#i'm finally doing a self portrait where I'm as mean to myself as i believe nessesary

[bluebellhairpin]

if any of my art is ever going to get chose to being flagged, it's going to be this new divine judgment piece.

[joandraws]

Connie Converse

Maybe you've heard of her, maybe you haven't. I'm writing this for those who haven't.

Connie may well be the first American singer-songwriter, though her name remains relatively obscure. I only stumbled upon her music recently and was instantly captivated by it. My fascination with her artistry drove me to delve deeper into her life and the mystery surrounding her disappearance. This exploration took an emotional toll, as I found myself relating to her on a profound level. Her lyrics already resonated with me, but as I delved into her story and read parts of her final letter titled "To Anyone Who Ever Asks," the line, "Let me go, let me be if I can, let me not be if I can't," moved me to tears. I suddenly felt like her disappearance was such a significant loss to the world.

Then a strange thing happened as I was painting this portrait of her. I glanced at my worn-out, old Intuos4 graphic tablet (yes, it still works), its stickers peeling off, and I couldn't help but cry. In a hypothetical scenario (if I also disappeared) where someone as sensitive as me discovered my possessions, viewed my art, and learned about my life, they might feel the same way about me. In that moment, I gained a newfound appreciation for my art, for what I do, and for who I am.

Being proud of my art has always been a challenge for me. Typically, I create and release my work into the world, allowing it to find its own audience. And I have to admit that a lot of the time I even dislike my art. But lately, I've been working on having the same level of appreciation for my own work as I do for others. I'm sharing this because I know there are many artists, like me, who are excessively self-critical. Yes, I struggle with perfectionism, but even more than that, I used to be so self-critical to the extent that I would stop myself from creating at all.

This year, however, through my personal sketchbook project, I've made a conscious effort to change that. I've been focusing more on savoring the process of simply putting pen to paper.

But enough about me for now; let's shift our attention back to Connie Converse, and I'll just leave this sentence that her brother Philip Converse wrote about her:

"Sis was a genius and a polymath. I do not use the terms lightly. Connie was a poet, a writer of scholarly articles, a cartoonist, a painter, a would-be novelist by her own description, an activist, sculptor, and among other things a songwriter."

She wrote most of her songs between 1950 and 1955 when she was in her late 20s, living in New York City. While they do evoke that period, they are also timeless.

There's another intriguing aspect about her, at least from my perspective. Based on my reading and the accounts of those who knew her, it's my personal belief that she may have been on the asexual spectrum. I don't mean to speculate or offend her family, but this is just my personal opinion. Her music often delved into themes of loneliness and isolation, but it also celebrated her independence and contentment with being on her own. It's evident that she grappled with depression and often felt unheard. If she indeed fell within the asexual spectrum, it's highly plausible that she also carried feelings of being different or "broken," a common experience for asexual individuals, including myself.

There has also been speculation that she might have been a lesbian, though it remains just speculation. Ultimately, we'll never truly know, and her personal life remains her own business. I believe there might be a connection between these aspects. She was undeniably brilliant, and while it might be wishful thinking on my part, the fact that she was never found and her family respected her wishes allows me to imagine that she might still be out there somewhere. I hope she senses how much people cherish her music now and realizes how deeply appreciated she is.

Thank you for reading if you did! If you want to know more about Connie Converse you can listen to Spinning On Air's beautiful podcast episodes about her here, here and here.

[missjoker96]

Hey my lovely clowns! ♡♡♡

This is a short fanfiction about a possible dispute between the female reader and Joker.

It can happen, but don't worry. It's only a fanfiction and they will forgive each other again :)

Enjoy reading!

Female Reader & Joker

Being angry and disappointed at Joker

You were cooking dinner when you heard the news on the radio.

It was always the same. And the police was always out on the streets.

This was Gotham. The city of crimes as people call it and you were tired of news like that. Why couldn't people just be nice to each other? You always asked yourself this question and you wondered where your boyfriend stayed. He should have been already home at this time of hour. You started to worry about him, because you were usually worried in situations like now. Suddenly the voice on the radio described the crime of today.

Three man were shot dead near the subway station and nobody has seen a possible suspect, but the voice on the radio mentioned a clown.

