#i'm having a lot of senior center thoughts actually

[teaboot]

Batman? As in extended batman universe, specifically batman, or movies batman? I'm going to die from the hilarity of /accidentally/ following another batman fan. Generally it's on purpose lol

I was actually absorbed into the Fandom by osmosis before I even touched any of the Canon material

Even now I've only seen the Affleck movies and the Battinson one, plus a couple cartoons and like. Four comics out of order

With next to zero evidence tho I have decided that

Dick Grayson has Eldest Daughter syndrome that, speaking as an Eldest Daughter (tm) really should be addressed in the lore somewhere before he goes on a drunken bender, gets a tramp stamp, kills a man, and has a full-on mental breakdown when the Repression Dam breaks

Stephany Brown radiates "angry teen girl needs a hug" energy imo but I feel like she might break my arms? I don't know anything about her except her dad sucks but honestly same boat, would hang

Timothy Drake cannot be the helpless boohoo I see a lot of, but somehow the cool, collected, hypercompentant, übermensch-tweenybopper look is kinda sadder, like seeing a twelve year old buying groceries at the store by themselves. I want to send his ass to normal kid summer camp

I don't know pretty much anything about Duke Thomas except that he's a meta whose parents might be alive but crazy. I can only conclude that he suffers from Black Character White Fandom syndrome. I headcanon that he had an embarrassing weeb phase in middle school because he feels like the kind of kid Who'd have gone through a phase of saying "ohaio" with peace signs as a baby tween. I have no evidence to support this

Cassandra Cain might be my favourite. I think she deserves to go on an angry, irrational rampage or two, as a treat. Aggretsuko vibes that I cannot explain. I bet her favourite colour is purple

Jason Todd is my guilty comfort character and I refuse to believe he kicked the shit out of a fifteen year old while wearing a legless adult onesie. I refuse. Also yeah as a huge angry-kid-book-nerd there is no way that pride and prejudice was his number one fave, my money is on the Percy Jackson series but that could just be me projecting

Damian Wayne is Autistic, personal subscription. Because I am too and I said so. Reminds me of my baby brother, but crankier. Like a tiny old man who doesn't want to be at bingo with the other folks at the senior center.

I feel like Alfred should be allowed to be wrong about something sometimes but I still love him. Give that grandpa a gun

Bruce Wayne strikes me as a man who should have put a lot more thought and study and personal therapy consults into the idea of adopting multiple highly capable highly traumatized children he's never met before before but fuck pobody's nerfect am I right. Bisexual

[leveloneandup]

For Christen Press, the Joy is in the Journey

Progress isn’t perfect.

That’s been Christen Press’s motto over the 781 days since she last played in a soccer match—and not just when it comes to her recovery from the ACL tear she sustained in June, 2022, but also when thinking about life as a whole.

“You have to accept that things won’t go the way you think they will, but maybe they’ll go better,” she explains. “Progress isn’t linear. It’s up and down and back and forth. But in that movement there’s more than what you ever imagined. So the imperfection—the struggle, the setbacks—those are actually the greatest gifts as you get to learn about yourself and you have the chance to grow.”

Press has had more than her share of setbacks over the last two years, as an initial surgery turned into two, then three, and finally four.

“I think every single time that I was told I’d have to have surgery, from the first ACL reconstruction and the three scopes that I had, I always thought I would be on the quickest timeline possible,” said Press when she returned to Angel City training in June. “I think that's part of who I am. I'm just relentlessly optimistic. I'm naively positive, and just thinking that everything's going to work out for me—and I never want that to change, you know? And I got off course of all of those timelines so many times that I finally had to actually relinquish that expectation of myself.”

In her two years off the field, Press says she’s grown and healed in more ways than just physically, but the goal was always to return, even if that possibility felt far off at times.

“I never thought about giving up,” says Press, “but there were moments that I thought I’d have to accept that I wouldn’t make it—or that ‘making it’ might not look how I expected.”

One of the hardest things about this process has been accepting that the outcome was not fully under her control. “I’m able to do a lot of suffering for success, and I’ve been that way since I was a child,” she says. “The question I had to answer was how to accept and be open to things I cannot control.”

Press had access to the best medical and rehabilitation care in the business—first at the Meyer Institute of Sports, an El Segundo rehab and performance facility specializing in elite athletes, and then with Angel City’s training staff, including VP of Medical and Performance Sarah Smith, Head Athletic Trainer Manny De Alba, Head of Sports Science Dan Jones, Director of Rehabilitation Sarah Neal, Performance Coach Michael Roman, Assistant Athletic Trainer April Seymon, and Senior Physical Therapist Joscelyn Shumate Bourne.

Ultimately, bodies don’t always heal the way we hope they will. All she could do was show up every day and try her best.

“I had to make decisions that centered my well being and full personhood,” she says. “To start to find my inherent value outside of excellence in the pitch.”

In part, that meant finding joy in other areas of life. She worked on her business, re–Inc, including starting a podcast with (business and life) partner Tobin Heath, initially focusing on the 2023 World Cup, then branching out to cover women’s soccer more generally. She went to the beach. She spent time with family.

In some ways, this time away from the game Press loves has been freeing. “The last two years have been the first of my career that I wasn’t evaluated on my performance,” she says. “I showed up for PT every day with a smile on my face and gave max effort. That’s all I had to do.”

Press’s return comes at a perfect time for the club: they’ve begun to build momentum with two convincing Summer Cup wins, against Club América and Bay FC, as they look ahead to the back half of the regular season. Playoffs are still well within reach heading into this stretch, a fact that Press’s return can only make more tangible.

“Her quality is inevitable,” says First Assistant Coach Eleri Earnshaw. “Last week in training, she scored a couple of goals that we haven't seen anyone else do yet this season in training.”

Returning to play after such a long hiatus isn’t easy for anyone, but Earnshaw says there’s a point the coaching staff have emphasized both to Press and to other injured players eyeing a return to the field: “your ability doesn't change overnight,” she says. “There are some things that just stay with you. Her chance creation, her separation from defenders—you’ve got to be in the right physical and mental place to be able to perform those things, to be confident to do it, but she is building those things up every day.”

“If we can get that quality onto the pitch for any number of minutes, great,” she concludes.

As Press anticipates her return to what she calls “the real world of professional sports”—one “filled with stress and pressure and often angst,” as she puts it—she’s going in with a fresh perspective.

“I’m determined to enjoy it,” she says. “I know who I am as a player and person, and I see this opportunity as a chance to do what I love. I told my teammates today: football is a miracle. It’s a miracle we get to do the thing we love.”

[bestworstcase]

So, regarding your Tai post,

https://www.tumblr.com/bestworstcase/748954216598470656/the-perennial-tai-discourse-is-really-interesting?source=share

I had some thoughts: I technically cover it in a separate post

https://www.tumblr.com/tumblingxelian/749060919422861312/really-solid-addition-here-much-like-with-qrows

But I'm unsure if the links will work so here is a slightly edited & expanded version:

Now, the idea that Ruby & Yang had very different childhoods is not an idea I strictly disagree with. But, I also think it is a bit inaccurate to treat it as outlined in your post.

What I mean is that while Yang is definitely more overt in the fact she feels Tai and the other adults failed them and defaults to centering family moments on Ruby. (For instance she frames the Zwei package as something to cheer Ruby up, its not for her & Ruby's the one really excited, Yang's just kind of there about it)

Despite that, Ruby herself doesn't have a simple relationship with Tai, or in fact she just might but that's not a good thing.

See, Ruby does not think about Tai very often, he's largely an afterthought in her letters for one. But more to the point he is not someone Ruby goes to for advice or guidance or even comfort.

Post Beacon, she mostly gets an update from him and is not bothered to see him go. She is OK being a bit more vulnerable around Qrow.

But the person she actually seeks out and seems utterly shocked at not receiving comfort from is Yang. It was also Yang who she questions for what to do next and Yang whom she confided her plans in before leaving.

Again she is shocked when Yang cannot supply these things to her.

Tai is her dad, but its a superficial relationship, he's nice, he can be fun, she does love him. She does not however, seem to perceive him as a reliable or responsible adult from whom she seeks protection or guidance.

The person she always defaulted to for that was Yang until she could no longer fill the role post V3 which likely fed into her issues with showing vulnerability in V9.

I tend to think she might have been more open to it in V5 given the breakdown tears & hug, but then Yang demonstrated she was still very much not all right & Ruby had no clue what to do. So she just sort of locked into her head that Yang needed 'her' protection now, not the other way around.

I would also just straight up note that even Ruby said it was Yang who raised her. Like, that wasn't even subtle, she knows who the parent was in that house and it wasn't Tai or Qrow. I don't think she'd say that if their childhoods were 'so' different that Tai was a functional parent to her but not Yang.

She definitely has a less... frosty relationship with the two grown men who she grew up around, Largely because they project the saintly Summer onto her and the Wretched Raven onto Yang.

