#i'm honestly so sorry that ariel is a Fucking Mess

[mackayari]

❛  when you were little you held your mother’s favorite glass figurine in your fingers & you loved it so tightly that you snapped it in your palms & since then you’ve let go of beautiful things before you get around to breaking them. ❜

have you been re-introduced to ARIEL MACKAY? last we heard, the HALFBLOOD was most familiar with TIMELINE ONE. I don’t recall if they were always a SLYTHERIN, but I’ve heard the SEVENTH YEAR is still AMBITIOUS, LOYAL, INGENIOUS and CRUDE, RECKLESS, BLUNT, so that’s familiar. at least SHE remembers her way around the castle.

character parallels: rebecca bunch (crazy ex-girlfriend), eleanor shellstrop (the good place), gina linetti (brooklyn nine-nine), shane madej (buzzfeed unsolved), annie landsberg (maniac), maeve wiley (sex education) aesthetic: bottles of whiskey stashed beneath a mattress, the mess of a home the morning after a party, lacy red lingerie, neon signs lighting up a dark room, boisterous laughter sounding from the bedroom, cherry red lips sucking on a lollipop links: stats, pinterest triggers: parental death, substance abuse, bipolar disorder, suicide attempt

ariel mackay never knew her father. in fact, her mother ( isabelle mackay ) isn’t even quite sure who the man is. the late fifties proved to be a tough time for poor old isabelle mackay, and it resulted in excessive alcohol consumption, a string of one night stands, and eventually the birth of her one and only daughter, ariel winter mackay, on april 3rd, 1960, when she was only twenty years of age. if they were to ever investigate, they would indeed find that ari’s father was a famous pureblood wizard, thus making her a half-blood, as issy is a muggle.

ariel’s childhood was fun, but at the same time kind of rocky. i mean, issy didn’t have any family left, she was a single mum in the early sixties working a part-time secretary job and she had no idea how to raise a child. ari and issy spent a lot of time with issy’s friends, who became like aunts to ariel and allowed her to grow up surrounded by strong, independent women.

but ariel had a bit of a troublesome streak. it seemed as though chaos and destruction followed her everywhere she went, and it caused her to jump from school to school until she’d eventually been expelled from eight primary schools by the age of eleven. issy could not understand what was wrong, she couldn’t explain certain things that happened around the little blonde girl because they were seemingly unexplainable, and she was starting to grow seriously worried until a tall woman with a big hat knocked on their door and introduced the mackay family to the world of magic.

ariel was honestly ecstatic to go to hogwarts. she’d always known that she was different to the other kids, that she was special, and this only went on the prove it. and now, surrounded by other kids the same as her, maybe she could finally find a place that she fit in - a place that she could call home.

she was sorted into slytherin after a minute of the hat sitting on her head, and at first she slotted right in with the rest of her housemates. they were all just as fun, ambitious and intelligent as her and she was excited to find a place that she belonged. but slowly she started to notice that still she was being treated differently - there was something about her that had other kids turning their noses and left her unable to befriend many of her housemates for the pure reason that they wouldn’t talk to her. the first time she was called a mudblood, she cried for days - she’d expected hogwarts to be welcoming and instead she was still that weird kid that everyone wanted to avoid.

of course, as she grew up, it became obvious that not everyone hated her. she started to hang out with more of the gryffindors in her year and sought out the people who weren’t disgusted by her ambiguous ( ‘tainted’ ) lineage. moving through her first, her second, her third year, she became quite popular amongst the student body, and her fun-loving, easy-going attitude attracted many boys and girls who wanted to befriend her.

a small hiccup arose in her third year, when a pattern of violent, depressed and manic behaviour began to show in her every day life. at the tender age of fourteen, ariel was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and at age fifteen was prescribed lithium in order to keep it in check. her tendency for manic episodes meant she had to tone down on her usually adventurous nature and had to keep a check on how many people she surrounded herself with - too many and she could be sent over the edge. though she was still widely popular and incredibly fun to be around, she wasn’t known to have many close friends and was sometimes noted to disappear for days without explanation and return as if nothing has happened.

DEATH TW: everything was all pretty smooth sailing for miss mackay until a few months before the end of her fifth year, when she received a letter detailing the horrific death of her mother, isabelle mackay, at the hands of a drunk driver.devastated could hardly begin to describe how ariel felt — it was as if her whole world was crumbling around her. her mother, her one true rock throughout all the pain and misery and heartache of her life was gone and now she had no one.

