#i'm a student currently working full time. i use the limited free time i have to write things to share with you

[monsterhugger]

hey unless an author or artist explicitly asks for requests. don't ask them to draw or write something for you

if you want them to draw or write for you the opener is "do you take commissions" lol (caveat that if they're a writer please ask this on their other socials and not ao3)

[4dkellysworld]

Hi Kelly, I currently am really lost in my "journey" and busy studying, how will I be able to realize Self if I'm always identifying with being a girlfriend, student, daughter and a friend... Ik it looks like I'm complaining and it might be true but life is different to everyone, maybe this isn't for me. Personally, manifestation, AV y ND, was and is a rabbit hole... This past summer I decided to let go of everything and behave "normally" again, always following the hipotetic rule of "do A to get B" and I think it's working fine, life is boring as it was before. However I also really want to know self, experience it and finally understand my true nature, but I guess it will take a bit longer. Thanks for your posts

I used to think like that too until I realized it was all ego (as usual). Ego wants full realization now and gets frustrated when it can't drop its identification. During the times I was in that state of mind, I got nowhere. Sure you can go back to the world but it won't truly fulfill you, we're all looking for Self where it's not - in the world. Eventually, you'll come back to this and then be faced with the same conundrum.

Maybe it works for some but I can only speak with my own experiences. Trying to force myself to think/see 'I am not the body' straight off the bat didn't work no matter how hard I tried. However, being open to that possibility without believing nor disbelieving, and then doing spiritual practice to drop more and more ego eventually allowed me to come to that realization. It took patience. Kindness. Allowing things to just be. Accepting things as they are. Surrender. Faith. It happens when it happens. I stopped caring *when* I would be realized, I stopped looking for signs of progress and results. I stopped comparing myself to other's experiences. I stopped getting frustrated that I "wasn't there yet" and stopped defining and labelling where I was at which allowed me peace in the present moment. I just practiced because the practice itself was freeing me more and more. Then one day I found myself (the ego identity) to be quite changed, just things I could not put into words, things that are only intuitively felt but so completely throughout my whole being. Then I understood what the masters meant when they say not to look at time and that everything will happen on its own accord. The disidentification happens on its own as you let go of ego.

So I'd say perhaps you're going about it the wrong way.

If you don't feel ready to completely detach from ego, that's okay too, no judgment there - many people are not. You can work on letting go of whatever limitations you can without trying to give up the ego entirely. Everything has its own time and place. Let things be. It's not something you can force anyway, everyone comes to that decision of their own volition eventually.

I'd recommend that you stop resisting the fact that you have all these identifications, that does nothing to drop them. Just find the practices that work for you and keep dropping ego. Things will happen on their own. Also I recommend reading this and this (or the whole tag) on why mental purification (dropping ego concepts) is important and necessary. It looks like there's too much expectation in general on being able to drop the entire body and mind identification with a single thought but most people will not be able to do this. If you're unable to wipe the mind completely and drop those thoughts that are attached to the dream itself, then dropping the ego through mental purification is how you make progress. This allows more and more of Self to shine through.

Use the mind to investigate the manifested. Be like the chick that pecks at the shell. Speculating about life outside the shell would have been of little use to it, but pecking at the shell breaks the shell from within and liberates the chick. Similarly, break the mind from within by investigation and exposure of its contradictions and absurdities. - Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That

[melancholy-marionette]

Hi hi! I'm a fan of your yandere games and I just recently found out about your Tumblr account while hunting for fandoms of your games X3 I just finished playing Solipsism Reigns after letting it just sit there somewhere on my laptop for a whole year cuz I got attached to Kuro XD Ik your hands are already full from the amount of visual novels you've been creating so far but would you consider re-creating SR if you can? You don't have to feel obligated to ofc, I'm already impressed with the amount of visual novels you've cooked up XD (I'm quite nervous asking this cuz SR is so underrated and it's rarely talked about these days)

Hey hey! That’s awesome :D Super glad to hear it <3 

Yeeeeah, I mean, I don’t know for sure cos I’ve never looked, but I can’t imagine there's much in the way of fandoms for any of my games since they tend to fly under the radar x3 (my own fault for being incapable of using social media to promote stuff, I know T_T haha)

Since my following is mainly concentrated on itch I guess maybe that doesn’t help since other devs tend to post stuff in places like this and interact with people more. Heck, one of my supporters was even kind enough to make me a Discord server, which is incredible! But even with that, I struggle to use it regularly cos I can’t cope with live conversations very well >.< My social processing power is extremely limited T_T

The most frustrating thing is that I would like to be more active with social stuff, I just can’t handle it very well thanks to my ASD :( It only takes a little bit of social media for me to become completely overwhelmed and have to force myself to come off it so I don’t shut down, haha. It sucks.

Anyways, I’m rambling, sorry x3

That’s so cool you played SR :D my original baby, haha. It looks so old now T_T Every time I see it on my itch dashboard I end up thinking of all the things I would change now I have more experience as a dev! It makes me a happy bunny to hear that you got attached to Kuro though ^-^

Funnily enough... I had already planned to remake SR at some point :D 

As much as the project will always have a special place in my heart with it being my first-ever VN, there are many things about it that bother me too, haha. 

My hope is to eventually remake it from scratch (I kinda have no choice in that anyhow since I no longer have the old Tyranobuilder project files x3) in Naninovel :3 Cos I know Tyrano was kinda clunky >.< In Nani, I could make it all work more smoothly + add more in the way of visual FX and stuff too.

On top of that though, I plan to go over all of my writing because there’s sooooo much I’m not happy with (mainly glaring at the student route >.>) + with any luck add an entirely new route as well that I cut from the original release due to a lack of time to write it properly when I found out Kuro’s VA was going to be moving to another country and putting voice acting on hold, haha. 

There was also a BxG version in the works that’s currently on hold but features redesigned sprites by LazyPolarBear + CGs for a male protagonist x fem Kuro.

I’m not sure what I want to do about the music in the project because I feel like I chose the tracks well to fit the game, BUT, I’ve heard those same tracks in soooo many other people’s games now that I kind of hate that I used so much from Incompetch, haha. Kevin’s music is incredible, but since it’s very generously free to use, it does mean it’s kind of overused in games >.< I didn’t have any other option at the time cos I couldn’t make my own music and I didn’t have any money to buy asset packs.

Now that I tend to create my own OSTs, it would seem kind of insane not to make one for SR in the process of a proper remake. It’s just it would require me to make a lot of tracks x3 I’ll probably give it a go though + maybe keep a handful of Kevin’s ones that I really like too much to let go of, haha.

So yeah, my hope is to eventually remake the original otome version of SR in a different engine with edited + new writing, some new art, new UI, new FX, possibly an OST, and I guess new VA to go with the new writing :D 

I don’t really know when because I need to finish CiQ, DD, and Blue Blythe’s route in Bitter/Sweet before I tackle any more long-term projects x3 So it won’t be any time soon. Once I’ve managed to finish all of those though, I’ll probably make it my next long-term priority project :3

I’m genuinely flattered that you actually liked SR enough to even ask this! It always amazes me when anyone leaves a positive word about SR because I assumed that it had kinda just been lost to the sands of time at this point xD I know it’s definitely showing its age, haha. It’s nice to know there are still people out there who are willing to give it a chance if they happen to come across it somehow ^-^

I feel like my games are probably rarely talked about in general, haha. I mean, since I’m a fan of yandere games and play them myself, I do lurk in some communities + sometimes look at recs threads other people post to get ideas for things to add to my own playlist, and it’s not often that I see any of my games mentioned on recs or being discussed x3

I always kinda hope it’s cos people don’t know they exist rather than it being a case of them thinking they’re not worthy of mentioning xD Either way isn’t exactly great though I guess, haha. 

I just can’t promote stuff for the life of me cos I find it too overwhelming & exhausting + I don’t really have the self-confidence to try and put my games in front of people anyways cos I always feel like what I make isn’t good enough >.< I’m basically 100% reliant on other people sharing my games for anyone to even discover them x3 Either that or searching the yandere tag on itch, but even then, they might be kinda hard to locate cos they’re not super near the top since I don’t get as many people rating my games as other devs do. SR is my oldest game and it doesn’t even have 100 ratings yet on itch xD

If you search the yandere tag on itch and sort by ‘top rated’ 14 Days With You is first with a whopping 1238 total ratings as of searching right now while I type this… my first game to appear is Darling Duality as the 13th result with a mere 427 ratings by comparison, haha. And I’m pretty sure DD only got rated that much because of Manly’s video x3 Bitter/Sweet is next with only 228 total ratings by comparison.

I know people can just click on my itch profile if they happen to find and like 1 of my games and maybe want to see if I’ve made others, but a lot of people don’t realise you can do that, or they don’t know that I primarily make games with yanderes in x3 So they just go unnoticed.

Heck, Dawn of the Damned is related to Darling Duality, and even though DD is my most popular project, I can’t seem to get people to check out Dawn of the Damned, haha. At this point, the tiny demo for DD has 44.7k downloads (this still blows my mind o.o), and yet despite Dawn of the Damned being a completed project and set in the same universe featuring future DD characters, it only has 4036 total downloads as of today x3 If I can’t get the majority of my own followers to check out a game I made that’s set in the same universe, I have no hope of getting them to find my other yandere stuff T_T and even less hope of getting my games in front of people who have never heard of me as a dev, haha.

I’ve even had a handful of people tell me that they think Apartment No.9 is my best game, and that Doyle is their favourite ever yandere guy, but the project only has 3680 downloads x3

But yeah, my analytics on itch are really skewed cos pretty much all the numbers are for Darling Duality and my Yandere Heaven fandub. I may have somehow managed to get a fair few followers on there over the years, but I think probably something like 90% of them (possibly even more than that) are waiting for DD and aren’t interested in my other projects.

My poor Yandere Heaven fandub has received some attention (in fact, it’s actually beating DD on total downloads somehow), but there has been a lot of negativity + a looooot of 1* and 2* bad ratings on itch because, for some reason, people don’t realise it’s a fandub even though I put that very clearly on the page T_T So they rate the game badly with comments saying the story sucks, or that having no choices is stupid, the characters are dumb, or that it’s too goofy and OTT. None of which is even my fault since I’m trying to faithfully recreate the original content. All I wanted to do was make a Japanese drama CD into a VN fandub game >.< haha. 