Again, let's not forget Qrow's entirely willing to accept Yang brutalized a kid for shits and giggles or is "crazy". Or that Tai outright sees a lot of Raven in Yang, despite most of the traits he described not meshing with Yang's demonstrated or self described persona.

But even with that more positive relationship being projected onto and still raised by a sister two years your senior isn't exactly ideal. Both sisters had a shitty childhood, both were deeply neglected and failed and suffered because of that fact.

all true! but the nature of parentification is that the children experience the neglect in very different ways; the elder child is forced into an adult role, parenting the younger child, who is harmed in more invisible ways because they do have a caretaker—their sibling. anecdotally nearly every account of a childhood i’ve read by an adult who was raised as a child by older siblings has either alluded to or outright described 1. a much better childhood than their caretaking sibling(s) got, 2. because their sibling(s) shielded them from the worst neglect or abuse.

with that in mind and taking into consideration things like the different reactions to the package from tai (this will cheer ruby up vs ooh, something from home!) and yang staying behind at beacon when tai takes ruby to visit the memorial stone, and now these clear differences in how the girls feel about the boba shop (yang: unsure, downplaying the surprise, maybe it’s dumb / ruby: boba!!!) which probably reflect their emotional experience of the outings with dad (yang: fun, happy that ruby is so excited, not that special otherwise / ruby: magical)…

well, let’s put it this way:

yang did not have a real caretaker starting from age five, when she became the de facto main parent to her three-year-old sister with at best sporadic breaks when qrow wasn’t too blackout drunk / tai was having a good day.

ruby had a primary caretaker who struggled but was always there (yang) and a dad who had to work a lot but made time to do special things like the boba trips so that he could spend quality time with his family (tai). plus an uncle she sometimes needed to help her sister deal with.

yang being parentified has the effect of insulating ruby from the severity of tai’s neglect; in a functional single-income household where one parent stays home and the other works to support the family and both parents are adults who chose this dynamic and enjoy their respective roles, the working parent is not bad or neglectful simply because they aren’t around during the day to take care of the kids, and they can foster close, loving relationships with their children by making the most of the time they have at home. the childhood ruby had was a dysfunctional imitation of that dynamic.

and then factoring in the summer-vs-raven projection, when tai was around he focused on bonding time with ruby moreso than yang.

the net result is that the harm to ruby is much more invisible (yang by virtue of being a child herself could not provide ruby with healthy parent-child boundaries or the emotional stability children need from their parents to feel secure and develop good emotional regulation; tai’s favoritism of ruby being intertwined with idealizing of summer fucked ruby’s sense of self really badly; in the first few volumes ruby feels hurt and bewildered every time yang acts like her sister instead of her parent).

ruby sees clearly and states in volume nine that yang raised her; i don’t think she would have been able to articulate that so plainly in volume one, and this is something she’s come to realize after leaving home / living independently. in v1 it’s “yang used to read to me when we were little” and i’d bet that’s how ruby would phrase everything yang did—as discrete habits, not the combined pattern of “yang raised me.”

whereas yang like. the first thing she does at beacon is try to step away from ruby: encouraging her to meet new people then ditching her to catch up with friends, not wanting to partner up with her for initiation… much as yang loves her sister and enthusiastically supports her, it’s also pretty obvious that yang saw beacon as an opportunity to focus on herself for once. which says to me that she’d already grasped that their home life was messed up and that she needed to break those patterns once she left.

[thebeautysurrounds]

I’ve been thinking a lot about how people’s reactions to certain queer shows and something I think we need to examine how we treat more ‘dark’ and ‘emotional’ shows versus more ‘happy’ shows in this case I’m gonna be talking about the “debate” between Young Royals and Heartstopper.

Firstly these shows exist in two different lanes, and draw in two different audiences and potential age ranges, in my opinion, Young Royals is for older teenagers (think juniors or seniors or someone who is about to graduate high school and is going into college) while Heartstopper is geared towards those who are just starting high school or in the middle of it and is in that transitional period of their lives. Obviously, if you are not in these age ranges you can still consume and enjoy these shows, But I want to discuss how people act like they both can’t exist and you can’t like both or both shows existing for a reason. I’ve never really been a fan of punching down or belittling queer media (unless it’s harmful) Queer media in all forms is still lacking (especially those mediums centering WLW relationships). That being said the debate of which show is better is honestly so tired.

For people who say Young Royals is so much better (don’t get me wrong it is an amazing show and by all means like whatever you want) but liking it more because it’s “darker and more realistic” compared to Heartstopper which is "much happier" and "unrealistic," To me is so disingenuous because firstly so what? campy shows that feature queer characters deserve to be unrealistic, What's wrong with being unrealistic? Queer media has been subject to the Burry Your Gays narrative for decades or extremely unhealthy tropes and storylines so what's so wrong with having storylines and shows that are unrealistic or extremely happy? (even though the themes in Heartstopper are realistic).

Have you thought about how that may be an intentional choice? Now bare with me here this may be my over-analytic brain at work but Heartstopper has more or less some of the same themes as Young Royals just shot in a very vibrant and colorful manner to showcase how happy and colorful young love is BUT if you actually have watched the show or read the graphic novels you would know the show and graphic novels cover some heavy themes.

SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT……

I want you to keep the song Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People in mind throughout this...I have a point I promise. Heartstopper is shot in a very poppy colorful way and in my opinion, symbolizes how when you’re young and in love everything feels warm, colorful, and vibrant. While Young Royals doesn't utilize this cinematic style they do use some form of vibrancy to convey tone and emotion. In Young Royals many of the scenes featuring Simon and Willhem's 'good moments' feature the sun especially shining on Simon when Willie is looking at him or whenever they are just in each other's company, this is especially prominent in the last scenes of the last two episodes of season 3.

So while people's criticisms of Heartstopper can be warranted (not saying you can't dislike the show) the comments that it's just so bubbly and bright just aren't true. The last season of Heartstopper saw multiple characters go through traumatic situations and it has been building up that way from the very first scenes in the first season of the show (but for the sake of time I'm only going to discuss both main characters in the two shows) Charlie not only is still struggling with being outed but is also battling with an eating disorder, this is foreshadowed throughout the first two seasons leading up to its inevitable blatant reveal when he is at dinner with Nick and his family where Nick starts to piece together why he is never hungry, passed out on the Paris trip and never finishes his food, which leads his to eventually research the signs of an ED. Nick is also still figuring himself out when it comes to his Bisexuality, while also dealing with the feelings of, feeling abandoned by his father, and having to reckon with the fact his brother is not supportive and dismissive of his sexuality and relationship.

Now before I said keep Pumped Up Kicks in mind that's because while this song has an upbeat, catchy tempo the song actually has a really dark undertone and meaning. So while Heartstopper is shot in a very vibrant colorway most of its characters and content of the show deal with dark themes and it's not all just a happy love story, and if the script for the next season follows the graphic novel closely, then we will see the characters go through even more challenges which also falls inline with the "darker" more emotionally message of the show. So to end this so it doesn't become a dissertation, both shows more or less have the same themes they just exist in two different lanes, I don't know why exactly people are fighting for one to be more valid than the other. When both can exist and be impactful to both or each audience, more queer shows need to exist where the characters are just happy and in love and I need y'all to unpack why you view more doom and gloom (for a lack of a better word) queer shows or movies are more valid than ones where the characters are just happy and have relatively in some aspects great experience when it comes to young love and figuring out one's identity. Sepreatlty why do you want these characters to suffer to find love? Why do characters have to go through something traumatic for their identity to be more valid and for you to relate and want to root for it more versus the latter?

Anyway, this was longer than I intended it to be but I just had to get my thoughts out there. TL;DR: Heartstopper and Young Royals are two great shows and if you think one is better than the other cause it has darker themes you are missing the point or probably objectively missed the dark undertones of the show, and one isn't more valuable than the other.

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Lgbtqia+ hcs because I don't know if I'm gonna make it till June lmao (or, if I'm gonna live after it since I'm planning on wearing my flags In public 🤡)

Tw for csa mentions (because why don't I keep projecting huh)

Ashlyn Banner

-She/Her but in a "never thought about pronouns her entire life" kinda way. Doesn't mind they/them. She likes dressing masc/feeling masc, but doesn't really like being "perceived" as masc. Like...masc on her own time lmao. (I'm projecting so hard rn). "Gender neutral" kinda- like agender- but like in a "I don't care about my gender at all I just am more used to the gender they assigned me at birth"

-Demi rose 🌹 I'm also projecting here. Takes her a while to come into her feelings, but maybe that's the "never had friends ever" coming through.

Aiden Clark

-he/him but like he won't care if you use smth else for him lol. Cis gnc kinda guy eyyyyy (better in heels than ashlyn)

-unlabeled and that's how he likes it, nobody's business who he likes kissing lol. I feel like he's kissed a guy before just to try it. On the aro-allo spectrum ngl.