"If a clown did this crime, then he might be still on the loose. We ask for the help of our citizens of Gotham."

You were shocked to hear the word clown on the radio and thought about your boyfriend who just came home. He througt the keys on the table and went into the living room. Of course you wanted to ask him if he was the one who killed those three man, but you needed a moment to think about your words.

After a moment, you decided to go to him and greet him first. He deserved it, because he had probably a hard day at work.

"Hello Joker." You said and your face was serious, your eyes fixed at him and your arms crossed. A disappointing look and the man you loved so much looked at you with his beautiful green eyes.

He smoked a cigarette and noticed your serious face. "Hello, (Y/N). Are you alright?"

Joker asked you seriously if you were alright. This made you angry, but you tried to keep calm and answered him. But first you took a deep breath and then you spoke.

"I am alright, thanks. My next question is.. Where have you been?"

You wanted an answer, because you were standing in the kitchen for almost an hour and you were worried about Joker.

"I had to take care about three idiots. That's my excuse for my delay, (Y/N). I hope you can forgive me." He took a long drag of his cigarette and waited patiently for your answer.

It was so clear that he had to do something with those three guys that have been killed today and you were not only shocked and disappointed. "I don't need to ask, because I know the answer already. You have killed three man today, right?"

Joker looked at you and his face expression changed a lot. It wasn't as friendly anymore like it was painted on. You could see the anger on his face, but you were not afraid of him. But you wanted to hear the crime spoken out from his mouth.

"Yes, I have killed three man today. They deserved it. Nobody should mess with the clown prince." A laugh escaped from his lips. It was his Joker laugh and you couldn't need that now.

"Clown prince, hm? Why have you killed them Joker? I want to know the truth now."

Your heart was racing faster and your voice raised too. Joker looked at you with his beautiful green eyes and suddenly he looked angry. "And why do you care about them? They were rich bastards and pissed me off. I am going to kill everyone who insults the clown prince. Hahahahahaha."

This must have been a true nightmare. Joker just came home, smoked a cigarette and told you that he killed three young men today. The same information like on the radio eaelier. You couldn't recognize him anymore and his behavior wasn't acceptable. Of course you loved him being Joker, but there are also limits. And he went too far this time which made you speechless before you let it out what you wanted to say.

"I don't care about them, but they are humans. You can't kill everyone who insults you. Do you want to be known as the clown prince of crimes or what?"

Okay this was a little hard in words, but you saw him already as a symbol like many people of Gotham and the police was already looking for the possible murderer.

They didn't know that it was Joker, but they thought it was a clown. It wouldn't be the first crime of a clown. And if he continued like this, then they couldn't stay here anymore. Joker had two faces. The one who was shy, innocent and sweet. And the other side was dangerous, confident and protective. You loved both sides, but Joker had to see the consequences if he continued like this.

Right now he didn't see the consequences and got up from his couch. His cigarette was finished and he put it into the small ash tray on the table.

His green eyes were fixed at you and he answered you.

"They were just like the three wall street guys on the subway if you can remember them. I am Joker and if people forget who I am, then I have to show them the clown inside of me. Clown prince of crime, huh? You think I am the bad guy now. Hm?"

Joker looked surprised and disappointed, because he thought that you would be proud of his doings. He ended three lives, but the lives of bad people. They hated freaks like him and clowns too.

You could tell that he was kinda shocked, but you had to tell him what's right and wrong.

"I didn't say that you are the bad guy, but what you did today is bad. The police thinks that a clown killed those three guys. I'm trying to help you Joker."

It was enough for you and you went back into the kitchen to check the dinner. It was getting cold already and your appetit disappeared after you heard about another crime of your beloved boyfriend.

This conversation should have ended now, but Joker had another question for you.

"I had to defend myself with this gun. What if they kicked me like in my horrible past? Did you want that?" And with this sentence was the conversation over, because Joker threw his gun to the ground and left the living room. He walked into the bedroom and shot the door as loud as he could. Neighbours could hear that, but who cared now. You felt terrible now and you thought that it was your fault now, but it wasn't your fault at all.

"Joker, don't.." But he was already in the bedroom and probably cried. You never saw him crying. He always hid his sadness and his sorrows from you, but not because he didn't trust you.. No, it was because his stronger side shouldn't show weakness and tears are a good explaination for weakness.

