#i'm inclined to think its the latter that he likes to pass off as the former if ever confronted about it

[corferox]

also on the topic of link's swordsmanship : something i think is really fun is that link is STRICTLY a one-handed sword fighter, not sword AND shield. in story instances, he's only ever seen with a sword. and then when he IS fighting with a shield during gameplay, he's consistently making the beginner mistake of swinging the shield back when he strikes, rather than swinging the sword AROUND the shield he has equipped. he clearly seems to retain most of the muscle memory he had from 100 years ago, so i guess no one ever trained him out of it ?? or maybe the prodigal martial genius knows something i don't ? who knows. i do think it's funnier if he just hates shields so much that he never bothered to learn how to properly use one though.

[blackjackkent]

OK. I think I've hit the majority of the Underdark map. So we're going to head back topside and investigate the Waukeen's Rest place that @zenjestrr mentioned and then head for the mountain pass.

However, before we go, we're going to go ahead and knock Omeluum's quest item off the list, against Hector's better judgment.

I think this is another case, as all his most ill-advised ideas are, of his curiosity getting the better of him. An academic mind flayer is definitely strange and calls to the same part of him that the conversation with Lae'zel just now did as well.

And to be honest, he's been so afraid of everything for weeks now, so this other terrifying thing doesn't really stand out as much as it might otherwise.

"I greet you, sun child," it says to him. I'm not sure if it says this because he's from the upper lands or because he's a Selunite but either way it's an interesting way to open the conversation.

We have more questions available to ask here than I thought.

"How did you escape your colony?" he asks, mind-to-mind as they have spoken before.

The mind flayer's tentacles twitch thoughtfully. Then it shakes its head. "That is not a story I share with strangers," it says quietly.

You know what? Valid. In some ways Hector must be as strange to it as it is to Hector.

"How do you survive? Don't you need...brains?" Hopefully a less intrusive question, but who knows.

"In the beginning, I had an arrangement with a lich. Excellent company, despite what one would expect. I required brains, he required souls. A perfect symbiosis. But our ambitions eventually splintered. I wished to better the world, and he preferred its rot. So I left his company, and thus I now feed from those who...act against the Society's goals."

Hector shifts uncomfortably. The creature speaks very matter-of-factly about a method of killing and consuming that feels like an abomination. Then again...how different is it from Astarion telling him, equally matter-of-fact, that he will only drink from those they have to kill anyway? Indeed, Astarion's motives are far more practical than Omeluum's, as the latter seems to have a true driving motive beyond survival.

"Best way to deal with that sort of hunger, I suppose," he says warily.

The creature has no readable expression, but his thought-voice carries a note of a cool smile. "Perhaps the peoples of the Underdark will be less inclined to violence if they comprehend the cost, yes?"

Hector lets that one go without comment, steels himself, and then says, "I'd like to learn more about the tadpole."

(Karlach approved at this point, which leads me to believe this whole ordeal might have been partly her idea - she is, of their little group, probably the one most likely to have an open mind about it. And it also explains why Hector goes along with it, since he is starting to really value her opinion.)

Narrator: An almost childlike joy enters Omeluum's ichor-laced eyes.

"Open your mind to me, friend," the mind flayer says. "Let us see what lurks within."

Everything in Hector's body cries out to run away from this experience, but he steadies himself. After all - far better this than Volo's knitting needle, right?

Relax and allow Omeluum's mind to search yours.

Narrator: As Omeluum's mind pierces yours, the tadpole pulses with power. It feels ten times its size. Alive, awake. Almost smug.

The feeling is horrific, terrifying. He swallows a choked cry, stumbles backwards a step, feels Shadowheart's grip on his arm to steady him, the sudden surge of heat from an abortive move from Karlach stopped at the last minute. But then it's over. Omeluum's hands fall back to its sides and it looks at Hector with keen curiosity.

"This is most unusual," it says, and Hector can hear a deep intellectual eagerness in its resonant mental voice. "The incubation period should be complete, as should your transformation. But the larva is infused with strange magic. It appears to be in some sort of stasis."

This tracks with what they've heard before. Hector straightens up slowly, rubs at his temple, feeling the parasite begin to settle back into dormancy with a few remaining wriggles. "What happens if that stasis goes away?" he asks slowly.

"I can only theorize," Omeluum says placidly. "But I suspect your transformation would be both agonizing and instantaneous."

"I thought it was always agonizing, Omeluum," Blurg, the hobgoblin, puts in from behind him.

"Well, yes," Omeluum agrees. "But that wasn't my point."