Ben Clark

-He/Him, is fine with They/Them. Honestly likes getting called She/Her too but she's been pretty shy about mentioning it :") Taylor likes doing her makeup if they're having a "femme-day". Settled on genderfluid/genderflux after a while.

-Greyromantic Caedsexual (Ace). Shane was part of a group of slightly older kids, and when he was getting bullied Shane and some other kids sexually assaulted him multiple times...technically was a queer assault since Ben was seen as a sissy because his personality and hobbies were "feminine", and this was to goad him into having a physical reaction :/

Taylor Hernández

(Ngl I'm so annoyed there's not more colors but whatever)

-She/Her and They/Them, identified as cis for a long time since it was what they knew, but once she learned more about it she experimented with her gender a lot more, they identified as non-binary for a while before moving to paragirl.

-Pan to aro/ace pipeline because I'm projecting :) she didn't really handle it well at the beginning, but Ben, Ash and Aiden are all also a-spec so she had a lot of support ^_^ They felt "invalid" because of the csa they went through when they were younger and they thought it was more like a trauma response than their actual sexuality. After talking with Ben about it tho she understood that even if they were related that didn't make her any less valid.

Tyler Hernández

-He/Him cis guy I'm sorry/lh

-was kinda annoying about queer people because actually being raised as a Catholic Mexican boy makes you kinda weird (IM SORRY THIS IS JUST FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE) BUT he gets better I promise

-Bisexual boyfailure and took him crushing on Logan to accept it 🤡

Logan Fields

-He/Him and a bit of a stickler about it because he gets misgendered rather frequently (less as he got older but still), doesn't mind getting called gendered terms tho (Taylor calls him "sis", and he calls himself an "Astrology girl")

-intersex, found out when he was 15ish since his puberty had been delayed, and he's really insecure about it...🙃 he was assigned male at birth so he wouldn't say he's trans, but his experiences overlap a fair bit. Takes testorone and medication because he has low electrolytes. I could write a whole essay here but I have to go soon 😭

-Gay :> He realized pretty quickly but he's intensely scared of people finding out, has only told his grandparents. They took it very well ^_^ His grandpa has some gay friends so sometimes Logan goes to the senior center to talk with them about stuff :)

[blitzsicedcoffee]

I've been thinking a lot recently about my disability, the unknown autoimmune disease, and like what could have caused it.

And of course, it could have been spurred by Covid, or stress, or so many other things. But I am of the mind that it could have been caused by my obvious burnout from the above. From covid, stress, and college.

I took about eight years to finish my bachelor's degree. For many reasons. Financial, Needed a full time job and couldn't do both, couldn't figure out a solid major, etc. And once I restarted college at the university during Covid, since I had lost my job at Starbucks at the time, I wanted to go quick. I wanted it to be over with. I wanted to finally FINISH.

So I did full time school for a year, committed to a major and minor. And then my unemployment payments dried up after a year. So I had to do full time school AND a part time job. The job I chose wasn't that bad. I worked part time at a sex toy shop. Sure the company itself left little to be desired (playboy industries). But it was a cool job cause I got to "test out" the toys, (usually meaning like, on my hand, duh), and explain to customers how they could be used. And I felt like I was also actually using my degree during this. (Sexuality and Gender studies).

Then, my senior year I ALSO took on an internship at the Queer Resource Center on my University Campus. And that was an extra 16 hours a week. So effectively, I was juggling THREE JOBS. That, my part time job, and my senior coursework to culminate into a final research project.

You could say I was already within the throws of burnout, cause I was. But I was "keeping up with it". I was getting adequate sleep, I was still on socials, participating in hobbies, doing chores. I *thought* I was *fine*.

The biggest mistake I made, was when I graduated. I started applying to jobs AS SOON as I graduated. I felt this pressure to get more money, to live up to my degree, to contribute more to my household. Even though I was already paying my portion of rent and bills just fine with the part time job. And no one was asking me to do this. Not my parents, not my partner. Just myself.

After a few months, I did land a job. A state job. Applying my degree. It was exactly what I wanted. I quit my part time job. I Committed fully to the full time job (which was three months of mind numbing computer trainings first), and I was good at it.

Then six months in, I crashed.

I started having nightmares, waking up in cold sweats. I started having horrible joint pain. I couldn't think straight during the day and had horrible brain fog. And it only escalated from there. And being neurodivergent too, I was struggling to understand aspects of the in person office, and neurotypical people's attitudes and reactions. That didn't help.

Which brings us here. I'm on leave from the full time job on paid leave until the paid leave ends. And I don't know if I can even go back. From my constantly worsening disease, etc.

I don't really have advice to give, this was mostly a rant for myself. But I guess...if I had to give advice it would be SLOW DOWN.

Please for the love of the gods slow down. The grind mindset is fucking poison. You will hurt yourself. And if you think you won't, you're lying to yourself.

Another thing to add: Yes I acknowledge theres a lot of privilege steeped in this experience. This is just my experience and what I take from it in context of soul crushing capitalism.

[glassofspoiledmilk]

Going Gold| Yuri P.

Chapter 1 - Lilia Baranoskaya | TW: Suicide mention, language.

Ever since I was little I have always been immune to the cold. Not just because I'm a figure skater, but also because i live in St.Petersburg, Russia. It was almost never warm here in Russia.

     I sat up in my bed and ripped my covers off. I got up and walked over to my dresser. I pulled out my skating pants and a black jacket, I have very strict skating attire. I pulled up my hair up into a ponytail and slipped on a pair of black athletic shoes. I walked into my kitchen and ate some leftover pancakes from yesterday.

"good morning Y/N" My mom says as she walks into the kitchen.

"good morning" i reply, giving her a quick hug.

After finishing my pancakes, I stood up and grabbed a water bottle from my cabinet. I filled it up and set it down on my counter. I walked into my living room and grabbed my backpack, and slipped my water bottle into the pocket on the side. I grabbed the bag and yelled out  "bye mom!".

I walked out the door and started walking down the street.

I made it to the rink and walked inside. I went straight to the locker rooms and quickly put my skates on.

As I walked out of the room and onto the ice, I saw yakov with the other senior skaters, Yuri, Mila, and Georgi. I took my guards off and skated out onto the ice with the rest of the team. "Y/N you’re here, start working on your short program for this season, i hope you remembered it" yakov said.

"Yeah I remember" i said, skating to the center of the ice.

I started the program, i was only running through the choreography of it though. Upon finishing, I heard someone call my name.

"Hey princess, need more time to warm up? You looked kinda stiff out there" Yuri yelled from across the ice.

"Shut up yurio" i said as I rolled my eyes, clearly not in the mood for his attitude.

He scowled and rolled his eyes in response.

Man he is such and asshole.

Later, after many, many hours of training we finally finished.

"Good work today, all of your programs are coming along nicely" yakov said, giving us the signal to leave.

I made my way off the ice and towards the Locker rooms.

"Yuri, Y/N could I speak with you for a second" yakov said.

I quickly turned around to face him, and so did Yuri. I saw yakov standing with a woman. She looked very stern and had her hair pulled up in a tight bun.

"This is Lilia Baranoskaya, a pristine ballet instructor. I’m sure you’ve heard of her, She has generously offered to train the two of you for the upcoming season" yakov said.

Yuri and I looked at each other and back at them.

"The two of you will be staying at my house, I suggest you both go home and pack your things. Be back here no later than 9:00" Lilia said turning around and walking off.

“Wait, am i gonna have to live with him?!” I exclaim in annoyance.

“Yea I think I’d rather kill myself than live with her.” He added, giving me a look.

I scoff and look away.

“You two need to deal with it, I don’t want to hear complaints from either of you. If you want to win, you will get over it.” Yakov angrily said.

At first, I actually thought she was joking, but seeing yakov that serious made me realize that they weren’t in fact, joking.

“Yea whatever” Yuri says as he turns on his heel and walks away.

I turned around in disbelief and started walking to the locker room. I slipped my guards on over my blades and started on my way home.

I got to my house and tried to explain to my parents what was happening, they were very confused...and hesitant. “Honey..are you sure your ready to live somewhere without us? I don’t know about this..also what will you do about school? Is Lilia going to teach you?” My mom asks, concerned.

“I’m not sure, but I know I can do this. I have to think about my future, skating is what I love and this is the only way to win. Im going to be fine, Yakov and Yuri will also be there so I won’t be alone.” I say, trying to ease her worries.

It took a lot of convincing and a lot of talking, but they eventually said yes!

“Thank you! I have to meet Lilia back at the rink before 9:00” I exclaim.

I went upstairs and grabbed 3 suitcases and stuffed them to the brim with stuff like toiletries, makeup, clothes, and shoes. Not to mention all of my skating supplies. Later, my mom and dad came up and helped me.

After packing everything up my mom and dad drove me back to ice rink.

