#i'm not gonna plea for reblogs i get it i know people come on tumblr for escapism

[tunedtostatic]

I'm trying to figure out how to talk about critical role announcing a live show, because it's the kind of news that's like, how do you talk about that? How do you even begin to begin?

At minimum a few people will almost certainly die as a direct result of critical role doing a live show for 12,000 people during a pandemic. But that's only the best case scenario; it could be many more. How do you even string words together about that?

I know there's a lot of pandemic denial out there but there's also a lot of people who genuinely don't know the pandemic is still going on, now that it's no longer getting press. If you genuinely didn't know that the pandemic isn't over, over a quarter million people in the U.S. and tens of thousands of people in the U.K. currently have covid

[Edit - I made this post on July 16, and now it's October 8 and I'm linking to this in my follow up post, so I just want to add a note to avoid any chance of date confusion by noting that the above numbers were for mid-July, and as of October 8 in the US with the new covid surge it's over twice that number now]

And it's easier for the "it's a mild illness now" misinfo to gain traction when the death rate absolutely is lower than it was in April 2020 or whatever other date forms people's personal traumatic high-water mark, but that does not mean thousands of people aren't losing their loved ones every week, and thousands more aren't suffering long covid, heart damage, neurological damage

I'm whiteknuckling to scientific integrity to write "will almost certainly die as a direct result of critical role doing a live show for 12,000 people during a pandemic" instead of "will die," because I can't see the future and October hasn't happened yet. But barring an unhinged Act of God-level change in covid rates, the live show is guaranteed to get people sick. Statistically, that means deaths - at least a few deaths, potentially many more. Which gets me back to like. How do you even find the words for that?

I've been diving through covid reporting all afternoon for the actual current numbers, because policies declaring the pandemic "over" and ending testing have made reporting so deeply inadequate and crappy, and misinformation is a plague (metaphorical) that I don't want to contribute to. And well, yeah. The most conservative estimates are a quarter of a million people currently sick with covid in the U.S. and 60k people in the U.K. (if you want to know why I'm confident those numbers are 'reliable' in the sense of coming from confirmed sources and not pulling numbers out of thin air or overestimating cases, but also are significant underestimates, please ask me I will make a post about covid stats and hospitalizations and wastewater testing in a heartbeat)

But playing with stats is not giving me words for the, this

How do you deal with looking at a piece of fiction you loved and knowing that the making of the next piece is going to cause injury and death to real alive human beings in such a direct way?

It's easy to fixate on the people who will read this post in the most bad-faith way possible, but I know that with the lack of press there are a lot of people who literally do not know the pandemic is still happening. If this convinces a few people not to travel to the live show, or to use as many layers of protection (n95, tests, quarantining before and after) as possible, then it's worth it

(And if you are one of the people who didn't know that covid rates are still this high, I'm sorry you're finding out from an emo post about a dnd live show)

[themaladaptivewriter12]

Title: Diamonds Are Forever

Part 8.1 of my “Cray-Cray for Cater” series! Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 , and Part 7 can be found here!

Parings: Cater Diamond x Twisted Wonderland Male OC (Mirai Yuhara)

Summary:

With an extended break, Cater decides to take Mirai on a trip to remember. This trip should have strengthened their bonds, but somehow they break a little too.

a/n: This will have sub parts due to the nature of this part. It was too long for Tumblr and THERE WILL BE A SMUT SUB PART! DNI IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE! Please and thank you. I want you all to be able to skip the part if you want without losing the flow of the work, or having to skip the work entirely.

cw: implied/referenced past abuse. Nothing graphic or detailed. death mentioned, again, nothing graphic.

a/n: It's funny how around this time last year, I wrote this, and now, it's finally being unearthed lolol. I love this work so much! I can't wait to see it all come together! The airline I referenced is Qatar Airways btw!

a/n: Mi-Mi's Birthday is coming next week! I'm excited for my little Mi-Mi-tot!

a/n: Soooooo…….I've never flown before, and it probably shows lolol, but I tried my best! ( 〃▽〃) Also, I'm pretty sure this isn't how mirror travel works either. I wrote this before I played book 4, where Ace and Deuce talk about all the hoops they had to jump through to get back to the Isle of Sages, without the mirror, and I didn't have the heart to change it, so yeah. My incorrect way of travel and how airlines work stays! ヽ(￣ω￣(。。 )ゝ

Reblogs are appreciated, just use my custom tag, #TheMaladaptiveWriter12, if you do!  (─‿‿─)♡

Cross posted from my Ao3: TheMaladaptiveWriter12

Things were getting busy with midterms coming up and everyone was on edge, tension seemed to seep from the school in waves. Professors were getting stricter, and students were burning out by the dozen. But there was a saving grace in all of this. Due to the multiple pleas from students and staff alike, Headmage Crowley granted everyone a four day weekend after midterms, using two of their unused snow days. Mirai was grateful for the break. They had Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off. It really was a much needed break. And if Mirai had to go over the magic of the Briar Valley one more time, he was gonna throw himself into one of Crewel's cauldrons. 

