#i'm going to shabbos services tomorrow since i miss my community so much | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shalom-iamcominghome · 2 months ago

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So, I've been a bit open about my mental health on here since it affects how I experience and interact with judaism, but I'm wondering how you all balance it? I've found that antisemitism does not specifically cause the recent episode/s I have been having, but it makes them worse, and I find that it makes it even harder to engage with judaism, so I'm currently in a Sisyphean spiral. I guess for me, my brain has been so high-alert about this stuff that it completely shuts down, but not engaging with my jewish community is just as detrimental to my health as antisemitism is. Plus, I'm just angry at the thought that something like antisemitism would prevent me from being with my community.

#jumblr #jewish politics #antisemitism tw #personal thoughts tag #i'm going to shabbos services tomorrow since i miss my community so much #i am very protective over my community. i've reached papa bear levels of being protective about them. so it does hurt when i can't be there #bonus points to those of you with bipolar/PTSD/schizophrenia/anything i might be missing #just because i find those to be underrepresented in general. and also because it might help me out personally.....#to be clear i don't mind if anyone with any condition (or perhaps even none) contribute respectfully! this isn't an Exclusive Conversation #i don't even know how i am going to explain to them why i missed so much. i feel so behind right now #i emailed my rabbi so hopefully we can schedule a meetup and i can pour my soul out about it haha #it sucks talking about this but i really don't have mentally ill jews to talk to offline (as far as i know)#but i am open with my offline community about my issues so i don't think this will surprise them #i'm trying to work through my toxic masculinity surrounding shame about how my mental health presents so i'm pushing myself to be more open #though i will say that if someone is reading this and thinks they can trigger psychosis or whatever: it's not going to work like that

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