I saw yakov, lilia, and Yuri packing suitcases into a super fancy car, it almost looked like a limo. My mom and I unloaded the stuff and brought the luggage over to the car. We placed them next to Yuri's luggage and helped pack everything into the car.

"Goodbye sweetheart" my mom said as we packed the last suitcase into the car.

"Bye!" I replied giving her a hug.

I opened the door and sat down. I strapped on the seatbelt and waited. Yuri got into the car and sat down on the other side of me, and then Lilia and yakov got in. As we started driving Lilia told us about our schedules and where we would be staying. We would get up super early and go to the ballet room and dance and condition, and then we would go over to the rink and practice.

When we finally arrived at her house I started to unpacked everything. Her house was so huge, WAY bigger than my house. Lilia showed us to our rooms; my room and Yuri's room are next to each other.

Great.

I opened the door to see a beautiful white room with mirrors and paintings covering the walls. Books and plants were placed on shelves above me. I put my suitcases on the bed and started to unpack.

Yuri and I had a bathroom across the hallway from us, Lilia said we would have to share it.

Knowing his nasty ass he’ll probably destroy it within two seconds.

I went in there and placed my hair products in the shower and set up my toiletries on the counter. The counter had two sinks and one big, fancy mirror. I made sure everything was organized and neat around the sink I chose to use. Then I went back into my room and set up my stuff in the closet and in the dressers.

"Y/N, Yuri come now" Lilia yelled.

I opened the door and started walking down the stairs. I walked over to Lilia who told me and Yuri that dinner will be ready soon and we need to get showered.

Yuri and I looked at each other.

both of us had a competitive look displayed on our faces. When she finished speaking we both dashed up the stairs bumping into each other as we made our way up. We both fell into the bathroom and looked at each other. "Move idiot I have to shower" Yuri shouted.

"So do I, bitch" I replied standing up.

"There's only one way to solve this, rock paper scissors" Yuri said holding his hand out.

"Hell yea! I'm a boss at this" I said extending my hand out to meet his.

"Rock paper scissors shoot!" We both said at the same time.

I put rock, he had put scissors.

"Shit" he said.

"at least tell me when you get out dumbass" Yuri added, clearly annoyed.

“I will~” i teased.

“And don’t use all the hot water!” He replied.

“I won’t” I said, pushing him out of my way so I could get to my room.

I had every intention of using all the hot water.

I walked into my room and got a towel and pajamas and then walked back into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

I got in, washed my hair and my face, then got out. I put my clothes on and sat down on the toilet. There was a small mirror that I decided to use to do my skincare. I tied my hair up in the towel and pulled out all my skincare. After, I decided to put on a clay mask and clean out the shower. I noticed the only thing Yuri had in there was a 3-in-one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash bottle.

I cringed at the sight of it.

I walked out of the bathroom and knocked on his door. "Finally your done-" he said abruptly stopping.

He looked up and me and looked concerned. "What the hell happened to your face" he said.

I rolled my eyes as his question.

"I want you to use my shampoo and conditioner, that three in one shit is disgusting" I replied.

"What's wrong with my stuff it works just fine" he added.

"Yeah it would work just fine if you were a toddler, you need to take better care of yourself. And you should use my skincare products..you look like you need it" I smiled sarcastically and shut the door.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" He said angrily from behind the door.

I shrugged and walked away into my room. About ten minutes later I hear him yell.

"Y/N HOW DO YOU USE THIS SHIT".

I stood up and walked into the bathroom. He was sitting on the toilet staring blankly at the products.

"What is 'facial cleanser'?" He asked picking up a container.

"Exactly what it says genius, it cleanses your face" i replied.

I picked up each bottle and briefly explained how to use them. After a minute or two he got the hang of it and started correctly using them. I decided to wash the mask off my face while I had the chance.

After he finished lilia called us down for dinner. She made Pelmeni for dinner. We sat down and started eating. It was silent most of the time, except when yakov occasionally coughed.

We finished dinner and we headed upstairs since it was pretty late. Tomorrow at 7:00 AM Yuri and I had training in her ballet studio. Then afterwards we had skating practice. I set my alarm and quickly dozed off to sleep.

A/N: this story is out on my wattpad, blandbunny if you wanna read the other parts! But the rest of them should be on my tumblr soon. Thanks for reading!

[redfurrycat]

⚽ Nick "Goose" Bradshaw Fic Recs 🔥

Check the Top Gun Masterlist post for the latest updated version. 💕

List of Ao3 Authors: Dracculaura ~~~ Indigofudge ~~~ Lacerta ~~~ Lesbiseresin ~~~ Orphan_account ~~~ Pollyna ~~~ Qin_ling ~~~ SaintClaire | Specter_Ross ~~~ Teacupivy ~~~ Vannral ~~~ Yellow_crayon.

> Beau "Cyclone" Simpson

peace was never an option by dracculaura {T}

/Goose/

working overtime

Goose considers turning in his wings if it means he’ll be spared having to listen to even one more rambly, sappy monologue about Ice’s eyes.

but it’s always the same

Goose spent twenty-five years thinking that it couldn’t get worse than his best friends, and now he feels like he’s being punished for tempting fate like that.

no fear, just faith by qin_ling {M}

/Goose & Icemav/

if you lead, I will follow

Maverick and Iceman stare at each other a lot. Goose despairs. Or; Goose is the best wingman.

no fear, just faith

“Why don’t you send him a letter?” says Goose. Maverick stares at him. “Why would I do that?” — Lo and behold, Maverick and Iceman still don’t have their shit together. Goose's distress knows no bounds.

Thats Me, Honey by orphan_account {T}

/Sloose/

“Dammit Goose, you couldn’t have splurged for a booth?” “Sorry, booths are reserved for people I plan on going steady with” “Aw sweetheart, are you planning on dining and dashing?” “I’m hardly dining Kerner. Can’t a man sip his coffee in peace? Is nothing sacred anymore?” "Quit your honking. I saw you through the window and thought I’d check in.” Or, 5 times Slider surprises Goose and +1 time Goose surprises Slider back.

and you moved me, honey by vannral {M}

/Sloose/

”Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Slider says somewhere on Goose’s left. His voice is gruff, flat and so deadpan it would be hilarious under any other circumstances but unfortunately Goose is stuck on this ride, too, so he can relate heavily." Slider and Goose are 200 % done with their pilots and their stupid pining. Goose also realizes he might care a lot more for Slider than he thought.

The Retirement Of Admiral Bradshaw by SaintClaire {T}

/Gooserole/

The Retirement Of Admiral Bradshaw

He’s been sitting back at his desk for almost half an hour before Beau kicks the door in. “What the fresh hell is this, Bradshaw?” And so, Nicholas ‘Goose’ Bradshaw, two-star admiral and wrangler for the best and worst naval aviators ever to fly, retires. Predictably, it leaves him with absolutely no fucking idea with what to do with himself.

Not An Admiral But A Ringmaster

Other people might think that it’s actually bloody difficult to be a one-woman show in a circus-sized family of idiot naval pilots, but Carole is just that good. Pete introduces her a whole day later to a sweetly-blushing Nick Bradshaw, and Carole’s family takes off from there. She marries Nick within the year in a beautiful tulle monstrosity that only the 80’s could have ever produced, and kisses her husband for the first time on the steps of the town hall. Pete cries. Goose cries. Carole laughs, and tips her head back to the sun as she hugs her boys tightly.

Goose and Pals by yellow_crayon

/Goosemav/

sweet but a psycho {T}

"Yeah, I know, Chester. I'm so sorry he crashed the test plane on top of one of your new program sites and-" Bradshaw Senior is in the middle of saying, one hand tugging absently at his collar, "Exactly, he's too reckless. Where do you think I get all my white hairs?" He expertly dodges Maverick's kick and rests his hand briefly on his partner's knee. Rooster's dad had stuck with the all-natural look, and at the tender age of forty-five, he's gone half-grey. Maverick on the other hand, doesn't have a single white hair on his uniformly dark head. Rooster suspects he may be using hair dye but has yet to turn up concrete evidence to support his theory.

I say a little prayer {G}

"Hey, I learned from the best, ok?" Rooster says over the radio after confirming their information with the base command center, "Trust me, sir. I got this. Gonna get you down to the ground safely. It's just a bit of funky weather." "Wait, who are you referring to as the best?" "Your old pilot." "Mav?!" Goose's voice finally cracks, panic flooding in. "Ice is the best, Maverick is—" He starts to say. There's a burst of static over the recording accompanied by the sound of someone loudly retching. "Dad, did you fucking throw up back there?!" Rooster shouts before remembering that the entire command center is eavesdropping, "I mean, er, sir, just hang in there."

hold me, baby (like a lover should) by vannral {E}

/Sloose/

’”C’mon, Goose, if you wanted me to show you good time, all you had to do was ask,” Slider drawls, his smooth voice taking a rough, almost husky edge.’ In which Slider and Goose have an encounter in the locker room and Goose comes to a shocking conclusion that oh shit, the feelings he has for Slider are more of romantic variety. Includes a lot of pining and sarcasm and supportive pilots who have their own show going on.

