#i'll try to have pt 3 out next sunday

[grandwretch]

only i must wander, pt 2

[on ao3][pt 1]

content warnings: non-graphic discussions of racism, bigotry, murder, and child abuse. i go into more detail on ao3.

Before Steve even had a chance to breathe, Robin was human again. A furrow in her brow creased her smooth skin, frustration at the forced woge evident. Her eyes– blue, Steve noted, unlike the gold they had been a moment before –held Steve's gaze for a moment before sliding away. 

Her quick return to humanity did not negate the familiar rush of adrenaline. Steve's body had locked up the moment her eyes had flashed at him, torn between two instincts. Just as he'd feared, the forefront of his mind was focused on violence. The enemy wasn't moving, unarmed and currently disguised as a human, but that only meant that Steve had the advantage; There was a blade on the far counter, dull but usable, and if he needed to run, there was a window over her shoulder. 

He'd probably survive the fall. 

But as much as his body wanted to shove his new manager– Seriously, what was that guy's name, again? –to the side and lunge for the knife, Steve refused to give in. Hopper had told him he could power through these instincts, but it didn't feel like fighting. It felt like hiding. Like he if he didn't move, didn't breathe, then the terror of his own brain couldn't find him. 

The manager said something. Steve didn't hear, didn't care, all of his senses attuned to Robin and her every move. 

Robin stood, and Steve felt his entire body shift. It wasn't a flinch, not so much movement that the manager would clock it, but he… His fingers twitched into loose fists, his posturing changing as his hips and feet moved to a more dynamic stance. It didn't look like much, just a nervous guy fidgeting on his first day at work, but Steve could feel his body revving up for a fight. 

And judging by the look in Robin's eyes, she might actually give it to him. 

"I can show him around the back," Robin said, smiling at the manager. "We used to go to school together. It'll give us time to catch up." The friendliness on her face was obviously fake, plastic-y and barely an effort. But if the manager noticed, he didn't care. 

"Good looking out, Rob. I needed to give Patrick his break, anyway," he said. "Steve, I'll see you in about thirty minutes to finish up your paperwork?" 

It hurt to make himself nod, his body unwilling to give in to the extraneous movement. Stilted though it was, the manager was happy enough to accept it. He smiled, nodded, and left them alone in the room. 

The woge had rippled back across Robin's face before the door even shut behind him. Now that he was expecting it, Steve could see more of the details of her second face. Unlike Dustin, the fur sprouting on her face was mostly white, and it faded into the same reddish-brown as her hair. Her teeth and nose lengthened, a subtle snout protruding from her face. The biggest change, however, was her eyes: They glittered gold, larger and more fierce than her human gaze. 

Steve wasn't great at this Wesen thing yet, but Dustin had told him that tons of Wesen had attributes of animals, and Robin was obviously one of them. Would knowing which one help him in a fight? She was obviously something furry and mean, like some kind of cat… Or maybe a fox? 

Robin met his curious gaze, and Steve watched her face grow even angrier at what she saw there. 

Before Steve could even wonder which sins she saw reflected back in his eyes, Robin was taking large, furious steps towards him. 

Not even Steve's dedication to not hurting anyone could power through his need to not be murdered in an ice cream shop by an angry Wesen. He gave up on the idea of the blade– It was too far, on the other side of teeth and claws, and he wasn't willing to risk it for a sub-par weapon. Instead, he reached out for the first thing he could get his hands on. 

It turned out to be an ice cream scoop. 

Steve had half a mind to be embarrassed of his own instincts, but in the next breath a hundred scenarios flooded through his mind. He could use the handle as brass knuckles, use the added force to break her nose, pushing the cartilage into her brain. But would the Wesen bone structure allow for it? He couldn't be sure. That was why he obviously had to go for the eyes, using the slight point of the scoop to remove an eye from the socket. But– 

Bile rose in his throat, and Steve forced himself to swallow even as plan after plan sprouted fully-formed in his mind. 

"Please don't make me hurt you," he said, his voice shaking in his throat. "I really don't want to hurt you." 

The plea only deepened the disgust on Robin's face, and she took one more step towards him. Steve planted his feet, twirling the scoop to reverse his grip when she bared her teeth at him. He would definitely have to take a few teeth out first. 

"Why am I not surprised that King Steve is a fucking Grimm?" Robin growled, the unfamiliar word like a curse in her mouth. It was obviously supposed to mean something to him, supposed to hurt, but the best Steve could do was confusion. 

Confusion so deep, in fact, that it helped dull the rage and terror that Steve couldn't tame. He felt his muscles relax by centimeters, the energy going instead towards trying to figure out what the fuck that was supposed to mean. 

"What the fuck is a Grimm?" 

He would have thought it was his Wesen name, although it didn't exactly sound like Hexenbiest or Eisbiber. It sounded English, in fact, and although Dustin had lectured him a thousand times about why German and English sounded so similar, the familiarity unsettled Steve a bit. Sure, 'beast' wasn't exactly something you wanted to be called, but Steve was willing to say that 'grim' was a fair bit closer. 

"Please," Robin scoffed. When Steve could only blink at her, shrugging, her face changed to something that almost resembled pity. "You're kidding." 

"I have no fucking idea what you're talking about," Steve said. "What is that? A Grimm, I mean. Is that– Is that what I am?" 

Without another word, Robin dropped the woge and turned away from him, picking up the book she had abandoned on the table. 

"Look, I'm sorry that we got off on the wrong foot. I'm new at this Wesen thing, so I don't really know how to stop the eyes from giving people the wrong idea, but if you– If you know what I am, then maybe you could–" 

Laughter cut him off, and Robin shook her head, turning back around. "I'm not really interested in teaching a future serial killer how to do his job, thanks." 

Steve faltered. "I… what?" 

"Look, I don't care what you do outside of work. Do what you need to. But stay the fuck away from me, okay?" 

She wasn't meeting his eyes, Steve noticed. Not even really looking at him at all, even though it meant she was at a disadvantage if he attacked. It was just the tiniest gesture, submissive where everything else had been primed to offend, and Steve realized with a sinking stomach that she was scared. Robin was terrified of him, not in the way that El had been, but as a person. 

The adrenaline had long since faded, and Robin was still afraid that he would kill her. 

"I'm not…" Steve panted. "I wouldn't…." 

Robin didn't wait for him to find his words. She was out the door before he had even caught his breath, leaving the door banging behind her. 

It had been hell getting through the rest of the shift. It was, blessedly, a short one, more of an orientation than anything, but Steve still couldn't focus for more than five minutes. His brain kept repeating the words Robin had thrown in his face.

A future serial killer. What the fuck had that meant?

Steve didn't go home after his first shift. He had planned to, planned to celebrate with a long, hot shower and some take out. The anxiety that crept up when he was finally alone in his car didn't care what Steve had planned, however. Normally, he would have just called Dustin to puzzle it over, like he usually did with every other perplexing social interaction, but Dustin was only allowed one phone call a day, which meant Steve got to talk to him once a week. It was a blessing that Claudia had afforded him Sundays, honestly. So Steve turned to the only other person in this town who could put up with him for more than five minutes. 

Hopper didn't even bother to act surprised when Steve knocked on his door. "Rough day at work?" he said, a grin curled around the cigarette he had tucked into the corner of his mouth. 

"Wesen coworker," Steve said. 

That was enough explanation, apparently. "Fuck, kid," Hopper said, stepping back so Steve could slip past him into the living room. "You can't catch a break, huh?" 

"I… handled it better than I thought I would," Steve admitted as he crossed the room to throw himself onto the couch. "I almost threw up afterwards, but I didn't let it control me again." 

He heard the door close, and Hopper's heavy footsteps on the floor behind him. Steve couldn't see him from where his head lolled on the couch cushion, but he could see Hopper's shadow reaching across the floor. That was enough. 

"See, I knew you could do it," Hopper said, over the distinct sound of a fridge door opening. 

Steve huffed, thinking about the things Robin had said to him. Had called him. "She knew what I was," he said, because it felt wrong to acknowledge the praise when he was pretty sure he didn't deserve it. "Called me a Grimm." 

"That…" Hopper sounded as confused as Steve felt. "Now, I don't speak German, but I'm pretty sure that's just English." 

"I don't fucking know anymore, man. From what Dustin's been telling me, I think they might be the same thing." 

"Wouldn't that be useful?" Hopper scoffed. The fridge closed. "Did she bother to explain what it meant?" 

"N… no?" Steve swallowed. "I asked, but she wouldn't really…" 

Hopper rounded the couch and held an already sweating can of beer out. Steve accepted it with shaking hands. 

"She didn't say it like it was a nice thing," Steve said, finally. "Honestly, I think she assumed I was there to kill her." 

That certainly made Hopper pause. Steve watched him pause, halfway into his recliner, before finally forcing himself to complete the motion. They didn't speak for a moment, but Steve couldn't bring himself to drink. The idea of anything on his churning stomach made him sick. 

"Does it… matter?" Hopper said, eventually. 

Steve laughed, a strained, choking thing. "Does it matter?" he repeated, "Does it matter that apparently my entire– my entire species is supposed to kill people? Yeah, Hop, I would say it does." 

"That's not how–" Hopper shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Listen, don't go talking to Dustin about what I'm about to say, but from what I've heard from Claudia Henderson, I sometimes get the feeling that these Wesen folk are racist as hell." 

Steve blinked. "I don't think it's really the same thing." 

"Yeah?" Hopper's mouth twisted, a smile that made Steve shiver. "You weren't here when she was trying to explain to me what El was. Some of the stuff she said… She's not human, either, but she talked about El like she was worse than a monster. Like she would kill all of us in our sleep if we gave her the chance." 

Steve thought about it. It felt wrong, like a pebble in his shoe, to think about himself that way. He'd been very lucky growing up, he knew that. He had the money, the right looks, the right family. He couldn't imagine himself dealing with the same things that Lucas had gone through, for instance. But… Steve also thought about the things Dustin said, sometimes, about his mom not letting him be alone with El, how Steve himself probably wouldn't be allowed within five feet of him anymore when she discovered that Steve wasn't human. 

It wasn't the same thing, not at all, but it still didn't feel good.

"I'm not saying that she was right," Steve said, slowly, "but my instincts…" 

"You're not a fucking animal, kid," Hopper grunted. "Don't let them treat you like one." 

He raised the legs of his recliner, settling into the cushion with a pointed silence. The conversation was over, as far as Hop was concerned. 

Steve tried to be okay with that. Tried to be okay with the idea that they were wrong, not him. Every day, he woke up and tried again. It never really stuck. Some days were better than others. Some days, Steve could almost brush off Robin's glare without a single pang of guilt. Some days, Steve felt human. Most days he didn't. There was a voice in his head that said they were right, that it might be for the wrong reasons, but there was something wrong with him.

Robin only made it worse. Steve had tried to keep out of her way, but there were only so many excuses that could keep them off the same shifts. When they did work together, Robin never let up– He tried to keep quiet, keep his head down, but she would always find something to say. 

It was never nice. Of course. After a while, she didn't even seem fearful, just disgusted at his existence. Everything Steve did was under scrutiny, with Robin insulting everything from his hair to his customer service. Once, during a particularly intense rush, she hissed at him for breathing 'like a beast'. 

That's what she said. Like a beast. 

El was the only thing that helped. Hopper didn't understand, and Dustin was away at camp, but El was always happy to see him. Steve didn't talk about it much, not wanting to unload the mess in his head on a little girl, but Steve was sure El got it, anyway. 

