#i'm glad they worked the hot wood joke into the series somewhere

[veryfashionabledesigns]

The page from the history of Paltryville shown in netflix asoue:

The Baudelaires were unequivocally responsible for putting out the fire. "We happened to be enjoying a lovely picnic at our favorite picnic spot at the edge of the Finite Forest when we saw the flames," Mr. Baudelaire told representatives of the Official Fire Department once they arrived on the scene. His wife added, "As good citizens, it was our duty to leap into action. Would you care for a madeleine? They're freshly baked." Eyewitnesses claim Mr. Baudelaire repurposed a large cowbell, a hammer, and a ten-foot po.e to create a makeshift fire alarm, which he rang to warn the townsfolk to evacuate their homes, while Mrs. Baudelaire re-distributed the Lucky Smells water circulation system to put out the blaze. (Rest assured, I have billed her for the use of the water. It's not like it just falls from the sky!)

As if one day of heroics wasn't enough, the Baudelaires were also responible for re-locating the survivors, and setting them up with "good jobs in the city, where they can raise their families in peace and security, knowing that their homes are protected and non-flammable and that a reliable fire department is always nearby." A lovely sentiment, but I sure hope that my tax dollars aren't paying for that!

I myself was away on a busman's holiday in the city, where I took a bus to my favorite hot wood sauna, so I completely missed the fire, though I'm happy to report that my time in the sauna was quite relaxing. In fact, it was so relaxing that I fell asleep. When I woke up, either several minutes or several hours later (the sauna did not contain a cluck), I was very hungry, and ordered a lunch of alphabet soup, which I ate with my silver spoon, and a cigarillo, which is a bit like a cigar and a bit like a cigarette. My favorite part of eating alphabet soup is rearranging the letters to form my first name, which of course you readers already know to be