#i'm not gonna read in my native tongue who do you think i am? i have standards

[imaginejolls]

so far getting a library card has been a major fucking letdown so uh. is the Libby app US-only or do people outside of the US use it?

[redbelles]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by: the wonderful @carry-the-sky 💖

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

51

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

245,595

3. what fandoms do you write for?

i don't ever really abandon old fandoms, but so far 2024 has been all berserk (nothing posted yet, unforch) and masters of the air

4. top five fics by kudos

like a heartbeat drives you mad

the dreadful need in the devotee

and my body found the wind

stuck in colder weather

all the love you need

5. do you respond to comments?

yes! it may take me a hundred million years, but i appreciate each and every comment i get, and i often go back to them for a little jolt of "hey, people actually like your writing!" motivation when i'm stuck

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

lmao uh. known angst goblin meg redbelles here, but i honestly didn't have to do much work to the canon endings of robert baratheon (the clouds will form a crown) or judas iscariot (in the violence of our dreams) to make them even more horrifically angsty, so. one of those, probably!

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i don't tend to go for out and out happy endings—i prefer bittersweet—but i feel like the answer is either the mercy wheel, which fixes dany’s gabarge season eight character arc, or tongue’s talkin’ riddles (sticky sweet), which gives chrissy and eddie a mostly happy future together instead of horrible deaths in deeply cursed hawkins

and! for what it's worth! the chimneys hardly ever fall down is going to end on a happy note! they're just going to have to Suffer a lot to get there! it's fine!

8. do you get hate on fics?

nope

9. do you write smut?

me, currently 3k into a m/m/f threesome scene:

10. craziest crossover:

i enjoy spitballing about crossovers, but i doubt very seriously that i'll ever write one

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of, no

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had offers before, but i've declined every time; they all wanted to host the translations outside of AO3, which is not something i'm comfortable with

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yep! keep calling me home is a really fun little round robin fic i wrote with three other authors a couple years ago

14. all time favorite ship?

i can't read suddenly.gif

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

shUT UP!!!!! I'M GONNA FINISH ALL MY WIPS!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

16. what are your writing strengths?

imagery, emotion, themes, dialogue

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

plot? never heard of her. also, i feel like i still suck at writing humor

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

to crib from a previous answer: unless you speak the language, it gets real dicey real fast. i personally avoid it unless a) it’s a canonical term/phrase, like all the faux-russian bullshit in the grisha trilogy, or b) i can check the grammar/usage with a native speaker or someone who is solidly fluent

19. first fandom you wrote in?

[redacted] way back ages ago on [redacted]

20. favorite fic you've written?

recency bias talking here, but i am so, so, so fond of the chimneys hardly ever fall down; i challenged myself to write the first chapter as one continuous scene (i feel like i sometimes abuse scene breaks to heighten tension), and honestly i think i nailed it. also, this sequence:

Maybe he is drunk. That would make sense. He’s going to wake up and find himself alone at the bottom of a bottle. Back in the cold blue, Fort shot to shit and tumbling from the sky like a wounded bird, trailing fire and screaming as she falls. Maybe he won’t wake up at all— maybe he’s dead in a potato field, a ghost who never made it back in the first place. His heart can’t fucking take it.

like, i'm sorry, but that's brutal! and i am so proud of it!

tagging: @sluttyhenley @littlelindentree @oatflatwhite @meyerlansky @ladywaffles

@charmtion @anthropologicalhands @jacyevans @thatworldinverted @thatgirlnevershutsup

and anyone elso who wants a go ✨

[spongeofaces]

Hello! I am here for the twst matchup (romantic, please) and no first years or the teachers .Thank you, and have a good day !

**Appearance:**

I'm a 5'5" girl (165cm) (she/her, straight ). I am a brunette with short dark brown hair, round light brown eyes ,and transparent framed glasses. People often say I have a soothing aura when they look into my eyes. I have a round-ish kinda face with big cheeks, a small nose, and defined lips. I'm pale cause I mostly stay at home and avoid getting a tan. I have 8 beauty marks on my face. I have eyebags, which might be due to anemia, and I always look tired unless i use blush , i care about my skin doing skincare and such(i try(i want to be beautiful🥲).people say I am cute and pretty but it's hard for me to believe them (insecurities and self doub go brr...)

**Hobbies:**

drawing (digital and traditional ). I adore all forms of art, paintings , music , sculptures..ect .I enjoy reading, although it's been a while since I found a book that peeked my interest ,I mostly read fanfics recently . Video games hold a special place in my heart, I LOVE the different art styles and plots in each game. I have some sewing skills, mostly for patching things up .I learned to crochet and knit recently as well .Crafting is another hobby I enjoy, I am good with my hands. I love learning new stuff. biology and chemistry r my fav subjects(i like learning about anatomy whether it's animal's or human's +plants in the medical field ). I speak 3 languages: Arabic (native), French, and English. I plan to learn Spanish, Italian, or German next, depending on my mood. I'm a quick learner and adapt easily to different situations(that's something I admire and take pride in) .i hate and can't cook, except eggs and simple stuff.but in baking ,if you give me a recipe, i will make the most delicious desserts you've ever tasted(but I still hate it). Anything involving lemons is delicious (especially lemon tart😋).

Even though I am a good swimmer (I did swimming for 2 years) I have thalassophobia (ironic) but i do like me some facts about marine biology, with jellyfishes, anglerfishes, and Caribbean reef octopuses being my favorites.

**Personality:**

My personality is quite flexible and depends on both the people I'm with and my mood. When I'm outside , I tend to feel anxious, although I do my best not to show it. I come across as calm, chill, and reserved, but I'm friendly and won't reject anyone who wants to chat, although I dislike small talk and feel a bit uneasy around boys I can be quite sarcastic with a sharp tongue at times, kinda(really) annoying. Once I get comfortable with someone, you'll find I'm pretty blunt and honest .I am polite and respectful. I've had trust issues due to past betrayals, so I'm cautious with my relationships now (whether it is friends or family ,no lover tho ,don't get me wrong i can be quiet the romantic but the only man that I would probably get attached to would be fictional for sure lol)

With my close friends, I'm more open, and relaxed and cheerful?. I talk a lot about my interests, sharing random facts . I'm caring and sweet toward my friends . My love languages include gift-giving, physical touch.

I would describe myself as creative, observant, passionate, smart, meticulous and a perfectionist.I can be lazy and unmotivated. I am an INTP-T, Enneagram 5w4, and a Libra. I'm an older sister.

I am a burnt-out gifted kid , but I try to be the best version of myself in all aspects(i admit i do feel down thinking that i am never gonna make it ,but i always try to push these thoughts aside).I often feel I'll never be good enough for my mother (she has high standards for me that I can never seem to meet). I was bullied cause of my looks and weight, which made me depressed and anorexic for a year. Thankfully, I've changed a lot over time, tho it affected me making me antisocial, having trust issues and insecurities(but i am getting better). I like energy drinks. My music taste varies from pop, alt/indie, classical( my fav pieces are moonlight sonata 3rd movement, danse macabre , in the hall of the mountain king and la campanella ) ,jazz, to rock/metal, with a particular love for rock & roll. Comfortable baggy clothes are my go-to(makes me feel good in my own skin) .

***what I prefer in a partner?***

Anything is fine really , smart maybe? ,I can't cook so a good cook ,I just want someone to listen to me and make me feel included ,never getting annoyed by my behaviour and my clinginess , I want someone who I can truly be myself with (flaws and all)

I'm soooooo sorry for taking so long 😭

Tried to add some extra detail to make up for it <3

Hope you enjoy 🙏❤️

---

I match jellyfishuuuuu with...

🐍 Jamil Viper 🐍

-:-:-:-

You are one of the few people who have gotten to know the true Jamil behind all the walls he puts up. He never puts on a mask around you, always being as genuine as possible.

He adores you quite dearly, you'll often find him just staring at you from afar, even if he doesn't realize it himself. He just wishes to cherish you, and make you see just how precious you are, to him, and to your companions. He needs you to know just how much he thinks you're worth, constantly going to the extra lengths in your relationship, determined to make you love yourself as much as he loves you.

Everyone knows how good of a cook Jamil is, but he gets on a whole other level when cooking for you. He pours his heart and soul into each dish, every time. He'll be by your side as you eat, analyzing every reaction so he can make the next meal even more delicious for you. He's also very willing to help teach you how to cook.

If worry ever shows in your expression, he'll pull you aside to ask after your wellbeing. He won't take "I'm fine" as an answer either, he wants to listen to what bothers you, he wants to help in whatever way he can. He's always there to comfort you, making time even on the busiest of days.

Jamil's constant responsibilities can tire him out. Allow him to lay across your lap, or if that's too uncomfortable, lean on your shoulder, and he'll relax extraordinarially. He'll slowly doze off, fingers intertwined with yours, feeling at peace knowing you're there with him.

You guys swap clothes a lot, seeing as though you have similar styles. If you're missing a hoodie, I'd check his closet.

He's very patient. If you're ever not in the mood to socialize, or don't feel like being around him for whatever reason, he'll respect your wishes and leave you be.

He's impressed by your affinity for languages, even asking if you'd be so kind as to teach him some words or small phrases.

Constant praise. For the big things, for the little things, he wants you to be proud of yourself. You can tell he means every word of it too, by the way he looks at you with such adoration.

Since you like crafting, you could probably give him hand-made gifts. He'd find great joy recieving something from you, always treating you extra, extra special afterwords. The next day, you'll probaby be bombarded with triple the amount of gifts you gave him though, each more heartfelt and thought-out than the last.

Extra stuff as an apology for taking so long:

Before Jamil and you started dating, Kalim would constantly make excuses to have Jamil invite you to Scarabia, only to goof off elsewhere and purposely leave the two of you alone. Kalim was practically the matchmaker for you two, Jamil probably would have had noooo idea how to ask you out otherwise. Kalim was also the first to figure out Jamil had feelings for you.

If you ever wake up to frantic, jumbled texts, Jamil has been found by a bug. Please save him 😔

Your first date together wasn't really 'official' more like Kalim organizing the event then dipping at the last minute. He booked a real fancy restaurant, and only cancelled when both you and Jamil were already seated.

He pokes your forehead and sticks his tongue out at you when annoyed. Kinda childish.

A song for the relationship:

My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski.

Other options: Trey, Idia, Malleus and Ruggie.

