#i'm getting really tired of not even getting the bare fucking minimum from people lately

[nicistrying]

Absolutely love that my stepmam can share shit from the local pub on facebook all day long but I asked very nicely a week ago if she could send me my dad's collar size for his daughter's fucking wedding and she cba to reply to me 😊😊😊 go fuck yourself 😊😊😊

[yoyokslut]

You're losing me.

Pedri x reader

Word count: 2193

I'm fucking tired of all this were the words spinning around in your head after the fight you had with Pedri.

Ever since you started dating him he was always hugging, kissing and telling you how much you mean to him, always making you feel like the most precious thing of the world.

A few months from now all that faded away, it didn't feel like a relationship anymore it felt more like two people barely knowing each other sharing the same room.

You tried everything to get him back; romantic dinners, trips, walks around the town just the two of you trying to make up for what seemed lost time, to which he all rejected saying he was busy, had already plans with friends, he was running late to someplace. It was hurtful and exhausting so you decided to confront him.

"Pedri, can I talk to you please?" you said entering the living room.

"Can you wait until I get back? I have training," he said not even looking at you.

You huffed "See? This is what I wanna talk about, it seems like you don't want to spend time with me anymore,"

He looked at you and frowned "That's not true,"

"You know it is, always rejecting me. I wish you weren't that busy and actually try to make time for me... For us,"

"The world doesn't revolve around you, you know? You knew what you were getting yourself into when you started dating me. You're not the only thing that needs my attention,"

"You don't even give me a minimum part of it, that's all I was asking for,"

"I'm fucking tired of all this, I can't be with you all the fucking time, just leave alone, let me breathe," he said grabbing his hoodie and keys and heading outside.

You heard the door slam and started crying. He wasn't even trying to keep this relationship.

"Just because I'm here tolerating everything doesn't mean I can't leave, Pedri," you said out loud.

You headed up to the bedroom to grab some of your clothes and things and went to your car. But before leaving you left him a note saying:

I'm sorry this had to end up like this, Pedri.

But I can't love us for both.

Hope you have a wonderful life.

- Once yours, Y/n.

You got in your car and started driving not even know where you were going.

-

"Y/n!?" Pedri entered the house looking for you.

He walked by the note you left, glanced it and frowned.

When he read it his heart started beating so fast. He had to make it up to you, he didn't want to lose you. Grabbing his phone he searched your number and called you but you weren't picking up.

"Please please please, I know I was an asshole, but pick up please," he said but didn't have an answer.

He started texting you but you didn't reply.

He really fucked up this time. And if I wanted to get you back, I had to think of something worthy for you.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

hi im anon from (734828727660412928/npd-culture-is-deciding-to-give-up-on-friendships?source=share) (hopefully that link works, I don't use tumblr often so I'm not sure how to go about following up asks on anon). just came back to read this blog during a really bad crash im having right now because it cheers me up to know im not alone in having symptoms of this disorder and saw my ask got posted...

(update on friend situation) just today they said in the group chat theyre all drawing gift art for each other and other friends... i'm still waiting on the paid art from them but they're doing art trades and stuff for free so i feel kind of like trash. im a bit of a bleeding heart though so im gonna give them like one more month before telling them not to bother finishing the art for me... id love my money back because it did cost a LOT of money but i dont want to be a dick so im just going to express my disappointment by telling them not to worry about the commission at all. i want to feel like i have some right to be mad in this situation but im very soft hearted and dont really have any other friends so if i lost these friends id have literally nobody else in my life :( and that kinda feels like hell for me to think about... i feel like im being treated like dirt but im still going to go christmas shopping for them.............. even if i feel like shit, i feel shittier if i dont get people gifts and stuff because i just think to myself, like, "i feel like crap if nobody buys me shit for holidays or my fucking own birthday and i dont want other people to feel that way".....

also im feeling a little sad because whenever my friends talk about their friends they dont even refer to me by name theyll go "[friend a name], [friend b name] and oomfie are in our server" or something. im not even a name to them... i feel like the last kid picked on a team but not even the last pick. like have you guys ever been on a sports team and you kinda got awkwardly waved over to one of the teams because nobody even wanted to pick you? yeah.

i wonder if im just really dense and need to pick up on hints that people dont even want to be around me. i even tried to post this video game i started working on lately because i thought it was really interesting and cool and i put my soul into it but everyone just ignored it in the group chat.

i think the social outcast route is probably my best bet at this rate, i think. im going to be pretty fucking depressed about limiting my social interactions but i think the depression from isolation isnt as bad as getting constant narc crashes from people not putting even a tiny bit of energy into friendships. like.. i honestly am not asking for very much. i get fucking narc highs if someone uses my fucking name in a conversation. i get highs from literally the bare minimum fucking interaction of anything directed in my direction im so desperate....

i wasnt going to write up a follow up ask but i just wanted to say thanks to this blog for existing and making me feel like im not completely alone and thanks for the nice comments in the reblogs and tags, it cheered me up. you guys are really nice to me and i'm a complete stranger to you all, it makes me feel like theres some hope for nice people existing out there. im just a little too tired to carry on. thank you all, i hope you have a really good day. keep on surviving out there, it's not a kind world to any of us, and it's tough to stay alive at all.