Family Dinner by Specter_Ross {G}

/Goosemav/

Rooster brings Jake to meet his dads Maverick and Goose. Jake is nervous, he wants to make a good impression. But when he breaks one of their plates, he's sure he ruined everything.

here in our bed (’til the morning comes) by vannral {E}

/Sloose & Icemav/

'”Are you sure?” Goose asks hopelessly, completely aware that he sounds whiny. The receptionist’s smile tightens. ”Very sure, sir,” she says, her tone still extremely polite. ”Two rooms, like I said.” Two rooms which – like she very patiently explained to him – also means two beds instead of four.' In which there’s Only One Bed™, both for Slider and Goose, and for Maverick and Iceman, because the RIOs won’t stand for their pilots pining anymore and can’t deny the affection for each other, either.

when the coast is gettin’ clearer by vannral {M}

/Sloose/

"It starts after Hop 31 and in retrospect Goose would like to point out he can’t be held responsible for not noticing any of it earlier because at that point, he’d been pretty much occupied. With straight-up not having a good time." In which Goose survives, there's something up with Slider and they both have to deal with their pilots. Or, five times Slider did something nice for Goose and one time Goose knew why.

our mighty wings by vannral {M}

/Sloose/

”Tower, this is Delta-324, asking permission to final approach… that you, Goose?” Goose gasps and nearly drops the clipboard, his heart slamming in his throat. ”Holy shit, Delta-324, Tower copy – Ron?” In which Goose becomes an air traffic controller after Top Gun and Slider’s a commercial pilot and they flirt over the comms much to the exasperation of everyone around them. They still have to deal with their own former pilots.

little taste of heaven by lesbiseresin {G}

/Gooserole/

“Go back to sleep, honey.” Part of Carole wants to push back. She’s the one who’s more used to waking up for this and Nick only got home from his deployment a few days ago. He deserves the rest. She opens her mouth to tell him that, but he shakes his head and lifts his hand to brush his thumb over her cheek. “It’s my turn.” (alternatively: a glimpse at the bradshaw family before it all)

the ships have come to carry you home by indigofudge {T}

/Platonic Goosemav/

“Here it is,” Carole says, bringing Mav’s wheelchair to a stop. Mav’s mouth is dry. He aches for another cup of water. “Carole, tell me something, and don’t lie to me.” “Anything, Maverick.” “How bad does he look?” Carole is quiet for a while. Then she comes around and kneels in front of Mav, taking both of his hands in her own. Her eyes swim with tears. “If I didn’t know any better,” she says, voice breaking, “I’d think he was dead.” Or, Goose is alive when they hit the water. That's enough.

Home is who I share it with by Lacerta {G}

/Goosemavrole/

Bradshaws get a house. Mav insists on giving them space, but the evidence of his love and care turns up everywhere. Or: the five times Mav goes all out to look after his friends, and the one time when Carole and Goose make their house a home.

tonight it’s very clear (‘cause we’re both lying here) by indigofudge {T}

/Goosemavrole/

Almost a year after Hop 31 left Goose disabled and medically discharged, Maverick uses his annual leave to stay with the Bradshaws in their Tennessee house. When he can't hide his insomnia anymore, Goose and Carole invite him to sleep in their bed with them, but it isn't long before they have to address the elephant in the room: What are they to each other? Or: Maverick, Goose, and Carole begin having late-night conversations about their relationship and Maverick's place in it.

Heaven Written. by pollyna {T}

/Sloose/

Five people, and five different occasions, who realise Goose and Slider are in love + one time they finally realise it for themselves (mostly).

wonder why i try to fight the chemistry by indigofudge {T}

/Goosemav/

Before Maverick can think better of it, he’s standing on his toes and kissing Goose's jaw. Goose’s pupils are blown wide. He gazes down at Maverick, lips parted. The dance floor lights illuminate him in all sorts of colors that travel over his hair and face. “Hollywood’s watching,” Maverick says, voice low. “Sorry. I shouldn’t—” “You didn’t do it right.” Goose leans down just the slightest bit and kisses him square on the mouth. * In the mid-90s, Hollywood and Wolfman errantly assume Goose and Maverick are dating. Is it really so errant after all?

hoping about this by teacupivy {T}

/Gooserole/

In a small town where gossip fuels anxiety, Carole's mom has the perfect groom picked out.

[ookaookaooka]

i think ive talked about my urge to be useful on here before, and now i think i've found the antidote to it.

basically, and this happens with virtually every problem i hear about, my ADHD combines with my need to have a place in the community and becomes this fantasy where i go "if only i drop everything and dedicate my life to solving [x problem], i will find purpose in my life and make the world a better place." that's all fine and dandy until this happens over and over and over and i wind up with a million dropped projects and a sense of failure. the problem here isnt the number of projects, it's the fact that i will volunteer for anything i think i could feasibly do, even if i'm already stretched thin, and even if i'm not the best person for the job. union needs organizing? i can do it! community center looking for people to teach computer literacy to seniors? i volunteer! state ferries looking for boiler techs? i'll drop everything and learn that trade! my state legislators are dragging their feet on implementing higher minimum wage? i can be a lobbyist!

but union organizing sucks and i left that job 2 years ago anyways. i don't know enough about computers to teach anyone about them. i have no interest in engineering, nor do i have aptitude. i can't read legalese and arguing about politics makes me cry. if i dedicated my life to any of these things i would be miserable! none of Real Life Lindsey's actual likes and dislikes apply to Fantasy Lindsey. Fantasy Lindsey's always ready to mold themself around any cause that comes their way. but i've come to discover that i can't just become passionate about whatever cause i throw myself at, i have likes and dislikes that i can't control. if i try and mold myself around a cause that i don't actually like, i will *always* be left with a nagging feeling of dissatisfaction. i like my job a lot, i like my apartment and i like where i live! but it's not where i feel called to be. i thought that stability and a good paycheck would make up for it not being something i'm passionate about, and it did for a while, but this isn't what i want to be doing.

anyways, long story short. whenever i catch myself putting myself in the shoes of The One Person Who Can Solve The Thing, i ask myself: will this make me happy? and if the answer is yes, then i can move forward with it. but if the answer is no, and it usually is, i drop all notions of actually doing it.

[animehouse-moe]

Kowloon Generic Romance Volume 3: The Walled City

Yes, I know I was at TCAF a week ago and I'm only now reading Kowloon volume 3, but it's just not been something I was really itching to read until this weekend. And I feel like letting it sit was worth it because this volume really grabbed me and made it feel like we were moving at a million miles an hour with its foreshadowing, timeline shenanigans, and the steamy but ill-fated romance between Kujirai and Kudou.

⚠️Warning: Volume 3 Spoilers Ahead⚠️

It's been quite some time since the last volume so a lot of this work feels fresh. One of the things that remains a talking point is of course the art, but I still really like the paneling and layouts of the manga. It feels plenty dense and full, mimicking the surroundings the comprise the walled city of Kowloon, but it all feels deliberate, as the space is used to its full potential in conveying character reactions or details.

Things as simple as a smile beginning to crack in a character's face.

Or grasping finer details and character acting with smaller panels to form an almost storyboard.

And then there's of course the spreads that Mayuzuki includes, which are just beautiful. Simple at times, for sure, but it doesn't detract from the wonderfully expressive and unique character designs, or their sense of motion throughout.

Anyways, hurtling towards the story, I'll certainly say it's not as "fun" as the first two volumes. It's not got as many curveballs as it gets into the nitty gritty, and admittedly that might be something people out there won't be a fan of. It pivots to a more central idea of focusing purely on the romance between Kujirai and Kudou, but rather than relegating any foreshadowing or theories to the background, just places them directly in plain sight. Though that doesn't mean Mayuzuki's hitting you over the head with a sign, as there's plenty of pieces that only poke their heads out. Take this first chapter for example.

There's two pieces that separate this groundhog day-esque situation. The first, Kujirai on the right doesn't have glasses on. And the second is that Kujirai is referred to as a senior in the left panel, while a junior/underling in the right.

You can see something similar with Kudou's observations vs the current Kujirai's circumstances.

This actually has a few pieces of importance placed in it. Obviously, first and foremost, is the little Gene Terra plushie. Kudou's observations of the old Kujirai mention that there's "nothing cute" in her apartment, whereas the plushie disqualifies that.

Additionally, and this is a massively out of left field, tinfoil hat theory, the flowers are different. I wouldn't have thought much myself if the meaning of a sunflower wasn't brought up in this volume. Anyways, I'm not an expert, but I think I've got 2 of the 3 flowers down. The bigger of the two flowers in the first arrangement is a Calla Lily, but I don't know what the other smaller ones are (the leaves are on separate stems). Regardless, a white Calla Lily is a very common and popular flower, and is used to represent beauty and purity. A bit of an interesting yes/no piece, as Kudou certainly sees Kujirai as pretty, but the purity part not so much. As for the second flower, there's a chance that it's a Spider Chrysanthemum, which is a flower that in Chinese culture (sorta works because it takes place in Kowloon) represents things such as a new life.

