#i'm getting all this aaaaaangst

[azol-otl]

for the au ask game: after his resurrection, jason sonehow became immortal. every time he dies, he returns to life shortly after. all of his "fake deaths" (utrh ending, battle for the cowl fight with dick, some new52 and rebirth stuff probably, etc.) are actually real deaths.

For the Ask Game

I reblog the ask game to get fluff and I keep getting angst D': Anyway,Jason is suicidal, that's canon. Like you can argue that he was suicidal since his later time as Robin, but it's just straight up text after he comes back to life. So him being immortal...

He takes it badly. Actually he takes it really badly. Like he's having a breakdown and wouldn't be surprised if he had several suicide attempts between the end of Under the Hood and Brothers in Blood. Like he was already not doing so hot mentally, but this is a suicidal man who cannot die and he very much does not care about his life. He's in a full manic episode time.

People don't realize he's suicidal usually. Because he annoys the shit out of them. He's manic and not the usual picture of suicidal. And like...the bats aren't good with suicidal people. Dick's probably the best...but he mostly helps people from a suicide hotline. He's helping people who know something is up and don't want to go through with it, or at least still want to fight for life. And Tim...well there was a comic where his tactic to stopping a suicidal person from committing suicide was to dare them to do it. Like...yikes my dude. He's not someone they think they need to help...and even then they see him stay alive after every time so he's fine obviously.

Jason has thoughts about being left to die in an explosion by both Bruce UtH) and Dick (BiB). His telegram to Dick was in between suicide attempts.

The first time since coming back to life where he isn't actively suicidal is actually with Roy and Kori. He didn't die in the submarine and having some actual kindness when Kori finds his body washing up onto her beach was enough for him even if he wasn't fully...not suicidal.

He was doing better about wanting to live, going from active to passively suicidal. His time after rhato Rebirth (Cheer, Task Force Z, Gotham War, this current arc) have pushed him back to actively suicidal because maybe one day it'll stick and if not he's getting shit done.

Nobody thinks he's been dying all this time. If they did...they'd be more uncomfortable with what happened or their own actions but not about what's happening to Jason. Secondary priority yet again.

I don't think this one would have a concrete end my friends. Probably just him coming back to life and thinking "Next time, maybe next time."

[lvlyghost]

The Things I Never Said: Part 3

Pairings: Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Summary: You're required for one last mission.

Word Count: 2.5k

Tw: aaaaaangst, hurt with a lot of comfort. injuries, mentions of blood, kissing and slightly suggestive but nothing too explicit. price has to make a hard choice:(poor grammar, bad english ofc💅🏻 foreshadowing to my price fic 'salvation' if you squint.

A/N: i'm not gonna lie, when i wrote the first part of this fic i was bored and never in a million years did it cross my mind y'all would like it this much. sorry if this isn't as good, this is the final part of it, although i plan to write little drabbles every now and then. this was such a nice ride 🩷✨ thx for the support; remember english isn't my first language, corrections are welcome 🤍🐸

Masterlist✨ Part 2

Desk rotation wasn't fun, but it seemed to be the only suitable work for you considering your pregnancy, besides, it would allow Simon to keep an eye on you. At least he's sure you'd be safer in the military base than alone in your home.

Your only companion as you sit in the tech room is nothing more than a computer with two screens and Jimmy, the other tech guy who sits in the far corner across from you.

True to his word, Price had saved you and Simon a horrible martial court plus being discharged. Technically you're no longer a part of the 141 task force which is already upsetting to all of your team; instead working strictly under Price's command and assisting the different branches of the military. Meaning you're no longer subdued to Lieutenant Riley, therefore you're not his subordinate, at least not directly.

You respond to Price and only Price.

Nearing the end of your first trimester your swollen belly has started to show, the same you try to dissimulate by wearing bigger shirts than you would usually wear, but enough for Simon to notice when he'd place a big calloused hand on your stomach.

'It's... tiny.' He had stated, to which you laughed softly.

'Of course it is, your hand is massive!'

You shake your head, with a small smile on your lips as you remember that scene.

"Everything good?" You ask your companion.

"Mhm. You know you're the best for creating the security system right? Not a single breach or flaw. Couldn't ask for a better partner."

"Is that a chai?" Completely ignoring what he just said you point the white disposable cup next to him. He looks between you and his drink.

"Yeah? Didn't know you liked it, here... have it. I can get another." He assures you when you hesitate.