(apologies for another vent but thanks for posting my asks <3 i wish you all the best and nice days to come. also sorry this isnt in the npd culture format, but i just rly wanted to say thank you for the support on the other ask)

sending hugs (with consent) nonny 🫂 i'm so sorry honestly you deserve way better than how your friends are treating you :( i hope at some point you can talk to them about how they're making you feel and improve the situation because it sounds like you deserve better

[xxlordalexanderxx]

1 2 & 4 perhaps?

Questions Often Left Unanswered: Mun Edition ⭐| Accepting

1: Are there any characters in your fandom or face claims you refuse to RP with? Who and why?

I'm fandomless for this reason, and because nothing has gripped me in over a decade to want to be really "apart" of anything anymore. But there are characters from a few fandom I just cannot stand to see because of a few individuals who've played these character and made my time on here miserable. I even have a small list of fandoms I refuse to interact with, one of them being for very obvious reasons. I can't stand Tighnaris from Genshin Impact or Skarbrands from Warhammer. If you know, you know. No hate or shade for anyone who likes these properties and characters but the muns who I interreacted with that played them at the time made my experience less than ideal.

2: Are there any plot tropes you are sick of/refuse to RP? If so, what are they and why?

I feel that I tend to grow tired of too much of anything lately. Sometimes I get tired of excessive fluff, sometimes I get tired of excessive angst, sometimes I'm not feeling smut. I like to keep a variety going.

4: Have you ever dropped a thread because someone refused to ship their character with yours? If no, have you ever dropped a thread for another “unpopular” reason and if so, what was your reasoning?

As far as shipping is concerned, never. Shipping is not my priority, and it is not what I'm after. I just want to write and tell stories and have fun. Shipping is just a supplement to my RP experience and tends to happen naturally for Alexander. If our characters fuck with one another like that, cool. If not, aight, that's fine. I've seen the kind of drama shipping can elicit and I refuse to entertain it which is why I keep things light and fun, like shipping is suppose to be.

And for other reasons why I would drop a thread: Too much time passed and that thread has become obsolete ( most of the time my fault cuz I have a life and sometimes get really slow with replies).

My RP partner gave me a very small response and it kinda feels shitty to be dishing out thought out decent chunks of writing to receive the bare minimum. If said partner rather RP like this I don't mind keeping things small to a blogger style like interaction.

Or on the opposite end my partner writes so much and gives me a novel I don't have the energy to recuperate the same effort and rather not waste their time. Like, I can give a metric fuck of a reply, but under special conditions.

Or I felt like I was carrying most of the story along. As a reminder RP is a collaborative activity. Like I know I've created my own world in all but I'm always down for people adding to it and carrying things along too. Just ask about stuff. I might not always have my ideas fleshed out but I'm okay with bullshitting myself through scenarios too.

Not sure if these are unpopular reasons but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[namuneulbo]

week one hundred and thirty two

had my last class for the term on monday! since then i've just been working on the essay exam thingy. it's both fun and frustrating. it's fun until i have no idea what to say to reach the word count.

tuesday i went shopping with mom! it was a fun day and we had burgers and i got a shirt. i really tried to pay for the food and the shirt but she still wanted to pay for it. i felt bad but i'm still glad about getting a free shirt. it's so pretty but the weather's too hot for it right now so i can't wear it.

we went on a lot of walks while my mom was here. i had to miss out on a few of them to work on the essay but the few i went on were nice. my sisters boyfriend lead the way and he took us to so many hills and it was so tiring TT we saw a hot air balloon up close and that was really cool. i've barely even seen one from far away before.

on friday i somehow ended up finishing my essay stuff for the day suuuuper early. i don't know how i got such flow but it went by so quickly and i had the rest of the day for myself. guess how i spent it? doomscrolling. ah, i love 2024.

also had a wash day on wednesday but i got there a bit late so i rushed the machines and then ended up having to stop the white one midway but turns out that's not a great idea because they were SOAKING wet. like dripping. wow. innuendo. anyways... i tried putting them in the dryer but it didn't help and they were soaking still after the dryer. i think it might've never turned on because of how wet the laundry was. so i went back with the soaking laundry and scrunched out all of the water and hung it to dry but turns out taking your laundry out mid-clean and letting it poorly air dry makes it smell horrific. well, slightly. it had like a slight constant pee smell. i don't know how. i was stressed out trying to find what caused the smell and ended up sniffing every fabric in my room. i changed my duvet and pillowcase and went to bed but still smelled something so i changed sheets and boom. no smell. glad it's over.