I can’t believe I’ve rambled so much anyhow xD I’m so sorry, haha. It’s just one of those things that causes me a lot of confusion x3 I know I can’t handle social media very well and I fail at promo, but I can’t understand why a majority of my projects receive so few views/downloads in comparison to DD >.< I can’t for the life of me figure out what’s so appealing about DD and not my other stuff, haha. Unless it’s literally just cos Manly played it x3

Before I go though, I just wanna say a big thank you for playing my stuff :3 It really means a lot! I hope you get to have a super duper year ahead <3

[mysmestranscripts]

Hello and welcome to MysMesTranscripts!

The Ultimate Master List can be found here!

What is this?

This is a blog where I will be compiling and posting full transcripts related to Mystic Messenger, including but not limited to chat rooms, phone calls, text messages, and emails. I may also reblog various Mystic Messenger content, including translations.

Images from the game (Including CGs, title screens, and seasonal images) will be posted with image descriptions. I will do my best but since I myself don't use alt text, feel free to DM me or send an ask with tips/advice on how to improve them.

This is not a guide or walk through. Earned and broken hearts may be listed next to answer choices, but that does not automatically mean it is the "right" answer. Hearts can get you closer to a Bad Story Ending as much as a Good Ending. Emails will have the correct choice marked.

This blog is completely unofficial and is run by a fan. I couldn't find any full transcripts, just guides, so the idea wouldn't leave me alone. Everything is currently IN PROGRESS.

So who are you?

You can call me Luc, they/them. I am a very tired graduate student from the U.S. who definitely doesn't have enough free time for this. But hey, Seven makes fire-breathing robots, Jaehee watches musicals, Yoosung plays LOLOL, and I... commit to transcribing the entirety of an otome game that's almost seven years old. Listen--the hyperfixation demands tribute. My main blog is @pastelsapphy. Right now it's mostly Mystic Messenger but that can change at the drop of a hat depending on what I'm hyperfocusing on.

What do you mean by "[X] box"?

I note when special textboxes are used during chats. I try to keep the "description" as brief as possible so each post doesn't get too crazy. While most are self-explanatory ("cloud text box") others may not be as obvious ("droopy text box"). If you're unsure of what I mean, you can look at examples of each here.

What order are you posting in?

Honestly? Whatever I feel like. Route chats I'll probably do as I play them, emails and calls may come more randomly, as well as DLC content. You can probably expect Another Story content first since I unlocked it not long ago and I've been replaying both routes over and over lol.

Non-participant versions of chats are likely to come out faster than those MC participates in. I want to mark which choices give which hearts, if any, which gives me a smaller window of time to work on them.

Bro, your typos

I'm transcribing things exactly as written. This means there will be some typos, odd sentence structure, incorrect your/you're and the like, etc. that is sometimes found in the game. Blame the game not me. If you find a legitimate typo, let me know and I'll check it out.

Why is Zen orange?

Tell tumblr to add grey text.

[astriiformes]

Hi! I’m a different person asking about applying for herbarium jobs. I actually followed you a little bit ago specifically because I saw you post about working in one, I just hadn’t gotten the courage up to ask about it.

I’m in college now, with plans to go into plant research, and I’m probably going to graduate with a good amount of lab experience. I recently realized though that herbarium work might also be a good fit for me. I’m not quite sure what to ask here, but is there anything that would make that transition difficult? Or anything I should know or focus on before I graduate? I saw you said you had more of a science background so maybe you know what I’m getting at here

Thanks!

So, full disclosure, my herbarium position was a work-study job last year (I have had a.... winding and tenuous path through college and am currently going back to school at 26 to attempt to finish my Bachelor's by doing a weird syncretic individualized degree instead of a standard biology one) and I do not have experience with applying for similar positions as a graduate or more standard professional candidate, which can obviously be quite different for some jobs.

That said, I don't know how long you have left in school, but looking to see if your own university offers any similar options OR if there's a local herbarium or museum where you could volunteer in your (limited, I imagine) free time would probably serve to make you a good candidate for herbarium work. Even working or volunteering in non-herbarium collections may help -- I know one thing that came up as a positive in my interviews was that I already had a lot of collections experience on my resume, even though it was all in zoology and paleontology collections. Any collections job will get you acquainted with basic curatorial duties and procedures, and may even familiarize you with specific methods of data entry or other skills you can namedrop on your resume. Even if it's volunteer work (all of mine was -- my herbarium position was my first ever paid collections job) it's a great thing to be able to show you have experience in.

As far as particular difficulties go... nothing particularly glaring is coming to mind. Working or volunteering in a collections job as a student before you graduate would also probably help you figure out if it's the right field for you, which is always another bonus. If you've largely got lab experience I'm sure you're very familiar with the tedium of data entry even when you're doing cool research (although there is the occasional entertaining error message, haha) and a lot of collections work is pretty data entry-heavy, though with the immense bonus that you are entering data about some pretty fascinating things and may find yourself crying over the human experience while handling lichen specimens that were collected in the mid-19th century (I speak from experience).

Best of luck with whatever route you go down, and I'd love to be able to consider you a collections comrade. Folks who make the jump from research science to museums are sometimes particularly great advocates for the importance of specimen collections, considering how useful they can be to researchers and having the background to explain how collections are used for contemporary science and not simply kept around as relics of the past, which may be an angle for you to consider if you dip your toes into the field.

(And don't be shy if you ever have other questions! I love talking about this stuff.)

[kallibb]

Implementing Good Study Habits: Studying While Limiting Technology Use

97% of teens use the internet daily, and 46% admit they are constantly online. As technology continues to develop and evolve, it has an increasingly large presence in our lives. But that may not always be a good thing, particularly in the education sector.

As phone addiction continues to affect young people, the impact that technology - particularly cell phones - has on student learning is beginning to show. Different studies have shown that phones distract students even when not in use. In fact, this 2017 study suggested that smartphones impact our work significantly simply by being left next to us on our desk, and this distraction is proportional to how physically close the phone is to us.

Result of "desk", "pocket", and "other room" proximity effect on participants' work.

Additionally, studies have shown that "surprises" can and do interrupt brain cognition, making it harder to recall and retain information. Checking social media, texts, or other phone notifications falls under this category of "surprises".

With all of this information pointing large red arrows to the theory that phones are bad for students and studying, it's no surprise teachers are working to ban cell phones in classrooms. Unfortunately, I myself admit that my use of technology is non-zero when I am studying. As we are currently learning in my college psychology course that studying while limiting technology use is an effective studying method, I wanted to find out for myself whether or not I study better without using my phone. I also wanted to see how easy it would be for me to do this and to suggest any tips or tricks I might have from undergoing this experiment.

The Experiment:

I studied for my economics midterm in two 30-minute periods: one with free phone access and one without. For one of these 30-minute periods, I filmed an unbroken time lapse of my studying with my phone to make sure I didn't have access to it.

The Hypothesis: Studying while restricting phone usage will help me study better.

The Goals: The goal here is to find out whether or not I study better without my phone. I will rank on a scale of 1-5 the truth of the following statements:

My distractions were reduced while studying without my phone.

I was able to retain more information while studying without my phone.

I was able to engage deeper with my study material without my phone.

Studying without my phone helped me reflect upon the material better.

Ready...Set...Study!

Shown above is the full, unbroken 30-minute time lapse of my phone-free studying.

The Results

Let's begin discussing my findings, starting with ranking the aforementioned statements.

My distractions were reduced while studying without my phone. 5

I was able to retain more information while studying without my phone. 4

I was able to engage deeper with my study material without my phone. 4

Studying without my phone helped me reflect upon the material better. 3

I definitely, definitely noticed a huge increase in the quality of studying that I got done without my phone. I felt much more efficient with my time, and knowing that I finished a big chunk of phone-free studying also made me feel good. Restricting my phone usage also led to me gaining a deeper understanding of the material I was reviewing. Topics that I might've glanced over or absentmindedly jotted notes for suddenly made sense to me, and I didn't feel so frustrated or lost when studying for this midterm.

With the phone-free studying session, I found I covered just over one chapter of material. With the phone-allowed session, I covered less than half of one chapter. Additionally, I could confidently tell you what material I covered during the phone-free session, but I'm not even sure what I covered during the phone-allowed session, and I just finished it. That alone probably speaks for the difference in quality of the two study sessions.

Challenges

I can confidently say that I reached for my phone several times during this study session. I have a bad habit of playing video essays in the background while studying, which splits my attention and introduces endless distractions. This bad habit definitely stuck its nose out during the phone-allowed study session. Since I completed the phone-free study session before the phone-allowed study session, I tried to go back to phone-free studying after completing my two periods of studying, and found it incredibly hard to. Knowing that my phone was right next to me was just too tempting.

Practical Tips

Studying without technology sounds great in theory, but how feasible is it?

For me, I found that having my phone next to me just made it way too tempting to go on it. Plus, you probably are physically attached to your cell phone at almost all times of the day. Below are some tips that might make it more feasible to study without technology:

Ask a friend to take temporary custody of your phone.

Make friendly bets with study buddies about who can stay off their phone the longest. Winner gets a free coffee!

Take time-lapses of yourself studying to make sure your phone is occupied with something else.

Set aside chunks of designated tech-free studying time in your calendar.

Consider printing out study materials to decrease your reliance on technology while studying.

Stay analog: invest in a physical planner to keep things tech-free!

Conclusion

With social media and technology ever-present in our lives these days, it's incredibly difficult to do anything technology-free, especially studying. However, I feel as though making this conscious technology-free effort is worth it for the quality of studying you get in return.

In the future, I will definitely make efforts to study without using my phone. Unfortunately, I am a bit worried about keeping myself accountable. To do so, I will try to film more time-lapses of myself studying, as I found that was a good way to assure that I didn't use my phone for social media or texting.