[piecesofeden11]

20 Questions Fic Writer Tag Thank you so much for the tag, @grapenehifics This looks so much fun!! 1.) How many works do you have on ao3? Officially 37 but like ... 25 of those are part of the Kinktober Series and another 6 for the Obianidala Series. So, 6? :D

2.) What's your ao3 word count?  132,934 Woof! Nice! 3.) What fandoms do you write for?  At the moment, purely Star Wars. I have three story in the MCU verse but that was a long time ago :D

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos? Counting down, Ms Mojo style! 5: When Sorrow Sang (MCU, Thor/Loki, AU, Discontinued) 4: Half-Pass and Half-Pipes (Star Wars, Obi-Wan/Anakin, Olympics AU, Almost finished :D) 3: Heel (Star Wars, Obi-Wan/Anakin, Sith AU, UFO) 2: Like Puppets on a Broken String (Star Wars, Obi-Wan/Anakin, Fix It GffA, UFO) 1: Flying Blind (MCU, Steve/Tony, Oneshot) Okay, the fact that ... Heel with it's less than 2K words being above all 10 chapters of Half-Pass cracks me up xD The Sith-Thirst is SO real!

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Always! I am so, so grateful for every single comment I receive and I want to let people know! Also ... comment conversations/exchanging thoughts are the best!!

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? A Tapestry of Broken Hope ... which makes sense because it follows canon :D and does it get angstier than that?

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? This would be such a spoiler but ... Half-Pass! I mean ... common! We all know where this is going 🎩💍🎩💕

8.) Do you get hate on fics? Fortunately, I have not gotten any. I'd probably just delete the comment, though (not that I would not hurt ...)

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind? *glances at 25 stories of Kinktober* ... I try. I gotta admit though ... the heavier stuff ... is probably gonna go back into my reading-only corner :D

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I have written a MCU/Pacific Rim Crossover :D Find it here! I like it!

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of and I hope it stays that way!

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated? No. I thought about translating on my own into German but ... haven't gotten around to it. I think it would be an interesting challenge actually. That being said ... I'd love if anyone did it. (Or Podfic any of mine ... like ... that would be incredible)

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before? Not in the traditional sense I think, but I've exchanged thoughts voraciously with @grapenehifics on Half-Pass, and I'm currently collaborating with @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart on the new Dancing with the Stars AU (Coming to an Archive of our Own near you soon!)

14.) What's your all time favorite ship? Don't make me chose! (Obikin ... who am I kidding?)

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will? When Sorrow Sang was actually a very cool idea and I remember being so hyped about it but then the energy just fizzled out.

16.) What are your writing strengths I hate this question 🥺 I don't know :( I'm not good at praising myself

17.) What are your writing weaknesses? Overthinking, Conversations, Cohesion?

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I love bringing the element of multi-linguality into stories. Sometimes I will use my native tongue as a stand-in for non-basic (in SW terms :D)

19.) First fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written? Nah ... I'm not doing this! :D (I do adore Half-Pass ...) I'm tagging YOU! Yes, you! Reading this rn!!

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Hello everyone!!! Welcome to this episode of Star and Sunny’s bullshit. If you don’t want to sit through of bunch of rambling memes and inside jokes, feel free to move on <3

Star: can i just say that s1 Reid is literally the most baby boy ever (i will do ungodly things to him, i wanna ruin him forever, like is this what a corruption kink is?)

Sunny: you know what this is EXACTLY what a corruption kink is. And I didn’t even think to add that to the tags for this (or Lessons for a Genius, but it totally applies). S1/S2 Spencer is SO FUCKING CORRUPTABLE. So bitable. Like I just wanna tell him filthy things and watch him explode due to the shock 

Star: skipping all the cw cause sunny's got me and I love surprises :3 whatever happens next is on me

Sunny: I do got you!!! Reading fics blind can be so much more fun lmao 

Star: "Sifting through someone’s apartment looking" unironically this would be the shit, i love going through ppls stuff (paperwork can die tho)

Sunny: okay but I would also love this. A chance to just be so NOSY. I would live for this 

Star: "Gideon said" i literally went "🥺 dad ???? 🥺" YES YOU DUMB BITCH WE'RE ON SEASON ONE !!!!

Sunny: If I was actually part of this team and Gideon said that I wasn’t living up to my potential or something, I would cry. Like him telling me I wasn’t doing well enough would be INFINITELY worse than one of my parents being disappointed in me. He is father 

Star: "The only upside was that you got to do it with Spencer" oh i'm gonna do a lot of things with Spencer

Sunny: and Spencer is gonna love it <333 

Star: "naturally fell under your authority" yes ??? cause he knows his place is under a mean woman

Sunny: EXACTLY. He doesn’t have the energy or the time to question us. And he likes being bossed around. He just doesn’t know it yet (but he will though) 

Star: "Reid, come on, take your feet off the dashboard!" you !!!! the germaphobe !!!! literally shut up forever i hAVE THE HIGH (moral) GROUND !!! "And put your seatbelt on!” OH HE'D STRESS ME OUT SO BAD !!!!! I HATE WHEN PPL DO THIS !!!!!

Sunny: HE WOULD STRESS ME OUT TOO. Like everything from this part of the fic was from my heart. I am this mf bossy with people in the car if they are being annoying or not wearing a seatbelt 

Star: "Aw, Reid, listen to your Mommy.” you wish you could call me mommy (or alternatively: well then i guess im letting You die in a car crash)

Sunny: I feel like Derek would be the type to call someone ‘Mama’ in bed. (or Mami?) Like he would call you a ‘hot mama’ - as a compliment, and it would slip out again later during sex. This was just floating around between my ears and I felt the need to share lmao 

Star: "“I bet if you’re a good boy, she might even breastfeed you when you get there" AAAAAAAA I FORGOT HE SAID THAT !!!!!

Sunny: Derek is thinking about our tiddies an UNHEALTHY AMOUNT. (or a very healthy amount, depending on how you look at it.) 

Star: "his voice low and mousy, looking straight ahead as he fidgeted with his hands in his lap" im shoving my tongue down his throat

Sunny: as you should. 

Star: "For the first time ever" preposterous (having to google the correct spelling for that was for sure humbling)

Sunny: lmao it’s okay I wouldn’t know how to spell this off the top of my head either and I’m a native English speaker 

Star: "Don’t worry about it, baby" : O did i just rizz MYSELF UP ????

Sunny: it’s easier to do so around Spencer who won’t question your rizz!!! 

Star: "Sorry, Mommy" you have never done me wrong ever

Sunny: I literally had SO MUCH FUN writing this part, because I was like ‘this is a meme, but it fits SO WELL into the fic, so I have to do it’. 

Star: see reader is stronger than me cause I would've pulled over, federal secURITY JOB BE DAMNED !!!!

Sunny: You have no clue how many times I have been writing a fic and thought to myself ‘they should just fuck NOW’ - but then I have to be like ‘no, we have to stick to the plot, we have to build more tension’. So I definitely agree with you in a lot of ways lmao. 

Star: "wanted to shoot his cum so deep inside you that it would ensure he could give you one" : O im calling the police

Sunny: I’m sure I have one of those monopoly Get Out Of Jail Free cards sitting around somewhere <333 

Star: "You don’t mind sharing with me, right" OMG I SEE WHAT YOU DID HERE !!!! *pointing maniacally at the screen*

Sunny: I had just been watching the Lila episode and it was too much fun to resist lmao 

Star: "he saw that there was only one bed" i KNEW not looking at the cw would yield good results !!!!

Sunny: again, it’s a meme, but it was too much fun not to include. Also usually the ‘there was only one bed’ trope is about two people being FORCED to share a bed because of extenuating circumstances (which is very fun to write) - but this time, it is purely on purpose. The reader character booked the room with only one bed so Spencer would be forced to confront the sexual tension between them. 

Star: "melting like butter over your tongue in a way that made Spencer’s knees wobble" baby and angel are SO DEEPLY ingrained into my daily vocabulary I think Spencer would spontaneously combust

Sunny: oh he absolutely WOULD 

Star: "beautiful natural teardrop shape of your breasts" *excitedly chanting* SAGGY TITS SAGGY TITS SAGGY TITS !!!!!

Sunny: this actually made me snort when I read it omg. #teamsaggytits 

Star: "weren’t actually offering to breastfeed him" we'll get there eventually >:3

Sunny: now I cannot stop thinking about Spencer with an actually pregnant or new mother reader who is over producing milk and Spencer offers to suck the milk out of her tits because they are swollen and painful so she doesn’t have to breast pump, acting like it’s just to help her, but it’s really self motivated because he loves tiddies (will this be a fic I will actually write? idk) 

Star: "your body could actually support the production of milk currently" well maybe if you put a baby in me like you wanted to i COULD'VE

Sunny: WELL NOW I’M THINKING ABOUT EARLY SEASONS WHINY SPENCER BEGGING TO BREED YOU. MORE PLOT BUNNIES 

Star: "or maybe Spencer liked that humiliation, he wasn’t even sure" we'll sprinkle in the fact that Reid is bi

Sunny: I was trying to sprinkle in the fact that Reid has a humiliation kink - but it does probably help that the humiliation comes from Morgan 

Star: "wouldn’t be able to stand the idea of another woman touching him after this" unless we're also there and the other woman is Elle (cause she'd be out mommy too, than everything's balanced out)

Sunny: (Staring at Elle, singing You Are The Only Exception) 

Star: "You knew it wouldn’t be long before he came in his pants" im gonna claw out of my little prison, plEASE GOD ALLOW ME TO HAVE THIS

Sunny: he is so wonderfully pathetic <3 

Star: "Anyone else would have likely let him rest" *in tears* you know me so fucking well, i love it here

Sunny: all that matters in life is writing fics for your one weird little friend <3 I am so glad this one hit !!!

Star: "Glossy and wet with his own release, his cock pinky red from the exertion and friction, still half hard" I think I have rabies, this is what rabies feel like, why else would I be foaming at the mouth?

Sunny: I feel like I need to put a warning on my fics now that they may induce rabies ??? 

Star: "You said that you only wanted to look" .... i can look with my mouth

Sunny: I need ‘I can look with my mouth’ on a shirt with no context 

Star: "he was the one making those desperate sounds" gone wild audio save, save me gwa !!

Sunny: WAIT ONE HAPPENED TO THAT ONE AUDIO POST I HAD SAVED THAT SOUNDED EXACTLY LIKE SPENCER ??? remind me to find it later 

Star: "frail woman getting fucked to death by her husband next door" im husband ? 🥺

Sunny: again, this is one of those random lines that I put in there just for you. Because Spencer is babygirl and we love reversing gender roles 

Star: "That’s enough, baby" I WAS ABOUT TO SAY !!! 4 sugar packets ????? Spencer please, your poor heart

Sunny: he needs to be mommied. For his health 

Anyway, everyone!!! Thank you for coming to this episode of Star and Sunny talk shit <333

Meddle About

Sub!Spencer Reid x Dom!Fem!Reader

‘Cause it's not just a figure of speech - you got me down on my knees.

