#i'm not an expert essayist lmao bear with me

[beevean]

There are so many wonderful essays in the TCOAAL tag, about all the shades of fucked up that Andrew and Ashley are, but there is one thing that gnaws at me.

Where did Leyley learn all the stuff she says? Not only to swear, because that's something she could have picked up from older kids (or her own brother), but to call women "hussies" and "floozies"? Even Andy questions her, and doesn't get an answer.

That is very deep, ingrained internalized misogyny. Ever since she was a child, Leyley slutshamed with frightening ease. So much that when she hears that their parents have been befriending the neighbours, she calls them "a bunch of whores". (And I'm not even counting the voicemails she left to Julia in Andrew's dream, since we don't know what is reality and what is Andrew's subconscious)

Then you remember that she seems to view sex as transactional - as a way to gain food, money, Andrew if necessary. She's, of course, not above making jokes about banging her brother (if you give her the soda she wanted, she jokes about rewarding Andrew with her virginity), but she doesn't display the... genuine attraction Andrew seems to be harboring for her. It's a "might as well". It's a "yeah I'd do that". Sex is a way to get what she needs... which might be a reason she flips when she thinks that Andrew is getting it from someone else. Because if Andrew is getting what he wants from someone else, well, what is Ashley good for?

And then you remember how Mrs. Graves not only accuses Andrew of "fucking" Ashley (notice the wording, it's not "you two are fucking", he is fucking her - she has no agency, which is weird since Mrs. Graves is all to happy to blame everything on her "bad" daughter), but she seems to think this is the only reason Andrew could ever want to do anything for his sister. Keep in mind that she knows about the Nina incident. The idea that it might be related to Andrew's obedience doesn't cross her mind. She'd rather think that Ashley is manipulating Andrew through sex, and Andrew is such a horndog that he'd do anything for his sister's pussy. Because, well, isn't this what women and men do?

Mrs. Graves may be the dom to her spineless husband, but she sure has some... views on sexuality. Who seems to have been passed on to Leyley since she was very young. One can only imagine the stuff the kid has internalized.