#i'm also supposed to be doing my actual homework but shhhhh

[too-tyred-for-this]

HOT PINK

3D model by TheoDevF1

Autodesk Maya // Redshift

[heartpascal]

I'M EVEN MORE DEVASTED NOW 😭 (i just watched the new mandalorian ep and i'm not gonna say anything anymore) AND THEN YOU POST THAT 😭 I AM SO DEPRESSED AND DEVASTATED 😭

i'm gonna add more to that thought and what if— joel or tommy was awake?

"Look at me, kid. LOOK AT ME!" "Open your eyes, please!" "NO!"

AND MARIA NO! MY MOTHER! 😭 HER BEING IN DENIAL AND TELLING TOMMY TO TELL HER THAT IT'S NOT TRUE! MY HEART 💔🥀 AND WHAT IF LIKE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE DINNER TOGETHER AFTER THE PATROL AND IT JUST GOES— MARIA ASKING WHERE SHE IS AND TOMMY JUST—

"Don't you dare say that." "Tell me it's not true. Tell me it's not fucking true, please!" "...Maria."

I AM DEVASTED! JESSE! 😭😭 (he's probably gonna see her soon but we ain't gonna talk about that) ELLIE AND JOEL 😭 joel and maria just lost another child and i can hear that one song going "i told you once, i can't do this again, do this again, oh." AND THE WHOLE FAMILY JUST AVENGING HER WITH TOMMY GOING FIRST 😭 I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! 😭

songs that makes me devasted about this:

• as the world caves in - matt maltese

(i can absolutely see this as the title name if you ever expand on it and just know it's gonna break my heart 💔)

• hold on - chord overstreet

• you said you'd grow old with me - michael schulte

• fourth of july - sufjan stevens

(am i bringing this back? yes, yes i am. specifically; "the evil, it spread like a fever ahead. it was night when you died, my firefly." and "the hospital asked, 'should the body be cast?' before i say goodbye, my star in the sky.")

• walked through hell - anson seabra

• remember me - coco

• sorrow - sleeping at last

• touch - sleeping at last

• it's quiet uptown - hamilton

(this song is making me fall apart—)

THE LAST OF US PART 2 SPOILERS

i am currently just putting that as like a blanket warning and then gonna do keep reading thingys so hopefully people who don’t wanna see don’t see!! ( THIS WAS BEFORE I WROTE… ALL THIS. )

omg yes shhh i’ve only watched episode 1 of season 3 so far oopsies. i have so little time for mando AGH i wish i had more >:( but i also neglected sm homework last week oops so my own fault really

no because if JOEL was awake? and he watched that happen? i genuinely don’t know what he’d do. there’s two options, one of which we heard of after sarah died, and the other being he goes mad for revenge. (let’s pretend abby didn’t use like. a fucking shotgun on his leg and it was recoverable, shhhhh)

TOMMY. he’d be so torn. i don’t know what he’d do either!!! they would just be so fucking despondent. like what is even the point if r is gone? what are they meant to do now? and if he had to watch? if he watched, and wasn’t able to do anything? can you imagine the pain he’d be in after locking eyes with r, wondering if r would ever forgive him for this? tommy would absolutely blame himself. would blame himself for letting reader on patrols at all, for helping abby, for trusting this group that they didn’t know, for doing nothing when reader needed him to do something, anything, the most

you saw how tommy reacted in part 2 when abby threatened ellie, how he fucking yelled and screamed at ellie to leave. can you imagine how much he would yell and scream at abby to just leave reader alone, to just stop, please, don’t do this to her, she didn’t do anything

can you imagine how tommy would react if he found out why abby did it? how joel would react? how ellie would react?

lets think about this for a minute actually, because ellie would NEVER forgive joel. she wouldn’t. because she already hated him for what he did at the hospital, she was just barely coming to forgive him for it, and now not only did he take that away from her, but his actions also led to reader being killed. joel would never ever forgive himself, but neither would ellie.

hell, if joel went to seattle for revenge, i don’t think he’d be coming back no matter the outcome. it has to be said. what does he have left, anyway?