You thank him with glowing eyes and excitement. Cravings... you're embarrassed of the amount of food you've asked from Simon in the middle of the night. Sushi, pizza and even peaches just for the sake of the baby.

He's being the gentlest man on earth. Caring and supportive. Your phone buzzes as you're about to start to work. The screen lights up with a message from your Captain. Huffing you stand up, letting Jimmy know you'll be back in a few minutes, or so you thought.

You're not prepared for the hell unfolding inside John's office.

You're able to hear male voices from the other side of the hallway. You don't know why but your heart begins to race, knocking twice once you've reached the brown wooden door.

"Come in!" Price shouts from inside.

You open the door, greeted by John's hardened eyes and Simon's back as he hunches over the Captain's desk. Confused and much to your dismay there's a gigantic folder between the two men, your eyes fall on Ghost's trembling frame.

He is enraged.

Body buzzing in anger as the soft click of the door interrupts the silence that's fallen suddenly inside.

"You wanted to see me Sir?"

Price slowly stands, Simon doing the same, turning his head ever so slightly to watch you from over his shoulder.

"I need to talk to you, sweetheart." Price begins.

A deep breath exits Simon's chest.

"What is it?" You take a step closer to them, until you're standing next to him, crossing his arms over his chest he remains silent.

"We need you. For a mission." He states. "It's important, sergeant. I don't think anyone else would be able to pull this off." Your eyes dart back to your boyfriend. Staring daggers at his superior. "I'd never ask for this if I had to."

"Bloody hell Price, she's not fucking going!" He is seething.

The gut-wrenching feeling sets in your belly, tossing and turning with anxiety. Simon isn't taking this well and you don't want to see him like this, it breaks your heart.

"How important, Sir?" You ask.

Ghost snaps his head towards you. Jaw tightening, and calls your name ever so softly.

"Don't." He barks. "Don't fucking play the hero, kid." He warns you.

"I'm not trying to play the hero, Simon." You talk back. "I'm trying to figure out how to get this done. I might have someone else that could go in my place." Price sighs. "Can I do it from the base? Maybe I don't have to leave the compound."

"Reports say the files are heavily encrypted. It's the Russians, sergeant. We're not dealing with amateurs." He turns to Ghost emphasizing the last word. "You more than anyone should understand, Lieutenant."

"Not when you're bloody sending her to a suicide mission!"

"These are not my orders Simon! General Shepherd wants her! I tried to talk him out of it. I can't do much more, son." You swallow when Simon starts pacing around like a rabid dog, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Is there any way I can do it? She can guide me through it the whole time..." he's back, leaning closer to his Captain. "I know I...-"

"Unless you know how to code and decrypt systems to perfection it can't be, Ghost. I'm sorry."

"It would only slow down the mission, get you caught. And in danger..." you reasoned, mumbling and staring down to your feet. There's no one else. Not even Jimmy. The one you had in mind.

Simon's mouth snapped shut.

His eyes are helpless when he connects them with yours. The realization of what's about to happen sinking in his core, he tried. He really did.

One long stride and he's embracing you, so tightly you think you'll suffocate; you hug him back, head resting right over where his heart beats frantically against his ribcage.

"I'm coming with her." He snarls. "Not Kyle, not Johnny. And certainly not someone from fucking KorTac." He turns to glare at Price with a death stare. "It'll be me, no one else."

-

"John's devastated." You tell him. Your back pressing against his hard chest. The water in the bathtub is warm, and smells like lavender and sandalwood. After the catastrophic meeting a few hours ago, Simon was too outraged to remain at the base so he drove both of you back to the safety of his apartment. You rest your head on his left shoulder, enjoying the delicate touch of his hands on your lower belly. He hums, almost absentmindedly. He didn't want to think about Price, or the mission for all that matters. All he can think of is you. He sighs, closing his eyes he presses a kiss on your hair.

"Bloody fucking bald cunt." He spits. You snort at his comment. Shepherd was a complicated man, and hardly one you could negotiate with once he had his mind set on something or someone.

"When do we have to...-"

"Tomorrow." Your lips are pressed into a thin line. "I'll be there no matter what, right next to you, love." He reassures you. You were never one to hesitate during missions but now... releasing a shaky breath you turn your head to look at Simon.