It's gettin' harder to b r e a t h e .

Summary:

You hate it when Morgan teases Reid. So when Morgan says that you are Reid's 'Mommy' - you verbally fire back without even thinking about it.

Reid vastly overthinks it.

So much so that he ends up calling you Mommy by mistake. And you definitely don't hate the sound of that word coming off his lips.

Sub!Spencer Reid x Dom!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Lovers. Smut. Set during Season One.

Word Count: 6,300

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: general smut fic - porn with some plot; dom/sub dynamics (but this isn't a pre-discussed dom/sub relationship, the characters just fall into these roles naturally), Spencer is submissive and the reader is dominant; the main theme is Mommy kink - Spencer discovers that he has a Mommy kink after a joke that Morgan makes, referring to the reader character as Spencer's Mommy; Spencer calls the reader 'Mommy' and the reader also refers to herself with that title; the reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina (and breasts); it could be interpreted that the reader has larger breasts/is plus sized (but I think anyone of any size could enjoy this fic); the reader is part of the BAU; this is meant to take place during season one (baby Spence my beloved) but there are no other major canon events mentioned and the case being discussed is one that I have made up; some very background typical elements of Criminal Minds - murder, killing, systemic vicimization of women/violence from men towards women (passing mention of bodies being consumed by wild animals); the reader and Spencer fuck while on a case (but they aren't endangering anyone's lives from lack of their attention, so it's fine); mentions of potential injuries from a car accident (theoretical - doesn't actually happen during the fic); very slight threads of Morgan x Reader (mentions of Morgan being attracted to the reader - it could be one-sided); very passing mention of Reid having breeding kink (doesn't take place during the fic, just one of his thoughts); for the actual smut section: this could be interpreted as virgin!Spencer but that's not explicitly stated here (at most, this is just inexperienced!Spencer) (the reader is definitely way more sexually experienced than him); praise kink (we all known Spencer is so eager to be praised); mentions of breastfeeding - Morgan makes a joke about the reader breastfeeding Reid, which later turns into faux breastfeeding kink (the reader doesn't actually lactate, but she lets Spencer suck on her tits and calls it breastfeeding); the reader calls Spencer: 'baby', 'good boy',; descriptions of subspace - but it's not specifically called 'subspace' in the text; thigh humping - Spencer humps the reader's thigh; cumming in pants (Spencer); multiple orgasms/overstimulation (Spencer receiving); handjob - the reader jacks Spencer off while he is sensitive after his first orgasm; using lube as cum; dumbification kink - the reader calls Spencer 'dumb baby' and generally enjoys seeing his intellect drop the more turned on he becomes (Spencer also likes being called this); technically the reader doesn't get to cum, but she gets turned on from treating Spencer like the good boy that he is (and this is more about him). I think that's everything.

A/N: This was directly inspired by the scene from Reid's birthday party, where Morgan says 'Mommy to the rescue!' (talking about JJ) and then Spencer says '...Mommy?' and it seems like he is discovering his Mommy kink in real time. Especially because he is then trapped between Elle and JJ and he makes direct eye contact with their boobs, and he just has such a look of scared kink realization in his eyes. I considered copying that moment exactly and just replacing JJ with the reader character, but this seemed like more fun lmao. I had so much fun writing this and I think this is one of my best fics in a while. I hope you guys enjoy it!!

...

Generally, you hated being stuck with grunt work. 

You knew that it was all part of the job - an important part of it. Paperwork, side interviews, background checks. Sifting through someone’s apartment looking for aspects of what kind of person they were based on their everyday life. 

But you thrived more on being right in the middle of things. You preferred interacting with suspects, chasing people down, harsh confrontation. 

Gideon said that you were overly controlling, impatient, brutally honest - that you had an ‘abrasive personality’ that put most men off. But that was why he often brought you into interrogations with male suspects. Many of the people you caught - men with superiority complexes who targeted the weak to make themselves feel powerful - they hated that you weren’t intimidated by them. That aspect of abrasion between you and the suspects often brought out a lot of information - things they spewed out trying to intimidate you. 

But you weren’t needed on that front today. 

No - instead, you were doing grunt work. The kind of work that made you impatient and generally aggravated. 

The only upside was that you got to do it with Spencer. 

He was one of the only men that voluntarily worked so closely with you so often, because he wasn’t intimidated by you. He took orders from you very well and naturally fell under your authority, bringing a natural chemistry to your partnership when you worked with him. Plus - his seemingly endless stream of ‘fun facts’ was like listening to the radio, which did help to soothe your boredom during these kinds of mindless tasks. 

You were on a case in Texas. Five women raped and tortured before having their bodies hung from a tree and consumed by cotoyes that the UnSub knew lived in the area. Since police had closed in on him, he had gone on the run. He had killed three more women since fleeing, while leaving no clues as to what his ultimate endgame would be or where he would be going next. 

Hotch sent you and Reid to find that out while the rest of the team worked victimology and profiled the scenes of the most recent murders, following the trail he was leaving. 

After spending hours sifting through the suspect’s house, looking for any small clue about where he might be going - you came up empty. When you touched base with Hotch, he told you that you and Reid would be going to visit the suspect’s ex-wife - who lived four hours away. You needed to interview her to see if she could give you any further insight to the man, and perhaps - beat him to the house if she was the ultimate target. 

(A lot of the victims looked like her, and it couldn’t really be a coincidence.) 

You knew that lives were at risk, and it was juvenile of you, but all you heard was: long, boring drive. Boring day. You hoped that Reid would be good company through it. 

Now, you were waiting outside of the police station in the bureau-issued SUV, waiting for Morgan to come and give you the file with the ex-wife’s address and contact information. 

“Did you know that over forty-six percent of Texans own a gun? Texas is second only to Montana in registered gun ownership, where over sixty-six percent of citizens proudly tote their right to bear arms.” Reid told you, continuing to look over the case files that were sitting in his lap. 

When you looked over toward him to reply to this odd factoid, your mind got caught up on something else. 

“Reid, come on, take your feet off the dashboard!” You told him, reaching over to gently smack his knee, trying to encourage his legs down from the awkward position. 

It bothered you for several reasons - the idea that he would leave shoe prints on the dashboard, which was minor and cosmetic, but still annoying. And the fact that if the car did happen to get hit head-on, the air-bag would explode out and push his knees into his chest, causing his shattered leg bones to pierce his organs and possibly kill him. (At the very least, he would never walk again.) 

Speaking of which: 

“And put your seatbelt on!” You barked, now noticing that he wasn’t wearing it past all of the files he had piled into his lap. “You of all people should know how many deaths are caused by not wearing a seatbelt.” 

Spencer opened his mouth to spout out this exact statistic, but before he could get the words out, another voice entered the conversation. 

“Aw, Reid, listen to your Mommy.” 

You were almost startled by Morgan’s voice coming from the open driver’s side window so suddenly. His appearance there as if out of nowhere was so jarring that you couldn’t get caught up on the way he had called you Reid’s Mommy. Your head whipped toward Morgan so quickly that you didn’t notice the flash across Spencer’s features - worry, dawning. You didn’t take note of the way he rushed to comply with putting on his seatbelt. As if he was rushing to please you, even unconsciously. 

“I bet if you’re a good boy, she might even breastfeed you when you get there.” 

Morgan then pursed his lips and made loudly suckling noises, clearly imitating breastfeeding in what he thought was a comedic way. 

Again - glaring at the muscled man through the open window, you didn’t see Spencer’s reaction. You didn’t see the way his large, glassy eyes flickered to your breasts (only emphasized by your own seatbelt crossed over the center of your chest) before he forced himself to focus on the files in front of him so that he wouldn’t feel so caught.

“Shut up.” You told Morgan, your voice so commanding and firm that his simple order was enough to get him to stop his antics. 

“And give me the address already.” You held out your hand expectantly, and Morgan handed you the file, which you placed onto the center console. 

Then, you turned back to him for one last point, determined to have the final word in the conversation. 

“Besides, we both know that you’re the one who’s got an obsession with my breasts, anyway. Just because you stare while wearing sunglasses, doesn’t mean I don’t notice. My eyes are up here, pal.” You told him sharply. 

He let out a scoff at this, and rolled his eyes behind his dark frames - but he made no clever comeback. 

You had successfully bested him. And with that knowledge, you rolled up the window and left him standing dumbly in the parking lot as you sped off. 

… 

You pulled over later to put the address into the GPS system, and you let out a long-winded groan when you found that it was more than four hours away. Four hours and twenty five minutes. 

So you pulled over again to get gas and stocked up on snacks, and you were surprised that Reid wasn’t giving you some lesson about the colloquial use of ‘soda’ and ‘pop’ (thinking that you hadn’t listened the other ten times when he had gone on the same rambling point about linguistics and how language evolves). 

He was being far too quiet for your liking. 

But he was keeping his eyes glued to the files, and you guessed that he was churning over something in that big brain of his, like he usually was. 

You were entirely surprised when the next time he spoke - it wasn’t about the case at all. 

“How - how do you know that Morgan likes your breasts?” He asked, his voice low and mousy, looking straight ahead as he fidgeted with his hands in his lap. 

“What?” You gaped, the word flying out of your mouth as your brain was utterly slow to process what he had just said. 

Hearing Spencer use the word ‘breasts’ was jarring, but somehow utterly adorable. You found it stirring a slight heat within you. Especially because he was still so shy. The whole thing made you want to pin him down and force the shyness out of him. 

Spencer felt the need to further explain himself. 

“When - when you were talking to him, you said: ‘we both know that you’re the one who’s got an obsession with my breasts.’” He said, repeating back what you had said, word for word, using that perfect memory of his. 

You wondered if that’s what he had been doing, sitting there in his seat so silently for the past hour of the car ride - going over the conversation again and again in his head, trying to make sense of it. And because he couldn’t make any sense of it by himself, now he was consulting you. 

Again, you found it so utterly adorable. 

“Morgan didn’t deny it. So - was it a hypothesis based on something, or did you just call him out hoping that you weren’t wrong?” Reid continued, sparing only a singular glance in your direction, a look that you caught out of the corner of your eye with your gaze still mostly focused ahead on the road. 

You found it intensely cute that he was using the word ‘hypothesis’ in this situation. You wondered if he ever turned it off - the textbook big words and the intellect that he always carried himself with. You wondered if you could make him turn it off. You wondered if there was any situation where Spencer Reid could be as stupid as any other man - chasing a bone, desperate to get his nut off. 

For the first time ever - you imagined Spencer Reid underneath you, blabbering nonsense, begging for release with your hand around his cock as you pumped him, red and aching, so slick in your palm. Desperate, empty-headed, beautifully stupid. 