i'm getting really pissed off on people on dating apps. WHY do you reply six hours late MINIMUM per message. i suddenly feel like a creep answering messages within 10 minutes. i've matched with this one guy who's super harveycoded and he's canadian and cool and stuff but he replies SO FUCKING SLOW.

also matched with a super hot person and we bonded over games and now they ghosted me like damn.

also looking for an actual relationship rather than casual is ROUGH. like sorry i absolutely cannot get invested with someone and not catch feelings. like why do i feel insane for still missing l? he probably doesn't even think about any of the things we did anymore. it's weird in a way having someone be your first everything and you not being their first anything.

peepeepoopoo blahblahblah get over him, girl.

sotw: e-40, the click, d-shot, b-legit and suga t - captain save a hoe

[theallseeingrc-blog]

Hey Aj

I'm feeling kind of anxious, writing this in a Starbucks here in our hometown, with two women in their (most likely) late fifties enjoying what looks like matcha green tea latte, sitting adjacent from where i sit. not to mention the woman on my left outside (i'm by the glass wall) who gratefully seems busy with her phone.

There's a reason the first paragraph was that long, because I know you'll never get to read this, albeit there might be a small chance I exude a moment of vulnerability and send you the link, but seeing as to how your last message was "fuck you, leave me alone." the chances of that happening are as close to me getting hit by lightning.

But, in the small chance that you would...

I can't recall the person who told me that having something to regret in life is bad, and can result in future problems, but I've always carried that guilt and regret like a backpack in the sahara dessert that seems stitched to my back, and taking it off would just peel the drying skin off my body, bleeding me to death and to my fictional demise.

But nonetheless, this regret I'm referring to is the regret of not treating you well. I feel like I've done nothing but give you trauma and unnecessary suffering in your life. I've come to realize (when it was already too late) how much I behaved like a total fool, and took your love for granted.

I'm sorry it took me a really long time to realize how wrong I was for acting the way I did towards you, when all you wanted was to just fulfill my lifelong dream of marrying my first love. I wasn't yours, and in some ways it hurt, but it was something at the time was effortless to overlook.

I remember how we started. I literally let go of a relationship where I was to settle. Don't get me wrong, I loved Pau, I did. For the first time, I didn't feel like I would be the one leading the relationship to new experiences, and for once that was nice, but I was willing to let go of everything just to have a chance with you, because that's how long I've loved you. Through the unknown, carelessly clutching ignorance at the same time, I loved you from the very beginning.

And I continue to love you. I think of you whenever I come back home. I stopped parking outside your house, in hopes that you'd come out and catch me, and strike a conversation and try again because I realized how creepy that was, and I'm sorry.

I guess in a way, whenever we talked and I kept telling you "I'm not here to try and get back together" there was a part of me that knew it was the only way to still keep you in my life. That I asked nothing but the bare minimum and having the thought of trying again, I knew it would remind you of the horrendous times I put you through.

God, I can barely remember the good times we had. I forgot how much I made you laugh, I can't remember when I had your interest, and that you adored me. I loved your attention. I craved for it. Until the time it started becoming troublesome for a reason that bewilders me up until this day as to how it started.

Okay this is getting kind of long for a letter I know you'll never get a chance to read anymore anyways. But let me end it with this.

In every universe, in every reality, I know I'll love you in every single one of them. And I hope that in at least one of them, We're both happy. I hope that I get to be the best "worth the wait" person for you. I hope I get to be the one to carry you when you're too tired to be strong. I hope I get to be the one to hug you after a stressful meeting. I hope I get to be the one to fuck you good, and tell you how beautiful you are, and that it matters even if you hear it from other people on a regular basis. I hope I get to be the one to brew you coffee before your day starts. I hope you get to be the one Friday calls her "loving mother". I hope, if it's not possible in this universe, that somewhere out there, we found each other, at a time where nothing made sense.

except our love.

I love you, Sun Girl.

Mahal kita, Aj.

Our love will be my biggest regret I let go.

Goodbye.

[cumulohimbus]

Vent ahead~ but also assertiveness and self validation. Some positive with the negative

I don't know why lately I seem to have lost my ability to be patient with other people...I mean, I'm not the most patient person to begin with, though it's something I've worked really hard to foster in myself and I think I've gotten somewhat better at it over the past few years. I don't know what has changed more recently for me to feel so angry over continued unreliability and a disregard for space I am forced to occupy. I mean, it was upsetting to me before, but right now I just feel like I've snapped, like I give up. I keep having to swallow back down thoughts urging me to cut everyone out entirely because I'm so tired of operating my life at their convenience and not my own. What if I said I was going to do something multiple times and then just didn't do it while expecting everyone else to adjust their schedules for me? What if I left someone else's work station a mess and forced them to spend two hours cleaning it up before they could address their actual responsibilities? What if I put someone through a month and a half of challenging and exhausting social interactions, stringing them along, only to come back and tell them "we never actually had the resources for you"?