Steve didn't know what Mrs. Henderson told her about being a Hexenbiest. He didn't want to know. Avoiding her was awkward enough without actively wanting to rip her apart for making El feel bad for something she couldn't control. 

And, yeah, he got the irony– It was different for El, okay? 

Hanging out with El was different than hanging with Dustin and the others. While the boys left Steve with the same happy, tired feeling as a good swim meet, El made him feel… grounded. Restored. He didn't know if that was personality or power, but he was sure that was the only thing keeping him sane. 

After bad days, Steve would drive straight to the cabin. Hopper would always roll his eyes and grouse about Steve keeping his daughter up all hours, but he never actually turned Steve away. (Besides he loved it when El would kick Mike out for Steve. He never laughed harder.) They would commandeer the couch, chasing Hopper off to the kitchen nook, and watch movies or music videos Steve had taped. Sometimes, El read out loud to Steve, instead; Her vocabulary was improving in leaps and bounds. Once night settled fully, they would go out onto the porch and talk until El couldn't form words around her yawns. 

They never talked about the Wesen thing. Everything else was fair game, though. Sometimes it was simple things, like what it was like to love a Wheeler, or if Lucas and Will would like the book they just finished. Sometimes El talked about the lab, about the siblings she'd lost. Sometimes Steve admitted, nervous every time, that when his parents were home he felt like a cornered animal. Max joined them from time to time, the conversations becoming all the more bittersweet. 

Sure, making yet another thirteen year old best friend probably wasn't the healthiest thing Steve had ever done, but it got him out of bed and into work every morning. That was more than enough, for now. 

El must have said something to the other kids, because they started showing up at work more often. Every day, in fact, even when they'd long since run out of allowance to spend on ice cream. They weren't obvious about it, only popping by to tell him about their day or beg for free samples, except for Max. 

Max, ever the protector, loved to come by on days Robin worked. Her new favorite hobby was sitting at a table for hours and yelling over Robin whenever she spoke. Max always got Steve's employee discount. 

"You do not look happy," El said one night. Max had still been in the lobby when Steve clocked out, so they'd driven to the cabin together instead of going home. 

"I'm fine," Steve said, automatically, straightening himself from his slump. 

"He has to work with Robin all next week," Max said, ignoring Steve's noise of protest. "She was complaining about it loud enough for half the mall to hear." 

"Hm." El's eyes narrowed. Then, as if the moment had never happened, she turned towards Steve's stack of tapes. "I want to watch the Muppets." 

Steve really shouldn't have been surprised when El showed up with Max the next day.

The moment he registered her bright, familiar grin, Steve felt his veins go cold. It was a strange, almost alien feeling now to be afraid without the all-consuming adrenaline and rage of his woge. Instead of forcing himself to stay still, he was stuck , unable to do anything but watch Max and El approach the counter. 

"Hi, Steve!" El said, smiling. She looked so happy, all dolled up in new clothes and light makeup, and Steve wanted to be happy for her. He really did. Hopper's voice in his head simply wouldn't let him. 

"You are not supposed to be here," Steve said, voice dropping into a whisper. Max rolled her eyes and Steve felt the anger break through the icy grip of fear, finally letting him round the counter to herd them into the corner. "Did you sneak her out, Mayfield?" 

"It's the mall, Harrington," she sniped, crossing her arms. "No one's looking for her here. She'll be fine." 

"Government agents and mad scientists have to shop, too," Steve said. "... Probably."

El leaned into Steve's side, pouting up at him. Which, honestly, was cheating, because El knew that Steve had never been able to say no to puppy dog eyes. When she finally let Dustin in on that trick, his life was officially over. He could already feel himself starting to waver. 

"We came to help," El said, wrapping her arms around Steve's waist. "Don't be mad." 

"I'm not…" Steve took a deep breath. "I'm not mad. I'm worried. There's a difference." 

Max was no longer paying attention. Instead, she was staring at the front counter, face drawn into a tight scowl. "El. That's her." 

Robin stood at the counter, obviously staring. Not at the girl who was glaring daggers into her, but El and Steve. It almost didn't register at first; Steve had gotten pretty used to constantly having Robin's attention on him when they worked together. As El calmly returned Robin's stare, however, Steve noticed that the usual anger on Robin's face wasn't present. She looked almost surprised, instead, with a heavy dose of confusion. 

Which made sense, he guessed, if she could tell El was a Wesen. 

He put his hand on El's back, a protective gesture that he hoped Robin would understand as a line in the sand. Her gaze didn't waver. 

"I want to talk to her," El said, voice strangely flat. 

"Absolutely not," Steve said. "She's almost an adult, and you can't fight back without… getting yourself in trouble." 

"Then can I…" 

"No," Steve sighed. "Is this really what you snuck out for? To bother my coworker with your magic powers?" 

"And shopping," Max said brightly. 

El didn't answer. When Steve looked down at her, her cheek still pressed into his uniform shirt, he watched the woge settle across her face. 

" Jane Hopper, " Steve hissed. Over the past weeks, he had gotten more than used to El's Wesen face, and had become as fond of it as he was her cherub-cheeked human form. That didn't mean he was an idiot, though; He knew an intimidation tactic when he saw one. 

He also saw Robin's face go absolutely white as the blood drained from her face. There was a moment where the girls' gazes held, Robin's hypnotized by the black pits of El's, and then Robin squeaked and scuttled into the back room. 

"Guys, you can't…" Steve began, but when Max and El both looked up at him with matching mischievous grins, he couldn't hold back his chuckles. "Thank you, but seriously. Never do this again."

El tilted her head up, chin digging into Steve's stomach, to meet his gaze. "No one is allowed to bully you." 

"That so?" Steve said, a fond smile stealing across his face.

Solemn, El responded, "Will says big brothers need to be protected sometimes, too." 

"Oh." Steve turned the loose embrace into a proper hug, suddenly overcome with affection. His whole life he'd been alone, and now he had two little siblings. How cool was that? He hummed, a hand smoothing down El's curls as she squeezed him tight. 

Max watched them with a look Steve couldn't decipher, the beginnings of a frown on her face. Maybe three little siblings, he corrected himself, and reached one hand out to her. 

"Ew," Max complained, but let herself be pulled into his side anyway. 

"I care about you both so much ," Steve said, voice low. "Which is why you're going home right now, before Hopper finds out you left and you get so grounded I can't see you again until I'm 40." 

"Dad is in Layton," El said, eyes twinkling. "We have hours ." 

"And tickets to Back to the Future," Max said, smug as anything. 

Steve sighed and pushed flyaway hairs back from Max's forehead. "Fine, but be careful. I saw the  boys here earlier. Try to get a ride home with Jonathan or Nance. And stick together ." 

"Okay, mom, " Max said, rolling her eyes as she pulled away. 

El giggled like it was the funniest joke she's ever heard. "Yeah, mom ." 

Steve shook his head and shooed them out, mumbling meaningless threats of narcking to Hopper. Once they were out of his sight, swallowed by the churn of the crowd, Steve felt himself deflate. The performance of big brother kept him afloat, chest filling with warmth, but when he was supposed to be just Steve…

He bit his lip and returned to the service counter, ignoring the unmistakable feeling of a gaze glued to his back. 

The next month flew by much the same as the first had, though if Max and El snuck out again, they knew better than to come to Scoops. Robin's ire, now two months deep, now inspired more melancholy in Steve than frustration. 

It was astonishingly easy to descend into self-pity, lately, and with every insult or smart remark Steve couldn't help but feel he'd lost something. Not just for himself, but for El and Dustin, too. Nothing concrete, but rather a bond, the chance of a connection to the greater Wesen community. A connection that should have already belonged to El and Dustin, denied to them by deception and fear. 

And now by the virtue of loving Steve. 

Steve tried not to dwell on it too much. He kept himself busy, between work and helping Hop at the cabin, and counted down the days until Dustin would be home. Until their tiny pack of three would be complete again. 

The day Steve woke up to a tiny beaver sticker on his calendar, not even Robin could knock the smile off his face. He could tell it bothered her, too, and for once the mumbling under breath only made him smile harder. 

His brother was coming home. 

Steve was on his break when he heard Dustin's voice, clear as a bell, for the first time in months. "Is he here?" 

Robin answered, clearly bored, but Steve paid no mind to what she had to say. He was already out of his seat by Dustin's final syllable. Steve sprinted out of the break room, skidding out of the door as his own speed overwhelmed him. And there he was, Dustin Henderson, a whole two inches taller than Steve had last seen him. 

His smile was blinding. 

"I can't believe you actually wear that," Dustin said, his smile only growing wider. 

"You little shit," Steve said, then leapt over the counter. He didn't put much thought into it, hadn't considered that he might not be able to clear it. He'd only thought– Oh, it would be so much faster to go over than around. And then he'd done it, shoes squeaking on the linoleum as he landed on the other side. 

"Wow, you must have really missed me," Dustin said, and then he said nothing at all, because Steve was scooping him into a hug. 

"I regret it immediately," Steve said, but he didn't let go. If anything, his own gentle teasing just made him squeeze harder, as if Dustin would take his teasing as truth and leave again. "When can I send you back?" 

Dustin slapped him on the back, his usual sign he wanted to be let down, now, please. "If you suffocate me I'm not going to make it until next time." 

"Sorry, man," Steve said. He lowered Dustin to the floor and then stepped back. Through all his sheepishness, he still didn't stop smiling; Not even the embarrassment could dim the sheer relief Steve felt having everyone he loved back in the same city limits. "How was camp?" 

"Who gives a shit? I can't believe they actually hired you!" 

"Fuck off, Henderson, seriously." 

And then, naturally, they fell into their handshake. It was a stupid, geeky tradition that Steve had been pulled into unwillingly, but he had to admit that half the moves were his idea. Even the lightsaber fight, which they had choreographed on Mrs. Henderson's couch after a hearty meal of Christmas leftovers. Steve thought the spilling of his guts was particularly inspired, even if Dustin often complained that disembowelment was both non-canon and unscientific. 

As if the little shit didn't giggle every time. 

"No, but seriously," Steve said as he recovered from his dramatic demise, "how was camp, man? Let me go on my break, you can tell me everything–" 

"Absolutely not," Robin said from the counter. Dustin turned to her, eyebrows raised, and Steve internally sighed. He was not looking forward to explaining all this to Dustin, who was protective on the best days and mocking on the worst. Whatever the kid's opinion would be, Steve was sure it would just make him feel worse. 

Before could even protest the double standard of Robin having already taken two breaks to his zero, Robin did the unthinkable– She woged at Dustin, human teeth already bared before they shifted into fangs. Steve was proud of how Dustin reacted, though, meeting Robin's gaze head-on even though Steve could see his black little nose quiver in terror. The instinctual response woge had settled over Dustin, his fear plain as day, but he didn't give a centimeter. 

Good, Steve thought, as he whirled on Robin. 

Robin's anger matched his own before Steve could even open his mouth, as if he were the one who had been unspeakably rude. As if he was the one making thinly veiled threats of violence in public. As if he were the one who kept woging in public, every time risking more and more exposure. It only made the rage burn brighter. 

"What the fuck is your problem, Buckley?" Steve could tell from the flicker of Robin's golden eyes that he was woged now, too, and he knew he was supposed to fight it. Part of him wanted to try. But for once, the human and Wesen instincts were in complete accordance. No version of Steve Harrington was going to let anything happen to Dustin. 