"I'm scared..." Simon's body goes rigid. The hand on your stomach halting. "It's not even for me, you know?" Swallowing your free hand reaches down to find his own, lacing your fingers with him. A muscle becoming prominent in his jaw as he grits his teeth.

"Nothing will happen to you. Bloody count on it, yeah? First shite I deem dangerous I'm pulling us out of there, understand?" You nod.

"Promise me you won't get hurt." There's a moment of silence that becomes unbearable the longer it extends. "Simon..." his eyes are fixated on yours, shining with what you can only describe as worship. The faintest of smiles spreads across his features.

"Don't you worry about me, sweetheart. Not for one second." Breathing deeply you pull him down for a kiss. It's slow and tender; makes you forget about all the difficulties you face. Biting down his lip, Simon takes it as a sign to further deepen the kiss. Tongues finding each other in a fight for dominance. "Don't wanna think about what tomorrow holds. I have you here right now. That's all I need."

-

Your mind goes back to the moments you and Simon shared last night. It was so simple, so real.

That's how things were supposed to be.

Easy.

Not heart wrenching, not stifling down a cry as you watch him get shot. A bullet that was aimed at you .Breaking in had been easy. Way too easy for your liking. But you thought that for once maybe a mission wouldn't be a pain in the ass. The hardest part was getting inside their systems; John was right. It was hellish even for you. It took more time than what you had anticipated. No one would've been able to pull it off.

"Whoever is behind this, they're good." You acknowledged as you type down the codes that will eventually get you in.

"Bloody brilliant you are, kid." Simon watches from the other side of the room, eyes scanning the hallway every now and then looking for any possible hostiles. You send him a coy smile.

"Keep looking at me like that and I'll get no work done."

"How am I supposed to look at you then?" He asks

You don't answer because the screen in front of you suddenly shifts from 'Access denied' to 'Access granted'.

"Got you." You whisper. Simon stands straight. You plug your USB and start downloading all the information as well as setting a virus so their system gets permanently damaged.

"What is it?" He gruffly asks when the files finished downloading on your own device. Clearing your throat you try to ignore the horrible pictures you just took a glimpse of.

"Just... insanity." Is all you can say. A loud metallic sound echoes in the room, you never get to see the person behind you. Ghost's eyes widen and he barks an order your ears don't register, static fills your eardrums. The gunfire starts but lasts mere seconds. Crimson blood splutters from Simon's body.

You stand up, knocking down the chair as you jump out and run where Simon's injured body kneels. You fall down grabbing him by the face. The pain you're feeling deep inside has never been worse.

"I'm fine." He hisses. "Just my fucking shoulder."

As if that would make you feel better.

"Let's get the hell out of here." Your lips quiver. You run back to retrieve the small USB drive.

The body of a man lays down, a pool of blood forms around him. He was hiding behind you the entire time. Had Simon been distracted the outcome could've been atrocious. Yo don't dwell on it.

"Come on, baby." You urge him, crouching down to help Simon as much as you can to get him standing. His weight is just too much for you, you think, when he finally raised to his feet.

"S'okay love. Don't... don't overwork yourself. I'm too heavy, don't wanna get you hurt because of me."

Tears form in the corner of you eyes at such selfless act.

"You're the one who got hurt because of me, Simon." You stammer.

"So what? Would fucking die for you." You shake your head but keep close to him. Pressing down the wound on his shoulder as you head towards the exit. "Evac point is ten minutes away. We should be fine." The gun that rests on your thigh feels heavier than it should.

You're lucky, you guess as you walk away from the god forsaken building.

Lucky that you have him by your side, even when his blood stains your fingers. He's there, you're there and you're making it out alive. Wounded or not, Simon would never let anything happen to you, that's how deep his love for you was.

He wasn't like his dad at all.

He was real, caring, something not much people knew. Not in their lifetime.

The amount of blood he was losing was inhumane. An injured shoulder couldn't cause someone to lose this much blood, you ponder. Your black shirt feels sticky and damp, you take a quick glance and hold back a sob. Another gunshot wound, one he didn't care enough to tell you about and you didn't notice, too scared to even think.

Far in the distance between two big threes a black truck awaits. Johnny's face dropping when he noticed Ghost's decaying form. He rushes in your direction, taking him off of you, carrying his weight. He gives you a concerned look.

"Johnny..." you choke up. "We have to save him, please."

-

It's been the worst 48 hours of your life since you landed. He got two surgeries done in order to remove the fragments from inside his body. You were exhausted, barely ate or slept. It almost felt criminal, selfish, when your eyes started to close and finally gave in.

