#i'm just saying....you study things best by dabbling a little....

[winterfromtevinter]

Find it so interesting that the game makes a point of telling us several times that Neve is familiar with blood magic. Enough that she can try to undo it, that she can sense it. Makes me wonder if she's ever had to use it in a desperate time. How much is observation? How much is practical experience?

With making her father a Templar I will have that a lot of her education regarding blood magic and how to counter it is from him. That isn't the full extent of it, though. Might be interesting to play around with what is considered an acceptable use of blood magic or not.

Was reading on the wiki page that blood magic practice with your own blood or freely given blood is technically legal. Has Neve ever had to...?

[kaminocasey]

25 Days of Life Day: Day 2 - Hot Cocoa with Cody

A/N: I've decided to dabble with a Modern!AU bc I've never done that before. So, here is this. I hope it's alright!! Big shout out to @idledreams because this wouldn't be what it was without her! I'm planning on making another part for this. And perhaps a series, POSSIBLY. Either way, very excited for you to read this!

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI; Professor!Cody x College Student!Reader (About to be done with his class). So if that's not for you, I completely understand!

WC: 1.6K

The line in Java Hut’s is incredibly long this morning but it’s not that big of a deal because you have about another hour before you have to be in class to take your history final. And since campus is only a few blocks away, you pull out your book as you stand in line to wait. 

Having just started the book last night before bed, you were eager to pick it back up this morning. Unfortunately, you’d forced yourself to put it down and go to sleep so you’d be well rested for your last final of the semester. But since you’ve got the time to kill…

About five minutes into reading, you hear a familiar deep voice in your ear. “Last minute studying for your final?”

You look behind you and see your history professor, Cody. The incredibly hot professor who you’ve been crushing on since the first day of the semester. 

“Oh, hi.” You feel yourself go warm in the face and show him your book you’re reading. “No, actually. The Secret History.” 

“Good read.” He smiles that heart clenching smile and you nod in agreement. “First time reading it?” 

You nod. “Mmhm.” 

“You’ll have to let me know what you think.” He smiles down at you and you hope to god that your jaw isn’t on the floor. 

“Uh, yeah. I definitely will.” You tell him, trying your best to not freeze up. 

You’ve never spoken to him outside of the classroom so this is new to you. And despite how uncool you sound right now, you rather like it. It’s way tamer than the fantasies you have at night of him.

“Next!” The barista breaks you out of the spell his warm brown eyes are holding over you. 

“Right.” You chuckle, turning to order.

“Ours are together.” Cody tells her from behind you.

You can feel his warm chest against your back and it takes everything in you to not lean into him. He smells warm like sandalwood and leather. 

You look up at him and start to protest but the look he gives you looks final and you nod, murmuring your thanks with burning cheeks as you turn back to the barista.

“A large hot chocolate, please.” You smile. 

She smirks, knowingly at you. 

“Hot chocolate, huh? Sure. Make it two. Thanks.” He bumps his elbow into your side, teasingly.

As you move out of the line to go wait for your drinks, you find a sofa by the window, noticing the snow coming down. It’s your favorite time of the year and you’d do anything to live somewhere where it looked like this all year round. 

“Not a coffee drinker or is it just a seasonal thing?” He rests an arm around the back of the sofa, which also happens to be around you as well. 

You’re not complaining.

“No, I’m afraid not. Just a little too bitter for me.” You shrug, pulling your foot up under you, making you accidentally lean a little closer to him. 

He doesn’t seem to mind, thankfully.

“Too bitter…” He muses, clearly amused.

You’re trying to figure out what to say to him without sounding like an idiot. He’s probably one of the smartest people you’ve ever met and you’ve found yourself dreading the end of the semester, because that means you’re not going to see him again. 

“I’m… going to miss your class.” You tell him, looking from the window back to him.

“I’m going to miss having you in my class.” He smiles, kindly. 

“Eh. You’ll have another star pupil next semester.” You shrug, hiding a grin.

He chuckles. “I suppose so…”

Your stomach drops at his words.

“But that’s not why I’m going to miss you.” He leans in, whispering.

You feel your lips part and suddenly his lips are so close to yours when you turn your head, you’re caught off guard by the barista calling out “Cody!”

“Be right back.” He winks and walks back toward the counter. 

You try to still your pounding heart before he comes back, to no avail. Does he know the effect he has on people? On you? 

Of course he does.

When he sits back down, a little further away than before, he hands you your hot chocolate with a playful look.

“Here’s your warm chocolate milk.” He grins. 

His smile sets your insides on fire and you shake your head with a soft laugh.

“You tease but at least it’s better than that bitter bean water you drink.” You shrug, making him laugh boisterously. 

It’s probably the best sound you’ve ever heard, you think to yourself while you softly blow into the mug before taking a sip. When you look at him again, his eyes are on your lips and you take a napkin off the coffee table and dab at your lips. 

“Do I have something on my face?” Self consciousness creeps in and he gently pulls your hand away from your face.

“No, your face is perfect.” He rushes out, then pauses when he realizes what he said and lets go of your hand. “I’m sorry.” 

You shake your head, letting him know it's okay. 

Does he feel this spark too? 

“Growing up, I lived with my grandparents. I was incredibly close with my grandmother…” You start to tell him. “The first day that the weather turned cold in November, she would keep us home from school. She called it a mental health day and would put on Christmas movies and make a bunch of baked treats and hot chocolate of course. She never drank coffee.”

“Wow. Sounds like she was better than me.” He smiles, teasingly.

“Different instances. She didn’t need the coffee.” 

“And I do?”

“To grade a couple hundred papers? Probably.” You shrug with a smirk. 

“So, I take it that teaching isn’t in your future.” He sips his hot chocolate, trying to hide a face of distaste. 

It’s clear this man survives on coffee. 

“I’m sure you could probably get them to spike it with coffee if you ask nicely.” You tease.

“Chocolate coffee does not sound enticing.” He shakes his head, but he glances up at the barista, clearly debating it. 

“I think that might be the only way someone could get me to drink coffee.” 

“Hold on.” He puts his finger up with a smirk and walks up to the counter where they call out orders and flags down the barista, saying something to her that makes her glance at you with raised eyebrows and he shrugs.

You look at him with narrowed eyes and he throws you a wink, making you feel like the hot chocolate is suddenly burning you from the inside out. You glance at your phone, realizing you have thirty minutes until you have to get to class, and as if he has the same thought process, he glances at his watch and then back at you. 

He pulls out his phone, leaning on the counter waiting for the barista to come back and types something out for a moment before putting it back into his pocket. 

Your phone chimes, indicating an email and you open it.

Hello World History 401 students, 

Out of the goodness of my heart, and in the spirit of the holidays, today’s final will be canceled. Enjoy your break.

-Prof. Cody

Your head whips up so fast, you nearly give yourself whiplash. He just canceled the final… To spend time with you? Your chest clenches just in time for him to come back with two cups of coffee and he hands you one. Yours is significantly lighter than his and you debate which question to ask him first.

“I told her to make it taste the least bit like ‘bitter bean water’ she could.” He grins. 

“You canceled the final.”

“I did.”

“Why?” 

“I’ve always envied Santa Claus. Giving people what they really want for Christmas.” He shrugs, taking his cup of black coffee, pouring it into the hot chocolate and stirring it. 

You watch him take a sip and he sighs with dramatic delight. 

“Much better.” He nods. 

“Cody. The final.” You can’t even focus on the hot chocolate.

He shrugs. “I’m enjoying our conversation.”

“You can’t just cancel a final-”

“Oh really? Why did I go through eight years of school, if not to be able to make some kids’ day by canceling a final?” 

“Cody…”

He sighs your name and the way he does sends your heart into a fit of wild pittering that you’re pretty sure you’re not going to recover from.

“Listen. If you really wanna take the final, here.” He pulls out a small stack of papers out of his briefcase and hands them to you. “But, you’ve already passed in my mind, so I don’t know if it’s even worth the hassle.” 

Your eyes skim over the page. “A… B… A…”

He snatches the papers back, shoving them back into his case. “Insufferable.” 

“All I hear is that I’m the best student and deserve an A.” You shrug, finally taking a sip of your hot chocolate coffee and then immediately spit it right back out. “This is awful.”

“What?! It’s barely coffee!” His eyes crinkle, hearteningly.

“Nope. Bad.” You shake your head, putting the mug down on the coffee table. “We just ruined a perfectly good cup of hot chocolate.” 

“I’ll buy you another.” He offers.

You shake your head. “Not necessary. I have a different idea.” 

You stand up and put your coat on, slinging your bag over your shoulder and offering your hand out for him. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Just trust me.”

He grabs his stuff and takes your hand with a wide grin. “Lead the way.”

TAGS: @twistedstitcher27 @rebel-finn @rexandechosandwich @madameminor @dumfanting  @corona-one @tecker @ladykatakuri @brynhildrmimi @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond @zoeykallus @maulslittlemeowmeow @littlemousedroid @arctrooper69 @rexxdjarin @padawancat97 @hated-by-me @sleepingsun501 @idledreams @redheadgirl @themcuwriter @ashotofspotchka @sunshinesdaydream @crosshairsimp73 @ariadnes-red-thread @rosmariner @heyitsaloy @starstofillmydream @high-ct5555 @echos-girlfriend @sleepywych @nekotaetae @justanothersadperson93 @aconstructofamind @book-of-baba-fett @chopper-base @palliateclaw @501st-rexster @dead-poolz @nahoney22 @where-is-my-mind-tho @jediknightjana @erishimoon @witching3 @queen-of-many-fandoms @wizardofrozz  @burningfieldof-clover @rebelsriley

[helianskies]

so last december 31st, i wrote a not-so-little post covering my 2023 and hopes for 2024. and i figured, well, why not do it again? so here's a little-ish post on how my year has been as a writer, and what i'm looking forward to in 2025 - my ninth year writing!

.°˖✧ INTRODUCTION

last year, i started my post with a bit of a moan because there was a lot of negativity going on that was bogging me down. this year, i feel i've had a bit of a better time. i've no complaints to lodge with anyone, other than the odd comment on a fic that has left me questioning why i'm still here (some people need to learn some tact or etiquette or straiht up manners!) - but, i am. i am here. and i'm still writing. cheers to that!

.°˖✧ 2024 REVIEW

time to look at the fics i've written this year! to pick three that i think are my favourites:

'Holiday' ⇝ i forgot i wrote this until i was scrolling back, and as soon as i saw it i smiled to myself. a bit of nationverse and another study of Antonio, with a sprinkling of TurkSpa

'Fortuna' ⇝ i still think about this one often, there'll be more stand-alones snippets from this au to come, i'm sure!

'Make A Wish' ⇝ it took three years for me to write this figurative revenge, just for maiva, but i love how it turned out. we love a mischievous, devious, wicked port ;)

following that, here are some of my favourite aus that have come from this year too!:

the au that is 'Fortuna', see above! nothing like a bit of crime and casinos to keep us going :)

the kingdoms au in 'Ripple'. this fic is a snippet from a world of a long-fic that i've been mulling over for, ooh, two years? there's a lot that needs sorting, but it's like a peek into a world i really hope to share one day. one day!

the ghoulish pirate au from 'Storm's End'! i wrote this fic somewhat desperately to round up hetaween, but it's an au i'd very much like to keep up!

the vineyard au as in 'Nightcap' UGGHHHHH i think i have a habit of putting Ned in business-y jobs eh. managers... accountants... he's a type, but it just makes sense!

as ever, there are tons of aus that have also been born this year that you've not seen. last year, i said i wanted to share my ideas more, and i don't actually think i've done that... food for thought!

and on that note, there are some general things from year i've taken note of that are a mix, i guess. just observations. things i've achieved or haven't achiever either way! things i'm proud of, or not proud of! who cares?:

i am on top of my ao3 inbox. since i cleared it out aat the end of 2023, i have not let it get too busy to be unmanageable, and feel i'm doing better at replying! it's nice!

i promised myself i would return to hetaween with a vengeance, and i sure did! i think this has been by best year to date and i'm so happy with everything i wrote! c:

'For Me?' and 'Bitter Teeth' - ouch! i haven't updated either since july, and i have to admit, i'm not rushing back. like there's a niggly feeling of 'that's a loooong break' but when i tell you i have zero motivation, i mean i actually have about -4 motivation to keep going on these two at the moment. just saying.

i got back on the ficlets and prompts yessss, it's been nice to slip back into writing short things here and there (particularly with point 3 on this list in mind!)

it's also been nice to, on occasion, have a go with different pairings. like it's very rare, but... i'm open to dabbling. with certain characters. and ships. those who know will know 👀

.°˖✧ 2023's HOPES

in 2023, there were some things i said i hoped 2024 would hold for me, or that i'd do. based on that list, here's what i have and haven't done:

i [also] hope 'Bitter Teeth' keeps going strong. i hope i let myself take breaks without feeling so guilty. i hope i get more into historical hetalia again. i really want to explore the implications of the events of 'Let Me Go'. i hope i learn to love my unfinished works or abandoned wips. i hope i start sharing more of my ideas. i hope i learn it's okay to not always want to write the same characters over and over, even if they are my favourites. really, i just want to keep moving forward. i want to keep writing. i want to keep loving writing. i want to keep exploring. i want to not succumb to negativity as much. i want to indulge even more in what i want and what i feel like.

a mixed bag. but overall, these are outcomes i'm happy with! i've generally had a more positive year with writing, slumps in motivation aside, and that's as good as it gets!

