrap metal and apples to snack on. In his pocket is a set of reed pipes his daddy goat had carved for him, even though he only knows two songs: Mozart's Piano Concerto Number 12 and Hilary Duff's 'So Yesterday,' both of which sound pretty bad on reed pipes.

We wave good-bye to the other campers, take one last look at eh strawberry fields, the ocean, and the Big House, then hike up the Half-Blood Hill to the tall pine tree that used to be Thalia, the Daughter of Zeus.

Chiron is waiting for us in his wheelchair. Next to him stands the surfer dude I'd seen when I was recovering in the sick room. According to Grover, the guy is the camp's head of security. He supposedly had eyes all over his body so he could never be surprised. Today, though, he's wearing a chauffeur's uniform, so I can only see the extra eyes on his hands, face, and neck.

"This is Argus," Chiron tells me. "He'll drive you into the city, and, er, well, keep an eye on things."

I hear footsteps behind us.

Luke comes running up the hill, carrying a pair of basketball shoes. "Hey!" he pants. "Glad I caught you."

Annabeth blushes, the way she always does when Luke is around.

"Just wanted to say good luck," Luke tells us. "And I thought . . . um, maybe you could use these."

He hands Percy a pair of sneakers, which look pretty normal.

Then, Luke says, "Maia!"

White bird's wings sprouted out of the heels. The shoes flap around on the ground until the wings fold up and disappear.

"Awesome!" Grover exclaims.

Luke smiles. "Those served me well when I was on my quest. Gift from Dad. Of course, I don't use them much these days...." His expression turns sad.

Annabeth stomps down the other side of the hill, after arguing with Percy, where a white SUV waits on the shoulder of the road. Argus follows, jingling his car kees.

Percy picks up the flying shoes and then looks up at Chiron. "I won't be able to use these, will I?"

Chiron shakes his head. "Luke meant well, Percy. But taking to the air...that would not be wise for you."

I nod, getting an idea, "Hey, Grover. You want a magic item?"

His eyes light up. "Me?"

Pretty soon, we'd laced the sneakers over his fake feet, and the world's first flying goat boy is ready for launch.

"Maia!" Grover shouts. He gets off the ground, okay, but then falls over sideways so his backpack drags through the grass. The winged shoes keep bucking up and down like tiny broncos.

"Practice," Chiron calls after him. "You just need practice."

"Aaaaa!" Grover goes flying sideways down the hill like a possessed lawnmower, heading towards the can.

But before I can follow, Chiron catches my arm. "I should have trained you two better, Percy, (Y/n)," he says. "If only I had more time. Hercules, Jason - they all got more training."

"That's okay. I just -" I stop myself.

"What am I thinking?" Chiron cries. "I can't let the two of you get away without these." He pulls two pens out of his coat pocket and hands one to me and one to Percy.

Looking down at it, I see a teal-colored gel pen. Maybe cost thirty cents.

"Gee," Percy says. "Thanks."

"Percy, those are gifts from your father. I've been keeping them for years, not knowing you two were the ones I was waiting for. But the prophecy is clear to me now. You two are the ones."

Instinctively I take off the cap, and the pen grows longer and heavier in my hand. In half a second, I am holding a shimmering bronze sword with a double-edged blade, a teal and silver leather-wrapped grip. This is the first weapon that feels balanced in my hand.

"That sword has a long and tragic history that we need not go into," Chiron tells Percy. "Its name is Anaklusmos."

"Riptide," Percy translates.

"I have never seen anyone use that sword that I'm aware of," Chiron says, turning to me. "Yours is named Τυφώνας."

"Hurricane," I translate, surprised that the Ancient Greek came so easily to me.

"Use them only for emergencies," Chiron says, "and only against monsters. No hero should harm mortals unless absolutely necessary, of course, but neither sword would hurt them in any case."

I look down at the wickedly sharp blade. "What do you mean it wouldn't harm mortals? How could it not?"

"Those swords are celestial bronze. Forged by the Cyclopes, tempered in the heart of Mount Etna, cooled in the River Lethe. It's deadly to monsters, to any creature from the Underworld, provided they don't kill you first. But the blades will pass through morals like an illusion. They simply are not important for the blade to kill. And I should warn you two: as demigods, you can be killed by either celestial or normal weapons. You are twice as vulnerable."

"Good to know," Percy says.

"Now recap the pens," Chiron says.

Percy and I touch the pen cap to the sword tips and instantly Riptide and Hurricane shrink to ballpoint pens again. I tuck it in my pocket, a little nervous because it's pretty easy to lose a pen.

"You can't," Chiron says.

"Can't what?" I ask, slightly confused.

"Lose the pens," he says. "They're enchanted. They'll always reappear in your pockets. Try it."

Warily, I throw the pen as far as I can down the hill and watch it disappear in the grass.

"It may take a few moments," Chiron tells us. "Now check your pocket."

Sure enough, the pen is there.

"Okay, that is extremely cool," I admit.

"But what if a mortal sees one of us pulling out a sword?" Percy asks.

Chiron smiles. "Mist is a powerful thing, Percy."

"Mist?" I ask.

"Yes. Read The Iliad. It's full of references to the stuff. Whatever divine or monstrous elements mix with the mortal world, they generate Mist, which obscures the vision of humans. You will see things just as they are, being a half-blood, but humans will interpret things quite differently. Remarkable, really, the lengths to which humans will go fit things into their version of reality.

I put Hurricane back into my pocket.

For the first time, the quest feels real. I'm leaving Half-Blood Hill. I'm heading west with no adult supervision, no backup plan, not even a cell phone - Chiron said cell phones were traceable by monsters; if we used one, it would be no worse than sending up a flare. I have no weapon stronger than a sword to fight off monsters and reach the Land of the Dead.

