#i'm full of thoughts i'm sorry
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Elizabeth Olsen the woman that you are ~
#my heart just stop#mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy?#head full of sinful thoughts#I'm not sorry#Elizabeth Olsen#lizzie olsen#new Elizabeth Olsen#mommy elizabeth olsen#wlw#women's suits
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scusi?? 😳🥵 x
#how eh.. i lost my train of thought what?#if anyone ever asks me why i am feral for this man#show em that#everything about this#sorry this lives in my mind rent free#am i unhinged again today?? does this have anything to do with it?? take a guess#thanks leah for sending me this#long ass post i know but i'm not sorry you need this is full size#tobias forge#ghost#ghost band#copia#papa emeritus#ghesties#ghost sweden#the band ghost#myedit#papa emeritus iv
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this drawing is from a couple mouths back now; ......but i still like it 😝 forbidden love as witnessed by ms. Varona. it killed off my traditional art kick when i was done with it, but i had fun. i used very faint watercolors for this one just to see how well i'd do with them and pencils together. my favorite part of it is this tree, love how it looked in this WIP pic i took:
and some random bits of the drawing but closer because i do love pencils as yk✍
had to compress the whole pic a bit cus it was huge, but a version that's a bit better can be seen heare, still not the best it could be, still crunchy, but better nonetheless
#tes#skyrim#talvas fathryon#neloth#varona nelas#my art#second nelvas drawing on a full A4 format....... i should make another and have it be an incoherent trilogy#filling out big areas with black is literally no joke LMFAOO i wanted it to keep the texture so didn't really give it a much darker -#- watercolor backdrop#it's kinda Cute how u can see me go out of bounds with the watercolors in places Ok WERK#dramatized drawing for dramatization purposes bcos neloth isn't taller than talvas but i needed it for the power imbalance to happen Bye#nelvas been so good to me art wise this year i like to see it as me already perfecting my Thinking skill and devoting more time to -#- 'art' instead; while last yr i was just trying to mold my thought pattern on skyrim characters to perfection instead#instead of focusing it on 'art'.#not related to the whole shtick of 'drawing the same characters over and over and getting better' cause i don't like that viewpoint people#- have on their drawings; i'm getting better because i want to ..... and i have something special going on with talvas fathryon...exactly#i'm very......in touch....with my.......nelothian side!#(diagnosis sheet)#i'm sorry for being a reincarnation of him in this timeline it really is a tragedy
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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I understand why Watcher wants to try and pull a Dropout TV, I do, advertisers suck etc, but if you want $6 a month from me to watch a glorified youtube channel, I'm gonna need Ryan and Shane to start a weekly DnD game like that's the only thing that could convince me to get yet another fucking subscription service in my rotation lol.
#watcher#im so sad you guys#i will miss the ghoul boys#their vids have always been sort of a comfort binge thing for me#i already rotate paying for one tv sub at a time can't believe they thought $6 was a reasonable choice#wild#and in this economy???#I Might give you $6 once or twice a year just to watch Ghost Files but thats about it i'm sorry#top 5 beatdown and survival mode are alright too but like... they arent full tv shows im not gonna pay like they are. thats youtube content
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Just your average day at The Seven penthouse (Vought Tower)
⚠️ Homelander in lace bodycage lingerie ⚠️
(🔗 to the 🔞 Full Uncensored Fanart on Twitter)
CONTEXT
(🔗 L'APPEL DU VIDE - Studded Lace Bodycage)
Bonus: alternate version without the red eyes
#homelander#the boys#the boys tv#the boys amazon#butchlander#lingerie#you can imagine the bite mark on his thigh is from a V-ed up Butcher (or yourself if you want)#you asked; I delivered#I'd thought about posting the full image but with the important bits censored...but I'm too afraid to risk it for the biscuit#if you want to see it in its full glory head on over to Twitter#I decided on the red eyes bc it added extra ✨ pizzazz ✨#I'm sorry it's cursed lol but I had fun with it hehe#only Boyscord and close irl friends got to see the version of him nekkid 🤫#I used this as a fun opportunity to shitpost (lol) and practice human anatomy 😤#my art#featured#phoenixtakaramono
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kitchen of witch hat vibes
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i have more stuff but this looks like a normal post someone normal would make#MR QIFRY SOUNDS SO GAY IN KITCHEN VOLUME 3. WHAT IN THE. every single word he says.#i'm sorry i scorned the translator because i thought orufrey was being made less gay. i still have Quibbles but im sorry.#sensei drew live orufrey in canada but i dont know that actually bc if i read about that i would feel so jealous i'd feel sick! thank god#(takarazuka talk->) REIKOUMI.......i have not thought of zuka for months bc i really drifted away due to reasons#and it was hard to feel the full emotion i should be feeling. :( mix of depression & witch hat atelier hyperfixation#that makes it physically impossible sometimes to access lain aside feelings that i really do feel#BUT...right at the end of the sayonara show with the long long held kiss and the music suddenly everything HIT and i started bawling#they were/are deeply deeply special. i will NEVER forget what they mean..i'll go on my personal reikoumi pilgrimage leading to tokyo raku..#i love takarazuka even if i love witch hat atelier <- Autistic affirmations
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Theres something about the idea of Sparrow and Logan's birth thats really hitting me.