.°˖✧ 2025's HOPES

looking to 2025, then, i suppose there are some things i'd hope will happen.

importantly, i'd like to get back on board with 'For Me?' and 'Bitter Teeth'. if i could finish the former, that would be good, but with how i'm feeling at the moment, if i can update them at all i would like to think that 2025 helia will be happy (she'd better be!).

i also hope that i take the plunge and start a new multi-chapter fic with you. there are two options on the table at the moment, so i'm hoping one catches in 2025 and i find the courage to just go for it. to take that plunge and write. time to bring out a nice, big cast again, just like the old days of AE!

as a string of thoughts, i hope that in 2025 i explore more - more characters, more time periods, more ideas. i hope i find courage to share ideas or aus without worrying whether or not anyone will like them. now i really want to try more historical hetalia. i wouldn't mind indulging in a sequel or two to some of the fics i've written in past years. i hope that i have another amazing round of event fics. i hope i continue to love the random aus as much as the old classics. i hope i stay positive, learn and love, and stay proud of what i can do.

i hope i also become a better reader. i hope i read more fics. i hope i leave more comments. i hope i share more writing, be it stories written by people i know, or people i don't. i hope i read something different to what i'm used to, that's outside my little comfort zone. and i hope i learn things because of it.

.°˖✧ CONCLUSION

in all, 2024 was a pretty darn good year, both personally for me and as a writer. through it all, i just have to thank the friends i have here who talk with me, listen to my nonsense, share their ideas, and just... are amazing. so many people inspire me and i don't think i say it. so thank you. i love you. i hope you know who you are. and, to wrap up this review, i present you with cookies, hugs, and wishes for a very happy new year! 🍪🎉🍪🎉🍪🎉

[junowritings]

Hi, could I please get a BG3 matchup?

Pronouns- she/her

I generally prefer men

About me-

I love love love cats.

I tend to be pretty shy/timid until I know for sure the other person wants me around. I rarely ever approach someone I don't know; they need to make the first move. In social situations I tend to be more of an observer than a participant unless someone specifically includes me. Once I'm comfortable around someone, I'm still pretty quiet, until the conversation turns to something I'm really enthusiastic about; I'm okay with people infodumping as long as it's genuine & interesting. I can be a bit sassy, too, and I'm (usually) not afraid to laugh at myself. I'm a bit of a homebody, but if someone invites me out to do something, I'm usually game.

In a relationship, I'm pretty cuddly/affectionate- they'd better be prepared for all the touching, hugs, kisses, being my pillow… as long as they're into it, too, of course (even better if they're reciprocating).

I like to think I'm pretty smart- I got good grades in school and I tend to learn new things quickly. I'm pretty curious/inquisitive; I'll take almost any opportunity to learn something new. I like to figure out how things work (including taking things apart to fix them, like my old laptop to replace the keyboard or my original Nintendo DS to replace the broken hinge), and I even built my own PC! I've also dabbled a bit in programming.

For hobbies I like video games (imagine that!), ttrpgs, board games, also stuff like sudoku. I like gardening even if I'm not very good at it. When I get time, I enjoy doing cross-stitch, too.

Pet peeves/things that annoy me (aside from "standard" stuff like people being condescending, bigotry, etc.): unnecessary noise- dogs barking nonstop or children throwing temper tantrums in the grocery store; I hate repeating myself and being repeatedly interrupted; preventable stinkiness- people reeking of cat pee, cigarettes, wet basement, etc. (sweaty from a workout or something is one thing -and can even be kinda hot-, smelling like a month-old dirty litterbox is another)

Many thanks!

Heyya sorry that this one took so long! Literally got a few lines in and just knew who would be a great fit for you,,,

I match you with Gale!

From the word go, the pair of you end up hitting it off from the very first run in. Thanks to a little outside intervention of course.

You say you like cats, and Gale’s got one better - he’s got Tara. Just treat her with respect and compliment her and you’ll already be giving her a view on your fine character. It certainly helps that you mean no ill will towards her master either, but that’s besides the point.

If anything Tara’s ends up being a wingwoman for Mr. Dekarios - by the time you’re quietly cooing over how fluffy her wings are and she is set on instigating this match and by the gods will she go through with it. It will do him well to meet someone with such a fine taste for company after all! Of course Gale has been admiring you from the sidelines before his Tressym’s attempt at introductions, watching how you’re content to observe the world around you unless someone makes a point to include you. And the wizard does his best to make you feel included! He will absolutely make sure that you want his company and that you’re comfortable having him around before he goes intruding on your revelry.

Don’t worry at all about being quiet! If you prefer to have the silence filled he is more than happy to wile the time away regalling you with whatever current topic has intrigued him at the moment - usually it will have something to do with a breakthrough he’s made in his studies, or detailing a novel that he’s been pouring over with witty commentary on the contents to match. Will get a little too hung up about the wow-factor of the topics he tells you about, wanting to genuinely impress you with it. Just assure him that you’re interested in what he’s saying and he’s not boring you and this guy is a goner. Knowing that you don’t mind listening to him? With no expectation for something from the wizard? It doesn’t seem like a lot but I can tell you his heart is done for and the pining begins.

PLEASE, I cannot stress this enough - shower this man in all the affection you want to give him. He is an absolute sponge for it and gives you this little lovestruck look if the potential for love and affection is on the table. Kiss his cheeks till he’s red all the way up his ears and down his neck; hug him as tight as you’d wish or tuck yourself in close to his side. No matter the expression of affection, Gale would gladly spend the rest of his days under the onslaught of your attention. What he loves most is when you hold him close; the casual intimacy of being close to someone he cares for so much and cares for him in turn makes his chest swell and the aches melt from his bones. Card your hands through his hair for good measure? Gods you must be trying to kill him with love, yet he can think of no finer a demise than beneath the soft touch of your hands. 

Gale fully accepts his new future life as your pillow during cuddles. He sees it as a perfect compromise - you get to use his soft chest to lounge on at your own leisure, and he gets to bask in the weight of your presence curling up upon his torso as you make yourself comfortable. Likes to let his hands smooth over your back as you relax, calloused fingertips moving in such a way you could swear that he’s tracing patterns, but he’s far too good at easing the tensions from your muscles to spell out what he’s tracing unless you focus. (Spoiler alert it’s something sappy - maybe hearts). May or may not doze off if he finds himself relaxing too much - what can he say? It’s more comfortable than he thought! Plus the thought of waking up with you there makes the prospect of a quick nap far too tempting to pass up.

He loves your inquisitive nature; it’s one of your many stunning attributes that allows the pair of you to mesh so well. You’re a quick learner, taking to any new tidbit that Gale is excited to share with you as naturally as you breathe. It’s beautiful, really, watching you process the world around you and seeing what inspires your mind, and Gale loves nothing more than to encourage that curious mindset that you possess.

Fascinated watching you take things apart. He’s got a myriad of artifacts scattered around his home, thanks to a penchant for collecting them and keeping a small hoard of the stuff around for when he’s looking for stuff to pass the time. Feel free to take some of the non-lethal-to-the-touch ones and have fun prying them open to find out what makes them tick. He can think of no better use for them, and is actually rather intrigued to see what new discoveries you can make in dismantling and piecing these items back together again. He’ll even go out of his way when he’s out at the markets to find things that will stimulate that curious brain of yours. If you’re into those intricate puzzle boxes to test your skills he’s more than happy to bring them back for you,

The kind of partner who will lean over your shoulder while you’re working through a sudoku page and help you point out ones that have you stumped. It’s cute, but you may have to playfully ward him away with your pen if you’re absolutely set on solving these things on your own. He’ll take to ttrpgs like a duck to water - literally give him like an hour to go over the mechanics of whichever one you wanna show him and he is so ready you have to laugh at how invested he gets. You may have just introduced the man to his second favorite pastime - the first being you, of course.

[forwhatiam]

wait really? my sibling also does disability studies, that's so cool! I feel like there's a chance you guys know each other lol, that field is such a small world (or at least the way my sibling talks about it). I dabbled in disability studies a little when I was still in school, I took a really cool class at one point about technology and the body, but most of what I know I either learned from my sibling or for my own professional development reasons (accessible design for digital/web management, best practices and guidelines, etc.)

I can also TOTALLY see how literature and disability have the potential for a lot of overlap - what sorts of things do you focus on/what topics are you most interested in?

<3 your holiday pal

Your sibling's right, it is a pretty small field, but it is growing! I don't want to say too much about my school for the sake of internet safety and all that, but the entire DST department only has four professors and I live in constant fear that one of them is going to leave and they'll just stop offering it as a major instead of trying to hire a new one... But there is definitely a nonzero chance I've met your sibling, that's a fun thought!

As for my focuses... I've not been doing anything with it really this semester even though I wanted to, because I suddenly got really self conscious about how other DST students thought of me, but honestly I am so interested in how disability and sexuality interact. And that's sexuality as in sex as a whole and the discourse surrounding it, not sexuality as in like purely queer identity, though that's definitely included. But up until now I'd been finding a way to make all of my DST finals and presentations and such tie into it somehow, but like I said, I suddenly got really concerned with my classmates thinking I'm like sex obsessed or something 🥲 So I decided to focus more on psychiatry, which I am admittedly morbidly interested in despite hating the field with like every fiber of my being.

In the past I did write about this like fun little phenomenon of French writers loving to use this like disabled romantic figure, my two biggest examples being Notre-Dame de Paris (The Hunchback of Notre-Dame) and Le Fantome de l'Opera, which is definitely one of the ways I've pulled disability, sexuality, and literature all together. But I have this concept on the back-burner about the DST concept of crip time and William Burroughs' concept of junk time and how I could analyze those together, because honestly addiction is so under-examined within DST in my experience. It's definitely another point of interest, because addiction is like so obviously a disability but it just kind of gets pushed off to the side for optics which is dumb, because you don't get disability justice by hiding a disability that affects so many people in the corner and pretending it doesn't exist.

I'm getting really long-winded here so I'll make this quick, but in terms of purely literature, I'm a big fan of the Romantics and the Beats. People hate on the Beats, because they're so unendingly pretentious, and that's really fair and I completely understand, but I really fuck with that pretentiousness and I think there's just something so raw and evocative about them even within it.

[himbogiants]

What's the best thing to do when stressed about exams? Study? No. Write a g/t story until 4 in the morning? Of course! This one is definitely getting a part two. And possibly three. I dont wanna go starting a new story that I'll never get around to finishing as I already have plenty of stories to work on, but I got inspiration and had to write so enjoy. (Side note I was listening to part of your world from the little mermaid before I wrote this so you'll see connections in one part)

4010 words

Part of that world: part 1

The crew had just about wrapped up their game after a good few hours of play when Theo piped up among the conversation after a sip of his drink

"Oh! I forgot to tell you all! Remember how I said I thought this place was haunted?"

Nearly everyone groaned, much to Theos frustration

"Oh okay, because we sit here every weekend playing a fantasy game but ghosts and spirits are off the table?"

Besides him Thomas rolled his eyes with a smirk

"We never claimed the game was real, Theo. Neither are ghosts."

Maisey perked up at that shaking her head

"Well..I mean I feel like there's a possibility ghosts exist just..not here Theo. I'm sure your beliefs are justified!.. and I suppose I may be bias as I don't live in this building so I wouldn't know..but this building isn't very old- and as far as I'm aware, thankfully nobody's died here...yet."

Before anyone else could make their arguments Theo continued

"Yes yes! Well I'll have you know ouiji boards exist and it wouldn't surprise me if one of the neighbours dabbled in the dark arts before, my bets on Helen from 2B upstairs. Anyways!! What I wanted to say was, I bought cameras, for the kitchen to start with. I might get more but the kitchen seems to have the most evidence of supernatural so"

Thomas laughed from across the table

"Dude. You're crazy. You sure you're not high again?"

Henry who never usually pitched into conversations like this even had something to say, in his usual brooding manner- though he was Theos flatmate so his words were necessary in this matter

"You bought cameras and I'm only being informed now? You do realise rent is due in two weeks? You better not have wasted all your money."

Theo made gestures of neglect with his hands, shoving off the comment.

"Oh relax, you'll get the money man. They were off some dingy website. And I only set them up yesterday so no need to worry about privacy. I haven't even turned them on yet. But tonight. Tonight I get my answers!"

Sadie, adjusted her hair and snorted "yep. He's insane. I think the finals coming up are starting to get to you Theo."

Theo stood with a look of finality, clapping his hands together.

"Say what you will, but tonight we shall see, and you shall weep of embarrassment. Ye of little faith. For now, I belive we can wrap up this campaign for this evening, I do need to get these cameras on after all."

And so the crew packed it up, all wishing their goodbyes Thomas pairing off with Sadie, grabbing a box of takeout from the table with them. Maisey after giving Henry a kiss and Theo a hug made her way to the door only to stop before hand

"Best of luck with the cameras, Theo. Despite everything, I'll be curious to see if you find anything. Night guys!"

When all had left Theo shut the door to face a disgruntled Henry who regarded him with folded arms.

"Aw come on pal, don't gimme that. Listen I know you think I'm crazy but just, trust me on this! Things going missing, noises in the kitchen, voices in the walls?!"

Henry pinched his nose and sighed, pushing up his glasses.

"That isn't a ghost, Theon. It's rats. And as for voices, they're either an effect of marijuana or squeaking. Besides, I've already got it covered. You may have noticed the traps I've set."

Theo grumbled at this, his roommate ever so logical.

"Yeah I've seen 'em. Rich of you to comment on me wasting money when you bought all those!"

Henry shut his eyes, it was clear Theo was testing his limits- of which wore thin. He exhaled deeply through his nose

"It's a rational assumption Theon. Especially since rat's are real. And you should know I value cleanliness. I won't have some vermin lurking about if I can do something about it."