It was Friday, and Mirai and Grim had just got done eating lunch, and of course when he mentioned cleaning up their mess, Grim scampered off to somewhere in the dorm. Mirai was pretty sure Grim had a secret hideout in the walls or something. He always seemed to disappear at certain times of the day, or when he had responsibilities to fulfill, and no matter how hard he looked, Mirai could never find him. 

After he got done downstairs, Mirai went up to his room where he started cleaning there as well. He tended to have a messy room, dirty clothes strewn all over the floor, clean clothes on his bed, bottles and cans of soda cluttering his night stand, and empty chip and candy wrappers filling his garbage can. It was messy, but at least there was no dust, rot, and spider webs like when he first moved in. 

Mirai was sorting his clothes when he heard a clatter from outside his window, immediately knowing what the noise was. It could be several different people, but he had a strong feeling he knew who it was. 

“Sup, Boo,” Mirai called, stuffing a dirty shirt into his hamper.

“Howdya know it was me?” Cater asked, pulling himself through the window.

“You and one other are the only ones who’d come see me this early in the day, but then again, he’s louder than you are.”

“Who’s the other?”

“Leona.”

Cater laughed, “Figured.”

Mirai had an “open window policy” of sorts. Only those who knew, and it was only a few, were allowed to visit Mirai anytime as long as the window was open. Cater and Leona would visit during the day, the two of them using it to shirk on their duties, while Kalim visited when he needed a change of space, or when he needed someone other than Jamil to talk to, but normally it was Mirai hanging out at Kalim’s dorm. It was much more fun there. 

Then there were a few times where Jamil stopped by as well, as he needed someone to vent to about Kalim and his place in the boy’s life. Azul would stop by at times too, but normally he did when was in a funk and needed to vent to someone who wouldn’t hold it against him. Lilia and Malleus would visit at separate times, and Mirai found both their company to be enjoyable ones. Mirai stopped counting the rest of the Freshmen’s visits long ago with how much they spent the night at Ramshackle. 

“Whacha doing?” Cater asked, sitting in the arm chair.

“Sorting laundry. It’s not much, I just don’t put stuff away.”

“So what are your plans for the weekend?”

Mirai knew Cater was onto something. They normally didn’t plan when they hung out, they just kinda lived in the moment. Also, there was the fidgeting. Cater tended to have trouble hiding his excitement, and it often showed through his expression and or through inability to sit still. But Mirai was gonna play dumb and play along.

“No, not that I know of. I’m prolly not gonna do this laundry until next weekend. This isn’t enough for a full load. Why?”

“Okay, okay,” Cater all but squealed excitedly, sitting down in front of Mirai on the floor, taking the Ramshackle Prefect’s hands to hold into his own. “First of all, you can decline any or all of these suggestions. No one’s forcing you to say yes, no one’s gonna hold it against you. Two, one of these things, even if you agree to the rest, can be declined and no one’s gonna hold it against you.”

“U-Uh, o-okay,” Mirai said, nodding trying to decipher everything Cater just said.

“How would you like to go meet Daddy Diamond?” Cater asked excitedly.

Mirai was speechless. A million possibilities were going through his head, but none of them were this, none of them prepared him for this. “Y-You, you mean, a-as in your father?” Mirai asked, voice sounding small and distant.

“Mn,” Cater nodded excitedly. “As I said, you can say no. My other offer is just to take the trip to the Shaftlands without the meeting, and again, you can say no.”

“I-I, uh, this is really important. I-I don’t know what to say.”

Cater let go of Mirai’s hands in favor of holding his face instead, “I’m not pressuring you to do any of these things. They all are just merely suggestions. We don’t have to go.”

“B-But I don’t wanna keep you from seeing your father,” Mirai said hurriedly.

“Hon, I can see him anytime.”

“But-”

Cater pressed a chaste kiss to Mirai’s lips, successfully cutting him off. “He just happened to have time just when we were granted a four day weekend, and is staying in a hotel. I thought maybe we could make use of it. Again, if you’d like we could skip the meeting for now and wait another time where we would have more time to prepare and plan.”

“When would we leave?” Mirai asked softly.

“Unfortunately this afternoon. The flight leaves at five, so two hours from now. Short notice, I know. We should land by seven, and then move to a taxi for an hour drive to the city, getting us to the hotel for the night by eight. Nine at the latest.” 

“Okay.”

“Okay? O-Okay as in yes? Or okay as in okay?”

“Yes to all of it,” Mirai chuckled. “I’ll go with you to the Shaftlands to meet your father.”

“Okay, wow, okay, we're actually doing this,” Cater rambled excitedly. “OMG! Like we're about to go on our first trip together! I’m so excited! #Couplegoals!”

Mirai found Cater adorable. He looked so cute, all excited and happy, practically vibrating out of his skin. Mirai walked up to Cater and pulled him down for a kiss. “Calm down, Cutie,” Mirai laughed.

