#i'm 100% bucky in this scenario tbh

[viperbranium]

a shrunkyclunks meet-cute

Now that the patreon thing is over, I can finally share the reward fics with the rest of you guys. Have the first one, and thanks again to everyone who supported relena and I <333

As Bucky steps into his favorite coffee shop, Becca walking in right after him, he can’t help but let out a miserable whine.

The place is uncharacteristically busy for a Thursday morning, and the line of people standing between him and his very much needed shot of caffeine seems to be at least twice as long as usual.

He usually doesn’t mind waiting, really. The coffee shop is warm and nice, and the wonderful scent of coffee that fills the air is already enough to get his brain synapses going. Normally he wouldn’t be too bothered by having to spend an extra 15 minutes standing there, just relaxing and enjoying the smell and the sounds of the espresso machines as he watches people come and go.

There’s no relaxing around Becca, though. She’s already been rambling nonstop about who-knows-what all the way from Bucky’s apartment, and really, Bucky loves her, okay? It’s not that he doesn’t care about what Becca has to say. But god, he’s NOT a morning person. He needs coffee before he can do the words-putting-into-sentence-doing, and without it to reboot his brain, all the words coming out of Becca’s mouth just sound like gibberish.

So instead of being able to stand there in a half-comatose state until some wonderful barista places a cup of magical liquid productivity in his hands, he’s being forced to try to make sense of actual words like a full-grown, functional adult.

He’s also failing spectacularly.

He swears to god they’ve been here for 10 minutes already and the goddamn line hasn’t gotten any shorter, when he hears Becca say, “There’s a new Captain America ride in Coney Island.”

“Great,” Bucky deadpans. “I’ve wanted to ride him for a while, now.”

At that, the wall of muscle standing in front of them lets out a choked-out noise and shuffles a bit awkwardly on his feet, like he was about to turn around but managed to stop himself at the last moment. Bucky’s definitely not awake enough to ask the dude if he’s got a problem with his sexuality, though, so he just ignores him.

“Gross,” Becca says, scrunching her nose. “If I end up with trauma cause of the mental image, you’re paying for my therapy.”

“It’s a great mental image.” Bucky shrugs.

“It’s Stark’s doing…” Becca informs him, ignoring Bucky’s comment as she continues to scroll through the article. “He must’ve thought building just an Iron Man ride was too narcissistic even for him, so he’s giving every Avenger one. Oh, man, he’s gonna take your place as Cap’s #1 fan, there’s no way you can top this.”

“Not that I wouldn’t if he was down for it, but hey, as long as he can top me, we’re all good.”

The man in front of them discreetly clears his throat at Bucky’s comment, and Bucky’s brow furrows and he has to purse his lips to stop himself from saying something this time.

“Bucky, ew,” Becca scolds him as someone else leaves with their coffee and they all take another step towards the counter. “You’re my brother. I do not want to think about you two having sex every time Captain America’s on the news, thank you very much.”

It takes everything Bucky is not to comment on how he always wants to think about them having sex whenever Captain America is on the news. Instead, he just says, “Hey, you brought him up.”

“Cause you wouldn’t listen to me unless we talked about your crush!”

The sound, somewhere between outraged and embarrassed, escapes Bucky’s lips before he can stop it.

“I don’t have a crush!”

Becca smiled impishly. “Bucky, you have a crush so massive it can probably be seen from the ISS.”

“I’m a grown man,” Bucky grumbles. “I don’t have crushes.” Becca quirks an eyebrow at him like she’s not convinced, so he goes on. “I want him to nail me into the mattress, which is entirely different.”

“Oh, please,” Becca says. “You call him Steve like a nerd.”

God, Bucky’s really starting to regret this conversation.

“It’s his name,” he argues still. He knows Becca’s thoroughly enjoying poking fun at him and that he’s only spurring her on at this point, but dammit, she always seems to know how to get under his skin. The man in front of them seems to be really engrossed in their conversation too, probably taking lots of issues with everything Bucky’s gay ass is saying, and that’s also getting on Bucky’s nerves.

“You do know most people call him Cap, right?” Becca tells him, crossing her arms and smirking like she just won something.

