#i'm angry bc buses in this place suck. that's fair and quite “rational”. i hate that i'm angry so i try not to feel angry. i become anxious
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... perhaps wanting to be at any appointment 20 minutes early is partially bc of my anxiety. haha. oh well
#me only 1 minute early to my therapy appointment bc my bus was very late: oh my god i am going to die and my therapist will help kill me#fast forward 45 minutes or so:#“your anger is actually quite based in reality. i like your anger. but you suppress it and it turns into anxiety”#shocked pikachu meme oh. yeah.#i'm angry bc buses in this place suck. that's fair and quite “rational”. i hate that i'm angry so i try not to feel angry. i become anxious#when he said your anger is based in reality and it's healthy meanwhile your anxiety comes up with things that are Not based in reality just#to make you feel like shit about yourself and so you always have something to harshly and unfairly criticize yourself for#........damn.#yeah that's the trauma that makes me scared of being angry x
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