“But I’m so excited,” Cater gushed, kissing him back, “There’s so much we can do! So much I can show you! It’s your first time really off of campus.”

It was, wasn't it? Besides going to the dwarf mines and surprisingly, the Coral Sea. Mirai hadn’t ever left the campus. This made everything different. Now? Mirai had no reservations about going. He wanted to see this twisted wonderland he was sucked into against his will, well, not that he minded. 

“So Ima go pack real quick, then I’ll come back and get you, okay?” Cater asked.

“Oka-Wait! What about Grim? I can’t just leave him.” Mirai cried.

This put a damper on everything for Mirai. He hated leaving Grim out of things like he wasn’t important to him, and he definitely didn’t want the little monster to feel like a third wheel.

“I don’t see why he can’t go. Ask him.”

“No, no,” Mirai sighed, “I’ll have him stay. This time is more important. I’ll make it up to him when I get back.”

“You sure?” Cater asked.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’ll be back.”

Cater walked out the door before turning around and peeking his head in not even a second later. “You don’t have a suitcase, do you?”

“No,” Mirai laughed.

“Okay I’ll bring that too, just get your stuff ready,” Cater laughed. 

Mirai nodded. 

“Bye, Boo,” Cater winked, running off. 

Mirai shook his head and went to go find Grim.

Mirai called out for the call, looking all over for him, but he didn’t show. After about fifteen minutes, he was beginning to worry.

“Grim! Grimmy! Grim the Fire Breathing Monster,” Mirai called. “Grimmaroo! Grimilicious definition make them boys go-”

“What do you want, human?!” 

Mirai perked up at the pair of flaming ears at the end of the hall.

Grim huffed agitatedly, trotting over to the Prefect. “You just think you can call The Great Grim whenever you please? You work for me, not the other way around.”

Mirai ignored him and cut to the chase, “I’m leaving for the weekend and won’t be back until Monday. And before you ask, no, sadly you cannot go. I’m doing something that’s really important to Cater and I’m sure you don’t want to witness what you like to call “disgusting human mating rituals.” I’ll make it up to you when I get back, but right now, I’m short on time.”

Grim grumbled. “Buy me five hundred deluxe premium cans of tuna.”

“I’ll buy you three when I get back. And you don’t have to clean the house for a week.” 

“Make it two weeks and I get to eat in my room.”

“Fine. But if the rats come back, you're getting rid of them.”

Grim stuck out his tongue and before he could scurry off, Mirai snatched him up and placed a fat kiss to the top of his head.

“Fynya!”

“Stay out of trouble, yeah?” Mirai asked, hugging Grim tightly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Grim pouted, accepting the hug.

Mirai let Grim down, and Grim just stood there. Mirai thought he wanted to say something, but he guessed Grim decided against it, for he just scurried off down the hall. 

Mirai went back to his room and began packing. Mirai grabbed six shirts, four pairs of pants and a pair of pajamas. He also grabbed some underclothes, and some extras. In the bathroom, Mirai grabbed his toothbrush, some toothpaste, and his medication. Mirai didn’t know what else to bring, so he decided to finish cleaning his room.

It wasn’t long before Cater came back with two suitcases. “Cay-Cay’s back and ready to pack,” Cater cheered, plopping his extra suitcase onto the bed. 

Mirai laughed at Cater’s enthusiasm. The one Cater had given Mirai was a plain blue and his own was a bright orange covered in little charms, and iron-on patches. It was very cute and very Cater-esque.

“So like, unless you don’t like the idea of me helping you pack,” Cater said, opening the blue suitcase, “I’m the king of packing. I can get this stuff packed in a jiffy.”

“It’s all yours,” Mirai laughed. 

“Alright! Watch and learn.”

Mirai was seriously impressed. Just like he said, Cater was really good at packing and he was quick at it. He had everything tucked away comfortably and efficiently. Nothing looked out of place or squished, and in all honesty, Mirai thought it looked like something right out of a commercial travel blog. 

“And done! #PicturePerfect,” Cater said with a wink. 

“Thanks,” Mirai said with a smile.

Cater moved the suitcase and put it next to his own. “C’mere, Babydoll,” Cater cooed, sitting on the bed, reaching his arms out to Mirai.

Mirai happily climbed up onto Cater, straddling his lap. 

“You got everything? Wanna list everything just in case?” Cater asked, kissing Mirai’s chin.

Mirai giggled, “I think so. I got clothes, extra socks, extra shirts, and my toothbrush.”

“Deodorant?”

“You saying I could use some?”

“Wha-no, no,” Cater stammered, eyes wide.

Mirai laughed at Cater’s brief panic, “I’m joking. Yeah I got it, and my soap.”

“The one I like?” 

“Yeah.”

“Perfume? Cologne? Fragrance Spray?”

“Ima use yours.”

Cater laughed.

“What?” Mirai laughed, “I like the way it smells. It’s just so crisp, clean, and spicy, and the scent actually stays in your skin hours after.”