"Chiron . . ." Percy says. "When you say the gods are immortal . . . I mean, there was a time before them, right?"

"Four ages before them, actually. The Time of the Titans was the Fourth Age, sometimes called the Golden Age, which is definitely a misnomer. This, the time of Western civilization and the rule of Zeus, is the Fifth Age."

"So what was it like...before the gods?"

Chiron purses his lips. "Even I am not old enough to remember that, child, but I know it was a time of darkness and savagery for mortals. Kronos, the lord of the Titans, called his reign the Golden Age because men lived innocent and free of all knowledge. But that was mere propaganda. The Titan king cared nothing for your kind except as appetizers or a source of cheap entertainment. It was only in the early reign of Lord Zeus, when Prometheus the good Titan brought fire to mankind, that your species began to progress, and even then Prometheus was branded a radical thinker. Zeus punished him severely, as you may recall. Of course, eventually, the gods warmed to humans, and Western civilization was born."

"But the gods can't die now, right? I mean, as long as Western civilization is alive, they're alive. So...even if I failed, nothing could happen so bad it would mess up everything, right?" I ask, feeling rather uncertain.

Chiron gives me a melancholy smile. "No one knows how long the Age of the West will last, (Y/n). The gods are immortal, yes. But then, so were the Titans. They still exist, locked away in their various prisons, forced to endure endless pain and punishment, reduced in power, but still very much alive. May the Fates forbid that the gods should ever suffer such a doom, or that we should ever return to the darkness and chaos of the past. All we can do, child, is follow our destiny."

"Our destiny...assuming we know what that is," I say grimly.

"Relax," Chiron tells me. "Keep a clear head. And remember, the two of you may be about to prevent the biggest war in human history."

"Relax," I say. "I'm very relaxed."

When Percy and I get to the bottom of the hill, I look back. Under the pine tree that used to be Thalia, daughter of Zeus, Chiron is now standing in full horse-man form, holding his bow high in salute. Just your typical summer-camp send-off by your typical centaur."

Argus drives us out of the countryside and into western Long Island, It feels weird to be on a highway again, Annabeth and Grover sitting next to me, Percy on the other side of Grover, as if we were normal carpoolers. After two weeks at Half-Blood Hill, the real world seems like a fantasy. I find myself staring at every McDonald's, every kid in the back of his parent's car, every billboard and shopping mall.

"So far so good," Percy tells Annabeth. "Ten miles and not a single monster."

She gives Percy an irritated loo. "It's bad luck to talk that way."

"Remind me again - why do you hate us so much?" Percy asks.

"I don't hate you two."

"Could've fooled me."

Annabeth folds her cap of invisibility. "Look...we're just not supposed to get along, okay? Our parents are rivals."

"Why?" Percy asks.

Annabeth sighs. "How many reasons do you want? One time my mom caught Poseidon with his girlfriend in Athena's temple, which is hugely disrespectful. Another time, Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens. Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift. My mom created the olive tree. The people saw that her gift was better, so they named the city after her."

"They must really like olives," Percy comments, and I stifle a snort of laughter.

"Oh, forget it," Annabeth grumbles.

"Now, if she invented pizza - that I could understand," I add, in a slightly teasing tone.

"I said, forget it!" Annabeth says, hitting me lightly on the arm.

In the front seat, Argus smiles. He doesn't say anything, but one blue eye on the back of his neck winks at me.

Traffic slows down in Queens. By the time we get into Manhattan, it is sunset and starting to rain.

Argus drops us at the greyhound Station on the Upper East Side, not far from my mom and Gabe's apartment. Taped to a mailbox is a soggy flyer with mine and Percy's picture on it: Have you seen these children?

Percy rips it down before Annabeth and Grover can notice.

Argus unloads our bags, makes sure we get our bus tickets, then drives away, the eye on the back of his hand opening to watch us as he pulls out of the parking lot.

I think about how close I am to the apartment. On a normal day, Mom would be home from the candy store by now. Smelly Gabe is probably up there right now, playing poker, not even missing her.

Grover shoulders his backpack. He gazes down the street in the direction I am looking. "You want to know why she married him, (Y/n)?"

I stare at him. "Were you reading my mind?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Just your emotions," Grover shrugs. "You were thinking about your mom and your stepdad, right?"

I nod.

"Your mom married Gabe for you and Percy," Grover tells me. "You call him 'Smelly,' but you've got no idea. This guy has this aura . . . Yuck. I can smell him from here. I can smell traces of him o you, and you haven't been near him in a week."

"Thanks," Percy grimaces from Grover's other side. "Where's the nearest shower?"

"You should be grateful, Percy. Your stepfather smells so repulsively human he could mask the presence of any demigod. As soon as I took a whiff inside his Camaro, I knew: Gabe has been covering your scent for years. If you hadn't lived with him every summer, you probably would've been found by monsters a long time ago. Your mom stayed with him to protect you. She was a smart lady. She must've loved you a lot to put up with that guy—if that makes you feel any better."

I soften, looking down a the ground. I'll see her again, I think. She isn't gone.

You will be betrayed by one who calls you a friend, the Oracle whispers in my mind. You will fail to save what matters most in the end.

The rain keeps coming down.

We get restless waiting for the bus and decide to play some Hacky Sack with one of Groer's apples. Annabeth was unbelievable at it. She could bounce the apple off her knee, her elbow, her shoulder, whatever. Percy wasn't too bad either, but I found that I wasn't that great at it.

