#i'll try to keep the loveposting at bay cos i don't want that to be the focus of this blog

[noah-zero-zero-eight]

no more unbridled rage cossss i wanna be held :3

but seriously, i get so angry sometimes it's a real problem, but then recently i was told it's okay to be angry and i had to wrap my head around it for a bit. not that it's ever that deep, and not that i'll take those words as a sign to keep lashing out whenever something goes awry, but i keep forgetting that i need to actually feel my feelings before i can soothe them so the reminder was nice.

people can be really gentle sometimes. wiping your charcoal-stained hands for you after having just screamed your heart out, looking at you like you're the only person in the world for that moment, making little hand signals so you know where on your face they're gonna kiss you next, always offering to do things for you, always trying to understand. weird stuff. not to out anyone on a pedastal, but it feels good to be treated good. there's also the fact, or what now feels like a law that they wrote within me, that they deserve really nice things, and i hope to provide that someway somehow. i'm not strong in the same way but i can be warm, i can keep a secret, and with no words it feels like enough for now.

time doesn't "go too fast" when i'm with them. there's no blink-and-it's-gone-and-you-feel-you-won't-have-it-again. for them it's a bit different but i personally don't like the turbulence. it feels more like time stops existing as a whole. the air is cold and 6 PM is just a number and two letters.

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ

heavy focus - adrianne lenker