"I can't believe you," Robin said. There was an animalistic rumble underneath her voice, a vocalization that Steve's ears could only just make out. "The audacity of a Grimm knows no bounds, apparently." 

That word again. Whatever the fuck it meant. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Steve ignored the confused glances Dustin kept throwing his way, the hand clenched in the hem of his shirt. There was no way he was taking his eyes off an angry predator. 

"I thought it was really weird when that little 'biest was here, hanging off of you," Robin continued, "but everyone knows that they're all buddy-buddy with the Royals, so I figured it was business. But this? Preying on a little prey kid? That's low, Harrington, even for you." 

It was a stupid, cruel assumption to make. The kind of thing Tommy would have said in high school. The kind of thing Steve would have laughed at, a few years ago. Now, though, Steve's stomach dropped somewhere he couldn't feel it, leaving only a hollow pit behind. Was it by simple virtue of that word– Grimm, Steve thought with a daze –that made Robin so sure he was capable of something so foul? Or was it something he had done, once, when he had been so desperate for approval? He didn't think that even King Steve at his worst had been so horrible to earn him this. 

Steve stuttered, his breath caught in his throat. Dustin had no such trouble. 

"Hey!" Dustin said, his voice going squeaky with anger. "That's my best friend you're talking to." 

Robin looked at him with as much condescension as Carol Perkins had ever managed, her nose twitching with disgust. "You don't know what he's like, kid." 

Unfortunately for her, Dustin Henderson was the one child on planet earth who didn't deign to even acknowledge being treated like one. "I'm pretty sure I know him better than you . I don't know where you got your information, but Steve has saved my life multiple times, and–" 

"I really don't think she needs to know about all that," Steve said quickly. His heart was rabbiting in his chest just thinking about trying to explain away stories about demodogs and lab experiments to a girl who already hated his guts. 

"Do your parents know that you've been hanging out with a Grimm?" Robin asked, apparently ignoring the saving-Dustin's-life thing. Thank god. 

Dustin stiffened, probably because Mrs. Henderson absolutely would freak if she knew Steve was any kind of Wesen, much less one bad enough for all the shit Robin had been talking. "I don't know what a Grimm is," Dustin said, eventually, his voice oddly stilted. "But it doesn't matter. He's Steve ." 

For once, Robin looked as confused as Steve felt, like, 75% of the time. "You honestly don't know– Hold on." She snapped and turned to Steve. "You. When you said you didn't know what a Grimm was, you just weren't playing dumb?" 

"No," Steve said, and it came out a plea. "My parents never told me any of this shit, if they're even my parents–" And that felt wrong to say, bad to say, because Steve didn't know who he was without being Bradley Harrington's son first. "--and you're only, like, the third Wesen I've ever met." 

"You couldn't ask ?" 

Steve swallowed back the snarky answer, knowing what Robin was really asking. "What was I supposed to do, call my parents up like, 'Hi Mom and Dad, sorry to interrupt your very important meeting, I was wondering if you knew anything about us being monsters'? Does that sound like a conversation I should have on the phone?" It didn't help that Steve was pretty sure the government had been tracking his phone calls since 1983. 

"But…" Robin's eyes narrowed, shifting back to their human shape and color. "You started working here two months ago." 

Steve nodded, stomach churning. "Yeah." 

"So are you going to tell us what a Grimm is or not?" Dustin said. When Steve finally looked over at him, he still looked pissed, arms crossed and glaring, but Steve recognized that sparkle in his eyes. Little shit was ecstatic to be learning the lore behind Steve's whole deal, that was more than apparent. 

That made one of them. 

"I only know what my parents have told me," Robin said, slowly. She wouldn't look Steve in the eyes anymore, which wasn't exactly a great sign. Steve's throat contracted, forcing bile back down. "I've never met one in real life, before Harrington. I honestly wasn't sure they were still real. I thought they were… I don't know, stupid stories that parents tell to make their kids behave, you know? Like the boogie man." 

"But you knew Steve was one," Dustin said. Less of a question, more of an interrogation. Point out their own contradictions, wait for more information. Steve was pretty sure he'd picked that one up from watching Hopper grill Mike. 

"His eyes," Robin said. Her eyes darted up to meet Steve's gaze for only a moment before they fell back to the floor. "The stories all have them. Black mirrors that show you all the worst parts of yourself, every sin you've ever committed. It's supposed to be, like… Making you repent before, you know. They kill you." 

"So I'm a killer?" Steve said, his tongue numb in his mouth. 

Robin grimaced. "Kinda? They used to be… like knights, I think. In service to the Royals– Wait, do you know about the Seven Houses?" 

"The Royals," Steve muttered to himself, in a daze. 

"We'll go back to that," Dustin said, glancing at Steve from the corner of his eye. "What were you saying about knights?" 

"Right, so the Grimms worked as knights while the Seven Houses were establishing their claims in the Wesen world. It was basically a way for them to keep their Wesen subjects in line so that the royals could focus on human affairs. But then… Well, I don't really know what happened, but they stopped being knights and became…" Robin sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. "Vigilantes?" 

"Like Batman?" Dustin asked, disbelieving. 

"More like the Punisher." 

"Can we please talk in a language the person whose existence hinges on this conversation can understand?" Steve asked, his voice rising in volume with every word. 

"I don't know what you want me to say, Harrington," Robin said, her voice coming quicker than he had ever heard her speak before. "They kill people, okay? Sure, it's usually, like, Wesen who have killed humans before or whatever but there are stories of them just going to town on entire packs of predator species before. My dad's even told me of some groups of Grimm who kill Wesen on sight so they don't have the opportunity to commit crimes later. And it's like, do I really think the high school bully is a serial killer? No, not really, but it's really hard to externalize that when I have vivid memories of my mom telling me about how her great-great-great-great-grandmother's head got put on a spike outside the city walls for selling love potion to some stupid humans."

"Oh, that's– Sorry for your loss," Dustin said, automatically. 

Robin raised an eyebrow. "You know I didn't know her, right?" 

Steve heard neither of them through the rushing in his ears. Was it just him, or were the walls closer together than they had been five minutes ago? The floor felt malleable beneath his feet, like he was standing on top of water. Steve stumbled over to a table and sat gingerly, his hands shaking. 

He wasn't exactly sure how long had passed when Dustin came to him, a hand on his shoulder. 

"Steve?" he said, tentatively. "You okay?" Robin stood behind him, concern breaking through her careful nonchalance. 

"Hopper was wrong," he said, thickly. "I am a monster." 

"No–" Dustin began, but Robin cut him off with a scoff. 

"We're all kind of monsters, Harrington, it comes with the territory," she said with a sneer. "At least you still look human." 

"Yeah?" Steve said, his voice cracking. "How many people do you think Dustin's ancestors killed? Matter of fact, have you ever heard of a single Grimm that wasn't a killer?" Even though the question was mostly sarcastic, some part of him still hoped she would defy him, give him some proof that he wasn't meant to be a terrible person. His eyes watched her face twist in embarrassment. 

"Well… no, I haven't," Robin said, eyes darting towards Dustin. 

"Exactly," Steve said, nodding even as his shoulders deflated. "Exactly, exactly. I'm meant to… I'm meant to be a terrible person, and nothing I do��� Nothing I've ever done–" Steve took a deep breath, felt it rattle in his chest, heard it wheeze through the throat that was quickly closing around his rising panic. 

"Oh, you're–" Dustin shook his head, turning to Robin. "He's– Do you have a back room?" 

"Uh, yeah, behind the counter," Robin said, blinking. 

"Alright, help me get him back there." 

Things got a little hazy after that. Steve wasn't sure how they got him to the back room, although he had the vague impression of his arms looped over both their shoulders, off jerking away from Robin's touch with a pained noise. The next thing he knew, he was sitting in a chair in the back, Robin perched on the far counter, Dustin's hands on his shoulders. 

"Steve, can you hear me?" Dustin said, and from the lack of inflection in his voice, Steve had the inclination that it wasn't the first time he'd been asked. 

"Yeah," he croaked. 

"Good," Dustin said, relief flooding his face. "I think you're having another panic attack." 

Steve flushed with shame. He hadn't one of those in months, since the chill had finally faded from the air and every night stopped reminding him of junkyards and tunnels and blue Camaros. In comparison, this seemed a little pathetic, but even that small amount of logic couldn't shake the fact that his brain was still sending him signals of flee danger predator run . 

When Steve didn't answer, Dustin squeezed his shoulders. "Do you want to talk about it, or do you want us to leave?" 

"We are not leaving a Grimm whose brain is god knows where alone in the back room where there are weapons– " Robin began. 

"You are not helping," Dustin interrupted through gritted teeth.

"She's right," Steve rasped. "We have no idea what I might do. You've seen what I try to do when my instincts go haywire." 

"You haven't actually done anything!" Dustin said, a none too gentle reminder. His anger was palpable, and Steve thought distantly of Hopper, of how disappointed he would be. Steve was going to be sick. "Remember your theory? You said that you thought the mirrored eyes were more like an evolutionary protection, maybe–" 

"Maybe I was literally born a murderer to protect myself?" Steve asked, laughing as the first tear slipped down his cheek. "I was wrong, Dustin. It happens. All the fucking time, apparently, because I've spent the last two years wondering how to be a good person, when it's impossible." 

"That's not how it–" 

"I'm supposed to kill you, Dustin," Steve said, harshly. "You heard her. You and El should both be dead, and maybe one day you will be." 

Steve watched the stubbornness set into Dustin's face and felt his heart break. He's never really wanted to hurt someone. Not really. That was why he kept losing all those stupid fucking fights, why he let Tommy push him around. Steve wanted to survive, and he wanted to protect, but he's never looked someone in the eyes and wanted to hurt them. But he could feel it in his chest, all the fucking time– that same rage he'd first felt when Dustin woged in front of him. And no matter how much Steve didn't want it, he was sure that one day it would swallow him whole.

"I don't believe that," Dustin said, "not for a fucking second." 

"What about my parents, Dustin?" Steve asked, meeting Dustin's eyes. For the first time, he wished that people didn't see the worst of themselves in his eyes, but the worst of Steve. That would keep them safe, wouldn't it? If they could see into his chest, at the sharp and jagged things there? "They're gone for months at a time–" 

"They're doing business!" 

"And they're all over the country, sometimes in Europe or Asia, and what the fuck do you think they're doing, Dustin? Like actually. Because I haven't bought the business excuse in years, and I know you're smarter than me, so what else could it be? I thought they were partying, or cheating on each other, or even just doing some regular fucking crime, but no–" Steve sobbed, the noise being pulled out of his chest. "Apparently, they might be killing people. What does that make me ?" 

"It doesn't make you anything," Dustin said, jaw set. "Even if you're right, which you're not ." 

"So you're not afraid of what might happen if you're staying the night the next time they come home?" 

Dustin hesitated, and Steve knew he had him. It fucking hurt, every second of it. Felt like removing his own skin with a scalpel, slow and methodical and never-ending, but it had to be done. He had to get Dustin away from danger, and right now the most dangerous thing in Hawkins was him.

"Kid, can you give us a second?" Robin's voice cut through the air and Steve flinched, his entire body twitching as his gaze was ripped away from Dustin. 

Stepping away, Dustin rubbed at his nose in a move that Steve knew had been picked up from him. "Yeah, yeah, sure." He couldn't get out of the break room fast enough, the door swinging behind him. 