Sparrow has been fighting their entire life, even in their childhood we see them having to resort to violence. They've spent their entire adult life stuck in the past, fighting entirely for the goal of avenging Rose. The future has never mattered as much as the past does, no matter how much Theresa whispered about it.
But now theres Logan.
For the first time, they do have a future that matters, Logans future.
Not the future Theresa tells her of, not the violence they've always known, not the weight of the world of the world on his shoulders.
Violence is an integral part of them thats so intimately woven into who they are as a person.
They don't want it to be like that for Logan.
I think thats clear in the way that Logan seems to idolize them, the fact that he chose to go on expeditions outside of Albion as opposed to being forced to. The fact that he seemingly was unaware of the darkness and the destiny laid for him and the hobw to try and stop it before meeting it.
According to Theresa one of their children is meant to save the world, but Sparrow has their first child, sees their son, innocent and yet to be hurt like they have, and chooses a different path, even if only temporarily.
In a way its finally avenging themselves, the child in them that was killed with Rose and replaced with a hero tormented by all thats happened. As long as they're alive, they'll keep their children safe from that same fate. They allow them to have a life outside of being a hero, unlike them. They allow them to have a childhood. They free them from the expectations that were held on them.
Logans birth is a huge moment for Sparrow for so many reasons, it's not just the birth of the first child, the one they get to be with the longest, but its arguably the birth of a new Sparrow.
#fable 2#fable 3#fable#sparrow#hero of bower lake#logan fable#this isn't the best thought out post#might delete it because I am kind of a teensy weensy bit out of it but i has made me cry thinking about this lmao#I just have a lot of thoughts about sparrow and logans and I couldn't stop thinking about a fem sparrow#holding a newborn logan; knowing full well what Theresa told them about their childs future#and deciding as long as they live they'll protect him from it#like we don't know when they hide they guild seal but they do#they cut off the way Theresa can speak to them; and I know they tell walter how to find it to give it to hobw#but I'd aruge thats because while they know they can prevent the ruining of their kids childhoods but their fate is inevitable#sparrow likely wasn't the best parent; i imagine it was a struggle; but also I do genuinely think they try#they try so hard man#sorry I'm ramnling lmao
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My actual worst nightmare.
If MHA was a good manga with a competent author, Izuku would use prosthetics and still fulfill his dream. But considering how the first volume went- everyone telling him he couldn't do something because of a "disability" (I use that word so lightly because in every other fictional setting it's not a disability. Even though heroes usually have powers, heroes like Batman and Iron-Man have always been part of the norm, expected to pop up even. Horikoshi decided to make that a minority, and then never address it) without even letting him try- I sincerely doubt it.
I fear Hori won't even give him prosthetics (don't ask me why, it's just a feeling I have that he would put the fact that Izuku has no arms on display to make it "sentimental." Giving him proper assistive devices would be too humane for him to do to Izuku), have him quit heroics, and then make him watch from the sidelines as Bakugou becomes the #1.
(Of course, he'll try to frame it as Bakugou honoring Izuku by fulfilling his dream for him. Yet again giving Bakugou the spotlight while Izuku's pain and trauma is ignored)
And without his quirk, that's just more incentive for Horikoshi to push the story that way. Basically undoing everything he set up in the beginning of his story. The victim gets stripped of the power he earned, becomes physically disabled with no form of support, and witnesses his abuser get everything he wants.
Somehow, that's more twisted than anything Gege could have come up with.
(Or he'll somehow take it all back which means everything was for nothing in the end)
#anti bakugou katsuki#mha critical#bnha critical#izuku deserves better#tw ableism#mha is kinda full of that#tw dark thoughts#i kinda went morbid there#sorry#i just have a bad feeling#i do not trust that mf#i can really see him doing this#i hope i'm wrong#that's the real worst ending#horikoshi critical
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dazai and oda are a tragic story with unrequited love and the fandom is reading it with their eyes closed.