(See, this was what happened when you were forced to do grunt work. You got bored. And when you got bored - you had to entertain yourself somehow.) 

“It was a pretty well-informed hypothesis.” You replied. Now that Spencer had brought the topic up, you certainly weren’t going to shy away from the discussion. “Morgan often brings up my sex life, and wants to engage in detailed discussions about my sexual encounters with me. So I assume that he spends a fair amount of time thinking about me in a sexual way.” 

Reid let out a choked-off noise at this. 

You continued. 

“Plus, he’s always staring down my top. He’s not exactly subtle.” 

“You - you actually notice that kind of thing?” He chirped, his voice becoming a few octaves higher as worry flooded him. 

You bit your lip, suppressing a grin. 

Of course, you had noticed the times that Spencer stared at your breasts as well. He was even less subtle about it than Morgan was. You didn’t mind it when he did it, because you knew that Spencer wasn’t exactly casanova. He didn’t have a different girl every other week like Morgan did, so taking a glance down your shirt when he passed you a morning coffee was probably about as much action as he got. 

Secretly, letting him get away with it was your gift to him. 

“Don’t worry about it, baby.” You told him, the pet name slipping out mindlessly as you reached over and gently patted his knee as a form of reassurance. 

This movement unintentionally drew his eyes toward your chest, especially in his desperation to look anywhere but your face, not wanting to make eye contact with you. But he found his eyes glued to the swell of your breasts once again - hating how perfect they looked, even through the simple cotton shirt and plain bra that you wore. 

“Sorry, Mommy.” The word slipped out before he could even consciously process it. “Sorry!” 

Spencer raised a hand to smack his own face at lightning speed, and slumped down into his seat in embarrassment. 

You bit your lip to suppress a grin. It stirred a filthy heat in your belly. But you knew that Spencer likely needed a while to sit with this and wouldn’t want to talk about it - not yet. So you reached over and turned on the radio, letting the music fill the space so that the silence wasn’t so awkward and gutting. 

…

Spencer didn’t talk for the entirety of the rest of the car ride, which didn’t surprise you. 

When you finally arrived at the ex-wife’s house, his hands were shaking with nerves as he tried to unlatch his seatbelt. You probably should have just left him alone to struggle, but an evil spark, likely fueled by the boredom of the day, flared up inside of you. You couldn’t resist the urge to lean over the console, very purposefully showing off your breasts as you gently pushed his hands away and undid the belt for him. 

“Here, let Mommy get that for you.” You said, distinct teasing on your breath as you mumbled the words into his ear. 

Spencer huffed out a deep sigh and collapsed back into his seat, and pushed his hair out of his face in frustration. But he didn’t say anything more as you gathered the files in preparation for the interview. 

He only spoke when you moved to get out of the car. 

“Look, I-” He began a half assed explanation, and you easily cut him off. 

“You let Morgan get in your head too much.” You told him with a chuckle, opening your door and getting out. 

But as he forced himself to follow you with numb limbs - he knew that this definitely wasn’t all Morgan’s fault. 

… 

The ex-wife didn’t know much. 

She described the marriage as hell - the suspect exhibited all the typical behaviors as a husband that they would have expected. He hated women, and he wanted full control over his wife at the time, which eventually led down the path of divorce. They had to sell the house they had bought together, but neither of them had moved out of Texas since. But he hadn’t contacted her in years. 

She had two young kids from a new relationship, and when the woman stepped out to take a call, you picked one of them up to soothe his cries, hushing him gently while you rubbed his back. 

Because of this, Spencer found himself even more dizzy and confused. 

He knew that it was Frueadian - some deep, misguided part of his psychology - something broken and missing inside of him because of his own fractured childhood. 

But seeing you being so sweet with a kid, especially after the day he’d had - he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be your baby, or if he wanted to shoot his cum so deep inside you that it would ensure he could give you one. 

(Ultimately, he knew that it was likely both - and that didn’t answer any questions for him. It just gave him far more questions.) 

… 

Even though the ex-wife couldn’t give you guys much more than you already knew, Hotch wanted you and Spencer to stay close by in case the suspect decided to make his ex-wife the end game. The two of you would be able to make it to her first if she called for help. 

So you and Spencer had dinner at a random local barbeque place off the highway and Spencer still didn’t talk much through it, other than posing some theories about the case. Even though he was a bit more talkative, he still refused to look at you - he stared down at his plate the whole time. Though whenever he did look up, you noticed that his eyes lingered on your chest - and he still wouldn’t look you in the eye. 

By the time the bill came around and the two of you were ready to leave, you knew exactly what you had to do. 

… 

Spencer waited by the car with his bag while you checked in and got a motel room (needing to stay in town, you got a room for the night). When you came back, you handed him the room key and then moved to get your bag out of the car. 

“Do… you already have yours?” He asked quietly. 

“Hmm?” You hummed in reply, slinging the strap of your go-bag over your shoulder before you closed the back door and used the remote to lock up the car. 

“Your room key?” 

You suppressed another grin. 

“I only got one room.” You told him. “You don’t mind sharing with me, right?” 

You gave him a purposeful look - looked at him through your lashes, bit your lip slightly, and subtly squeezed your breasts together with your upper arms, emphasizing them. You knew exactly what you were doing to him, but hopefully it seemed subtle. 

“I - uh - no.” Spencer stuttered. “It’s fine. We can share.” He gave a grin, not wanting to appear upset, even though his entire body was racked with nerves. 

Spencer followed you to the room and he fumbled with the key with shaking hands for a moment before he sighed and then handed it to you. 

His insides quaked when he saw that there was only one bed. 

He wasn’t sure if he should say anything about it. The two of you had slept in the same room before, but you had never shared a bed before. Sure, you had slept near each other before. He had accidentally fallen asleep on your shoulder on the plane or vice versa. But you had never crawled into bed together with the intention of sleeping together. 

And yes, just the entendre behind it made Reid’s head spin. 

He had a heavy knot in his gut, and hatefully - a distinct stirring in his crotch. He could only imagine how embarrassing it would be for you to wake up and see him compromised in some way. Or god forbid, if you caught him moaning in his sleep because of unconscious dreams that he couldn’t stop - for you to think that he was some kind of dirty sex pervert because of it. 

He felt an overwhelming need to clear the air overtake him. He had no clue how to broach the subject, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to spend the night like this. He wouldn’t be able to sleep with this anxiety hanging over his head. 

He studied you carefully as you sat down on the edge of the bed, ditching your bag off to the side and heaving out a tired sigh as you began taking off your shoes. 

Spencer put down his own bag and then stood there, fidgeting nervously as he searched for words. 

“I - uh - I am sorry about earlier.” He mumbled out the beginnings of an apology. “What Morgan said was stupid, and I-” 

“I don’t think it was stupid.” 

You let out a chuckle, and reached up the back of your shirt. Spencer found himself frozen, his eyes tracing your every moment as you unhooked your bra underneath your shirt and then moved to maneuver the straps out from your short sleeves while you kept talking. 

“I think he had a point.” You added on. “Good boys should get a reward. And I think you were fairly good today. You didn’t eat all your veggies at dinner, but you kept your feet off the dashboard and you were quiet during the car ride. You definitely get points for being patient during such a long trip, baby.” 

Your voice smoothed into a soothing tone, that word - baby - melting like butter over your tongue in a way that made Spencer’s knees wobble. He hadn’t known it until right now, but you calling him a ‘good boy’ and listing off such mundane things he had done that made him worthy of a reward fired off sparks inside of his brain. 

A breath choked off inside of his throat as you stood up off the bed and peeled your bra completely out from under your shirt. Somehow it was one of the sexiest things he had ever seen, revealing the hard peaks of your nipples and the beautiful natural teardrop shape of your breasts to him through the cotton fabric. 

Spencer wanted to speak, but his tongue felt so heavy and dry inside of his mouth. He knew that he was staring at your chest so blatantly now, but he couldn’t peel his eyes away. He couldn’t even feel ashamed anymore. 

That dull tingle in his crotch had turned into a full on stinging interest, and he unconsciously pulled at the fabric of his pants, trying to loosen some of the tension that was growing, not even considering how it might look to you - him dumbly reaching for his crotch to make it look looser when his hardening bulge was becoming more obvious by the second. 

It was one of the most ‘caveman’ things he had ever done in front of you - standing there with his mouth hanging slightly agape, pulling at his crotch without caring how it looked. You definitely wanted more, wanted to see how dumb he could get. How far you could make him devolve. 

“So what do you say, baby boy?” You hummed, stepping close into his personal space now, causing him to get a whiff of your perfume - something that was only a dull trace after such a long day, but still smelled so good. “Do you want Mommy to breastfeed you? Do you wanna suck on my tits as your reward?” 

You gently ran a thumb across his cheek, and paired with the words, Spencer’s brain short-circuited. 

He knew realistically that you weren’t actually offering to breastfeed him. There was no evidence in your life to say that your body could actually support the production of milk currently - but you were offering to let him play pretend. To suck on your tits with a very sexual air, to call you Mommy without the teasing humiliation behind it that Morgan had hinted at (or maybe Spencer liked that humiliation, he wasn’t even sure). (He hadn’t even known before this morning that he liked the idea of calling you Mommy, but here he was). 

All he could conjure in response was the dumbest, non-human sound. 

“Nngh.” 

It was a grunt from the back of his throat - too much blood swelling to his cock all at once and too much direct attention from you making him dizzy. 

You giggled quietly. 

“Come on, baby. Just say the word. And Mommy will give you everything you need.” 

Spencer inhaled sharply. At this point, he was desperate to get some oxygen to his brain. 

His mind was racing, chanting out: 

‘Yes! God, yes! I want it so badly, Mommy! I want anything you’ll give me. I need you. I need you so badly.’ 

But all his lips could form in the wake of such dizzying lust was: 

“Please.” 

“Good boy.” You sighed. 

You used a hand on his chin to tilt his face up to meet yours, and you consumed him in a kiss - he was hungry and eager to meet your touch, moaning loudly into your mouth, his hands racing to touch you now, rushing up to grip on your hips in the most utterly needy way. He balled the fabric of your shirt in his fists, like he couldn’t get enough of you - like he was afraid you would dissolve away if he let go of you for even a second. 

It was cute, to say the least. 

You only let the kiss last for a moment, though. You pulled away to a disappointed whine from Spencer, which you quietly hushed. 

“Hey, it’s okay baby.” You soothed him. “Come here. Mommy’s gonna take good care of you.” 

You lead him toward the bed, getting rid of his tie in the process, and Spencer stepped out of his shoes along the way. You slid onto the bed and laid up on the pillows on your back, Spencer clumsily following you, crawling on all fours. The two of you had barely started, but he was full-on panting now, racing to catch his breath while his blood hammered through his veins. 

