#i'm in a depressy emo mood ok let me think about my boy

[hoenn-pride]

As someone who has felt like they've failed or lost dreams and had to rebuild themselves, I think a lot about Grusha.

I think about how it's implied Grusha's injury was a big deal. That it was a public thing. There's an article in the school library about a big competition coming up, and Grusha - second-best snowboarder in the world - will be competing. Everyone was waiting to see how he'd perform.

I think about how they're very specific to note that Grusha is the second- best.

He likely felt like he was up and coming. He likely felt like the world was at his fingertips. Even if he wasn't the best- the best, he was good. Really good.

And if he kept going, one day, he would be the best.

Maybe it frustrated him to no end to be compared to someone else. Maybe it killed him to always be called second-best. Maybe he was determined to break himself out of that and make a name for himself all his own.

And then for it all to get cut off so suddenly, so abruptly, out of something that was so clearly out of his control.

So loudly, so tragically, so publicly,

in front of everyone who came there to watch him compete. Maybe for the title of no longer being second-best.

I think about how he likely never wanted to touch a board again. How it likely made him sick and angry at the snow. The mountain. How even the best well-wishes from his biggest fans likely made him sick. To relive the shame and humiliation all over again.

To feel like everything you ever worked for got ripped away from you so suddenly, due to things so beyond your control.

And how his gym is alone on Glaseado Mountain. How being a gym leader seems to be now the only thing he has. And he doesn't feel like he's any good at that, either. How ice is notoriously a pretty vulnerable type as it is.

And yet, he's still the Ice-Type gym leader. He keeps going back to the snow.

How when you invite him over as a special coach at the academy, he starts talking about the Polar Biome. How he checked out the mountain again.

And how he picked up a snowboard. And even if he was embarrassed to admit it, he started to ride again.

Not the same, no. It might never be the same. Sports injuries can alter your life, alter your entire body, forever. He likely can never compete again.

But I think about him, and I hope life gets new purpose for him. Even if, due to his injury, his life may never be quite the same. Never quite what it was.

I hope he can find a different happiness. Even over the ruined pieces of the dream he once loved.