#i'm gonna email this to my sister so she can print it out and i can tuck it into my diary... never wanna lose this

[almaasi]

hey, i just wanted to thank you. it's been a year or so since i left the supernatural fandom, because it ended up being a really bad environment for me and reminds me of bad experiences, but i was talking with a friend tonight and they mentioned one of your fics, (roost, specifically) and we were discussing how much we both love your work and i'm just really overwhelmed right now thinking about how much your writing has impacted me. try something tuesday will always hold a special place (1/?)

in my heart as the fic i always reread when i was having a bad night or just wanted to remind myself that life isn’t always bad and thing will work out eventually. i read foxfire blossom downloaded on my computer at a camp where there were no other gay kids and i had no internet or cell service. it left me screaming into my pillow at two am and brought me so so much joy, not to mention how much it taught me (a young, impressionable child) about proper communication in relationships and how (2/?)

no matter how much it felt like i had to grow up and marry a man and have babies and be the perfect straight cis woman that society wanted of me, that didn’t have to be the end, and i could be in a gay relationship and still have a home and be happy. again, young, impressionable kid - the honest and real and beautiful way you wrote about lgbt people and the love we have for each other probably impacted me even more than i can tell. and hart of the storm. oh my god, hart of the storm. i have (3/?

no words to describe how much that story blew me away. it left me completely shaken and emotional and was one of the most powerful things i’ve ever read. i remember how excited i used to get when i got an email from ao3 that you’d posted something new. my time in the fandom coincided with a really rough period of my life, and to be completely honest, there were times when one of the only reasons i could think of to stay alive was that you were going to post a new fic soon, and i wanted to (4/?)

be able to read it. your writing brought light and hope to some of my darkest days, and it gave me something to look forward to when i felt like there was nothing left that could make me happy anymore. when i first figured out that i was autistic, and i went online and saw that you’d written fics with autistic cas, being able to have other experiences that i could relate to, in a format that i was able to understand, and by an author that i’d always admired, it helped me gain the confidence (5/?

to stim in front of my friends and explain to them why i sometimes had trouble speaking when it was too loud in the room and begin to learn how to work with my brain, and not against it. you and your writing have had such an incredible impact on my life, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything. (6/6)

//

this message has me shook, in the literal sense. i’m trembling. i just read this 10 times over. i have no words, friend. i can’t think past the haze of emotion to express how utterly i appreciate this and how much it means to me, and how much i want to never, ever, ever forget this message so i can remember it every. single. day. and use its power to keep going in my own fight, and always keep creating.

i’m so glad your friends are so understanding and accepting!! (you bonding over my stories is so cool to me??? so cool.)

this is gonna sound internet-person cliché, but sometimes it’s hard for me to visualise the folks who are reading my stories - i know whatever i say or share is impacting someone in some small way, but even the messages i get from friends are still pixels on a screen, y’know? i always feel kinda distant and removed from the people as opposed to the statistics, as much as i try not to be. but your words are so important to me, you are important to me, and i’m so utterly grateful you shared this ;u;

thank you for the honour of letting my stories help you, anon. i appreciate that you chose life, firstly, but i’m extra glad you used my upcoming works as an incentive. (even more reason for me to carry on writing, right? i may never know who’s counting on it.)

the fact you mentioned ‘hart of the storm’ is especially exciting to me, since that one is akin to the novel-like stories i dream of writing in the future, and i wasn’t really sure if many people liked it. it feels good to get some feedback.

i hope you find yourself on the path that’ll lead you to more happiness and healthy relationships with friends and fandoms. i wish good things your way, indefinitely ♥

//

(links to the Dean/Cas fics mentioned)

Roost (12k domestic chicken AU)

Try-Something Tuesday (48k teacher AU)

Foxfire Blossom (283k flower shop AU)

Hart of the Storm (119k historical fantasy AU)

all of my fics with autistic!Cas so far

ALL of my fics (currently 66 fics comprising of 1,857,762 words) (i’m aiming to hit 2 million words by the end of 2017)

[thatssonanii]

Benny's Rage

HAHN

Even though Eddie had relocated to Savannah to be with his new family and to better himself, he still had undercover work in Maxine. Meaning he still had to work at the police station until his job was done. During the day he worked his shift as normal, careful to ignore Lushion, Esperanza, Steven and everyone else who made his temper flare. And at night he would drive back to work on any paperwork he had so he wouldn't be bothered. Cameron usually tagged along but he was helping Caleb out so Eddie brought his other brother. Benny.

Benny sat at the desk in front if Eddie's, turning back and forth in the chair texting Melissa. He didnt mind coming with Eddie, it was nice to spend a little more time with his other big brother.

"Do me a favor, B. Pull up the email it should already be signed in, open the one that says Collision #2428 a d print out the attached documents, please." Eddie asked focused on the screen in front of him.