He watched on with eager curiosity while you got comfortable, fluffing the pillow under your head before you then reached down and pulled up your shirt. You pulled the fabric to sit up under your chin, finally revealing your gorgeous breasts to him. 

If he was lost for words before, then he had receded back to a total neanderthal now. 

His mouth fell open and his salivary glands started working overtime as his eyes raked hungrily over your chest - enjoying the pure beauty of the fatty mounds, striped with zig-zagging stretch marks and completed by your hard peaked nipples. 

“Here, come on, baby.” 

You had to remind Spencer what the goal was, guiding him into place with a hand on the back of his head. You helped ease his body to lay on top of yours as he relaxed into you - and his mouth finally found its rightful place on your breast. He became greedy, suctioning hard on your nipple as though he might actually get something out of it. 

Truthfully, he did get something out of this. 

It definitely wasn’t any form of nutrition, but it was something that drove him lustfully insane and made his head fuzzy and warm in the best way. This was the only time in his entire life that he didn’t have ten thousand thoughts running through his mind like the news blasting on television in the background. This was the only time since his first conscious memory that he had actually known his mind to be quiet. 

He felt intensely thankful for it. Intensely thankful toward you for giving him this feeling. 

In that moment, without all the noise, all he knew was the comforting feeling of your fat tit under his mouth, the heat of your body under his own as you cradled him. The soothing firmness of your hands through his hair and down his back - and the distant, sweet purring of your voice in his ears. 

“Good boy.” You hummed, loving the feeling of him moaning around your nipple - so constant and so greedy now that you were sure he didn’t even know that he was doing it. “Such a good boy for me. Such a good boy for Mommy.” 

Your cunt was humming between your thighs, aching so hard at seeing Spencer like this. The usually composed, intelligent, practically robotic Doctor Reid reduced down to a blubbering, moaning, needy mess just because he wanted to suck on your tits. 

Just because you had called yourself Mommy a few times in his presence. 

It was so utterly beautiful, and you wanted more. 

(You didn’t think that you could ever let him go after this. You probably wouldn’t be able to stand the idea of another woman touching him after this. But you would have to think on that more later.) 

You noticed Spencer canting his hips, unconsciously seeking friction against his hard cock while he continued to suck on your breast. With his eyes closed blissfully, drool gathering around his lips where they met your skin in the most utterly adorable way. You couldn’t help yourself - you scooted your knee between his thighs. You then used a hand to help his hips into place, adjusting him so that he was getting good friction against your denim-clad thigh. 

“There you go. There you go, sweet boy.” You hummed, feeling another jolt through your body when he let out a sharper moan against your tit, and began humping your leg in earnest. 

You were quick to encourage him, putting both hands on his hips and helping him along while he greedily hung onto you. He had on your hip, the other hand slipping up to cup fingers around the bottom of your breast, making sure you didn’t escape him while he moved his body against you so frantically. 

“That’s just what you needed, isn’t it, baby?” You moaned out, your voice wavering slightly as the pleasure of it all thrummed through you. “Just a dumb little baby who needed Mommy’s tit.” 

The term ‘dumb little baby’ came flying out of your mouth before you could stop it. Though you knew exactly why it happened. Seeing such a brilliant genius reduced down to this truly did something to your ego. And apparently hearing those words from you did something to him, too. 

He whined sharply against your skin and his hips stuttered abruptly. You knew it wouldn’t be long before he came in his pants, his cock throbbing against the friction of your thigh. And this thought alone caused your mouth to run off without restraint. 

“Such a needy little thing.” You sighed. “You love being Mommy’s dumb baby, don’t you? Not a single fucking thought between your ears, just sucking on Mommy’s tit without a care in the world.” 

Spencer moaned and it sent another jolt through your body - another harsh pang through your cunt. You loved how much he needed you. You loved how much he was clearly eating this up. 

You didn’t even care if you got to cum tonight; you just wanted to exhaust him for all he was worth. Because he was so fucking pretty like this. 

“You gonna cum for me, baby boy? You gonna cum for Mommy? Come on, baby. Cum for me.” 

These words were what ultimately sent him over the edge. Well that along with your strong hands on his hips, encouraging him along while he was mindless and busy mouthing on your breast.

His jaw dropped open, finally loosening that desperate suction on your now slightly sore nipple as he began to pant frantically over your now spit-soaked skin. He moaned hotly while he humped you in an entirely adorable, almost distraught manner - absolutely desperate to have the most friction on his cock while his orgasm overtook him. 

You could feel his needy cock throbbing against you, trapped inside of his pants, shooting off hot ropes of cum that quickly soaked into his underwear and even then, seeped into the fabric of his slacks. You grinned and bit your lip as you felt that wetness even beginning to soak into your jeans, knowing he must have set off quite a big load. 

Spencer soon collapsed on top of you, gulping in air as he tried to catch his breath. 

Any normal person would have taken pity on him (seeing as he was clearly nervous and inexperienced) and wound things down to end the night here. Anyone else would have likely let him rest. 

But again, you felt devilish temptation overtake you. (It was a feeling that seemed to be much more ripe around Spencer Reid.) 

You just felt thankful that your temptation and inclination toward chaos came in the form of lust, rather than something more violent, like the people you studied every single day. Everyone around you should be thankful for that. 

You used your leverage (and the fact that you weren’t nearly as exhausted from the experience) to flip him over onto his back. He let out a surprised sound as his back made contact with the mattress - blinking up at you with shocked, glassy eyes as you moved down his body slightly. 

“Wha-?” He mumbled out the question, only getting out part of the word before you reached for the zipper on the front of his now wet pants. 

“Hey, shh, baby. I just wanna see you.” You told him quietly, causing him to stare down the length of his own body at your hands as you worked. 

You got the button and zipper undone quickly and you let out a quiet ‘fuck’ as you peeled back the wet fabric of his grey slacks to reveal the sight of his simplistic (very Reid) white cotton underwear slightly transparent and stuck tight to his cock, coated in wet, sticky cum. 

“So pretty baby.” 

He only whined in response. 

You couldn’t help yourself - you reached up and pulled down the waistband of his underwear, feeling more lust pricking through you as he was truly revealed to your eyes. He was perfect. Glossy and wet with his own release, his cock pinky red from the exertion and friction, still half hard. You pulled the clothes down over his hips and he lifted his body to help you, clearly glad to be rid of the mess, and the second you untangled the fabric from his ankles and ditched everything aside, you were back on him. 

You skimmed the tips of your fingers oh-so-lightly up his shaft where it was sprawled across his pelvis, and his hips jolted. He let out a bitter gasp - as though cold water had been splashed across him. 

“You said-” He choked on the words as you ran your thumb right underneath the crown, gently pressing into the head, causing him to choke on a moan while his knees quaked. 

You sat on his knees to keep him still and his head became so fuzzy once again. 

‘You said that you only wanted to look.’ 

The sentence died off in his lungs somewhere, and truthfully - he didn’t want to protest. He didn’t want you to stop. 

“Sens-sensitive.” He whined. “Too much.” 

“But you’re so pretty, baby.” You replied, your voice turning smooth and warm like butter again, melting over his whole body, causing all of his muscles to go soft and pliant for you. “Your cock is so pretty. I need to touch you.” 

He let out another strangled noise when you cupped your hand and took him fully in your grip this time, giving one good tug across his cock from root to tip. When you did this again, faster this time, his lungs seized inside his chest - trying to take in oxygen so quickly, as though he were drowning on dry land. 

“You gonna be good for me, baby?” 

“Yes.” He gargled back in response. “Yes, Mommy.” 

He was already so wet from cumming in his pants, and he let out a pathetic dribble of precum as you continued to move your hand - so it was an easy, slick slide. One that sent harsh shockwaves through him from overstimulation. Against his own will, he soon ballooned back to full hardness - becoming painfully swollen in your hand while you sped up your touch and closed your fist tighter around him. It caused the most wonderful hurt between his legs, and made a downright filthy wet sound as you pumped your grip faster along his needy cock. 

Spencer heard wailing and felt the soreness against his throat before he realized that he was the one making those desperate sounds. He distantly wondered what it might sound like to someone else, if the rooms on either side were occupied, if the motel would receive a noise complaint about some frail woman getting fucked to death by her husband next door - because that’s what he sounded like in his own ears. 

But any of those half-thoughts were chased out of his brain the second you flicked your thumb up over the head of his cock and your dirty mouth filled his ears once again. 

“Gonna milk this pretty cock, baby.” You told him, your voice firm. “You gonna show Mommy how much you can cum for me? Gonna show me what a good boy you are?” 

Spencer let out another pathetic sound, his body singing with pleasure at his pure need to prove to you that - yes, he was a good boy. 

He felt tears wet on the side of his face before he realized that he was crying, but it was all too good to ask you to stop. 

You used your other hand to cradle his balls and you swooped down to capture his gasping mouth in another kiss (a very messy, open mouthed kiss that Spencer could barely pay attention to). Spencer screamed into your mouth while he painted his stomach with cum once again.

You only stopped jerking his cock once you had truly milked every last drop from him, his hips seizing up off the bed and your hand almost slipping off him completely from how sloppily wet it was with more of his cum added to the mix. 

He was purely exhausted then. His eyes blinked heavily, struggling to stay open. He vaguely remembered you cleaning him off and tucking him into bed - but he definitely enjoyed falling asleep curled up next to your warmth. 

…

The next morning, Spencer felt hungover. 

He wondered if that’s what good sex always felt like - the combination of endorphins rushing through your body and physical exertion tackling you over. His legs were sore, as though he had run several miles. (Which wasn’t even something he could make a bold comparison to anyway, because he didn’t exercise nearly as much as he should for someone with this job). He woke up starving, grateful when you drove to a diner down the road after checking out of the motel and planted him in one of the booths before going outside to call Hotch in order to touch base with the rest of the team. 

You came back with a small grin on your face. 

“Turns out that tip the ex-wife gave us about their first house in Arlington was pretty solid.” You told Reid. “They caught the guy on his way there. He had another girl in the trunk. They got her back mostly unarmed, and took him into custody.” 

Spencer nodded. “That’s good.” 

When he moved to grab another sugar packet out of the caddy on the side of the table, three of them already open and empty beside his cup of coffee, you grabbed him by the wrist. 

“That’s enough, baby.” You told him. 

His stomach curled, that distinct feeling running through him again. And against his will, that word slipped out - again. 

“Yes, Mommy.”

...

A/N: This is a standalone oneshot. There won't be a sequel or a continuation, so please do not ask for one. If you liked the fic, please comment about the body of work that has been written, or consider reblogging to show your appreciation. If you want to see more Spencer Reid fics that I have written, you can check out my Criminal Minds Masterlist, or you can check out my Masterlists for other fandoms to see if anything catches your eye. Thank you for reading!

