#i'm going through some stuff right now

[aggravateddurian]

WIP Wednesday Whenever: Pain and Suffering Edition

I was tagged by: @shivsghost @ouroboros-hideout and @gloryride for WIP Wednesday, which I am doing on Friday. You'll understand if you keep reading.

I have been fairly inactive this week...

I have aged approximately six weeks in three days. I've been working long days 8am-4:30pm in nonstop meetings, workshops and other activities at work. As such, coming home leaves me with little energy to do a lot. I take a few photos, maybe write a little bit of stuff, but otherwise I haven't been terribly active, so far as creative stuff is concerned.

Virtual Photography

I've got a President's Lady (Vega x Rosalind Myers) set coming out tonight. Otherwise I've got nothing in the VP space.

CyberNoir is on hold, alongside my fics, until after I've recovered from the psychological toll the past three days have put on me.

Writing

I've put a pause on writing my main fics this week because I've been so busy at work.

I finally published Chapter 1 of my original Science Fiction piece 'Freerunners' (via Tumblr for now, until I find a suitable hosting site). Check it out!

I've also published a short story about Vincent Gonzalez (my Male V) and his (very very short-lived) relationship with Panam, called 'Repulse'. Check it out here.

I'm going to tag @wanderingaldecaldo, @streetkid-named-desire and @olath124. Sorry if you've already been tagged, and of course, participation is completely voluntary.

Thanks everyone.

[vaguely-concerned]

having seen at least the rough outlines of all the romances now I have to say that I think emmrich's is probably objectively the best in terms of coherence and completeness of story arc (with the understanding that ultimately the 'best' romance is whichever one makes YOUR heart sing anyway so objectivity is a silly thing to claim that way, it just felt like it's the arc with the most well-paced focused content and the least dangling threads)... but lucanis' is my favourite haha. just. the whole kneeling before your beloved full of reverence but without any of the distance that usually implies??? his complete undramatic certainty and calm in every scene with rook after this, having spent the whole game caught between fear and longing???? mr. lives in a pantry but it says nothing about my psyche don't worry about it it's purely for tactical reasons that I keep myself contained in a small dark room not entirely unlike a cell, love among the parsnips -- finally coming to rook in their room and it's so comfortable and comforting???? after all the times rook supports and comforts him through the game he's finally able to return the same to them when they need it while being so calm and steady and it's so fucking sweet and feels so effortless and with no price attached?????? he basically assigns himself the role of your bodyguard and he WILL stab a god over it??????????????? the turn to protector (which was in his heart all along longing to get out and find a place) of it all????? he sounds like he's found himself unexpectedly stumbling into such a soul-lightening state of revelatory existential relief, full on 'you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves' mary oliver style, and he goes and he shares that with rook and protectively envelops them in it when they're hurting??????????????????????????? hello for the maker's sake hello can anyone hear me?????

[copia]

THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY ONE

first song you heard — Mary On A Cross

September 1969; Papa Nihil and the beginning of the Ghost Project take to the stage at the Whiskey a Go Go club in Los Angeles, under the watchful eye of Sister Imperator. Fifty-three years later, in Tampa, Florida, Papa Emeritus the Fourth performs Mary On A Cross, unaware that he is singing the story of his parents—and that of himself.

[lunarharp]

played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles

[r0semultiverse]

Digital Circus AMA Notes

Digital Circus is getting a season 1 at some point!!!!

#webcore aesthetic board for the series design

Pomni was going to be a frog originally. 🐸

90s toys Zooble inspo

Caine is an antagonist, but not by active choice, he doesn't know he's not helping. He doesn't feel a whole spectrum of human emotions (he's an AI).

"Caine canonically just lets things happen if he thinks it's funny."

Characters eat like Chao in Chao garden in Sonic. The characters can eat the food, but they can't digest it.

Jax's favorite food is spaghetti.

Pomni likes salmon.

Q "Was the ending a 'Last Supper' reference?" A "in a very superficial kinda way yeah." Religious stuff is sometimes just used for the funny.

Gooseworx tumblr sketches MAY or MAY NOT be canon to the series, so it's up in the air for every single one.

People can abstract from feeling too much pain if it breaks their mind from it being too much. Characters feel pain from things, but not as intensely as they would in real life.

Zooble is gonna swap parts every episode (implying they have spare parts) except their body & head.

Jax chose his own name & gooseworx likes to think he chose Gangle's name.

Ragatha was named "Emmy" originally.

They (the cast of characters trapped in the circus) can't change their clothes but Caine can. It's part of their skin sorta kinda.

There's empty space under Pomni's hat because video game model physics.

