#i'm having to look at fostering options which breaks my heart but literally what other choice do i have
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beaft · 7 months ago
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they say it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a poor man to enter the housing market
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xxkellsvixen19xx · 6 years ago
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Forget Me Not Jim Mason x Reader 50 First Dates AU Pt 2
@michael-langdon-appreciation
Y/N couldn’t look away.
The blue eyes were part of it-the only thing familiar on Jim. Even they seemed slightly different, though, as she’d never seen him stare back at her with quite that expression before.
The one that said he was a split second away from swooping in to protect her. Which she might have liked the idea of in principle, but right now, no way.
After two months of having people walk on eggshells around her, she did not need another babysitter. Especially not Jim. Her own big brothers were more than enough of a pain in the patootie. Having the guy who turned her insides to sexual jelly acting all sympathetic and concerned-
Nope.
She wanted him looking at her with a grown-up expression, not as if she were delicate china. Even if currently she was concentrating very hard to stay vertical and not dash back to the bathroom.
Stupid stomach flu.
Another wave of dizziness struck. "Jim-this is fun and all, but I need to call it a night.”  Jim blinked before straightening, the entire solid package of male shifting awkwardly toward the door. Like he was hesitating between reaching for her or following her request.
She slipped past him and caught the doorknob, swinging the door open so she could use the solid frame as an anchor to keep herself vertical.
"Okay. I'll go." He paused. "You need anything?"
Y/N clutched the door harder. "Twenty-four hours' shuteye, but thanks for asking." Jim paced forward reluctantly. "I hope you’re feeling better soon."
She lasted until he was in his truck before she locked the door and raced for the bathroom. Classy. Elegant. Way to impress the guy. She couldn’t muster the strength to feel embarrassed. Crawling into bed after she'd rinsed her mouth was the only thing on her mind.
Although the feverish dreams she had that night of Jim Mason doing dirty things to her were a lovely distraction.
Two mornings later the flu was still hanging on, though the nausea was no longer a 24/7 thing. With the fresh taste of toothpaste lingering on her tongue, Y/N strolled into her living room.
Medina had taken up residence on the couch, feet propped on the coffee table. "Sick again?" she asked.
"Duh." Y/N lowered herself gingerly into a chair. "You're the master of the obvious today. Stupid flu bug will not let go of me."
A pale pink box flew across the room, and Y/N caught it instinctively.
"If I’m the Queen of obvious, then you’re my lady in waiting. Flu, shmuu."
She twisted the box toward her, reading out loud. "First Hint. The early pregnancy detection- Hokey spit.Medina."
"If the morning sickness fits ..."
Protests at this point were futile, but there were other more important issues. "Please tell me you didn’t buy this at the local Safeway."
"You think I'm stupid?" Medina folded her arms across her chest. "I was in CVS Pharmacy yesterday. No one we know anywhere around, and yes, I looked. Now go pee on the stick so I can tell you I told you so."
The whole idea was stupid.
Impossible.
But...
The twinge of doubt at the back of her brain was enough to tip Y/N into caving. "Stay here,” she ordered. "I don't need supervision."
Her friend had already opened the box and pulled out what looked like a small stir stick. She held it forward. "Have a ball." Medina retreated enough to give Y/N a moment’s privacy, but she had to admit it was kind of nice to have her there as they stared at the stick lying on the counter.
"If that thing let off a bang about now, I bet we'd both scream loud enough they'd hear us in Winterfell,” Medina quipped.
Y/N looked away for a moment to brace herself. If it was positive, what then?
Pregnant.
On top of everything else?
"How could I be pregnant, Medina?"
Medina held the stick in the air, the two pink positive lines clear and bold. Undeniable.
"Fuck." Y/N leaned on the bathroom door, working to calm her breathing. "Okay, I can deal with this. It's not the end of the world. It's ..." Bursting into tears was the last thing she’d intended, but it happened. A moment later she was being supported by Medina’s firm hug. Petted and coddled all over again like her brothers had been doing for the past two months, but this time she wanted the pampering. At least for a few minutes.
When she pulled herself together, Medina handed her a fresh wad of tissue to replace the set she'd ravaged. Y/N wiped up the last of her tears. "Thanks for being a brat and bringing me the test."
They shuffled awkwardly for a moment before Medina sighed. "Not much use hanging out here unless you want me to try to break into your passwords on the computer again."
"That’s not important right now. I have other things to worry about." Y/N groaned. "And now that I know why I'm sick, I guess I'll find some ways to feel better."
"Rest. More vitamins." Medina nodded. "I'll do some research."