Disclaimer: I used ChatGPT to assist me with this project. I had the basis of this project formulated in my head and requested ChatGPT to add some more talking points in order to develop this post more. I then researched the talking points ChatGPT offered to make sure they were accurate and factual.

[itspeachyp0p]

⥼♡⥽ I only write for fem bodied! reader with smut. For angst, fluff or general hcs I write gen. neutral reader. I do not write for amab! male! etc

⥼♡⥽ I'm about to be a part time student so I don't go by a specific schedule, and a schedule would burn me out quickly or make it feel like I have zero time for other hobbies. I post at random, whenever I get a chance & depending on my mood

⥼♡⥽ I said it in my BYF follow but please ask before translating my works

⥼♡⥽ I reserve the right to deny any request. I do not have to write every one, I do not have to write it if it breaks my rules, causes me discomfort, or is something on my limits list

⥼♡⥽ Requests: currently open. If you ever want to know if requests are open or closed I'll update it on my pinned, here and will temporarily take away the ask button

⥼♡⥽ I reply at my own pace, requests may take time since I want to make sure what I put out is enjoyable

⥼♡⥽ What I wont write is: Incest, pseudo-cest, scat, free use, watersports, mommy kink, race play, vomit, vore, feet, ageplay, electroplay, knifeplay(I can write mentions of use for cutting rope), gunplay, g!ngbangs

⥼♡⥽ If you have already have sent a request please do not spam my inbox with the same one

⥼♡⥽ When describing reader they'll always be shorter than the characters I'm describing unless you request tall reader. I will try my best to avoid making reader a set anything to make my works enjoyable for a wider audiance

⥼♡⥽ SInce I'm multifandom I write for: Attack on Titan, My Hero Academia, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, for DC I'll really only write Bruce, Dick, or Jason. I will not write underage characters, only the confirmed adults. If they are canonly adults or canonly age like Haikyuu I will write it. I do write for female characters as well, so don't be afraid to ask for them either

⥼♡⥽ In additon to full fics I write drabbles, imagines ,and headcanons

⥼♡⥽ My personal tag is ❥justpeachy

[thedebtdiaries]

Debt Diary 1: A debt of my own doing

Debt: $12,612

Personal Loan 1: $5,381 Personal Loan 2: $5,273 Chase Credit Card: $1,551 American Express Credit Card: $406

I have $12,612 in debt. This is a combination of personal loans and credit cards. I've decided to omit my student loans because they are federal loans that I pay $0 each month, thanks, in part, to the SAVE Plan. (With that said, I would pay $0 each month on all other income-based repayment plans as well.) If, for whatever reason, my income exceeds the threshold which would require me to pay more than $0, I will then include those amounts into my debt. For now, in order to stay somewhat sane, I will continue to leave those amounts out of the equation. 

I was required to pay rent up front for the entire year, for better or for worse. The plus of this is that the rent is paid to the landlord. There is and will be a roof over my head. The drawback of this is that in order to pay the rent up front I had to take out two personal loans ⏤ one to cover my own rent and the other to cover the rent of another tenant. This makes the debt of the personal loans less daunting because I know that the amount of one loan will be paid to me by the other tenant by the end of our lease. However, the debt is still daunting because most of it is mine. Was this a stupid decision? Probably. However, as an American living in the UK, my options were limited by laws and regulations and the rental market is tough and fast. 

My goal is to be debt free by January 2025. That's one year. I'm not sure how possible that will be. My lease will end in September 2024 and I anticipate I'll pay more when I move. I may get a raise, but no more than a few percent. I'm not banking on hitting the jackpot or a big raise, only on my own will in my current circumstances. 

There are expenses coming up, some that aren't good choices but ones I'm making anyway. I'm taking a trip to the US next month, which I estimate will cost roughly $1,000. (This is bad. Maybe not bad but certainly not good. I acknowledge this. This is the last big hurrah! before I get down to business. Of course, by making this choice I'm making the business a bigger issue.) 

I'm choosing to still save. Dave Ramsey says you should and it's worked for other people. (I'm all for some of Ramsey's philosophies but not for all of them.) I'm starting by saving small: doing the '52 Week Savings Challenge', automating spare change from my accounts each week and round-ups from each purchase. All of that is currently going towards an emergency fund of $1,000. The rest will go towards the debt. 

I watched a YouTube video where the creator compared credit card debt to a very short-term loan. I both have and haven't thought of credit cards like this. I've been good at repaying my credit cards in full each month until last month. It was then I realised I wouldn't be able to pay the amount of both cards this month and that I would need to buckle down. And that while I was at it, I wanted to pay off the personal loans in full as soon as possible. 

I reread Meghan Daum's essay 'My Misspent Youth' often. It hits because it's both relatable and foreign. Most of Daum's debt came from student loans, medical expenses she was forced to put on a credit card and unpaid taxes incurred as a freelancer. Daum, in 1999, was without healthcare and worked as a freelance writer, but she also chose to live in her own apartment in Manhattan and to ignore the debt she could. I relate to the choices she made because I am young and live in a big expensive city. I went to an expensive university and put those expenses on student loans. I continue to say yes to friends for dinner and drinks. I buy my lunch at work each day and the occasional coffee. I go on trips without the funds saved in an account but with reliance on credit cards. 

The debt I'm in is a debt of my own doing. I didn't befall an illness, nor was I forced to take time off work to care for a loved one. I didn't rack up this debt by doing what I should have been doing but by doing what I chose to do, freely and openly.

I don't believe credit cards and loans are evil. Credit cards have benefits. They help to build and maintain credit, have perks such as mileage plans and cash back and can act as a lifeline for those in a true emergency. Loans have benefits, too. They allow for people to attain a post-secondary education, offer people the opportunity buy a home and help people to diversify their assets. Right now, for me, credit cards and loans are both evil and not evil. My relationship with them is, at times, fraught and tense and, at other times, enjoyable and fun. 

[the-consortium]

Fabius turns round, leans against the lab desk and removes his latex gloves with a quick movement and a snapping sound, dropping them onto the tiled surface and crossing his arms. The Chirurgeon imitates this gesture by fanning itself out into its resting position around his shoulders.

The Chief Apothecary fixes his sharp gaze on Promethia, the corners of his mouth lifting for a heartbeat before he is completely himself again. Then he sighs, looks up at the ceiling with its crumbling stucco decorations and bundles of cables snaking like intestines.

"You didn't imply it and yet you're right - I'm keeping far too much of the past! I should give up this archaic hope. Hope as a concept is a mystical notion that science has no use for. And yet it sits far too deep in our bones." He raises his eyebrows. "You and your older sister are the best proof of that. That I believe a future is possible in every version of reality."

A weary sigh. "And that's why I collect what seems worth keeping. Not to preserve it. And not just to use it as a spare parts store - even if I do own large quantities of such bodies. You shouldn't throw away anything that can still serve a purpose. And especially in the current arms race with Cawl and his soulless research - really, he hasn't learnt anything except technical subtleties - it's important to fall back on good groundwork. And that's what I'm doing by improving Astartes. And in the areas where they need it. Yes, also in the brain. But limiting their cognitive abilities to their tasks can't be the way to go. Even Lucius, who is really only highly gifted in one area, has enough range to be tactically skilful from time to time. You can't breed that away!"

He shakes his head. "I worked on further channelling talent, but nothing came of it that I then pursued further. I gave the result to a petty warlord who was far too convinced of himself. He now thinks I like him and I have another sucker who owes me. Oh well."

Fabius sighs. "To summarise: Improving Astartes without taking away their flexibility. That is the supreme discipline in weapon construction. You are welcome to help yourself to my supplies to impress me with your work in this area."

He turns back to his work. As he reaches for his gloves, he says over his shoulder: "And as for the Luna Wolves … Well, in a way, you already know them. I even have a student who used to wear their colours. And then their new colour. And then the next colour. By now, he seems to have given up on following the constant changes and is slowly letting his armour take on their Ceramite hue."

A short, narrow, almost melancholy smile. "The Luna Wolves were the first legion we really worked with after Fulgrim was found. There were only a handful of us left, so it took us a while to break free and grow enough to form an expeditionary fleet ourselves. I don't think Horus ever stopped seeing Fulgrim as the little brother. At least until Terra. And, well, the last few minutes probably don't count anymore."

Fabius brushes a thin strand of hair behind his ear in an absent-minded movement. "Ah, yes. That's the most important fact, of course. The Luna Wolves were the Sons of Horus before Horus took himself too seriously. Tragic that they have now fallen victim to Abaddon's ego. But that seems to be a key trait of the Sixteenth - ursurping and personality worship."

He turns his full attention back to his current experiment. "You're welcome to talk to Skalagrim about it. Perhaps he has a picture of his legion for you that has more shades of grey than I can offer. The past makes me a little prone to shortcuts in that regard."

Promethia wheels a cryo pod by Bile. "Thoughts on converting a Space Marine into a combat servitor?" She asked, tapping the ice slick container.

With a pointed movement, Fabius puts a pipette to one side and pushes the small test tube stand away from him towards the centre of the table. Notes, pens and datapads become a bow wave of disorder.

He turns round, looks at Promethia's project without any recognisable emotion. Sighs, smiles. Sometimes he can slip into the old man's guise without much effort, no matter how fresh his current body is. It's more of a habit, acquired over centuries. You are never safe from yourself!

Then he looks briefly as if he would like a pair of glasses to adjust them on his nose. But since he hasn't, he contents himself with clearing his throat. His face doesn't really give anything away, just the icy discipline he has placed over everything that is going on inside him.

"Ah, of course. You have the same interests I had when I was your age. You follow thoughts in a very similar way, so it's only logical. But do you really want to know? It spoils your surprise when I tell you what I did and what came of it."

His gaze flickers for a split second to one of the dark corners of the lab, where flotsam and jetsam from equipment that hasn't been used for a long time has collected. To something that is a mixture of cage and operating table. Baroque brass and cold surgical steel.