Why do other people get to do that to me and I just have to smile and say "it's alright", "it's no trouble at all", "I understand", "it happens"? Why is it something they can just say "sorry" for ad infinitum until it no longer means anything? Why is it "boundaries" for them and if I do the same it's me being hurtful? Why is it "accommodations" and "self care" for them and if I do the same it's me being unreliable or not strong or brave or hard-working enough?

Rarely have I felt so deeply that I wanted to give other people a taste of their own medicine, which frightens me tbh. Thankfully (or not) I'm so fucking attached to being the "most reliable person"™️ in hopes that maybe someday fate will finally fucking smile down on me and something immensely good will fall into my lap without me having to furiously claw my way towards taking it for myself. And still, no matter how hard I try, I feel I am always saddled with less than the bare minimum to meet my needs, and I'm sick to death of taking pity on others and telling them "it's okay" when wasting my time has never and will never be okay with me. Please, god, don't waste my time; having my time wasted and/or disrespected is perhaps the most hurtful/infuriating thing anyone can do to me... From the time I was a child, I have suffered from thoughts of wishing I didn't exist, of feeling like I was some sort of insignificant cosmic joke the universe had played on reality, and I frequently have to continue making the choice to stay. My time is so precious to me; every second I take a breath even though I could make a choice to no longer have to, but I said I would. I promised.

I don't love myself, but I do trust myself completely. I believe in my capacity to always search for better understandings of who I am and why I do what I do and why I think what I think. These angry feelings I don't understand because I haven't yet determined if they're coming from something skewed in myself or if I am justified in feeling them based on how I have been treated.

More than anything I am simply tired...tired of being told something only to have it taken away last second because it's convenient only for the other party, tired of waiting on others who have no respect for my time, tired of going over the top trying to demonstrate my competency as proof of being worth someone else's investment in me. I know how hard I work and nobody else is allowed to say they're "proud of me" until they take some personal accountability as well as prove to me through their actions that they're willing to respect me and my time enough to even hold those words in their mouth.

[mid-weast]

Will you keep it down? | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: You and Jungkook attend the same university and have been neighbors for 3 months now. It drives you crazy that he plays loud music at 2AM, and it drives him crazy that you barely acknowledge his presence.

Pairing: Jungkook x Female!Reader; Black!Reader

Words: 2.6K

Genre: enemies to lovers, student!jungkook, student!reader, fluff, mention of smut, angst? (in the form of bickering back and forth).

Authors note: Hi hi! This is the first fic I’ve ever written so if it’s bad I’m sorry. Also it is unedited so if there's grammar / spelling mistakes I'm sorry again! Also this is catered toward the reader being Black but I hope it can be enjoyed by everyone. Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated ok love u bye!

“Y/N? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!? Open this door RIGHT NOW!”

Even though you were studying in your room, his knocks were so loud you nearly jumped out of your skin. You had expected a reaction, but not a full-on explosion.

You and Jungkook have been apartment neighbors for about three months now, and a constant problem is that he blares his music hella loud late at night. Of course he’s a music major so he listens to music a lot, but at this point you don’t care. It doesn’t even seem like he’s working on composition homework anyway, just being an asshole with no regard for his neighbors peace. Now don’t get yourself wrong, you're not just some uptight bitch who complains about everything. Well, you do have several pet peeves but over the years of going to school in Korea you’ve picked and chosen your battles very wisely. In most cases you let things slide. You wouldn’t care at all about someone playing the music loudly, but it is 2 AM, and while you’re up studying you know a lot of your other neighbors are trying to sleep.

You tiptoe toward your front door and twist the knob slowly. You only open the door wide enough to be able to see his face. It’s not that you’re scared that you’re in danger or anything, and you rarely back down from people giving you a hard time. But you were tired, wearing a big ass t- shirt and short shorts (your regular sleep attire), and it was late at night. So if anything was going to pop off you felt pretty vulnerable. Even though you’re the same age, he towers over you and you find his size kinda intimidating.

As usual, you have to crane your neck to see his face, and your view of him is limited by the narrowness in which

you opened the door.

“Can I help you, lil boy?”

From what you can see of him, right away you can tell that he is pissed. Dawning his usual attire of a black sweatshirt with the hood up, black sweats, and stomp a hoe boots, he stood extremely close to your apartment door with his arms crossed. His usually wide, puppy dog eyes are now pressed in narrow slits. His normally pouty lips are formed in a hard line, and his jaw is so clenched you could carve an ice sculpture with his jawline.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You called the cops on me? Are you INSANE???" Jungkook shouts.