Maybe you should have let him alone now, but you couldn't let him alone in the bedroom. He needed you. Even Joker needed someone to talk in his bad times like you needed him.

The dinner could wait and you decided to go into the bedroom and talk to him. He threw his gun away and you picked it up from the ground and hid it where he couldn't find it anymore. The crime had to stop, because you wanted a boyfriend who protected you without getting involved in a serious problem and this was something Joker had to learn.

Two knocks on the door and everything was silent. Your heart raced faster and you decided to enter the room.

"Joker?" Your voice was careful as you entered the room and there he was.

Joker didn't lay on the bed. He sat on the bed with the face against the wall and you only saw his red suit from behind and his green hair.

"Better a dead clown, than a sad clown.."

He said and looked around at you with a finger gun against his head. This was not a joke from him. He was serious and his face expression explained it too.

"Why are you saying that? You know that I didn't mean it with my words, but you have to be more careful. I was worried about you darling." A tear rolled down your cheeks and you walked towards him. You placed your arm around his neck and stroked his hand.

He listened to you but kept his eyes fixed to the ground.

"Because it's true, but I feel really bad now. It sounded as if you hate me now. Do you hate me now, (Y/N)?"

Suddenly he looked into your eyes with his sad, but still happy face. And he cried, because his water face paint was smeared and one blue triangle was longer than the other. Wasn't he beautiful like a portrait in a museum? The most beautiful man on earth and he was your boyfriend.

You took a deep breath before you answered him.

"I could never hate you, Joker. I love you so terribly much. You mean the world to me my sexy and handsome clown."

And with those beautiful words you took him into your arms and kissed his painted lips. Joker appreciated your sweet compliment and continued your kiss. You both were happy again and for a moment you both forgot the crime of today, because this was a beautiful moment.

After a while you both broke the kiss and Joker placed his gentle hands on your cheeks. You couldn't resist his sexy smirk, his delicious kisses and those gemstone eyes of him. He was unique in every possible way.

"Thank you, (Y/N). I'm so glad that you don't hate me for my crimes today. I know, I shouldn't have done it." He looked down while he stroked your cheeks and you stroked his hair and then touched his cute red nose.

"It was self defense as you said. Just don't kill everyone for insulting you okay darling? We don't want to have problems with the cops again, right?"

Your words were helpful and Joker smiled again and kissed your lips hungrily. It was a sign that he agreed and finally you both fell on the soft bed sheets and cuddled together.

"I hope that people learn to respect me. Believe me, I don't want to kill people. It's only the clown inside of me. He protects me from bullies and drunkards."

You know that and shook your head.

"I know darling. But I also know that Joker can be gentle too and reasonable. I have already forgiven you, so what about a nice dinner and then a relaxing bath together?"

Joker loved your idea and smirked at you. His smirk made you weak and he always loved that.

"Mmh, sounds very nice for me. But first I have to steal a few more kisses, because I was a naughty clown today."

He pressed his lips against yours and you wanted to answer him with only three words.

"Naughty but sweet.."

You couldn't say more, because he was hungry for your lips. And you were hungry for his lips. This moment was needed after this dispute with your beloved Joker...

#JokerFanfic #ShortStory #Joker2019 #JoaquinPhoenix #Joker #Fanfiction

[acaseforpencils]

The Ink Well Foundation.

The Ink Well Foundation is a non-profit that helps bring smiles to the faces of children facing adversity such as illness, neglect, and abuse. I cannot begin to express how big of an honor it is to have Elizabeth Winter on Case—this interview brought me to tears, and it means a lot to share her message on here, so that you all can help more children in need to be able to connect with this incredible foundation.

Bio: I am the Founder and Executive Director of the Ink Well Foundation. Growing up, I had cancer my entire childhood—it was a rare cancer that kept getting misdiagnosed, which meant a fair amount of biopsies and days in the hospital, and finally major surgery where I was told I might wake up without a leg. I am very fortunate in that the doctors were able to remove all the cancer without amputating, and I have been cancer-free since I was about 20 years old. 

