#i'm not gonna talk shit about the professor she is a cinnamon roll

[zukkaoru]

i am. love you. tehe.

oda & naomi + "you look very manly in this photo"

sigma & margaret + "that's it. i'm leaving"

fyodor & chuuya + "Because you’re not to step within a thousand feet of a Cinnabon, [name]"

lucy & gin + "i'm gonna kick your... HEAD"

kyouka & jun'ichirou + "umm, we just exploded a bus!"

ranpo & elise + "sit down, shut up, and i'll buy you a candy bar"

ango & chief taneda + "professor you are bald as hell"

hiiii beloved <333 umm okay obviously the oda & naomi one is beast au. and the fyodor and chuuya one is a no abilities au?? no other context though. also the gin & lucy one kind changed to gin/lucy bc uhhhh i'm a lesbian. thank u

“You look very manly in this photo,” Naomi muses. Oda looks up to find her holding a photograph of Kunikida, taken from a security camera during his most recent mission. Kunikida, of course, ignores her. “Let me see,” Oda says. Naomi hands him the picture and he looks it over before nodding in agreement, just to see if he can draw out a better reaction. “I agree, Naomi-chan. It’s a good photo—very manly. Only thing I’d change is the glasses. He could go for something sexier.” Naomi snorts. Kunikida’s brow furrows. “My glasses are perfectly fine. I would appreciate it if you would stop gossiping about me while I am right here, trying to work.” Naomi rolls her eyes, and Oda bites back a snicker as he passes the picture back over.

-

“That’s it.” Margaret slams her hands on the table, standing up. “I’m leaving!”

As she goes, Sigma eyes the spread of cards warily. There’s no way this wasn’t stacked, though they’d assured Lucy wasn’t the one dealing, since she likes showing off her new illegal skills whenever possible. Apparently she isn’t the only (former) Guild member who can stack a deck of cards.

Sigma sighs. They stand too, heading to find Margaret. They tune out the background noise of Lucy yelling at Mark and John while Louisa tries to calm her down.

When they find Margaret, she’s standing with her back against the wall, arms folded over her chest. She huffs. “I know they’re cheating so I’ll lose.”

Sigma purses their lips. “You’re probably right. …But they aren’t the only ones who know how to cheat at card games. …I could help you get a little revenge?”

Slowly, a smile spreads across Margaret’s face.

-

Chuuya grabs Fyodor by the back of his jacket, preventing him from taking even one more step.

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Chuuya sighs. “You are not to step within one thousand feet of a Cinnabon. Your partners were very specific. If I have to babysit you, I don’t want you getting high off cinnamon or whatever the hell you did to make them give me that warning.” They begin walking in the opposite direction of the mall, dragging Fyodor behind them. They don’t know how they let Dazai talk them into agreeing to this.

“I have done no such thing.”

“Full offense, but I don’t believe you. Now pick up your feet or we’re going to be late. Sigma is waiting for us and she deals with enough shit just having to be friends with you.”

-

“I’m gonna kick your…HEAD!” Lucy exclaims.

Gin raises their eyebrows, clearly calling into question Lucy’s ability to follow through with her threat. Which only serves to fan the flame of anger burning bright in Lucy’s chest. Stupid Gin and their stupid piercing gaze and perfect looks and nimble fingers and Lucy hates that they probably could kick her head, if they tried. It’s infuriating. Gin is infuriating.

“I could do it!” Lucy argues. “You’re not that tall! I could get my leg all the way up there! Just watch!”

Lucy kicks, and while she does come close, Gin easily evades her foot. They dodge effortlessly, and in one swift movement, they’ve got Lucy pinned against the wall with one arm against her throat. Their eyes seem to stare into Lucy’s soul, grey like swirling storm clouds.

Lucy swallows thickly, her gaze dropping to where Gin’s mouth is covered by their mask.

Shit.

-

“Um…” Jun’ichirou swallows nervously. “We just exploded a bus.”

“Yes,” Kyouka agrees. Her tone is far too calm for their current situation. The remains of said bus are still smoldering before them, and they’re lucky everyone else managed to escape in time.

“After being attacked by demon triplet ability users.”

“Yes,” Kyouka repeats. She sheaths her knife.

Jun’ichirou stares hopelessly at the smoke wafting into the sky. He’s already imagining the damage report he’s going to have to complete once this case is wrapped up, and they’ve barely even started it. The ability users got away, and Jun’ichirou has no idea which direction they even escaped in, and when he and Kyouka were assigned this case, they weren’t even aware there were ability users involved!

He sighs. It’s going to be a long day.

-

“Sit down and shut up!” Ranpo snaps. They are at the end of their rope, and if Elise doesn’t chill out in the next two seconds, he’s going to attempt murder. “If you do, I’ll buy you a candy bar.”

Elise stops her singing and dancing immediately. “Really?”

“Yes! Just— Stop being so annoying!”

Elise sits down obediently. “Okay. I want my candy bar now.”

“I can’t go buy it while I’m babysitting.”

She glares at him for a moment, and then starts singing again, even louder than last time. It hurts Ranpo’s ears and his head and God why is she like this?! If Mori can make her behave however he wants, why is she literally the worst person on earth?!

“FINE!” Ranpo shouts. He marches over to where his stash of snacks is, grabs the first candy bar he sees, and throws it at Elise. “Now be quiet!”

Elise grins smugly as she begins unwrapping the candy.

-

“Professor,” Ango says, the word slurring with sleep as it falls from his lips. Taneda looks over at him, unsurprised to see he’s nearly started dozing at his desk. What does surprise him, however, is that Ango meets his gaze and finishes his sentence with, “You are…bald as hell.”

“What?”

But Ango just hums absentmindedly before returning to his work. As if he’s said nothing out of the ordinary.

Taneda lifts a hand to his head, unsure if the comment should make him self-conscious or just concerned for Ango’s well-being. It’s certainly not something he would have said if he were in a sound state of mind, but a sleep-deprived Ango is often one who is unable to control his brain-to-mouth filter.

So, Taneda simply sighs and prepares himself for the battle that is convincing Ango to go home and rest.