On to the second arrangement now, we've just got a hibiscus flower, whose meaning changes based on color. If it's orange, it's all about luck and good fortune, while red is centered around romance and love. Both of which work for Kujirai, so it's hard to really pick the correct one out.

So, to finally get to the point, there's a chance that Mayuzuki is using the flowers to tell a story of the two Kujirai's, the one that Kudou was infatuated with, and the one that is infatuated with Kudou. Hardly something that's a huge reveal or is important, but if true, is a really cool little detail to add.

Moving onward, there's a lot of very literal symbolism in how we approach the story and the characters this volume, with Gene Terra at the center of it consistently, thanks to pages like these.

Putting Kujirai into a diamond isn't exactly some abstract idea, as Gene Terra itself is represented as this shape. Similarly speaking, this volume continues the trend of an inverse person occupying somebody's space and life. Xiao Hei gives us a great example, but in a different direction than what we're used to.

This is the first time that a shadow/inverse character has spoken, so it's interesting to see how they speak. Xiao Hei uses the third person regardless, but they don't talk in the past tense.

What is it? The feeling of nostalgia personified, that chains a person to their surroundings? Their other half that arrived in Kowloon first and exist in some format on Gene Terra? It's hard to say, but it plays similarly into the whole conversation on sunflowers.

Kudou's immediately averse to them, and in a sense, sees them as someone watching him. Could it be true, or just a superstition? Another unanswerable question, but one that can help contextualize these inverse characters.

Speaking of Kudou, as I fly all around the place in terms of story, this little detail. A simple throwaway line, but one that fits perfectly considering the differences that Kudou's picked up on in regards to the differences of the two Kujirai's.

And the knowledge of that difference comes to a head with Kujirai in this volume, as she can no longer take the swings in mood and personality that Kudou exhibits. I think overall, it's an interesting conversation that a lot of people end up tackling in media, what comprises the self.

Kujirai contends that she chooses what to wear and how to act, but Kudou fires back. Before the conversation can be concluded though, it's cut short by Kujirai fainting. A very weird twist of fate that makes it feel like the mask of Gene Terra is slipping.

And, before this volume you'd think, "Nah, there's no way that Gene Terra could do something like that", but it's hard to discount with what we know now. A futuristic city lurking outside of Kowloon, a discussion and desire of the absolute. Doppelgangers and/or lookalikes that slink away from the walled city. Hallways and passageways that shift and seal to hide away changes. There's a whole lot of sci-fi that seeps its way into the story, and establishes another interesting concept atop it.

A fight against nostalgia.

[homenecromancer]

[This post is a reprint of an interview with NaRae Lee conducted at San Diego Comic Con 2009, by Deb Aoki for about.com. I have removed web links so that this post will hopefully appear in tags -- please click the source link if you want to click and see, like, archived versions of Yen Press's website.]

Interview: NaRae Lee

Manhwa artist for James Patterson's Maximum Ride

By Deb Aoki, About.com

To celebrate the first birthday of Yen Plus magazine, Yen Press invited Korean comics artist NaRae Lee as their special guest at San Diego Comic-Con 2009. Lee is the artist behind the graphic novel adaptation of James Patterson's bestselling Maximum Ride novels for young adults that is currently being serialized monthly in the pages of Yen Plus.

Discovered by Yen Press Senior Editor JuYoun Lee, NaRae was able to make her U.S. debut working on a series that already had legions of devoted fans. It's a lot to live up to, but NaRae proved to be up to the challenge by delivering artwork that looks remarkably polished for a relative newbie to the world of international manga publishing.

This visit to San Diego was NaRae's first visit to the United States, and unfortunately, the trip from Korea to Southern California wasn't an easy one for her. The effects of jet-lag took their toll on the petite yet hard-working artist, which forced Yen Press to cancel her first planned autograph session on Friday afternoon. NaRae did manage to make it to the convention center to meet her fans on Saturday afternoon, which is when I caught up with her to ask a few questions.

NaRae tends to draw herself as a pudgy, chibi character in her artist's notes in Yen Plus, but in reality, she's a slender, shy and soft-spoken young woman who seemed somewhat surprised to see the line of fans who came to meet her and get her autograph. Yen Press Senior Editor JuYoun Lee kindly translated our conversation.

Q: Welcome to San Diego Comic-Con. It's great to have you here.

NaRae Lee: I'm happy to be here too.

Q: Did you see anything in the Exhibit Hall that you thought was really exciting and cool?

NaRae Lee: I've been sick (since I got to San Diego from Korea), so this is actually the first time that I've been to the convention center.

Q: Ah, too bad. I hope you get to see more of it over the next two days. When you got the call to do Maximum Ride, had you heard of the books before?

NaRae Lee: I didn’t know about them at first.

Q: What were your impressions when you read the script? Did anything strike you in particular that made you think, 'Wow, I should work on this project?'

NaRae Lee: I liked the characters a lot. They each had their own distinctive characteristics and personalities, so that was the big appeal for me.

Q: Which is your favorite character to draw?

NaRae Lee: Character-wise, my favorite is Iggy, but when I'm drawing I enjoy drawing Max the most.

Q: Why is that?

NaRae Lee: The way I'm drawing the character is like a lot of my taste, so I likes how the eyes and the clothes she wears came out. I'm enjoying drawing her very much.

Q: I was really impressed when I first saw your art for Maximum Ride. It's very accomplished, very professional-looking, and it reads very nicely. Is this your first long series?

NaRae Lee: Thank you. Yes, it's my first major series.

Q: Has it been an adjustment creating a new chapter on a monthly schedule?

NaRae Lee: It’s been tough.

Q: Do you have time to do other things, like draw your own manga stories?

NaRae Lee: I also have my own story, a manga that is currently being published in a Korean anthology. That also has a monthly deadline. That one is fortunately only eight pages a month, but still, because I'm juggling the two deadlines I've been having a tough time.

Q: What is the title and what is it about?

NaRae Lee: It’s called Sweetie Milky Propose and it’s for younger girls. It’s like a comedy, also has a bit of a romance going on. It's about four fairies from Milkland coming into the human world to find their princess, who doesn’t know she is a princess. It's very funny.

Q: That sounds cute -- I hope to see it some time! So how did you and JuYoun (Lee, Senior Editor of Yen Press) find each other?

NaRae Lee: (turns to JuYoun) You would know better about that!

JuYoun Lee:Well, there is like an anthology that her school puts out. I saw her like short story there and I immediately liked her art style. I thought she would be perfect for Maximum Ride, so I contacted her.

Q: Ah wow, so straight from college. So how long have you been drawing manga?

NaRae Lee: I've been drawing since I was in like fourth or fifth grade in elementary school. I also went to an animation high school, not just college, so I've been drawing for a long time.

Q: So what is the curriculum like at an animation university? Is it like mostly animation classes or is it like animation and regular school subjects?

NaRae Lee: Well, the college I go to is a manga college and my high school specialized in animation. You can also major in manga at the animation high school as well.

Q: So now that you've devoted so much of your life to drawing, what do you think is your greatest strength as an artist and what is the hardest thing for you to do?

NaRae Lee: I can’t really pinpoint my strong point because I think I'm still a newbie. So maybe the fact that I have lots of possibilities in front of me might be my strongest point.

The toughest thing that I have to deal with as I draw Maximum Ride is that the story is set in the States and this is literally my first chance I've had to visit North America. Because I'm based in Korea, it's tough to find all the reference photos and trying to imagine like (the various locations described in the script) is going to look like. This has been the hardest thing.

Q: Have you met Mr. Patterson? Have you talked with him?

NaRae Lee: (shakes her head) Ah, no. Not yet.

Q: Ah, too bad. Maybe sometime on your next visit to the U.S. Okay, so I know your fans who are for your autograph session are eager to talk to you, but do you have a special message for the fans who couldn’t join you here today?

NaRae Lee: Thank you very much for reading the books.