"That was fucked up," Robin said as she hopped down from the counter. 

"Wasn't this exactly what you wanted?" Steve said, frustration and resentment built up from the past two months bubbling in his chest. "Him away from the monster?" 

Robin hesitated for a moment, then continued her short walk to the chair across from Steve. As she sat, she said, "I never called you a monster." 

"No, just a serial killer and a beast and a thousand other things around 'monster'," Steve said, rolling his eyes. 

He had honestly expected her to rise to the bait. She was the exact kind that was the easiest to torment, emotions too big for her body and never afraid to speak her mind until it was already out of her mouth. Robin didn't speak this time, though, just looked at him for a long moment, eyes narrowed. 

Eventually, she sighed, and turned away from him. "I'm sorry." 

Steve scoffed, disbelieving. "Okay." 

"No, I am. I… didn't really think about what it might mean if you actually didn't know, and I had no idea that I was putting people in danger by not explaining," she said, her hands in fists on her legs. She still wouldn't look at him, and Steve felt his stomach twist further. He had to get out of here before he vomited on the linoleum. 

"Well, you figured it out, and now they're safe, so if you'll please excuse me–" 

"No," Robin said, stilling him with a glare. "I meant you, dingus." 

"... Dingus?" Steve repeated. It was… oddly juvenile, after all the things she'd called him. 

Robin flushed. "I don't actually think you're, like, a killer or anything. Especially since you obviously haven't killed anyone. I just thought…" Her eyes slid away from him again. "You know, with Barb last year…" 

Nausea hit Steve in the stomach and he had to bend over, pressing his face to the cool surface of the table, to keep himself from gagging. "You thought I killed Barb?" He hated how small his voice sounded, suddenly, nothing like the rage-fueled creature he felt like he was becoming. 

"Obviously I was being an idiot because killers don't fucking have panic attacks in the dark about being a killer," Robin said. Steve wasn't sure that was entirely true, but he got her point. "I mean, like I said before, I stopped believing that shit like two weeks in. If you were actually a serial killer, I would be, like, so dead right now." 

"I never wanted to hurt you," Steve said, tired. 

"I know," Robin said, frowning. "And that's why I'm saying, I was an asshole, and I'm sorry." 

Steve swallowed. "It's fine." 

"It's really not," Robin said. "I could tell it made you upset, and it gave me this sick little thrill to finally know what got to King Steve, you know? Like I finally had something over you. And it made me feel…" 

"Powerful?" Steve suggested when her words trailed off. 

"Yeah," Robin said, her face pale. 

"I get it," Steve said, shrugging. "Why do you think I was such an asshole in high school?" 

Robin gave him a small smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Well, I never wanted to be that kind of person. So… You know, just because you were born a Grimm doesn't mean you have to be like them." 

Looking away, Steve said nothing. He'd already had the suspicion there was something wrong with him, Robin had just confirmed it. Her taking it back hadn't really changed his mind. Robin seemed to get that, and she squirmed in her seat for a moment. 

"I never told you what I am, did I?" she said, softly.

"... No," Steve said, frowning. "I thought maybe some kind of weasel?" 

That made her laugh, shaking her head as she smiled down at her hands. "Yeah, I guess maybe I deserve that. No, I'm a– I'm a Fuchsbau. A fox." The smile began to slip from her face, fists unclenching and curling back into claws again and again as she spoke. "That's part of why I freaked out so hard when I first recognized you as a Grimm. We're a predator species, you know? But not one of the big guys, not scary enough that they leave us alone. We're just mean . And… and sneaky . And cruel." 

Steve watched her, unable to speak. He had seen a little of that from her, over the past few weeks, so he wasn't entirely sure he was justified in defending her own self-worth, but… even as she said it, something didn't feel right to Steve. Sure, she was dick to him, like, specifically, but Steve had never seen her speak a harsh word to anyone else they worked with. Robin was usually pretty bored with customers, yeah, but she was patient, too. 

And whatever harshness did exist in her, it certainly wasn't subtle .

"That's why my parents moved here, you know. Fuchsbau don't usually have packs, and so it's kinda just… you and a bunch of Wesen who expect you to rip them off at the first chance," Robin continued, "so they came here to try and start fresh. And I don't think they ever really fit into what a Fuchsbau is supposed to be, and most times I'm pretty sure I don't, either, but sometimes…." 

Robin shrugged. "Sometimes I'm afraid it's somewhere inside of me, just waiting to get out." 

Oh. 

This was one of those pep talks that made Steve squirm, the kind where teachers and coaches and counselors all promised Steve that they absolutely understood what he was going through. As if they could understand what he was feeling through the little he'd actually admitted, as if the simple act of relation was enough to soothe the ache in his chest. Knowing other people hurt didn't make him bleed any less, but… it didn't chafe to hear it from Robin, like it did with the dozens of adults before him. He wasn't sure she actually understood, but at least she was trying. At least she wasn't just assuming things. Not anymore, anyway. 

"It's not exactly the same thing," Robin said, when Steve didn't speak. "But I–" 

"No, no." Steve's voice was hoarse, and he cleared his throat. "Thanks. I think I needed to hear that. You're right, it's not exactly the same, but… But I think I might be able to fight this." 

"That's not exactly what I…" Robin said, then shook her head, standing. "Anyway, you should head home for the night." 

Steve blinked up at her. "I'm on schedule until closing." 

Shrugging, Robin said, "We're dead, and, no offense, but you're probably not going to be much help tonight, anyway. I'll cover you. Just… get some sleep, Harrington." 

It was part of an apology Steve still wasn't convinced he completely deserved, but he wasn't in the position to refuse favors. "... Thanks." 

They walked into the lobby together, Steve's skin crawling with the oddity of feeling Robin standing with him and not just by him. He was grateful, but there was a voice in his head whispering that it would all end one day, and he would find her claws in his throat. 

He tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about how Dustin barely spoke as Steve drove him home, only to nearly tackle him in a hug before he got out of the car. Tried not to think about how he couldn't pop in to say hi to Mrs. Henderson because she would think– she would know –that he was a monster. Tried not to think much at all, really. 

Steve found himself driving to the cabin on muscle memory alone, and didn't even notice the direction he was driving until the streetlights gave way to the shadowy cradle of the woods. He parked in the grass, climbed the steps stiffly, paused between every movement as Steve ruminated on the effort it took. 

Hopper didn't look up from the stove as Steve came in. It was chili night, a tradition built around one of the few dishes Hopper had achieved consistency in. Maybe that was why Steve had come here– Something in him knew he was expected here. People were waiting for him. He was wanted. 

Steve felt tears well in his eyes. 

"Steve?" Hopper clicked off the gas on the stove, turning. "Did… did work go okay?" 

The dam broke. Everything came pouring out, the tears, the half-explanations Robin had given him, the terrible truths he now was sure of. Everything poured out of Steve at once, until he was sitting on the couch, gasping for air. Hopper watched him through all of it, never saying a word. His face gave nothing away, and that only made it worse– Steve kept talking and talking, trying to find the words that would make Hopper feel something. Anything. 

Eventually, the terror took over his brain and he fell silent, but his throat still clenched around unformed words. 

"I've told you before, I'm not afraid of you, kid," Hopper said, slowly, but before Steve could protest, he continued, "but you have a right to be concerned about it, you know, in general. It might be you, it might not. But if there's some kind of Wesen vigilante, after everything that's happened in Hawkins in the past two years, one of them's bound to cause trouble sometime." 

"So we just– We gotta figure out how to take one down," Steve said, his hands shaking. 

"I figure shooting 'em will work just as well as it would on anyone else," Hopper said, dryly, "but I don't think you have to worry about that." 

"No, no, you can–" Steve flushed at the sudden sharpness on Hopper's face. "Look, if I'm actively hurting people, I'm too far gone, anyway. Have Nancy do it. She'll get a kick out of it." 

Hopper rolled his eyes, then sighed, rubbing at his face with one large hand. "And what if it's your parents, Steve?" 

That threw him. Because Steve had considered that his parents were the kind of Grimms Steve was terrified to become, yeah. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Steve had always been anxious around them, for no reason he could really put a name to. They weren't bad parents, exactly, just a little absent. They had never denied him anything, never hit him, never even really yelled. But Steve still flinched every time his father raised a hand to clasp him on the shoulder. Steve still shied away from his mother's gaze. 

Steve had always thought it had something to do with all the repression, the constant striving to live up to the Harrington name. That had been enough of an answer for him. Besides, the older he got, the less he had to deal with it, so what did it even matter? 

The idea that it might be something more sinister still hadn't prepared him for the concept of actually doing something about it, though. Sure, he had proposed the idea of them being dangerous to Dustin, but it wasn't like they were killing people and burying them behind the Hawkins Lab. 

"Do you think they already are?" Steve asked, face twisting. "There were genetic experiments on Wesen in the town they lived in. How did they not–" 

Hopper shrugged. "I don't know for sure, kid. Speaking as a cop, if their thought process is anything like mine, they probably don't pursue leads they consider out of their jurisdiction, and it wasn't like the lab was advertising. Will was the first Hawkins kid to go missing, remember?" 

"They were out of town when he disappeared," Steve said, relief evident. "They didn't get home until he was back." 

"I can't promise you anything, Steve, and you're probably gonna want to have it out with them yourself. But your parents have been in and out of Hawkins for two decades now, and it's not exactly like we've got stacks and stacks of cold case murders rotting away at the station. If they're causing problems, it's not here," Hopper said. 

Steve leaned back against the couch cushions, finally letting himself relax. "We just have to make sure they don't find out about El." 

"There you go," Hopper said, reaching out to slap Steve on the knee. It would have felt condescending from anyone else, but it was the most physical affection that Steve had ever seen Hopper give anyone besides Joyce and El. "Feel better with a task, right?" 

"Yeah, actually," Steve admitted. It did feel good, even though it was a small, vague goal that honestly Steve kinda hoped he never had to worry about. Still, having something clear in his head to strive for made him feel solid, grounded, and he felt like an actual person again for the first time all day. 

If Grimms were as bad as Robin made them out to be, then someone needed to protect Hawkins from them. Steve could be that person, if he needed to be, even if the threat was just his own reflection. 

[Next Chapter]

---

taglist: @i-write-stories-not-sins-bitch

[disgustingtwitches]

MDNI

Working at a restaurant with 141! (pt. 3)

"All of us under one roof? Have you lost the plot?"

Gaz snorts, all of you sitting at the bar. You shake your head. The thought alone makes you dizzy.

"Just me and you is hectic enough."

Gaz stares at Soap. John laughs, sipping his scotch. You think for a moment before taking your shot. Wait a fucking second. You joke about how they have decided to make your flat nothing short of a base, and if they're gonna be at your place more than theirs they should at least pay some of your bills. They freeze. Johnny nearly jumps for joy, grabbing your face and kissing you,

"Smart fuckin girl. 'N' if we're paying 'er bills, might as weel move in aye?"

That is not what you meant.

"Who knows, maybe it'll stop them from trying to drag 'er in the walk-in."

John shrugs. They cannot be entertaining this bullshit.

"Doubt it."

Simon shoots back his glass. There's a pause. They look at each other. Oh my God they are entertaining this bullshit.

"I'll think about it."

Price finishes his drink. They talk like you're not even there. You're horrified. Four men and you. One apartment. Not just any men, them. Maybe this is all some sick joke.