The game ends when I toss the apple towards Grover and it gets too close to his mouth. In one mega goat bite, our Hacky Sack disappears - core, stem, and all.

Grover blushes. He tries to apologize, but Annabeth, Percy, and I are too busy cracking up.

Finally, the bus comes.

I am relieved when we finally get on board and find seats together in the back of the bus, Me and Annabeth in one row, and Percy and Grover across from us. The four of us stow our backpacks.

I glance over at Annabeth beside me, who keeps slapping her Yankees cap nervously against her thigh.

As the last passengers get on, Annabeth claps her hand onto my knee. "Look!"

An old lady had just boarded the bus. She is wearing a crumpled velvet dress, lace gloves, and a shapeless orange-knit hat that shadows her face and she is carrying a big paisley purse. When she tilts her head up, her black eyes glitter.

I see Percy slump down in his seat.

Behind her comes two more old ladies: one in a green hat, one in a purple hat. Otherwise, they look exactly like Mrs. Dodds - same gnarled hands, paisley handbags, wrinkled velvet dress. Triple demon grandmothers.

They sit in the front row, right behind the driver. The two on the aisle cross their legs over the walkway, making an X. It is casual enough, but it sends a clear message: Nobody leaves.

The bus pulls out of the station, and we head through the slick streets of Manhattan.

"She didn't stay dead long," Percy says, his voice quavering a little. "I thought you said they could be dispelled for a lifetime."

"I said if you're lucky," Annabeth murmurs. "You're obviously not."

"All three of them," Grover whimpers. "Di immortales!"

"It's okay," Annabeth says, obviously thinking hard. "The Furies. The worst monsters from the Underworld. No problem. No problem. We'll just slip out the windows."

"They don't open," Grover moans.

"A back exit?" she suggests.

There isn't one. Even if there had been, it wouldn't have helped. By that time, we are on Ninth Avenue heading for the Lincoln Tunnel.

"They won't attack us with witnesses around," I say. "Will they?"

"Mortals don't have good eyes," Annabeth reminds me. "Their brains can only process what they see through the Mist."

"They'll see three old ladies killing us, won't they?" Percy asks.

She thinks about it. "Hard to say. But we can't count on mortals for help. Maybe an emergency exit in the roof . . . ?"

We hit the Lincoln Tunnel, and the bus goes dark except for the running lights down teh aisle. It is eerily quiet without the sound of the rain.

"I need to use the rest-room."

"So do I."

"So do I."

All three demons start coming down the aisle.

"I've got it," Annabeth says. "Percy, take my hat."

"What?" he says with disbelief.

"You're the one they want. You killed one of them. Turn invisible and go up the aisle. Let them pass you. Maybe you can get to the front and get away."

"But you guys -"

"There's an outside chance they might not notice us," Annabeth says as she glances over at me. "You're a son of the Big Three. Your smell might be overpowering."

"I can't just leave you," Percy says, looking desperately at me.

"Go," I say, frowning and Annabeth hands him the cap.

The old ladies are not old ladies anymore. Their faces are still the same - I guessed they couldn't get any uglier - but their bodies had shriveled into leathery brown hag bodies with bat's wings and hands and feet like gargoyle claws; their handbags had turned into fiery whips.

The Furies surround me, Grover, and Annabeth, lashing their whips, hissing: "Where is it? Where?"

The other people on the bus are screaming, cowering in their seats. They see something, all right.

"He's not here!" Annabeth yells. "He's gone!"

The Furies raise their whips.

Annabeth draws her bronze knife. Grover grabs a tin can from his snack bag and prepares to throw it.

Word Count: 3222 words

[aro-culture-is]

Hey how do you know you're aro. I'm too young to be in a romantic relationship and the two times that I was, I either forgot I was dating a guy cause he just walked up to me and asked and never talked to me again afterwards. Or I kissed a guy freaked out and broke things off immediately. I like reading romance and shipping characters together but, I don't think I really want that for myself it'd be cool to be affectionate with someone but you don't really need romance to do that right? I'm just worried I might not actually be aro and I'm just thinking I might be cause I feel at home talking to everyone in the lgbtq community. Everyone is nice and pleasant to hang out with and I want to be apart of It too but, I don't wanna like barge in saying hey I'm aro when I might not be. Sorry if this alot I'm kinda rambling at this point.

Hi! Honestly the best way I can think of to describe my personal take is this: you are too immature to be in a romantic relationship if you can’t imagine establishing boundaries with them or talking to other people when you’re with them.

Both are important for healthy relationships - and you might not be perfect at them even then! In order for a partner to respect your boundaries, you have to communicate them. And while we’d obviously like every relationship to be healthy, if it is unhealthy, having a support network outside of that relationship is extremely important to spotting it, knowing when its time to get out, and doing so. If a partner regularly encourages you to only spend time with them or actively discourages (especially in a jealous manner) ever spending time with other people and is unwilling to discuss it, that’s a big red flag.

I don’t think age alone is a good metric for maturity, though.

However, your question seems to actually be “am I aro?” which is completely different. I can’t tell you if you are aromantic, but I can tell you that if you don’t think you feel romantic attraction (such as, you don’t feel innately drawn to dating a specific/multiple specific people and doing traditionally romantic things with them), you’re welcome to identify as aro. If you aren’t sure if you do feel romantic attraction, you’re welcome to identify as aro. 

Questioning people are allowed in the community - just because the big Q we talk about now is queer doesn’t mean that questioning folks are no longer allowed. Usually, that’s what the Q meant in LGBTQ up until partway through my high school years.