Theo took a mouthful of noodles from an open box, finishing it off and depositing it in the trash. He swallowed and met Henry's eyes.

"Well, one of us is right. And one is wrong. Let's let the camera decide."

Henry's face fell flat with a tiresome expression. He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Part of him praying the tech would show some full proof footage to finally shut his friend up.

"Goodnight, Theo."

In the end. Both boys were wrong. Though a judgemental eye would say Henry's theory was not far off. Pitter patters raced through the walls, from four small sets of feet. One pair slower than the other.

"Daphne! Wait up!"

But the other pair persisted, destination and goal in mind and on path.

The male voice breathed out harshly

"Come on Daph! You know I'm not as fast at you!"

Suddenly the other pair stopped and the small borrower boy came crashing into them -or rather her- with an 'oof'. But the girl didn't say a thing, only looked out in awe

"There it is Riven. The kitchen.."

Riven came to her side.

"You..you say this everytime you know that?..look, I've got a bad feeling about tonight I think it's best we make this quick."

Daphne turned with a raised brow and smirk to her friend

"You're not getting cold feet now, are you?"

Riven shook his head incredulously

"N-no! Of course not. Just, Daph.. I have a bad feeling is all. You seen the traps yesterday, right? And before you say it I know you'd never fall for them! B-but still! It's.. unnerving to picture. I just wanna be careful about this!"

Daphne wasn't phased by this and only smiled brighter

"Crazy right? Humans are so creative with their traps. I'd love to get my hands on one, I'm sure they'd be interesting to dismantle.."

Riven paled

"I..did I just hear you right? Gods Daphne they're deathtraps! Those things can and will kill us!"

Daphne rolled her eyes shrugging him off, ready to hurry off before Riven latched onto her arm.

"Please Daphne..just..just be careful. I wouldn't want anything to ever happen to you. Plus your father would do a lot worse to me than any trap could ever achieve."

Daphnes features softened and she pulled her friend into a hug.

"Alright Riven..I won't be long tonight. Or even 'foolish'" She mocked her fathers voice on that last word and continued

"Besides, Father doesn't even know we come here. He's too busy with the others. I dont even think he knows we come here. We aren't on the borrowing squad after all." She huffed, deadpanning with a mumble "He made sure of that much"

Riven eased

"Good. Though, no offense Daph..but I kinda get his precautions..no matter how good you are. You tend to get carried away.."

Daphne frowned at this, though her casual smirk founds its footing again, grabbing her friends arms and leaving through their secret exit out onto the counter tops.

Moonlight lit the kitchen and a tickling of a clock resounded through the quiet expanse.

The pair exited, one much faster than the other.

Daphne twirled around in glee as Riven was pulled along.

"Come on! Come on!"

Riven stumbled out almost falling forward, he grabbed his friend for support pulling himself up

"Daph! C-calm down!"

She hurried along, practically dancing about, basking in the moonlight. So many possibilities and so little time! Where to start was the question plaguing her most.

It didn't take long to figure out, Daphne was a very distracted girl after all.

She got loose of Rivens hold and her eyes lit up.

"Oh my gosh..Riven look.." She whispered.

Just before her sat the most peculiar thing. It was circular- almost like a button? But metal? An it had jagged sort of edges.

"It almost like a..bowl? Is that what humans call it?"

She knelt down gently and traced her fingers over it in awe, before picking it up and twisting it over. It's red sleek shine reflected in the dim lighting and as another bonus it was surprising light!  On the back there was an intricate design, words?

"C-o-k-e"

She sounded it out coming to the conclusion that it sounded 'coh-keh'

Riven inspected it too tilting his head

"I think it might be off a drink? You know..like a lid thing?"

Daphnes eyes lit up

"It's absolutely beautiful. And it's just.. lying here.."

Riven interupted before she could continue already sensing where her mind was headed.

"Daphne, no."

Daphne pouted

"Oh come on Riv! Clearly it isn't that important. They just left it here after all! And I know just where it will go in the collection."

Riven tried to reason but he knew it was a lost cost, so he resorted to excuses.

"I-its too big though! It won't fit in your satchel and you'll never be able to get past the guards with that button. They think we are scouting after all. If you come back with a borrow that big your father will know."

Daphne once more didn't seem bother by this, if anything she seemed determined.

"Nonsense. Humans leaves stuff outside all the time. I'll say I brought it home as a reward for my labour. You really think the guards will argue with the daughter of the chief?" She quipped.

"Possibly Daph..they're quite rude. Listen, we've never been here during the day. We don't know the humans, their attitudes or routine. Perhaps this cap is here for a reason. And if not that, then it must be some sort of test. You seen the traps. They think they have rats. Maybe they want to mess with them?"

At this Daphne faltered. Her eyes filled with dismay as she heeded her friends advice. Sure, it was amazing. Sure, she longed to take it home..but..her friend mattered more. It was already dangerous enough dragging him here with her. Leaving the treasure could be a compromise of sorts to make sure he kept coming with her. He was her only friend after all, and she would never want to loose him.

"Okay" She sighed placing it down.

"Gods I wish I was on the borrowing squad. If only I could convince father." She turned to her friend

"You know sometimes, they go during the day! They actually see humans..I mean..could you imagine?"

Riven swallowed, clearly not sharing her interest in seeing such large beings up close.

"Humans are so.."

"Dangerous?" Riven offered, to which Daphne chuckled lightly

"Yes.. I suppose..but gosh..just look at this stuff Riv..it's amazing..it's so creative and wonderful. I just..don't see how world that makes such wonderful things, could be so bad?"

Riven gave a look of pity. He took her hand a guided her to the edge, sitting down to which she obliged.

"It's not the creations that's are bad..it's who makes them..sure, there is cool stuff like that thingy, but then again, there is traps. Poison. All sorts of dangers. But I get it, Daph. It is pretty interesting, just dangerous. But for what it's worth, you'd make a fantastic borrower."

He did truly believe it- only part of him hated the thought. She was agile, quick and fast! But she was far too fascinated with humans, and that would only lead to one thing. He shivered at the thought.

They sat in silence as the listened to the clock tick, but with Daphne quiet never lasted very long.

"Yknow, I hear humans are kinda like borrowers."

Riven couldn't picture that. The height difference was staggering enough, but he was willing to hear her out.

"Apparently, when they need stuff, they leave their homes and return with bags full of supplies! It's like they have some sort of hidden storage facilities that has never ending supplies. Could you imagine?"

Riven cocked his head

"Really? I always pictured they traded stuff. Like.." He was shocked to find his next words leaving his mouth "Like us."

"I wonder what they trade then. One time outside I saw the most fantastic object. It was like that shiny red thing over there, only it was a different colour and completely flat! Kinda silvery? Like metal. Oh and it had a face on it!" At her friends bewildered look she laughed once more

"It's true! Anyways.. part of me reckoned they traded with those. I never seen another, so assumed it was rare. And I couldn't take it home because well..Father. It would've made a fine addition to the collection."

Riven smiled, but then a thought came over him. They'd been here quite a while- and this was meant to be a short visit. He did have a bad feeling in his gut after all.

"H-hey..I dont mean to cut things short. But we should head back now."

Daphne faltered as he stood up, hesitant to do so.

"We've only been here a little while!"

She watched his shoulders fall as he released a withheld breath

"I know but I trust my gut Daph..we should head home. Especially if we wanna be up early tomorrow"

It was Daphnes turn to be confused. Up early? Riven raised a brow as if to prompt her memory, but when he got no avail he solved her inner dilemma.

"We've got scouting at dawn, remember?"

Immediately Daphne rose to her feet in shock. "Right!! Oh gods how could I forget? I'm so foolish- come on then let's get out of here!"

Together the pair hurried off, but before they made it to the exit something caught her eye.

A small box with a blinking light. Riven was already in the wall ahead of her, but she stopped.

And slowly made her way over, with awe and caution.

What was this?

She paused before it, it was a big enough contraption, it went up to her rib area in height. She examined the strange box utterly enchanted. How was she only seeing this now?!

She got down on her knees to see an odd glassy circle in its core.

She tapped it once and skittered away immediately expecting a reaction, but it remained still, it's light persistent in its blinking.

She heard Riven coming back as he hopped back through

"Daphne! There you are! You scared me for a sec, I was talking to myself in there and I- what are you doing?"

He approached her before he too came to a halt.

"Um..Daph..what is that?"

Daphne who was starstruck only whispered

"No idea Riv..but its incredible."

Riven glared down at it. Something about the red light felt like warning signal.

"L-lets go Daph..this feels wrong."

She was instant to defend her newest find when Riven assured her they could return to see it again. She hesitantly agreed, as Riven pulled her away from it and guided her back to the wall. The whole way there, she didn't let it leave her sights once.

How peculiar..

Theo awoke the next morning. Ah, Sunday. Such a blasted day. A much appreciated break (if one didn't have to study), but a reminder that college resumed the next day. He lay back in his bed as the morning sun drifted in and bird song whistled about. Now..what was on today's agenda?

The d&d campaign didn't resume until next week when everyone was free again, so his efforts as dungeon master could take a break. He had no assignments. Odd. He was sure there was something about today that was incredibly important to him.

He turned on his phone and a video he fell asleep watching resumed.

'Buzzfeed Unsolved: The Demonic Possession of the Conjuring House

Seemed about right. He was pretty restless last night after his conversation with Henry-

Wait.

He sprung up immediately, his sheets billowing on the floor.

"The cameras!!"

He skidded out into the hall, almost slipping over his pyjamas as he hurried down to the kitchens to his cameras.

He was so excited. Proving people wrong was fun but proving Henry wrong? Now that was a celebration to behold.

This is not the way a normal person should act to their home being haunted- but if anything Theo wanted to witness the wandering spirits more than anything.

He slammed open the kitchen door and instantly scooped up camera one, the view of the dining area. He uploaded its content to his phone and pressed play, watching with bated breath.

Only to falter..in the corner on fast play it read the time. It got all the way to the current hour and absolutely nothing happened.

Ok..not great.

But there was still hope!!

Betting on the second camera he held his phone inches from his face watching for signs of something, anything!!

But there was absolutely nothing. Just the endless image of the cooker.

He felt his shoulders droop as he picked up camera three, questioning if it was even worth it. He sighed sitting back as he played the recording, anxiousness building in his stomach at the thoughts of his friends laughing at him. He usually didn't mind it, his theories were extreme after all. But this time he really hoped to be correct.

And somehow his prayers were answered.

And not in anyway he ever expected.

His eyes widened, his jaw slacked and he stood immediately, knocking the chair to the ground.

"Holy fuck!"

Two tiny figures stepped out onto the counter at two a.m. His heart was positively pounding, the phone fell from his hands, which he scrambled to catch, falling to the floor.

He sprung up almost leaping as he crashed into the cupboards.

"HENRY! HENRY!!! GET IN HERE!"

Henry was tired. In general and of his roommate's shit. He cared for him dearly, but some days he longed to move in permanently with Maisey. Anything to escape his madness- anything to escape mornings like this.

Of course he knew what he was being so urgently summoned for. Theon believed his blasted little cameras saw a ghost. If he were in better moods he wouldve played along to make it easier. But he was rather dull this morning. He longed for caffeine more than anything. Though there was no getting near the delicacy without Theon getting in the way.

He snatched his glasses, a sour expression painted his face. Better get it over and done with then.

He marched out into the kitchen, to find his roommate clutching his head as he stared down to his phone in shock.

"Theon, I swear, you're getting on my last nerve. You didn't see a bloody ghost."

But his friend simply shook his head- in agreement, not taking his eyes off the screen for a second.

"You're right. I didn't."

Henry hitched at this, Theon admiting he was wrong? That wasn't something that happened everyday. He decided to entertain his nonsense.

"Alright. You got my attention. What is it?"

Theon looked up from his phone

"Something much better. Call everyone get them here now. No time to loose. Go quickly!!"

Henry was taken a back, and frustrated to say the least but while Theon usually pulled stunts like this, this one seemed awfully genuine. He grabbed his phone.

It was thirty minutes later when the others arrived much to Theons dismay. They sure did take their time. But in that half an hour he hadn't moved. He simply kept rewinding- annoying the daylights out of his roommate who was getting more impatient about his outstanding discovery by the second. They were so small, so fragile..so very impossible. But it would appear more so, improbable. He dissected each frame harbouring any detail he could. Unfortunately for him the recording was black and white- part of night vision filter he guessed- he couldn't exactly make out their appearances but the were so human. There eyes both glowed from the recording so judging their actual eye colour was near impossible. It was almost the same with skin colour though the boy seemed quite tan, the girl pale. The boys messy hair was definitely dark brown, the girls looked to be a blonde? Or red? He couldn't distinguish it, but it was tied back in a ponytail that swished around around her excitement. Their clothes were also a point of interest, looking like sew scrap fabric. He couldn't imagine having to make his own clothing, albeit he was crafty but not that crafty.

He didn't want to spoil the surprise to his roommate so he kept the volume off, waiting to hear what these two had to say in the company of his crew. If they could even say anything that is.. he really hoped they could. It was eating him inside, if they could speak what language was it? An entirely new one? English? What did they sound like? They seemed to be a different species all together. His patience was at a loose end, he kept asking Henry every five minutes if their friends had arrived yet, which led to no avail.. and almost resulted in Henry shattering his coffee mug in fury.

But then the knock came and Theo sprung up whipping it open and ordering them to follow without any other explanation.

Once he had them all gathered he sat them down in their living room and shut them all up before they could start ranting about time or bombarding him with questions.

"Alright alright. Now I'm sure you're wondering why you're all here at eight a.m on a Sunday morning."

"Yeah, I'd love to know pal!" Thomas quipped sarcastically only for Sadie to continue "This is insane Theo. It's too early for this."