Cater chuckled. “Chargers? Phone? Laptop? Camera?”

“Packed away in my electronics bag, which you packed away.”

“Your medication?”

“Definitely. I also triple checked to make sure.”

“Um,” Cater said thoughtfully, “I think that’s it. Whatever we missed can probably be bought once we get there.”

Mirai nodded.

“Are you excited?” Cater asked, pressing kisses to Mirai’s neck.

“Yeah,” Mirai breathed, “I finally get to see this world. I finally get to leave campus.”

“And I can’t wait to show it to you.”

Mirai and Cater left the campus, and not after Mirai negotiated with Ace and Deuce to check in and maybe spend time with Grim for a small price. They made their way to the Mirror Chamber and Cater was happily waving to students in passing. Mirai could tell Cater was overjoyed, with the skip in his step and the big pearly smile on his face, he looked as if he would just float away.

Cater walked up the stairs to the Mirror and spoke, “Dark Mirror, take us to Shaft Airport.”

“Your wish is my command, Cater Diamond” the Dark Mirror bellowed back.

The Dark Mirror began to glow, the glass shimmering and sparkling. Suddenly the glass began to ripple, dark smoke billowing from the glass, spilling to the floor. 

“Ready?” Cater asked, sticking out his hand.

“Mn,” Mirai nodded, taking his hand. 

They stepped through the mirror and after a couple of seconds, sickening seconds to Mirai, they were standing outside an Airport. It was larger than what Mirai was used to.  

“This is enormous,” Mirai said in awe.

“It’s one of the biggest Airports in the Shaftlands,” Cater explained, “The biggest is basically a shopping mall. There’s even a hotel with a resort connected to it.”

“I don’t even think that counts as an Airport at that point.”

Cater laughed, “Yeah, probably not. Well, we got a bit of a walk, so let's get moving.”

Mirai nodded.

“After a quick photo op that is,” Cater winked. “Say cheese!”

Cater pulled Mirai in for a couple of selfies. They took one in front of the Airport sign, one inside, and of course, Cater couldn’t forget one including a kiss.

Cater held Mirai close as he led them to their gate. It was quite crowded and he really didn’t want to lose his lover in the rush. There were people bustling to and fro with suitcases and heavy bags, important looking people with briefcases, and busy parents with fussy babies and tired children. There were food stalls selling anything from cinnamon rolls to fast food, gift shops with tacky shirts with weird slogans to keychains with your name that you could never find on it. There were small shops that sold anything from toys to fixing smartphones, and restrooms on almost every corner. There was even a bookstore, a restaurant, and an indoor playground. Mirai couldn’t keep track of where they were going, so he just focused on keeping up with Cater’s long strides. 

“So, do you need anything?” Cater asked, as they made it to their gate. “We don’t board for another twenty minutes.”

“Uh, restroom,” Mirai said.

“Okay, I’ll watch our things and go check in our tickets. I’ll be over there at gate five, kay?”

Mirai nodded and headed off to the bathroom.

It wasn’t a long trip, and by the time Mirai was done, Cater was over in the seating area near the gate. Before making his way over, Mirai took a detour to one of the shops and bought a couple of bags of candy and some gum. As Mirai walked over, Cater perked up and smiled.

“Should’ve bought this at Sam’s. It would’ve been cheaper,” Mirai grumbled, shoving a handful of gummies in his mouth.

“Probably,” Cater laughed. 

“Oh, and I got you cinnamon flavored gum.”

“Thanks, Honey Bunny,” Cater sang, kissing Mirai on the head. 

“Pics first,” Cater sang.

Cater took a couple of selfies, then pocketed his phone. 

“For you,” Cater said, passing Mirai his ticket. 

“Thanks,” Mirai smiled.

Getting through security was an adventure all in itself. Mirai found it so much different than back at home. Instead of the metal detectors, x-rays and invasive pat downs, there were magic laser scanners of sorts, and all kinds of things he would only see in movies. Cater went first, and then asked some of the security and he was allowed to walk Mirai through it, since it was technically his first time traveling in this world. They allowed Cater to, and Mirai was so thankful for that. 

The two made some small talk, well, Cater did most of the talking as he shared some things about his childhood in the Shaftlands. Not long after, a chime sounded, signaling the pair it was almost time to board. Cater led the way until they got to a pair of open double doors that opened up to a super lavish waiting room. 

It took a second, but then it clicked. Mirai gasped,“Cater! You did not just buy us both first class tickets!”

“Uh,” Cater said, “#SorryNotSorry?”

“Cater! How, how, how much did all of it cost?!”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I just want you to have fun.”

“But this has to be so expensive. I can’t just not worry about it. I have to pay you back somehow.”

“Are you, are you really upset about it?” Cater stammered

“I’m thankful really, but I feel horrible for making you spend so much on me,” Mirai sighed.

“You’re worth that much to me.” 

Mirai’s fight dissolved at those words. 

Mirai grumbled. “Why you gotta go and say all that cute stuff and expect me to stay mad?”