Hector feels mildly ill. Every time they have someone investigate this thing, the image of the situation feels slightly worse. "Can you extract the tadpole?" he asks.

"No," Omeluum says bluntly. "It appears to be shielded from physical and magical influence. And even without the shield, the extraction would involve severe cranial trauma."

Oh. "That doesn't sound ideal," Hector says weakly.

"It is not ideal," Omeluum agrees. "The process would surely kill you. But not to worry. Should you transform, I will happily perform a new examination."

Hector looks at it closely for a moment. There is a deadpan note to the creature's mental voice that feels almost like black humor. He hadn't known mind flayers could joke.

He goes on to tell Omeluum and Blurg a little about the ship that kidnapped them and brought them here. Omeluum seems interested in this as well. "A nautiloid? Fascinating. I have never set foot on one myself. They were our warships during the greatest eras of the Illithid Empire. We ruled the entire Astral Plane from their decks. The design was lost when the gith rebelled and ended our dominion."

All of this has been interesting, but not particularly helpful. Hector starts to turn away - but Omeluum has an idea before he leaves.

"There may be a way to bypass that stasis. There are many alchemical substances that can influence the mind."

This doesn't seem like a great idea to Hector. "Isn't the stasis why the tadpole hasn't killed me yet?"

"I do not intend to shatter its protection," Omeluum says. "I need only bypass the interference that prevents me from communicating with the larva."

"Bypass?" Hector says cautiously. "What kind of alchemy are we talking about?"

"A tincture distilled from a collection of rare mushooms. They have subtle psionic influence. I would require a fresh tongue of madness and timmask spores. But be warned - in their natural state, both of these mushrooms can be quite dangerous. Timmasks cause confusion in those that approach them. The tongue is...self-explanatory."

In a horrific sort of way, it feels like he is a little boy again, discussing potions with the herbalist back at the monastery and bringing him the plants he gathered while running about the hills nearby. "I think I already have what you're looking for," he says - and indeed in their journeys he has already gathered bits of both mushrooms.

Omeluum eyes the samples he offers and nods slightly. "These are fine specimens. It will only take me a moment to brew them to proper potency."

Narrator: Omeluum turns away to prepare the potion, lost in its own musings.

"You must drink the entire draught. I can make no promises as to its taste."

Hector squints at the slightly smoking potion vial Omeluum hands to him. "What exactly is this going to do to me?"

"It will lower the psionic defenses around the larva. If I cannot remove it, I may still be able to tell you more about its origin."

(The insight check that Hector just biffed at this point is mildly concerning.)

Hector stares at the potion again for a long moment, then glances towards the others behind him. Karlach gives him a slight nod, and Gale is watching the proceedings with intense interest. Shadowheart's expression is unreadable.

Drink the potion.

Narrator: [CONSTITUTION] The potion is disgusting beyond description. The only mercy is that it goes down quickly.

Omeluum nods approvingly. "Not a drop left. Very good. As the potion influences your mind, you may find yourself acting irrationally. Try and stay focused."

Hector feels bile climbing into his mouth as he dry heaves, trying to keep the potion down. Every muscle in his body is tense as he concentrates through a sudden wave of dizziness.

Narrator: The world loses its edges, its finer boundaries. You are fluid, but trapped, like a creature suspended in amber.

[MONK][SAVING THROW] Use meditation to clear your mind.

Narrator: Drawing on a lifetime of practice, you center yourself. Your body is an anchor, implacable and calm. The tadpole spasms, seizes. It's fighting the potion even harder than you are. Fear pierces through your mind like knives of ice. The parasite digs deeper, as if it means to hollow out your skull.

Hector lets out a moan of terror and pain, falling to his knees, clutching at his skull. An inarticulate prayer crosses his lips, calling to Selune for aid, for comfort, instinctually.

[CLERIC][SAVING THROW] Call to your god for protection.

Narrator: The cold blades lose their edge. You are stalwart, turning that tide of fear against itself. The parasite swells with power - more power than you have ever felt before. It surges and twists, lashing out against that which would dare to intrude.

Dimly, Hector can hear Omeluum cry out in pain. The mind flayer staggers back as if struck. The agony in his head is overwhelming. And then...it begins to fade.

Narrator: The parasite in your mind quiets, pleased with itself.

For a long moment there is silence, Hector and Omeluum both breathing heavily, the others looking on with concern and fear. Finally Hector looks up and finds the mind flayer looking at him with an expression that is distinctly unnerved even in the inhuman face.