#sorry not sorry#I don't know how to word it exactly#its not even shipping them#it's just. reading the text. read the lines. its all THERE#it's the same when I say Kyouka has a crush on Atsushi but Atsushi only sees her as a friend/sibling#but when it comes to oda and dazai#I'm constantly torn between “there's always a platonic explanation for everything” and the “wow thats just plain love in it's fullest”#and sincerely when I say I got into the fandom because of oda and dazai. I truly meant I thought they had something going on#just tell their story to a person who knows nothing about them and I assure you they'll think it's a tale of unrequited love#just look at beast.#LOOK AT THEM#HHHHHH#the fandom is full of cowards.#bungou stray dogs#bsd.txt#might delete. we'll see we'll see.#odazai
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BONUS
#DON'T LOOK AT ME#i am not responsible for the thoughts in my brain when i see maximus in this outfit#it's like a whole extra level of wet dream inducing hotness#LOOK AT THOSE ARMS#HIS NECK#HIS ABSOLUTELY UNFLAPPABLE FACE#i am so obsessed with the fourth one when he's snarling at haken#i could write an essay on it#maybe one day when my brain is saying more than “hmmshdsdhj hahaajsksdshf SEX”#who knew that an academy-award winning scrap of sackcloth could be the sexiest costume on earth#HE'S BUILT FOR IT#yeah i spent a long time getting the perfect shot of the back of his neck#there are several throughout the movie but that one is. that one is special#IS IT HOT IN HERE OR IS IT JUST SJBDGSAFSDFKSDSKAFHJ#sorry guys#if i'm not going full nosferatu on his gorgeous neck and back what's the point of anything#i am SO HOT for this man it's ridiculous#i want him to SLAM me into that rock wall and BANG me until neither of us can breathe#AUSEFGSGFHAJSJASK I'M FALLING APART#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe#low quality screencaps of a high quality man
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theories/thoughts/analysis about touchstarved after playing the demo a few times
Under the cut because it got long (I exceeded the post character limit...) Also spoilers btw. PS: All the links are to posts on the official social media accounts or their kickstarter, with the exception of the animated trailer screenshots that I got from here.
(Happy one month since demo dropped!)
Mhin
I'm starting with them because I play favorites.
Mhin's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the crying eye (guilt? pain? blood? Their pupils almost seem to glow red, I wonder if it's connected) and the beak (in a way that reminds me of the skull of a bird rather than a live one).
The red choice connected to them is about asking if they're a scientist: their precision is almost surgical, though when asked if they've studied anatomy or medicine their reply is “Not quite” so it must be something similar enough.
When Vere complains about their first encounter with Mhin, he mentions that their dagger (visible in their in-game art) is an antique. Perhaps they inherited it, maybe from a mentor? It’s a curious choice of weapon for a hunter: stilettos (it’s described as such in the demo) aren’t ineffective in battle (especially if wielded by a physically strong fighter, which they absolutely are), but they are favored by assassins because they’re easy to conceal, they strike precisely and deeply but without letting much blood leak from the needle-thin wound.
As far as design goes, the clasps on their hood looks like a mix between the quaternary celtic knot and the triquetra / trinity knot. Symbolically, the latter is associated to the Triple Goddess (more on this in Leander’s section) or three elements, while the former represents the four elements or the four seasons or the four cardinal directions, and is often used as a symbol of protection.
Their fatal flaw is that they “resist change at all costs”. I'm led to believe that they became a Monster instead of being born one. I think it either happened not that long ago or they lost control over it recently, and that's what spurred them on their search for a cure. Them being described as “outcast” also makes me think that they could have been exiled from wherever they came from, perhaps because the people found out that “a monster hides within their frame”.
When questioning them about Ais, they say “I'm not going to risk my life in the hopes that any of them is different” which shows that they’re distancing themself from their situation (i.e., being/becoming a Monster).
Their hate towards Monsters could be either a projection of the hate they feel towards themself (if they were aware that there was a Monster inside of them before they lost control and hurt someone, for example) or just because one took over them and by extension they hate every Monster because of it. If the “lost control and hurt someone” thing is true I'll also add that they might be working as a Hunter as a way to try and atone. It could also be a way to expel the more violent instincts (I’m assuming they have some) into something productive.
The “they're afraid of being hurt. Or worse” on their relationship chart with Kuras feels to me like they're afraid of hurting him, also because when you ask them how they get along with him during the demo, they say “Few people are willing to help others; fewer when there's any risk involved” and I'm choosing to interpret that they think of themself as the risk. I know I'm really pushing it on this aspect but the “If you stay too close to me, you'll get hurt”+“Find someone safer to ask for help” only fuels me more. Their monstrous form also looks less defined and more liquid compared to the others, maybe because it's not as developed so it doesn't look as solid?
Vere is also said to be often provoking Mhin in order to make them lose control: he's confident in himself enough to think that he'd have the upper hand in a fight with Monster!Mhin, probably because they're a skilled hunter but they don't have that much experience over their monstrous side. Mhin dislikes Vere because he’s “the embodiment of everything [they] hate about Monsters”: while Mhin holds back from their nature and seeks a cure, Vere wants to give in to his instincts without restraints.
In the demo, they get defensive when questioned about the Senobium, but when they say “Whatever you're looking for, the cost may be higher than what you're willing to pay” I think they're speaking from experience.
It's interesting that it's implied that they slept with Leander once. Judging by the comment about the Wet Wick being the “perfect combination for making mistakes”, they're not enthusiastic about it. I’m guessing that they don't like that Leander has seen them with their guard down? Or they
Unless I missed something, it's unknown where in Eridia they're staying. I'll say it's probably in a different direction from the Wet Wick since they make a point of saying that they're only going there to protect Kuras (instead of, for example, “I live nearby anyways so I'll take the same road”).