Cater laughed, “But I meant all of it.”

“You really are too good for me, ya know that?”

“I would say the same thing about you, Boo,” Cater smiled.

“Can I at least pay back half of the cost?”

“You can pay it back in kisses later, but now we gotta board,” Cater teased, taking Mirai's hands, and headed down to the jet bridge. 

Mirai had never ridden in First Class, and he thought he’d never get the chance to, but now? Mirai couldn’t believe it. It was so plush and lavish, and it all looked like it cost his life twelve times over. A flight attendant met them at the door and escorted them to their seats, seat 11E. It was right against the middle wall so they didn't have to worry about sharing with anyone else. 

Their seats were close to each other, divided by a small barrier, and both had doors that closed toward the aisle. There were two TVs against the wall, and two pull out trays along with a small built-in table. It was really nice, the burgundy accents the airline used really gave the whole thing a warm and cozy feel.

Another attendant came by to take their luggage and stored it above them as Mirai got in on one side and Cater the other. It was spacious. It had enough room for Mirai to stretch his legs out comfortably and to store his carry-on on the floor in front of him. 

“You like it?” Cater asked, leaning over the middle to kiss Mirai on the cheek.

“Yeah,” Mirai sighed dreamily, “It’s really nice.” 

“It totally is. I normally don’t fly often, and when I do, I deff don’t fly First Class.”

“You really didn’t have to do all this. We really could’ve just flown regularly.”

“But I wanted to make this special for you.”

“You spoil me too much,” Mirai pouted.

“Oh, Honey, if you think I’m spoiling you now? Just wait until we land,” Cater teased, kissing Mirai on the cheek once more.

“Cater,” Mirai whined, “If you keep this up, then I really won’t be able to pay you back.”

“And I don’t intend for you to.”

“Meanie.”

“Love you too,” Cater sang.

Mirai and Cater took multiple pictures before they took off. Mirai never liked the take off and landing, it always was the worst. It was bumpy and shaky, it made his ears pop, and it always caused some older woman to make a fuss, yelling and screaming that she was gonna die. But this time, it was much smoother. His ears still did pop, but that’s why he had bought some gum before they boarded, and this time, there was no screaming middle aged woman. 

Cater and Mirai choose something to watch while they pass the time, they ended up picking an old comedy about a maid that actually was a man in disguise. After some time, some flight attendants came by and poured them a complementary glass of sparking. Mirai panicked at that, but the flight attendant reassured him it was just grape juice. Following her was another flight attendant who came by with a snack tray and a menu. 

“Would you like to order now, or when it’s closer to meal time?” The flight attendant, Amy as her name tag read, asked in a soft voice.

Mirai realized Amy was the same woman who escorted them to their seats. Her uniform looked just like any other flight attendant’s uniform, except hers was in the Airline’s colors, burgundy and white. She was small and petite with red short hair styled in a bob cut that was curled toward her face at the bottom. She wore big pearl earrings and a pearl necklace, and on her small lips was a light shade of pink lipstick.

Mirai was flustered with it all, and he was pretty sure he looked like a fish out of water. He didn’t know planes even offered food besides stale crackers and water. But lucky for him, Cater had that covered as well. 

“We’ll order now and get it out of the way. Thanks,” Cater said with a smile.

“Great! I'll be back in a bit,” Amy said, passing over their menus and walking off. 

“Sorry,” Mirai muttered, taking a deep breath.

“Don’t sweat it, Buttercup,” Cater said dismissively. “You’re not used to this, it's okay.”

Mirai looked over the menu and there was so much he never knew could be served on a plane. Mushroom Risotto? Pan Seared Scallops in brown butter? Filet Mignon? Lobster Cakes? Clam Spaghetti with Braised greens? It was too much to even comprehend. 

“Did you choose anything yet?” Cater asked giddily, “Although I wanna try the Clams, I’m prolly gonna go with the Filet Mignon.”

“Why not? You afraid you might not like it?” Mirai asked.

“Worse.”

“Stomach ache? Food poisoning?”

“No silly. I won’t be able to kiss you.”

Mirai’s mouth fell open at his reasoning, and Cater laughed at his turmoil. Mirai flushed at that, pouting. 

“Well it’s true. What kind of lover would I be to eat some Clams if my positively adorable boyfriend is allergic to seafood?”

“Cater,” Mirai whined, now flushing at the compliment.

“And that’s true too.”

“Bastard.”

“Love you too, now what did you choose?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m just gonna have the chicken orzo soup and a salad. Don’t think I can stomach anything heavier.”

“Feeling sick, Baby?” Cater asked, concerned.

“Nah,” Mirai said, shaking his head, “It’s just in case I get sick later. That way I have nothing too heavy in my stomach.”

“Oh, okay, that’s good.”

Later, the flight attendant came back and took their orders and took their menus, and Cater grabbed a bag of chips as she walked by. Mirai wondered how Grim was doing, he hoped he wasn’t lonely or sad. He’d have to call him when they landed. He just hoped Ace and Deuce kept their end of the bargain and actually stayed with him.