Theo almost faltered but he knew what they were about to see would shut their traps. Maisey yawned from beside Henry

"Please, Theo, it's quite early. I understand you're excited but..just..yeah"

Theo smiled at her, appreciating her acknowledgement only to clap and almost jump with a start.

"Right then. As you may remember for last night I believed there to be ghosts in this apartment. Specifically the kitchen."

"Oh jesus, this?! Man, this better be good" Thomas groveled.

"Well, I didn't find any ghosts, but I found something much better."

He screen mirrored his phone to the TV and pressed play.

Two a.m hit and he slowed it down.

Everyone was silent, and Thomas was about to break said silence when his eyes widened.

He sat up instantly. Henry spat out his coffee. Maisey squeaked. Sadie's jaw was on the floor.

Theos grin went from ear to ear as he finally grabbed the remote and turned up the volume. The big reveal. Please. Please

'Come on! Come on!' 'Daph! C-calm down!' 'Oh my gosh..Riven look'

The group sat in shocked silence, nobody dared interupt the little beings as the girl discovered a lid from a coke bottle. Theo, Sadie and Thomas all found a smile playing at their lips at her pronouncement of the word, the other two looked as if they'd lost all their brain cells- which was terrible as they were the smartest of the bunch. The mini duo marveled at the trash, the conversation moving on to her taking it to her collection. Then to her father- so there was more of them!

Theo couldn't help but catch how the boy spoke of 'humans' with such uncertainty. But absolutely adored how the girls eyes sparkled at the mere idea of them..of people like him. She..she reminded him of himself.

Henry despite his shock admired the boys intelligence for watching out for possible dangers, and could feel pity knowing exactly how it felt to have an over-the-top friend himself. Surely the square cube law outruled any possibility of tiny people yet here they were..

Sadie who too was floored, found the girl amusing, she was a proper Disney princess with how she was acting..all she needed was an animal sidekick. She was so curious about everything and it made her wonder the girls age. She looked old enough but younger than her. Same for the boy.

Maisey was in awe, as was everyone but this was something she couldn't describe..that's science couldn't even describe. She couldn't quite comprehend it all but she was trying her best. A whole society of tiny people.

Thomas was gonna explode. He was like a ticking bomb. This was absolutely insane. Guilt fell over him for his doubts in Theo but knowing how his friend usually was he felt he was justified. He'd been that way since they were kids. This was one of the rare times he'd been right.. not about ghosts..but of something supernatural being in his home. Thomas felt a smile pull on his face as he watched the antics of the duo, reminding him of his own friends. He'd very much like to meet them..

The girl being the daughter of a chief, her awe of human creation, the boys fear of it.. her longing to be on the borrowing squad. And the boys comfort that she'd make an excellent borrower..

Theos eyes lit up as a whole new wave of possibilities and excitement fell down upon him.

Namely when and how he would meet his new little borrower friends.

[illegally-blind-and-deaf]

21, 22 and 25 for the end of year asks?

I'm alive!

21. What message would you give to yourself at the beginning of the year?

I think I'd say "Hold on. Do not let go. Do not stray from the path, even when the winds and storms around you are hard. Hold on to the rod and don't let go. That's all that matters, because eventually the storm with calm down again."

22. Has your fashion style changed this year?

Not a huge amount, but there's definitely been a shift and a definite focus. I've grown from vintage-inspired clothes to researching particular fashions from the 30s-50s to match my style with it as best I can. I've started dabbling with vintage curls and make-up looks, and im incorporating more vintage femme looks into my every-day style, not just when I dress up for events.

25. What's one thing you hope will continue next year?

My dreams for my future. I hope to one day study abroad, even if it means staying here and completing a university degree here first and then going overseas. I dream of living somewhere in Europe, even just for a little while, and I love the idea of studying there and doing what I love while exploring new cultures. Hopefully my mum will still support me getting a dual citizenship with Lithuania and help me work towards getting one.

Thank you so much! :)

[marshmallowprotection]

Do you think shifting is real? I’m getting tiktoks on it again and I won’t lie it messes with my mental health as it convinces me I can go somewhere where I’m actually happy with all the media that’s comforted me for so long. I like how I’ve seen old posts of yours where you slap sense into people who want to shift and I need that right now. Ha.

If you're not hurting anyone or yourself, it's perfectly okay to journal, draw, and write all the fantasies you want. After all, what is the great comfort in media and fandom if not the experience of getting to see what it might be like to be friends with your favorite character? Or to see what it might be like to be with your favorite character in a more intimate setting like a date? There's nothing wrong with that!

Hell, I'll be writing these scenarios all day long for my comfort and others! It's fun to dabble in the heads of your favorite characters and see what it could be like if there was no universal divide. There's a lot of fun to be had in making your characters or even self-inserting into the media.

However, I don't care for the in's and out's of Reality Shifting in the sense of someone trying to explain to me how it isn't just another form of daydreaming. I won't argue if it's real or not. I will just say Shifting looks no different than daydreaming to me.

I'm sure that Shifting is just a form of mediation and daydreaming at the end of the day. It isn't harmful unless it impedes your life. Now, I won't tell people not to have fun. Listen, if you're having fun and you see that it helps you, that's okay. There's no need to get into the thick semantics of if Shifting is "real or not".

I'm not going to scold people for it. I want people to be able to have fun at the end of the day in the way that works for them best, and me talking about this isn't to shame anybody or make them feel bad. I'm just concerned for people's health. I just want people to be aware of the risks of excessive daydreaming and dissociation.

Because, it does not matter what you believe Shifting is, if you spend hours of the day in bed with your eyes closed tight when you have to do other things, that's not healthy for you. This goes for fantasizing of any nature, not just Shifting. 

I say this as someone who experiences Maladaptive Daydreams.

Your average daydream as you stare out of a math class window is not the same as a maladaptive daydream.

“Maladaptive” means you have an excessive amount of daydreams to cope with or adapt to a problem, and it doesn't solve the problem, it just allows you a chance to disconnect from reality to survive. It's not a healthy thing. It's not something I always enjoy. I wish people were more informed on the subject but it's not it's widely known.

I genuinely just want to warn people about excessive daydreaming. I want people to be well informed about what can sometimes happen when you experience a disconnection from your sense of self or your sense of reality. 

Hell, someone who's reading this might not even realize that there's a word to describe their Daydreams, and if that can at least help somebody understand that they're not alone, it's worth talking about. 

[Maladaptive Daydreaming]

Ever since I was young, I've daydreamed excessively to cope with things my little mind should've never had to have dealt with. It's a form of dissociation that's continued into my adult life to kept me cope, and that's true for many other people. This condition isn't a very widely known one or even vastly studied, but it does fall under the dissociative umbrella.

Imagine being immersed in a world that is so much better than your reality, now imagine what it might feel like to be pulled out of that. In that sense, you wouldn't want to leave the daydream. That's why it can be so addictive. It can get to the point where it interferes with your life on a day-to-day basis.  

I don't think there's anything wrong with daydreaming. I don't think there's anything wrong with having fun and imagining different universes. I think it's great that we can shape our minds to create so many wonderful things. I just worry for people who aren't informed about making sure that they are mindful in their consumption of fantasies. 

I can spend hours at a time in a daydream, totally disassociated from the world around me, and while having these vivid daydreams can make for a great writing experience later on, it's not fun to lose hours of your day. It is addictive, as it is a lot better to be in a reality where everything goes the way you want it to instead of the one where we live, you know, where things don't always go right. 

I've got a way better handle on this these days because I've got more tools and means to keep myself grounded, but the dissociation is still a part of my day to day life, even with progress.

I experience Derealization and Depersonalization in part because of this.

[A visual of Derealization vs Depersonalization].

I understand how people feel when they want nothing more than to be in a reality where they feel loved and cherished by characters who love them all the same. I get that, because that's where people start excessive daydreams when they are young, in most cases, not all of them.

I just worry for people who get too caught up in their fantasy that they forget to live in this reality, if that makes sense. We can "Shift", Daydream, or what have you any time, but at the end of the day, we live in this reality, and we can't change that.

We have to fight to make this reality a better one, even if this one doesn't feel as fun as holding Saeran Choi to your heart, you know?

Make this reality the one you want it to be.

Don't let yourself not have fun with fantasies, though, because there's nothing wrong with that. Make those CMCs and Self Inserts to have fun! I do it, too. At the end of the day, just be mindful of the way you consume daydreams and roads that help you shape realities in your mind, no matter the avenue you explore them because you deserve to have fun. 

Keyword: Moderation in your teenage, young adult, or adult life.

[youwontlikethisblog]

a vent about being a writer

I half expected last year, to have my book ready to publish by this year, you know, after finally accepting that it was something I was able to do.

The funny thing about commitment issues is that they don't just affect you when it comes to relationships or the lack of them. It's the paralyzing fear of saying you'll do something and failing at it and everything turning out wrong and horrible. I can't commit to anything in life. I've only ever committed to one thing in life and it's the one thing I don't regret at all, even then the pressure of failing is crushing.

I don't expect things to last a life time. I enjoy the ride while it's there and I'm fine whenever it ends. I'm crushed when things don't work out though. It reaffirms the believe that bad things always follow when you really want something to happen.

I want to publish my work because I worked hard on it and I want people to read it. I don't want to hear feedback or opinions about it. I don't want criticism or praise. I don't want it to be the best book published in modern history or it be the worst. I simply want to live in limbo. You know, a small cult following that never talks about it.

When I sent it to the first agent/editor a friend had recommended me to send to; they asked me what I wanted from the book and I told them the exact same thing. They told me they had read a bit from it and liked it, that for it to be my first manuscript and the first piece I wanted to publish, that it was impressive and that I knew the story and characters well and that it would be a hit with the the YA audiences because it spoke about topics that younger people should know about. My target is between YA and NA(New Adult). They were trying to sell me off on this book being the greatest thing, you know? To do public talks, readings, this whole thing and how it would be amazing...

To sell you the world...to buy the world, is very tempting, right?

I mean, think about it, what writer wouldn't jump on the opportunity to have an editor who has connections be their agent/editor and do it all with a family friendly discount while being your guide? That sounds like the promise land!

Yeah, talk about privilege!

Here I am, a person who dropped out of High School because my mental health was trash, I didn't get to go to college, I've basically taught myself all I know about writing and studied it on my own and my natural talent of writing is just an added bonus as to why I'm a writer. A writer who has no life plan, my closest friends are either married or moved to different cities/states to peruse their dreams and I stay at home, rotting away because I can't form connections, I can't work in a place without thinking of how filthy everything is and having a panic attack at the thought of talking to strangers, not understanding orders and feeling like an idiot, and most importantly, the fact that I'd have to commit to said work meaning I'd have to be there every day at a certain time, for a certain amount of time, maintain my cool and not have the option to leave whenever, show up whenever, and be committed to that is a little bit more than overwhelming; it's asphyxiating.

So you know whenever a person who's known you since you were a kid asks you "so what are you doing now Where do you work? What's your big life plan?" it's embarrassing to say that you're unemployed and are an aspiring artist, minus the fact you make no money out of that aspiration.

"I'm a writer." I say, with a smile, a palpitating chest, and a stomach tide in knots.

"Oh wow! That's so interesting, what kind of books do you write?"

"Oh you know..." I take a second to remember what I've written. "Books, about life, and such, I dabble in all kinds of genres."

"What books have you published?" They smile, excited to find a person who has done something new and exiting, outside of being a doctor, telling a person you're this artist who might have a promising future at being known by many, it's like telling them 'I'm a famous person in the making and you can say you knew me before the fame!'

"I haven't yet, but I'm working on it."

"What's the book about?"

and queue me forgetting everything I have ever written in the past decade, much less the manuscript my now fired and no longer talking to me, editor/agent, has in his possession, are erased out of my mind and I have no recollection of ever being a writer to begin with, "Uh...it's about a girl...who moves in with her best friend after running away from home because she was in the foster system for a year because her dad was a junkie, and then lived with her mom but her mom wasn't that great so she ran away and now she's living with her best friend and it's about that and the repercussions about a teen living the life of a young adult and how that affects her, plus she's in a band!" but instead of saying that it's more like me going off about a conspiracy theory. All the while my heart is in my throat and I fear them asking me more questions.

Usually the conversations ends with "Oh wow! That's very interesting, I could never write something like that. Let me know when you publish it so I can read it!" and then for the next couple of months they'll keep asking you if you're done and no! Linda! I haven't because I have this paralyzing fear that the book will be a success and people will want to know about me and the fear that I might think it'll be a success but it'll bomb because my dumb editor ghosted me! Which must mean that it's a horrible piece of literary work and it's so disgustingly boring and horrible they've decided to never ever speak to me to even let me know how bad it is!

And yeah, you are going to say that it happens. It takes longer to find an agent and editor than to actually publish the book, a lot of books get rejected, I should just do self-publishing.

Oh but to do that you must have a social media following, so people can expect your book and the word is out there. That way you launch isn't a complete flop.

How do I do that?

I suck at having conversations. I suck and selling. I suck at talking into a void called social media and writers on social media make it seem like you have to be the most engaging person ever and I wonder why can't it be like old times? Where I publish under a man's name and the man at the newspaper tells me that it won't have success but I tell him to pity me and that I'll pay him instead and if there's success he can start paying me...yeah...that's commitment too.

When you have commitment issues, you view the world as only commitment. You can't uncommit to things. Very few things are actually a gray area and I thrive in the gray.

I have a manuscript and I read it over and over again and each time I think it's mediocre, so horrible it would be an embarrassment to ever publish it but each time I'm done reading it; I believe it's the best literary work created in the modern age.