"You can always say no."

Simon kisses you before you hop out his car. You're not sure if you believe that. Your phone buzzed in the middle of the night, it's the group chat. Soap sends a link to a three bedroom flat,

Thoughts?

Three dots pop up.

Ok.

Simon replies. That's the only they blessing needed to move forward.

Hectic does not describe the move-in process, there are arguments on who's furniture gets moved in, who sleeps where, who gets to use which bathroom. Eventually there was a vote held (not that it mattered, John always had final say).

Anything big enough to accommodate the five of you was moved in. There would be a bed rotation, making sure no one slept with Ghost and Soap at the same time (and if everyone got tired of their shit, there's three beds for a reason.) Gaz and Soap shared a bathroom upstairs, you shared the one downstairs with Ghost and Price (this made sure you and Kyle had enough space for both your skincare products.)

You barely wore your own clothes anymore; with a closet full of clothes that were comfy and looked good on you, why bother? All your love languages included physical touch, so at any given moment, someone was touching somebody in the house. Lots of shared showers to "save water". Simon mostly cooks with the occasional help of you or Johnny. Sunday roast meant the kitchen was off limits for everyone except Simon, God help anyone who even tries to step foot in his territory.

Holidays are chaotic, always loud with a lot of drinking. And sex. Your first Christmas together was particularly memorable. Of course everyone got gifts that they treasured, including you. But you didn't know what to get Simon. Of course he was the type to say he didn't want anything but, that wasn't right. He opened his gift from you, he stared at it, said a simple thank you and slid it into his pocket. There's a game of poker being played in the living room after gifts are opened. Simon leaves to the bedroom,

"M tired."

Everyone else says goodnight, too enraptured by the game. While there's an argument about Johnny's shuffling, you walk to the bedroom. There he is, cranking the little handle on the wooden music box you gave him; it played Danny boy, wasn't bigger than the palm of your hand, and had an engraving on the inside lid.

"It's the words on the first hoodie you gave me."

"Mhm. Didn't have to get me anything."

He says, still turning the handle. Avoiding eye contact. You sit next to him.

"Don't know if you know how much you mean to me, promise I'll show you though."

His voice the softest you've ever heard. He tucks the box back into his pocket. A quick kiss to your forehead before walking back to the living room with you. This was one of the many holidays Simon didn't have to spend alone anymore.

[carbondioxidewater]

Make A Move (Pt. 5)

footballplayer!Sukuna x fem!reader

genre: slow-burn romance, college au, fluff, angst

warnings: none so far

word: 3.1

(-> Pt. 1) (-> Pt. 2) (-> Pt. 3) (-> Pt. 4) (-> masterlist)

On sunday morning, you woke up early, even though you hadn't been sleeping much. The events of the previous day came back to you one after the other. First, you thought about the game and Sukuna's impressive skills in it.

You reflected on the motorcycle ride with him and how he drove you to the Rainbow Bridge just so you could see the city at night. That must've been one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for you. You turned over on your side in your bed, smiling.

And then you remembered how you almost kissed and how he treated you completely different later at the party than when you were alone. A feeling of embarrassment washed over you again at the thought that everyone present had noticed Sukuna not wanting to kiss you. Not that you were dying to feel his soft lips, probably salty from the sweat - no, that wasn't it. Because even if that were the case, it was more the fact of how and why he rejected you that was bothering you.

But asking him was out of the question. After all, you still had enough pride left to not give him that pleasure. After all, he wasn't obliged to kiss you. You shouldn't let anything show, otherwise he might get the wrong idea. And with that mentality, you went to your first lecture on Monday.

After the lecture, you entered the cafeteria. Today they cooked vegetarian pasta again and it always tasted delicious. You grabbed a plate, had it filled up, and walked over to the where the silverware was. As you were putting down your tray, someone spoke up directly from the side.

"I got your message, by the way."

You weren't startled this time.

"Did you know that people usually greet each other before starting a conversation?" you expressed calmly and Sukuna burst out laughing. You always managed to entertain him.

"Sorry, hi princess."

"Hi." you said quietly, a gloomy feeling at the nickname. "What message?"

"Yuji told me he should wish me 'good luck' from you."

"So?"

"Well, I certainly was lucky, after all you really came. But..." he didn't finish his sentence, obviously waiting for your reaction. Was he really trying to flirt with you again? This man was difficult.

You took your tray and moved towards one of the tables. Of course Sukuna followed you and sat down on the opposite chair. You sighed.

"But what, Sukuna? What do you want?" you asked in annoyance.

"You should give me your number. I couldn't even make sure you got home safe on Saturday." he flashed his shiny white teeth at you.

"Why do you care? I went home with my friends." you said, but not snippy, more in a neutral tone.

"I know that." he simply returned and didn't seem to have anything else to say. He just looked at you.

Seriously? He doesn't mention what happened at all? Well, if he can act like nothing happened, so can you.

"I don't like being watched while eating." you said bluntly and Sukuna couldn't help but smile.

"Why, are your table manners so terrible?" he countered. You puffed.

"Aren't you hungry?" you then asked, whereupon he told you that he had already eaten.

"I saw you and with you the opportunity."

"The opportunity for what?" you then questioned.

"Asking you for your number."

"You have my address already, that should be enough."

You would not let him get any closer to you.

He chuckled and you ate the first forkful of pasta.

"So you don't want to give it to me?" he carried on.

"Obviously not."

"Okay, I'll find a way. Oh, and enjoy your meal." he winked at you. And then he stood up and left the table.

Finally you could eat in peace.

You didn't see him for the next few days, which gave you enough time to concentrate on your studies. It was thursday evening and you had to give in your assignment for neurolinguistics, the due date was today. You quickly finished explaining how the priming effect works, when suddenly Utahime entered your room with the mail in her hand.

"Oh, are you finished for today already?" you asked, referring to her job, to which she nodded.

"But look at this!" she said, astonished, and waved a letter in front of your face.

The letter was addressed to you, but had no sender. Strange.

You opened it and the content was a single sheet of paper with a few lines written on it.

"You're right, your address is enough. If you don't want to give me your number, I'll have to try this way ;)"

Your face immediately heated up, you never thought he would go out of his way like that. But what was he doing that for? What was his ulterior motive?

Utahime saw your shocked face and read the letter. Then she laughed.

"Wow, he's really trying. Have you eaten yet? Should we order something?"

And together, you ended the evening with a juicy pizza.

But on the next day, you found a note in your locker too. You opened the folded paper and it said:

"Meet me under the bleachers"

Oh God, your heart was pounding. Just what was he thinking?

You decided to meet him at the stands to ask him to stop this whole thing. Even though you were really flattered by the attention, it still hurt your ego that he apparently thought he could win you over like that. Was it working? Maybe a little, but he didn't have to know that. And you definitely wouldn't fall for it any further.

When you finally got there, there was no sign of him. You asked the few players practicing on the field about him.

"Sukuna? No, he's not here. As far as I know he has a philosophy class right now."

Philosophy? You didn't even know that was his second subject. But that explained why he was around you so often, because philosophy and linguistics were taught in the same building. But why did he send you here then? Nothing he did made sense and you were slowly getting fed up with this chaos.

You were just on your way back into the building when all of a sudden, you bumped into someone's back on accident. He turned around and to your surprise, it was the menace himself.

"Careful." he laughed lightly. But you were a bit pissed at him right now and just walked past him. He walked after you.

"Hey, where are you going?" he yelled.

"I don't feel like playing your games. Find someone else to annoy." you said without even looking at him.

He grabbed your wrist and brought you to a stop. When you tried to escape his grip, he blocked you with his arm and caged you in.

"Calm down. What's going on with you?" Sukuna exclaimed.

"No, what's going on with you? Why do you leave those notes in my locker, arrange a meeting and then don't come?"

"That's what it is about?" He chuckled. "Now do you see how complicated it is? If I had your number, you would have known when I wrote the message."

You were flabbergasted, was that really his plan behind all this? To show you the need to exchange numbers?

"Or you can just write the time next time!" you spat out.

"Next time? So you like when I leave you letters?" he smirked and upset you with his presumptuous words.

"Don't twist my words..." you pouted and looked to the side. He let you go now, you had calmed down.

"Then what do you say: We have another game next Friday. If we win, I get your number, if we lose... well, you can choose."

"Why do you want my number so badly?" you probed.

"Because I like you. You're fun to be around."

This confession knocked you off balance, but you swallowed your speechlessness. In the end, two could play that game.

"Okay, if you lose, you'll never ask me for my number again." You smiled mischievously and he followed suit, tilting your chin upwards with his big hand before responding.

"It's settled then."

You stayed at Shoko's for the weekend, since you wanted to binge-watch the new season of your series. Utahime didn't like the show and had to work anyway, so it was just the two of you tonight.

After a few episodes, however, it turned into a deep talk session. You told Shoko everything that had happened with Sukuna so far and she reprimanded you for getting into this 'pact'.

"His team will win either way, the only ones who would have a chance against them are the UOT." she explained and you thought about her words.

UOT? Of course! They say their quarterback is on par with Sukuna. They are the biggest rivals!

"Are they gonna play against each other too?" you wondered.

"I think not until the very end of the season. That's the most important game after all."

The end of the season... So in about 8 weeks. But wait a minute...

"How do you even know that?" you stared at Shoko in amazement and she looked up at the ceiling.

"A few of my high school friends are on this team. Utahime knows them too."

"What? Why am I only finding out about this now?" you shifted in your seat, grinning at her. She shrugged.

"I never thought it was important. After all, you haven't been interested in football until now."

You nodded. Then your phone rang. You took it from the coffee table and saw that it was Utahime, but before you could even pick up, she already hung up.

"Who was it?" Shoko interrupted and you told her, but you two didn't think much of it.

You thought that maybe she called you on accident, so you sent her a message asking "are you okay?" and checked her location. She was still at the hotel. A few minutes later, she finally replied and confirmed that everything was indeed alright.

"Okay she just replied, she's fine. But next time we're all together, you two have to tell me more about your mysterious old friends." You waggled your eyebrows and Shoko laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, even if there's not really much to tell."

And then you were back in the stadium, this time, on your campus. It was a home game and the people on the stands were louder than at the last game, but this time you secured yourselves better seats. You were sitting in the front row now!

At the opening, all of the players walked onto the field and turned to the audience. Sukuna waved at the big crowd, his eyes moving from left to right, and finally rested his gaze on you, a small smirk spreading on his face. And then it was kickoff. As always, Sukuna's leading skills ensured a successful first half. It was clear that the team had been a unit for a long time, as well as they complemented each other.

After the first half, there was the usual break and you used it to quickly go use the bathroom. The line was long though, of course you weren't the only one who had to go after such a long time. But luckily, it quickly emptied and after you were done, the break was almost over. While the water was tingling on your hand, you heard a few girls coming in, chattering. You recognized the cheerleaders, one of them was the blonde girl named Manami.

"So, how are things going with Sukuna now?" asked Manami's friend.

At the mention of that name, you became very wary. You felt like you were eavesdropping, but you couldn't turn off your hearing sense after all.

"I think he likes me." Manami said the words dreamily, but you couldn't listen to their conversation any longer, because if you stayed at the sink for too long, you would attract their attention. You dried your hands and then went out the door.

What was their true relationship to each other? She thinks he likes her? What is he doing for her to think that? You had a weird gut feeling on your way back and when your friends noticed, they asked if you were okay. You lied to them and, thank goodness, that feeling disappeared as soon as the second half of the game started again.