“So what’s the Shaftlands like?” Mirai asked, shoving a couple of gummy worms in his mouth.

“I don’t know how to describe it. It’s so vast, like nowhere you go is the same,” Cater said thoughtfully.

“I think I get it,” Mirai said, “Back home, that’s what America is like. It’s one country with fifty different states in it, all of them are different, nothing is the same.”

“Sounds kinda confusing.”

“Not really. It’s like having fifty different houses with their own rules and families in one neighborhood.”

“I guess that’s easier when you look at it that way.”

“What’s it like where we’re going?” Mirai asked.

“I don’t wanna give too much away, but it’s a big city. Skyscrapers, busy streets, subways, and a lot to do,” Cater said excitedly.

“Cool. I grew up in a big city, so I think I can get the feel.” 

Cater’s phone chimed and he instantly perked up. “It’s my dad! He wants to know how things are going,” Cater laughed.

Cater eagerly messaged his father back and Mirai smiled at Cater’s reaction. Mirai knew of Cater’s rocky relationship with his mother, so he was glad his and his father’s were different, and far better. Mirai wondered what the man was like. Was he nice? Overly nice? Or was he really strict and reserved? He wondered what he looked like? Did he look like Cater or was it his mother that Cater looked like? And Mirai definitely hoped Cater’s father was nothing like his own father. 

But Mirai’s biggest question was, would he accept Mirai? Honestly, Mirai was kicking himself for not thinking of that before. What if Cater’s father didn’t like him? What if he didn’t like the fact that his son was dating a man. I mean, his father had to have known who he was since he was the one who suggested all of this, but what if Cater’s father just wanted to bring Mirai down in person? What if he just wanted to scorn their relationship face to face with the both of them there? It was still a little unnerving even after all of this, that there was the possibility that Cater’s father may just not like Mirai as a person. 

“What’s the matter, Babydoll?” Cater asked, reaching over to squish Mirai’s cheek into his own, “Sad I’m not paying attention to you?”

“No,” Mirai huffed, “just thinking.”

“Mark for your thoughts?”

“Nervous, I guess. Wh-What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Aw, Mi-Mi! I’m touched that you’re giving this so much thought,” Cater gushed.

“Cater, I’m serious. What if he just doesn’t like me?”

“So am I. But he will. Ever since I told him about you, he hasn’t shut about you. All he asks when he gets to meet my new boyfriend? And I may have talked you up last time we spoke.”

“But what if he likes me on paper, but when we finally meet, he finds that he just doesn’t like me? Like, what if he doesn't like my hair? Or my tattoos and piercings? What if he finds my voice or laugh annoying? What if he finds me creepy?” Mirai rambled.

“Then he just won’t,” Cater said as if this wasn’t currently eating away at Mirai.

“Cater?!” Mirai called, incredulously.

“What? If he doesn’t like you, which I doubt, then that’s his problem. But that doesn’t mean I won’t love you any less.”

“I-I-I just, I just,” Mirai stammered before sighing in defeat, “I just don’t want to mess up. I don’t wanna be the thing that tears apart your relationship with your family. Like my Mother’s.”

“Your Mother?” Cater asked, straightening up at the new tidbit of information. 

“My mother’s family didn’t like my father, saying my mother was blinded by love, and she was, it caused my family to distance themselves from me and my mother. My father showed his true colors after their marriage, and especially after my birth, the bastard,” Mirai bit out bitterly, “and when she turned to them for help, they left us. After her death, and his imprisonment, I was alone.” Mirai took a shaky breath, swallowing his nerves to continue. “I don’t want you to ruin your relationship with your father, so I’m afraid,” Mirai whispered. 

Cater pulled Mirai toward him, cupping his cheeks to kiss him, “I’m sorry. I was trying to calm you down a bit, I didn’t mean to belittle you. But it’s going to be okay, I promise. I wouldn’t have suggested this if I felt things would go horribly. He’ll love you, I promise.”

Mirai nodded.

“We’ll be fine,” Cater said, littering Mirai’s face and lips with kisses. 

Cater pulled Mirai closer to kiss him firmly on the lips, and Mirai sighed, relaxing into the kiss. Tilting his head to press harder into him, Mirai kissed Cater harder. Cater grunted softly, licking softly at the seam of Mirai’s lips, and just when Mirai went to let him in, there was a soft knocking sound, accompanied by a soft voice clearing their throat. The couple flew apart, both looking guilty and thoroughly embarrassed as they spotted Amy standing by Mirai’s door with a food cart.

“Dinner,” Amy said with a knowing smile.

Mirai didn’t know what to say or do, face burning with mortification. Mirai seriously hoped somehow he would be sucked out of the plane and never seen again. 

“I’m so sorry,” Cater apologized, face flushed a deep rosy red. 

“It’s okay,” Amy said with a smile. “Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been there with my partner, but then again, maybe we shouldn't have been playing kissy face on the job, even if we were on break.”