[memoirs-of-learning-dad]

The biggest thing on my mind is Paapu's birthday party tomorrow. Btw paapu means baby in my native tongue and that's what I call my little one.

The little hurricane will be 2 year old. F***!! 2 years, I have done this, don't know how. Just stumbling through one day at a time, learning as I go; jumping into the deep end. We are having a party with some friends coming over. Ordered some snacks, getting a custom cake.

Today we cleaned the entire house - paapu helped as well, lol! It was hilarious she was holding a broom and acting like it was a vacuum. But it was a fun day. I'm at my best and most comfortable when the three of us spend time like this. Just doing normal things around the house, hanging out with each other. Tomorrow will be different. There will be guests.

I'm nervous. Is our house big enough to fit that many people comfortably? Is paapu gonna freak out because of all these people? She's had serious strangers anxiety the past couple of months. Are we supposed to entertain the guests or something? How do I do that? Wifey (sorry for the cliche nickname, but I'll think of something better) says she's gonna do some activities with the kids in the party. well wtf are the adults going to do? watch the kids? there are some guests that are coming who don't have kids. Am I supposed to, like, go around talking to all the people? Lol, so awkward making small talk. I don't even have that many topics to talk about, lol, forget thinking about common topics for discussion with each of them. And it's a small space everybody will be so crowded.. ugh. I seriously wish I hadn't lost my conversation skills after college.

How do you guys deal with such things? I don't want paapu to see me all nervous and awkward around people, shy, and develop the same way. She's a badass already - she's unafraid. she's not even two, and in grocery stores and parks she used to literally walk up to people look them in the eye, say hi, interact and everything. But she's becoming shy, is it because she sees us (both wife and me are kind of shy introverts) and learns? Or is it just a phase of strangers anxiety? How do I make sure she keeps her confidence and spirit?

Anyway, I hope it will be a fun couple of hours tomorrow. My parents will join via zoom, hopefully my dad doesn't spread negativity by passing some stupid comment and hurting, insulting, provoking my wife. God, I just want a birthday party with no drama, is that too much to ask? There's just been so much drama lately, oof, so much tension, it's unhealthy. I know he's going to say something to either me or my wife or do something that's going to affect me. What bothers me is that paapu is able to read my face, my expressions, my body language and figure out whenever I get sad or upset or agitated. It's amazing how much emotional intelligence a 2 year old kid has, it blows my mind. No I can't let that happen, I have to focus on maintaining my composure tomorrow, think about the party only, paapu only. It's about paapu I hope it stays about paapu. Is it normal for married/committed men? The tension between wife and parents? Is a big part of being husband, just being torn between the two parties? How do you guys deal with all that? I'm seriously open to getting suggestions. Either way, I think I have found a healthy way for myself. well at least it's been working quite well for the past couple of months - no drama. What is it, you ordinary troubled men ask? Listening. Don't try to be a hero, don't try to be a peacemaker. Both parties just want you to listen to their grievances. I believe in the goodness in people - I believe neither do your parents expect you to go fight with the spouse nor does the spouse expect you to fight with parents. Well, at least that's what I believe. Nobody wants confrontation or drama. When one party is bitching about the other, just listen - don't let the opinions register or impact, don't act. Just say the magic words "I hear you".

Anyway, I was sidetracked there quite a bit, lol. Coming back to the party, I hope it goes well. Only the best for paapu you know? I'm so looking forward to seeing her face when she cuts the cake - it's a jungle themed cake, she absolutely loves animals, seeing her being the center of attention, lovely!!

Also hoping that I can finally try and strike deeper friendships with some of the guests. I mean, I literally don't have any friends here who I can hang out with or talk. I don't know if it's COVID lockdown or just a part of growing up and becoming a parent, but I really don't feel like I have friends anymore. you know the kind you go out for a drink with or get high. Somebody you can call for when you need them. There's nobody like that for me anymore. It's been like this for almost 5 years now, it's about time I open up a bit, reach out and make some new friends. There's this couple of neighbor dudes I'm hoping to strike a deeper connection with. One's my next door neighbor, that guy is cool, we have a lot of common interests, he's geeky, into strange music, loves fantasy and movies and sci-fi, likes hikes and nature. I think we can be good friends, but I'm just scared of reaching out to him to ask to hang out. 16 months we've lived next to each other, I have asked him to go for a drink with me once. Then there's this other guy, he's smart, we hit it off immediately he had the same cultural upbringing as mine, he's a new parent too, so there's a lot of life and personal struggles and issues we can connect about and talk. But, he has a 1 year old - I know how busy and stressful it is when your kid is that young. I'm making an effort to hang out more with this guy, hoping it blossoms into a nice friendship.

So ya. No pressure, anybody who reads this, please send good wishes to paapu, and pray that everything goes well, no drama. Hope y'all have a wonderful day, after all it's a special day for me and I'm sending good vibes to the world!

[dimpledlavendeer]

I think I'm running out of ideas 🥲

This is again long and suggestive 😩

I love Hee sm 🖤

Heeseung when he has a night off and wants to spend it with you

He had an hectic schedule so it's been a while since you two saw each other

He was available that night and he asked you to spend the night with him since he was off work early

You missed him sm so ofc you accepted his offer

He looked so tired but was saying he was fine

Correction Hee looked tired and gorgeous

I mean you didn't even know what the reason was but Hee just looked so hot to your eyes rn

"Damn it y/n it's not the time for it, He is tired" you thought

But when Hee said he was gonna take a shower your struggle got worse :')

Now Hee was sitting next to you with his long wet hair eating ramyeon while he was the snack to your eyes LMAO

You were supposed to eat with him but you couldn't bc you were so busy eating him with your eyes

Hee was tired but not stupid especially when it comes to well yk ;)

So he realized you weren't eating instead you were just staring

"Are you not hungry baby?"

"Huh? Oh I... uhm I am hun- hungry.."

You were stuttering and you hated how small you sound while answering a simple question just because of the way he looked

On the other hand he was quite amused so he tried to talk with you more

"Then why don't you eat?" He said licking his lips

Ofc your gaze shifted to his lips and stayed there "I...uhm I am ea- eating"

He got closer to you and looked at you eyes staring into your soul

"Really? Your plate is still full tho..." He pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear "and it looks like there's something occupying your mind rn wanna share what it is baby?"

Crap you thought, he caught you

"No no I'm fine really" you managed to say and grabbed your chopsticks to eat

He hold your chin very gently and made you look at him

"You didn't miss me y/n?"

"I did"

"Then why don't you just do what you're thinking about right now?"

"D-do w-what I'm thinking about?"

Hee came close only to peck your lips and pulled off

His stare was on you Cleary expecting a move while he was biting on his lower lip in anticipation

He honestly was so handsome, his long hair complementing his beautiful cheekbones and his lips were just so pink and pretty

So you did what hee wanted being even more daring

You get up from your chair and sit on his lap, making him smile in satisfaction

Pecked his lips like he did to yours and without even giving him a chance for a deeper kiss you just tilted his head

You started to kiss his jawline and then his earlobe

"I missed you so much Heeseung" you whispered while you were still kissing his bare neck

"You did?" He said slightly pinching your thighs

"How can I make it up to you for being so busy and not being able to spend more time with you baby?" He asked in a low voice with a meaning behind it

You knew where this was going but you just wanted to let him play with you like this because you missed him and it has been a while since you touched him like this

"You can kiss me to make me forget how lonely I was" you said in a whispering tone, still kissing his neck

His grip tightened and he hold your hair to make you look at him before saying "as you wish baby"

He just licked your lips and moved on with your jawline and neck getting revenge for what you did to him

He was smelling like vanilla and adding his tongue on your neck, you were about to EXPLODE because of the sexual tension in the room

When Hee finally lifted up his head to look at you already melting under his touch, he didn't hesitate to kiss you

His lips were so soft unlike the way he is kissing you, his tongue invading your mouth, his teeth biting on your lower lip

You let out a whine when he pulled of to say "Is this the way I can make you forgive me baby?"

YES it was but you needed more ;)

"You need to try harder than that" you said with a smirk

You knew how competitive your boyfriend was and you loved it about him

With what you said he smashed his lips onto yours while lifting you up and making you sit on the dinner table

He was in between your legs and he squeezed your thighs before pulling you even closer

One of his hands were behind your back to support you and the other hand was drawing circles on your thigh

It was obvious how much Hee missed you and wanted more although he was trying hard to stay in control

He laid you down on the table

"Stay still" He said with a low voice

When he get down in between your tighs you were about to scream and out of reflex you tried to close your legs

He hold your thighs to let them stay spread open and raised his head to talk to you

"Relax baby, I won't do anything you don't want me to remember?" He said with a reassuring voice

He was kissing your inner thighs using his freaking tongue to tease you more with the wetness he left everywhere his lips touched

His hands were drawing small circles on your outer thighs but nothing was able to calm you down

HE WAS DOWN THERE AND YOU JUST WERE SO NERVOUS

"Heeseung.."

"Mmh?"

You were shaking bc of how nervous you are and he realized that

"Let me calm you down please y/n" he said looking at you with his doe eyes

"Just trust me, I won't go too far I promise" he said eyes literally begging

You pushed his head back to its older position, between your thighs

He carried on from where he left off, moving upper on your thigh and his little kisses and bites got more harsher during the process

You just let out a small moan when he bite on your thigh, sucking the flesh and then leaving wet kisses

Your brain wasn't working at the moment because of him and he lift his head up with a satisfied smile on his face

He lifted you up on the table carrying you to his bedroom

He slowly put you on the sheets and gave you a small kiss on the lips

You pulled him onto the bed kissing him harshly unlike him and that made him smile into the kiss

You dig your nails into his back under his shirt slightly and that made him bite your lower lip

He pulled of and hold your hands on top of your head without letting you move

"Stop teasing me y/n"

"Thank God I'm tired and I can't do more to you Hee"

"Is that a promise baby?"

"Promise?"

"Will you tease me better next time?" Hee said leaving a wet kiss your lips

It made you lift your hips unconsciously, which made him moan

"I swear to God y/n-"

"Yes Heeseung i will tease you better next time" you said, now you were the one who was smirking

You both were tired so you knew he was going easy on you, he released your hands and kissed you softly this time while getting off of you

"You better keep your promise next time y/n"

"You want me that bad huh Heeseung?"

He got closer after your words and you started giggling

"Give me one reason to stop rn, y/n" he said while kissing you

"What if I don't?"