Then the nightmares came.

Ones where he didn't make it back and instead you had to leave him behind and never got to meet his child.

A warm feeling spreads from your skin. A faint touch. Are you still dreaming? His face erupts in your subconscious mind and you cry again. He's fine.

When you slowly open up your eyes you're met with blue eyes and a raspy voice.

"Don't neglect yourself for me, kid." You're speechless, the searing pain in your heart eases. He knows you so well. Knows you haven't left his side. "Takes more than a bullet to keep me away from you." When you don't move nor speak he continues, clearing his throat. "Come here, sweet thing."

There's a new wave of tears that fall mercilessly down your cheeks. You carefully climb up next to Simon's good side.

"Don't you ever scare me like that!" you weep. Sobbing uncontrollably Simon hushes you. Murmuring words of comfort in your ear. The anesthesia is still making him feel dizzy but that doesn't stop him from kissing every part of your face. Your hair, your forehead, your cheek and finally your lips.

"Let's leave this place for a while. Go on vacation while we still can..." you beg.

Simon's lips twitch. He's smiling down at you.

"What do you have in mind doll?"

You breathe deeply.

"Greece. I always wanted to go to Greece."

There's moments in life when you doubt you'll get a happy ending. Being with Simon at first was pure coincidence, something that had evolved from deep admiration and respect, which then turned into something more. It turned out to sleepless nights at the common room with the task force. Longing stares during briefings. Looking after each other during missions.

The training sessions together. Lending his massive leather jacket because you were always reluctant to bring your own. That one night he couldn't resist it anymore and went to your dorm. How you felt under his touch, oh he was touch starved when it came to you. And when he learned he was going to be a father, that moment would be ingrained into his memory until his very last day.

"Greece it is."

It's a promise.

TAGS:

@nijiru @illyanam1011

[therealpizzaheadiswear]

HAHAHAHA! HELLO! HI!

Welcome to my blog! I'm Pizzahead, and we're gonna have fun here, haha!

This site is gonna be one of my first interactions with the world outside of my tower, but haha, i'll manage!

(psst, hey! i'm the person who runs this thing. this is also my first time doing anything like this, so sorry if it's bad.)

(anyways, i'm gonna speak in these parenthesis just because i want people to know the difference in tags about whether Pizzahead or i am saying a thing.)

(so here are some rules btw-)

1: I could be a bit slow with asks sometimes. Sorry, but i got a life, and i can't control that. Just dont get angry or demand asks be turned on or answered or smth

2: I'm a minor, and i have friends that dislike NSFW! At their worst, keep asks mildly suggestive please! Otherwise they will be deleted

3: Basic DNI stuff (racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.)

4: Don't be mean in general, unless its for RP reasons

(and if you want to refer to me, you can just call me RandMod. Okay now some other info...)

I think that one blue square on my blog is usually called "asks" by others or somethin? Well, haha, either way, mine are...

Open! Go ahead, don't be shy, ha! say whatever!

Closed! Sorry, heh, ya gotta come back later!

Hrm... Think that's about enough for now, ha! Bye!

(And also, here's my explanation on some of the tags ill use. I'm using them all on this post mostly to check if they don't exist yet...)

("Just silly pizza thoughts" will be used whenever Pizzahead is just saying things)

("Just sad pizza thoughts" will be used for AAAAAANGST!!! which apparently happens a lot ig)

("the RandMod speaks!" will be used whenever i make a post that's just me talking to you directly, or if i'm in a post)

("Pizzahead's art gallery" will be used when art is reblogged on this blog, which will be rare unless its direct fanart for this blog)

(And of course i will use the basic tags of "Pizzahead" and "Pizza Tower" for each post)

(Oh, and you can do just about whatever with the stuff from this blog as long as u credit it, and it abides to the rules from earlier)

(Alright then, uh... bye. Hope you have some sort of fun with this...)