SUICIDE TW: after the death, ariel fell into a deep depression into which no one could pull her out. for a while she relied on substance abuse to even keep her going, but after coming close to suffering from alcohol poisoning, she moved off it and instead completely isolated herself from everyone around her and allowed herself to fall deeper and deeper into her own depression. over the winter break of her fifth year, during which she had moved to her mum’s friends place in dublin, ariel finally completely broke and attempted suicide. of course, she was not successful, but after spending months in the hospital after this attempt, she finally spoke to a professional and started on the slow and bumpy road to recovery.

alycia ( her mum’s friend and now ariel’s caregiver ) was reluctant to allow ariel to return to hogwarts after the traumatic few months they had endured, but after much begging on ariel’s part, she finally relented. returning to hogwarts for her sixth year, it was clear that ariel was all but a different person. once the life of the party, the sassy and adventurous and fun-loving girl of her year, ariel was now much quieter and a lot less adventerous. she was still ever so dependent on alcohol and still talking to a psychologist within hogwarts ( as was requested by alycia ), and though it was clear that ariel mackay was all but a different person, she was trying her very best to once again be happy.

and then it happened --- and everything was suddenly a thousand times worse. a battle caused by a war that ariel had never been exposed to, her mind torn into a body that had experienced things she’d never even dreamed of. at first, it wasn’t even obvious to her ( alycia was still alycia and ariel was still ariel ) but when she started receiving letters from a girl she’d hardly spoken to in the year below her claiming to be her ‘best friend’, she knew that something was up. and now, she’s terrified; terrified because she knows she has to do something, even when she hardly has a grip on what’s going on. she’s muggleborn and proud ( at least to her knowledge ) and the knowledge that that could get her killed in this universe makes her sick to her stomach. she wants to fight --- to do something. she just doesn’t know what that something is yet... 

[sinnersandsaints-linwrites]

NOOOOOOOOOO THAT LAST ASK😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 as a continuation, how would the RO's react to the MC coming back later after taking a breather(maybe when it was nighttime or something and the RO(s) is/are resting) and silently climbs into bed and cuddles into the RO(s), whispering apologies into their ear(s) for what happened a couple hours prior????

oh anon I'm afraid I'll break your heart even more with this

TW as this is also heavy (can't give any specifics honestly, it's just very depressing)

Roan is curled up in their bed, desperately trying to fall asleep even though their brain won't let them. It produces infinite scenarios of you breaking up with them instead, or disappearing from Deadwood without a word. They wouldn't blame you if you did -- after all they were the ones to hurt you first, to fail you when they promised to keep you from harm.

When you come into the bed, they don't even notice it at first, and flinch at the sudden contact before melting into it. Tears fall from their eyes again, as they desperately cuddle into you, hiding their face in your neck.

"I should be the one apologising, [Name], I was horrible I-- I hope you can forgive me," they sob.

.

Morgan falls asleep in the mess of their bed, surrounded by the mix of pillows and blankets. Their face is pressed into the fabric of one of your shirts, as their fist clenches on the bedsheet. Their face grimaces in their sleep and you realise that they're having a nightmare.

Your touch wakes them up, and they groggily look around the room, confused before their eyes land on you. Whatever distress followed them from the nightmare -- it's gone, replaced by the very real sadness caused by you. Or, rather by them, as Morgan takes all the blame in their mind.

"Shouldn't I be the one apologising?" They mumble, leaning into your touch. They can't help but feel like they're doing something forbidden by accepting comfort from you.

.

Khari is restless as they lay in bed. Their fingers grasp and move over their bracelet, but it barely does its job to calm them down. No, they need something more, but they can't quite think what exactly. Their brain won't let them rest, screaming instead about every possible scenario how that situation could've gone if Khari just held their tongue for a second more, if they actually thought before opening their mouth.

The sound of your footsteps makes them sit up, and they stare at your feet -- then hands -- as you move closer. With a nod, they allow the touch, and finally they feel like they can breathe again. The thought that they became so dependant on you being there terrifies them.