That experience gave me a lot of empathy and compassion for kids facing long, isolating hospital stays. There were also other issues during my childhood: I experienced a lot of abandonment with a mother who just could not play the role of mother, and who eventually died when I was fifteen. In general, I just had a pretty severe lack of affection and emotional support growing up. All that made me very tough, in some ways too tough and it wound up creating only further isolation and pain. 

As an adult, I saw that pain mirrored in other children's eyes and I began to seek out a way to connect with them, to help them and myself learn to nurture and heal together. I strongly feel that genuine human bonding can fuel both physical and emotional healing. I also think getting out into nature and carrying that same respect to all wildlife helps us to become humble and connected in a very powerful way, so we stress those ideas in our work often.

In 2005, I was working in animation in New York City, and I stood up in a meeting at work one day, and asked if any of the other artists would like to come along with me to draw with kids facing illness and hardship. A couple people raised their hands, and we went together to Gilda's Club out in Brooklyn (that club house has since closed, but we still go to the one in Manhattan). The artists who came along in those early years, like Rami Efal and Ray Alma, Pedro Delgado and Sergei Aniskov—those people are all still volunteers today! That says so much to me about the kind of people this work attracts. We've all become like family over the years and I love those guys so much. 

It all began at Gilda's Club, but then I reached out to places like the Ronald McDonald House, St. Mary's Hospital and Bellevue Hospitals, and we slowly but surely became accepted and welcomed at healthcare and at-risk support centers all across New York, because the kids loved what we did, and at then end of every event they were begging us to come back. So we always did! That is the true mark of success for me every time, when the kids are yelling at us to get back there as soon as we can.

A few years ago, I learned about the great organization on the Upper East Side, The Society of Illustrators. Their Executive Director, Anelle Miller, connected me with all these other great artists like Stefano Imbert, Bil Donovan, Abby Merrill, and Elana Amity (who is now our Event Director at Mount Sinai Hospital, where she hosts a monthly live drawing call-in show that beams to all the kids' hospital rooms at once). They draw along with us and call or text in with questions and comments. It's hilarious and adorable. We also connected with the great people of the National Cartoonists Society, and wonderful artists like Ed Steckley, Adrian Sinnott, Howard Beckerman, Tim Savage, Marty Macaluso, Joe Vissichelli and so many more. 

After MTV Animation New York shut down, pretty much all my colleagues and I from great shows like Beavis and Butthead, Daria, The Head, and Celebrity Death Match all moved out west. So I had this great group of talented friends still living there, and based on the Ink Well's popularity in NYC, I thought, let's give it a shot there too! I reached out to my former colleague from Rugrats and Wild Thornberrys, Joseph Scott, and asked if he'd be interested in running things there. He is now heading up all our operations in L.A. and he is just the most phenomenally kind and talented person on earth. With his art skills he could do whatever he wanted but he devotes a huge amount of time to the kids we work with and I'm so moved by his giving spirit and boundless good energy. And Michael Daedalus Kenny is also stepping up in a leadership role as our newest Event Director, we've got amazing artists like Marla Frazee of Boss Baby genius, Monica Tomova from SpongeBob, Jeanette Moreno, king of The Simpsons, Chris Harmon from Futurama, Ashley Simpson from Phineas and Ferb, Christian Lignan of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, graphic novelist, Jeremy Arambulo and so many others so we're in great hands there. I just wish the traffic weren't such a problem! It really is tough to get around that city, unlike NYC where there's a decently functioning subway that goes to all our locations, so getting around is no real trouble comparatively.

Tools of choice:  Our events are usually very handmade by design so that the kids can feel like they could do all of this easily by themselves. So we come up with themes like, “Who is your Superhero?,” and we ask the kids to focus on their strengths and what superpowers they wish they would have, and we draw their portraits as such. We are not art therapists, but we feel these event themes help to make the kids focus on positivity and their potential, and therefore help them to bond and heal. 

We do sometimes get more elaborate, like when we teach stop motion, claymation, and we once even taught them how to build homemade rockets on the roof of Bellevue Hospital! One of our Event Directors at the time, Nathan Schreiber, used to come up with the most fantastic science-focused events. He now runs a company called Science Ninjas, that helps kids learn about science with fun card games. But usually it's simple by design.

