#i'm cis and i can't tell if it's offensive to only refer to a multiple pronoun person by one pronoun
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ok so uhh i hope i don't offend anyone by this because i don't understand and i'm genuinely just curious. sometimes i see nonbinary people say that it's important for people to use both/all pronouns they identify as... so for anyone who uses multiple pronouns, why is this important to you? if you identify for example as he/they, meaning you go by both 'he' and 'they', why does it matter that someone uses both? if someone only says 'they' and always refers to you by 'they', does it just make it seem like they don't respect the fact that you also go by 'he'? if you go by both i'm just a bit confused why someone would care that a particular person isn't also referring to them by their other pronoun. again i'm not trying to come across as accusatory here, i just don't know what it's like so i kind of want to hear outside input on this.
this is probably also just an individual thing too so i respect any and all opinions from multiple pronoun people on this whether they care about this specifically or not
#please i have a friend like this so i just want to better understand the feelings behind it 😫#i'm cis and i can't tell if it's offensive to only refer to a multiple pronoun person by one pronoun#and i don't want to say it's stupid just because i don't get it since we all have different experiences and what not#tee.post
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I hate it here
Why does he get to appropriate people's race and still have so much access??
I thought impersonation was a crime.
I thought stealing someone's identity was a crime. How is he walking around Freely and taking pictures with hot chicks?😒
THAT SHOULD BE ME😭😭😭
If he is profiting off of his looks he needs to be sued by Hybe IMMEDIATELY.
HYBE SHOULD HIRE ME - If they can over look my gossipy nature and the fact they really can't trust me with any company secrets plus I'll spend all my time staring at Jikook and simping for YoonminhopeJoon🙂
Bapsae aaahhhhh 😏😏😏
To answer your question Barbara, you are not the only confused one when it comes to these labels. We all are.
A lot of people use Bi these days instead of Pan because people find the term Pansexuality confusing and offensive so....
Strange times.
Offensive because some people in the Bi community feel it's a redundant term as to them it means the same as Bisexuality. As such they feel the use of Pansexuality is erasure and invalidating of their own identity.
From what I understand of this ongoing label wars in the community, those who get offended by Pansexuality do so mostly because they do not view trans identity as a seperate unique gender in of it's own but merely as an adjective.
To such, there is no thing as cis boy or trans boy and that a boy is a boy. So being Bi to them means they are attracted to boys( cis or trans) and girls (regardless of whether they are cis or trans)- which is what Pansexuality actually is💀
Here in lies the conflict. Cis women and some people, myself included, see trans identity as a seperate gender identity from cis identity and differentiates between a biological Male or female and a trans Male or female.
As such a boy is not a boy, a boy is either cis boy or trans boy and both are valid.
This distinction is what mostly sets bisexuality from pan sexuality from my point of view.
It's disheartening. Not to mention anxiety inducing and confusing as hell when we can't even agree on basic terms to describe ourselves.
I don't know how conscious BTS are of these conversations and so I've always viewed their use of labels such as boy/girl in their lyrics with utmost fascination given as there are trans genders within their community.
I often find myself wondering what Joonie means when he talks of girls- does he mean cis girls or trans girls? Would he date either or both?
Personally, I view Trans identity as a valid, separate unique form of identity, unique from Cis identity and not just as an epithet.
I date and definitely find trans girls romantically and sexually attractive especially if there's minimum trace of their cis masculinity in them.
But I have friends who identify as lesbians but wouldn't date trans girls regardless of how they present. Yet they wouldn't mind dating a stud or Masculine presenting females as long as they are Cis girls. Talk of transphobia💀
Some girls call me Bi because I like cis and other fems and I'm perfectly fine with it. However embracing that label in Male spaces gives me a lot of headaches because they just assume I'd date any man too.