[jessicas-pi]

WIP tag game

Tagged by @tarisilmarwen

Rules: In a new post, list the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I have a terrifying number of WIPs so I'm not going to do every single one but here's most of them, semi-organized by time period:

TCW fics:

Matchmaking, Mad Science, And Accidental Child Acquisition: How To Bother Your Bodyguard, Befriend Some Social Outcasts, Raise A Foundling, And Survive The Ongoing Sheevery (You Might Just Fall In Love, Too)

Ugh, look what you made me do

Jaig Eyes and Diamonds

Midnight Snacks, Space PowerPoints, And Jedi-Nightsister Intercultural Relations

the sheevery ends and the shenanakins begin

Fives' Blyla Fic (Feat. Jesse's Beta Reader Notes)

A Friend in Need (of therapy and maybe a nap)

The Secret Life Of Queen Apailana

mandalorianakin

The Pad(awan) Batch

Rebels/OT fics:

Paint Bombs, Pixie Cuts, And Elopement: How To Spite Your Mother, Troll Your Friends, Scandalize High Society, And Escape An Arranged Marriage (You Might Just Stop A War, Too)

rebelvengers assemble

Licorice offerings (and other ways to cope)

Graveyards and ghost towns (and other stuff you wouldn't expect to be bonding experiences but were anyway)

that awkward moment when your bf's family is a bunch of oversized judgy canines

Starbirds and Wolves

Yes, I’ve Been Brokenhearted (Blue Since The Day We Parted)

All I've Learned Has Overturned

It's A Rich Man's World

We're In This Together

April's Tomfoolery

In Hindsight, This May Not Have Been The Best Idea

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm hOOKED ON A FEEELLING

Local Teenagers' Vacation Ruined By Tropes, More At Six

the jetpack fic

This Is Fine

The Phantom(s) Of The Eclipse

this is getting out of hand now there are two of ALL of them

and they were CELLMATES

Commit To The Bit

The Promises AU

How To Train Your Mythosaur

It's About Time

Lost In (Wild) Space

Frances Hodgson Burnett Star Wars Rebels Crossover

Parenting For Dummies

Philosophies, Prophecies, And Even More Found Family

road trip! road trip!

Twin Blades And Beskar

Runie Kressa Wridger’s Guide To Human-Merfolk Relationships: Friends, Enemies, Family, And Really Hot Guys You’re Gonna Marry Someday.

The Rebel Chronicles

AAAAAANGST

even more adoption

Ship Wars

You Could Do Better

she would not, in fact, Let It Go

Other fics:

Time Heals Old Hate (put your armor on)

Time Heals Shaken Hope (brave the coming night)

Time Makes Things Known

Time Tells Most Secrets (and quinlan tells the rest)

What Time Cannot Take (long as we are loved)

bo-katan and her tin can man

Befriended!

MandaloREYan

untitled modern au

local goth space prince adopts 31 assassins: could this be a redemption arc?

And since there's no way I'm going to be able to tag 56 people, I'll do an open tag to literally anyone who wants to play!

[mdhwrites]

🦝 Ah sorry if I wrote too much in my previous ask 😅

It's rare to find someone in the fandom I can share a thought with without triggering something, let alone criticizing, so I may have gotten overboard last time...

.

I'll make the asks shorter and in parts, and gonna keep it simple on what I said in the previous one for the future. I'm curious on your perspective as a writer (negative or positive), I also tend to over analyze things but never had the skill to put it in words and that's something I admire in someone else work.

And don't feel forced to answer right away or answer at all if you don't want to. This is for fun, in a way.

Thank you for the concern. I wouldn't be doing these if I didn't have the energy or the like. I honestly don't know why they're not causing issues with my anxiety which is so bad that considering doing anything actually important or talking about it (like right now) causes debilitating headaches. *sigh* As someone who has been lit on fire by the fandom twice in the past two weeks on Twitter, trust me, I know what you mean. -_- Though actually, since you're new, here's a link to my Ao3 And a link to the fanfic version of my first converted story with TOH (it was written to be able to just have the names replaced so it's 99% original anways) (Rom Com that takes the werewolf curse in it seriously) As well as a link to my really angsty one that's getting converted later this year that a lot of people had depressing but encouraging comments of relating all too much to the anxieties and pains of Lumity in a Crises Recovery Center. *siiiiiiiigh* (AAAAAANGST with a happy ending) Oh, and a Lumischa TOH one off that then got expanded into an original novella (when I say this show meant a lot to me, I FUCKING MEANT IT). (Coming of Age Romance) (I really wish Lumischa wasn't normally stupid long and so made into serials so I could have more Lumischa works to link when doing this. I have more Lumischa works like my 300k behemoth the Power of Love but also, you know... trying to make it as a writer too) But I also want to add one more thing: I do not claim to be a perfect writer. Not by a long shot. I don't even claim my credentials as a writer for why you should listen to me. I have no college degree, I learned to write through my analysis and feedback from editors, and there are published authors, traditionally not self like me (yay for 95% of my income being from disability...), who are dog shit at what they do. So instead, if someone likes my opinions and insights, I want that to be because I can make a good, coherent case they can agree with. And if they don't, that's fine. People are allowed differing opinions (regardless of what people on Twitter think).