I personally am a huge fan of trying on labels if I think they might fit me, just as I would try on clothes. It might look good on the rack but not fit me. Or maybe it might not fit perfectly, but I love it anyways or decide it’s good enough for now. Maybe I elect to leave empty handed rather than spend more money (time) on something that doesn’t bring me joy. Perfect fits are often tricky, and sometimes you even find later in life that you no longer like it as much. That doesn’t mean anything bad about you or the clothes (labels) that you tried on. Of course, a lot of people find clothes they love and that do fit them well, or even make their own!

- mod kee

disclaimer under readmore:

Hi, I'm an internet stranger. I am one person. I will speak from my personal perspective. I happen to be more visible in the aro community than some, and this puts me in a unique position where I am asked many types of questions. I will do my best, but I am not representative of all aromantic people, or even my specific identities of non-sam or loveless. Sometimes, I might say something and later disagree with that stance. Treat me as the unqualified stranger I am.

[moonflower-31]

You Found Me - Gabriel x Reader

Warnings: Language? Somewhat? Oh and some self doubt, but not a lot. There is a looot of angst though. This is part of a two part oneshot. Hope you enjoy the feels.

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

Character(s): Gabriel, Dean, Sam, Castiel

You were worried, to put it simply. Gabriel had told you three weeks ago he'd start to change. That he would take you out more. See you more in general. Not go off to Chuck knows where, doing who knows what.

You were worried. Yeah. That's the word. You were also pissed. Pissed he hadn't answered your prayers at all in those three weeks. Dean and Sam and Cas had all been through all the ways to try and bring him back, figure out what was going on, except to summon him. You had insisted that be the first thing they do, but Cas had intervened. He had said that if Gabriel was gone somewhere, that it was probably good reason. And that he would answer them in other ways.

But look where that got you?

"Look, kid, I know you miss your archangel douche of a boyfriend but-" Dean starts, looking up from the table he sat at in the main library. You rolled your eyes and looked up from your lore book on angels.

"But what? Dean? He might actually be in real danger! And you're sitting there--eating take out!" You exclaim, gesturing to his heart-attack-inducing food in front of him. Dean immediately gave you an offended glare and wrapped an arm around his food. You rolled your eyes again, and then put your eyes back to the book you were reading. No one would tell you the summoning for an archangel. And since the only archangel that would be able to be summoned would be Gabriel, you figured your chances of getting his ass back here were pretty good.

"Come on, let him live a little! I mean, I don't like the guy but every now and then, a guy has to have his alone time. Find himself. I did it. Sam's done it more than once." Dean reminds. You shake your head. Dean continues. "What I'm saying is maybe you should stop trying to summon him and let him come when he's ready. I'm sure he's fine, alright? He would have let you of all people know he was in danger if he was." Dean reminds again.

You grumble and slam the book in your hands closed. "You know what? I'm done. Done with you, and Sam, and Cas's petty excuses! It's like you don't even care!" You exclaim, and stomp out of the library.

You stomp off and slam the door to your room closed, locking it behind you as you collapse onto your bed, wishing and praying for Gabriel to return.

He hadn't returned in three weeks. Not even when you were in danger on hunts and you prayed to him. It made you question if he even loved you anymore. The thought of it made you sick. But it was possible.

You felt your chest heave and tears began to pour from your eyes as you sat back up and pulled the book from where you had dropped it beside the bed. You began wiping away your tears only for new ones to take their place. You opened the book and kept scouring the pages as a knock came to your door.  You immediately hid the book under your sheets and then stood up, and went to the door.

"Who is it?" You ask.

"Castiel. Dean said you were upset."

"Go away Cas. I'm fine. Just distraught over your damn older brother, nothing new." You grumbled, walking away from the door and sitting back on your bed.

A flutter of wings sounds and you look up, finding the trenchcoated angel standing at the foot of your bed. "Y/N... Gabriel will be okay. I promise." He says, looking at you with as sincere enough eyes as an angel can probably muster.