"Generally speaking, the question is in this case whether what is feasible is what is necessary. Of course it's important to try things out, otherwise you won't make any progress. But as long as the brain of an astartes is more powerful than any cogitor, it is not expedient to eliminate this advantage in favour of simple controllability. Astartes are too complex and expensive to produce. You have a weapon that is optimised for its task, that has a pre-set specialisation due to the gene seed variants - to reduce this with a conscious decision to an automaton that no longer has the flexibility that provides the maximum advantage in unpredictable situations, well, that's not always a good idea."

He makes a prompting gesture. "But I can certainly see the fascination of the mind game. And some of my brothers have also lost a lot of their flexibility due to their degeneration in terms of their devotion to the monsters of the warp. Sometimes a Servitor would be the better choice."

[tj-shmt]

A Day of Curation

Unless its Wednesday, it should be around 11am right now when i get up. First things first, put in my headphones and go get some good music! Its Monday - time to listen to my Discover Weekly playlist, which Spotify usually tailors perfectly to my tastes.

1. 🎶 SPOTIFY 🎶

Fun fact - this weeks "Discover Weekly" suggs. Usually I get the best music from there. I don't really recall the last time any of my friends really showed a song I didn't already know or was adequately good. Tho, I have to give Amelie some credit here, she constanly hits me with great Spanish tunes. (Also to Jasi and Safae which hit me up with some dope music from time to time) I mostly get inspiration from (sad to say but its true) tik tok or by randomly shazaming the world. I also really hate to limit myslfe to music i understand. On the contrary I LOVE LOVE LOVE music arround the world. Trust me i hear Tibetian Throat Singing to Russian Electro and even Islandic and Nativ American Tribal Music. To give you an impression of how important music consumption is for me:

Last Year i spent a total of 210 441 minutes on spotify alone. That is about 9 Hours a day. The average person uses Spotify for about 18 000 minutes a year. (My friend took the freedom to calculate how much money Spotify "looses" by my consumption. i pay $30 a year an Spotify gives $0,004891 per stream to the creator. An average of 3 minutes per song (70.000 streams) means spotify pays $342.37 to the creators. Thats $312.37 of deficit LOL)

Apart form that i cant really give Spotify a certain schedule when i listen to it cuz i listen to it all the time. During gaming, during coding, laundry, gym, work, class, before sleep. ✨Always✨

2. 💬 WhatsApp 💬

There is nothing better than sleeping for an eternity while everyone is already awake for probably 4 or more hours, working! *laughs in privileged design student* Since everyone is already living its live while I still drool, I gotta get up to date in the morning. Before i even leave bed, i checke my messages there. Similar to Spotify, I use WhatsApp the whole day and can't really tell when I would not use it. Except, my phone is always on silent (casual zennial phone call phobia) meaning i wont notice anything while zoning out or gaming (which usualy is the same).

3. 👨‍🏫 TEAMS 👩‍🏫

Yeah Yeah i can already hear it. "You wake up 5 minutes before class withouth breakfast or anything..." - bla bla bla. Yeah that is the case! I would usuly go on teams and enter the classroom, while preparing a breakfast (if you can call it breakfast after 12) sit down at my desk and listen to class. Causally everything that is too theoretical with music and whatsapp. Other classes that are interesting I`ll put my full attention to it.

But i hate teams in gerneral. Not cuz its sh**, no, usualy people that do their clases there have a weird way of using it. Finding material or looking up homeworks is such a struggle sometimes. (Props to you Kevin here, I have never seen anybody using teams in such a clean and struktured way than you do. Even tho you dont neccesarily use it as it was meant to be. (which might be the turning point on why its great))

4. 📺 YouTube 📺

Yup YouTube is usually the place to go after (sometimes during (I NEVER SAID THAT!)) class.

Actually, YouTube is the place to go for me. Relaxation, Entertainment, knowledge - anything! After class I'd usually watch "Cut" or other channels that produce let's plays or entertainment of some sort.

But it's also THE place to go during coding. I rather listen to Lofi or (Slowed, Reverbed) Music that doesnt really distract me. ALSO, during coding watch A SH*TLOAD OF TUTORIALS, cuz I am proud selftaught Zennial. #BestOfBothWorlds

5. 👨‍🍳 CHEFKOCH 👨‍🍳

I love to try new things and I constantly stalk the web for new recipes. Lately a lot of Asian and Vegan stuff. Chefkoch is the app to go where i also write down my own recipes to have them with me all the time. Great thing here is, i share this account with all my family members (currently 13, including my mom, aunts, other relatives). Great way to share the secret family recipes at any time!

(Cant recommend the recipe in the img, tho!)

6.🏐 ADDIDAS TRAINING🏐

Unlike all my sporty friends that used to hit the gym before covid and not got lazy, I started to use Training Apps like Addidas Training with its free Workout plans. I use it regularly and am happy i finally found a way to stay sporty.

7. ⌨️ VS CODE ⌨️

Its either Visual Studio Code, where I would code on my current project, or gaming. As mentioned above, I would get most of the inspiration from tutorials or using dev tools on different platforms.

8. 🎤 DISCORD 🎮

I´ll use Discord as a general term for Gaming since I play a lot but many different games, tho, always use discord to communicate with my freinds while gaming.

A great place to share random BS with friends and talk about anything that comes to my mind. I spent most of the evenings on Discord with my friends. Always did, in fact. Maybe the reason why I don't really feel so affected by the pandemic. I am used to being separated from my friends since they live all over Germany or the world in general. I always enjoy Online Live Events WITH my friends.

For me the web as always been a "with" not an "alone", which is why I never understand why so may struggle with feeling "alone" on live events online. JUST GRAB A FRIEND AND DISCOVER IT ✨TOGETHER✨!

9. 📼 DISNEY+ / NETFLIX 📼

Since I use both the same amount there is not thos or that. I never Really let anybody recommend me anything, cuz ... trust me, I WON'T watch it. IDK why that is, but I need a specific mood for each show. And nobody but myself can provide that. Probably why most ove the algorithms (esp Netflix) do not have an effect on me. I'm not in the mood for your ****, sorry!

Never the less, i periodically Binge a Series and then feel empty after it ended. Then i need some time to face reality again.

Funny tho, I binged Starwars Rebels on Disney+ and after it ended i just decide to buy 4 books on amazon that expand the story to starwars (#nerd i know). I will spend the next few months reading and probably not watching anything on both Streaming services.

10. 🤤 TIKTOK 🌈

... YUP.... I grew up with vine ... but TikTok got me. And honestly I don't regret it. It's the perfect algorithm that constantly finds the best videos that feed my thirsty queer ass. I mean ...

LOOK AT THE IMG ABOVE. YES, give me more....!

Its prolly not good for my digital wellbeing or my mental health but do I care at the moment..? noooooo...

Just give me more of Starwars Parodies, Sleepwalkers, Best off's of streamers, Queer content (cuz its time this heteronormativity world is fed with it! and no i do not indentify as anyting, im just the + at the very far end!) and yeah, even some sexy content if the creator feels good about it.

AND DONT YOU GIVE ME THAT SIDE EYE OF JUDGEMENT HERE - WE ALL THIRST FROM TIME TO TIME!

TOODLES!

[cancerbiophd]

Hey, I am rotating in a cancer bio lab, this will be my third one. The first two worked around my class schedule very well, but for the first semester, these classes are everything. In my third rotation, my PI expects a lot of me in the short time I'm there, and I am working 6-10 hours there every day. This leaves me almost no time to study or do classwork. She knows how much work these classes are, because she used to teach it. Any advice to help me have less stress?

Hello Anon! Ahh I totally understand your frustration. I remember how demanding and absolutely time-consuming (and very important, as you mentioned!) those grad school classes were, and how stressful it was to balance all that and lab work. 

It took me a while to answer this because it really is a difficult problem to tackle. A PI demanding a lot from the rotating student at the expense of the students’ grades in class should not be the norm. Most PIs understand that a rotating student isn’t there primarily to generate mountains of usable data; their priority is to get a feel for how they fit with the lab, and vice versa. So I guess what I’m trying to say: you’re doing amazing, and your PI shouldn’t be treating you this way. 

But I think I’ve thought of a few things you could try (which does not encompass every route you could take), and you can see which one you’re most comfortable doing, or if they give you any other ideas to try. 

The first question you’ll need to ask yourself is whether there’s a chance you’ll want to select this lab as your dissertation lab. I think this is a very important decision, because if you do want to stay, you’ll have to consider options that are more long-term. In other words, staying in this lab may require more energy on your part in finding a schedule that works for both your grades, your research, and your life outside of the lab if your PI appears to have less emphasis on work-class-life-balance. 

If you know you won’t be continuing on in this lab after your rotation is done, you only have to work with a short-term solution. By no means do I mean slack off or not do your research or make a bad impression, of course--but it’ll be more like a sprint than a marathon. 

Once you’ve decided that, here are some options to consider:

Work with your PI to set goals together. Sometimes PIs are super far-removed from classes (even if they teach them) because time makes us all forget the finer details, like how much work it actually takes to study for an exam! And some may just not understand that just because they have photographic memory and never needed to study, doesn’t mean everyone else is like them. Therefore it’s important to communicate with your PI about your limitations and boundaries. If your PI tells you do X, Y, and Z by Friday, counter back with: “Due to my course-load, I may not be able to complete all those tasks by the deadline. If that’s the case, which of those 3 should I prioritize my time on?” and/or “I can get X and Y done by Friday, but I will need until next Wednesday to finish Z.” I think these are very professional ways to reach a compromise. 

Ask for more help from other lab members. Seeing how we can’t freeze time or clone ourselves, sometimes the only way to get more done in a limited amount of time is to get more bodies on the task. When I’m new to a group, I will ask the PI/my boss “If I need help with these tasks, who should I go to?” A lab is a team with a common goal, so I hope yours will see that to help one person is to help everyone. Going off of the first example, you can respond, “Sure, I can get X, Y, and Z done by Friday, but I will need help. Is there anyone in the lab who can help me with ____?” (And if the answer is “no”, that’s something to consider when deciding which lab to ultimately join.)