[curioussubjects]

in which i revisit black market and it's worse somehow

for reasons even i find elusive, i read the transcript for rdm's podcast episode on "black market" (i know i know), but i really do appreciate the spirit behind this particular pod episode. i just. it's just. y'all....you cannot make this stuff up:

"there is no socioeconomic structure beyond the Rag Tag Fleet. There's no government. There's no social system. There's no nothing. Other than these particular ships. Isn't everything black market? Isn't everything to be bartered?" there's so much going on here. like. what do you mean there's no government or social system. the fleet literally has an executive and legislative branch. the executive literally has an enforcement arm through the military. ron please. 😭😭 the idea there's no social system is also bizarre when there's no indication the colonial social system wasn't reproduced down to caprican hegemony. also love the implication that the presence of a barter system nearly if not completely equates to the existence of a black market. that's. that-. hm. what i do think is interesting here though is that a black market existing isn't actually, imo, a foregone conclusion. that it exists at all suggests: 1. there seems to be no enforcement of the rule of law, 2. no regulation of trade, and 3. the government isn't adequately meeting the needs of the fleet with supply distribution.

sometimes i remember rdm has a polisci degree and i want to jump into a river.

but anyway, some of this stuff is discussed in the writer's room and all i can think about is how in the world did anybody think a topic this huge could fit into one standard episode of television. a lot of the bulk could be done in one episode, but you'd be returning to this as subplots and background commentary in future episodes.

"I was really disappointed in the show and myself and what we had done and didn't feel like the episode really had anything going for it." yeah man no fucking shit. you can't build a story out of vibes alone 😭

"You never quite get at the satisfaction of truly having gone through a plot that you had no idea where it was gonna go and you're shocked where it ended up. And you're not really sitting back and going, "My God. Lee Adama is nothing like I thought he was." It just doesn't- it falls in between. It's classically standing on the two chairs and falling in between both of them." the problem you're having is that you never connect what's going on with the black market plot with what's going on with lee. there's no line there beyond right place right time. clearly there's an ethical issue here in that lee is complicit with the black market. THAT'S what's interesting. our ethical center character, who values justice and the law is complicit in something that is happening outside of legal purview and also harms and exploits people. and then culminates with lee doing some light extrajudicial killing. but we never sit with any of it. much less see it play out in future episodes.

which is why this following bit kills me : "Tigh and Ellen and Ellen's involvement in the black market and she's getting things for Tigh, who is a senior officer in Galactica. There's a whiff of corruption here and what does it mean? We're not gonna- we don't take the easy way out. Tigh isn't shocked at what his wife is doing and promises never to do it again. He understands what she's doing. There is an implication that, "Who knows what else Ellen Tigh is doing with Commander Fisk?" I'm not sure that's a picture I want in my mind, but, ok. And Lee is also a bit dirty in this scene. Lee is also engaged in things that are probably not that above-board. There's an implication that Lee helped get the medicine for the little girl and probably went outside official channels. And it's a personal, emotional, confrontation with people with conflicted and conflicting motivations." THAT'S THE EPISODE! RIGHT THERE! YOU HAD IT!

the episode is about ethics, a government failing its people, and complacency. you want an episode of television without having to make a mini arc out of it? those are your themes.

then there's the clusterfuck that is the gianne/shevon/dee portion of the episode, which makes no gd sense AND HERE'S WHY LMAO: "It's not really getting to a place where we're explaining, or at least hinting, or making you think about what is the nature of the relationship between Dualla and Lee. Why is Lee interested in her and vice versa? What does it mean to him as a character? We had conversations in the writers' room that dealt with things like, "Well, Lee's got the girl he left behind on Caprica, he's seeing the prostitute, and then there's Dualla." So there's the classic- there's three women in Lee's life. One dead, two not. What does Dualla represent in that? What is- what is Dualla to Lee in juxtaposition to the dead woman and to the hooker with the little girl? Is she the hope? Is she the future? Is she something more realistic? Is the hooker the hope? There's a lot of ways you can just sit and talk about it endlessly about what it all represents, and it was all fascinating conversation. Unfortunately it just doesn't quite sync-in to what we have. You don't ever- you never quite get to a place where you're rooting for Lee and Dualla. I think that's might be the central problem with it. You're never quite rooting for her."

truly mysterious why this doesn't work rdm. boggles the mind.

he offers no explanation as to why it doesn't work, btw, it's all just "???"

we're not rooting for dee because lee doesn't actually want her. just like he didn't actually want gianne.

meanwhile shevon is the epitome of lee playing it safe. he's obviously lonely and in need of talking to someone, and having emotional and physical intimacy. he wants it without the possibility of being too vulnerable or hurting someone else when he runs. through shevon we understand some of the reasons why lee left gianne. through his relationship with shevon and gianne, we can begin to see what might underlie lee's budding relationship with dee.

and then perhaps we remember lee's behavior during the miniseries. and then maybe we watch scar next and a couple more things become clear.

we're not rooting for dee because we're rooting for someone else entirely. (kara. it's kara.)

i am in the tantrum hole.

"we're playing that Zarek needs to tell Lee about Phelan and about this ship out there where you can get anything you want that's the hub or the nexus of the black market. And yet everybody else seems to know about it. It's clearly the place where all this activity is going, but somehow Lee needs to be told by Zarek that it even exists, which tends to undercut Lee's role as an investigator and the procedural aspect starts to feel a bit weak because you feel like he should've- Lee should've known all that on his own and again, it's an element that doesn't work"

OR it could be something about complacency, a failure in governance, and how out much the Galactica is actually a bubble. very interesting concept for lee who feels disconnected after RS2.

it's not that lee's obliviousness doesn't work, it's that he has the privilege of not needing to think about it. he could even already be seeing shevon and thinking it's all above board like it was back in the colonies, not realizing there's a criminal enterprise going on that is exploiting desperate people.

what happens when lee does learn about how bad it is out there in the fleet?

that's your episode set up.

"When Lee shoots him, you should feel that he shoots him because, "Oh my God! I'm realizing that he is like Bill Duke and oh! Woah! I'm like shocked. And that's- I don't know how I feel about Lee, but I'm really surprised because he's more like Bill Duke than I thought." I don't think the show really says that. I don't think we've accomplished that mission. And that should have been the mission here, is if you're going to predicate a whole show on this concept, about this central confrontation it should pay off that idea." that should not have been the mission there omfg. lee shoots this man because he's doing fucked up shit. the shocking moment isn't that lee is like the bad guy, the shocking thing is that mr. articles of colonization did an extrajudicial killing. he executed a man without due process.

the question here is: is lee more like his father and laura roslin than he'd like to admit? if so, what is he going to do about it?

and btw, is lee like his father completely ties back to a possible reason why he runs from gianne: he saw himself marrying a woman he got pregnant, thus repeating the story of his parents. and it doesn't need to be 1:1 exactly, but there are too many similarities for his comfort. so he runs.

and another theme: lee doing what he knows is the right thing to do vs. lee doing what he thinks is the Right thing to do. and to what extent does lee hide behind duty because he's scared of going after what he wants. (and oh look at that we're back to kara)

this scene is interesting because lee does something he felt in the moment to be right (and he does it on impulse, which is another bit of tension with his character in other episodes), but he also acted against his ethical code. what are the effects of that? how does lee grapple with that? WE JUST DON'T KNOW

i am still in the tantrum hole.

"I think if I had to sum up what's wrong with this episode in my opinion, it's that this time we went for a much more tv, conventional tale and execution." narrator: that's not what was wrong with the episode. "So again it's a grab bag of things we're trying to do." narrator: that's more like it.

incredible podcast though it's like 10/10 reflection 0/10 insight. showrunner of all time this guy.

[sunskate]

Has IAM.O turned out how you thought it would when you started the blog?

I think I was less critical than others of CPom in that first season. Looking back, I remember Charlie White saying that he didn’t get the music shift in the Wicked Game program and felt it didn’t hang together — I didn’t take that seriously because I never found DW’s programs or artistry to be compelling. (But easier to pick apart a program as a commentator than to actually provide your students with good material, eh?)

I always felt Scott and his team would do good work, but I was not optimistic that the teams he had would have the talent/tenacity to move up in mostly crowded fields in their home countries. I’ve been really surprised at the level of success the IAM.O team has had with their junior program as well as with the senior teams.

i thought Scott had the personality to be a good coach, he obviously brings a lot to the table, but it takes time to find yourself when you do something new, so i didn’t have any expectations of IAMO. it’s been a pleasure to follow though

Charlie made a Wicked Game long program for Vanessa James and M*rg*n C*pr*s in 2018-19. so he probably had strong opinions on it. it didn’t seem disrespectful to me. i’m like you, i'm not drawn to DW's style or most of their programs. but i did like the tango program MIDA made for Wolfkostin/Tsarevskiy this season. i think they have a fundamentally wrong take on who Gr/Pa are, though - putting Charlie choreo on Michael and not taking advantage of Caroline's dance ability, idgi. MIDA feels like they're operating skating-wise and music wise from the era they know - Charlie said he thinks all the time what would Marina do. well, Marina did that at least 10 years ago. but we'll see where they go from here

by comparison, IAMO feels more versatile and in present time. i think they *see* their teams, meaning they get who they're working with and are meeting them where they are rather than trying to mold them after themselves. and i appreciate that they recognize when they need to pivot and tend to nail the adjustments - like Haley and Nik's samba RD - the program was a little sleepy in the fall, but they got so sharp between fall and Nationals that season. or the work they've been doing on CPom's programs this season. you feel guidance with good instincts behind work that feels centered on the people who are going out on the ice. "do it like you can," rather than about getting them to meet an expectation

similar to what CPom were saying, i’m wondering if Scott’s thinking if he focuses on growing the teams in the right way, the results will follow. it’s been true so far