You let out a sad chuckle. "Really Cas? Same speech as last time? I just want him back... I don't want to lose him..." you say, hugging your arms for a moment as you fight the incoming tears. Castiel walks over and wraps his arms around you in a comforting hug, letting you wrap your own arms around him as he holds you. You're appreciative of the gesture as he lets you cry, and lays you down on the bed when you fall asleep. Your first real sleep in days.

~~~~

When you reawaken, it's later in the day, around midnight. You sigh and check your bed, seeing the book still there. You bring it out and start flipping through it, until you find it. And after a few quick translations, find out what you needed for summoning your absent boyfriend.

You write a quick note of the ingredients you needed, and then got up. You had some of the ingredients. But lacked two. You needed some herbs and some leaves that were hard to come by. So you needed to talk to someone.

"Yeah, those'll do. Thanks. I'll be down to pick them up in a few hours. Thanks." You say, hanging up on the friend who owed you a few favors. He had some of the ingredients that you needed. And all you needed now was to put it all together. And say the chant, of course.

You were walking out of your room, when Sam stopped you. You raise an eyebrow as the tall, moose-like man stood in your way.

"Uh...Sam? What are you doing?" You ask, a bag of essentials on your back.

Sam gives you a bitch face. "Really? You really don't think I didn't see you sneak that book into your room? I've read it. And it has what we've been telling you we shouldn't be doing. Wait it out. Alright? I promise, it's all gonna be okay-" Sam starts.

At this point, you were done of hearing that. After so many instances of Dean, Sam, Cas, hell, even Charlie saying it, you were done. Absolutely done. So you snapped.

You immediately shoved Sam out of the way as soon as his guard was down, pinning his sleeve to the wall with one of your knifes. Sam calls out to Dean to alert him of your escape, but you're too quick. You race up the stairs behind you and then you exit the bunker, racing down the road as adrenaline fills your veins.

You didn't dare take the Impala, knowing Dean would kill you if you did.  He rarely let Sam off the hook when he took it. So what's to say he wouldn't kill you?

You finally slowed down near a gas n' sip, and found an abandoned car. You went into the store for a moment, and picked out a few of Gabriel's favorite sweets. You took them to the counter and payed for them before going back outside, and hotwiring the abandoned car.

The adrenaline had finally left you after you'd been on the road for awhile. You'd left your phone at the Gas n' Sip, so you weren't able to be tracked. Damn Sam and Charlie's hacking abilities.

You finally pulled up to your buddy's place around 4 am, and parked in their driveway.

"Damn, Y/N, you look great for three years gone." Your old pal Brad said as he opened the door. He opened the door for you to come in soon after, drinking a beer.

You smile but shake your head. "I'm sorry, but this is an urgent hunt. I need those ingredients now." You say.  Brad chuckled.

"Really? You ain't gonna sit down and tell me how you've been with those... those uh.." Brad starts.

"Winchesters." You remind, nodding a bit. "Yeah uh... not now. I don't exactly have the time. But uh... I promise, ill come by soon. Okay?" You promise. Brad chuckled.

"I'm just messing with ya. I know you're busy. Just lemme know if I can help at all. Okay? Any time of night or day. I've got open ears." Brad says, smirking at you with a broken smile. You smiled and nodded.

Brad soon disappeared behind the door, and after five minutes returned with the herbs you needed.

"Take care now. Call me if you ever need anything else." He says as he sees you off. You nod, and wave back at him as you climb back into your stolen car and pull back onto the dark road.

It wasn't until 5 am that you found the place. It was old, it was rusty. It was perfect. You found an old table and set everything up. You used your lighter and lit up the ingredients, soon after uttering the chant.

"Rah ah gah ee oh es Vee nu nohno kee ah seh peh teh poh ah ma lah deh zod" you utter, and a bright light enters the room. You shield your eyes and wait a few moments before you hear him.

"Really? You're resulting to summoning me?" Gabriel grumbles, looking at you annoyedly. "Im busy, Sugar." He says.

You weren't listening. You were merely relieved that he was okay. You walk around the table, and then wrap your arms around him, almost too tightly.

Then he pushes you away.

"Sugar, please. I'm busy. Can't this wait?" Gabriel asks. You look up at him dejected.

"Busy? You're just 'busy'?" You ask, venom and hurt in your voice. Gabriel looks a bit hurt by your words, but doesn't react otherwise.

"You promise me that you'll spend more time with me, cuddle more, hang out more, watch more movies, but no. No you're 'busy'" you hiss, looking at Gabriel with tears in your eyes.

"Yeah, I am. I’m not gonna keep having this conversation right now. Like I said, I'm busy. I have somethings I need to do." He says, looking at you.

You furrow your eyebrows. You stomp forward and you grab his collar. "You know what would have been appreciated? Gabriel? If you would let me know you were okay! I've been worried about you this entire time! 'What if he's been kidnapped and he's being tortured? What if it's my fault?' Wow, but you're too busy!" You spat, shoving him back and turning away from him.

Gabriel sighed. "Y/N, please, okay? I couldn't get back to you. And besides, this isn't something you should be worried about. I don't understand why you were so worried-" he says. You nod your head as you turned back around. You were done.

"Why am I so worried? Gabriel I have lost so many people, so many. So yeah, im sorry that I just don't want to lose another. Especially not you. But no, you can't understand that, can you?" You growl back. Gabriel rolled his eyes and went to speak again.

"Don't twist my own words against me-" he starts. You shook your head and pointed in his face.

"No, no you need to listen. You, don't understand how hurt you've made me. How badly, I kept thinking about myself. Thinking that you just didn't love me anymore. So you know what? I'm done. I don't care of you still do, or still don't. I'm done." You snap, shoving him back as you toss the altar over.

Gabriel goes to speak again, panick filling his eyes. But you shake your head.