Bucky lets out a groan and pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s not even sure how the conversation got to this point anymore, but this has got to be the dumbest argument he’s ever had the misfortune to find himself involved in.

“Look, he’s a person, not a military rank. And can we please just drop this?” He tells her.

“Wait!” Becca says excitedly as she grabs Bucky’s arm. Whatever she just thought of, Bucky knows it can’t be good. “Didn’t you write a paper about him in college?”

“Oh god,” Bucky practically whines. He’s more than ready to forgo coffee at this point and just bolt. To turn around and leave before someone recognizes him. But it’s already the turn of the man in front of them, so instead he just turns to face Becca and shoots her his best pleading expression. “Please, shut up,” he begs.

Becca is merciless, though.

““The Phenomenon of Captain America as a queer icon and the widespread reluctance to recognize him as such: How Captain America shaped the modern image of masculinity, and his impact on the generations growing up during the post-war era in the US”,” She recites. Bucky can’t even believe she remembers, the asshole.

“Becca, please! I come here every morning!” And it’s already hard enough to try to pretend his interest is only casual and not borderline obsessive as it is, god fucking dammit.  

Rebecca’s laughing in earnest now. Tears-in-her-eyes, hands-around-her-belly laughing. If Bucky didn’t love her so fucking much, god only knows why, he’d probably strangle her or something.

He’s about to say as much when, all of a sudden, Becca stops.

She’s staring right past Bucky at the now one-man line in front of them, a bit wide-eyed and with a hint of red coloring her cheeks. Bucky follows her gaze, and before he can even ask what’s wrong, he damn near chokes.

Because it turns out the guy Bucky totally assumed was some old dude, based mostly on the khakis and the old-fashioned hairstyle, is actually Steve fucking Rogers himself.

Yep. Bucky just spent the past 20 minutes standing right behind Captain America and repeatedly stating how damn much he wants the guy to fuck him til he can’t walk. Why can’t the ground just open up and swallow him whole when he needs it?

For a few moments, Steve Rogers just stares at him, standing there in all his 6’2” and 240 lbs of 100% American beefcake glory, freshly made cup of coffee forgotten in his hand and the deepest blush Bucky’s ever seen creeping up his neck. It contrasts nicely with Bucky’s own skin, which has completely drained of all color.

Since he’s apparently managed to shock Captain America so much with his raunchy comments that he’s frozen in place, Bucky should probably use this chance to either apologize or bolt, but his own brain keeps refusing to reboot. Then Steve Rogers is clearing his throat and taking a small step forward, and fuck, Bucky’s so, so, soooo dead.

Except Steve Rogers doesn’t look offended in the slightest.

Steve Rogers looks thoroughly embarrassed, yes –and in any other situation Bucky would definitely be focusing on how damn gorgeous he looks with his cheeks flushed that lovely shade of red—, but Bucky could swear it’s also amusement that he’s seeing in those piercing blue eyes.

Steve Rogers stops right in front of Bucky--the corner of his mouth turned slightly upwards and those eyelashes threatening to turn Bucky’s legs into jelly--, holds his hand right up to Bucky’s head, and says, “You must be this tall to ride.”

And then he just… leaves.

Bucky can hear Becca, standing half a step behind him, whispering, “What the fuck!?”, but it’s not until the barista’s trying to get his attention and asking him if he’s going to order, that he manages to kick his brain back into action.

Well. Holy fucking shit.

-

He almost doesn’t return to the coffee shop.

Not because he thinks anyone else besides Becca and STEVE ROGERS witnessed how he made a total fool of himself, or how Captain America, in an unprecedented act of diplomacy considering his history of telling men in charge to go fuck themselves, only teased him a bit for it instead of knocking him flat on his ass. No.

He almost doesn’t return because he’s too fucking ashamed of himself and of the whole thing, and being here where everything took place is only going to help his asshole brain provide him with a full HD rerun of the whole incident. Ugh.

In the end he figures not coming isn’t gonna make him any less mortified, though, and the place does make the best coffee in the area, by far.

Trying his damnedest not to blush and pointedly staring at nothing but his own feet --just in case he was wrong about the no other witnesses thing-- he walks into the coffee shop and heads straight for the counter… only to be stopped by a soft, “Hey!” and a gentle hand tapping on his shoulder.