Obviously he's mad, and despite the amount of times you've gone back and forth he's never raised your voice at you. The old you would have screamed back at him, but over time you've tried to respond to anger with calmness. Also, you were a little scared because this mf is kind of big.

"I already told you if you keep blaring your music at 2AM, I was going to do something about it!" You respond in a hushed whisper, slightly concerned that your elderly neighbors will be even more disturbed by the noise. "I've told you this a million times, and you barely do anything about it. If anything, it's gotten worse like you're doing it on purpose. People are trying to sleep and I'm trying to study, why is this so hard for you to understand?"

He sucks his teeth. "You're such a little snitch. And I've already told YOU that YOU can't tell me what to do."

"I know I can't...but they can," you nod toward the exit, referring to the police officers that most likely just left out that way with a tiny smirk growing on your face.

If it was possible, he clenched his jaw even harder and you think that he's going to pop a blood vessel. He pushes his way into your apartment, which sends you stumbling back and you grab the door handle to regain your balance. This causes you to close the door shut.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're-"

He steps right up to you and leans down into your face.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, seriously??? Why are you such an annoying little brat? Just because you're a nerd with no friends who gets no play doesn't mean you can take your bitterness out on me.”

You have to laugh in his face at this point because hello??? First of all, who is he talking to? Second of all, you have told him a BUNCH of times to turn his music down late at night. You didn't think that was too much to ask. As far as you were concerned, being aware of your noise level when you live in an apartment is the universal bare minimum for being a human being.

"ME? Who do you think YOU are? Actually let me tell you. You're an entitled little rich boy who thinks he runs the world. I don't give a fuck about how popular you are on campus, how many people fall at your feet to be around you, and how many hoes you have, you cant talk to ME like that. And how are you going to try and tell me about myself when it's too much of a task for you to be a decent neighbor? I've never done anything to blatantly bother you, so why can you just.." You started to panic because usually when you raise your voice out of anger, your voice cracks and tears threaten to pool out of your eyes, but you tried to get a grip and not back down..."why can you just be nice to me so we can live in peace? Is that too hard for you???"

He looked kind of taken aback by your question. Being nice to you? It never crossed his mind. Also, you kind of had a point. When the semester started and you both moved in on the same day, you would shoot him a small, friendly smile in passing but you never seemed interested in getting to know him. He always wondered why that was. It's not that he had a problem talking with girls, since all he had to do was breathe and girls would come flocking around him, but you would flat out ignore him. Even at all the major parties at the beginning of the year and on Thursday nights when students take over the clubs in the city, you'd barely even acknowledge him. He KNEW that you had seen him too, since you would make eye contact, but you acted like he was just another guy at the club.

And he'd be lying if he said you weren't fine. You had thick thighs, a beautiful face, nice curves, and always wore outfits that hugged you in the right places. He always wondered what it would feel like to wrap his arms around your body and press it against his own. He would constantly sneak peaks of you throughout the night at the club, but something stirred in him when he saw that you were chatting up other guys. Was he...jealous? Jealous that you were so eager to pay attention to these dudes who, in his opinion, were decent looking but they were nowhere near his level, and you never even gave him a second thought? One night he even saw you leaving with a man he knew through mutual friends, and he had to physically stop himself from breaking the glass he was holding, because that guy, while objectively handsome, was nothing compared to him. Jungkook wasn't blatantly cocky, but he let his talent, charm, and looks speak for themselves. He was THEE Jeon Jungkook, and nothing ever really bothered him....except you.

Was he....interested in you? Nah, that can't be it. You were some random chick who happened to be his neighbor, who also is one of the only girls he's met that doesn't give two fucks about even having small talk with him, and that infuriated him for some reason. So the first time you came knocking on his door in an adorable pink satin pajama set with a matching bonnet complaining about his loud music, he knew the game he had to play.

He's still standing over you, centimeters away from you face, but you notice that his eyes soften a little and so does his jaw. He unclenches the fists he was holding crossed against his chest

You continue, “I don't care what you do, and I'm DEFINITELY trying to run your messy ass life. Believe me," you scoff, "you don't have enough money to pay me to do that. But when your dickhole behavior fucks with MY life is when it's a problem. And it's BEEN a problem."

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, little girl, maybe I should call you little mouse now, since now I know that you'll go squeaking to the cops now, don't fuck with me or my music again.”

Without moving your head you look him up and down with a confused expression. "Am I supposed to be scared of you? No seriously, you look like you cry during Disney movies while wearing footie pajamas, and now here you are throwing a fit because I forced you to stop bothering the entire wing with your music?"

Girl...what are you saying??? This man just barged into YOUR place, is in your face, and is strong enough to pick you up and throw you, and you’re insulting him? But you figured if he's going to be rude, you'll throw it right back because you're tired of his bullshit.