The flowers in their pin design look similar to cornus kousa, or some other type of dogwood, symbolizing hope, resilience, renewal (I also found: rebirth, new life, strength, regret). After a long and grueling winter, Eridia greets the first dogwood blossoms with relief. These flowers are known to cling tenaciously to life even in the worst conditions, from barren wastelands to ruins perpetually shrouded in Fogfall… Really poetic meaning! I imagine Mhin as the dogwood flower, persisting even after the Tragic Backstory that made them lonely (“barren wastelands”) and their Monster Form (“shrouded in fogfall”)
Leander
Leander's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights only his eyes (they share the color of his magic -> maybe it's how he uses magic that contributes to him being “monstrous”?).
Nothing to note about his red choice except that it is unlocked by generally following his lead (taking the flower when he offers it, touching him without hesitation).
Speaking of his magic, an Alchemist MC notes that it extraordinarily powerful, enough that he doesn't need incantations or spell circles to cast it. Kuras mentioned that Leander prefers the company of those similar to him and that the Bloodhounds are mostly people who've endured the hardships of Lowtown, so I can't help but wonder if Leander was always a natural at magic, or if he did receive training but was later cast out, or maybe he left by choice?
A recurrent symbol in Leander's design is the triangle, as a detail mostly (on his coat, boots, dangling from his belt), but there's also one that looks like the alchemical symbol for earth (🜃) attached to the brooch on his chest; another symbol for earth is, you guessed it, the serpent, whose other meaning is duplicitous nature as well as renewal and rebirth. This connects to the ouroboros (present in his earring as well as in the background of the sticker and charm kickstarter rewards), symbolizing the cycle of death and rebirth and with relevance in alchemy as the “all in one”. The same theme is also present in the symbol of the triple moon (on his belt) symbolizing the stages of birth life and death and more in general three aspects united in one; the white lilies symbolizing renewal, regrowth, rebirth. The green feels fitting too, since it's often used to symbolize health and abundance.
Alongside the little triangle shape, attached to his belt there are a key (which is not the room key he gave MC), the head of which reminds me of two snakes knotted together; there's also a... I have no clue what that glowing red globe-spike is actually. It's the only other red item (along with the gem on the earring sword hilt) on Leander, but in some of the concept art it was green instead, so I think it's at least somewhat connected to his magic or the source of it. The shape of it combined with the red glow reminds me of Eridia’s towers’ architecture but that’s probably a stretch. I also feel like the symbol on the central part of the triple moon belt buckle is relevant: it immediately reminded me of a spell circle, and after doing some digging in sacred geometry, I’ve found that its 6 petal-like shapes (lilies also have 6 petals...) look similar to the hexafoil, “germ of life”, or the central part of the “seed of life”, which is connected to the divine creation of the world in 7 days/phases; a series of interconnected hexafoils make the “flower of life”, the meaning of which is creation (both in general and of the universe itself), and that everything’s interconnected to everything else... I couldn’t help but think of the “As above, so below” tagline in the Bloodhounds' poster; the sentence has so many interpretations in alchemy/esotericism but the gist of it is, “things in the higher realms of existence are just like in the lower/earthly plane” and “what happens in a large scale also happens in a small scale” and “common material things can make pure spiritual things”.
Overall, I'm thinking that all the green-glowing details on his outfit might be arcane foci, to help him cast magic without using incantations. As of right now, I’m willing to bet that Leander's connected to the Allmother (the traveler in the cart prayed to her) and/or the Abbess (the leader of the Senobium, I think): many of the aforementioned symbols also have ties to femininity and/or feminine qualities.
Other big things in his design are the eyebags and scar that goes from the cheek to the arm. I don’t have much to say on those, probably the scar is going to be connected to some important backstory event and the eyebags are a clue to suggest that there’s something troubling behind the bright and positive persona that he presents as.
If we want to take the name literally (I do), we could assume that Leander and his Bloodhounds are not simply a group of mercenaries, but mercenaries with a cause. Hounds are a breed specifically intended to track something specific (or someone specific) by scent. Given the animosity shown by them at the mere mention of the Senobium, it could have something to do with that, but perhaps it's also something more personal to Leander.
Let's get to the biggest red flag of the green-themed man: “Fatal flaw: [REDACTED]” and “Not all Monsters are inhuman”. There's also the fact that Vere doesn't trust his behaviour (I'll get to it in his section but I would generally trust Vere's words to be truthful). It’s also worth noting that in the first scene he makes an appearance in, he’s presented almost as a performer, a subtle-not-so-subtle hint that he can work his audience really skillfully. Overall, he seems too good to be true, and to quote Leander himself in the demo, “Things that seem too good to be true are often just that.” I don't think he's malevolent per se, but I also believe he's a very good liar (or at least, good at keeping his cards close to his pillowy bosom chest) and he can be a lot more ruthless than he lets on.
I already said it in Mhin's section but it's implied that the two of them slept together once, and I can't help but wonder if Leander also tried the whole "let me touch you so I can see what curses you but also you can tie me down if you want wink wink" tactic with them.
