#i'm mrs. decimus meridius

[wildsaltair]

not to be horny on main (as always) but if I'm not waking up naked in his bed WHAT IS THE POINT

[technological-tomfoolery]

SCENES WE'D LIKE TO SEE: VTUBER EDITION (S1, E5)

AW – Amelia Watson NR – Nerissa Ravencroft MC – Mori Calliope FC – Fuyo Cloverfield RP – Rin Penrose BW – Bao the Whale

Rejected Lines From Movies FC: E.T phone premium rate sex line! MC: Milk, bread, Oreos… are you sure this is this the right list, Mr. Schindler? NR: There are 50,000 Zulu outside, now tell Jade to get back inside and keep her bloody mouth shut! AW: (Austrian accent) This T-1000 cybernetic organism has encountered a problem and needs to close. Do you wish to send an error report? FC: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. But on weekends, Majorie. MC: A census-taker tried to test me once. I ate his liver with some garlic bread and a bottle of Jim Beam. RP: Goooood morning, Cheltenham! AW: Well there's one thing I should tell you Mr. Darcy… I have chlamydia. NR: What, Rambo? You want to wait for a U.N resolution? BW: (bad Southern English accent) You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off, Ibrahim! MC: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. But thank you for phoning the BT helpline. AW: (impersonating Darth Vader) Luke Skywalker… I am your mother!

Unlikely Excerpts From a Nature Documentary NR: D'ya see this little fella here? (points to hand, then smacks it) BW: PULL! AW: I'm having to whisper, because this woman's husband is in the room next door. MC: This beautifiul hummingbird… is no match for my squash racket. BW: And I'm having to whisper, because the bear has got me in a headlock. MC: Penguin, with his head trapped in a beer can. Tragic, and yet somehow hilarious. NR: I'm stood here in the jungle, in my bath robe… because my luggage is still at Heathrow. FC: Welcome back to "Pimp My Hippo"! NR: And here we have two insects… going at it like rabbits… phwoaaar! MC: Out of the water climbs a majestic otter, who turns-- oh no, it's a dog. NR: And yes, the lion's after the impala, and the lion's got the impala! TUCK IN MY SON! LION 1, IMPALA NIL! MC: (Australian accent) I'm the ghost of Steve Irwin, and welcome to "Animals Kill the Daftest Bastards!"