And as Shoko predicted, your team won. The others weren't bad by any means, but Sukuna isn't feared in the world of football for nothing. He once again secured a great victory and after the game ended, his teammates all ran towards him to celebrate.

They picked him up and carried him to the front of the stands while you and the others clapped for their success. Many shouted his name, others shouted for the other players, but his grinning, smug look was only on you.

His comrades let him down and the crowd slowly started to leave the stands as Sukuna continued to keep you under his spell. He stepped on a bench in front of it, leaned his elbow on the railing of ​​the stands and pulled out a small piece of paper from his pocket. He pressed it between his fingers proudly and held it in front of his slightly tilted face, a mischievous smile on it, so that you could make out the numbers on the note.

You narrowed your eyes in an attempt to see more clearly and as the digits became visible, you recognized them as your phone number.

How did he-

You were about to ask him that, but Aoi intervened, jumping onto the bench and putting his arm over Sukuna's shoulder, happily dragging him into the locker room.

When you finally came down the stairs, you decided to wait for Sukuna outside. Your friends were talking about something you didn't pay attention to.

Then the door opened and you walked towards Sukuna expectantly, but he was stopped by Manami at that moment. You saw her putting her arm around his and how she walked to the parking lot with him. That made you abandon the whole plan and you went back home with your girls.

When you got there, you got a message from an unknown number.

unknown number: not even curious how I got your number?

That was definitely Sukuna. Your mood immediately worsened. You just couldn't figure him out. You threw your phone on the bed and made yourself something to eat. Cooking should calm you down, so you put on some music and started chopping. It took half an hour before you got the motivation to text him back.

you: aren't you out with the cheerleader right now?

You sent the message and threw your phone away from you again. Why had you been so direct? You were about to take your phone to delete the message, but Sukuna had already replied.

unknown number: oh you're curious about something else I see. u stalking me? ;)

you: no, I just saw you two together after the game. hope you had fun.

unknown number: yea sure had.

you: good for you.

Somehow the message came across as more bitter than you anticipated, and Sukuna also noticed the harsh tone.

unknown number: wait, you weren't seriously thinking I was after you, were you?

you: of course not? I was being genuine.

You were not. He typed.

unknown number: well then, that's good.

And then you left him on read. Asshole.

The whole weekend was spent trying to figure Sukuna out, but as much as you tried, his motives remained unclear to you. You even started listing different possibilities together with Shoko and Utahime, but for every idea there was something in Sukuna's behaviour that didn't add up. You set up three theories:

REASON NUMBER ONE: He really just likes you platonically. But then why did he flirt with you sometimes, why did he almost kiss you, why did he put in such an effort into getting your number?

REASON NUMBER TWO: He was just trying to get into your pants. Maybe there was something going on with this girl, Manami, and he didn't want her to find out. But then why did he never make a move on you like that? Apart from the teasing, he's never been disrespectful or dirty towards you.

And, this was the most unlikely one, but,

REASON NUMBER THREE: He had a serious interest in you. But then, why wouldn't he just be straight forward? Why was this girl all over him at all times? And why didn't he do something against it? Or was he keeping the both of you as mere options?

Whatever it was, it was getting on your nerves. And you decided you wanted to make clear to him that the both of you should either be friends or nothing.

You were just taking a few things out of your locker when there was a sudden bang next to you. You took the last book out of it and then looked at the source.

"Boo." Sukuna called out, pressing his lower arm against the locker. He was wearing a simple white sweater with the sleeves rolled up, but it was so tight that it highlighted his broad, big chest. His hand was clenched into a fist, which meant that you had a perfect view of his flexing muscles as well.

You gulped and tried not to let on how attractive that was to you, because you couldn't afford to seem weak in front of him.

"Wow I'm so scared." you commented and closed your locker.

"I bet you are, now that I've got your number." he claimed. Then you faced him.

"Where did you get it from anyway?" you wondered. You still didn't have a single clue.

He smiled wickedly again.

"Why don't you ask your friend Utahime?"

Safe to say that's not what you expected coming out of his mouth.

"You're lying." you doubted.

"Why would I do that?" he replied with a foxy grin.

You took a deep breath.

"Alright, I'm gonna ask her later. But can we stop with the constant banter, it's giving me a headache."

"Oh, why's that?" he came closer, but you pushed him away again.

"It was fun in the beginning, but it's getting annoying now. Let's just be normal friends." you proposed.

"Friends?" Sukuna raised an eyebrow gently, considering your words and quirking a small smile. "You wanna befriend me?" he seemed oddly delighted about that. You didn't know if he was poking fun at you or not.

"Yeah, isn't that what you wanted?" you inquired, dumbfounded by his reaction.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. Alright, let's be friends then." he stared down at you, a gleam in his eyes that you couldn't make out.

Yes, it would definitely be better to be friends. That way, he wouldn't constantly irritate you with his mixed signals.

And with that, your friendship with the star player began.

RAHHH he's so confusing!!! Wdym you send me LETTERS to contact me?!?!?! And then say you're not after me? ARGHHH

What do you think his intentions are? As always, reblogs and comments are so so appreciated! I wanna hear your thoughts about it so bad! <3

taglist: @miakxn @aureliaborea @nonamevenus @silkija @sad-darksoul @joh-ahae @mysteriaqueen @rebirthbunbun @inflatabledinosaurs19

[someonegoood]

MY WHOLE LIFE pt. 2 ✫ mason mount

part 1, part 2, final part.

in which life does not go on after Mason breaks your heart over and over again. (brother’s best friends troop).

CONTAINS: brother’s best friend troop, angst, some smut (not really explicit) & fluff ! age gap, arguments...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: here's part 2 ! Mason made his first goal for United and I'm emotional 💞 I'll do part 3 later

taglist: @dreamingofautopia @xjval @sunflower-tia @sad-fridge2323 @girlidekanymore @borbolwra3

Chelsea added to their story.

Your phone notified you, immediately dampening your mood. Everything was related to him.

It’s been two months since Mason shattered your heart after that nightmare of a night. The funny thing is that a part of you didn’t hate him, a part of you that still loved him existed. 

You had waited for him to text you to ask how you were and if you were free to hang out. And by the time you realized that he wasn’t going to, it was too late… too awkward for you to ask as well. So, both of you had resorted to ignorance and hostility. 

Life eventually went on, even though you had cut one of the most important people out of your life. And you’d see yourself by night, in your dreams. All these faces in the crowded city of London, and for some reason, you’d still try to find his. Mason was no longer yours.

Although he never was.

The first time Mason saw you after that night was a couple of months later, at a family lunch. The two families —Mounts and yours—had united in your family's garden for a little lunch to catch up on life. You had turned twenty and Lyon was old news. 

But Mason’s eyes were stuck on your body as he watched you sit between his sister and your brother just before him. Sipping from a glass of wine that you most likely didn’t like, he glanced at you.

Your brother had brought his new girlfriend with him and even though you were still as close as ever, his attention was on the pretty blonde talking to your nanny.

Mason had spent so much of his life avoiding you, but after the night of the party, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. Although he just couldn’t. 

—Dear, will you serve me a little piece of that cake? —Your mother had her plate in her hand, waiting for Mason to react. It took him about five seconds to come out of his trance and then he served her what she had ordered.

He was too busy thinking about you.

—So, Mason… when is your next match? Your dad told me you were playing for England. —Your mom tried to lighten up the mood since you were not bickering with Mason as you were on other occasions. 

Mason smiled up while you looked at him and caught a glimpse of his beautiful Cheshire cat smile.

—I’m playing next week, on Sunday… —He looked around at everyone and proceeded. —You are all invited, of course. 

After an hour or two, everyone stood up, scattering around the decorated garden. Mason grabbed his phone from the table and headed to the kitchen in search of a beer.

In the background, the voices of the two families blurred together as you finished washing your plate. Both Mount sisters were busy playing card games with their mother and your brother was having a talk about politics, which you were not at all interested in. You had no one to talk to.

Suddenly, you feel someone behind you trying to open the refrigerator. That bloody refrigerator, which, being so old, could not be opened correctly. You turned around, not expecting to see Mason looking at you.

You headed to the refrigerator to open it, so Mason moved from where he was previously standing, leaning on the kitchen counter. You gave the refrigerator a little kick and it opened.

—Thanks… —He said grabbing the beer, the tension being palpable in the air. After a long pause, you continued:

—How are you? —you asked, he could feel your eyes staring into his side profile, but he stared at the sun setting over the British landscape.

—I’m alright.

Scoring some scarce points with Chelsea has become almost impossible under a year ago now, and you really felt sorry for him, knowing everything he and his team put in.

—How are you holding up? —you stood next to him, nudging his shoulder with yours, before looking down at the floor. You felt the look of pity that Mason was giving you, but you tried to ignore it.

—Thank you, really. 

—Mase...

He looked in your eyes this time, he looked so sad, so broken. So desperate for a hug. You didn’t pressure him to answer your question, instead, you gently placed your head on his shoulder looking along the garden in silence.

—It will be alright, you know. —He hummed, knowing you were still hurt because of what he had said.

—I know. —You whispered back. —And don't worry much about scoring, in the least expected moments your shot is the one that serves the most.

He hated how much you believed him because at that moment he felt like the six-year-old boy with dreams bigger than the world itself, who thought everything was possible. 

Mason looked down at you, the smile on his lips was enough to melt your heart, and threw his head back in a laugh. 

—I don't think I’m ever getting rid of you.

Now it was your turn to laugh. After all the laughing he noticed how your eyes shifted from his own to his lips, and then he remembered why he was avoiding you in the first place. He did a face.

—I know, I know. —You said with a sad look on your face.

—You know I’m too old for you, right? —Mason whispered as he leaned his forehead on yours.

—I’m in it for the long game, Mount.

It felt like your heart was twisting and stuttering, sometimes beating too quickly that you were afraid it was going to push you over the edge. You wanted him to notice, to do something to fix it. 

Time went on flying, the last few days being hectic. It was already Sunday and today Mason was playing with England and obviously, you were more than proud. He had invited your brother —his best friend—, you and your family to watch him from the special box for family and friends.

The cold air hits your face as soon as you enter the box with your family. Excited, you see Debbie and Tony, and their children already seated. You were so nervous that your hands were even sweating.

You sit next to Stacey, Mason's older sister. She gives you a smile.

—Nervous about the game? —she asks.

—A bit, yes... —you say as you settle down, your eyes scanning the pitch, looking for him. For Mason. 

—This should be an easy game, England has a better team.

—You never know. —you reply. You were almost freezing, you only had the basic England t-shirt on.

Stacey noticed that you were shivering from the cold and decided to take off the sweatshirt she had tied around her shoulders. She put it on your lap and smiled.

—Put it on, otherwise, you'll freeze to death here. —she said, laughing.

—I'm... —You said about to deny it. For a second, you thought about the cold that you would catch without the sweatshirt, so you decided to take it. —Oh, never mind.

The sweatshirt was white and had his number and surname printed on the front, in a blue font. This made you remember the uncountable times when you stole Mason's sweatshirts just to have his number on you.

Stacey, without you seeing, grabbed her phone and texted his brother: "Just wanted to say that she's here and she's got your name on her sweatshirt. Good luck! We're all rooting for you. And don't worry, she'll wait for you."