"That larva is like nothing I have ever observed before," it says, somewhat unsteadily. "Its power is...unsettling."

"You were supposed to make it weaker, not stronger!" Hector rasps out, staggering up to his feet again and swaying.

"You have my deepest apologies," Omeluum says, and though its voice is still placid, Hector can hear the regret in it. "The larva did not care for my intentions."

Hector closes his eyes, tries again to find the equilibrium that served him against the tadpole itself. To let the anger and fear go, or at least return to its usual simmer in the back of his mind. "So I went through all this and the tadpole's still lodged in my brain?" he asks evenly.

Omeluum did not have a particularly good answer at this point, though he was willing to sell us a ring of mind-shielding for a fairly reasonable price. I actually feel a little bad taking it since he said it was his protection against Elder Brains, but he's a smart cookie and presumably wouldn't offer it if he didn't have any other options.

Shadowheart and Omeluum both have rather uninspiring comments to end the conversation.

Shadowheart's is sardonic. "That thing better work. If it doesn't...I doubt you'll be in any position to complain."

Omeluum's is ominous. "Of course, the larva remains. Be ever-vigilant of its growth."

[snorkling-in-sodasea]

Moments of Stupidity

What I mean is, I feel like listing all the instances I can think where a character does something stupid, whether it be their natural inclination to be or just taking a turn holding the stupid stick. By the time Oops rolled around, I wasn't at all upset by the characters' stupidity because, around the time Exes and Oohs came around, I learned that Helluva Boss is one of those universes where plots only happen because everyone is naturally an idiot. The degrees of which are varying but most, if not all, the plots happen because someone's a moron.

And like I said, I feel like doing this so why not? So whatever examples I can think of as I recall the whole series by far, I'll list here. Now for those who have this seriously favorite character of theirs - which is bound to be everyone, especially those who give some of their time to read this list - sorry if they end up on this list. But please remember that I'm in the belief that Helluva Boss is an universe full of idiots and that the only true difference is the varying degrees of it. So that means even my favorite characters aren't exempt from this list and I'll put the examples of stupidity when I come across it in my head. And what are my standards of stupidity, at least in this case? Instances of someone doing or saying something that leads to consequences that could have been avoided if they just had common sense and/or information that should have told them the more sensible thing to do or say but didn't because it's clearly shown that they weren't inclined to using a fucking braincell (And yeah, I know that Viv and her writers are in control over how stupid the characters are but I believe my point still stands. If someone doesn't want others to say shit about them, then that someone shouldn't do shit so stupid that it gets others to say it)

And I think I'll post it one episode at a time. That way, it'll be easier for me, especially when I'm posting late at night because that's usually when I do it, and because new episodes of Helluva Boss will come out and I'd have to make another post anyway. Seriously, if I'm hearing right, then another episode of Helluva Boss is already going to come out on Halloween. Finally, I think I'll either save the pilot for later or even pass on doing it since, as far as I know, pilots to shows aren't really canon. Haven't decided yet. Finally, please let me know if I missed any instances of stupidity because I'm just going off on memory and I don't love the show enough to go back and rewatch episodes

Anyways, without further ado...

Murder Family -

No one putting fire safety procedures or even just any safety procedures on the book. You'd think that if Blitz cared so much about getting screwed over in the worst way possible, then he'd make sure it's for sure safe in wherever it's kept. And yeah, I'm feeling that Blitz didn't do that when demanding if 'the fancy book is still intact'. As in, it sounds like there was a chance that the Grimoire could have been destroyed in the fire and Blitz knew it. So it was probably just lucky that Loona. Maybe it's slightly better that Blitz kept the Grimoire in the safe but, as Seeing Stars shows, it's its own moment of stupidity. (Which I'll get to in due time)

Blitz happily telling Moxxie that they're gonna ruin a family rather than killing a family. I guess this example isn't as bad as blatant examples latter down the line but it still resulted in his softer-hearted employee to intervene. All because Blitz is fully expecting Moxxie to be as cold as him. So it's still understandable given that Blitz is bound to not know the exact details of Moxxie's mother - that already giving Moxxie a reason to care so much about a family being ruined even if he was as cold-hearted as his boss - but I'm pissed off that Blitz at no point even thinks that it was his fault that they were in that mess and keeps pinning the blame entirely on Moxxie. Seriously, if Blitz didn't happily gloat about how they're going to ruin a family, then Moxxie wouldn't have interfered with the shot. What makes this a little stupider is that Blitz should have known Moxxie well enough by then since they apparently met each other in jail and broke out together. Meaning that Blitz should have known well enough that Moxxie isn't as cold as him or at least not enough to enjoy the thought of ruining a family. Because yeah, Millie was all 'if that's what the clients want' due to professionalism so it made a difference when it came to Blitz's attitude on the matter; I was able to tell that he liked the idea. (Which is seriously messed up given the episode Oops now that I think about it). Even if Blitz didn't know a single damn thing about Moxxie other than his name, Moxxie acted clearly enough that he didn't like the idea of killing a family so why would he find it better to ruin one? Yet Blitz just keeps up the anticipation over doing that like it wouldn't cause Moxxie any distress

