#i'm left to figure everything out on my own in a moment of sudden epiphany as i reread a story years after i wrote it
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i don't have any control over my characters. they simply do what they want & tell me about it later
#alternatively: they don't tell me shit#i'm left to figure everything out on my own in a moment of sudden epiphany as i reread a story years after i wrote it#prime example: dhes is a bit of an insomniac.#i only realized this within the last maybe... 2 years#but when i go back & read stories from 10+ years ago#the boy is never asleep!!#i regularly wrote scenes in which he was awake at 4 am & couldn't get to sleep#same with jax being an introvert or marky being ace or bow being a perfectionist etc. etc. like#all of these traits have been there since the beginning#i just didn't necessarily have a name for them#i can never write a character to be a certain way bc they will always without fail do whatever the fuck they want#regardless of what i intended for them#they're literally their own people. i'm just here to write everything down for them#rainyrambles
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