#i'm gonna kill jake paul with nothing but my fucking teeth i am ripping him to shreds and feeding him to the sharks

[astramachina]

having a pleasantly normal conversation with my parents where i briefly mention that what i'm currently working on is deeply rooted in PR culture etc etc

dad: you should write about that new t-mobile place. me: the what? mom: oh yeah! the t-mobile destrict! they took a solid chunk of Old San Juan and turned it into some urban adventure park with restaurants and stuff. it's real gaudy. dad: you know. americanizing us for tourists and shit. it looks like disney world but everything is pink. me: ah yes, the sweet smell of gentrification. i feel like i know exactly who i can blame this on.

on second thought i don't even need a monster to make this a horror story! what the fuck!