Say no to any new tasks until you’ve finished your current ones. In lab you can say something like, “I would like to first finish these experiments before moving on. Can we table this until next week?” or “Ok I’ll put this on my to-do list, but I don’t have time for it this week.” or simply a “I don’t have the time to do this.” This also applies to stuff outside of lab as well, like any extra-curriculars or social events. I also think this is a good skill/habit to have throughout one’s life too, but especially in grad school where PIs are just constantly sprouting out new project ideas without any consideration as to how to pause time so we can do it all.

Ask for extensions for lab tasks when you need it. It’s ok to ask for a few more days. Time in academic research can work differently--milestones tend to move a lot slower, and a difference of a few days hardly makes a huge impact down the line. So unless it’s a hard deadline (like data for a grant submission), it’s ok to let your PI know “Hey, I’m working as hard as I can on this, but I did not anticipate some of the set-backs so I’ll need until ____ to get the data to you.” 

Multitask (but smartly). Do you have small but recurring “downtime” during your experiments that you can use for studying? When I ran Western blots, I would have five 5-min washes throughout the day, and that was 25 min of time I sometimes spent reading for class, or even doing small tasks like catching up on emails. Definitely use those natural “breaks” in lab to your advantage if you’re able. 

Block off more time before and after classes to spend away from the lab. Since you have to leave for class anyway, you can try to squeeze more out of it. Maybe like, leave lab 30 min earlier for class, then come back to the lab 30 min later--that’s 1 full hour! If people in lab (ie. your PI) pry, just tell them you like to give yourself the opportunity to meet with the professors before/after class if necessary (not a lie, because it could be true!). Or you can set up a legit mini-study-session with classmates during those times to review materials before/after class. If 30 min is too long, even 15 min before and after is a good chunk of time. 

Ask for advice from someone who’s had experience with situations like these. This includes other grad students (the ones already in this current lab would be a good place to start, as they’ve surely been-there-done-that) and your program advisor/coordinator who’s had years of experience mediating these conflicts. It may not stop your PI from being demanding, but they could give you pointers on how best to handle it. 

And with the time you do have to study, be sure to be as efficient as possible. I know you’re already doing the best you can, but if there are any aspects of your study routine you think could be improved upon, now’s a good time to implement those changes. There are many ways to do this, including study groups, seeking additional resources like educational videos and help from professors/TAs, etc. Work smart, not hard, right?

My last bit of advice is: Make your grades in those classes your priority over the lab rotation. Some, if not all, programs have very strict rules on grades lower than B’s, and it could jeopardize your chances of remaining in the program. Here’s another way to look at it: you can choose to not stay in your current rotational lab, and perhaps even have minimal contact with that PI for the rest of your grad school career; but you can not choose to not have a grade affect your academic records and/or place in the program. 

Good luck anon. I hope this helped a bit and it all goes well for you!

If anyone else has ever experienced something similar in grad school and have any additional advice, please feel free to help reply to/reblog this post! Thanks!

[grand-shitral-station]

HB 233 does not require students and staff to report their beliefs to the government or state.

(Sort of long) TL;DR.

HB 233 does not make it legal for anyone to demand anyone report their political beliefs to anyone. Political beliefs are protected under the 1st Amendment and a school/organization can't violate your 1st Amendment rights. The bill is worded in a way that's kind of difficult to understand, but it doesn't say that anyone will be required to report any of their beliefs to anyone.

It's now law that colleges (In Florida) have to survey students and staff to find out if the school's environment is intellectually free and full of diverse viewpoints. This does not say ask everyone what their views are. It says ask everyone if this school's environment allows everyone's views, not just the popular views, to be voiced and allows people to think and speak freely rather than being told what they can and can't think or say.

CS/CS/HB 233: Postsecondary Education PDF. (The bill itself on the Florida Senate's official website.) v

The Florida Senate's page for House Bill 233 on the official website. v

In this bill "exposure" and "encouragement" means what it actually says, to expose students and staff to ideas regardless of whether those ideas fit their personal views and encourage them to explore them.

This does not require students and staff to agree with and/or believe anything. This also does not protect anyone who attempts to force someone into agreeing with or believing anything. That would violate your rights and if that happens go to their superiors and raise hell. It is not legal for anyone to threaten you (with a lower grade or job loss for example) into believing in and/or agreeing with an idea, opinion, etc. All they can do is teach you about it and basically say "Here's (insert idea or whatever here), here's what it is, and I encourage you to look into and form your own opinions about it.". This also protect's staff from being forced to believe and/or agree with anything. They can not punish you for not agreeing and this bill does not allow anyone to do so.

HB 233 also does not require students and staff to report their political beliefs to anyone. That would violate the Right To Privacy which is protected under The First Amendment.

https://constitution.laws.com/right-to-privacy

What HB 233 DOES do is:

1. Require that schools and school staff cannot shield students and staff from from views and speech they might not or do not agree with or like. Basically they can't omit facts, ideas, views, etc. that they don't like or agree with, or that students may not like or agree with. They have to teach about all of it. If a teacher doesn't like the fact that a historic figure owned slaves but still has to teach about them as part of the curriculum they cannot leave that out, lie about it, or tell you not to research it. They cannot tell you what to believe regarding anything. They also cannot leave out the word "slaves" if they don't like that word or feel it may offend some students and/or teachers. This applies to everything in the curriculum.

2. Require schools to conduct a survey assessing intellectual freedom and viewpoint diversity at the school.

This means it's now law that colleges have to survey students and staff to find out if the school's environment is intellectually free and full of diverse viewpoints. This does not say ask everyone what their views are. It says ask everyone if this school's environment allows everyone's views, not just the popular views, to be voiced and allows people to think and speak freely rather than being told what they can and can't think or say.

This survey is what I see a lot of people freaking out over and I don't blame them. The way this is worded is somewhat hard to understand on the first read, even for me and I used to study law for fun. (Not in law school or anything similar, take what I say with a pinch of salt. I could be wrong but this is as I understand it.) Combine that with concerns about privacy that's rapidly being snatched from us day by day, fears of the government taking more control over our lives, which is very much valid, that would freak anyone out. I freaked out until I read the bill myself, and I had to read it a few times to understand it. I'll break down the parts that mainly have everyone's concern right now the best that I can.

"The State Board of Education shall require each Florida College System institution to conduct an annual assessment of the intellectual freedom and viewpoint diversity at that institution."

This is just requiring that the State Board of Education requires an assessment that sees how intellectually free and how diverse viewpoints are in each college. In this case, colleges in Florida.

"The State Board of Education shall select or create an objective, nonpartisan, and statistically valid survey to be used by each institution which considers the extent to which competing ideas and perspectives are presented and members of the college community, including students, faculty, and staff, feel free to express their beliefs and viewpoints on campus and in the classroom."

The State Board of Education will either select a survey made by someone else or create one themselves.

The requirements for the survey are:

1. The survey must be objective. The survey must be realistic.

2. The survey must be nonpartisan. The survey cannot lean towards any political side/party/view. The survey must be free of political affiliation and unbiased.

3. The survey must be statistically valid.

4. The survey must ask to what extent competing ideas and perspectives are presented to students and staff.

5. The survey must ask students and staff if they feel safe/free to express/voice their beliefs and viewpoints on campus and in the classroom.

"The State Board of Education shall annually compile and publish the assessments by September 1 of each year, beginning on September 1, 2022."

The State Board of Education will keep and publish the assessments by September 1st every year, (and as stated on page 1. the Board of Governors will also be looking at these results.) I interpreted this in three ways, there could be more. I believe it's up to the SBOE how they want to gather and publish the results. I'm unsure of which is going to be how this actually plays out or if any of them are how it will happen at all. I'm assuming the Board of Governors will just look at the results but they could be the ones tallying them up as well. Maybe both the SBOE and the BOG will be tallying and publishing the results.

1. This means the questions and answers will go to the SBOE and/or BOG electronically or via paper, and the SBOE and/or the BOG will publish the questions and answers, possibly not anonymously, by September 1st every year.

2. This means the survey results are tallied up by the school and probably turned into a percentage, (like % of how free students and staff feel to speak their minds) then sent to the SBOE and/or BOG and the SBOE and/or BOG will publish the results by September 1st every year. Probably more likely as that's less work and generally how survey results are displayed rather than putting out everyone's answers for everyone to see.

3. This means the surveys themselves are sent to the SBOE and/or BOG and the SBOE and/or BOG will tally up and publish the results as percentages by September 1st every year. This is probably about as likely as 2. since it's also less work and how survey results are generally displayed rather than putting out everyone's answers for everyone to see.

I guess it will depend on who trusts and/or assigns who to do the tallying. It could be these, it could be none of these, we currently don't know. This actually starts in 2022.

"The State Board of Education may adopt rules to implement this paragraph."

The State Board of Education can make rules on how to implement this in colleges in the state.

This bill does not require you to participate and does not require schools to make the survey mandatory. However, it also doesn't say that you won't have to participate, nor does it say that schools cannot make the survey mandatory. As far as I know, the survey can be mandatory if it does not ask for information that's protected under the law like political beliefs and that's because they cannot violate your right to privacy.

Basically, schools have to have the survey but this bill itself cannot force anyone to take it. From what I understand, that's either up to the Florida Department of Education or the schools themselves, maybe the Board of Governors.

About the survey itself? According to a spokesperson for The Florida Department of Education, it won't be asking you for your political opinions and the survey will be voluntary.

https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2021/jun/25/viral-image/new-florida-law-requires-public-universities-surve/

If the survey does end up questioning you about your political beliefs, you do not have to answer and they cannot physically make you. This bill can not and does not give anyone the right to demand your political, religious, etc. beliefs from you.

If you do somehow end up forced into taking a survey that demands your political, religious, etc. opinions, views, beliefs, it's ok to lie or just not answer at all. Answer blatantly off the wall shit or just don't answer. Get up and walk out, exit the page, etc. It ain't any of their damn business.

If you have to answer before submitting it just fill out answers that don't make any sense.

Ex: If it asks who you support for president, answer Daphy Duck, your favorite character, Clef's hat, DickButt, [insert name here]'s left nut, flower petals, basically anything. Hell, answer a McDonald's order in Irken, Wookie, or any fictional language you know. Answer in Gallifreyan. (Imagine a bunch of circles getting sent to the government or educational board lmao.)