Spamton was partially inspo for Caine, Caine's VA did Spamton dubs.

Gangle only has 2 masks. Why's it (her hapiness mask) break all the time? Mental state, but the "real her" is "harder to break."

Kaumfo was gonna be part of the main cast originally before Jax.

Kaufmo's model has nothing below the waist at this time, but was made for that promotional image on twitter.

Q "What kinda person was Kaufmo?" A "He was the same as Ragatha in a sense, goofy & cheery, sometimes toxic levels of positivity."

I'm paraphrasing for the sake of note taking in real time, go watch the stream playback for more context & details if you want.

[merlinfromberlin]

Imagine. TFP but there was an ancient spirit/deity living in the Star Sabre.

Bee, after the fight at the Omega Lock, can't remember anything that happened after picking up the Star Sabre for the first time. His memories only set back in once he pulls Optimus back up onto the platform.

None of the Autobots discuss it either. The only thing they told him is that he killed Megatron. But they refuse to elaborate beyond "you grabbed the star sabre, jumped down, stabbed Megatron & saved Optimus".

Bee himself is not even aware of the hole in his memories at first. But then Raf starts asking questions about the fight and Bee always answers with the same sentence. "You know... it was a real doozie, but I got... lucky, I guess."

The first time Ratchet hears Bee say that, he flinches violently and then pretends like that is absolutely normal behaviour. No, you did not just see him crunch his incredibly fragile medical equipment. It's always looked like this.

Optimus also starts acting odd towards Bee. He can't quite look him in the eye but keeps observing him from a distance. They've also stopped their philosophical discussions (yes; I'm going to insert my headcanon that Optimus and Bee watch ATLA together and then use it as a jumping off point to discuss Cybertronian philosophy and culture into everything).

None of the bots would admit it, but all of them are doing their best to keep Bee confined to the base. He is barely out on patrol anymore. It gets even worse once they are back on Cybertron because now he doesn't even get out to pick up Raf anymore. He's always kept busy indoors. Not even Smokescreen wants to sneak out with him.

Still, no one wants to answer his questions about what happened at the OmegaLock. He tries to corner Smokescreen and Bulkhead about it because they are the weakest link when it comes to resisting Bee, his shenanigans and questions, but neither of them budge.

And then Bee starts noticing other signs of change. Sometimes, his optics will suddenly just burn brighter. Bright enough to illuminate dark rooms or reflect on metal surfaces around him. Sometimes he is no longer sure that they're really blue.

Then, one night, he has a dream. He is lying somewhere, prone on his belly, unable to move and incredibly tired. It's hard to comprehend anything that's going on. His surroundings are bathed in blue (?) light and he can't see him, but he can feel Optimus being there, incredibly tense as he stands in between Bee and something that's so old it should have dissolved into dust eons ago. Optimus and the thing are talking but he can only gauge snippets of their conversations before something soothes him back into deep recharge. Last thing he hears is Optimus' yelling his name.

Then he wakes up at the entrance of their base, Optimus and Ratchet waiting for him as he returns from a drive. He has no clue where he went. Or why they look at him as if he was a ghost. Until he checks his internal chronometer and realises that the equivalent of a week has passed.

And when he asks what's going on, Optimus just pulls him into a hug and holds him for a long time, not saying anything.

[drumlincountry]

I am at the stage of trauma recovery that feels like reattaching previously dead limbs.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[deoidesign]

Can you make a tutorial on how you world build and make ocs? I can't seem to make any people in my brain, but then when I try to come up with environments jobs, beliefs and little details to slowly come up with someone, I think: well I don't really know how people have influenced the world- it's a weird loop

To be honest, I don't think I can! Writing is an extremely personal process. The way I write is directly related to how I process things, what I find important in stories, years of my own analysis of my and other's writing, etc... The way you write will be unique to you, as well. But I can explain how I personally think of it.

The short answer:

Write. Write anything and everything, it's a tool to explore your ideas. Analyze your own writing, and write more. Then, as you discover which ideas you want to develop, write more to explore them more. You won't know what you want otherwise!

The long answer:

I think this kind of loop is common. It's easy to feel like everything needs to be done "at once," because our job as writers is to make elements logically fit with each other for our readers. But as you've discovered, developing multiple elements simultaneously isn't really possible, or at least is extremely difficult.

Personally, when I think of writing, I break it into three major elements; characters, world, and plot. As much as possible every scene explores one or more of these, and as much as possible these three things tie back into what I personally consider most important: theme.

Everything I do is in service of the themes I want to present. Without them my events feel aimless. It can take a while to discover them, but they're the core of my work. You will have to discover what you feel is the core of yours. Analyzing other media helps with this too.