[thistransient]

Not gonna lie, I was rather surprised by the Beitou Refuse Incineration Plant Observation Platform. I went on a whim because I was feeling moody, and evidently bafflement is sometimes a good way to evict melancholy. I biked there and, after trying to make sense of google maps, took a very inconvenient pedestrian/cyclist overpass bridge that led to an unpleasant intersection. Only when I got to the Ubike station did I realise I could have gone directly over the flood wall ramp and saved a lot of hassle. There was nothing at the entrance except a small lobby (barren but for an unoccupied desk) housing two elevators (one with an outside window, only goes directly to the platform and the restaurant, one internal with more floor options). It was surreally unlit and quiet (besides some gentle ventilation noise), and I thought I was the only one there for a while, but eventually after coming round to the side facing the city center I realised there was in fact one other person sitting there silently by himself (was he going to murder me for disturbing his peace? Good thing I was only talking to myself briefly in the beginning. Was he my soulmate, because surely I was destined to be with the sort of person who also goes alone to an empty Incineration Plant Observation Platform at 4pm on a Wednesday? This thought was quashed when some senior citizens arrived, presumably from the restaurant).

I had expected staff, or visitors, or displays, or something (hey I'm not complaining that there weren't, it was an interesting experience and delightfully quiet) but at any rate it was free and had some cool views of the rivers and mountains (although you can't see anything actually being incinerated in the plant itself, as far as I could tell). I didn't bother to check out the restaurant but I'd definitely go again just for the heck of it. I almost wish I'd stayed for the sunset, which was unexpectedly gorgeous, but I was also hungry so I made the executive decision to start the trek home sooner than later (good choice).

[decadentrot]

2023 🎉🎉🎉

Ok new year and I thought since this blog is basically an archive of my fandom art, I'd also archive some "milestone" art and archive my reflection for the last year. Basically, I love art and I've always wanted to one day publish my own original comic/graphic novel and I've had this dream art school that I've always wanted to go to and then senior year rolled around and... I didnt submit my portfolio. Partially due to financial reasons, but mostly because I just hated my art (like most artist) and so I decided to take a "gap year" to take online courses and "fix" my art, but then I just didnt have enough money to even finish the courses so i just really gave up yk. I got very demoralized about school in general and thought art would just be a hobby and I should consider getting a "real job" as many of my family members would say, it didnt help that all of my friends were leaving for college and I was stuck at home. And so in my loneliness, I then created this blog because I still wanted someway to do art and be creative and share stupid ideas about my favorite characters and honestly I really really really enjoyed making fandom art. And after getting out of my slump and getting much encouragement from my friends/dad and lots of nights staying up with my anxiety as company, I decided I really should just do it and submit the portfolio and if I get in I get in and I should not be afraid to get loans and not let my financial problems get in the way of my happiness and wants. So I talked to the admission counselor and finally submitted my Illustration (Entertainment Arts Track) portfolio to ✨Art Center: College of Design✨ and a couple months later I actually got accepted woooo

So I'm sharing my accepted ACCD portfolio to by no means flex my art, I mean the anatomy and perspective still needs a lot of work and my traditional art in general isnt the cleanest, but when talking to the admission counselor, she definitely did see my faults but she also pointed out how even if my technical work isn't as polished, thats exactly what school is for: to learn and get better! And to be surrounded by likeminded people who also have a passion for art (and make those industry connections!) And something more eye opening I learned from her was that art isnt suppose to be perfect and "realistic," especially in the entertainment arts industry, what matters more is telling the story and making compelling characters. While knowing every muscle of the human anatomy is useful, as long as you get the message and purpose across, its good! (I mean look at the origins of one punch man).

Corny message aside, for as much as I was stressed during the beginning of this year, I ended up really enjoying it after all. I'm still improving my art and I still have to worry about my financial issues and college, but overall I spent these last couple days with family/friends and doing personal art projects and I'm relatively happy with my art and my OCs. My SumRec comic will probably be postponed by like a week maybe cause I've been busy with family and friends and obviously I haven't been posting a lot of my fandom art due to RL stuff, but when I actually have alone time to work on it and im satisfied, then it will be posted !! So for anyone who read through this post, I hope you maybe get some enjoyment from my art portfolio and also enjoyed last year and I hope this new year will be even better !! (And if your an artist, keep going and creating !!) 🎉

Bonus: Not part of my portfolio, but during my junior year of high school, I wanted to actually complete an animation instead of a bunch of animatics, so I did! Its incredibly rushed and my old art is cringe, but it was my first completed animation of some very old OCs and their potential intro sequence if they had a TV showヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ:

[aria-i-adagio]

Educational Musings

I'm mulling through several options for just what I do when this school year ends. Most likely, this school district would be willing to offer me a half-time contract in the fall, and the teacher shortage is enough that if I work a couple of contacts, I might be able to negotiate half-time in the neighboring county (which would pay better). Full time is definitely out because I don't hate myself enough to be absolutely miserable again.

I could also do a semester as a post-grad volunteer at a university counseling center. It'd be a drive, but I like working with college students as much as with adolescents, I could limit my hours to the 20-25/week which doesn't leave me miserable and chronically exhausted, I like the supervisor, and it would be an appropriate reswing back toward counseling before applying to 'real' jobs. It would also be ideal for combining trips to audit the Dx class since the DSM has been revised.

I haven't hated being back in the classroom, but I'll admit that is partially because my attitude right now is "y'all need me more than I need you." They know I'll walk if they don't keep me reasonably happy. (Okay, I wouldn't walk midyear without a very good reason, because the kids do deserve better.)

I picked up one section of English to help make up for a teacher leaving mid-year. It's senior English, so there's no end of course test, and I can pretty much do whatever I want. Even flying by the seat of my pants, I'm enjoying it. We're reading "The Things They Carried" because I didn't think the textbook selections dug deeply enough in the experiences of war veterans. I was able to give a unit assignment/project with a lot of creative options as alternatives to traditional essays. Next, I'm using the inclusion of a speech of Gandhi's to make them read Dr. King's "Letter from the Birmingham Jail." There's a lot more freedom in English (at least Senior English - I suspect it's not as much the case with the tested ELA classes) than in math.

Even with math, I still like the challenge of trying to figure out the best way to present the material. I wish I had sufficient time to create more in the way of custom curriculum materials - especially after reviewing the textbooks being considered for adoption. There has to be a way to teach math as a system of thought, rather than disjointed parts.

And yeah, I like working with teenagers. They're damn fascinating, particularly when you give them space to express themselves.

I like teaching in many ways, I just have a low tolerance for bullshit, and there's a lot of bullshit. I think I could be a very good teacher, but not with all the restrictions currently in place. I haven't bothered looking up the current laws in TN regarding classroom libraries. I won't have such a thing if I continue teaching, I'll just have books that I absent-mindedly left lying around and if someone takes one, well, I'm too scatterbrained to keep up with things like that. Obviously.

The real issue, which I suspect might be more of a math problem than an ELA problem, is that I can't actually teach what the kids in my classroom need. Even pre-pandemic, we had a problem with a majority of students arriving without the prerequisite knowledge to handle high school math. Post pandemic, even my best students are still struggling with algebra, and if I spend the time I really should be to remediate the gaps, I won't cover the geometry content. The test scores aren't going to be pretty this year. I don't know how I'm supposed to be a good teacher when I can't respond to where the students actually are. (And god knows, loosing time to benchmark assessments, data analysis meetings, etc. does not help. I already know they're behind.)

This doesn't even get into my significant differences in philosophy with the powers that be about what education should accomplish. I hate that I'm subsidizing a system which, at this point, primarily appropriates student and teacher labor to make money for a handful of companies publishing standardized assessments. I hate that I feel like a political football when I read the news. I hate that instead of teaching students to be curious, to ask good questions, to look for evidence, to point out flaws in arguments, to challenge assumptions, the only thing truly valued is the ability to get questions right on a standardized test. (The introduction to the revision of the academic standards for math actually said they were switching focus in Geometry back to numeric problems - i.e. those with one and only one answer and thus can be tested in a standardized fashion.) I truly feel that the current educational system needs to be burnt to the ground and rebuilt along radically different lines.

The trouble is that I'm not sure counseling will be that much better - at least not until I reach the point where I can open a private practice with a helluva sliding scale. Meeting metrics for a for-profit chain, standardized screenings, manualized treatment plans, subtle nudges to prioritize economic productivity as a sign of 'mental health', and in many cases, the not so subtle use of counseling and 'behavioral health' as coercion. I think I'll be just as pissed off and stressed out.

I don't know... Writing is the only thing that makes me consistently happy. I need to find a way to live off that.