Benny nodded, placing his phone aside to do what was asked of him. He printed the documents a d passed them to Eddie. When he went to close out the email, he saw a message that caught his eye. Looking briefly at his brother before opening the email.

Ed,

Everything is as you asked. Attached are the audio files. You know have the only ones as all originals were destroyed. Do what you will with them. Nothing remains, not even a complaint.

N.

Again, Benny looked at his brother, forwarded the email to himself then deleted it from the sent and trash box once he received it to his phone.

"Hey, I'm gonna run to the corner store. You want something?" Benny asked standing from his seat.

"Uuuh," Eddie thought typing away at his keyboard. "Nah, I'm good. You go head. I should be finished when you get back."

When Benny got to Eddie's truck, he started it up and connected his phone to the radio. He looked around carefully before starting the audio. An older female's voice was the first thing he heard.

"Alright, I'm gonna need you to state your name and age."

"Alaina Egypt Parker and I'm 16."

"Thank you, Alaina. You know why you're here don't you?"

"Yes, my brother, Zion, told you what happened."

"Yeah," the older woman paused, "He did. He told me that someone that lives with you has been abusing you."

"They don't live with me but yes."

"Okay so can you tell me about what happened?"

There was a long pause but Benny was focused on listening for every word, every sound. He didn't want to miss anything.

"Umm...when Zion moved out when I was 14 one of my other brothers started coming in my room. Sometimes my dad would send him in there."

"Coming into your room to do what, Alaina?"

Again silence followed by sniffling, Benny squeezed his fist closed tight. Sure he had heard Lainey telling their mama what happen but to hear 16 year old Lainey telling made him even angrier.

"Alaina? Why are you crying? What's going on?"

"I don't like thinking about it."

"The only way you'll start to feel better is by talking about. Take your time and tell me what happened."

"He was coming in my room to rape me. I didn't want him to."

"Did you say 'no'?"

"Yeah, I said no, stop, get off and he wouldn't. So I just laid there until he got off of me."

For the next forty five minutes, Benny listened to all three audio files. By the time he was done listening to Lainey go into detail about what had been done to her, what was happening around her and how it was affecting her Benny was more than pissed. He was raging on the inside. He had never felt this type of rage that burned up his insides before. Something had to be done.

Next thing he knew Eddie was knocking on the window to be let in. Benny drove home engaging I'm conversation with his brother like nothing was wrong, it surprised himself how calm he was.

When they got to the house both men jumped out Eddie's truck but Benny headed towards his car catching Eddie off guard.

"Where you goin, B?" Eddie asked.

"Gonna run by Katheryn's house to make sure she's aight. Mama had mentioned earlier that her boyfriend was outta town and she gets a lil antsy by herself. I'll be back.'

Eddie didnt think twice about it, he nodded and went straight into the house as Benny sped down the empty nighttime street. Remembering the house Cameron rode by before, he went straight there, waiting across the street for the right time.

Once he was sure it was okay, he pulled the gun Caleb had given him for emergencies from under the passenger seat and got out. Briskly, he walked across the street to the house slipping into the backyard. Just as he thought the backdoor was unlocked.

Walking through the house, Benny searched for the house's only occupant. Going to the second floor, Benny found him in what looked to him like an office. His back was turned while he talked on the phone.

"Ayo, my man."

Turning in his chair, Bishop disconnected his call coming face to face with Benny.

"Real big brother, right?" Bishop laughed.

"I'm glad you remember."

"What do you want, big brother? Its the middle of the night. Dont you have a family to see about? Where's LayLay?"

Benny stared at the older man trying to calm his nerves.

"Her name is Alaina or Lainey. You think that was good what you did? You think that shit was cool?" He asked crossing the room slowly.

Bishop laughed again leaning back in his chair. "Yeah, I do think it was good. I enjoyed it, I wouldn't mind doing it again. So what?"

Running up on him, Benny hit Bishop in his head with the butt of the gun repeatedly until he bled. He pulled him on the floor kicking him in his side.

"Yeah, ain't shit funny now, huh? You wanna laugh now?"

Bishop held his side, coughing up blood. "All this for that simple bitch. She ain't worth this shit."

It was Benny's turn to laugh. "See that's where you're wrong, shes worth everything and then some. That's why I'm here now."

"What ....what you want, man? A fuckin apology?"

Benny kicked him again. "What I want is to take something from you since you took everything from my sister."

"In the safe....look in my safe," Bishop coughed. "Theres some money in there for her. Just take it."

"I don't want your fuckin money and neither does she. I came for your life," Benny spat.

"You ain't got no heart, lil nigga," he laughed spitting out blood.

Chuckling, Benny pointed the gun to his head. Bishop started to protest but Benny had pulled the trigger. Thankfully, Caleb had put a silencers on them.

Taking one last look, Benny left the office with his phone to his ear calling to get the cleaners that worked for Caleb. His job was done and his rage had subsided.