Click through the whole test and submit it blank! Turn in an empty Scantron/paper. If there's a minimum time limit, sleep or draw.

If you want to, write an entire essay on why you're not answering the questions and why you believe no one has the right to demand your beliefs/views/opinions from you. Write or type it anywhere you can, even if that's directly written over the questions if they let you/tell you to answer by writing on the packet/in the book, etc. Ask for scratch paper or write it on your answer paper otherwise.

If your school tries to make you take it via threatening punishments of any kind, and/or saying that this bill gives them the right to demand your opinions from you, (they are lying, it does not) blatantly ask them if they are trying to violate your right to privacy. Schools, work places, etc. CANNOT violate your rights and neither can this bill, nor does it.

Sometimes schools act like they have more power than they really do but that's just it. They're acting, and might even try to manipulate you into doing things/giving up info they have zero right to. Learn how to defend yourself, and what they are and are not legally capable of. Especially in these situations should they ever happen to you. I don't have a lot of good resources save for what I've posted here may be able to help? The internet however has tons. Seek them out, ask someone you trust, ask someone you agree with, ask someone you disagree with. Gather as much knowledge that you can and form your own opinions.

I can't promise there won't be repercussions of some kind if something like what we were all (and all things considered, to an extent still might be) afraid of ends up happening and you fight it, but you can fight it. They still have to obey the laws of the land and we deserve our privacy.

Do we have anything to worry about?

With the bill itself? As far as I know, no. The bill itself seems to be an attempt to make colleges a safer space for free speech and for ideas to be taught without being censored by staff or students. That's a good thing. Even if we disagree with something we need to be able to hear everything about it without anything being omitted or censored and allowed to challenge our own ideas ourselves with every bit of information from both sides of an argument rather than being told what to think or given a manipulated view that aims to sway our opinions and beliefs. Our opinions and beliefs should ALWAYS be OUR choice. Not someone else's and from what I understand this bill is all about that. If there's anything to worry about it would be a school, or anyone really, trying to lie about it and act like it gives them more power than they actually have.

There is however this:

The fact that HB 233 was inspired by surveys that do ask for political opinions raises an eyebrow. However, both of those surveys are anonymous and voluntary, and this bill doesn't ask for or demand political opinions, leanings, etc. to be included in the surveys, nor does the SBOE that's making/choosing the survey. It just asks if the environment is safe to speak freely in. So they just took the good parts as inspiration.

Honestly, I think we're fine.

[paipayaseeds]

When Shuichi came back, he'd be met with a sullen faced Kaede sweeping the room. Where the broom had came from? Unknown. The girl perked up upon the Detective's return, hand here her heart would be seeing the sensor hadn't gone off, meaning the mastermind hadn't attacked just yet.

"So no mastermind activity yet huh?"

------------------

The girl would sigh upon Rantaro's suddenly leaving, heart aching in guilt from the forehead kiss she just received. As much as she wanted to believe Rantaro..

She somehow knew that he wasn't going to the restroom. Especially not at a time like this.. Then again what would she know about his bathroom -

Off topic.

The time to act was now. She needed to get to him before he gets to the library.. So she can end this..

So she can protect Rantaro just as he did for her. No more crying.

No more hiding.

It needed to be done.

She'd silently tear out the note from her notebook, leaving behind however her notebook and pen on the pool table before taking advantage of Tenko and Kaito's arguing. She scurries over to the door and slides out of it carefully before making a dash to where Rantaro went.

Unbeknownst to her however,

Keebo had been looking in confusion.

"That's odd. Ms. Anya forgot to bring her writing utensils." He'd announce suddenly.

--------------

Anya had caught up with Rantaro in secret, though she was nearly almost too late.

The door to the library was almost within Rantaro's reach had he kept walking.. But she couldn't allow that. She's doing this for his own good the violinist chanted mentally, closing in on him from behind with a brick before closing her eyes, jumping and striking the back of his head with all the strength she could muster—a good amount it turned out to be.

With shaky hands and teary eyes she quickly wiped, the girl would apply the note*into his hands,closing the fingers around the paper and kissing it softly.

'Im sorry Rantaro.. I hope.. You can..-'

No.

'You can feel bad later.' Rantaro's gadgets in hand and memorizing his plan, the girl walked through the library door. She quickly grabs a pre-placed wooden pole she acquired from the warehouse from behind a bookshelf, sticking it through the door handles. This should prevent the mastermind or anyone from barging in. Her legs took her towards the secret door, just about to get to work before jumping at a sudden bright light.

'Huh?What the.. A camera?'

With an annoyed pout, the girl would use her free hand to try and disable the flash.

-----------

*what the note says

Rantaro, if you're reading this, it means uhm.. I knocked you out.. Sorry. This sounds stupid but, the day that bear gave that motive was the day I started having these.. These visions of your dying,

In the library. Crazy right?

I overhead you talking about your plan when you thought I was asleep on the last day.. I'm sorry. But, I'm not. If this means I can protect you then.. I won't regret it! I won't be scared this time! I'm gonna stop this and then.. And then we can go home.

So I ask you this last time,

To trust me.

To big bro Taro,

From your lil sis,

Anya Hoshiyama

p. S. I will consider letting you ruffle my hair after we get out of this 🙄

----------

It's about to fucking happen I hate it I hate it-

Kaito looked at the spot where Anya had been seated earlier, eyes widening by barely an inch as K1B0 had been right. "Oh, well, I'm sure she'll come back and get it." Tenko jerked her head towards him, an almost offended look in her eye, "Of course a degenerate male would be that inconsiderate of a woman's needs!" Tenko, without another thought, grabbed Anya's leftover things and made her way to the door, huffing as Kaito followed like a lost puppy behind her path. "W- wait, I can give it to her!"

Tenko, ignoring him, slid open the door and walked through, only to halt in her step as a distressed detective, and a panicked pianist nearly crashed into them and caused them to tumble back like dominoes.

--

As soon as Shuichi found Kaede... sweeping? Um, anyways- He shook his head in slight relief, and strangely, disappointment. “No... N- not yet—” Shuichi yelped, entire body jumping and tensing up as the receiver he held in his hand, started going off. After juggling the receiver—and almost dropping the damn thing—he caught it, and looked at Kaede with an alarmed expression, “The alarm! It went off! We have to go- Kaede, hurry!” With his voice booming in assertively and urgently, he sprinted out of the classroom.

Leaving Kaede behind without another thought, he called out for her to hurry, before hurrying down the stairs himself, for the second time. Shuichi had gone into a full-on sprint, nearly barrelling into Kaito and Tenko who had been standing there in confusion, yet also determination—and pride, for whatever reason.

"Oh hey, Shuichi! We were just about to go find Anya to give her, her supplies!" Shuichi shook his head, seemingly out of breath from sprinting down a single flight of stairs. "I- N- no! There's a chance t- the mastermind is in the library right now!"

Brushing past them, he immediately started rushing towards the library doors, only to jerk back and skid to a halt as he saw Rantaro's unconscious body, lying stiffly in front of the library doors. Kaito turned to see why Shuichi had made such an icky noise with his shoes, only to gasp and take a step back himself. "W- what the hell!?"

Tenko let out a blood-curdling scream, "Oh my god, he's dead!" Shuichi gulped down his own nervousness, inhaling a breath as he tried to remain level-headed(as if he was level-headed before smh). Unsure of whether to leave Rantaro there or to catch the mastermind, he inhaled once again and made a split-second decision; something he would never do if it hadn't been a life-threatening situation. "Kaede- just- all of you! Get into the library through the other doors, I'll- I'll check on Rantaro!"

With his voice commanding and strong, he signalled to the doors; sure, it probably would've been better if the only detective within the 17 students witnessed the scene himself, he wasn't thinking properly and there was only so much time before the mastermind escaped.

After the fast tapping of everyone busting into the library, he wasted no time approaching the green-haired male with shaky, but stable steps. Shuichi crouched down to put his hand in front of his mouth to check for breathing, sighing as he felt air exit from Rantaro's mouth.

Shaking the male awake, Shuichi felt a heavyweight lift off his shoulders as Rantaro groaned; another sign that he was alive, something the detective didn't know he needed.

"Wh-" Rantaro creaked his eyes open, only to shoot up as everything seemed to hit him at once, just like that brick. His plan! Feeling around for his pockets for the survivor perk, he felt a panic rise up in him, as well as a throbbing pain at the back of his head. Did the mastermind find out his plan? Had he just been a victim of attempted murder? What about the time limit? Why weren't they all dead? How long had he passed out for?

"No, no, no, no-! Shuichi! T- the time limit! What happened!?" Rantaro whipped his still aching head towards the worried detective, holding onto the wall for support as he got up with the help of the door handles of the library he hadn't even set foot in.

Shuichi panicked, "D- don't you need to sit down-?" Rantaro ignored him, pulling against the doors frantically in a surge of adrenaline-evoked panic. "Why is it locked!?" Rantaro huffed, suddenly feeling a shortage of breath as his arms went limp on the doors. A wave of frustration and exhaustion washed over him, as well as a feeling of failure.

Furrowing his brow at the frantic, yet currently heavyhearted and tired man, Shuichi found himself questioning Rantaro's panic-induced actions. "Why do you need to get into the library...? Do... Do you know about the secre-"

Tenko's blood-curdling scream interrupted Shuichi's suspicion.

"A- ANYA!?"

Rantaro darted his head back up to the sound of Anya's name, coming from inside the library. Moving to run, he found a wave of new pain hit him, and he had to hold onto Shuichi for help. "I- H- her name, she- We need to get into the library now!" Rantaro cut off his near panic attack, instead, settling for using Shuichi as a cane as he practically 'ran' to the other door of the library.

Bursting open into the doors, they somehow lumped in with Gonta, Korekiyo, Himiko and Angie who had come running to the sound of the scream.

[qqueenofhades]

Hi there. I've been scrolling through your "school stuff" tag but thought I'd ask directly - how did you find the transition to actually moving outside of the U.S. for your PhD? I'm looking at something similar and I'm wondering about your experience with the logistics (finding somewhere to live, visa, etc!). Thanks in advance, and congrats on being a doctor!