Cater made a strangled noise before falling into a fit of laughter. Mirai chuckled as well, but he was still feeling the burning shame. 

“Mind if I ask if they're here now?” Cater asked after his laughter subsided. 

“She’s the one next to the phone,” Amy said, pointing discreetly at the other end of the plan, as she placed Mirai food down on the table in front of him.

Mirai and Cater looked to where she was pointing. Over near the phone was a really tall woman with long black hair and ruby red lipstick. Her uniform was the same as Amy’s, but somehow she looked really mature in hers, while Amy looked cute.

“Aw, she’s pretty. You two make a great couple,” Cater gushed.

“T-Thanks,” Amy stuttered, flushing. “You two make a great couple as well.”

“TYSM,” Cater winked.

Amy made her way over to Cater and placed the tray on his table, removing the lid. 

“Careful, it’s really hot,” Amy said.

“Thank you,” Cater said.

“You're welcome and enjoy.”

The food was great, it was hot and flavorful, and Amy’s partner, Willow, came by and refilled their glasses with sparking. Mirai enjoyed his soup. It was light but still full of flavor and filling. Cater loved his Filet Mignon and tried to feed Mirai a piece, which he shook his head, vehemently declining. Now fully fed and comfortable, all they had to do was wait to land.

[jellybeanium124]

longtime mutual blocked me over i/p.

this one really hurt.

idk exactly when we started following each other, but we found each other thru tua so it's gotta have been more than two years.

in september 2023 I was posting my multichap 1920s fic, and they commented on every single chapter, which lead to a little joke we had about being married (I loved them so much for commenting on my fic that I married them).

sometimes when they had a silly opinion I disagreed on (like food preferences or smth, you know, innocent stuff) I would joke about divorcing them, and then remarrying when I "forgave" them.

we had a conversation a while ago about i/p. I knew we were coming at this conflict from very different angles. I reblogged a post earlier today that they didn't like. they messaged me about it. we had another conversation. I thought it was fine. I was willing to move on. went to work. came home. and I was blocked. guess they decided they didn't want to see me any more. because I felt the words of a holocaust survivor were worth sharing (even though I didn't 100% agree with what he said).

every single holocaust survivor will be dead in 10 years or so. the man whose letter I shared was 94 years old. he almost certainly doesn't have 10 years left.

holocaust denial and inversion are going to get so much worse the day the last holocaust survivor dies. this is a thought that's been terrifying me since I was a child.

some of you will know who I'm talking about. this isn't some plea to contact them and go "why did you block noa? she's sad you blocked them. you should reconsider." don't invade their privacy like that, please. they didn't block me on their side blog (idk if they forgot or didn't know they would have to block me on their sideblog for me to no longer be able to see it or what), but I unfollowed out of respect anyways. I think that's the right thing to do.

a friendship of over two years. a friendship that lasted past either of us posting about tua anymore. we didn't just follow each other, we talked. last november they reached out to send me their discord during that brief panic where everyone thought tumblr was gonna be shut down or smth, so we could stay in touch.

this is the one that hurt the most.

other people have blocked me. one person who I lost touch with a long ass time ago found one of my posts to spew horrible jew-hating things in the replies back in october. blocking her was easy. most of the other people were people I was Just Mutuals with and didn't actually talk or anything. it hurts worse when you've taken the step from Just Mutuals to like, friends. it makes me wonder how many other people's breaking points I'm nearing, how many people are one post away from not wanting me to contact them ever again. it's a really sad and scary thought, but like, I can't stop speaking my truth. not now. not after being terrified to speak it for two and a half years.

if you can't handle jewish voices on your dash, take a second to ask yourself why.

this is a very long post just to say... this fourth or fifth divorce isn't so fun. goodbye. I'll miss you. I'm sorry.

[achairwithapandaonit]

I take a break from discord and tumblr for like. 24 hours and come back to carebear au and gentrychild??? Being jailed?? What is going on here

Timeline of The Gentrychild Jailing 2.0 Incident:

- 12/Feb/2022 - I post this about how we were gonna change the server icon since i was drawing for carebear au https://achairwithapandaonit.tumblr.com/post/676006299057651712/out-of-context-information-regarding-the-future-of

- 17/Feb/2022 - pocketramblr reblogs it

- 17/Feb/2022 - gentrychild reblogs it, assuming that I have done wrong

- 17/Feb/2022 - gentrychild does not take back the allegations, despite several pleas of innocence

- 17/Feb/2022 - i make a statement in the eeby deeby server that i'd like to jail gentrychild for accusing me of crimes when i haven't committed any but that i don't want to be rude

- 17/Feb/2022 - aobawilliams says to do it

- 17/Feb/2022 - i jail gentrychild

- 17/Feb/2022 - gentrychild realises that they've been jailed and begins to haunt the gen channel with emoji reactions, the only thing a jailed person can do

- 17/Feb/2022 - bloustorm and the-storming-sea are sent to jail for mocking me

- 17/Feb/2022 - i let everyone out of jail half an hour early because i'm going to bed