I get the feeling that he also slept with Ais? “He sure likes it when others take control”+“He's not so bad once you get to know him”. The bartender didn't joke about the room being used often huh (i’m saying this lighthearted and teasingly, nothing against it lol).
He's obviously staying at the Wet Wick with the rest of the Bloodhounds, and it happens often enough that the bartender/owner is familiar with their habits. I wonder if he also as a house of his own or not.
The flowers (in-game art, animated trailer, pin design, charm and sticker design) are white lilies, symbolizing devotion, sympathy and faith (I also found: renewal/rebirth/reregrowth and purity. Nothing says “I love you” as clearly as white lilies—ironic, since they’re some of the region’s most poisonous flowers. Some mages believe that these lilies contain a mysterious magic, but attempts to harness this power have only resulted in lethal poisonings. A not-so-veiled warning to be careful of what lies behind Leander’s charming facade... And considering that he seems to like when MC defers to him, I could imagine the (metaphorical... unless?) lethal poisoning in a possible bad end!
Kuras
Kuras' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the several eyes (truth and secrets being very important themes in his route, he's also described as “observer”) and his tears (his guilt).
No red choice for Kuras, but there is various flavour text depending on choices. First and most notably, the Unnamed MC notes that something about him feels familiar: this could simply be a hint about him being divine in nature, or it might mean something more, I'm still uncertain. Moreover, depending on dialogue, one of his scenes towards the end of the demo plays out slightly differently, and it shows the more playful side of him (which I absolutely didn’t expect, but I enjoyed that).
As far as appearance goes, his human form and his divine form have many similarities: this post does a very good job of showing them, but additionally I'll say that his halo (silhouette, charm and sticker design) reminds me of the shape of his earrings.
There are a few lines that imply that being in Kuras' vicinity feels physically warmer. It could be just a standard “MC likes him so being near makes them feel all warm and fuzzy” but I think it's more to do with his angelic nature having a comforting effect on people. Something that could be connected to that is the theme of fire (“eldritch flames”, also visible in the charm and sticker design), which symbolically is the element that purifies souls and reveals the truth.
His clinic seems very neat, for someone who works with numerous patients for the whole day. Moreover, his clothes stay unnaturally devoid of any sign of dirt. His appearance is also very curated, so I think that part of it is him being thorough about cleaning and part of it might be a consequence of his magic. Additionally, during the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 49:32), they (jokingly) said that Kuras doesn’t even put his hair up while performing surgeries, which to me also means that he doesn’t need to do it because he’s supernaturally clean and hygienic.
There's no clear mention of him having magic in the first place, but I don't think he could've completely reattached MC's arm so flawlessly any other way.
I wouldn't think much of it if it were any other character but Kuras' birthday being January 1st makes me think that he picked the date on purpose... or randomly, considering it doesn’t seem to be important to him.
During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 41:24), it was noted that Kuras’ name was deliberately chosen, I think implying that it probably has a meaning behind it, though I can’t say what as of now (my search only revealed that kurash is a type of wrestling in Central Asia, and that there’s a deity called Kura in a region of Syria).
I think it's a known fact in Eridia that Kuras is not simply human (“Only the most desperate or the foolish would dare lay a hand on me”), so it's interesting that he chose to not disclose that to the MC. Granted, they've interacted for less than a day now and information is the currency. I also wonder if he’s always been a doctor or if he chose to become one at a certain point... I guess it would depend: is he “repentant” for something he did before settling in Eridia, or after?
Ais also thinks that Kuras used to be more outgoing but the reason he doesn’t really open up a lot to people anymore is because he “must’ve been burned”, which is an interesting insight. I lean more towards thinking that he’s been burned after becoming a resident in Eridia.
There's nothing that strikes me as peculiar regarding his relationships with the other characters,with two exceptions. Kuras' self-inflicted exile is centuries old, and combined with the fact that he (occasionally and begrudgingly?) works with the Senobium, it might be plenty of reason for Vere to hate him. I think that Kuras might've witnessed how he came to be captured (or actively took part in it), and that event is what feeds his mistrust towards Vere. Secondly, it’s said that he “looks forward to Ais helping around his clinic”: does Ais use the Seaspring’s healing powers on some patients (“I help him in the clinic sometimes”)? I wonder if the smokey scent when the MC wakes in Kuras’ clinic was because he’d been there recently.
He lives in one of the more populated areas, probably because 1) more easy for patients to reach him and 2) he likes meeting people.
The flowers in his pin design look like magnolias, symbolizing longevity, grace, divinity (I also found: eternity, perseverance, purity). The elegant magnolia’s therapeutic properties are vital in such a dangerous world. The Senobium cultivates a small magnolia grove, though few make it past the imposing gates to enjoy the rejuvenating blossoms… Of course the medicinal aspect reflects Kuras well. And there’s the connection to him being employed in some form by the Senobium too, the gates could definitely be a metaphor for how he keeps the true extent of his powers at bay
Ais
Ais' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights his tattoo (Ocudeus' tentacles) and his eyes (the Groupmind's effect).