Whatever softness he was feeling for a fleeting moment immediately left, and annoyance once again washed over. He straightens up a bit and puts on that annoying confident smirk he wears when he thinks he's won arguments between you two.

"You should be nicer to me, all it will take is for me to tweet one thing about you, and you'll be the most hated person on campus."

At this point, any suspicions that you had about him annoying you on purpose were confirmed. You've concluded that this mf is a bully and you, small and shy but not one to take mess, will put him in his place to-motherfucking-night.

You take a step toward him, now crossing your arms tightly against your chest, but he doesn't even move a hair backwards.

"Clearly you need a rude awakening so here it is. I don't know what type of people you've dealt with all your life, always saying yes to you, letting you boss them around and taking whatever bullshit you dish out, but let me tell you I am not the one. Never have been and never will be. Unlike the other fools around here who cream their pants at the mention of your name, I don't care about who you are. You'll respect ME and MY peace as long as we're neighbors, you get me?"

Now y/n, you have never so boldly stood up to someone, where did that come from, babes? You've tried to not let this entitled little boy get to you this whole time, but with him standing in front of you in the middle of your apartment with that extremely annoying, yet handsome, smirk on his face, and after all the crap he's said tonight, he had you all the way fucked up.

After you said that, he just laughed and looked away. Now you’re standing there fuming and confused...was there a joke you missed? You were being dead serious!

"Something funny?" you ask, narrowing your eyes.

"Nothing, just thinking about how I want to face fuck that annoying little mouth of yours so you finally shut up.”

Your jaw almost dropped to the floor. You've never had a guy say something so blatantly rude and vulgar literally inches away from your face. But again, you weren't going to back down.

"Oh really?" Scoffing and tilting your head to the side a bit while narrowing your eyes even more, "I'd very much like to do the same. Maybe then you'll learn your place."

"Oh please, princess, you probably blanch when someone around you even mentions the word sex." He chuckles and leans down close toward your face again and cocks his head to the side, scrunching his nose and in a pouty voice said, "you're fooling no one, but keep trying, maybe you'll get there.”

You're even more annoyed than you were before, if that was even possible. But if he wanted to play this game, you might as well go there with him. It's true, you were a bit more prudent than more, but it pissed you off that he could tell. Regardless, you do know some things to say that could have him leaving with his tail between his legs.

You pouted your lips and in a babying tone said, “Aww sweetheart you have no idea. You think you're big and bad but like I said, you probably cry watching Disney movies. The same way you'd be crying, begging me to let you cum down my throat as I mercilessly toy with your cock for hours.”

Now it's his turn to go pale. Y/n, his stuck up neighbor who has barely even spared him five seconds of her time just threatened to edge him into submission? He has to pinch himself because he must be dreaming....

“Well I-“

“But I don't even think we’d make it that far, hun” you continue, “because in order to humble your egotistical, disrespectful ass, I'm gonna have to ride your face until you suffocate. And when the paramedics come and I have to explain how you died, I won't even hesitate to tell them that you were a punk ass loser who LITERALLY drowned in my pussy!”

You don’t know who this person speaking is, but it is not you. All of the pent up hostility you’ve held towards him just flooded out of you and you couldn’t stop the words from coming out. To be honest you shocked yourself, but you still stood there with your arms crossed and your face unfaltering, just waiting for him to say something smart back.

He stared at you silently, eyes wider than you’ve seen before and his mouth hung slightly open. He wasn’t expecting you to respond with so much fire, but now he wouldn’t be able to sleep until the image you painted came true. His brain said fuck it, and his lips crashed down onto yours. The kiss is sloppy but passionate, and you swore you heard him quietly whimper.

When he feels you starting to kiss back, he smirks into the kiss. Your lips are moving against each other in tandem, and all thoughts about how much you despise the prick fades away. As you uncrossed your arms and placed them on his chest, you could feel his heart beating wildly. Was he as nervous as you were this whole time? You wonder. You knew he was a player, so he was experienced. But the thought that you made him nervous gave you a tiny confidence boost. His hands slowly slide up the sides of your body to sneak behind your back, to pull you further into his chest. As much as your brain was telling you to resist him and push him away, you couldn't help but fall victim to how soft his lips felt against yours. Suddenly you feel airborne as he swiftly reaches down behind your thighs and picks you up. You instinctively gasp but he doesn’t miss a beat, simply biting your lower lip and locking your lips together again.

“Maybe we should test that scenario of yours, and if it comes true, that wouldn’t be the worst way for me to go” he says, doing that annoying but soul-crushingly handsome smirk he likes to wear as he carries you off to your bedroom.