Concepts in your brain exist in a state of infinite potential. But when you start writing you have to start making choices, which removes potential as you move forward... But you have to move forward anyways. If there's ideas you want to explore later, you can always explore them later.

What this ends up meaning, to answer your question, is that I don't think of my characters as "people in my brain" or my worlds as something people have influenced... Not at their core, at least. They are tools that I use to represent specific ideas. Obviously they're also my blorbos, but mostly they're serving a specific narrative purpose.

So above all else... Write. Write, and discover what you're writing about, and then start over and write with that in mind. Keep doing this. But you have to write!

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

I love the original Cars 2006 game so much. The one that got released on like GameCube and Xbox. I mean, I love all the Cars games(Cars 3 Switch game they did you dirty), but that's an entire story for another time giving my individual appriciation for all of them later. What I'm going to say here applies pretty well to the other games that are centered around the first movie as well like Race-O-Rama and Maternationals, but I'm specifcally rewatching the original one's cutscenes again because I don't want to restart my data every time I wanna go through the cutscenes again(even though I enjoy playing it so, so much), and I just love the atmosphere in it so much. Some of my favorite movie scenes are the ones where they don't have any music playing because I love to close my eyes and turn up the volume and just.. pretend I am right there with the characters and right next to them and stuff or that they're talking to me or such, and that is extra immersible when there isn't an entire orchestra going on(not that I am knocking at having music at all, I regularly go back and listen to the soundtracks from movies if they have them posted).

And the game doesn't really have any music at all during any of the cutscenes and the whole thing is like super..soft to me? Not soft as in like fluffy pillows and pink aesthetic soft, but soft as in like it's getting late out and so you're trying to be kinda hushed with your voice and there's not really anywhere you have to be so you slow down your pace and kick a couple of pinecones or rocks. If that makes any sense at all. Cause normally movies or shows(whether the whole series or each individual episode) have a certain plot or arc that is happening that everyone is focused on and consumes the whole thing, give or take a few moments. And while this game does have a particular thing so it can have a start and end to the story of the game, everything is framed in like a "Yeah, this is what they get up to in their freetime." And I don't know if you know but I love my slice of life stuff so sooooooo so so infinitely much. So getting to get that sort of content is really fun and perfect for me. It's like you're just actively hanging around them and getting caught up in whatever typical nonsense they end up in(assuming we are ignoring the whole monster truck bit), and the "OH THINGS ARE. HITITNG THE FAN." Or bigger development moments are saved for like the movies or something or whatever comes up in my head.

I'm not really entirely headed anywhere with this, I just wanted to put out some appriciation for the game and how nice the atmosphere is. I think it's also cause I really love getting to just sit and here them talk and there is a lot of casual conversation that happens and just plain dialog. Like it's not even filler dialog it's just talking and chatting. And I spend a stupid silly amount of time listening to voiceline compilations on YouTube so this is just the bees knees for me.

Thank you for the read though, may I offer you with a clip because APPERENRLY there's a limit to one clip per post that I am just now finding out about. I think I've already talked about the Litnig one anyway. Maybe I'll post it again later.

I uuuuguguhhh also perfectly reached the tag limit. If anyone needs anything to do in their freetime while bored or as a filler may I suggest reading this post and it's tags, you will be occupied for a while IFNFJCJFNS. I was half joking about reaching the tag limit as well. Well, we all saw it coming, it was going to have to happen one day. And go figure after a long absence that I was going to have it in me to do some running of my mouth...

I do want to say I am probably back now yall! Knock on wood- but I think the reign of my absence is over! Which I am especially hoping so for several reasons but also because I am so SO not done milking F/Ovember to its full extent. I spent too many months looking forward to that to not invest and rot my blog with it.

[jils-things]

to love someone is to heal someone

[kyouka-supremacy]

Why are you tagging posts with dates from last year? Did you queue them last year?

… I did.

[vaguely-concerned]

I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today

[little-pup-pip]

might i request a little space (0-3) moodboard inspired by ike eveland ? possibly with quilldren? masc, paci, with or without deco!!

Sure!!

[disposal-blueeee]

recent sketches

hhhello been inactive for a while so have some sketches i've done recently XP

changed the way i draw the little guy

a friend had this hc that during chapter 27 edgar wasn't really taking care of himself so his hair got longer . then zarla confirmed it

thing i banged in like 30 minutes instead of going to sleep . this is from @metamorphmigus and @cherry-207's au , btw

lolol that's literally all idk why i thought i had more things

[keeps-ache]

1) i'm bad at games 2) i'm scared of people