Moxxie messing up the shot. Same thing as above example, it's understandable, especially when you get the context, but it still led to the family of Satan-worshipping cannibals to go after Moxxie, his wife, and his boss. If an action brought on by impulse and/or emotion leads to disastrous results, as stated above, then I'll be hard-pressed to call it smart. Blitz is to blame but just by half or at least partially. I can't ignore that Moxxie did mess up the shot and got them discovered by the crazy-ass family and put them all in danger

Blitz for fucking confirming to Martha when she gets the idea to just shoot him and Millie. Just because the fire didn't hurt you didn't mean you were invulnerable to fucking dying in general. Especially according to Viv who says that imps are just as vulnerable as living humans when it comes to dying and to just as many things (as much as she's being inconsistent about how she writes her characters and her show) Just because Martha would have thought of another way to kill you off when she inevitably discovers that the fire doesn't work, as well as her husband no doubt going to help brainstorm in permanent killing solutions, doesn't mean you had to confirm that shooting you will work. If Millie actually bothered calling you out, then it's a stupid move. Moxxie put you in that situation but you definitely didn't have to add more fuel to the fire, especially if your employees - with one of them right there with you and in just as much danger as you - is supposed to be so fucking important to you

Oh, and let's not forget the fucking phone. Blitz didn't put his phone on fucking vibrate. Considering that, in the human world, with his two field employees with him, there'd be no one but Loona to call or to be called by. And just because Blitz never expected to be running for his life. He's supposed to be an assassin. As in, no one's supposed to see him or notice him. As in, Blitz isn't supposed to be drawing attention to himself. So why the fuck would he not even put his phone on vibrate? That way, he'd just feel someone calling him instead of broadcasting his location to anyone and everyone who can hear it. And in the case of Murder Family, that includes a serial killing, Satan worshipping cannibal who's trying to shoot him dead. It's just that, in the dangerous situation that Murder Family provided, not putting the phone on vibrate became even stupider

Let's not forget Stolas now that I think about it. Yeah, he's incredibly selfish and self-centered for calling Blitz for transactional fucking when the imp is in the middle of trying not to get shot. He's still stupid because, if getting imp dick was so important to him, then he should have known that distracting Blitz in a survival situation like trying not to get shot could result in him DYING. Unless Stolas is gonna bring Blitz back from the dead or just outright perform necrophilia, then that horny owl won't get any transactional fucking whatsoever!

I'll probably include Mayberry, too. After all, she was completely overrun with emotion that overrode common sense when finding out that her husband was cheating. She never at any point turned off the computer, not before she left the school and especially not before shooting herself, especially if Mayberry is gonna act like her students are precious to her. Although I said I'll 'probably' include Mayberry because her actions have been inherently selfish. When she left the school, she thought about getting revenge to satisfy herself, well, she never thought of turning off the computer so that the kids wouldn't have to see it. Then Mayberry realizes what she did and she still never turned off the computer before committing suicide, which just traumatized the kids even further than what the teacher would have wanted. So maybe Mayberry genuinely loved and cared about her students but got so emotional that she lost common sense concerning the computers and her students, which would make it stupid. If not, then the concern for the students' mental well-being was just a facade and the only stupid thing she did was still not turning off the computers so that she wouldn't have witnesses and so wouldn't feel the need to kill herself to escape being convicted (okay, so I did still find a stupid moment in there)

(And yeah, I bitched on Blitz far more on Moxxie. There's probably favoritism, at least partially, but all this still seems and feels pretty damn logical. Besides, it does help my opinions on my most favorite that Moxxie took responsibility for his goof-up, complete with apologizing, while for my least favorite, it only hurts when Blitz fucking pinned the blame entirely on Moxx and threatened to rape him and Millie for another screw up. Besides, this is just the first episode of the series proper. I'm sure everyone will take a turn in being an idiot, and in large quantities)