[iwoulddiefortyblackthorn]

I'm gonna vent so you should keep scrolling!!

okay so I'm using tumblr as twitter(i guess?? idk how ur suposed to use tumblr)bc most of my friends follow me on twitter and I don't really want to talk to them rn, or to my parents and my next therapy session is week away so I'll either write it down here or scream(then I'd have to talk to my family), and here we are lol. I've been feeling like shit lately, like, not in the previous weeks but since the year started. I've had some happy moments, sure, but I end up back to the bottom. It's not depression or anything I just feel... tired and lazy?? I used to study a lot and by that I mean A LOT like, 7 hour a day last december but this year I increasingly got worse. It's my last year of high school rn, aka the hardest one, and I can't manage to do the bare minimum. My main theorie of what changed is that I didn't enjoy my summer break bc I there was this really important exam in february that I was studying to(summer breaks in brazil are in december-januray btw) and after I'd done it I couldn't rest properly because of school and stuff. I've been thinking that I'd get that productivity back tomorrow or next week or next month BUT I DON'T!! time passes and I keep being a lazy bitch who can't study properly if my life depended on it. And I'm fucking tired of being tired because I haven't reaaly done anything to be tired for god's sake!! I can't just take a fucking break rn and try to get back later bc I'd just end up worse. I used to be sad about it but now I've got this test on monday about ELEVEN FUCKING SUBJECTS and I can't study properly, and don't even get me started on the other 5 subjects I have to learn until wednesday. I got sick last week btw, forced rest isn't really resting and I now I feel even worse bc I lost all my workout pace and aaaaaaaaaaa. I don't want to bother my frienda with my feelings anymore bc I don't feel confortamble aaaand I know they're stupid but damn this isn't sadness, it's fucking anger!! I'm angry at myself, my school, my family and my fucking classmates who refuse to shut up for more than 5 seconds. Everyone seems to think I'm this perfect little nerd who does all her schoolwork and study for hours on end but that's far from the truth now lmao. Oh and there's the fact that I suck at everything I do besides school(and I just don't suck at this too bc my hs is a mediocre one) and I'm ugly and fat so if I can't study what am I?? And don't evem get me started on how I've been trying to fix my relationship with food while all this is happening and oh my fucking god I wish I could dive into fantasy books and day in order to predent I don't fucking exist and neither does any of this shit. Even my little moments of happiness turn into bad feelings. Watching heartstopper?? I'm gonna die alone. Playing videogames?? I wish I was as jacked as this viking. Reading the high fantasy bs that I love?? People are smart and strong and beautiful but I'm everything but that.

I'm just so fucking tired

[missmentelle]

I feel really stuck. I'm trying to move fowards but something always comes up. I still live with my family and I have no privacy and have to explain where I’m going and what I'm doing all the time. I really want to get back at uni and I’m trying but that means no time to get a job and won’t be able to move. I can’t stand the city anymore, i can’t stand being so useless. I feel like I haven’t lived at all, i’ve never been in a relationship, haven’t travelled, how do i take control of my life?

It’s tough to make a step-by-step guide or action plan for getting your life together when I don’t really have a ton of information about your goals or financial situation, but I will give it my best shot:

Go easy on yourself. While there are some people out there in this world who manage to be world-travelling Instagram stars, planning their dream weddings and moving up in their glamorous careers at age 25, those people are very few and far between. Many of them come from incredibly privileged backgrounds or have the types of parental support that most of us can only dream of. Being unworldly, directionless and living at home with your parents is the normal 20-something experience. What you’re going through is common. You feel like you haven’t lived yet because your life has barely begun; you haven’t fallen behind, you and your peers are still on the starting line. You have a lot of time ahead of you, and it’s important to be kind to yourself, and to be realistic about the progress you’ll make. You aren’t going to go from being broke in your childhood bedroom to being a high-flying career person with a spouse and a ritzy apartment overnight. Be gentle, and don’t beat yourself up for being young and inexperienced - you have a long journey ahead of you, and you’ll need to save your emotional strength to make it through.

Focus on finishing university. At this point in your life, I think your top priority needs to be finishing your degree as quickly as possible, even if it requires some short term sacrifices. I know that your living situation is irritating and that you are tired of not having privacy, but if you can tolerate your parents and your city for a little while longer and keep going to school while living at home, you’re potentially setting yourself up for a huge advantage in life by completing your degree with minimal debt. The problem with putting off university to get a job and move out is that once you’ve taken on financial responsibilities like rent and bills, it will be a lot more difficult to find the time, resources and motivation to go back to being a student, and your options will be limited for moving into a higher paying job. It’s very easy to get yourself stuck in a vicious cycle of living paycheque-to-paycheque in a low wage job, and not being able to improve your situation because you can’t afford to quit your job and go back to school - my high school friends are in their mid-to-late 20s now, and many of them are now stuck in retail or service industry jobs because it’s difficult for them to give up their source of income and return to school, especially now that some of them have kids or partners. A degree is not a guarantee of a good job, but it’s certainly a mandatory minimum requirement for most opportunities now, and it opens up possibilities like grad school or law school; the sooner you get it out of the way, the sooner you can start building a career, gaining independence and saving up money for travel. University is also a valuable social resource - by getting involved on campus, you can start making meaningful friendships, meeting potential partners, and building useful connections. 