If MC’s been talking defiantly to him throughout the demo, the red choice connected to Ais also consists of rebelling to him, which he clearly enjoys (he’s said to dislike easy fights, so that’s probably it).
An Unnamed MC will note that Ocudeus’s presence/calling in the Seaspring feels familiar, and that his tattoo feels unnatural and it seems to move when they’re not looking... I’ll say that the tattoo isn’t a regular one, and might be the physical manifestation of the metaphorical mark that the bond with Ocudeus left on Ais. This also explains why in the silhouette of his monstrous form the tentacle tattoo is extended beyond what it normally looks like (it reaches his face, and over half of his chest).
The very prominent eye theme (charm and sticker design, Ocudeus possibly meaning “eye god” if it’s latin) and feeling of being watched (+“Got eyes in the back of my head”), plus the fact that the red-eyed woman knew what MC was seeking as well as their name, makes me believe that Ocudeus' area of influence is very extensive. As a consequence of the Groupmind, it's likely that apart from sharing thoughts (and identity?) those connected also share what they see to Ocudeus/Ais.
The notes left on the pillars are interesting. The topmost and middle one I feel are more useful to the player and serve as casual worldbuilding, but the bottommost one is the most curious imo: decoding the scrawling results in “never wish on a shooting star he's always listening”. Initially I thought that the “he” referred to Ocudeus, but it doesn't feel correct (Ocudeus always watches, it doesn't listen).
During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 36:32), Ais was said to be the first character that they created, and the rest of the cast was built around him for cohesiveness. This is interesting to me, as from the demo I thought that “central” role would fit Leander more.
Speaking of Leander, both of them have a like/dislike relationship with each other (Leander because “the assassination attempts are funny, until they’re not” and Ais because he “won’t hesitate to put Leander in his place when the time comes”). Leander seems to be uncomfortable about the effects that the Seaspring has on people, while Ais talks about “a time where Leander's resolve will be tested, same for anyone in this plane or the next”... I wonder how soon that time is going to be 👀. I already noted this in Leander’s section but I think they also slept together at one point or another.
Same topic, different character: Vere. It’s cute that they’re so fond of each other [1, 2], and I’m very curious to know how they met. They probably bonded because of compatible personalities, but I also think that they like each other because they’re both dangerous, and being with someone who is also as dangerous feels... Fitting, safe, maybe?
The fact that he's “not as in control of his powers as he thought” is also interesting to me, since his nonchalance doesn't seem to be because he's lazy but because he's extremely confident. Perhaps he got too sure of himself and lost sight of the risks?
Ais is described as “renegade”, which by definition is someone who betrays a principle/alliance. I have no doubt that this is connected to the reason why he's a “gang leader without the gang members”, and probably to how he came to bond with Ocudeus. Because he's also said to dislike isolation, I lean more towards saying that he didn't willingly let his (former?) members go, my theory is either they left on their own (perhaps they were scared of Ocudeus, or they didn't approve of it) or he accidentally disposed of them (either because he wasn't in control of Ocudeus / the Soulless, or because Ocudeus felt hungry and they were conveniently nearby). Either way, it must have hurt him, since he's not at all willing to talk about it beyond “Gang took a walk”.
I’m very curious about Mhin saying “Monsters like [Ais] don't know or care about what they have”... What does (did?) Ais have? Could it be in reference to him letting his former gang/companions go away in favor of siding with Ocudeus and/or the Seaspring?
He lives at the Seaspring, though I wonder if he sleeps in a pile near those cushions, cuddling the Soulless, or if he has more personal quarters further in. There's a cave entrance visible on the other side of the bloody water, but that feels more for Ocudeus rather than Ais himself.
The flowers in his pin design are spider lilies, symbolizing mourning, goodbyes, lost memories (I also found: death, abandonment, new beginnings). Eerily beautiful, red spider lilies bear the sorrow of loss and farewells. Eridians believe these flowers shepherd lost spirits into the afterlife. The city has seen a sudden increase in these unearthly flowers, leaving many puzzled about their meaning… Very fitting with Ocudeus’ domain of losing memories and thus, beginning a new life! I’m not sure if we should be taking the increase in flowers literally, or just metaphorically as there’s many in the Groupmind
Vere
Vere's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the eyes again (“windows to the soul” and all that), his fangs (him being the most openly aggressive) and the collar and chains (the thing that binds him to the Senobium's will).
I haven’t been able to not get his red choice [edit: “hidden ending”, not a red choice], but from my understanding of what others have said it’s based on how you talk to him and not on your actions. I’d love to say more but since I don’t know exactly influences it, I don’t have much to talk about regarding that🥹
“Not quite human, not quite monster. Seems we’re both--” I wonder if he was about to finish the sentence with ‘cursed’?