"No, Gabriel. You've done enough damage." You hiss. "Come find me when you understand how I felt." You say before you cut your hand and start drawing a sigil on the wall.

"Sugar, please, we can talk this out-" he starts, walking towards you just as you finish the sigil and hit against it with your hand, sending him back wherever you'd summoned him.

You felt tears re-emerge from your eyes as you walk out of the building and climb into your car. You turn it back on and start driving down the road, sniffling a bit as you decided that enough was enough. You stopped by another Gas n' Sip and walked up to the pay phone.

You dialed a number in after using the last of the money you'd brought. After a few rings, the line picked up.

"Hey Brad... mind if I cash in that favor?"

[foxythenyancat1967]

Romanji, the real first step to learning Japanese

I know most approaches to teaching Japanese usually jump right into Hiragana (the primary Japanese writing system) but i don't think this is the place to start.

For example if you don't know any japanese you can't read this: [かつどん]

But you can read this right?: [katsudon]

No, you can't.

I'm gonna guess that you just read it like this[cat-soo-don]

This is where most of the trouble people have with pronouncing words in Japanese comes from- even with a basic knowledge of Hiragana you won't really know what any word sounds like.

Japanese is a syllabary. Which means that every single letter in it is a syllable. Every one of those syllables has a constant and a vowel (except for N, sometimes. I'll get to that later), and there are only five vowels.

Of course if you write a Japanese word in Hiragana people in English speaking countries wouldn't be able to read it, so we use a system called Romanji where we write words in English letters. The only problem with this is that only the consonants in Romanji are based on English, the vowels are based on Italian.

Now that we know that, lets look at this chart (sorry about the handwriting!):

The first row is how its originally written, The second row is how they're written in Romanji, And the last row is how you should pronounce it with acctual English letters.

But wait! Theres a few more things to remember:

Firstly I'm not exactly sure when but え can also be an AY sound (Hay, Yay, eight)

you know when you pronounce words in English you usally emphasize certain syllables? Like rocket, hello, happy? If someone said happy it would sound wierd right? In Japanese you should never emphasize U or I sounds. (sometimes you don't even say them!) So when you see [Yusuke] or something it's not [you-soo-kee] it's [you-s-keh]. [Mashita] isn't [mash-i-ta] it's [mah-sh-tah]

Next: the R. a stereotype Japanese accent replaces Ls with Rs right? This is because there are no L or R sounds in Japanese. "But how?" You ask, "I've seen words with Rs!" Well there is a sound that is written in Romanji with an R because we don't have it in English. (ら[ra],り[ri],る[ru],れ[re], and ろ[ro]) The sound is more like a cross between an L, an R, and a D. (to make this sound, touch your tongue to the top of your mouth like you were making a D sound, then curve it like you were making an L.)

Remember when i said that every syllable has one constant and one vowel? There are three exceptions to this.

つ [tsu]: which may look like two consonants but that's just because there's no TS sound in English

ん [n]: there are Japanese letters that start with N and have vowels (な[na], に[ni], ぬ[nu], ね[ne], and の[no]) but N is the only letter that can be by itself (it's still a separate syllable!)

Contractions: when a letter is followed by a small letter it makes a contraction. This is where the first letter's vowel is replaced by the entire second, small letter. so if you see, for example [きゃ] (a ki with a tiny ya) isn't [kee-yah] it's just [kyah]. There's also [きょ] (kyo), [にゅ] (nyu), [ひょ](hyo), etc.

And then there's a っ contraction! All this does is it doubles the consonant after it creating a kind of jump in btween. So if you have [がこう] it's [gah-koh-oo] but if you add a tiny つ it becomes [がっこう] [gahk,koh-oo] (to pronounce this, hold your mouth in the position you would have it when making the sound for a second before finishing it)

So! Now that we know all of this let's try again!

[Katsudon] [kah-ts-doh-n] Great!

Of course i'm not an expert at this, I've only been studing Japanese for about a year, but if i had known this when i started it would have been easier to learn.

Japanese, like all new languages, may seem really confusing at first but once you get through all of this kind of stuff, it's really fun! I hope this was a good stepping stone or maybe even got you interested in learning Japanese!

がんばってください！(please do your best!)

[mylittledragonhoard]

Drabble Challenge! From that thing you reblogged earlier. Either "You're not interested, are you?" OR "I'm not wearing a dress/tie." Go as angsty or as silly as you like.

Thank you for the request. I decided to do both! I’ll post the other one tomorrow! And remember you were the one who said go angsty or as silly as I like~ * innocent angel face*

Character death ahead.

“I’m not wearing a dress/tie.”

“I’m notwearing a tie.” Ten-year-old Kili Oakley insisted stubbornly as hisalready frazzled band director held out the solid red material.

“It’s part ofthe uniform, Killian. Everyone has to wear one tonight. You can take it offonce you’re done playing.” She insisted as she shook her hand a bit sohe’d take it.

He didn’t. And eventhe use of his full name wasn’t enough to persuade him. “They chokeme.” He glowered at the offending article of clothing. “I’m notwearing it!”

The director made afrustrated noise and looked as though shewas going to be the one that choked him, but before that happened a voicestopped her.

“Ties are coolman. You should wear it.”

Both Kili and hisband director looked over to find Fili Durin standing there, blond hair slickedback so not a strand was out of place and his own tie neatly in place aroundhis neck.

While the banddirector let out a relieved sigh, Kili stared wide eyed at the coolest kid inthe band. Fili was a year older than Kili and could pretty much play anyinstrument, but he was mainly their only First Clarinet. He was better thananyone else in the band, and Kili had heard rumours that he even played for ahigh school band sometimes. This, of course, made him the coolest person ever.

“Fili, if you canget him to wear his tie, I’ll consider letting you skip practice for the restof the week.” The director handed the material off to the other student beforemoving along to the next crisis that was beginning to happen in the trumpetsection.