One great big secret that was only going to get bigger. Literally bigger. Y/N wandered into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea while she considered. There was a person growing inside her. She tossed a piece of bread into the toaster, staring out the window as the timer  clicked down, the noise echoing in the silent house.
A baby.
click. click. click.
It was clear. She was going to be a mom.
Now the mystery was...would there be a dad or not? That one wasn't nearly as cut and dried.
Jim stared at the house, wishing he’d done this right the first time, immediately after getting home. Six days was as long as he could wait before nearly going stir-crazy. Bubbling inside were far different emotions. Holding back was too much to ask, and he didn't want to wait any longer.
Y/N needed to know what they’d done. What they’d agreed to. She’d had time since the accident. If their relationship ended up being another issue to deal with, at least they’d deal with it together. That didn’t make him an asshole.
He knocked on the door, anxious to get started.
The woman who greeted him was still on the green side, and his heart went out to her even as his gaze took in the rounded curves under her housecoat.
"You still sick?"
She shrugged. "Feeling a bit better. What's up?"
Had to seem strange since he didn't usually drop in on her like this. Not before they'd ... "I need to talk to you."
Y/N frowned. "Something wrong with my brothers? Or at the office?"
"No, nothing. This is personal."
That only seemed to confuse her more. "Give me a second to pull on some clothes, okay?" "No, nothing. This is personal."
He shook his head. "I needed to talk to you about your accident. More specifically, the night before."
Y/N collapsed onto the couch. "This is old boring territory, Jim. I don't-"
"Humor me. I know it's boring because you’ve said it a million times, but I haven’t heard it."
"I was out for the night. Went home. Got my car the next morning, and went off the road into the ditch and bumped my head. You think book or movie options would sell better?"
He ignored the snark. "How did you get home from the bar?"
She opened her mouth, then closed it quickly. "Oh. You drove me. Thanks, if I didn't say it before."
Damn it.
Jim let a growl of frustration escape. “Y/N, We weren’t worried about our please and thank-yous when we got here that night."
Her eyes widened. "What are you talking about?"
He lowered himself beside her on the couch and slipped his hand over hers. "Something happened that night. We both wanted it, and if I hadn’t gone north, we'd be together now."
Her entire body went rigid. "Together, as in how?"
Jim stroked her fingers gently, willing her to at least remember his touch. "We made love, Y/N. A bunch of times. And it was hot and amazing, and I can't wait to do it again."
The pallor of her skin brightened as twin red spots flushed her cheeks. "We...made love. After you drove me home." Her confusion was understandable, so he nodded and went on.
"I know it was shitty timing, not only because of the accident, but because I had to leave the next day. I'm so sorry I wasn’t here for you. Sorry you had to deal with your accident without me around, but I intend on being here for you from now on. No matter what you need."
Y/N stomped away a few feet before twirling on him. "Okay, that wasn't nice. I'm glad you feel like one of the family, Jim, but I certainly never thought you were the type to be willing to sacrifice your entire future on a whim like this."
Somewhere their wires had gotten crossed. "I have no idea how me being a foster kid, or your family, is even involved in this discussion, or what the hell sacrificing my future means. Before I left we said we would work on being together. On spending time and getting to know each other more."
Quite honestly she grew even more confused, agitated even. She couldn't remember any of this, her mind seemed to have a road block.
"Sweet sentiment, especially when you toss in having a kid. Babies aren’t something you can return to the store when they become inconvenient, Jim."
Wait. What? "Babies? What are you talking about?"
She froze with her mouth open as panic slipped into her eyes.
A pit opened in front of Jim, and he stood with one foot in midair over the unfathomable depths. He took in all the signs, lined up the data, then waited for his ability to speak to return. "Wait, are you telling me you're pregnant?"
Holy shit.
Holy fuck.
Holy crap.
Y/N took a deep breath before muttering her response. "So. That went well."
"Answer the question." Jim narrowed the gap between them. "Are you serious? You're pregnant?"
She frowned. "You sure you didn't know?"
"How could I know? Oh man, Y/N. I had no idea." Jim wasn't sure his feet would continue to hold him. It might be a cop-out, but the room was wavering. "I need to sit down." He stumbled backward and collapsed onto the couch. Y/N was pregnant. They'd had sex, she'd had an accident, and he... They. She.
Jim lifted his gaze to meet hers. "How far along are you?"
It was her turn to pause. "Oh, shit, you’re not serious, are you?"
"About what?"