- 17/Feb/2022 - gentrychild says they will never forgive me for this. that their grudge will be eternal

- 17/Feb/2022 - i respond with this image

- 17/Feb/2022 - gentrychild brings up the last time they were jailed threateningly, asking if they've been jailed more than twice. it turns out they have not been

- 17/Feb/2022 - gentrychild says "You will not exist for me anymore, panda.". they say that because bloustorm was also jailed they hold no grudge towards them

- 17/Feb/2022 - gentrychild accuses me of crimes against owl kind, to which i say that i have never hurt owl and ping them for confirmation

- 17/Feb/2022 - i cite that i'm a good overlord because i made a cannibal channel for my people even though i don't want cannibalism in the sewers

- 17/Feb/2022 - yellow bullies me. i send them to jail overnight

- 17/Feb/2022 - gentrychild tells me that my very existence is a crime

- 17/Feb/2022 - i shitpost about gentrychild coming into my house and eating my pistachio nuts on tumblr. i get an offer to send them evil rats. i ask them to tell gentrychild i am innocent and didn't do anything wrong. however the rats realise they don't know anything about what's happened and cannot argue my case

- 17/Feb/2022 - we discuss aizawafication

- 17/Feb/2022 - owl finds the ping and tells me not to provoke gentrychild

- 17/Feb/2022 - aobawilliams laments that they got away with encouraging gentry to be jailed. i reply to this by pinging gentrychild

- 17/Feb/2022 - gentrychild says that aobawilliams is also dead to them

- 17/Feb/2022 - we get on the topic of the nice things that eeby deeby has. i go to sleep at some point

- 18/Feb/2022 - i realise yellow's been in jail for a very long time so i let them out

- 18/Feb/2022 - syanara finds out they missed sewer drama

[llamabombz]

Personal rant//please ignore unless you want to//I'm not your dad do what you want

So, hey this is kinda out of the ordinary for me. I know my blog is just and endless series of reblogs, a neverending stream of shitposts of anything that give me even an ounce of happiness. But I think at a point where I just need to say something

I'm really tired of the life I've had to live this far, all the people who came and gone, all the people who I have now I feel guilty of even bothering cause I feel like I've never made any effort to make anything or myself. I feel like a waste of time to myself and anyone else I've ever known.

And all of this this is just sucks. I have nothing to come home to. No one who I can meaningfully share my life with. My family is distant, my friends have their own shit to deal with and at the end of the day I have to tell myself that its ok to just live my life for myself, and that's great in theory and all of it wasnt total bullshit.

I want to have more friends, I want to make meaningful relationships with people, it's just I've never been taufgt how, and I know that sounds stupid but like how do you really tell someone "hey I want you to be a part of my life" without it sounding like a desperate plea to escape loneliness.

I'm stuck

Stuck in a world that has no place for me, and stuck in my own body that I've grown to hate as the years go by. Like on top of the defects and degenerative diseases I get to enjoy living with leaving me disabled In my own fun little ways I also just wish I was born as like anyone else. I'm trans, it took me a long tike to figure that out and now I get to live the fact that I may never be able to transition.

Like can the world just stop for like, two days, it's ok world you can take a fucking weekend I know your schedule of making everything worse all the time is full but seriously you can take a break. Make it a long weekend you deserve it you dumb piece of shit.

Anyways I'm drunk. I walked an hour to a bar in the middle of the night cause I couldnt stand the idea of going home after work for the millionth time.

To those who loved me I'm sorry. I tried. I really did. I'm trying every day, and I know it might not look like it but I'm so tired. I tried to give you all I had and I know now that it might have not been much, but I'm growing, I'm changing and I'm trying to catch up with everyone the best I can.

I wish the world was kinder, I wish we could all get the chances we need to grow and change. I guess I've just run out of hope at this point. It's not like I'm gonna off myself I made a promise to someone so I'm stuck here no worries about that. I just really wish I could get a second chance.

I'm prob gonna delete this later once I'm sober. Goodnight Tumblr, I hope you're doing better than I am I really do mean it.

[eissibee]

no one cares that u are 24 pleas e just go back to reblogging things like a normal person fkjgjf like how tf u know the first anon is a kid? you be assuming shit. very 20s thing to do, takes one to know one i guess. like. that post wasnt for you no one on that post cares that youre older its not about age. ive had chronic pain since i was 11 bro like come on. ive been on tumblr that long too get off the high horse

what the FUCK are you talking about though. I got an ask out of nowhere saying that I was corny and that it was worse because I was "a grown adult". When people are horrendously rude to me, a stranger, I'm not gonna be polite back. Perhaps the anon was not a child, but they acted like one. Grow up and stop randomly insulting strangers over nothing maybe? I was literally just sitting here. Where in the WORLD did anyone mention anything about chronic pain? The ask just called me cringey for existing lmao. Try harder. I've been reblogging things normally this entire time soooooo like. block me. please. Get out of my space.