Kili fidgeted, facered as Fili looked at him and grinned. They’d never actually had a conversationbefore. Kili was the opposite of cool and could barely play Third Flute letalong First.

“What do you haveagainst ties?” Fili asked even as he stepped closer, straightening the materialin his hands.

Kili wrinkled hisnose, focusing on the tie instead of Fili so that hopefully he’d stop blushing.“They choke me…and they make me look like a dork.” He admitted, but Fili waswearing a tie so they couldn’t be so bad, right?

The blond laughedeven as he held both ends of the tie and threw the loop over Kili’s head, handsimmediately folding it into a proper knot. “The tie isn’t what makes you looklike a dork, you dork.” Fili’s grin softened the insult, and the sight ofdimples on the other boy’s cheeks was enough to make Kili return the grin.“There. If it starts to choke you, just tug down like this.” He explained as hedemonstrated just how to tug the knot.

To Kili’s surprise,the tie didn’t feel too tight at all, and he was able to slide the knot quiteeasily without it coming apart on him. “Thanks.” He could actually wear it now.

“No problem.” Filipromised even as he ruffled Kili’s messy brown hair, making the younger boysqueak and bring his hands up to try to fix what had already been a mess. “Seeyou on stage dork!” Laughing, Fili made his way back to where he’d been settingup his own instrument.

***

“Fili! Help me!”Kili whined from somewhere deep in his closet, clothing getting tossed out andonto the floor. “I don’t know what to wear!” He stumbled out, a t-shirt wrappedaround his neck and a pair of shoes tangled around one ankle.

The blond stretchedout across his bed looked up from his science textbook with an amused grin.“Clothing is always a good choice. That shirt really brings out your eyes.” Heteased, motioning to the shirt around Kili’s neck.

The brunet groanedas he unwrapped it and flung it to the floor. “I’m serious. This is my firstdate and I want to make a good impression! Help me!” Kili literally got down onhis knees and walked to the bed, holding his clasped hands up as hedramatically pleaded to his best friend.

Fili rolled his eyesat Kili’s dramatics – they were teenagers. Dramatics were an everyday thing.“You’re taking Tauriel to the school dance, right?”

“Duh.” Kili rolledhis eyes because that was obvious. “I wish you were going too.” He muttered,allowing his arms to flop along the bed and Fili’s legs.

“Can’t. Gotta study.You know how my dad is.” It had been Fili’s excuse since the dance wasannounced, but Kili knew better. Fili’s father might have been a little bit ofa hardass when it came to his son’s grades, but he still would have let Fili goto a dance.

Deciding not to pushthe subject lest he upset his friend, Kili sighed. “You’re such a nerd.” Hebreathed out, “So help me then. I don’t want to look like a dork when I show upto meet Tauriel.” He mumbled into the mattress as he looked up at the otherboy.

“Well, too late forthat. You’re already a dork.” Fili smirked and reached over to ruffle Kili’shair, laughing when the reaction was a pitiful whine and a lazy swipe of one ofKili’s arms. “But I guess I can help you look less like one.” He decided as heclimbed off the end of the bed and moved over to the closet to look. “Oh god…doyou expect me to work miracles with this stuff?” He huffed even as he reachedinto the space and pulled a few hangers aside.

“Fili.” Kili flopped onto the bed,blankets still warm and still lingering with the scent of the blond. “You’re somean to me.” He complained petulantly.

“You make it soeasy.” Fili stepped away, an outfit held up so Kili could see. “Wear this.”

Kili looked at theoutfit and then looked at Fili. “You can’t be serious. That’s a suit.”

“Thank you CaptainObvious. You’re going to a formal youidiot. Nice suits and fancy dresses. You know Tauriel’s putting a lot of effortinto this.” Fili moved over to the bed where Kili lay, holding out the hanger.“I heard Eowyn say they’re getting their hair done and everything. You don’twant to look like a loser in jeans and a grubby t-shirt when she’s dressed likea princess, do you?”

Kili chewed his lip.Fili had a very good point and he reallywanted to impress Tauriel. He’d been crushing on her for two years and hadfinally gotten the courage to ask her out thanks to Fili’s encouragements.“You’re going to make me wear a tie with this aren’t you.” Brown eyes narrowedat the innocent smile on the blond’s face.

“Yep!” Fili chirpedhappily as he laid the suit out on the bed so Kili could change. He knewexactly where Kili kept the one tie he’d received from his grandmother oneChristmas before high school and moved over to the dresser to dig it out.

Kili groaned butrelented, getting up and changing into the suit. He was surprised it fit sincehe hadn’t worn it in forever. He looked up to find Fili staring at him, and whenthe blond realized it, he smiled and brought the tie over.

“You look good.”Fili promised as he looped the tie around Kili’s neck because Kili had neverlearned how to tie one, and besides, he kind of liked Fili doing it for himanyway. It was how they’d met and became friends after all. It was tradition.“You still look like a dork, but at least you’re a better dressed dork.”

“Thanks!” Kililaughed even as he punched Fili’s shoulder.

“You’d be lostwithout me.” Fili smirked as he pulled the knot up to Kili’s neck, wiggling thematerial until it sat in the right place. “There.” He insisted, “Dressed toimpressed.”  And then Fili did somethingthat neither expected; he kissed the end of Kili’s nose.

They both paused fora moment and stared at each other with wide eyes, blushes slowly beginning tocreep across their cheeks.

It was Fili whoshook himself out of it first and he rolled his eyes at himself, “Oh fuck it.Just have fun, alright? Do you have Tauriel’s corsage?”

“Fun. Yeah.” Kili wasmore focused on the fact that his nose was tingling than what Fili was saying.Until terror struck him hard, “Oh shit! The corsage!”

“Whoa!” Fili’s handson Kili’s shoulders were the only thing grounding the brunet. “Pretty sure yourmom stuck it in the fridge downstairs. Don’t panic, Kee. Things will work out.”He promised, and Kili hoped he was right.

***

Things with Taurieldidn’t end up working out, but things with Fili, on the other hand, did. Kilieventually learned the real reason why Fili hadn’t wanted to go to the dance,and it had pretty much changed their lives.

***

“You’re making mewear a bloody tie?” Kili looked at his boyfriend, stricken to the core as Filithreateningly held the tie in his hands. He wasn’t sure how exactly holding a tie was threateningly, but he feltthreatened.