Oh lord. Why would you do that to yourself? I feel like that tag is mostly just intense kvetching, bogglingly obscure nitpicking complaints, and existential despair, and/or yelling at various institutions and/or people who could not do their god damn jobs. If you have read that and still actually want my advice, I salute you. I’m presuming you’re asking in regard to the UK, since it’s the only experience I can speak on, so hopefully that’s applicable?

In my case, I studied in the UK for a year as an undergraduate, at Oxford, so I was already familiar with the process (at least somewhat) when it came time to do it again for the PhD. Upfront, we must acknowledge the ugly deformed rabid elephant in the room that is Brexit, and the idiotic reform of UK immigration policy currently ongoing. Long story short, they seem to think they can function without low-skilled migration, that the domestic UK workforce will just happily lark off to do the jobs that working-class EU migrants have been doing, that this won’t totally bomb-crater the NHS, that they can run a country by basically only allowing in PhDs in STEM making over £30,000 a year, etc… so yes, this is a complete joke of an immigration policy and it’s what happens when you elect floppy haired xenophobic douchewads and their nightmare party as prime minister! ANYWAY, they’re introducing a points-based system from 2021, which may not affect you for an application under Tier 4, but UK immigration policy is going to have a lot of very stupid reforms and you’ll want to keep on top of those. If you have an offer in hand from a UK university, it is made somewhat easier, but you’ll still need to budget for processing costs, an NHS subsidy paid in for every year you will be there (something like $300/year), and a trip to a UK visa office to have your fingerprints and biometric information taken. If you don’t live near one, that will be travel expenses and so forth. You then have a temporary visa issued for first entry into the country, and a Biometric Residence Permit which you pick up at your university.

That, at least, was the process the last time I applied for a student visa, and it may all have changed by the time you do it. As noted, there are a lot of upfront visa costs, so you’ll want to be aware of those. You need a number of supporting documents, including offer of study, proof of income or ability to financially support yourself (since most Tier 4 visas either don’t let you work or only work a limited number of hours), proof of English proficiency (as a native English speaker/person from an English-speaking country, you won’t need this), and so on. You can’t start the process before you have the offer, but you’ll want to start it as soon as possible afterward, because it can take several months, and obviously needs to be done before you can travel. You will also want to open a UK bank account as soon as you arrive, which can be done once you have your residential address and a certificate from the student services office at your university verifying that you are in fact a student there. It’s pretty difficult to pay out of non-UK accounts, at least for monthly/recurring transactions, and there are international fees. You will also want a UK phone. I still have my UK phone/phone number despite my current hiatus in America, since most carriers offer free or low-cost roaming in Europe (though subject to change with EU trade negotiations), which is nice. I pay only a little extra to have Global Roaming in North America, so I can still use my phone as if I’m in the UK. If you’re planning to be traveling, this is a nice perk to have.

As far as finding programs goes, I’m sure I don’t need to give you advice on what you’re interested in and where you’re looking. Obviously, universities in the UK are grouped as “Oxford and Cambridge” and “everyone else,” though there are also rankings within those. I have been at both of these; Oxford as an undergrad, and then I did my PhD at a large public university in the North that ranks within the top 10 in the UK. The North will be much lower, living-cost wise (actually, if you can swing it, just… don’t do it in London, the cost of living in London is out of control. Of course, if the program you really have your heart set on is in London, then go for it, but just be aware of what you’re getting into). It’s also a rule of thumb that you don’t go anywhere for a PhD unless they’re paying you. Don’t self-fund a PhD, it’s just too expensive, and any decent university will give you some kind of financial stipend. I had a scholarship that covered three years of full tuition at international rate, which was good, though I had to take out some living-cost loans. So if you’re trying to decide between two programs that have both accepted you, a situation I was also lucky enough to be in, it sounds crass, but: take the money. One university had already offered me the tuition/scholarship, while the other had accepted me but wasn’t sure about funding. So I took the one that paid the scholarship. You need every penny you can get. You will be comically, absurdly, unbelievably broke as a graduate student. I was looking back on it like “wow I really lived for four years on BUTTFUCK NOTHING.” It is not for the faint of heart; you will have financial stress along with academic pressure, and while I was lucky enough to have generous friends and family contributing to my living costs, I still barely scraped through. It is something you should be aware of.

I don’t know if you’ve studied in the UK system before (I’m assuming not), but the structure for a PhD is much less determined than in the American system. It will also vary from university to university, so it’s worth establishing contact with a potential faculty supervisor to ask questions and refine your project proposal. I made contact with my eventual supervisor at my PhD university before I actually applied there; I gave him my (much too broad and pretty unrefined) project proposal and what I was interested in, and he helped me tailor it into something that could be done in a feasible time frame and which would make use of his expertise and contribute to the field. Whatever you’re thinking about pitching as a thesis topic, you probably need to make it more specific. I don���t know what field you’re in; I’m a humanities/history person, obviously, so the rule always seems to be WRITE MORE, INFIDEL. But the point is, the UK system has much less structured time, and basically relies on you to have the self-motivation to go out and conduct the research and write it up, and if you’re someone more used to rigid requirements and classes and so forth, you might find it a little hands-off. If you’re like me and can just be set loose in your field of interest and do your own thing, you’ll like it. I feel like anyone who is serious enough about their subject to want to do a PhD has to be primarily self-motivating, but some people function better with clear guidelines, and those are not always forthcoming. I can’t count the number of times I wished my supervisors would just TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK TO DO, but they usually highlighted something and had me work to figure out how exactly to fix it. They weren’t negligent or uncaring or unsupportive, and the project became much better as a result, but yes, it’s on you to do, and it can again be frustrating.

As far as living, I didn’t try to rent a flat from afar, sight unseen, in my first year. I just registered for postgraduate campus housing, and lived with four predictably horribly messy roommates (why???!) before I managed to escape and rent a private flat for the next three years. You will need a guarantor with a UK address (i.e. not your parents in America) to sign on the lease agreement, especially if you fall below a certain income threshold, and go through the usual background checking and approval. If you want to have the place to yourself, it will be, as noted, much cheaper to find something you can afford in the North and not-London in general, though southern England and the London commuter belt will all be expensive. If you’re okay living with roommates, or you make friends during your program, it might work to room together and share costs, but I am a pathological introvert and don’t like people, so I lived by myself. 

Anyway. Right now, I am in the second round of applications for a Big Deal UK postdoctoral award, which would be for three years starting this fall if I got it, at another high-ranking large public university in the south of England. (So yes, everything that I just said about how much it costs to live in London/London suburbs is me playing myself). I would be applying for a Tier 2 visa (i.e. the permanent/settlement track/full-time work visa) if I got this, which would be another barrel of laughs and different requirements from a Tier 4. That is definitely unhatched chickens which we can’t count yet, as this is a highly competitive/prestigious award and there is absolutely no guarantee that I would get it, but it would mean that I would go through the international moving/visa application process for a third time, so I would once again become too unfortunately familiar with whatever bullshittery is happening now. Le sigh.

I don’t know if any of that is helpful; hopefully so. Let me know if you have more questions, and good luck.

[windless-hurricane]

Pennywise and the Dancing Girl

Chapter 1: The Shadow Girl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUMMARY: At the moment, I want this to be solely mysterious. I will say though that the "Shadow Girl" isn't who she seems and this will eventually become a Henry x OC (or reader) fanfic.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Before I begin, this story takes place in the 2017 IT universe. I also shifted some pieces of information around. So before I'm scolded for inaccuracies, I'll say them now. First off, I combined the Derry Middle School and High School. I wasn't sure if that was the case in the movie, but it wasn't stated. Nevertheless, I will still refer to it as Derry High. The main character is 14 and a freshman (going on sophomore). The entire Losers Club will be in 8th grade (going on to be freshmen) and all 13. The Bowers Gang are all sophomores (going on juniors) and 15, excluding Henry who is 16.

WARNINGS (for the entire series): Explicit language, violence, graphic scenes involving blood and/or death, some sexuality possibly, and some underage drinking and drug use.

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the last day of school. I couldn't lie and say I wasn't somewhere near excited. I knew it wasn't the last day of school altogether, but it would definitely be a step up from my current status as a freshman. All 8th graders dream of becoming freshmen; but once they realize the difficulties of dealing with upperclassmen, they want to join them. That had been the same mindset for me. Not only was I freshman, I was a transferee. That normally wouldn't be such a big deal, but it was at this school.

See, Derry High wasn't a typical high school. It included middle school as well. So, almost all the children here were attending this school for half their lives. They started in 6th grade and ended as seniors. Everyone knew everybody. Due to that, I thought I'd become a perfect candidate for teasing. I was practically fresh meat. However, that didn't happen. Why? Because I was barely noticeable. I kept to myself, hardly spoke a word to anyone, and moved swiftly through the halls like a shadow, avoiding certain people. It soon had become an objective to avoid four sophomores in particular: Henry Bowers, Patrick Hockstetter, Victor Criss, and Reginald "Belch" Huggins.

They were douchebags who got a kick out of tormenting anyone they saw below them. As a result of their animosity, even the juniors and seniors were afraid of them. You never messed with the "Bowers Gang" as they called themselves. I, a rarity, was not afraid of them and never would be. I just wanted to stay the shadow that I liked being and it became a promise to myself.

I kept to that promise for the entire year and now all I had to do was get through this day like any other. Then, it would be summer vacation, which was full of reading and...reading. I didn't have any friends, but I was satisfied with that. It was better to not get too attached to people you would end up leaving. In a way, that was my curse: the inability to care for anyone because you are not worth caring for. But it would be ok.

I walked through the front doors of the school, clutching the straps to my bag. Other students were already situated inside, engaging in morning chatter and shenanigans. I...went straight to my locker. I knew I had to empty it out and it would be better to do it now than later. So, I put in the combination and got to work. I wasn't necessarily the neatest, but it didn't look like the aftermath of a hurricane. Just messy. There were notebooks, textbooks, and a bunch of scattered and crumbled pieces of paper. It didn't take long to stuff these into my bag and throw what was left away. I closed my locker with a slam, but it didn't echo like it normally would because of background conversation.