He has unique dialogue for each of MC’s backstories: to an Alchemist he says “The misery born of your mistreatment haunts you. I understand what it’s like to be used and thrown away. I’ll give your life new meaning”; to an Unnamed “You poor thing, misled by those you trusted most. You caused so much suffering unknowingly. I know that pain. I can help you forget it all”; to a Hound “The betrayal, the loss of hope, the sheer desperation that drives you still to search and search to no end. I could give you something new to live for”. Apart from showing that he knows stuff he’s not supposed to, I’m more interested about what he says to Alchemist and Hound: he knows the pain of causing suffering unknowingly, and he knows what it’s like to be used and then discarded. His powers seems to be seeing through people, I’d say almost mind-reading (“You can’t hide anything from me.”), but I think soul reading is a more fitting definition. I feel that all of the comments related to MC's backstory have more to do with what they experienced/felt than just objective facts, plus the way he says “All that suffering has made your soul so irresistibile...”, it makes me think that he's reading MC’S present and past emotions through their soul.
The most apparent part of his design is that he’s half showing, half hiding. His outfit makes the harness very visible, yet he hid the leash from the MC for as long as possible, and he didn't let them close enough to touch it. His pants are fully cover one side and show skin on the other. The sheer fabrics look very cool on their own but I like to think they're also part of the "half show, half hide" thing he has going on. An Alchemist MC will note that the collar seems to be enchanted, while other backstories will simply say that the lock seems easy enough to open.
In the charms and stickers design, there's his chain in the background, and it's broken. Metaphorically and literally, “breaking free from the chains” symbolizes putting an end to what holds someone captive, but also finding freedom to be oneself. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I think a freed Vere would also feel free to not hide so much of himself. On that note, I'm extremely curious about what he draws on his sketchbook. Also in the charm and stickers design, as well as in the Nintendo Switch port art, is the key that he stole from the MC. It's curious that they included it instead of a more personal object like his sketchbook (present in the Switch port art but not in the stickers), but it might just be a fun nod to the demo or maybe he'll develop a habit of stealing the key again in the full game, so I don't think I should read too much into that.
Neither Vere or Kuras of them gives too many juicy details about their mutual hate towards each other during the demo, but from the additional info [1, 2] published on Tumblr, I think it might have to do with the fact that both of them have been confined in Eridia for centuries, and perhaps Kuras even contributed to the capture of Vere, too.
He’s defined as a “charlatan”, which by definition means “someone who decieves through false claims”. It fits with him saying “If I were you, I wouldn’t trust a word I say” and “Information is a luxury [...] If you valued my words you'd have taken them seriously”. This feels like a recurring theme for Vere: Ais also says, “Vere is one of the most honest people you'll meet. Just don't listen to a single thing he says”. Despite the very obvious predatory/mischievous nature of Vere, I think that he is very honest about the things he says: it’s about reading between the lines.
His very evident distaste towards Leander might be connected to this, seeing that Leander seems to be hiding a lot.
Vere clearly likes Ais, but as soon as MC asks more, he warns them about how dangerous he and the Seaspring are. I think both are true: Ais being “a good person” doesn’t exclude the fact that he is dangerous.
It could be a stretch, but I wonder if Vere lives/stays in the building that he was chained to?
The flowers in his pin design look like some type of lilies, perhaps wood lily are a type of amaryllis that symbolizes passion, allure, pride ( when researching the wood lilies, I also found: danger, determination). Local legends conflict on the origins of the amaryllis. Whether they sprang from the spilt blood of a scorned lover or were born of an ancient Senobian ritual gone awry, the truth behind these flowers is knowledge long forgotten… or held by a privileged few. Like Kuras, his flower mirrors the connection to the Senobium though it remains vague about how exactly they became involved... In the greek myth, Amaryllis consulted an oracle to win the love of the shepherd Alteo: she walked to his house every day, piercing her heart with a golden arrow, and on the 30th day flowers bloomed from her blood. Alteo became enamoured with the maiden and the flowers that bore her name... I wonder how Touchstarved’s version of the myth is different than ours, and which character Vere is more akin to?
Nothing on Sen or Elyon for now since there's too little info on both, but I'm looking forward to putting them under a microscope too 👀
(bangs pots and pans) please share your theories/thoughts if you read this far? 👉👈
#if anyone wants screenshots re: the in-game dialogue that i refer to lmk and i'll provide#full disclosure i wouldn't have thought of kuras birthday if it weren't for sysba in attollo... oh eldritch beings exiled on earth#i wanted to put the link to the q&a twitch stream but unfortunately there's no vod so you'll have to take my word :( sorry#i also hope that the links to the kickstarter images work since at one point before posting this they all broke... lmk in case and i'll edit#anyways can you tell i'm positively obsessed and i'm this close to counting the days until 2025?#i had fun playing and writing this heehe#touchstarved#touchstarved vn#touchstarved game#ais#ais touchstarved#kuras#kuras touchstarved#leander#leander touchstarved#mhin#mhin touchstarved#vere#vere touchstarved#touchstarved analysis#touchstarved theory#touchstarved spoilers#visual novels#vns#long post#ps: i'm not an expert about any of these but i'm most unsure about the flowers... i tried#edit: corrected an imprecision and added links/timestamps to the q&a vod!#my posts
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I'm actually more bummed out about the news, it feels like the staff is putting too much in their hands while they're full already
When it comes to backtracking in work (they are doing this for good reasons and I am glad they are fixing the lore), you have to understand that moving forward will be hard or best just put to a hold. It's a lot of work to fix so many years of lore and do it careful. I am also certain it may not be a perfect fix first time around but they will get there.