"Don't," they cut you off in your apologies. Their voice seems even more hoarse than usual. "I fucked up. I'll do better. I'm sorry." They mumble out into your shirt, fidgeting with the fabric of it.

.

Sage has successfully ruined three other bedrooms while you were away. Feathers from the pillows flying everywhere, vases shattered, furniture ripped into pieces. Further destruction was only halted by their dogs whining, distressed by their owner's state.

They lay down to bed, and allow for one of the dogs to nuzzle under their arm as they do, but sleep does not come to claim them. They are awake when you step into the room, and the pitbull growls lowly as you come closer, showing its teeth in the process.

Sage taps one of their fingers on the dog's muzzle, and the animal immediately calms down, jumping off the bed. Rennis' face is completely blank -- void of emotion -- even as the charming grin appears.

"Whatever are you apologising for, love?" They tilt their head. "That was insignificant. No need to dwell on it."

.

Ariel isn't asleep. They wouldn't be able to shut off their brain after such a day, they'd much rather throw themself into work in all honesty. Let their blades taste fresh blood, or snap something in their bare hands. Only reason why they ended up in bed instead, is because they wanted to wait for you to apologise. Their feelings be damned, they needed to make sure you were okay.

As soon as you step into the room, their regretful eyes are on you. They allow the hug -- and lie to themself that it is only for your sake, and they don't need it -- and run their hand over your back.

"Do not apologise, [Name], you've done nothing wrong." They say gently, trying to keep the hurt from their voice, as they gather the mental strength to do what they've set to do. "It is me who should apologise. I hurt you, broke my promise. It would do well if we... kept our distance, for days to be. I am not in my best mind, and I can't bare the thought of hurting you again."

.

Riven is asleep when you come into the room. They look so small, curled up on your side of bed, hugging a pillow like a child would with a stuffed toy after a nightmare. There are rips on the fabric where they pulled too much -- and whimpers escape from their lips as they dream.

Your touch startles them awake, and they flinch. You can see how their eyes are red and puffy from crying, lips bitten from likely trying to suppress any unwanted noises.

They stare at you with a mixture of fear and immense sadness, and they lower their gaze in shame, as they listen to your voice, barely relaxing under your touch. "You deserve better than this," they rasp out, their voice strained. "You deserve so much better, [Name]."

.

Sasha doesn't sleep -- they are a vampire, they don't need sleep -- but they desperately want to. They want their brain to shut down, their thoughts to stop, all the noise in their head to quiet down for once. They wish they could just, stop existing for few hours, like humans do when they sleep.

They know the exact moment when you step into the room, and count each one of your breaths -- each time your heart beats in your chest -- trying to calm themselves down before the inevitable happens.

But you hug them instead. They're confused. They were sure you'd yell at them, throw them out, maybe even drive them out of town -- but you apologised instead.

"Why?" they utter out, bewildered. "I was the bad one-- You shouldn't be apologising to me, I am sorry." They mumble quietly.

.

Ariel + Sage

Sage is careful to watch both you and Ariel, as you stand in the room. It's hard to decipher whether they are there to mediate, or watch the chaos unravel. Whether they are there to simply observe, or to keep your relationship from imploding. Ariel takes a deep breath, and gives you an honest, apologetic look. "I am deeply sorry, [Name]. I did not mean anything I've said. I understand if you need time, or space, but... I want to fix this. I want to work for your forgiveness."

.

Khari + Morgan

Morgan drags Khari to you way before the nighttime. They stand between the two of you, and gesture for Khari to speak first. And Lortnoc does, not meeting your eyes, fidgeting with their bracelet. "I am sorry, [Name]. I did not mean what I said, but it doesn't make it less hurtful. You didn't deserve that. It won't happen again."

.

Sage + Ariel

Sage follows Ariel with the face of a child called before the Headmaster for causing trouble in class. When they find you, Ariel gently pushes Sage towards you, nudging them to start talking. Sage clears their throat, clearly out of their depth. "I regret the words I've said. I hope you'll find it in you to forgive me."

.

Morgan + Khari

Khari is quick to find you, and pushes Morgan in front of you with determination on their face. 'Make up' their eyes say, even though they keep silent. Morgan looks sheepishly at you, while fumbling with their fingers. "I... I'm sorry, [Name], I didn't mean that, I swear." They are not good with words, but they're trying.

thank you for the ask! <3