He lifted you from the sheets and made you sit on his lap while you're still on the bed

His hands were ready to lift your shirt up until you stopped him and hugged him tightly

"I love you so much Heeseung, I missed you a lot" you said with a soft voice

A big smile formed on his face and you could feel it while his face was buried on your neck

He let you fall next to him on the bed

"You have no idea how much I missed you y/n"

His gazed was locked on you and it didn't take him long to see how tired you were

He gave you a big "MWAH" on the cheeks "Good night baby, I love you and I'm sorry"

"Don't be sorry, I love you too, good night Heeseung"

Thank you for reading and sorry if I made any mistakes with wording, I speak English but it's not my native tongue, I hope you liked it ^^

[fateheartblog]

The "And he tells him" passage from the chapter Wine and Tongues in Fateheart: A Starless Seaquel.

I've had a few people now tell me that this is one of their favourite passages from Fateheart, and I'm not surprised - it's one of mine as well.

There are a lot of reasons why, but I have been thinking a lot lately about one in particular. There is a beautiful, beautiful thing you can do with language when writing gay or non-heteronormatively-gendered relationships, which is to abandon names and run with the aligning pronouns so that the characters start to merge - so that the reader can't follow who is who. Identity starts to blend, self collapses into self, and two lives get entangled so deeply that the narrative itself stops bothering trying to separate one from the other.

Is there a more lovely way to capture what happens when two people fall in love? A dissolution of the edges of one's self, as deeply as the words used to tell the story of that self.

This passage is quite specific to Zachary and Dorian - you can pick out details of the stories they're telling just about enough to still tell who is who if you really try, until the second part - which is quoted above just underneath the image. Where the blending has occurred and it no longer matters the slightest bit whose voice is whose - the lines repeat, their story has become the same story.

I am also in love with the power of "mother tongues" in this context. It is an obvious and delightful double entendre, but also that central image of voice as self - of one's native language being a defining part of that self - and the wine being part of what breaks down that barrier - the way wine is often wont to - oh boy. No matter how much I re-use the pronoun-blending in the future (which I'm gonna - I don't think I could ever write a straight couple again), I don't think I'll ever find another couple so suited to this particular outworking of it.

Love as the "self beyond the self" was a huge theme in this story as well. Beyond what is specific to Zachary and Dorian, to wine and stories and books and a love of reading, this passage is an active demonstration of what happens when you pour yourself into someone else, and they give you just as much back: all your stories become someone else's, and all theirs become yours in return. The self in each of those stories becomes the self you are passing back and forth so fast that nobody - not the reader, nor the writer - can tell to whom it belongs.

Anyway read Fateheart, my fan-sequel to Erin Morgenstern's The Starless Sea here on Ao3. It's quite good.

-- Boogleboot

-- From Fateheart: A Starless Seaquel - Part Two, Chapter Twenty: Wine and Tongues

Their mother tongues tangle together until the stories blend into one voice that runs between them like wine. And he tells him about reading. And he tells him about reading. And he tells him about books. And he tells him about books. And he tells him about the silence that sings. And he tells him about the taste of pale sunlight when you’ve made it to the after-dark and the final pages. And he tells him about the storm nobody can see through. And he tells him about stories. And he says he knows them. And he says he does too.

[theoriquewitherseld]

Heck I DO wanna know more! I'm super interested in thia fic 👀

OK I am SUPER happy receiving this ask, but alas all I can offer is a lot of excerpts,, more under the cut

When Jacques arrives at Stain'd, he finds the records to be VERY accurate: it's a deadzone. That would likely explain the weird look the conductor gave him when he requested to get off. There's no longer anybody here

Back then there must have been some, perhaps, in order to enact Lem's apprenticeship. But he still regards the situation with an air of apprehension. Large chunk of reports were missing, reports that were leading up to his disappearance. It could be that VFD hid it, of course, but intentional or not, its denominator remains the same: something monumentally terrible occured for that to happen.

And he will have to walk straight to it. Or at least, its aftermath.

The rattle of the train leaving startles him, and he shakes off his nerves. He wants so badly to get back on the train, jump on the railings perhaps but the rear has gotten quite a distance away. He's already alone.

(Oh God I just realized I have no idea what people do after they get off trains. Should there be like people taking ur tickets or something?? Ive been on a train only once and that was super long ago)

The Stain'd Station was utterly deprived of life. Everything was cracked and looked in the danger of falling apart. Litter and dirt was strewn all around. There was no place that Jacques just wanted more to bail out of immediately (except, perhaps, that one wasp-infested area but that is besides the point). It unnerves him, to listen to the echoes of his footsteps in the abandoned station, with its business nothing more than a ghost of its past. It rattles him more than the rattle of train wheels on the tracks. But he trudges on, hoping to find some clue.

Out on the street was no better. All buildings were boarded up, some windows smashed. Brown grass was growing out of the sidewalks. There was few vehicles on the side of the road: a brown rusty one with its hood popped up and its insides gone, a yellow cab so terribly dented, and a black one with its paint job scratched and all four of its tires missing. It was a miserable place, not fit for any human life, much less an apprenticeship. He grimaces in dismay. This is where they dumped his brother? Even as a containment procedure, it was a bit much. No person should be in this place.

But that wasn't the most pressing issue. The most pressing issue is where to start. He does not have the faintest idea where he is in this desolate town, much less where his brother stayed for the duration in the past — except for the address of The Lost Arms. But that information was useless without a map, and every other map he scoured to know about the town has vehemently insisted that Stain'd-By-The-Sea does not exist. Whether VFD has already tampered with those maps, he can not tell.

He had hoped there may be a clue in there, some forgotten item, a thing accidentally left behind. But with no map, his best course of action is to simply search every establishment and hope for serendipity. Not all of the best things are necessarily good things.

He hears a rumble of an engine.

His gaze snaps upwards, puzzled if whether or not he had imagined it. Then he can see the yellow dented cab making its way towards him at a snail's pace. Jacques's heart stops, and gripped his suitcase until his knuckles turned white. It was a trusty little suitcase, filled with tools and files that are of great use of him, but he's not so sure if it were of any use against a damned ghost cab. If it were really a ghost. If Kit was here, she would've scoffed at him. But he's not really feeling up to an argument, not when his feet was stuck to the pavement, body frozen into place. He stares, heart pounding like there was no tomorrow as the taxi pulls up to its side, exactly right in front of him, and stops.

But then the window rolls down, and Jacques felt very, very foolish, but immensely relieved, as it reveals a worn and much younger face of a boy with a busted blue cap.

"Well, hello there friend," he says, with a voice just as tired. "Another visitor was the last thing we expected, but —" he gives a small shrug, "— here we are. Need a taxi?"

It took him a moment to realize how stupid he looked with his mouth gaping open. "I-I'm sorry," Jacques stammered, once he found his voice. "We?"

Another younger face pops up from below the young driver, and Jacques nearly jumps in surprise. "That would be us, the Bellerophon brothers," he reveals with a squeaky but cracked voice. "I'm Pecuchet, and this—" he points upward, and his brother tipped his hat at him, " — is Bouvard, but that makes people's tongue tired, so you can call him Pip, and me, Squeak."

The driver known as "Pip" frowned. "Are you alright though? You've looked like you've seen a ghost."

His eyes fluttered. "Er  — Yes, yes, I... I am afraid I also didn't expect anyone to come here either." He tips his white hat at them in turn. "Greetings to you, I am Ja— James Moore."

Internally, he cringed. It was a sloppy pseudonym, but he can't risk revealing who he is in the potential situation VFD managed to track his trail, they wouldn't be able to hold incriminating evidence against him. Curiously, it didn't arouse much suspicion from the odd duo, except for a slight tilt of the head.

"Well, nice to meet you Mr. Moore. Do you need a ride anywhere?"

Jacques is not quite sure what to think of climbing into a cab with kids of odd names in an abandoned town. However, his relief in discovering that there is fellow life, inexplicable as it is, and a likelier possibility of gaining information triumphed over whatever reservations he had at the moment. In the pursuit of his search, with its very nonexistent lead, he'd take anything.

"I'd like to go to the Lost Arms please."

"Sure," Pip reached out behind him and opened the door. "Hop in."

He pauses, and then climbs in and closes it shut, and soon enough, the two brothers drive away from the Station with startlingly expert hands on both wheel and brakes. Jacques is fairly impressed at their coordination.

"Say," Pip starts, once they got a quite the distance away. "Apologies if it sounds prying, friend, but out of curiosity, what business does a stranger have with Stain'd-By-The-Sea?"

That shook him out of his stupor. Idiotically, he hasn't prepared for that, he was ascertain there won't be anyone here, he even got business cards and all but it's not in his suitcase (which he wants to smack himself on). His mind blanks for a moment, but he manages to scramble an answer that isn’t necessarily a lie nor a truth. "I am private investigator hired to search for someone last seen in this town."

Pip looked at him through the rearview mirror, which was a bit dirty and cracked. "Oh? That certainly does explain why someone wants to be in this town."

Jacques didn't bother to clarify he does NOT want to be here at all, but he nods his head instead.

He expertly steered the wheel. "You wouldn't happen to be allowed the details no? Sorry, but interesting things have rarely happened here since..."

"I'm afraid not, no," Jacques blinks. That felt off. "Speaking of visitors, you haven't happened to have driven someone around lately no?"

"Until you came along? Not one for the past year. No outsiders at the very least."

He deflates a little, but he's unsurprised. So he really wasn't here recently. He was about ask more, when the taxi came to a stop in front of a shabby and derelict building he would presume to be the Lost Arms.

Once again, Pip reached out to open the door for him. "Here we are then, Mr. Moore."

"Thank you," he says, retrieving his wallet. "How much is the fare?"

Pip blinked in surprise. Then his eyes flickered towards the wallet, and his eyes widened further. "Huh, I never expected a paying customer today either."

It puzzles him so much that he tilts his head. Did they just let him ride as a charity? "Well, it's only natural to pay for a service, no?"

He just shrugged. "It's alright. Keep the money, it's not gonna be much use anyways, with the state of the town. You may wanna give that to the proprietor though —" he nods to the building, "— Prosper Lost."

"Well, I shan't dare to think of leaving this taxi without giving something in return," Jacques insisted.

"How about a tip then?"

"A tip?" he frowns. "A tip what?"

"Anything really, s'long as its useful."

That got him thinking. He thought of giving them a tip of accepting money when they get it and leave this terrifying place, but decided against. He then looks up.

"Here's a tip, there's this book that..." he trails off, feeling a painful lump form in his throat. "That my associate enjoys. Champion of the World, heard of it?"