Try new things. One of the keys to living an interesting life and gaining valuable experiences is to actively try new things. It’s hard to gain life experiences by doing the same things over and over again. Challenge yourself to do at least one new thing per month. You don’t necessarily have to like it - you just have to try it. Sign up to volunteer somewhere new. Take a zumba class. Sign up for a new dating app. Write a short story. Change your hair. Start a blog. Go to a restaurant you’ve never been to. Join a local D&D group. You might be surprised by what you end up liking. I ended up in my current career because I took a psych elective to fulfill the social science requirement of my computer science program - sometimes trying something new can lead you down a whole new path you never imagined. It’s also a great way to meet new people that you might never otherwise have met.  If you’re feeling like your life is in a rut, new experiences are a great and easy way to un-rut yourself. 

Have side projects and goals. It’s easy to feel like your life isn’t going anywhere when you don’t have any way to measure your progress. Even while you’re stuck living at your parents’ house, there are ways to keep moving forward with your life. Always have a project or hobby or goal in your life that you can work on. The possibilities are pretty much endless - you could work on your physical fitness, an artistic project, knitting, improving your cooking, journalling, photography, restoring furniture, learning a language, playing an instrument, etc. Anything that captures your attention. Set small, manageable goals and track your progress. Feeling like you are improving in one area of your life can go a long way to calming your jitters when you are feeling stuck in other areas of your life. 

Don’t rush into a relationship or “settle”. It’s hard to predict where or when you’ll get into your first relationship - you might meet your first partner next week or five years from now. Some people meet the love of their life on Tinder within weeks of signing up, some people use dating apps for months without success. All you can really do is put yourself out there, keep working on yourself as a person, and see what happens. The one thing I will advise, though, is that you be cautious of settling for the first person who comes along. If you’ve never been in a relationship and you really want to be in one, it can be tempting to rush headfirst into a relationship with the first promising person you meet - especially if you’ve had to watch your other friends be in long-term relationships for a while now. If you meet someone who seems great, it can be easy to get very serious, very fast, and rush straight to “let’s move in together”, especially when you are already looking for a way to get out of your family’s house. Don’t rush. It’s okay to be disappointed that you haven’t had a relationship yet, but remember that a relationship should be something you get into because you truly want to be with the other person, and not just because you want to check “dating” off your list of adult milestones. If you meet someone, that’s fantastic, but remember that it’s okay to take things slow - if this is really the person for you, they will still be there six months or a year or two years from now. Getting too serious with someone too quickly can mean missing some glaring red flags, and tying yourself financially to someone you haven’t been dating very long can be a recipe for unwanted stress.

Remember that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s easy to blame your problems on the city you live in. The world is full of people saying that everything would be better if they could just get out of this town. Thousands of people dream about moving to NYC, and there are thousands of people walking around NYC who dream of getting the fuck out of here. No matter where you live, there is someone who dreams of moving there, and no matter where you want to go, there is someone there who is desperate to leave. No place is perfect - every place has its perks and its downsides (for instance, NYC has lots of things to do, but every square inch of this place smells like stale urine and hot dog water). Unless you are making a drastic change in setting - like from rural to urban, or from one country to another - you’re going to find that most places have very similar problems; high rents, rising cost of living, too much competition for jobs, bad dating scenes, overcrowded public transit, crumbling infrastructure, etc, etc. There might be legitimate reasons to want to leave your current location - you live in a dying small town, the climate where you live is affecting your health, you want to work in an industry that only exists in a specific location - but it’s important to keep in mind that location isn’t everything, and you can still make progress in your life while living somewhere that you don’t necessarily love or want to stay in. 

I can relate a lot to what you’re going through - while most of my friends moved out on their own right after high school and started what I thought were glamorous adult lives, I lived at home with my incredibly overbearing parents for four years and took the bus back and forth to a sensible, commuter campus university in a city that I didn’t like. I had friends and I did my best to make the most of my time in college, but part of me felt like I was being denied the formative experiences that other people were having - moving in with their partners, getting an off-campus apartment with roommates, partying all night and not having to answer to their parents, and so on. After graduating, though, I was able to find a full-time job in my field earning more than double the minimum wage, and I moved into an apartment with my best-friend-turned-boyfriend. The money I had saved by living at home during university allowed me to go after my dreams of attending grad school in NYC, and that decision led me to all kind of experiences I never expected to have and friends I never expected to meet. At 26, my life isn’t perfect, but it’s definitely well beyond what I expected when I was a frustrated 21-year-old commuting to school and having my mother constantly ask when I’d be home. Change takes time, and your 20s are tough. Have patience, and keep doing the best you can.

Best of luck to you!