I know my character too well that if I wrote in a flowery, poetic, and grammatically correct way, it'd be a disservice and crime against the character and their story so I can't control that.

If I expose her I fear the hatred she'll receive. I created her when I was fifteen years old, I've watched her grow, evolve, change, and become who she is now... I don't want praise, I don't want opinions, criticism, negative or positive feedback, I simply want to release it into the wild and see what happens, but I also want it to have some sort of success and well it's a cycle...

I thought I'd publish my first book a year ago...I'm barely hanging onto a dream that I never wanted...life is an oxymoron and I can't seem to commit to the life path that if I publish that means I have to be a writer for the rest of my life...and If don't, I renounce the idea, the life, and the desire to be a writer and I get a "real" job where I have to deal with people...sometimes I really hate 18 year old me for not doing it but funnily enough, that's also where my commitment issues come to play.

[writingsbychlo]

I know you're working, so answer this when you can. but I'm sharing so I don't forget lol. what do you think the profession of IC would be in a modern world? I don't know everyone because my imagination is precarious, but I definitely I think of Morrigan having a luxury clothing/makeup/jewelry brand. and Emerie I come to be one of its famous partners and they just fell in love and the two are rich bosses who date 😌😌

okay, some of these are not really creative. like, they literally write themselves, I’m working on their personalities, y’know?

rhysand: CEO of a business he inherited from his father. (definitely a corrupt company that was on its knees when he took it over, he now donates ti lots of charities and does everything above board)

azriel: personal investigator & legal advisor. mostly for rhys’ company, actually, he investigates all potential clients and employees and threats, and offers legal advice.

cassian: personal trainer specifically at a boxing gym that he owns. well, technically rhysand owns it, but cassian is buying it with monthly instalments. rhysand tried to give it to him as a gift, cassian refused. he doesn’t know that rhysand is changing him less than 10% of what it actually cost.

feyre: struggling painter who met rhys at an auction she was only at because she was hosted to display one single painting by her college, and she had no idea who he was and ranted to him about all her struggles. he bought her painting, and all the others she had, in exchange for one single date. she is still a painter but she now married into millions. she’s still humble. she keeps rhys humble too. he has that first painting he bought hung up in his office.

mor: personal shopper, but for the elites. stylist for celebrities and big events. she dabbles in a lot of fashion things.

nesta: law student and aspiring lawyer.

elain: café owner. nothing more to say, just a cute little coffee shop with pastries.

lucien: musician who met feyre in college and helped her out of a bad relationship with his best friend of the time, but his music doesn’t make him much money so he temps for rhys occasionally. no set job, just fills in where he can, always. does a bit of everything, because music is his real passion.

gywn: bookshop owner, really quaint bookshop, but it stocks all the good stuff. she also custom makes bookmarks to sell for extra cash inspired by whatever book she’s currently reading. she also runs a book club there on thursday night. and there’s a back room she made into a study room for any students who drop by.

bonus: helion: one of those online make fitness coaches who runs retreats and does yoga and “wellness weeks” and it actually works. is actually a licensed therapist who got sick of the couches and decided to make nice retreats and help people in groups. massively popular. massively undercharges for his services.

[thera-daydreams]

INDAY

± A Trese Fic ±

[Crispin/Basilio/Maliksi/Dominic x Skymaiden!Reader]

01: Noon at Ngayon (✓)

02: Ang Kambal na Anak ni Datu Talagbusao, Diyos ng Digmaan (Link)

03: Ang Prinsipe ng Mga Tikbalang (Link)

04: Ang Pinuno ng Mga Aswang (Link)

05: (Link) 06: (Link) 07: (Link)

01: Noon at Ngayon

Back then, long before you were born, your mother used to work as a katulong of the Trese Family and was very close to its matriarch, Miranda Trese. Coming from the province, she was no stranger to superstitions—even more so after knowing the work of Miranda's husband Anton Trese, who was actually the Babaylan-Mandirigma of Manila.

Years later, after giving birth to you around the same time Miranda gave birth to her twins (one a stillborn, unfortunately), it was you and Alexandra who became best buddies instead, as different your personalities were. You two had practically grown up together and you yourself heard countless stories of the supernatural from your Tito Anton. It wasn't that hard to believe when he and his sigbin companions would sometimes come home tracking blood prints on the floors (which you'd helped your mother clean up). Heck, you'd even met Señor Armanaz, the Great Stallion himself and the ruling tikbalang of the Armanaz herd. That pretty, white-haired diwata seemed extremely fond of you, too, which was evident when you'd sneak in with Alexandra to Tito Anton's meetings and she would smile (even wave) at you happily.

You had absolutely no idea why the fae-like lady was so nice to you, but you weren't complaining at all!

However, in spite of your experiences with the supernatural, you and your mother always believed that you were normal humans. In actuality, that was who you were for the majority of your childhood. It was only until Miranda herself saw a vision of you—a much older you—fighting the monsters of the Underworld alongside her own daughter. During dinnertime, Miranda told your mother that she saw you blessed by the heavens with powers that would aid in the battle against evil.

It sounded absolutely ridiculous, right? Yeah, your mom thought so, too.

Your mother only laughed it off as she placed a steaming bowl of tinola in front of Alexandra's brothers, who instantly dug in like they haven't been fed in years.

"Boys! Dahan-dahan lang," Anton reprimanded his sons. "Or else you'll choke and the soup will come out of your noses!"

"Okay, Papa."

"Grabe ka naman, Miranda. I doubt that anything like that's going to happen to my daughter," your mom chuckled, watching your little hands try to feed Alexandra with a piece of chicken. "Unlike you guys, our lineage isn't anything special. Ordinaryo lang ang lahi namin."

Miranda sighed, looking at you and her only living daughter enjoying your time being kids, "I guess you're right. Baka panaginip lang talaga 'yun."

Anton glanced at her knowingly. Although he was aware that you and your mom didn't dabble in magic or anything like they did, he knew that whenever Miranda—one of the Seven Seers—had such vivid dreams, it was something of great importance. But he decided to say nothing, understanding how much your mother wanted to let you live as normal of a life possible in this household.

That was when you were seven years old. One year later, Miranda died fighting against a group of aswang who decided to betray Anton. Said man found the eight-year-old Alexandra hiding in a corner behind the waterfalls, scared and holding Sinag close to her heaving chest as she tried to hold her tearful sobs in.

Of course, a few days later, you and your mother attended the funeral with the mourning Trese family. All the brothers had done their best to stay strong, especially for their little sister who didn't fully understand yet what just happened. Little you ran towards Alexandra, holding her hand tightly as her mother's casket was lowered. Around you were various comrades, both human and non-human, paying their respects to their bereaved allies.

That day, as you turned your back to return to your mother's arms, you knew you would never forget the feeling of numerous unearthly eyes following your every movement.

Even they could sense that there was something about you, a so-called regular human child. You smelled human and had the aura of one, but there was something they couldn't place. It was like a tiny rock getting into your shoe, not coming out at all.

Much changed after that, but you and Alexandra remained close together. To your dismay, just after you graduated elementary, you and your mother had to move back to the province to stay with your sick grandparents. The last thing you could remember was kneeling in the back of the car, looking sadly through the rear windscreen as Alexandra and her brothers waved goodbye to you.

More than a decade had passed since then. You used to write letters to Alexandra, but after Hank told you she had to undergo the trials of the Puno ng Balete, you haven't heard from her (although Hank did disclose that she'd managed to come home safely, which was a great relief to you). You didn't blame her; you knew Tito Anton had passed away in the five years she was gone and that she had to take over the title of Lakan, as well as the Babaylan-Mandirigma of Manila. It was a demanding job! You remembered Tito Anton sometimes staying up all night—breakfast would be served and he would still be in his study, going over paperwork. On other days, he would be gone for consecutive nights handling cases all around Manila. You could only pray Alexandra was fine.

Your life had continued on, as well—you took care of your ill grandparents until they died, helped your mother in the province, went to a good highschool, then earned your degree in another prominent city that wasn't Manila.

Your mom actually recommended that you go to school somewhere else, given the constantly rising number of attacks in the capital of the country. And so you did. Life was hard, but normal until then.

The funny thing was that, when you reached the age of twenty-one, you finally understood why those supernatural creatures kept looking at you weirdly as a kid (and why Lady Diwata liked you so much).

What was even funnier was that the dramatic revelation came to you when you weren't in the Philippines. It was after you freshly graduated college, when you were traveling all over Asia to volunteer in charity projects. It was always your dream to one day expand your horizons not only beyond your province, but the Philippines itself, while also doing good in the world.

And here you were, walking that path you dreamt of.

The organization you luckily managed to become a member of provided everything you needed, and every few months, you would move from country to country. Because of that, you'd already been able to travel to so many places. First it was Thailand, then Indonesia, China, South Korea, India, Japan, Sri Lanka, Singapore, Malaysia, and currently, you were in Vietnam. Visiting those places was fun and gave you a whole new perspective of the world you lived in; it was a... learning experience, too.

Still, that incident happened when you were in Thailand, when you were the last one in the rented apartment balcony taping up the boxes for the donation drive tomorrow. Yawning, you cut more duct tape and stuck them to the open boxes tightly.

"Inday," someone said from behind you. You didn't bother turning around, thinking it was one of your fellow volunteers looking for you this late at night. Probably your roommate. She was the only one who usually called you by your nickname instead of your real name.

"Hmm?" you hummed, taping up more boxes. "Papasok na ako sa kwarto, Lyn. I just have a few more boxes to close. Alam mong mapapagalitan ako kung may hindi madidistribute bukas."

"Hindi ako si Lyn."

You paused, then slowly turned around, flinching at the sudden bright light that shone right against your eyes. For a moment, akala mo namatay ka na at hinaharap mo si San Pedro.

It was a glowing figure in white whose face you couldn't clearly see, which frightened you even more.

"Ay, mama!" you exclaimed, shielding your eyes and falling to your knees. Then, you gasped loudly, patting your body and panicking with closed lids. "Oh my God, am I dead? Nasa heaven na po ba ako?" Your lips wobbled. "Ngayon pa nga lang ako nakaalis ng Pilipinas... I haven't even done all the things I've wanted to do! Hindi pa ako nakapagpaalam sa nanay ko—aray!"

You'd felt something hit the back of your head. Hard. It was the glowing figure in white, but now you could see their unimpressed face scowling at you.

"Kalma lang, Inday. Hindi ka pa patay, pero makinig ka nang mabuti," they shushed you urgently (you weren't sure if they were male or female). "Do not be afraid. I am a messenger from the heavens, and I bear great news!"

"Great news...?" you trailed off, then your eyes widened excitedly. "Like, nanalo ba ako ng lotto? Isang milyon? Bilyon? Hala! Wait, is this a Mama Mary moment? I'm not ready to be the next immaculate conception!"

They glared at you, making you shut up instantly. "Sorry, I'll shut up now," you apologized with a mumble. This person (thing?) was kind of... strict. Whatever did you do wrong? You were just sleep-deprived and running on energy drinks (as well as kape).

"I have come to tell you that you are the vessel of the last skymaiden," they revealed, arms wide open. The light around them seemed to grow even brighter, making you squint. You felt like you were about the go blind! "Ikaw ang huling biraddali, Y/N L/N."

At ayun, zero brain cells remaining. Tunay na nagloading screen ang brain mo. Nag-error at nagcrash pa nga siguro, eh.

"... Ha? Ano?"

You blinked, completely speechless—as seen by how wide your jaw had dropped open. It wasn't that you were unfamiliar with the biraddali, it was just that you'd only heard of them once when you were just a young child. Your Tita Miranda had mentioned they were long gone from the world of the supernatural.

"Oh no, me? A biraddali? You're joking," you stuttered out, pointing at yourself. "Aren't they extinct or something? And, uh... not human?"

They nodded, "Yes. It is correct that everyone in the mystical world thought that the biraddali were long gone, even before the colonizers came to conquer the native lands. However, before the skymaidens all disappeared, the youngest and most powerful one among the seven sisters sealed her soul away to the rivers of time until the strength of a heavenly being was needed to help purify the evils of the world." The figure floated closer to you. "That last biraddali's soul, along with its corresponding power, traits, and knowledge, had chosen to reside deep within you the moment you were conceived."

Honestly, how were you even supposed to react? Your life was nowhere near ready for something like this. Was this a prank by your friends? Your colleagues? The light around this person seemed too authentic to be fake, though.

You stayed in shock for an entire minute, silent. The being in front of you only waited for a response.

"Ano 'to, Sailor Moon? Winx Club?" you whispered to yourself, before slapping your own cheek and scolding yourself. A stinging red mark was left on your face. "Inday, kakamanhwa mo 'yan! Nasosobraan ka na ata, matulog ka na!"

Sighing heavily, you rubbed your face tiredly, still in disbelief that you—according to this stranger—were apparently some old soul from a species of ethereal beings that were long gone. It sounded like something out of those reincarnation webnovels you got addicted to. What now, you were the MC? Wattpad ka, girl?

"Look, this is a mistake. I still have to wake up early tomorrow to give out the donations," you spoke to the glowing being (or whatever it was), laughing nervously. "I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong person. Either that or I must be hallucinating from sleep deprivation, because I'm definitely not a divine creature. You're probably just a product of my imagination. Sorry, I'm going to bed."

Bang!

At that moment, the power in the building went out. The only thing you could see was the thing who assumed you were a biraddali (they were so bright they were like a flashlight in the dark for you).

"Brownout?" you blinked. It felt wrong, though. It was eerily silent. "Did a fuse blow up?"