When he turns, he finds himself once again standing face-to-face with Steven Grant Rogers.

Who’s not sporting quite the same shade of crimson he was yesterday, but still has a beautiful hint of a blush going on, and whose smile is so warm and inviting it makes Bucky’s skin tingle.

Or it would, if the urge to run in the opposite direction and go hide under a rock wasn’t so damn strong.

There’s an awkward moment of silence as Bucky just stands there shell-shocked, staring at him like he hadn’t already embarrassed himself enough, before Steve says, "So, I'm Steve, but I guess you know that already..."

“Yeah, I--” he tries, fumbling for words, but Bucky’s mouth still seems to be refusing to catch up with his brain.

Steve smiles a bit more, seemingly amused. “And you are?” he prompts.

That seems to do the trick. It takes a bit of stumbling over words, but Bucky at last manages to get the words flowing… and then they just won’t stop. “Ja-James. Bucky! I’m Bucky. I mean I’m James but everyone calls me-- oh god I’m so sorry about yesterday, I didn’t know you were-- And my sister wouldn’t shut up, and oh my god, you heard about the paper, that must’ve been so weird, I’m so fucki--ah. I’m so very sorry, I’m--”

“You can say “fucking”!” Steve cuts him off, not unkindly, and laughs “And you don’t have to apologize. Bucky, right?” he asks, holding his hand out for Bucky to shake. Bucky nods, and promptly does so. “It’s nice to meet you, Bucky.”

“I wrote that essay before you were thawed,” Bucky still feels the need to clarify. “I wouldn’t’ve… it must feel so weird to have historians everywhere speculating about your life, I really am sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Steve reassures him, and then blushes a bit before adding, “I, um… I read it. Your paper, I read it last night.”

“You what!?”

Steve shrugs. “The title was intriguing, and... you were surprisingly accurate.”

And god, okay. Bucky really needs to sit down right the fuck now, because Steve Rogers, Captain fucking America, did NOT just say he had read Bucky’s stupid paper, a paper in which Bucky had talked at length about all the ways in which America’s Golden Boy was as rampantly queer as a sparkly unicorn, and said that it had been accurate.

“So, um…” Steve starts when Bucky does nothing but gape at him for 2 whole minutes. “You mentioned coming here every morning, so I thought…” He moves aside a bit and gestures to the table behind him, and to the two cups of coffee placed on it. “Have coffee with me?”

Bucky has to blink three times before he’s convinced this is really happening, and he still wouldn’t scratch the possibility of Steve having kicked his ass so badly the day before that he’s now hallucinating off the list. “You want to have coffee with me? After everything I said?”

Steve smiles again, and Bucky swears to god, every time he does it gets a bit warmer in here. “I want you have coffee with you,” he confirms. “Because of everything you said. I liked it. That thing about the rank in particular, but everything else too. So yeah, I’d like to have coffee with you, and discuss some of the things you mentioned in your paper a bit more, if you’re down for it? Then we can see about the riding thing, maybe,” he finished with a smirk, those gorgeous blue eyes of his crinkling playfully.

Well, hell yeah Bucky was down for it.

[voxofthevoid]

Oh man I was reading "I'm a ghost, You're and angel" for the 10000 time, and there was a little interaction that just got my brain spinning, where Steve asks Bucky if he's on a honeypot mission. What would it be like if the answer was yes? Bucky definitely enjoying the sex and /enthusiastically/ consenting, but at the same time there's an undercurrent of like... he's saying yes because he wants to, but he would still say yes if he didn't want to. Because sometimes bosses are just like that, man.

Hello, there’s a fun question. Grab a seat, anon, we’ll be here a while!

So that question is kind of a pivotal moment for the story in terms of tone and content.  The plot of i’m a ghost, you’re an angel is what it is because Bucky said yes to that question because it makes honesty the basis of their evolving relationship. Not honesty in the sense of complete disclosure but more of this tacit understanding that they both have about each other. So Steve knows that Bucky has orders to spy on him, but Bucky also knows - he’s not 100% sure, but 99.8, let’s say - that Steve knows what Fury wants, and again, Steve knows Bucky knows Steve knows.