[paopura]

sora  ,   kh1  -  khddd  :   my   friends   are   my   power  !   my   own   strength   gets   stronger   when   they’re   with   me   /   i   fight   for   them   /   i   think   of   them  !

sora  ,   kh3  :   :)   i   might   actually   be   legitimately   useless   on   my   own   and   it   scares   me   to   death   but   i   have   to   try  ,   i   have   to   protect   them  ,   i   have   to   try

[losebetter]

look mates, i’m not saying i don’t get it, i’m not saying there isn’t a big basis for shipping characters based on stuff like this, but sometimes i feel like i’m just yelling at a brick wall and tearing my hair out every time you goofs pick m/m ships and decide you want the mean, catty, invasive, tragic ones to get together and continually degrade each other until one of them inevitably fucks the trauma out of the other one. why do y’all think gay male romance is just Like That. Why

[prismatic-starstuff]

Aaaaaangst time!

So Varre is Mogh's number one fan. Of course... Hell, we'll say the Tarnished is brought along too... Biiiit of a rivalry as to "who gets to sit on Luminary Mogh's lap." Interpret that as you will.

They're CONSTANTLY butting heads. Yet at the same time, they've both got this level of respect as well.

Something happens to Varre -- not entirely sure what, but he's injured and he's dying.

And both Mogh and the Tarnished are right there, doing whatever they can to save him.

...

...

...

...

... We'll say that Varre DOES survive whatever mess he got himself into.

Ooh... Oooooooooh, this got my brain wheels turning...

So, even though Mohg and Consort Lambkin do clearly care about Varré - they wouldn't have tried to save him otherwise, and they've all been through so much together, of course they care about him - I'm now thinking about... what if, in this scenario, Varré was injured by the Night's Cavalry because he was trying to get to Margit; and what if he wanted to see Margit specifically because he wanted to change allegiances?

I'm now just imagining Mohg in a furious rage, fully prepared to take the fight to Morgott because one of his soldiers dared to lay hands on his Varré... but whether it's because he doesn't want to mislead his lord, or because Morgott has become something of an idealised concept for him while he's been jaded with Mohg and his consort, Varré admits what really happened. He admits that he was injured because the Night's Cavalry saw him as an enemy in their territory... and he admits that he went to their territory because he wanted to see their lord; because in that moment, he'd believed he could've found the love he'd once found in Mohg elsewhere.

...I'm in my angst feelings now, but now I'm also considering the possibility of Varré x Morgott, which is a very interesting concept...

[simply-strangers]

Just for funsies, a few questions!

1. You can only read one of these forever: smut angst fluff

2. You can only write one of these forever: smut angst fluff

3. Are there any tropes you enjoy?

4. Are there any blogs you love and want to shoutout?

5. Are there any requests you wish someone would ask but no one has? If yes, write them for us!

😃 GIMME

Probably smut just because you can incorporate fluff and angst within them with just subtle details and you can get pretty creative wth it all. It's boring without a little buildup and drama✨

Aaaaaangst. Fluffy angst is my favorite but if I can only have one then I have to go with my trademark. I have a lot of negative emotions that I can channel into my writings so that I can be happy. That and I love making people really feel. I might be funny but I'm a sucker for suffering... Not physically but y'know

eNeMiEs To LoVeRs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's my drug 💀

@ajokeformur-ray definitely deserves some recognition. You can all thank them for my blog even EXISTING. They are my inspiration and I love them so much for simply being

Not really....I do enjoy some good requests though. I like writing the HC's and everything but I wouldn't mind a one shot being sent in. I have difficulty with inspiration so no I have no specific ask I am awaiting.

[arlothia]

Okay, fanfic ask.

C, I, K, M, N, P, U and Z

Alrighty, these letters are brought to you by THIS fanfic ask game, so let's get to answering!

C - What member do you identify with most?