"Nagsimula na ang iyong unang pagsubok, Y/N," they announced seriously. "Creatures of the dark have already begun to take over this building. You may not have noticed, but all throughout your life, you have always been helping and giving. It is your nature as a being descended from the heavens themselves, and now, it is time for you to accept your destiny."

"Hoy, sandali lang! Sandali, sandali!" You were absolutely wide awake now as you heard the sounds of strange whispers around you. It was terrifyingly creepy, much creepier than whatever you'd seen back in the Trese Residence (and you'd seen a lot in that house). You did not want to be a part of a horror movie-like lifestyle. "Don't I have a choice in this?! I—I don't have any training or fighting skills! Hindi ako Alexandra Trese o Babaylan-Mandirigma! I'm not ready for this, holy sh—"

The candescent creature raised a brow at you, "Inday, I just told you that you have the power of a lost mystical being. And tell me, if you had the power to save your companions in this building from the forces of evil, would you save them?"

You were silent, knowing the answer.

"Well?" they prodded.

You bit your lip, "Oo naman. I'm not heartless!" But you were a little impulsive. And apparently, insane.

"That's what I thought. I just need you to believe in yourself," the being encouraged, gentler this time. It transformed into something smaller and rounder—like a ball of light. "Ikaw ang huling biraddali, Y/N, at marami kang kapangyarihan. Isa dito ay ang pagtulong sa mga nangangailangan, lalo na laban sa masasamang nilalang."

Bestie, what had you just gotten into?

You swallowed apprehensively, then nodded in determination, "Sige. So, how do I save the people in the building? Biraddali were said to be able to shapeshift, right? If I remember the tale correctly. Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening to me right now."

"That's just one of your abilities, but I'll teach you. I'm actually your guide," they replied confidently. "With me, you'll be able to master your powers and exceed your capabilities in no time!"

"Wait! Anong pangalan mo?" you asked breathlessly, following them as they speedily flew out of the room. "Grabe, slow down! I'm not athletic! I haven't even exercised this week, goodness."

"... Gabay. Ako si Gabay."

Despite the adrenaline and fear running in your veins, you still grinned up at the ball of light, "Okay. Nice to meet you, Gabay."

This was just the beginning of your supernatural combat training abroad. When you returned to the Philippines three years later, you were stronger, faster, and more powerful than you'd ever felt before. It was crazy.

Oh, that guy who tried to rob you when you came back to Manila was crazy, too. The two identical-looking men in dark suits and white ties—you wondered how they were surviving the heat in that attire—could only watch in awe as you chased down that man who stole your bag while doing acrobatics and parkour.

"Uy, Kuya Crispin, sino kaya 'yun?"

"Ewan ko, Basilio."

"... She's kind of pretty. Type ko. Type mo rin ata."

"The more important question is, paano niya na nahuli ang magnanakaw?"

"Oo nga, no? One in a million chance 'yan dito sa Maynila, haha! Ang astig ni ate!"

(Next Chapter.)

± Author's Notes ±

Ayieee, type daw tayo ng kambal! 😌

How the hell did I write this entirely random thing in one day? 2k+ words? Ano daw? 😃⁉️

You know, this was supposed to just be a Trese one-shot or a bunch of drabbles for the characters I'm currently simping for... but it turned into a full-blown, shameless self-insert slash crackfic. Kakacellphone ko 'yan. 🤦‍♀️

Nagresearch pa ako ng articles about Filipino skymaidens because I wanted something similiar to the Japanese celestial maidens (tennyo). Very random idea but why not? Gusto ko ng badass Y/N na hindi takot lumaban sa mga mumu! 👻

Also, pagbigyan niyo nalang ang matandang 'to kasi ilang taon na akong hindi nagpopost ng mga writings ko. May track record pa naman ako bilang author na hindi nagtatapos ng mga fanfic, hehe. I also haven't read the comics so please forgive me for any inaccuracies and of course, misspellings/errors. Gusto ko lang matapos 'to para makakabalik na ako sa Jujutsu Kaisen. 🥲😗

Anyways, comments and constructive criticism are welcome! Hit those heart, reblog, and follow buttons for updates! Just comment if you want to be tagged in the next chapters. ❤

[sweet-s0rr0w]

✨ get to know you tag game ✨

Thanks to @teacup-tai and @caroll-in for tagging me! I am really Very Boring, so I don't usually do these, but for you two I'll give it a go😘

Favorite colour: orange, anything autumnal 🍂

Currently reading: 18 Tiny Deaths by Bruce Goldfarb, which is a biography of Frances Glessner Lee, a socialite from Chicago who ended up a pioneer in the new field of forensic science. She is probably best known for creating the Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death, teeny super-detailed little dollhouse dioramas of real murder scenes used for testing forensics students.

(credit Lorie Shaull for Wikimedia)

By reading, I mostly mean staring wistfully at the book on my bedside table, but it's right up my alley and really good. Fic-wise, I'm between works at the moment, but I'm about to start The Greatest Game by @sleepstxtic, and after that I have my eye on a few from Reverse Big Bang.

Last song: I hardly listen to 'adult' music, because my house is always so full of noise that when the kids aren't around I really need silence. So it's probably some kids' shite like Frozen.

Last series: Slowly working my way through The Boys, and before that it was Better Call Saul, which I thought was an absolute masterpiece.

Last movie: Oh god, same as songs! I don't have the concentration span for films! Last thing I saw at the cinema was Top Gun: Maverick which was as pleasingly homoerotic as the original and has provided me and @sitp-recs with lots of hilarity😂

Currently working on: just dabbling, trying to claw my way out of writers' block by adding little paragraphs here and there to my Sudsfest, and also something random I might submit to next year's mpreg fest 🤷

Can I just say, like, if you want to do this please consider yourself tagged? No pressure!

[silver-tongued-bby]

You're Mine, Chapter 7

You’re the CEO of a groundbreaking drug company in Sweden with a work/life balance that’s more work than anything else. That is before you meet Loki, who turns your world on its head in the best of ways.

Set during the first Avengers movie. This work contains explicit content and BDSM.

Pairing: Dom!Loki x Sub!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!!, BDSM, dirty talk, oral sex (M receiving), bondage, spanking, fingering, anal play

Word Count: 4,440

Chapter Summary: You cook Loki dinner and he stops going so easy on you.

Author's Note: Chapter 7 already???? I'm thinking of closing most of the fic out next chapter but keeping it around for a few more prologues (particular kinks lol). I'm sorry I was late with this one- but I hope it was worth the wait. As always, your feedback is valued and I hope you enjoy!!

...

By the time the two of you slipped out of the bath it was well after sunset. You felt fully relaxed and refreshed. You changed into a comfortable pair of shorts and sweater while Loki conjured himself an outfit.

You led him into the kitchen, sitting him down at one of the stools at your countertop.

“Do you like Thai food?” You asked, turning to open the fridge.

“Of course,” you could hear the apprehension in his voice.

You smiled at him then brought out some chicken thighs, scallions, an egg and some Chinese broccoli, placing them on the counter. Bringing your eyes back to his you found him curiously watching you. “Is something wrong?”

He chuckled. “No- it’s just I think I can count on one hand the number of times someone’s cooked for me who wasn’t being paid in some way. Thor once tried to make stew while we were hunting Bilgesnipes but it did not end with something edible.”

“Hm- not sure what a Bilgesnipe is but I can assure you this will be edible.” You smiled at him, grabbing the wok from the cupboard.

“Do you cook?” You asked, filling a pot of water on the stove for the rice noodles.

“I’ve dabbled since coming to Midgard. I do love a good plate of breakfast meats,” he sounded thoughtful.

You laughed. “Good to hear we have at least one leg up on Asgard. Here,” you pushed a cutting board with the vegetables in front of him. “Can you chop these? And slice the scallions? Here’s a knife,” you handed him your nakiri.

He moved the knife, testing the weight and balance of it with his fingers. He nodded, then gave it a flip and went to work, finishing in seconds.

“Oh,” your mouth was open as you looked at the finely prepared vegetables then back up to him. You were starting to rethink your first and only rule.

He smiled, chuckling. “Knives are kind of my thing.”

“I see that…�� you trailed off, eyeing his dextrous fingers as he held the knife, picturing him in the armour he had on last night, knife in hand… You swallowed, bringing your eyes back to his you knew by his mischievous grin that he could tell exactly what you were thinking.

“Um- sorry, right okay.” You composed yourself then brought everything over to the stove and mixed the sauce. You quickly assembled the dish, tossing the ingredients together in the wok.

You dished out two servings and brought them to the counter and settled in the stool beside him. He had topped up your wine glass already.

“Ta-da! Pad See Ew,” you motioned to his dish, grinning.

He smiled at you, picking up the chopsticks to take a bite. His eyes grew wide, “this is delicious.”

“Thank you, thank you,” you bowed slightly towards him before turning to eat the noodles in front of you. Fuck- it was delicious.

“Where did you learn to cook like this?” He asked, most of his bowl gone.

“The internet. I’m not going to lie to you- I only know three recipes. This one kept me alive in college.”

You soon fell into an easy conversation as you finished your meal.

“Well, I promise next time I’ll do the cooking,” he said, helping you clear up the dishes. “Though I did bring desert,” he said and pulled a plate full of petit fours out of thin air, placing it on the counter before you with a little wink.

“Impressive,” you mused, bringing the wine to the couch in the other room. The two of you settled side-by-side on the couch, looking out at the dark, frosty lake beyond.

“Do you miss New York?” Loki asked, stretching out on the couch, bringing his hand to lightly brush circles over your shoulder.

“Hmm, sometimes. Though Tony, my old boss, is around a lot so at times it feels like I’m still in New York working in his lab.” You decided then to let him in on the only thing you’d kept from him- your work for Stark Industries. It was only fair. If he could tell you about being an alien-god you could tell him about your postdoctoral experience.

“Are you two close?” His hand stopped its movement.

“In a working-friendship kind of way. He’s the primary shareholder of the company so he’s around often. He took me under his wing at Stark Industries.” You let the words sink in.

“You worked for Tony Stark,” he turned to you. “From what I’ve seen of the man he seems like quite the handful.” He gave you a grin.

You laughed, relieved. “Yes I’d have to agree with you there. Though he’s the one who pushed me to go to Elv. I hadn’t been out in ages.”

“I’ll have to give him my thanks,” he picked a langue de chat off the plate, popping it in his mouth.

“It would be fun to visit New York again, with you, someday,” you said gently, looking into his eyes.

“I’d love to,” he smiled at you.

“Speaking of Elv, you’ve told me what you’re not willing to try. Tell me älskling, what do you desire to explore?”

You licked your lips, growing nervous. You felt trapped by his stare, his eyes were daring you to answer. “Bondage,” you swallowed, “and discipline.”

“You want me to be harder on you, little one?” His hand moved from your shoulder to gently push your hair behind your ear.

You nodded, looking down at your hands.

He brought his hand under your chin, guiding your gaze back to his. His eyes were warm though there was a hint of mischief simmering beneath. “I can do that, my älskling. Is there anything else?”

An answer immediately came to you but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it out loud. You lightly shook your head.

“It is not wise to lie to me,” his expression darkened with his tone.

You bit your lip. “Anal,” you whispered.

He tilted his head, surveying you. “We’ll have to train you for that, little one. Have you done it before?” He gently brushed your cheek with his thumb.

You shook your head. “Never, Sir.”

“I’ll take my time with you, älskling.” He stood. “Now, let’s have you change into something lovely so we can get started.”

He led you to your bedroom and into your closet. You brought out a few options, laying them delicately on the island of the walk-in. Your heart raced as he considered each option, his gaze flickering back up to you before motioning to the white Lise Charmel set. Without another glance he strode out of your closet, leaving you alone.

You shakily pulled your sweater off, marvelling at how quickly he changed from Loki to your Sir. He demanded complete submission with the way he carried himself and spoke to you, dressing you down with just a gaze. You took a deep breath and slid off the rest of your clothes before slipping on the soft white lace.

You slid the garter up your thigh and took a look in the mirror. Fixing your hair you took one last deep breath before stepping out of the closet.

You were surprised to find the room empty. You turned around, puzzled, before you felt his firm form behind you, his warm hands firmly grasping your waist.

“Such a lovely little thing,” his breath tickled the shell of your ear and you shivered. “My lovely little thing,” he was closer now and pressed his lips against your neck, just below your ear. You breathed in a shaky breath, the feeling of his tongue against the sensitive spot making your head spin. He snaked his hands away from your waist and pulled away from you to circle you slowly, his eyes tracing your heated skin.

“What should I do with you, hm?” His tone was lush, velvety, and dripping with sin as he continued to move around you with his hands behind his back. You felt like his prey, tangled up in his very essence, entranced before he consumed you entirely.

He stopped in front of you, an eyebrow raised. “I asked you a question, älskling.” His jaw was pronounced as he reprimanded you, the look of his aristocratic face set in a scowl sent waves of heat to your core and your heartbeat hammering in your chest.

“I’m- I’m not sure, Sir. I’m sorry,” you stammered, feeling very much exposed in front of his fully clothed form.

He stepped back, his knuckle against his chin as he studied you. “On your knees. Hands behind your back.”

Your thighs clenched together before you bent down on shaky knees, resting yourself on your heels, your hands gingerly placed behind your lower back.

He circled you once more, his eyes on the floor. He stopped suddenly and moved his hand in an upward motion, materialising emerald green ropes on the ground beside you. His eyes met yours, his expression momentarily gentle as he nodded your way, as if to confirm his actions.

You gave him the tiniest of nods and his jaw set once more. He snapped his fingers and motioned with his hands, each finger curling upwards as the ropes followed suit, coiling themselves around your limbs.