“I let you get awaywith it at my graduation, but you’re not getting away with it for your own.”Fili insisted. Fili had always been a year ahead of Kili and had graduated theyear before. It had been lonely finishing the last year of high school withoutbeing able to see his best friend in the halls at school or being able to sitwith him at lunch or during band practices and concerts. “Your grandmother willwant pictures and you know she’ll be ecstatic if she sees you all dressed up.”

“Really?” The brunetlaughed as he surrendered and allowed Fili to loop the tie around his neck.“You’re using my grandmother as anexcuse?” He teased as he leaned forward, stealing a few kisses as Fili tried toconcentrate on tying the stupid tie. “Fee~” He sang triumphantly as he noticedthe tips of Fili’s ears turning red. “Fili.” He said more calmly, but the largeshit eating grin that had blossomed on his face wouldn’t go away. He grabbedFili’s hips even as the tie was tied.

“I find you hot in asuit okay?” Fili finally admitted, glancing up at Kili once as he slid the knotto rest just right around Kili’s neck.

This was news toKili, but pleasant news all the same. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You candress me up any time you want as long as you promise to undress me later.” Heeven wiggled his eyebrows for effect, and he got the reaction he was lookingfor.

Fili laughed, “JesusChrist you dork. But at least you’re my dork.” He shook his head beforegrabbing the tie and pulling Kili to him. A kiss was bestowed upon the tip ofKili’s nose, because along with Fili always being the one to tie Kili’s tie,the kiss had become tradition too. Another kiss was pressed to his mouth anddeepened rather quickly. When they pulled apart, they were both a littleflushed and out of breath. “Proud of you.” Fili murmured against his lips evenas their noses rubbed together.

“Thanks.” Kiligrinned, proud of himself too, and happy that things were moving along. The twoplanned on finding a place and moving out together, and who wouldn’t be excitedabout that? “Love you, you know?”

“I love you too.”

***

“Oh my god, Filino!” Kili cried as he let his shoulders slump in defeat as the blond grabbedhim and dragged him closer so that he could swing a tie around Kili’s neck.

Fierce blue eyesglared at him, daring him to put up a fight. Kili wasn’t that brave. “You are wearing a tie to my wedding, Kili,or else you’re no longer invited.” Fili’s voice was firm and all business.

The brunet grinnedeven as he straightened enough to make Fili’s job easier. “Fee, if I don’t showup to the wedding, you won’t be marrying anyone.” He pointed out cheekily,rocking back on his heals just a little because he couldn’t make it that easy, especially not when he wasalready filled to the brim with excitement.

They were getting married.

“Oh, I’m sure Icould find someone who wants to marry me.” Fili mused as he finally finishedwith the tie, straightening it more than it had to be because he was nervousand wanted things to be perfect. “I get along with your cousin. Maybe he’d beinterested.”

Kili reached up andtook a hold of Fili’s hands before his ‘fixing’ ended up untying the materialand starting all over again. “As if I could let you marry Gimli, oh my god no. I’ll wear the tie.” He promised before hebrought his fiancé’s hands up so he could kiss them both. “I’d wear a dress ifit meant marrying you.”

Fili snickered, butKili could tell he was pleased. “The tie will do.” He leaned forward and Kiliclosed his eyes, grinning at the soft press of lips to the tip of his nose. “Readyto spend the rest of our lives together?”

“So ready.”

The door to the roomthey were getting dressed in burst open and a rather frazzled redheaded maid ofhonour stood in the doorway. “Come on you two, are you getting married orwhat?” Tauriel demanded.

And the weddingbegan.

***

Kili was choking.The tie around his neck was way too tight and he couldn’t breathe. It felt likehe was suffocating around the large lump in his throat that wouldn’t go awaynot matter what he tried.

He hooked a fingerin the material and pulled, attempting to loosen it. His mother had tied it andit was uncomfortable and too tight.

“I can’t breathe.”He managed to gasp before all but collapsing on the floor where he stood; theworld beginning to dim as air refused to pass through his lungs.

“Kili. Kili, you’repanicking.” A voice said from far away but it wasn’t the right voice, it wasn’tFili. “It’s okay, just let it happen.” There was the vague sensation of a handrubbing along his back. “I think he just needs a moment. Can everybody give ussome privacy, please?”

A moment? No. Heneeded a lifetime. He couldn’t do this. This wasn’t happening. He was trappedin a nightmare and couldn’t get out. Theywere supposed to spend the rest of their lives together.

“Oh baby.” Hismother was beside him, hands too warm within his own. He felt so cold now.“Just let it happen.” She repeated, used to these panic attacks that had onlyrecently started.

Started since…

“Mom.” He finallymanaged to croak out. “I can’t do this.” He forced the words passed the lumpstill sitting in his throat. “I can’t do this. Please don’t make me do this.”He begged, his voice trembling and breaking into a sob.

“Oh honey.” Shewrapped him up in a hug, rocking him a bit in an attempt to soothe. “I wish itworked that way, baby. I hate seeing you suffer so much.” She kissed the top ofhis head and squeezed him a little tighter. “But you don’t have a choice,sweetie. You have to be strong. Fili would have wanted you to be strong.”

It was hearing thename that finally pushed the lump out of his throat, and Kili burst into messyheart shattering sobs.

How was he supposedto be strong when the only person he’d ever loved lay in the next room in afucking coffin?

He clung to hismother helplessly as his body was racked with grief. “H-how does a-anyoneexpect m-me to go on w-without him?” He whimpered into his mother’s shoulder,soaking her black dress with his tears.

Her fingers combedthrough his hair, her own voice wet with tears. “Nobody expects you to doanything right away, baby.” She promised, “You mourn him for as long as youneed, but then you take it one day at a time. Fili wouldn’t want you to be sadforever.”

“Then he shouldn’thave fucking died!” Kili almost shouted but his voice was muffled in hismother’s shoulder. “He shouldn’t have died…” He repeated brokenly, wishing hecould wake up and have Fili sleeping beside him.

But he’d never havethat again. Kili’s nightmare had just begun.

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