By 'member' I'm assuming this means 'team member', so I would definitely be the researcher/the one who knows/can find out everything :P

I - Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

'Guilty pleasure' implies I feel guilt about it ;) hehehe! But I just love me my whump! All the whump!!

K - What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Ooooooo! I think my angstiest idea is probably something I haven't written yet, but I have some stuff in my Middle-earth Saga (see more below) that I was like "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS BUT I HAVE TO BECAUSE IT HAS TO HAPPEN!!!!" 😭😭 But as I don't want to give them away, I shall remain mum on the specifics ;)

M - Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Well, I already mentioned my Indentured Servant fic in another ask, so for this one, I'm going to say an ages-long, multigenerational Middle-earth fic that surrounds some of the events of Tolkien's works while also writing before, between, and after them. I have this whole little world in my head that fits in with his work (as much as possible) that I've been thinking about for....oh wow....20 years????? There's so much there and SO many characters, and I'm VERY heavily invested in it. Now all I gotta do is write it...heh!

N - Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

THAT MIDDLE-EARTH SAGA!!! It's completely alive in my head, I know the characters, I know the general plots as well as a bunch of specific things, so if someone can just read my brain and write it down exactly how I want it, that'd be great, thanks!

P - Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

ARCHITECT!!!

ARCHITECT!!!

ARCHITECT!!!

ARCHITECT!!!

ARCHITECT!!!

ARCHITECT!!!

Does that answer the question? :P But seriously, this is why I'm, like, the slowest writer out there ;)

U - Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Teej - Oh my goodness when she writes a fic, SHE WRITES A FIC!!! Freaking novellas, y'all!! You don't get a simple one-off, you get a full blown story and it's AWESOME!!

Lea - AAAAAANGST!!!!!! Oh man do you ever feel things when you read her stuff! Oof!!! My heart will never be the same!

Aggie - Freaking characterization!! She NAILS IT!!!!! The characters come to life and I can see her fics as movies in my head as I read!

I will forever love you three and I'm so happy to call you friends!! *hugshugshugs*

Z - Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

I haven't written any yet, but they are planned. They're part of those angsty ideas of mine up above ;) It's not my cup of tea for reading unless it's part of the canon and if there's an actual POINT to their death and not just stupid angst fodder because the author has no better idea :P Like I said, I love my whump, but if the whumpee dies then that negates much of the whump for me.

As for one character death I can't tolerate.... Are you ready Teej and Lea? You know what's coming:

Forever bitter, forever sobbing 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[angsty-nerd]

Happy Thanksgiving!

I’m not usually one for sappy holiday posts, but I just wanted to pop my head in today and say that I’m so damn thankful this year for Roswell, New Mexico and for this fandom for coming into my life this year! Because I can’t really begin to fully express how much this fandom means to me right now.

This fandom reconnected me with one of my favorite people who I had been disconnected from the past few years...so I am incredibly thankful this year that this fandom reconnected me with @tasyfa. Today I will also reminisce and remember the Canadian Thanksgiving that we spent together many, many years ago in Toronto and what a great trip that was!

I am thankful for all of the new people that this fandom has brought into my life. It has had such a positive impact on me, and I love getting to chat with y’all and theorize with y’all and squee over gifset and episode rewatches with you all. So this year I am so very thankful for y’all, @suzteel, @maxortecho, @latessitrice, @queenrikki, @mercenarywitch, @piccolina-mina, @faithtrustaliendust, @viaomens , @lizacstuff, @laniel-young-again, @lsyoung28, @lesbianmaxevans, and all of the others that I’m sure I’m leaving off, because I really do appreciate all y’all.

Edited to add... @seeaddywrite !! I forgot you and I don't want to forget you, so I'm adding you in hours later!! Adore you & am so glad to have met you this year! 😘

I am thankful that this show and this fandom got me writing again, finally, after all of these years. It’s so enriching and so motivating and it makes me so happy. And all y’all’s support, especially during Fictober, was so, so humbling and wonderful.

I’m thankful for Jeanine Mason, for being the biggest Liz and Echo stan of us all, for being the biggest and best advocate of this show, and just for being an amazing, badass, Latina woman and using that to advocate for wonderful causes and to create an amazing community around her. I want to watch Liz Ortecho be a badass for as long at this show is meant to last for, hopefully the next 4 more years.