You sharply inhaled as they moved around you, the soft feel of the shibari rope gentle across your sensitive skin. The ropes fastened themselves around your arms, winding several times before tightening so that your upper arms were held firmly together. They wound themselves around your chest, the green bright against the white lace of your bra, then your shoulders, fastening together at your back. Your legs were bound similarly to your arms, the rope finding its way between your thighs, though your legs were kept separate.

Once the movement stopped you looked up at Loki with wide eyes, your mouth open to accommodate you accelerated breathing. Your chest heaved under you, the ropes tightening against your skin, constricting your breathing in the slightest. The rope pressed up against the lace delivered the most delicious burn.

He continued to circle you, his eyes darkening as they traced the curvature of your skin against the cords, accented by the white of your lingerie. “I’ll ask you again. What should I do with you?”

“I don’t know, Sir.” You said, both the fabric and the ropes between your legs dampening as you trembled.

“Wrong answer, älskling.” Suddenly he gripped your arm roughly to pull you up and threw you on the bed, face down. Your legs dangled off the edge and you lost track of his position within the room, disoriented by the movement. You stayed there for a few moments, listening to the sound of your breath, straining to hear something that’d give way to his position.

After a few moments of silence you felt the glide of his fingers against your bottom, gently caressing the skin. You let out a breath, feeling your muscles relax into his open palm as he laid it against you.

Suddenly he lifted his palm and struck it against you, a sharp slap ringing out in the silence of the room. Your muscles clenched at the sensation, naturally pulling away from the strike as a whimper left your lips. His hand was in your hair, gently tugging at your roots and you felt him over you.

“Two more,” he said against your ear, forcing a shudder through you. He bit the skin of your earlobe and you cried out, your hips pushing against him.

He ran his tongue over the spot before tugging more sharply on your hair. “And don’t you fucking move.”

Your slick was hot between your thighs and your arms flexed against the soft rope as you tried to focus on your breath, willing your body to stay still.

Pulling back he ran his hand gently over the skin of your other cheek before delivering a sharp slap. Your muscles clenched ever so slightly in response, your heart falling as you realised you’d failed to obey his simple command.

He was back against you, his strong hand gripping your bound wrist. He sharply bit on the skin by your pulse and you cried out loudly, the pleasure and pain overwhelming.

“Good girls listen, don’t they?” You could feel the depth of his voice vibrating against your back as he spoke the words.

“Yes- I’m sorry, Sir.” You got out, your voice sounding small.

He bit the spot again, this time sucking against it harshly between his lips. You cried out pitifully, the ache between your legs almost painful.

“You’re still at two more,” he licked the spot. “No moving this time, älskling. Be my good girl.”

You nodded. “Yes Sir.”

He moved back off of you and quickly brought his hand down. You held your breath, willing yourself to stay still. You let out the breath slowly and felt the slick between your legs dampening more and more of the lace and rope.

“There we go. So much easier when you listen, isn’t it?” His voice was sweet in your ear, making your heart swell with pride.

“Yes Sir.”

He ran his fingers between your legs, against your wet heat. You inhaled sharply, unsure if you were allowed to move. “Poor thing,” his velvety voice was above you still.

“So wet for me. One more, älskling.” He brought his hand back over your cheek, squeezing the flesh. “Then I’ll you’ll feel so much better.”

You shivered though just your teeth knocked together, the rest of your body holding still. His hand came down to give you the hardest spank yet, the skin aching in immediate protest. You swallowed the pain but welcomed the pleasure, coming in warm waves through your core.

“Now before I turn you around,” his hand gently ran along the ties binding your arms. “Take a deep breath älskling.”

You obeyed, filling your lungs with air before gently releasing the breath. He must have dematerialised your panties since you could feel his fingers tracing the skin of your backside. His touch left you momentarily, only to come back with some sort of cool slick covering them. He moved them along your tight hole and you relaxed into his touch.

“Good girl. This may feel cold,” he replaced his fingers with a small chilly object, running it against the sensitive skin of your anus. You whimpered at the sensation, both excited and nervous at the idea of what would happen next.

As he traced the object against your backside his lips came to press kisses against your shoulder, giving you a little nip with his teeth now and then. You were drunk with lust, your breaths slow and laboured.

“Breathe out and relax,” he commanded as his warm hand came to rest on your lower back. You did as you were told, your muscles releasing with his touch. He pushed the thing within you, and it stretched your hole momentarily before your muscles took it in, the top of it stopping on the outside of your body.

“There’s my älskling.” He tapped the end of the object and you whined, the sensation shooting waves of pleasure through you. You didn’t feel uncomfortably full yet you could feel something within you, warming up as it was exposed to the heat of your body.

He kissed the shell of your ear. “So tight yet you hold that so well. My lovely girl.” He gripped your hips and helped you up before spinning you around and throwing you down on the bed, facing him as he stood at the end of the bed. He moved to climb atop of you, his body caging you in as he brought himself over you.

His eyes searched yours for a moment before he bent his head, capturing your lips with his own. He licked along your bottom lip before dipping into your mouth. You moaned as you brought your lips around his tongue. He pulled back and bit your bottom lip between his teeth, marring the flesh slightly before letting you go. He smoothed his tongue over your lip then came away to study you once more.

He slipped his hand down towards your heat, taking his time to gently brush against your skin, the rope and the lace along the way. He ran the tips of his fingers along your slit and you gasped as your muscles clenched, the thing within you moving ever so slightly.

He dipped his fingers against your folds, the wetness of your skin allowing him to easily glide his digits against you. Your back arched against him on the bed, the ropes straining against your muscles with the movement. His eyes slid down from yours, watching the swell of your breast taut against the rope.

“Does my pretty thing want to cum? Poor älskling,” he dipped to kiss you, “I can feel how much your body craves me.”

“Y-yes please Sir. Please touch me,” you panted, his teasing almost too much.

He gave you a filthy grin and dipped a finger within you, then moved to bring in another. You could feel your walls clench around him, the toy in your backside pressing ever so slightly against his knuckles when he curved them to press the spot deep within you. The sensation caused you to cry out, and you pressed your nails into your palm to hold your orgasm at bay.

“Are you going to cum, älskling?” He spoke as his hungry eyes flickered from your face to your heaving chest, the white lace covering your flesh constricting against the ropes.

“Yes Sir- I’m about to,“ you were cut off when he slipped his fingers from you. Your eyes pleaded with his as you swallowed, your arms shaking as they propped you up against the bed.

“Only good girls get to cum,” he spoke firmly. “And you have not been a good girl today.” His jaw was pronounced as he hovered over you before moving off of you, leaving you to fall back against your bound arms on the bed.

You felt like crying, or screaming, or both but settled for a deep breath to compose yourself as you stared up at the ceiling.

He chuckled. “My pretty girl, so upset.”

You smiled pitifully, biting your lip hard as you shook your head. “I’m sorry Sir.”

He grabbed you by the ropes binding your chest, pulling you up to sit on the edge of the mattress. He brought his hand to your cheek, gently brushing his thumb against your heated skin. “What am I to do with you, hm?”

You looked up at him, your eyes wide. “May I show you how sorry I am Sir?” You licked your lips while your eyes traced the outline of his erection in his dark pants.

He kept brushing your cheek as he came closer, and you gently kissed his clothed thigh, your eyes never leaving his. His eyes were warm pools of blue-green, though once you kissed directly over his clothed member his expression darkened. You proceeded to give open-mouthed kisses over his hardened length, running your tongue against the fabric.

His eyes were heavy-lidded as he watched you before he gently brought you away from his thigh, unzipping his trousers and freeing himself. You marvelled at his member, the smooth skin of it making your mouth water. You bent to press a very delicate kiss against the tip of him, the skin ever so slightly red in its current state.

You kissed him again, this time swiping your tongue across the very tip of him and he inhaled sharply. You brought your eyes back up to his then opened and took him all in, his breath hitching as you did so. His skin felt divine against your tongue, salty with the smallest hint of juniper. You kept your lips pouted as you bobbed and ran your tongue along him, moaning ever so slightly when he was farther in.

You kept your throat relaxed and took even breaths through your nose as you moved over him with your mouth. Your eyes were wide, innocent, as you observed him, willing him to grab your head and use you as he pleased. His chest was heaving while he watched you, his hand coming around to the back of your head.

You moaned and pushed back against his hand. He took the hint and brought both hands to either side of your face and began moving you over his cock. You hummed, your core dripping wet over your thighs while he took his pleasure from you.

“Do you like being used, little one?” He rasped, his pace steady. You nodded, your head moving against his movements. He clenched his jaw as he looked down at you, a thick muscle in his neck visible from your angle. “Do you like it when I fuck your mouth, älskling?”

You moaned around him in response, your eyes watering as he continued to hit a particular spot in your throat. He pulled his length from your mouth, giving you a moment to collect yourself. You quickly dipped your head and bent forward, bringing one of his testicles in your mouth and gently sucking. You wished you had a recording of the surprised, strangled groan he made in response, you were pretty sure it was the first time you’d truly caught him off guard and it had you dripping with wet. You could feel it beginning to pool around the edge of the toy still within you.

You continued to lap and suck at his testicles, chancing a look up at him you were struck with his dark, hungry gaze. His hand came to your shoulder, swiftly pushing you away from him and pulling you up before turning you around and bringing you down onto the bed so your face was against the comforter. He brought a pillow under your hips so your backside was raised off of the bed.

You felt the bed dip between your legs then the hot heat of his length against your slit as he rubbed his tip against you, gathering wetness. He tsked, “not much of a punishment when you’re this wet, is it älskling?”

You whined in response but held yourself still, praying he’d realise you were being a good girl and would let you cum this time. Your thoughts were interrupted when he slowly pressed himself within you, the toy and his length hitting similar angles and spaces within you.

He bottomed out and pulled you up against him, the new angle of his cock within you pressing up against the toy in your backside. Now it was your turn to release a strangled moan at the sensation, the feeling of it all completely overwhelming you. With one arm across your ribs, under your breasts and the other against your throat he set a steady pace as he thrust into you. His hand roughly pushed the cup of the bra down and his finger moved to your nipple. He rolled it in-between his fingers, forcing a throaty moan from your lips.

“Please Sir,” you managed to get out between thrusts, “may I cum?”

His breath was hot against your neck as he kept moving within you. “Not yet, älskling. I can feel that you’re close, your cunt is gripping me so tightly. I can feel the toy I put in you against me, within your tight little hole. Does it feel good, älskling? Do you like being filled?”

You shuddered at the sound of his velvety voice in your ear. “Yes Sir, it feels so good- I feel so… So full,” your head was spinning with the combined sensations.

“Good. Do you want to cum on this cock for your Sir, little one?” His fingers were still playing with your nipple, while the others that remained wrapped around your neck were tightening slightly.

“Yes, Sir! Please- please let me cum for you,” you begged, your fingers growing numb behind you.

“Good girl. All right my älskling, you may cum,” he pinched your nipple hard, “now.” He sucked on the spot behind your ear and you came instantly, crying out as the combined feeling of it all overpowering you. You could feel yourself moving against him as wave after wave of pleasure came, intensified when he licked and bit the same spot on your neck.

“Good girl, ride it out. There’s my good girl,” he murmured against your skin, his pace unrelenting. You came down from your high and he pulled himself from you. The ties around your arms were suddenly gone and he turned you back around, laying you on the bed so you faced him, your back propped on the same pillow as before.

He settled himself on his knees between your legs and fisted his member, his eyes taking in your form. “Touch yourself for me, älskling.” He commanded, his eyes heavy lidded as he did the same.

You licked your lips, “yes Sir,” then moved your hand down to your folds, gently playing with your clit as you watched him. You moved your hand to your uncovered nipple and rolled it between your fingers as you continued to play with yourself, the sound of your breathing filling the room.

“Do you want me to cum on your chest?” He asked, his expression sinful.

“Yes Sir, please- please cum on me. Please cover me in your cum,” you squirmed at your words, you could feel another orgasm building quickly.

“Are you going to cum again, little one? Are you going to make yourself cum with me?” He rasped, you could tell he was close and that thought excited you even more.

“Yes Sir- fuck! I’m going to cum!” You whined, your pace even with his strokes.

“Good girl. Cum now- with me,” his voice was strained as he met his finish, thick ropes of cum shooting across your chest. Upon feeling the warmth of his release against your skin, marking you, you let go, your back arching off the bed slightly as your muscles constricted.

You both panted, fully spent, slowly coming back to yourselves. You smiled at him then looked down at your chest- the green rope still tied beautifully, with thick lines of cum across the green cords, white lace, and your skin. You lay back against the pillow and brought your eyes back to his. “I think this is the prettiest I’ve ever looked.”

He nodded. “Absolutely lovely,” he gently ran his fingers along your cheekbone. His eyes fell to your chest and darkened slightly. “And all mine.”

Chapter 8 here.

End Note: Happy Loki eve!!! When you rethink on your "first and only rule" it's the no knife play from Chapter 1. Stay tuned for Chapter 8- not sure if it'll be out Saturday as I'm hoping to update Summer Wine this week too and 3 chapters is a lot for me to get through. Love you all and thank you for reading!!

Taglist (open!):

@fuck-is-going-on

@thehornytitty

[jimin-is-so]

This is the end, everyone. Thank you so much for following, liking, reblogging... but most of all, for making me feel understood and not alone in my 'strong feelings' (errr, let's put it that way, lol) towards this beautiful creature.

This edit is super special to me. I truly left the best for last, and I will tell you a little tale about the time I stumbled upon it.