Typing that gave me a headache, and I apologize for what it will do to you.

And what tips them both into this unspoken understanding is that question. Is Bucky fucking Steve on Fury’s orders? Nope, they can move on. Steve, who’s been tentatively seeing Bucky as a possible ally, pretty much decides at that moment that Bucky’s on his side and his loyalty to SHIELD is the problem if he wants Bucky to join the Avengers. That’s his angle, from that point onwards. It’s why most of the conflict - which is sparse to begin with because let’s face it, I write more porn than plot - is external. Bucky’s easy to seduce to the dark side because he very much wants to be there, with Steve and the Avengers.

Now, if we take that question and make its answer yes, then we’ll have a whole lot of complications, which I wouldn’t have been able to finish in 3 chapters tbh.

Scenario #1 - Steve asks whether it’s a honeypot and Bucky admits that it is, but that he’d sleep with Steve anyway of his own will.

In this case, we have the same kind of honesty as in the fic, except that undertone of “he would still say yes if he didn’t want to” is there, and Steve would be very aware of it. He wouldn’t have sex with Bucky at the point he did in the fic and would probably be working through his own issues about fucking him in his apartment, early in chapter 1. Meanwhile, Bucky would be - well, very thirsty. UST galore. Natasha would be the definition of done, and Clint would just cackle in private. They’d end up in similar straits as in the fic ultimately; they’d just take a longer, more curvy path to resolve their personal matters as opposed to the professional side of it. Because it wasn’t just the process of falling for Steve that got Bucky to switch sides, it was also what Steve saw in him as a person and an agent, and how the Avengers worked together.

Scenario #2 - Steve asks whether it’s a honeypot and Bucky convincingly lies that it isn’t

Scenario 2.5 exists where Bucky lies but unconvincingly. But that's not relevant because the plot would wither and die a very quick death there.

Okay, so, this one would be a long fucking fic. We have Bucky who’s very much attracted to Steve but also cool with fucking him on SHIELD’s orders. We already know he’s been on honeypot missions before, that he’s decent at it, and it would be easier with Steve because Bucky doesn’t have to convince him that the attraction is real because it is real. Problem will be later on, once Bucky starts to fall for Steve while also developing a soft spot for what he has seen of the Avengers.

I think the split in the plotline would be the end of chapter two, where instead of telling Steve that Fury sent Bucky to gather info - which they both know Steve already knows - Bucky would confess that he lied to Steve and that the mission was a honeypot.

I don’t have a clear idea of how exactly things would proceed, but there would be angst and temporary separations. Steve would do what Bucky asked and terminate his deal with Fury. Bucky would return to SHIELD and pine.

Pine a lot.

And then, I don’t know. More interactions during missions that just happen to intersect, ill-advised passion-fueled sex, fraught conversations under gunfire, all that fun shit. The fic would definitely need an Angst with a Happy Ending tag.

Scenario #3 - Bucky decides to play the long game, doesn’t tell Steve at the end of chapter 2 that it’s a honeypot, and pretends to defect from SHIELD

In terms of plot, we’d have the entirety of i’m a ghost, you’re an angel as it is, with certain changes at the beginning of chapter 3. The interior monologue would be a very different beast though. Bucky’s characterization would also be significantly different, though still in line with what we see in if you’re looking for jesus.

The sex would be Complicated in that they both want it but:

Bucky’s still on a mission and would’ve said yes either way

Steve doesn’t know and thinks Bucky’s doing this solely out of personal interest

Dubious Consent tag, anyone?

And after the plot-as-we-know-it ends, things would get a lot more complicated, especially in Bucky’s head. Caught between SHIELD and Steve but in a way far more intense and with higher stakes than the series.

There would be one or two scenes of Thou Hast Betrayed Me and the likes. Would it end happy? Yeah, probably, because I’m predictable like that, but then, my definition of a happy ending can accommodate a lot of fucked-upery so there’s that.

I won’t be writing any of these scenarios, but if anyone wants to give it a shot, go right ahead.

[Also, I’m scheduling this for a few hours later so that it won’t get buried in my queued posts]