I glanced around and my eyes ending up following the scene of two boys running away in the direction opposite to mine. Moments after, Henry Bowers and his gang of misfits were in the shot. He had an apparent smirk on his face. Probably from gloating because of the amount of power he had over the kids here. The thought of it was enough to make me roll my eyes; but I continued to watch, seeing if he would do anything else. He didn't. Just as I was about to turn away, his eyes met mine. He knew I had been staring and didn't have the intention of letting me go.

His eyes were crystal blue and they contradicted mine: my chocolatey brown. However, they still managed to be darker than mine and mine brighter than his. He didn't hold any expression in his face and neither did I. It was just blank staring. This wasn't the first time we did this. Occasionally throughout the year, we'd find each other's eyes, but never did anything about it. He didn't know me and he assumed I didn't know him. We had never been in the same vicinity as each other because if he was ever too close, I would've found a way out. All we had was this.

I hated to admit it, but he was quite pretty to look at. It didn't throw my hormones out of whack or anything. I stared at him because of his eyes. His eyes were dark, beautiful, and so familiar to me. I couldn't put my finger on it. It seemed I had looked into those eyes even before I knew him. There was something that intrigued me about them. I knew there was something hidden there. Even if I already had an idea, I longed to know myself.

I gulped out of my trance and released the handle to my locker. I stared just a bit longer until I turned away, losing sight of him and those eyes. Who would've known that days later Henry would tell me himself that he saw me as this mysterious girl that he wanted to crack. A girl that actually drew him in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was able to make it through three classes of Algebra, English and History. Since it had been the last day of school, we hardly did anything. There was clearly no homework to assign or assignments to finish. It was either a free for all with limited volume or we watched a movie on the projector. I was only interested in the movie. Currently I had one more class until lunch and no doubt, it was going to be the same as the others. It was actually quite a relief. Relaxing felt...nice. It nearly brought a smile to my face before I was interrupted.

My head snapped up on impulse as I heard a loud smack echo through the hallway. It didn't startle me, but it certainly caught my attention because before I knew it, I was rounding the corner quickly with a newfound purpose. It was a boy and he was lying on the ground. Getting a clearer shot, I saw that it was Eddie Kaspbrak, the local hypochondriac. I never knew him on a personal level, but I always saw him around. As you can tell, I knew a lot more about him than he did me. That's how it usually was with people. I knew along with him being a hypochondriac, he was a germaphobe who constantly expressed his paranoia to his friends. Other than that, he was quite funny and would never shut up about the evils of sickness and blessings of cleanliness. I sometimes found it rather cute.

He was also a favorite plaything of the Bowers Gang, along with the rest of his friends, Bill Denbrough, Stanley Uris, and Richie Tozier. I saw them around quite often too, either goofing off or arguing. I wonder where they were to have left Eddie alone. To have left him alone with Bowers and the dick squad. Maybe he was just unlucky. Henry had been manhandling Eddie's fanny pack and dumping its contents onto the floor beside him. I could only assume Eddie tried getting it back, but was only met with a shove to the ground. All I did was stare. It seems that's all I was good for.

Even though they deserved a good beating, I never interfered. It was part of the promise and it hadn't been difficult to maintain until now. I nearly wanted to break it. I don't know why, but the feeling was there. It wasn't enough to push me though as the fanny pack was already empty. I watched as Henry threw the pack at Eddie's face and mouthed something that I couldn't make out. Most likely it was some humiliating insult. I looked to Eddie and his expression killed me. Was it - sadness? Anger? Disappointment? It could be helped.

I walked over quietly and squatted down near him as he sat up. He gave me a shocked and questioning look before I began to gather his belongings into the fanny pack. He wasn't moving or saying anything, just watching like I had been moments ago. There was an inhaler, a few containers of pills, bandage. I guess this also served as a small first aid kit. Nice. I stood up and glanced around, making sure I collected everything. I had, expect for Eddie. I zipped up the pack before reaching my hand out to him. His expression managed to change. Why was he looking at me like that? It's like I was some miracle. Then, he looked to my hand and I smiled softly,

"Don't worry. I just came from the bathroom. It's clean."

His gaze switched between my face and hand until he finally took it. His was oddly soft. I helped him up gently and let it go as soon as he was up.

"Um, here," I muttered out, handing him his pack. He was still staring at me and finally, he snapped out of it. He took it quickly.

"T-thanks...um..." he cocked an eyebrow.

"Emma," I finished. "Emma Gray."

"Thanks, Emma." Red found its way onto his face. Was he really blushing?

"It's no problem. No one should face a jagoff alone." He smiled and it made me smirk. I reached into the side pocket of my bag and pulled out my mini bottle of hand sanitizer, showing it off to him. "I noticed you were almost out and you're definitely going to need a lot more to get rid of the stench of Bowers and his goons." I breathed out a laugh. "Here." I handed it to him and he took it almost joyfully.

I smiled completely and for once, it felt real. However, it was short lived. The bell rang.

"Shoot," I groaned. "We should get to class, like, now. It was nice talking to you. See you around, Eddie." I know I didn't give him time to respond, but there wasn't time for a response. I turned around and headed the opposite direction to class.

(EDDIE'S P.O.V.)

"Wait," I called out, but she was already gone.

"Damnit." How did she already know my name? I looked at the bottle she gave me and her name was written across the label in black marker. Her handwriting was beautiful. I let my thumb run over her name as I smiled to myself.

"Emma - Emma Gray."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(BACK TO EMMA'S P.O.V.)

I made it through Biology and as expected, we watched a movie - a real boring one about the inner mechanisms of a cell. It was over and time for lunch. I was looking forward to it because of what I packed today. If I did it right, it was going to be delicious. I began to fantasize about the greatness of my meal until I was forcefully pulled out of it. Could the world just not leave me to my mind today? Geez.

It was a noise and a deafening one at that. It came from down the hall and it was loud enough to make me wince, slight pain being brought to my ears. Who was it this time and why do they keep interrupting me? Thinking about it more, should I even ask? Knowing this school and its students, it was without a doubt Bowers. Did I want to find out? No. Would I inevitably end up finding out? Yes. This was the only way to the damned cafeteria.

I inched slowly down the hall, not in any rush to get an answer. I wasn't a nosy person. I actually considered myself quite considerate of other people's business. Then, I heard whimpering. I rolled my eyes harshly as I quickened my pace. What's wrong with you, Emma? Why are you being so interactive today? Why the hell do you even care? No one else in this god forsaken school does, why should you? Don't you remember the promise? You're too good for this, but maybe there was a reason not to be too good. Maybe it was Eddie and his call for help.

I rounded the corner and it wasn't Eddie, loosing a good amount of motivation. It was Ben Hanscom, the other new kid. Chubby, adorable, vulnerable, and being pushed up against the lockers by Bowers while his goons watched in amusement. I scoffed. This was the second time today. Was this really his way of celebrating the last day of school?

"Hey!" Oh, Emma. What the hell are you doing? You know you could care less.

All five boys turned their attention towards me with different expressions on each of their faces. Ben's eyes were pleading and hopeful while he was completely red in the face. Patrick was smirking creepily and it was enough to make me shudder. Victor and Belch actually held a similar look that reeked of 'Who the hell is this girl?' For the main star, he just looked pissed.

"The fuck do you want," he questioned deeply, his eyes peering into me.

"For you not to be a conniving dickhead," I stated proudly, stopping in front of them with my arms crossed. I don't know where this surge of confidence was coming from, but I kinda liked it.

"The fuck did you just say to me," he let go of Ben and started lurking towards me. This was the perfect chance for him to get away. The boys were entirely focused on me. I looked passed Henry's shoulder and my eyes met Ben's. He was terrified and astonished. I nodded my head up slightly, gesturing for him to go. He didn't get it the first time; but after repeating it, he got it and ran away. I looked back to Henry,

"You heard me." This is the closest I've ever been to him. We were nearly a foot apart. He was significantly taller than I was, not a giant, but taller. Had surprisingly muscular arms and I never noticed the upturn of his nose before. He broke the distance with one more step. I wanted to step away because of the awkwardness, but I also didn't want to give him the satisfaction. I simply kept my arms crossed and craned my neck up to look at him. He did the opposite with his neck, but also crossed his arms. Maybe this was a way of establishing dominance.

"I don't think I heard you quite right. Mind repeating what you said," he pushed. He was trying to scare me, but I don't scare easy.

"I said, I don't want you to be a conniving dickhead."

"I don't care about what you want," he retorted.

"You're the one who asked, honey." He let out a breathy laugh.

"No one gets away with talking to me like that, sweetheart."

"I think I just did."

"I like her," a voice called out. I soon realized it belonged to Patrick. Shame because I didn't like him. "What're we going to do with her, Henry?" Henry opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"I'll tell you what's going to happen. I'm going to walk away and enjoy myself a lovely meal in the cafeteria, while you four stand around and play with each other's dicks. And then you're never going to bother me ever again. Got it? Ok." I moved to walk past him, but he grabbed my bicep instead.

"It's not that easy," he told me, squeezing roughly. I yanked my arm away harshly, catching him off guard.

"It is that easy because I'm not afraid of you, Henry," I let out through gritted teeth. With that, I pushed past him, hitting my shoulder with his purposely.

(HENRY'S P.O.V.)

Patrick scoffed, "You're just going to let her get away with that? She deserves to be taught a lesson to." I agreed. I completely agreed, but she wouldn't be easy.

"I know," is all I managed to say before I turned to face them. "Do any of you know her?" They all shook their head uselessly, causing me to roll my eyes.

Vic was the only one to speak,

"I know she's a freshman, just not the name." I nodded,

"Lets get outta here." I walked ahead, knowing they would automatically follow. It was that girl. She knew my name, but I didn't know hers. It bothers me, but a lot more than it should. How could I not know the name of a girl like that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THAT IS THE END OF CHAPTER 1. Hopefully you enjoyed it! This is the first chapter of a definite series :)