I love to study astrology, and lately have dabbled with vedic (i.e. ancient Indian astrology). They have this concept that our lifetime is divided into great periods called Mahadashas that can last from 6 to 20 years; each of these 9 periods is influenced by a certain planet or position in our chart (such as Sun, Moon, Mars and so on).

Anyway, after studying my own chart I decided to take a look at the BTS boys'. I was surprised to see that, according to his chart, Jimin has just shifted from Rahu (north lunar node) period to Jupiter. He spent the last 18 years in Rahu dasha!

So I studied about this period and it's generally considered a difficult one, during which we are very driven, determined and even greedy to reach our goals and ambitions but are constantly stumbling upon hardships, sudden changes, enemies, mental confusion, gains and losses, etc. They say it's easy to get corrupted and driven insane during this time, letting our baser instincts take over us.

And I thought: 'Is this right? because even if Jiminie has always been pretty ambitious and driven, and even if his life has indeed been very challenging, I don't see a speck of corruption on him'.

But then I found out that actually all of these periods have specific challenges and all of them have a 'remedy', which is the energy/attitude necessary to go through the challenges and come out victorious at the end. And you know which is the remedy for the Rahu dasha?

Gratitude and generosity.

And I was like: wow, now this make sense! Because this boy has been through A LOT in past years, had many ups and downs, many challenges, a lot of mental hardships dealing with pressure, fame and criticism, also many conquests and victories... but he never forgot to give back - to his family, his teachers, his members and his fans. And the gratitude thing goes without saying. All the BTS boys express gratitude often, but Jimin really goes the extra mile, I think. Things like "our ARMY has won an award", that deep bow he posted a few months ago... he even thanked ARMY's parents for giving birth to them on his last vlive!

While I was learning all this, I stumbled across this edit and it was just... the perfect representation of Jimin's best qualities for me: generous, loving, genuine, bright, uplifiting... in fact, for all his fans, he is the remedy for their sadness and loneliness. Is it even possible to watch it and not be smiling all the time?

Because of these beautiful qualities, he inspires me every day and, in the end, I'm the one left feeling so grateful for his existence.

(btw, according to vedic astrology, he has just moved to his Jupiter mahadasha of 16 years, which is mostly expected to be a very auspicious period of honor, respect, wisdom and spirituality... i look forward to it!).

Anyways.... it might be the end of this blog, but let's save our tears for another day. As long as Jiminie is out there, shining bright... we all have a great reason to smile :)

-

Day 365 - Jimin is so giving.

[sumerun]

hi there!! your ayato gfx was absolutely stunning i stared at it for a good minute just processing everything!! i've always been interesting in dabbling in gfx but i'm tech noob at best, an idiot at worst. do you have any advice for someone looking to start out? like resources, software etc. thank you sm and have a wonderful day/night

hello, sweet anon! first of all, thank you so much for your kind words! :)

note: text-heavy!

PEP TALK?

before we proceed, i just want to preface that getting into gfx design can be extremely frustrating. it is a part of the arts and as anything relating to the arts, it takes time and a LOT of practice. you, yourself is the biggest critic of your own work and you're also learning 21612198 tools. you will want to tear your hair out. you might have to learn theories and concepts that traditional artists learn in class to improve your own work. that being said, it is also very rewarding and fun, hehe

so what i always say to someone who wants to get into gfx design is, to just have fun. make the things you want and don't stop making them. the more you make, the more you improve. you can always learn the essentials of gfx design ofc!! but it's kinda boring so use whatever fandom as the subject to make it more fun

SOFTWARE

so the most well-known program that it's used in gfx is adobe photoshop and illustrator (there's more but those are the main two). it is not free and you gotta pay a subscription. if you can't afford it, you can always pirate it. BUUUUT, there's nice, free alternatives out there such as: GIMP (app), Photopea (browser based). it doesn't have everything photoshop does, but it's a nice way to dip your toes in!

RESOURCES

- your best resource is literally youtube and google haha! there are so many good videos you can search up and you can follow along. this is risky imo bc you can spend more time watching than doing, which defeats my points above.

- behance is a platform by adobe where you can find some resources, tutorials, and portfolios of other artists. it is a HUGE source of inspiration for me. i go on that website like at least once a week lMAO.

- pinterest is also a website i peruse often for inspirations! but at the same time, i'm torn bc there's a lot of stolen work here. so just keep that in mind

- the iconic gif tutorial by anue and this gaming gif tutorial by senka (yyh) is a GREAT way to start gfx design tbh. you'll learn to mess around with various tools when you make gifs!

GENERAL + IMPROVEMENT TIPS

i really wish i can just tell you the topics and tools you should learn but there's so much that it can get overwhelming. so take it at your own speed:

- like i mention above, learn the fundamentals. this is gonna be boring but use your favorite subject to make it fun!

- ok hear me out but as a beginner: copy and emulate. there's a reason why artists do master studies. you learn how the old and new masters paint, analyze their techniques and apply them to your own. it's pretty much the same in gfx design. emulate your favorite designs, learn why they use the colors they do and why they placed a certain font there. try to remake your favorite posters that you've seen and ask yourself why did they do that?

but ofc this is strictly for studying! this does not mean should plagiarize and post the same poster, but ayato version or something LOL. the line between plagiarism and inspiration/homage can be blurry but you need to make sure you are using this chance to learn and develop your own style! :)

- write down your ideas! sketch them out! whatever is in your brain might come out completely different on paper. and that's natural! it just help to visualize things

- PEN TOOL IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. i use this shit for EVERY single project so know it like the back of your hand.

- keep your past works and use it for self-critiques or just to look back and see how far you've come

CONCLUSION

remember, it will suck for a little bit while you learn all the tools in your software. you might not be able to materialize your ideas bc you don't know how to do something. it's ok!! you will get there once you're more experienced. just keep making gfx and ask for critiques. you will learn a ton! or sometimes, just walk away and let your brain rest. sometimes, we make a better product when you let it sit for a bit.

you got this, anon :) shoot me an ask/DM if you need anything else!

[goodbysunball]

Bring it on home

Comparatively easy listening from the set of records showcased this time around, but there's a world of grief settin' your jaw to grind. You deserve a neck massage and a cocktail; lean into these after you put your misery rectangle aside for a spell.

Astute Palate, s/t (Petty Bunco)

Emily Robb, David Nance, Daniel Provenzano, and Richie Charles got together and hammered out this LP during "48 sleepless hours" in Philadelphia. It's definitely a fairly rough documentation, but if you know the players, that's generally what you'd be gettin' into with 'em anyway. Gotta admit that I'm not a huge fan of what I've heard by David Nance - respect his hustle, though - and the same goes for the tracks he leads here; in particular, the studied classic rock caterwaul employed on "Stall Out" basically rolls my eyes for me. I am, however, fond of David Nance the Guitarist and his heroics on "Stall Out," and "A Little Proof" definitely has me more curious about his recent solo work I've skipped. These are pithy grievances, though: the album rules, as a whole, but it's just hard to stomach some of Nance's lyrics when they're side-by-side with bonafide jammers like "Bring It On Home" and "Treadin' Schuylkill." "Bring It On Home," in particular, with its Velvets-inspired chug and Robb's bleary vocals coolly beckoning you to do as the title says, heats to a boil with the blustery, fried guitar interplay. For me it wipes the floor with anything else on the album, and pretty much anything else I'll hear this year, so let's put all my petty complaints aside and declare this the Summer of Astute Palate, OK? Looks like the secret's out - the LP's sold out from the source, but can be found hiding in various distros and shops. Hunt it down, crack a tallboy, and embrace the sweltering heat of our melting planet with Astute Palate.

Maraudeur, Puissance 4 (self-released)

New and best LP yet from Leipzig's Maraudeur, self-released with some of the best packaging/artwork I've seen in a minute. My memory's usually a bit faulty, but I recall the band being a three-piece on their last, still very good LP from Bruit Direct Disques. I'm inclined to think that the group's ranks have swelled to five anyway, since the sound here is a bit more bright and full, lots of different moving parts zipping and moving around, giving the crisp recording some effervescence. Compared to older songs like "Computer Dreams," Maraudeur sounds sharper, capable of backing up any threats rather than coming across as deflated and listless. Even the slower songs on Puissance 4, such as "Slow Dress," thrive on tension, guitar strings set to snap amidst the robotic/hypnotic vocals. The band seems to have located a sweet spot between the simmering minimalism of Household and the technologically damaged vision of Chrome, and "TWYWYS" basically sounds like a collaboration between the two groups. Guitars are used as window dressing, favoring instead synths and showcasing the chops of the rhythm section. "Face/Figure" and my favorite track "C'est Caché" are the best examples of Maraudeur's rhythmic foundation, but nearly every track causes inadvertent head bobbing. While accessible and familiar on the surface, Maraudeur's dry humor, the carefully camouflaged layers of sound, and whatever is going on in "I Am Here" keep boilerplate post-punk comparisons at bay. Puissance 4 is a refreshing, addictive brew from the not-too distant future, and probably a blast to experience live.

Astrid Øster Mortensen, Gro Mig En Blomst (Förlag För Fri Musik)

New Gothenburg talent alert! Mortensen is apparently a newcomer to the scene, and her debut LP fits in nicely amongst the Förlag För Fri Musik discography. Gro Mig En Blomst features lonely and debased late-night solo explorations with guitar, piano and what sounds like an accordion, accented by electronic manipulations and the found sound that accompanies most FFFM records. It's dreary and stark, and can quickly bring the mood down when it's on. For me the most obvious reference point is Grouper's Ruins, in that both are recordings so intimate that it feels like an interruption to move while it's on. But I also get bits of Picastro's Whore Luck ("Hvor Kommer Mørket Fra?" sounds like it was plucked directly from that album), and there are similarities to Chloe Alison Escott's solo work, on the title track and "Piano i" and "Piano ii." Gro Mig En Blomst is a far cry from more traditional singer-songwriter music, dabbling in Stars of the Lid-like drone on "Brud ii" and jumping into the "Is there a record on or...?" genre on "Solen Er Et Lille Hus" and "Brud i." I can't say I go out looking for records this fragile and surface-level bleak anymore, but Mortensen's work is more often beautiful and calming than hopelessly gray. Another keeper from FFFM, sure to be one of the most sought-after records from the label, and for good reason.

Nightshift, Zöe (Trouble In Mind)

Travel back in time with me, if you will, to a time when "indie rock" was a genre label that had some meaning. After getting rid of the bad taste in my mouth and shaking off the embarrassment at who I was when I largely listened to stuff that'd broadly fall under that label, I'll allow that Nightshift is making a strong argument for some of the music released during the comparative naiveté of the late '00s/early '10s. Across Zöe, you get shades of Broadcast, Lower Dens' Twin-Hand Movement, the UV Race ("Spray Paint the Bridge"), Belle & Sebastian and A Sunny Day In Glasgow ("Power Cut" and "Romantic Mud"). The trick to Zöe is that it folds all these reference points in neatly and places it on a sturdy percussive base. I won't argue that every song here is memorable, but they're all enjoyable, and the songs that hit - "Outta Space," the title track, "Infinity Winner" - send chills down my spine every time. Guitars are plucked and scraped for leading beats, accentuating shuffling drums and giving the bass the spotlight. The vocals are dreamy and lyrics direct, and for the duration of Zöe you're relieved of the pessimistic present and allowed to rigidly dance to Nightshift's hesitant groove. They've charmed their way through my cynicism, and Zöe's been on heavy rotation despite my reluctance. Take it for a spin, and fall under Nightshift's spell.

Hugo Randulv, Radio Arktis: Samlade Ljud Från Den Norra Polcirkeln (Förlag För Fri Musik)

First solo LP from Hugo Randulv, an active presence in the Gothenburg scene with his involvement in Enhet För Fri Musik, Skiftande Enheter and Amateur Hour, among others. Though typically a guitarist, on Radio Arktis, he drops the guitar and instead fills both sides with glacial synths and dusty samples. The label's original write-up for this record called it "grand ambient," though to me it sounds and feels much more personal than something that would soundtrack the Olympics. His use of samples, most notably on "Radio Reykjavik," sounds intimately tied with some fleeting memory, the music serving to enhance or exorcise the feeling tied to it all. It reminds me most of the Fun Years' "God Was Like, No" in that both records used the tools common to ambient/drone music but applied a much more personal touch, that certain nameless attribute that keeps drawing a listener back in. Can't put my finger on it, but both records just sound like they had to be made, rather than serving as a genre exercise or one-off exploration. I don't know that Radio Arktis is going to change anyone's life, but it could, and I've been hypnotized by its wordless, sparkling gray tones for weeks. Even though the "solo musician embraces synths" thing is usually pretty tired and pointless, Hugo Randulv's contribution shows why it's an alluring proposition at all.

Sunhiilow, Beyond the Cycle (Ikuisuus)

More solo synth, this time coming from Valerie Magisson and her Moog Mother-32. Magisson's Sunhiilow project veers into new age/ambient with its bite-sized kosmische explorations. There's something about the combination of the short length of these tracks and the sense of movement present within each that allows Beyond the Cycle to transcend the lifeless drivel that's usually tagged "new age" and "synth." It seems intentional that Magisson was trying to capture the mood of each track title in its corresponding music, and she is largely successful, though its unclear if the title provided direction or was applied afterward. The somewhat jarring introduction of "Wilderness Bloom" and the stoned growth of "Circle Motion" are my top picks, but the album works best as a whole and played very loudly, the overall effect immersing the listener into heady zones traversed by the Nightcrawlers. Leave it to Ikuisuus to release an "ethereal ambient music" record that satisfies, and sounds and looks great to boot. Sunhiilow's a lot more tame than most of what Ikuisuus releases, but it's an accessible, recommended starting point to one of the best active labels. HOWDY.