All of a sudden, Summer, Mason's niece, came up to you asking if she could sit in your lap to have a better look at the pitch. It was no secret that Summer enjoyed seeing you, as she had grown up seeing your brother and you in the Mount household.

—Look over there, Summer! There is your uncle. —said Stacey, and both Summer and you looked over to where the players were entering the enormous pitch. There he was, beautiful as always.

The whistle was blown and the match started. Everyone was immersed in the excitement of the box, watching the match carefully. The atmosphere was electric, and each second increased the tension.

—Yes! —You screamed when Mason's friend, Declan, scored the opening goal, feeling your heart beat against your chest rapidly. Summer looked up at you with wide eyes, before she started giggling. You smiled and leaned down to where she was and kissed her on the forehead.

The second half started and your eyes only followed Mason running up and down the pitch. Only one goal was scored in the whole 45 minutes of the first half, that being Declan's goal.

Abruptly, Stones stole the ball from a player on the opposing team. He ran alone, jumped over some defenders and, feinting, the ball passed to Henderson on the right side. He analyzed the position of the players spread around the pitch before passing it to Foden, who was almost close to the goal.

He passed it to Mason and he, avoiding the players, aimed and kicked with all his strength.

The world went silent for a moment. He had scored.

After realizing that he had scored a goal, Mason ran to the end of the field, right where you were. The atmosphere was pure shouting, people jumping and celebrating but you only had eyes for Mason.

He looked towards the box looking for those who truly love him and just at that precise moment, you connected glances. With a shaky breath, you stood up from your seat and waved to him, also trying to hold Summer up with your other arm.

Mason's heart melted when he saw that scene and many things went through his head: he couldn't believe he had scored a goal after so long and he also couldn't believe how beautiful you looked with his niece in your arms.

In celebration, he pointed to both of you and you could only sigh in love. The game ended with a great performance from Mason and a win for England.

As soon as he stepped into the box, he scanned the room for you, but Summer caught him off guard.

—Uncle Mase! —she ran toward him and he picked her up, planting a kiss on her cheek while she wrapped her small arms around his neck.

—My favourite person! —His eyes fell on you and he didn't know if it was his imagination or the fact that he hadn't seen you in days, but you looked prettier than usual.

You were standing at the back, watching Mason greet his family. You felt shy and awkward, which made you hate the feeling even more. All you wanted was love from him and for that, you haven't slept well in the days after the family lunch with the Mount's.

—I played well, all thanks to you. —He kissed her head and his niece giggled. The little girl ran toward her mother and then closed the door, leaving you and Mason all alone. Your family had congratulated Mason before and told you they were waiting outside.

—How have you been? —His voice was gentle like he was afraid to say something.

—Mason! —you laughed. —You just scored a tremendous goal for England and you ask me how am I? Sometimes I don't understand you.

—Alright, alright. You have a point! —he laughed, definitely not missing those nervous butterflies in his stomach. He felt like a little boy.

His gaze searched yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. He scratched the back of his neck and then looked at your sweatshirt with his surname and number.

His number looked very good on you, he thought.

He gazed at your lips and he came dangerously close to you. You stepped back, hitting the table. Mason was looking straight into your eyes when he suddenly grabbed you by the waist and sat you on the table. You let out a little squeal. The air was thick with tension, and all you craved was to pull him close and kiss him passionately.

—We-we should go. —you said, clearing your throat. —Your family is waiting.

Quickly, Mason grabbed your wrist.

—Mase... You don’t have feelings. You don’t have a heart.

Now he’s frowning as he tries to unravel your words. His breath hitches.

—I feel things… —your heart twirls with the way his voice sounds. You had always loved his voice. How croaky it was. But you never imagined that it would turn your entire world upside down to hear him say that.

Pushing his hand down, you look back, weak and concerned. He worries you might have suddenly regretted all of this. That you would walk away and never want to talk to him ever again.

What he didn't know is that he's everything you were imagining those long nights… he had never kissed you, not even touched you.

—It’s okay if you want to stop- —he said, while you slid your hands under his t-shirt. Running up and down your hands through his lower torso, you felt his abs contract.

—Mount, I'm certain that I'm okay. —you said, giggling. He smirked. Your core grows tighter with his expressions, now holding onto his broad shoulders.

Unexpectedly, you both heard from behind the closed door someone shout: —Mate, are you there? The party starts at ten, hurry!

Fuck. That was your brother.

Mason had completely forgotten about the party in honour of their win. How the fuck was he getting out of that room with a hard-on? He had to calm himself.

You, on the other side, felt your heart falls into pieces. You thought about how long you had waited for this exact moment, every time you gave your endless hope all you ended up doing was bleeding. And this time, not only he was about to leave you alone but he was going to leave you turned on.

—I'm-I'm sorry... —he said, exiting quickly from the room.

After that match, you only heard from Mason through your brother. He had told you that after the match, at the party, Mason had rejected every girl who appeared to flirt with him.

Apparently, you've had an effect on him.

Mason hated how his heartbeat boomed in his ear when he saw you standing in his parents' house, with a blue shirt that had printed out the number 19 on the back, hugging your figure. 

You had blossomed into a beautiful young woman, you had for sure gone through puberty. He didn’t like to stare but he found it hard not to sometimes. Especially on family boat trips when you would wear a bikini in front of him.

—So, we're leaving after lunch. Do you want to meet at the stadium or at home?

You took a minute to understand. —What?

—The game, remember? We're having lunch here and then driving up to watch the game. —Said your brother, while getting on the boat. About three weeks had passed since you almost kissed Mason and now you were about to hop on the Mount's boat in Portsmouth.

You had completely forgotten about the game. During your conversations with your brother, you could sense that Mason hadn't mentioned anything about that night which was, in a way, kind of relieving.

Just like you, Mason had also forgotten that your family was coming over. But when his sister sent him a text saying that your family would join him before his game, he was flabbergasted.

You both hadn't spoken since the night of the win, but you both were thinking about that interaction since then. To forget that incident, he had spoken to one of his best friends, Ben, in search of a solution.

—Mate, what you need is a good fling. Maybe you should invite someone next time you're going on a family boat day —said Ben, laughing because of what Mason was asking him.

You got on Mason's boat, feeling heavy-hearted once again. After an hour, you were seated on the floor, helping Stacey with a puzzle, after your mom expelled you from the kitchen when trying to help her. Meanwhile, Mason and his mother sat down on the couch.

—She has grown into a beautiful woman, don't you think? —His mom said teasingly, already knowing that you were not the only one fallen for someone.

—Yes, she has. —He looked at you, seeing you laugh at something his sister had said. —Mom... I think I fucked up.

—If you had fucked up, she wouldn't be here.

—No mom, I really- —Mason got interrupted by the entrance of a tall, dark-eye, skinny blond, almost gotten out from a runway. She turned toward Mason and presented herself as Daphne, a friend. Debbie now understood why her son said he had fucked up really bad.

Your brother, seeing Daphne —the supposed fling of Mason— talking with him, turned to you.

—Forget your stuff, let’s just get off this boat. Don’t turn around okay? —his hands gripping strongly your shoulders. He knew how much you liked his best friend.

You laughed and followed your brother down the steps of the boat before stopping in your tracks.

—Since when have I ever listened to you? Dear God, I- — Your mouth fell open as you turned around to be met with Mason and his mother, and the presence of a girl that looked like an actual model.

She was leaning on him and he was laughing at whatever she had to say, while Debbie looked at you with pity. You felt like he had personally ripped your heart out, for a hundred times.

—You knew?

Your brother sighed before running his hands through his hair: —She's only a side thing, a one-time fling. I mean she’s not you, but he decided to find someone before Christmas. —He shrugged his shoulders and you felt the rage creeping up your body.

—What about me? When will I be happy? —you said, crying.

That sentence broke your brother's heart.

19 years to be exact, that's the time you've been waiting for him.

[lalicaaaaa]

Little Miss Verstappen pt 2

In Which Max Verstappen's bastard little sister is a natural-born golf prodigy A bit sad, so fair warning face claim is random Pinterest girls part 1

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM ynstandsforlove

Thank you so much for this win, without your support I wouldn't have been able to do it 🥺 liked by aeristrashcan, LPGAThailand, gillssea, & 246,600 others comments are disabled

CAMERA ROLL

INSTAGRAM

Had a talk with a female dragon, conversation was fire 🐉

Liked by aeristrashcan, gillssea, maxverstappen1, & 456,900 others

comments aeristrashcan : OMG my wife 😍 😩 ⤷ ynstandsforlove : love you wife 😘 user68 : max verstappen trying to be a supportive older brother now that it's been exposed 😒 smh maxverstappen1 : kleine zusje ❤ ⤷ ynstandsforlove : get off my page faker ⤷ maxverstappen1 : don't be like that ⤷ ynstandsforlove : be like what? you suddenly want to call me your little sister but last month you wouldn't even look at me, get out here with that goofy shit bro 💀 gillssea : mon amour 😍 ⤷ ynstandsforlove : mijn Koning 😻

IMESSAGE

Authors note below

DRAMA HELLO??? IS THAT YOU? YES IT IS WAHHHHHHHHHH ok so thank you to my friend who helped me think of what to happen in this chapter love u platonically!!! y/n and max are NOT besties anyway I'll try to get pt 3 some time next week cause mothers day is Sunday and my birthday is Wednesday!!! love y'all

[moonsbypadfoot]

can you make another theo nott headcanons?? <3

I do not have anything specific in mind but make it angsty?? I guess

also I made the text small so it'll fit your blog's aesthetic <3 ❤️‍🩹

obviously I can make another theo headcanon 🪼

Theodore headcanons | pt. 2 🩶

(I think I'm dyslexic, so please excuse any typos)

+ kind of an x y/n?? , second pov, longer than the last one

for the little woman fans!

🩶

theo draws like a pro but then complain of how 'cattivo' (which you haven't figured out what it meant yet) his drawing is, even though it is beautiful?? Like what??

theo tries to speak as if he's in an Shakespeare book and his friends (Draco, and mattheo) would laugh at him at how ridiculous it sounds because they don't understand him plus, his accent makes it more confusing

after his friends laughed at him, he would get all grumpy and sad. that's where you hopped in.

"theo, what's wrong? " You scrunched your face. "Theo? " you said, once more, but the boy didn't even move a muscle.

I forgot to tell you, when he's grumpy, he gives everyone the silent treatment.

but, you're an exception.

"theodore, what happened? " You sighed, looking down at Theo, who's head was on the table.

"nothing is wrong" Theo scoffed.

also, he doesn't want to bother you, that's why he tends to lie sometimes.

"something is wrong, look at you! " You said, softly touching his hair, trying to make him look at you.

"fine" he pauses "something is bothering me" he rolls his eyes.

"well what is it? " you gave a small smile, after finally convincing him to tell you.

"can you teach me english? "

at that second you swear that you could laugh "Theo? What? You're speaking English right now! " You chuckled

bad mistake ; he got more grumppier.

he gave you a nasty 'mhm' and lays his head back on the table.

"hey I was just joking, but, nonetheless, you're already good at English"

"see? you know when to put 'nonrtheless', I don't even know what that means! "

The next day, you took him book shopping (for everyone's sake, everyone knows a grumpy Theo isn't a good Theo), and you paid for him

Instantly his mood was better, and he took you to drink at the three broomsticks.

theo keeps smiling and looking at the totebag you crocheted for his 14th birthday. inside was the books you got him.