But the new ancient was not necessary at this time...
There will be players (I'm sure) complaining why there is no lore for this dragon, why it's not getting the same treatment as other ancients, how awkward it will be to have them around without any info etc...
I see people on forums are saying that this is the standard update time for a new breed but despite that they were releasing so quickly so soon between each other since undertides onward... it's a lot of work. Sure, maybe it was in process for awhile but these are still not small updates.
With backtracking, a halt of big new updates would be more productive, I think. Smaller updates could have been much better way to handle so much work, like just fixing the genes or adding existing ones to the list of other ancients who don't have them, like they have been doing so far.
What I'm trying to say is that we could have waited for this ancient a little longer. I fear that devs are releasing it as a way to redeem themselves for the mistake, which doesn't really help at the grand looks of it given that this new ancient will be loreless for awhile.
But I don't know how business is lead what happens behind the scene, none of us really do so take what I write here with a grain of salt. This is more of me worrying than critiquing the staff and telling them how to do their job. I hope they are not stressing more than focusing on what they feel is currently necessary to do.
#flight rising#sorry I'm just. full of thoughts on this#given that this is my first time I was more worried about the update than casually happy about it or hyped
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Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.
I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.
I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??
Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.
#ghostbusters#egon spengler#nikolas posts#I have so many thoughts on it because I've just been rewatching the two movies on loop for the past few days.#All we got was Ray saying that he'd started talking about the end of the world (IIRC) and that he went insane and took everything#when he eventually left to deal with it on his own#which for the record it's extremely impressive that he would've stopped Gozer from returning BY HIMSELF. The only reason it hadn't worked#was because of the electricity issue#Hiding all the traps and setting up the proton packs to fire at the hell pit?? Insanity. He's just on a complete different level of existin#Like they were aware of Ivor Shandor and his plans long before??? They found his ISLAND DEDICATED TO GOZER who had full intention of#BRINGING THEM BACK#it's really Really REALLY not this deep but I have thoughts and I wanted to share them. Maybe someone else might have an idea I#couldn't think of or might have something to add.#I guess it could be a 'they beat Gozer once and assumed they were gone' but that wasn't the first time Gozer 'died' so??#if I missed something Please tell me. I haven't watched the newer movies as much as the older ones (I grew up watching them / playing#the game so I'm more familiar with the older lore and haven't had the chance to rewatch the newer ones 1000 times over unfortunately)#so it's entirely possible I missed something#I'd think maybe it was just because they were older but I really don't think thats the case. I have reasoning for it but I need to do#the math to make sure I'm getting the ages right by the time AfterLife happens.#really need to make a chart / timeline of all the events that happened and what year / month / day they happened. That's a project#for tomorrow perhaps.#anyways if anyones reading this sorry for the insane rambling and congrats for making it to the end#also this post isn't negative I adore the newer movies so much. I love them a lot and I genuinely don't really care about this at all#just a thing to think / ponder / speculate about if that makes sense#I enjoy thinking about stupid irrelevant stuff like this#so so so many thoughts
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i haven't been this not okay in over a year and i do not miss it and i do not want it
#good to know i can still spiral this hard and catastrophize as well as i ever did DESPITE EVERY TECHNIQUE I KNOW.#and yoga. and breathing. and cold water and ice. and logic. and distractions. and thought reframing.#teeth aren't a moral judgement EXCEPT THEY FEEL LIKE THEY ARE#I feel like I'm going to ACTUALLY DIE. ACTUALLY DIE#I was JUST the other day so grateful it's been so long since I was mostly dissociated instead of mostly present and now all I want is to be#checked the FUCK out and also not exist so I don't have to go tomorrow#pull yourself together @ me you have objectively already survived much worse#and you have it much better than it could be#and worst case scenarios are still dealable-with even though they don't feel like it#unhelpfully. all my brain wants to do is tell every person i know that i'm freaked out and terrified and full of shame and guilt and dread#and want COMFORT AND ATTENTION#and it's like bitch you wouldn't even accept it if you asked and they DID give it to you. you are so fucked up right now. chill. OUT.#@ all of you I am SO sorry i'm liveblogging my breakdown today. i'm scared to open my journal and spiral more so this is all I've got#I'll be done with this mode by the end of tomorrow I promise#shh katie
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Me: Why is there a weird light in my room?
#it's the god damn moon every time#why do I think about this episode so much?????#I feel like no one else is like yes waking moments is an episode that occupies my mind when it isn't on#Star Trek voyager#waking moments#full moon#inevitably I'm going to have this thought again and if I don't tag it it will be lost forever so sorry bout that#can't wait for fall when I can close my curtains and let the darkness take me
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