Y/N dropped into the seat opposite him. She made the most hysterical face as she scratched her head. "Good grief. Okay-for the sake of discussion, let’s assume you’re telling the truth. You drove me home and we spent the night knocking boots."
"It is true."
She glared at him. "Let me talk this through without interruption, or I will kick your ass out the door."
His head was still spinning from trying to process the idea of a baby on the way. "You've gotten an attitude since I left," he observed.
"Comes from being knocked around and knocked up." She stared at the ceiling before leaning forward and asking very earnestly. "Now if we did the horizontal mambo, was there a reason why I'd be pregnant?  Did we not use a condom? Did it break?"
Jim shook his head. "We used protection, every time. Including in the shower."
Her cheeks went bright red at his comment, but she pushed forward. "Then it makes no sense. It couldn't be you. If...you know, we did what you said."
"It can happen. Condoms aren’t fool proof, and we were pretty enthusiastic." His stomach was in knots. Jim paused. He wasn't trying to get out of his responsibilities, but it would be stupid not to get all the details. "You had the accident the day after I left. Not to be indelicate, but have you been with anyone since?"
She snorted. "Are you freaking kidding me? I’ve been lucky to go shopping without supervision. Jim nodded. "I can believe that. Okay, then. Mystery solved." He dragged a hand through his hair, wondering if he should go hug her or kiss her, or do something other than sit like a bump on a log as he attempted to get over the shock.
Y/N grimaced. "Urn..."
He saw her, heard her, but his brain was racing a million miles an hour.
A baby.
Sweet mercy, he’d had one night with Y/N, and they'd gone and got her pregnant. There was so much wrong with that in so many ways he could barely put one thought behind another. He wanted her. Wanted to care for her, and be there for her. Being a father? Not on the list of things he had planned. Not today, maybe not ever.
Time to think was good. Jim resisted glancing at his watch, because he didn’t give a fuck it wasn’t even noon. His thinking time was going to require a couple hard shots of liquor. "I'll call you this afternoon."
She shook her head. "Tomorrow."
Blast it all. Jim took advantage of his height and crowded her. "Look, I'll admit it. I'm more than a touch floored right now, but that doesn’t change what’s important. I care about you, and whether or not you believe me, I know there is a good possibility I'm the father of your baby. So we can think things through, and talk about them, but there is one thing I want to make clear right now. I will be in your life, Y/N. I will be there to help you, and there is nothing you can say that will change my mind."
For the first time since their strange conversation had begun, a faint hint of a real smile teased her lips and the lines at the corners of her eyes softened. She laid a hand on his crossed arms. "Thank you."
He didn’t remember leaving. Next thing he knew he was in his truck tearing down a quiet back road. The radio remained silent while the snow blanketing the fields rose and fell like an endless sea around him.
Y/N was pregnant, and he was going to be a father.
Flash back to 1 year ago…
Y/N started on her favorite thing at breakfast time. The waffle house. She had finished the structure then was having trouble with the door. The piece fell in the house and Y/N  was digging it out carefully with her fingers. Oh no. please don't ruin the house She pulled the piece out and tried again and almost lost it again.
All of a sudden she heard a voice, "Y'know, why don't you try this?" She saw a toothpick go through the piece of waffle house to be the door. She looked up at where the voice came from and saw a guy about her age looking at her. "Now why didn't I think of that?" She said kind of shyly. She kept avoiding eye contact with him. "Well you're too close to the project, don't be too hard on yourself."  "You're right." "Sometimes you need an outsiders perspective."
Jim looked at her and smiled. "A fresh eye never hurts." "I'm Y/N." She looked in his eyes and was waiting for his hand to meet hers. He stretched his hand out and grabbed hers with both of his hands. "Yes." "I'm Jim Mason." "Nice to meet you." Their hands let go and they kept staring into each-others eyes. Then Henry broke the silence by saying, "It's pretty, keep up the good work."
"I see you're sitting there alone." "Um, do you want to come sit down?"  "Sure, Sure." "That would be great." Jim whispered. "So are you an architect?" She looked into his eyes. "I am not, I work at an aquarium." Y/N smiled. Then looked at him. "Oh, so that's where the smell is coming from." She could see the embarrassment in his eyes. "Yeah, yeah I was feeding the walruses this morning and I thought I got most of it off of me, but I guess not." She saw him take the lemon out of his water and rub it on his hands. She kept staring down at his hands thinking in her head. She then smiled. "I love that smell." "No you don't." "Fish don't even like that smell."
"The best smell in the world." Jim's eyes met Y/N's again and then..."Well, my fingers are available for your sniffing pleasure anytime you need them."