my dear, sweet maria. she would be so torn after her initial denial, because god does she want to avenge reader, she wants to tear them all apart for what they did to her, but then there’s this baby who needs her. tommy would be long gone, by then, anyway. she couldn’t orphan her child. but what about you?

and the blame she’d have for joel, too, if she found out?

joel would be having the absolute WORST time.

your dialogue for maria’s reaction is so so accurate too, and you can really see tommy just looking at her, saying her name, because there’s nothing else he can say.

and when tommy and maria’s son grows up, and he’s wondering why his dad left, and he doesn’t understand because he can’t remember reader. he doesn’t remember her looking after him, only has the names on the chalkboard that’s still set up on the mantle of the home he shares with his mother only. because maria wouldn’t welcome tommy back after he left. couldn’t. a part of her resents him for not saving r too, although she’d never say it out loud.

i wanna talk about jesse more but this is already long i’m sorry HAHAH so i will move on to my favourite thing. SONGS!!!

as the world caves in — i’m an awful person for immediately thinking about how joel’s world litch rally caved in (via the golf club to r’s head…) OK BUT FOR REAL NOW. i love this song. it hurts so bad. for all of them, the world had already ended. they’re living in post apocalyptic times for gods sake. but this… this is worse. this is their actual world falling apart before their very eyes.

i cant talk about hold on because i think i will actually break down in sobs and cries. but agreed. that song hurts so bad

you said you’d grow old with me — these lyrics hurt particularly bad if you relate them to jesse i think. and ellie actually. “we had plans, we had visions, now i can't see ahead” i’m crying and sobbing. they’d both be so empty. they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. and they’d remember so many things they forgot to tell reader :( “you've got your peace now, but what about me?” SOBBIIIIINGGG. actually look at all of these lyrics because they all fit so well and they ALL hurt.

fourth of july — may i just also add “what could i have said to raise you from the dead?” because it makes me sad. and as you SHOULD bring this one back. it hurts. also the repeated “why do you cry” hurts so bad because not only will all the characters be sobbing but also r didn’t want to die :(

walk through hell — all of you go and look at EVERY single song lyric here. because ouch. like i’m in pain rn listening to this

remember me — “remember me though i have to say goodbye” yelling crying screaming sobbing. and also “remember me each time you hear a sad guitar” joel coded joel coded joel coded. he never got to teach r how to play even though she wanted to learn (shhh) and that would haunt him forever i think. or however long he lived..

sorrow — OUCH. all of this just hurts and then you have this especially joel coded line “slowly, then all at once / a single loose thread / and it all comes undone” sobs he lost everything. also i think this song really fits with how like. lost and unsure everybody would be going forward like “i feel out of focus / or at least indisposed” TBE MORE I LOOK AT THE LYRICS THE MORE I COULD PICK OUT THAT FIT SO WELL. howl you know what you’re doing. i should be mad. i should be.

touch — “all i want is to flip a switch / before something breaks that cannot be fixed” need i say more? no. i needn’t. but i will. “predicting god as best he can / but god i wanna feel again”

it’s quiet uptown — howl im gonna need you to stop using hamilton against me please and thank you. but this song is maria coded. THERE I SAID IT. it’s maria coded! “you hold your child as tight as you can / and push away the unimaginable” her with her son after tommy leaves too. she’s so stuck on the fact that she couldn’t protect r that she worries she won’t be able to protect him either. she can’t lose a third child. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY. “i spend hours in the garden / i walk alone to the store” TO READER’S STORE!!! TO THE POTTERY SHOP!!! imagine the pain maria would feel when all the flowers outside have wilted away, unreplaced, and then she has to throw them away. she’s alone. she’s so alone. i’m in pain. with everybody off avenging r who’s their to mourn her? everybody forgets about your shop soon enough, except for her. she cleans the shop, sends her son to be looked after by someone she trusts, only for a little while. she can’t manage long. AND THEN THE SECOND PART IS TOMMY CODED. “if i could spare [her] life / if i could trade [her] life for mine / [she’d] be standing here right now / and you would smile and that would be enough” …… i’m going into hibernation actually. howl HOW COULD YOU.