#i'm not asking to be understood but if u knew how difficult the prospect of being alone was to someone like me you would get it
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this might sound bad but it is comforting to know that suicide is always an option
#this might sound even worse but i've always been a quitter so it wouldnt be a hard choice to make if i wanted to make it#ik it seems pretty bad that i've been making so many suicide-related posts lately and uh. it is! because it has been weighing heavily on my#mind how i don't know if i'll ever be comfortable being alive on my own. in particular losing my mom is going to ruin me#and i'm not a coward like my dad bc i totally will kill myself if i can't handle the grief#i'm not asking to be understood but if u knew how difficult the prospect of being alone was to someone like me you would get it#because i mean it's one thing to exist despite not consenting to it lmao bc no one asks to be alive#but it's a whole different thing to be forcibly cooped up for your entire life and not be taught anything that would be genuinely useful#because you're not gonna leave anyways 🤣 why would you ever leave?#sorry im just. mourning my life hard rn lol
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