~

Ellington feels the bitter sweetness on her tongue. The air was damp and cold after the shower, having ceased into droplets. Everything reminded her the cool greens and blues of a watercolor painting. At the distance, the light of the morning sun peaks through. She's glad she's getting some pieces of her back, but some of the damage will be permanent, and some things are just lost forever. Seeing the Association and strangers and natives to Killdeer fields all work together to set things right was amazing, but also drove home on the tragedy of Armstrong Feint, whose pursuit of vengeance blinded him, destroyed himself and set back hopes of recovery for years. The pain he inflicted was an unnecessary cruelty, that if he had bothered to spare, even the tinniest bit of mercy and offered his help, he would've witnessed the return of the sea and the recovery of the environment, and they could've been together.

But he had made a decision. All of their parents did — the Mallahans, the Hixes, the Knights, the Bellerophons, the Losts. What's done is done.

She remembers a line that her father read her once, many years ago. It was the book where Snicket claimed a wizard was not so very helpful, and that her father loved because of its elaborate descriptions of trees. Many elaborate description of trees.

"'I wish it need not have happened in my time,' said Frodo." Ellington murmurs to herself.

"'So do I,' said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.'"

She stares at the sky.

~

But there was a knock at the door

They both froze. Moxie is still on the phone — with who, Kellar didn't hear.

It could be anyone, Kellar thought, perhaps some coworkers who forgot their stuff, or has the intention to work overtime. It may even be some neighbor, asking for help or providing assistance. It could even be a fellow Associate. There's no reason really, to think there could be enemies on the other side.

But he walked anyway. His breathing far too loud and uneven, yet his pace cautious and fearful. He calls out, "Who's there?"

No answer.

"I'm warning you," he says slowly, attempting to keep the tremble out of his voice, "that I'm armed."

Silence. It's a blatant lie of course, but no matter how he strained his ears, he still can't hear anyone walking away. They’re not fooled.

He motions to Moxie to get ready to run. A few seconds, he could buy that. Enough seconds to scramble whatever data they need and bolt like hell. Kellar doesn't see if she saw it.

The door is inches away from him now. His heart pounded in his chest. His hands carefully placed on the dark wood, and he looked into the peephole.

Kellar had barely moved his head in time just to dodge the blast shot that would've blown away bits of his brain, but had blown off half of his right ear instead.

He screamed, it hurt, hurt worse than anything he'd known and he's sure he's lost his hearing there, but he let the wound bleed and instead ducked and braced himself against the door to keep them from opening it. "Moxie run!"

~

"Look at him. Look. At. Him." Pip hissed, and Squeak looked at them with an air of innocence. "You think that's an angel?? A beacon of innocence?? Wrong. That's bastard incarnate. The single source of maliciousness on this earthly realm. Look. Look how evil he looks. He's a little prick."

~

"Frankly, I'd love to have a sibling," Cleo said.

Kellar looked at her as if she said something deranged and jabs a thumb towards Lizzie. "No, you don't. I love my sister, but you think she won't sell me off to the circus first chance she gets?" He shook his head. "Think again."

~

"Dibs."

"What the—" Moxie then scowled. "That was too fast."

Snicket just shrugged. "I have two older siblings, Moxie. The true nature of siblings... Is natural selection."

"Are you certain you should be using big boy words like that?" Ellington asked, bemused. "I'm fairly certain you can't even differentiate a crocodile and an alligator."

~

"If I may introduce you to my family," Jacques says.

He points to Kit emerging from his side. "— Parasite number one—".

And he points to Snicket as he emerges from the other. "— and Parasite number two."

~

"Alright, does anyone have any questions?" Jacques asks tiredly.

They all raise their hands.

"That isn’t sarcastic," he snaps.

They all lowered their hands, disappointed.

Jacques sighs. "Lizzie, you've got the stage."

~

"Just what time is it?" Ellington inquires, exhausted.

"Hang on," Kit smiled, and instead of whipping out a clock, she instead produces a clarinet. She took a deep breath, and blew. Before she could even make it to the second note, they look up at the ceiling— startled— suddenly hearing a very muffled but very clear yell from Jacques, Kit, are you seriously playing the clarinet at 2 IN THE DAMN MORNING.

They look down. Kit still has a devilish smile plastered.

"It's 2 am," she announces.

[blackssuunn-mandoandyodito]

1/ Yes, hello, I'm here to talk about your fics! (Disclaimer: this might get long af, I apologize in advance). Okay! First up we have your beautiful "Tabaco y Brea", a story full of pining idiots, yearning and Javi being smitten (AKA my favorite combination). The banter-y and occasionally aggressive dynamic between your main characters is hilarious to read, and I absolutely adored all the scenes where Javi tries to make Bera happy or is happy when she is happy (the food scene, for example). ~ 🍪

2/ And when Helena told Bera about Javi saying Bera's name during sex? I died. I'm literally dead. You're talking to my ghost right now. Seriously, you write Javi in a way that makes me swoon and it's great!! 🥺 Also, am I the only one who wants to hear the Bera nickname origin story already?? Also, the Spanish is really good (I know that since you're Mexican (as stated in your bio), Spanish is probably your mother tongue, but yeah). ~ 🍪

(Everything else under the cut bc both me and this lovely anon got long with our words XD)

3/ I'm aware this is kind of unfair to writers who don't speak Spanish fluently, but reading a Javi story where there's dialogue in Spanish that is actually well-written and has no grammatical errors is just really refreshing. As a native Spanish speaker, I thank you from the bottom of my heart lol. | Also, I'm just gonna talk real quick about "Breaking Point". It's just really adorable! 🥺🥺. ~ 🍪

4/ Like, we have more yearning and pining, which is great, but also some great Din introspection that you wrote masterfully. I very much agree with this characterization, frankly. And the scene at the end? THE SCENE AT THE END? I'm crying (of happiness, of course) | I also read "Trembling", which was much more painful than what should be allowed. For a moment there I even though there might be a happy ending (how naive of me, isn't it?). ~ 🍪

5/5 I'm too sad to even review it properly! (It was really well-written, truly) | Also, meaningless note, but when I read the "Updated: 09/07/2020" I automatically read it the American way and was like "Is she from the FUTURE??" for like 2 seconds until I realized you were saying the date the NORMAL way and then I started laughing | Anyways, you are a great author! Have a nice day! ~ 🍪

Hello!

Okay, first of all, you're an angel. You can't begin to imagine how much this meant to me, I cried a lot (I'm a crybaby what can I tell ya) when I read all your asks because I had never gotten asks like these, you're so sweet and the way you talk about my work warmed my heart, cleared my skin and made me healthy. So yeah, I'll be forever grateful for this asks, thank you♥️

Now on to the answer. Please never apologize for sending long asks! As I said before, I don't get many and when I do they mean the world to me so feel free to send as much long asks as you want to, I'll read them a hundred times and then answer with happy tears streaming down my face.

I'm so happy you like TyB! I put a lot of work into that one and it has a special place in my heart. The fact that you mentioned the thing about food made me smile because I didn't think anyone noticed how important food is in this fic but you did so, my hat is off to you now!

(They can be a pair of pining idiots, uh? It will be okay though)

When I wrote that scene with Helena I was like "I'm really writing this, uh?" and yeah, I also died so my ghost says hello too XD.

I posted another chapter on Sunday, idk if you read it? There it explains where the nickname comes from, I hope you're not dissappointed 🥺

Yep, Spanish is my mother tongue and it feels great to incorporate it in something I'm so passionate about. Me alegra que te guste el diálogo en español, a veces sale muy natural y es la parte más fácil (y a veces también de las más importantes) de escribir♥️

Breaking Point is, tbh, one of the works I am most fond of. Din came naturally to me and a lot of people find that little fic accurate, I'm always delighted to read that someone thinks it's spot on, thank you♥️

Sweetie, I CRIED while writing Trembling, and I wanted soo much to give it a happy ending but it just didn't seem to fit, y'know? I'm so sorry I made you sad, but thank you for reading it🥺💕Btw, I just noticed that yeah wow you write the date in a different way and I just never noticed? Lol, the "normal" way seems weird to me but to each their own XD

I just want to thank you again, I smiled a lot while reading you and I'm going to keep this on my notes for when I'm feeling down, I'm sure it will cheer me up. I hope I hear from you again, you're the sweetest💕

Thank you, cookie anon. You will always have a place in my heart now♥️

[lexa-el-amin]

(I) I actually wanted to message you sooner or longer but I also felt like intruding because I can be too chatty sometimes (overcompensation to the fact that I'm rather quiet in person). I'm very glad that you've been enjoying this exchange as much as I have :) I think the fic would be very reflective of who I am, writers do that, right? They put parts of themselves into their characters so I guess by sharing it with you, I just hope to be known even more. It's nothing special or amazing tho.

(II) wlw and their obsession with fingers and jawlines and forearms and collarbone! But it's such an impossible standard to live up to! My eternal chubby cheeks just don't scream 'cool queer with deadly jawline' hahaha... Yes yes, I have watched that one too! The storyline is delivered delicately that I didn't even feel disappointed that there wasn't even a kiss or anything overt. It's beautiful in its subtle depth. And it's true isn't it? Now Hollywood is the one that needs to catch up.

(III) Oh yes, I live in Indonesia, but English feels more like my native tongue. I will tell you the details later on after the reveal (character limit sucks!) I seriously believe that Christmas miracle has brought such two similar souls together (I'm gonna sound so corny if I continue this line of thought) but yeah, I can understand your wishes for the new year and finding the balance of loving and caring for yourself with your sense of obligation to the family.

(IV) I'm glad that you're already on this path of self-revelation and appreciation. I'm glad that you're unafraid to admit when you need help, that seeking help isn't a weakness or a burden for those who truly care for you. I spent my 20s (I'm 29) fully caring for others, providing for my family, supporting my friends and partners in their growth that I just completely forgot about myself and yeah, I wish this new year I'd get to listen and love myself more. So cheers to that!

___

Hey Santa 😊 don't worry, you are definitely not intruding, I was quite excited for your messages, even though it takes me a while to respond sometimes. i am very intrigued to read your fic and you are right, writers pour part of themselves into their stories. it's at least the case for me as well.

honestly, i think someone started the jawline hype one day and we just all jumped onto the train. i don't think I have ever payed attention to anyone's jawline in real life. i can't even come up with the german word right now, because that's how under the radar jawlines are in Germany 😄 but I guess when you look at gifs and pictures it just has a much bigger appeal to focus on certain body parts.

totally, the plot of the movie was so carefully crafted and moving, you could just tell that the writer of the script spoke from her heart.

i definitely would love to hear more info about you and indonesia and such. and it is indeed a very lovely coincidence that we got put together, it made the christmas days that much sweeter, so thank you for that :)

thank you for your kind words, i struggle a lot with the getting help aspect, but i think i am slowly getting there. everyone has their own speed with these things. take care of yourself, santa, 2020 is dedicated to self-care and self-love. we desperately need to claim room for ourselves.