I have dated fem tops (girly girls who like to be the dominant one in relationships and also prefer to penetrate other girls during sex) who identify as lesbians but have threesomes with gay men💀
I mean as long as they get to fuck those men or penetrate/ top them or so they say and yes I've seen it happen with my two eyes- I have gay threesomes don't judge or tell my pastor😥
I'm going to hell as it is no need to compound it🤧
My ex was like that. She dated a gay guy she was topping and was gonna marry him because her family was pressuring her to get married. The dude was closeted and their relationship was convenient until he came out and lowkey outed her in the process.
When I asked her if she was bisexual she said she didn't have a label because none suited her at the time and that she likes girls regardless of how those girls identify as. So a femboi, andro, trans girls, cis girls, straight girls, gay girls, as long as you feminine she likes.
I'm a bit like that too... minus the topping fembois and gays part💀
If I had a dick it would be useless 🤣
I say all this to say, labels are a bit tricky and a lot of people struggle to find the right fit.
Gay or queer is our go to label.
For the sake of the conversation we having, I'd define being Bi as liking your own gender plus the opposite of your gender but in an exclusive way. Being Bi also means the gender of a person matters to you in your determination of what you find attractive.
However being Pan means you place less emphasis on the gender of the person you are attracted to and more emphasis on the qualities those people possess- really doesn't matter what the other person is if you like em you like em. Which means a person don't gotta be cis or trans boy or girl or other for you to like them. They just have to have a certain quality you find attractive.
Just like you said, you being a girl find gurls attractive too but I don't think you'd be willing to date a girl- cis or trans- a person has to be Male for you to date them. Right?
That exclusivity is what makes you straight. You like one gender to the exclusion of others.
Gays and lesbians like one gender, the same gender, to the exclusion of others.
Bisexuals may like multiple genders, different genders, to the exclusion of others.
Pansexuals like multiple genders but not to the exclusion of others.
If Gender is important to you in determining who a suitable romantic partner is you are either Straight or Bi. If gender is not important to your determination of who a suitable partner is then you're pansexual.
Pansexuals are gender blind🤣
If Pansexuals are bisexuals, there should be a label for the category currently viewed as bisexuals.
When Suga says " I look at personality and it's not limited to girls" I believe he's talking about the qualities he finds attractive in PEOPLE.
When he sings boy or girl my tongue technology will send you to hongkong it carries a similar sentiment. He's saying basically it doesn't matter what you identify as he can make you orgasm under his- rap?
That's pan energy to me. You go pan Suga! BAPSAE AAAHHH🤭
IF he were queer then I'd assume he's more likely to be pan not bi- hypocritically speaking.
But he is NOT QUEER.
SOPE YOONMIN AND ANYSHIP INVOLVING SUGA IS NOT REAL or even likely to be.
Since we are both men, how can my heart throb for a man. This implies he believes his heart only has to throb for the opposite sex. Yea no he is definitely not bi.
Straight as an arrow this one.
He doesn't find men sexually or romantically attractive. He is not gay or bi and I don't think he wants to be.
I assume he's straight. I do.
And as a straight dude, he's certainly intriguing and I can see how certain actions of his make people queer read him especially in his dominant ships Sope and Yoonmin and Taegi.
But I don't think he goes out of his way to queer code himself.
And I see what you mean by the exaggerated speech. Rappers do trash talk, boast and talk shit in their music but they are also notoriously homophobic with the exception of a few. References of queerness in their lyrics are usually often used pejoratively to slur other rappers etc.
May be I'm too black, gay, and a woman to overlook the misogyny and homophobia that's traveled through Black American hip pop to elsewhere even if it takes on new family friendly labels such as Kpop or BTS.
I don't tend to read hiphop lyrics through non cis non straight non male lens. Unless of course it's from a queer artist but even that there's almost always something internalized.
It's fascinating how people look at a hip hop artist and glean their sexuality from their lyrics....
I'm dozing off. Will read over this tomorrow and add anything I might have missed.
GOLDY
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