One year seemed like ages ago, Jim held down a job at the time at a local aquarium in PV. The first time he had ever met Y/N was at a local diner, a fond memory but one she may not remember. Jim was deep in thought during the drive, if she didn't remember then he guessed that if he recreated them maybe it might jog her memory.
It was like some nightmare she couldn’t quite wake up from. The only thing keeping her from flipping out completely was the knowledge she had a roof over her head for the long run. The house was hers, lock, stock and barrel, an inheritance from her mom, along with enough money to make being a single mom bearable until the kid was in school and she could work more full-time hours.
And... It wasn’t right, but the other thing grounding her? The expression in Jim's eyes the other day-So serious. So determined and solid in spite of his surprise about the baby.
She leaned on the wall and practiced breathing out her frustration in time with the slow, steady scrapes of the shovel outside her door. Whoever had been clearing her driveway, and the even rasps were strangely calming.
Eventually the noises stopped, and the doorbell rang. She  expected to see one of her brothers, although they usually stormed in, no matter how often she asked them to knock. Instead it was Jim who leaned on the shovel he’d just finished using on the sidewalk. Somehow he still managed to look all dangerous and sexy even considering the pink plastic handle.
He grinned. "Morning."
Y/N glanced past him at the walkways. "Morning. You've been busy."
She opened the door and let him pass. He'd toed off his boots and followed her into the living area.
They settled across from each other, his gaze staying firmly on her face. Y/N ignored him best she could as she gathered the papers strewn on the table.
The silence stretched on for far too long.
"So..." Jim broke off then cleared his throat. "I hate that there's this wall between us. I'm not going to walk on eggshells anymore, so if I step over a line, tell me to go to hell, okay?  We can stop this stupid awkwardness and be honest with each other."
"Fine by me." Y/N leaned back and waited for whatever bomb he wanted to drop this time.
She shrugged. “Life goes on as usual. I try to get over this stupid amnesia as it relates to numbers so I can go back to working at the garage. I take it you'll be starting up at the shop?"
Jim  frowned. "I meant what about us?"
Oh boy.
"I..." He wanted honesty. Y/N lifted her eyes to meet his square on. "I like you, Jim Part of me really hopes what you're saying is true because I've would like to get involved with you. I am just frustrated I don't remember anything about us.Of course, that means if we did fool around and I've forgotten, I'm doubly pissed off, because I'd been waiting forever, and it's just wrong to have lost those memories. "
His smile had widened the sexy one that melted her butter faster than it should. "Trust me; I can hardly wait to make some new ones."
Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. She held up a hand as if to ward him off. "But we can't. Not yet."
Confusion crowded his expression. "If you want to be with me, and I want to be with you, then why aren’t we getting together, Y/N? Why aren’t we facing the future, and your pregnancy, as partners the way we should?"
A wave of sadness and frustration rolled over her leaving her exhausted. " I admit that I do like you, Jim, but as far as I know we've never even kissed. How on earth can I simply go 'hey, okay' and dive headfirst into a long-term relationship with you? None of it makes sense, and not being sure is frustrating me more and more."
Anger boiled over, and she whipped the pillow from her hands. It spun across the room, narrowly missing a table lamp. Y/N  pressed her fists against her temples as she fought to settle down.
Stupid hormones. Or maybe the "new Y/N ” had triggered her over-the-top response. The one with far too much vinegar in her blood.
Jim hadn’t taken his gaze off her. Jim was on his feet in an instant, gently rubbing her upper arms as he made soothing noises. He pulled her against his chest, and it wasn’t sexual, just comfort and understanding.
Y/N twisted her face to the side, slipped her arms around him and accepted his hug. Let the warmth of the embrace twine around them. Let the smooth repetitive touch of his hands down her back relax away the tension. She stood there in his arms for a good five minutes before all the frustration and fire had eased off enough that she could finally take a deep breath.
Jim squeezed her a little tighter. "I'm here for you. Like this, if nothing more. My commitment has no agendas, no deadlines. Just one moment after another until we make it through."
Under her cheek his heart pumped out a smooth, even tempo, and Y/N clung tight. To the firm support of his body and gentle touch of his hands. While she wants him  in some half-dreamed-of sexual-fantasy world, right now things were still so unsettled.
It was nice to have one solid place to stand. One solid individual she could lean against who helped stop the spinning, even for a moment. She stepped away from him reluctantly. As nice as it was to have his support, she wanted to get her life back .
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Credit to @carolthors
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ecoamerica · 20 days ago
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