We are extremely fortunate to have Blick Arts as a sponsor. Their support enables us to provide each child with their own art kit after each event so that they can keep creating on their own after they learn new skills with us so thanks to them we have a lot of the arts tools we need.

Tool I wish existed: I think we do great working with anything we've got lying around- we emphasize the potential of just about anything to become art: we often create characters out of inanimate objects, make flip books, sculptures and puppets— using everything from card stock to socks to toothpicks and gum drops. We keep it accessible and inventive. 

How can we support The Ink Well Foundation? Because our volunteers are by definition "the artists behind the kids' favorite books, films, comics, and TV shows," we don't solicit volunteers from the general public. We do have an online application on our site, so other professionals that meet our criteria in the illustration, animation, and cartooning industries are welcome to apply there. 

What the general public can do is to help us spread the word so that more children can see that others are going through what they're going through, and also so that they see examples of adults believing in them and encouraging them. We try to promote the idea of art as self-expression and a way to get through trying times, ideally together. Connectivity and encouragement are critical to healing, and honestly, to just building a better world. So we talk about that a lot on our social media and at the events themselves. We also honor the kids' intelligence by talking about art in general there— we highlight classic and new artists and ideas and encourage them to learn from those masters as they develop their own skills.

Because we are a very small 100% volunteer-run organization, we focus on giving the kids the greatest events possible, and sometimes that means we don't have a lot of time for social media, self-promotion, and fund-raising. So spreading the word is huge and we are always extremely grateful for, and in need of, any financial donations. 

Where are Ink Well Foundation events held? We operate in New York City and Los Angeles because that's where the top artists in our fields are concentrated. We go to hospitals and at-risk support centers like Ronald McDonald House, Gilda's Club, Bellevue, St. Mary's, Mount Sinai, Childhelp, Covenant House and more. You can see the full list here. 

How can children who don't live near Ink Well Foundation events benefit from your Pen Pals Program? This is another reason we want people to spread the word. Loved ones of a child experiencing serious illness or hardship, who is physically or geographically unable to attend our events, can apply to have a special artwork sent straight to them. We ask the kids what their favorite animated films, TV shows, or illustrated books are, and then we have an artist who actually worked on that production make something tailored to that child. We then frame it up, and send it off to them by mail. 

We've done this with artists from SpongeBob, Captain Underpants, and just a week ago, we delivered a beautiful drawing of Curious George that our Event Directors, Franz Palomares and Lisa LaBracio (both of whom worked on Curious George) lovingly made. This was for a girl named, Maryanne who lives in Florida. She suffers from a rare disease called, vein of galen malformation that has led to brain damage and vision loss. She is unable to talk or walk or eat through her mouth and she suffers seizures but she understands everything around her, and she can feel texture. So Franz and Lisa made her Curious George playing in a sand box, and they glued real sand into the picture, so that Maryanne could feel that, and enjoy the art on multiple levels. Maryanne's mother, Sandra, said that she was thrilled, and that she loves to hold it. 

Our hearts are full being able to share these works with kids who need that moment of light, and that knowledge that an adult they admire, someone who doesn't even know them well, can care enough about them to take the time to create careful, tailor-made artworks just for them. We hope that helps to bring a smile in the moment, and build self-worth long term.

Misc. I'd like to mention that everything we do is 100% free of charge. No one gets paid, no money ever changes hands for the art. We have brilliant artists like Peter de Séve who is on our board and attends many events, while also creating characters for Ice Age, The Little Prince, and all his New Yorker covers. He could get a mint for his works, but he comes down and does this for free, and that's a testament to the power of that loving connection we all feel when we are just selflessly helping one another.

I feel this most acutely when I'm working with youth who have suffered abuse and neglect. We have an Event Director, Jane Archer, who leads our work at Bellevue Hospital. Many of those kids are there because they have been through unendurable trauma, and Jane connects with them beautifully. She begins with a meditation where we all envision our strengths together, we talk about our talents, and hopes for a brighter day, we imagine embodying those gifts and then we gently, patiently, ask the kids to help us draw characters step by step. Many kids start out very suspicious and resistant, even angry. But by the end of the events they are almost always laughing and teasing us, and they don't want to stop creating. It is my greatest joy to experience that transition and I hope we may continue to spread this support and faith in one another for many years to come.

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