I’m thankful for Nathan Dean Parsons...for perfectly embodying a hot, angsty alien cowboy and for giving me a whole new level of thirst that I didn’t even know I had in me. 😆 And I refuse to just be shallow, so I also want to thank him for how much work I know he puts into his character and getting Max right, and that is awesome to see. I know part of what makes this show so special is his partnership with Jeanine and how carefully they craft their characters together, and that just is wonderful to see. In every fandom I have ever participated in, it has never been more clear to me than in this one how DIFFERENT the actor is from the character, and that really impresses me and really helps me to buy into him as an actor. So thanks, Nathan. Gonna miss you until you’re alive again, Max Evans.

I am thankful for Michael Trevino for being our most consistent glimpse into the show behind the scenes, and for giving us a good guy Kyle who is so friggin loveable that I actually don’t believe its possible for anyone in this fandom NOT to love Kyle. And I am thankful that, with all the flying and instagramming you do, that you are still safely among us 😂. STOP THAT. haha.

I am thankful to Lily Cowles for being one cool chic and I am hopeful that we will see a more human and well rounded Isobel this year.

I am thankful for Amber Midthunder for coming back for the season, even though she is plenty busy with Fargo and all of her other projects too. And I can’t WAIT to see Rosa’s plot play out this year!

I am thankful for Heather Hemmens for being friggin adorable and for bringing us a killer strong, independent Maria. And for how lovely it is once she lets her walls down and shows those moments of vulnerability.

I guess I will also be grateful for Vlamis for being such a dynamic supporting character on this show and for being so open and willing to interact with the fandom, to the point of occasionally instagram stalking me... haha.

And then Tyler Blackburn for his excellent portrayal of Alex’s character arc last season. And for his delivery of the line that gave me my new screen name. Haha.

Finally I’ll thank Carina for giving me such a well rounded, dynamic show full of diversity, political commentary, epic romance, aaaaaangst, plot twists... I never expected to love this show so much, dare I say, so much more than OG Roswell?

March feels very far away right now, but the next month is going to FLY with the holidays...and then I’ll probably be moving...and then March is just suddenly going to be here and we’ll be all, whoa! Where did the time go!!

Happy Thanksgiving y’all!

[scummy-writes]

Yaaaay, Yoosung day!!! I'm gonna request something our poor floofy baby is gonna have to deal with someday: one of the pets in his care dying/needing to be euthanized. Aaaaaangst~

(｡•́︿•̀｡) Why do you want to hurt me?

- At first, he refused to believe it. There was a brief moment where the puppy was doing well, where it even managed a playful bark once. He’s dead set on figuring out why it was okay for that brief amount of time- What medicine did they use? Did it get sick with something else??

- So for a couple of nights, he’s running on just coffee and determination, but before he can find a new treatment, he gets the news that it’s not going to make it into the next day.

- On the phone he just sounds exhausted, but when he hangs up he’s looking for you and burying his face against your shoulder. He seems a bit calm, just wrapping his arms around you and squeezing you tight, but he slowly starts shaking, and then he’s outright sobbing

- “What am I going to say to that little girl? I promised her I would- I just. I promised-”

- He doesn’t sleep again that night. He’s trying his best to stop crying, stop being so emotional, but then he imagines the young owner and starts crying again.

- In the morning he’s just a zombie. Two nights worth of bags under his eyes, hand barely holding onto the coffee mug you bought him a few months ago. He doesn’t eat breakfast, but he manages a small smile when you kiss him goodbye.

- And at work he’s stressed. He had a nurse put the puppy down overnight, and he’s just waiting for that little girl and the mother to come in.

- When she does, the mom and the girl take one look at him and realize that the puppy didn’t make it. He can’t even get the words out- He’s never had to explain this situation. All of the animals under his care had lived before this one.

- Of course the girl cries, and it’s hard for him not to either. Especially when she gets mad at him. He just doesn’t know how to handle the situation, and eventually the girls mom takes her away, promising to try and take her somewhere to cheer her up.

- Yoosung gets to sleep that night, but for the next few days he’s depressed. No LOLOL, cute animals, or you can even cheer him up. And for a bit, you get legitimately concerned. 

- Then one day he comes home with a soft smile. When you question it, he tells you about the little girl coming back in. Apparently, the little girl felt pretty bad for getting mad at him and came to apologize. The thing he’s happy the most, though, is that she said it wasn’t his fault. That she knew he tried his best. 

- It’s a bit of a relief that her visit cheers him up, but you secretly try to plan again for this in the future, even if he doesn’t want to accept that it may happen again.