(he was most excited for little women)

theo paid for the butterbeers you both drank.

after that, it became your weekly thing to go to the three broomsticks every Sunday.

theo also starts to call you 'amore mio', but whenever another boy calls you 'love' he immediately assumes things.

at valentines day, he was weirdly quiet, until he suddenly came to you

"y/n" Theo said, not looking directly at your eyes. "yes, Theo? "

"that's for you" theo sighs.

you gave him a big smile, and hugged him, though, he didn't look very happy.

It wasn't a secret that Theo has a big crush for you, well, lorenzo kinda spoiled that for you,

(talking with enzo, 4 months before valentines)

"I may know a guy who likes you" Lorenzo said, all giggly. You gasped. "Tell me who it is! "

"No I can't! " Lorenzo laughs.

"I swear I'll kill-" He cuts you off, "okay, okay fine! But you cannot tell him nor anyone that I've told you this"

he paused for a second. "it's Theo!! "

It also wasn't a secret that you like him, Lorenzo also spoiled that for him

(2 days before valentines)

"Theo, I need you to do a favor for me"

"What? " Theo groans, dog-earring his little women book.

"You need to make a move on your girl" Lorenzo said, making Theo scoff the second he hears that. "hey, she likes you! "

"Ridiculous" Theo said, opening his book again.

"I will, and you must hear me. It's no use, Jo, we've got to have it out, and the sooner the better for both of us," he answered, getting flushed and excited all at once. "Say what you like then. I'll listen," said Jo, with a desperate sort of patience. theodore was a young lover, but he was in earnest, and meant to 'have it out', if he died in the attempt, so he plunged into the subject with characteristic impetuousity, saying in a voice that would get choky now and then, in spite of manful efforts to keep it steady... "I've loved you ever since I've known you, Jo, couldn't help it, you've been so good to me. I've tried to show it, but you wouldn't let me. Now I'm going to make you hear, and give me an answer, for I can't go on so any longer."

After he read that, he realized that if he waits anymore longer you and him wouldn't work out just like theodore Laurence and josephine march.

"Maybe you're right, Enzo, maybe I need to make a move" He said, which made enzo confused but, he was happy either way.

well long story short, that was the start of your lovely relationship.

the whole reason you two got together was because of a book and you think it's absolutely beautiful and poetic 🩷🪼

[cher-rei]

afterglow– pt 9 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

genre(s): friends to lovers, fluff, should definitely add the slowburn tag

[w.c: 6.6k] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

notes: buckle up, because this one is one hell of a ride

"does this christmas tree look weird?"

clara looked up at you from the shopping cart, her nose scrunched at the fact that you were standing next to the tree in all sorts of positions— your excuse being that it needed to match your aesthetic as well as your new apartment's.

yes, the time for the big move has finally arrived 2 weeks before christmas. all your boxes had been moved over through the course of you packing them, and today was the day that you and clara got to work.

"I think you look weird," she shot back, earning a fake laugh that made her smile but you took her advice and carried on looking until you opted for the original.

the two of you continued to roam around ikea like two lost puppies while vlogging the entire experience for your youtube channel. truth be told, it was the most relaxing experience that you'd both had in weeks.

not only was the move taking up more time than you'd originally thought, but the number of press conferences, sponsor shoots, and preparation for the team's channel content was burying you alive. you weren't complaining obviously because this was your job.

but sleep had become a foreign concept once more.

"jamie, we have an interview with virgil set up for wednesday, we need you on that."

"are all the reporters in the press conference room? make sure that harvey doesn't say anything too bad this time around please. we can't have a repeat of last time."

"are the graphics for sunday's match ready?"

"ms carter we're set to film in the next 20 minutes, are you miced up?"

"jamie!" you were snapped back by clara yelling your name, loud enough that a few heads turned to look your way. you perked up with a hum and she nudged you on with a skeptical look.

she continued to push the shopping cart, with you walking beside her. "sorry my mind is flooding with--"

"--thoughts of a certain someone?" she eagerly interjected but you were quick to shut her down with a disapproving look.

you shook your head. "work clara. I'm thinking about work."

your friend wasn't too pleased with your answer though and brushed it off with a sceptical hum but you didn't bother to try and defend yourself. there was no reason to anyway, you'd be fighting an invisible war.

your little ikea trip came to an end after another hour, and you were left with 3 shopping carts and the question of how you were going to fit all this in your car. you both stared blankly at all the shopping bags on the floor, not a thought behind your eyes.

"why don't we just come back for the bags later?"

clara turned to look at you, a hiccup in her voice as she agreed with you until it hit her. "wait are we allowed to do that? what if they steal our things?"

the normal thing to do in this situation would be to call for help, perhaps your dad for some extra support but nope. not here and not when you two were together. all basic logic flew out the window the second you stepped anywhere near clara, and today was no different.

with your hands rested on your hips you had a minute to think before snapping your fingers. "we'll just label the bags and give them to the cashier duh."

this was going to be a long day.

spamjam._. added to their story

trentarnold66 replied to your story

trentarnold66 are we moving already??

spamjam._. we?? 😀

trentarnold66 you know what I mean, don't even.

spamjam._. 😭😭 yes I'll be in by today. why? were you hoping for a house warming party?

trentarnold66 oh definitely not. I'm sure your 3 friends wouldn't pitch anyway

I'm just upset that I don't have your address anymore. no more surprise visits ig 😓

spamjam._. I'm flattered that you think I have 3 friends 🤭 and yes I will be locking my door to stop those surprise visits

trentarnold66 it's okay. I'll just ask clara because she's super nice

spamjam._. I will end your bloodline bro don't you dareee

speak of the devil, she's calling me to come and help her. you're a distraction!! I have unpacking to do😭😭

trentarnold66 don't blame me for your problems and get back to packing

spamjam._. ??? jump [liked by trentarnold66]

"oh my god I think we're done."

you huffed out in exhaustion at clara's question, stood in the living room after you had just fluffed up the last of your throw pillows.

you didn't know how to answer, not knowing if that really was all the decoration done because there might just be one more box hiding somewhere, but your doubt quickly vanished into relief. you nodded slightly in your friend's direction with a smile of disbelief.

you swear that tears had formed in her eyes, and you felt the same. utterly exhausted and relieved. "we're done!!"

clara didn't waste a second and pulled you into an excited embrace that had you jumping up and down and squealing until you flopped down onto the sofa to finally take in the finished product of your first official apartment.

just the feeling of being in a place that you could call your own made your stomach jump. the interior design, the aesthetic— it was all so you. it was cosy and didn't feel the slightest bit empty, the walls littered with artwork, empty spaces decorated with plants, and your furniture being the cherry on top.

it felt like home.

after a few minutes of resting, you checked the time to see that it was well past midnight and even though it was friday, both you and clara had to head into the office the following day for a quick meeting and finalisation for sunday's match against manchester united.

by the time that you were all done showering and getting your things in order, you huddled yourself next to clara on the sofa in front of the t.v. the second you put off the big lights for your lamps, an indescribable feeling settled on your chest an--

"do it," clara said suddenly, drawing your attention away from the t.v.

your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, not knowing what she was talking about. your friend sighed heavily and muttered something under her breath before leaning over and grabbing hold of your phone.

she waved it in front of your face with a lopsided smile. "shoot. your. shot "

"excuse me? who am I shooting exactly?"

your answer didn't amuse her by the looks of it but you didn't worry because you were genuinely confused.

clara leant in a bit closer, "don't play dumb with me. I know what you are. I saw those messages."

it took a moment for you to finally grasp what she was saying and an elongated "ohhhh" left your lips. she mimicked your answer teasingly and shoved your phone back into your palm with a knowing look.

you tried your best to explain that those messaged were just simple fun and jokes but clara insisted that it was way more than that.

"are you reading these texts jamie?? he's flirting with you!!"

you paused to look her up and down for a moment. "are you mental?" you deadpanned.

clara looked as if she was about to blow a fuse, muttering something to herself while you sat with your lips slightly parted in confusion. funny enough this wasn't this first time that she was acting this strange, it had been every few days for the past two weeks.

you didn't understand why it was such a big issue. you and trent were getting slightly closer sure, but clara was pushing it. have you told her about your almost non-existent feelings for him? of course, she was your closest friend.

but something was off with her. even at work when you'd be around them during training or busy with the p.r filming, clara would nudge you into his direction. something was up, and you needed it out.

"clara," you started firmly. "what do you know?"

something flashed on her face for a split second and she averted her gaze to the t.v. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just saying that--"

she truly was a horrible liar.

"you're doing a horrible job at covering this up, don't just sit there and act confused." your eyebrows narrowed at her silence, a meak look on her eyes. "out with it then."

she sighed and ran a hand through her hair in frustration, you could even see a tint of red at the tips of her ears. clara was stubborn, and you were growing impatient.

she looked at you for a moment before relaxing her shoulders. "life isn't some fairy tale you know?"

what the hell is this girl talking about?

"like--" she looked up at the ceiling in thought. "--we can't expect the universe to sense our romantic feelings and magically play things in our favour."

you blinked at her a few times. "bro what the hell are you saying??"

faster than you could register, clara grabbed you by the shoulders with a look of determination in your eyes. "I'm saying make a move because no one is going to make it for you! this isn't some feet kicking, giggly rom com!"

clara's words were like a slap to the face, leaving you just as stunned. you didn't know how to respond to her, only being able to part your lips with no words falling from them.

your cellphone that was in her hand was now pressed tighly against your chest, with clara looking at you with gentle encouragement even though her words were far from it.

"okay, friends to lovers I guess." she raised her eyebrows slightly. "so about how you work on the lovers part instead of taking three steps back whenever you take one forward, you fucking coward!"

christmas had passed and it was a week into the new year. what better way to start the new year than to play arsenal in the fa cup third round? the year started off well at least, with the 4-2 win against newcastle.

you were fully settled into your new apartment, as well as your sister in london. the only thing bugging you, was clara being the equivalent of a mosquito— or a better yet, a parasite that kept reminding you of "the deal".

the deal being you asking trent on one friendly date and she'll leave you alone, and never mention anything remotely close to your love life again. you said yes as a way to get her out of your hair, but instead the exact opposite happened.

so you were planning on swallowing whatever pride you had and ask him to come over to your apartment just to chill. okay, that's definitely not what you were going to say, because that just sounded pathetic and extremely embarrassing.

just the thought alone, made you cringe.

the team arrived at the emirates stadium at 4 p.m that sarurday afternoon. the weather was a bit warmer than it had been the past few weeks, and you were quite excited for the match to be honest. you had a hunch today, or maybe you were just hungry.

you followed the camera crew out to the pitch and helped them set up before doing the necessary media procedure (making your promotional tiktoks). the first hour for setting up was always fun for you, it was quieter but to be left alone on the pitch was always something.

at some point, you even tried to teach clara how to do some warm-up drills. it would have her clapping her hands in excitement and saying, "I remember that from training."

the two of you messed around with the camera crew for a bit and documented your first trip to the emirates stadium. it was insane to think that you'd only had this job for 4 months, the most eventful yet peaceful months ever to be honest.

"why does their grass look greener than ours?" clara asked in distaste as she looked down at the ground, tapping her foot lightly.

you joined her and averted your gaze to the "greener" grass and shook your head. "It's not." you waved your hands in the air. "the air is different here or something, so it seems greener."

clara hummed in agreement, tapping her finger to her temple. "mind games. london is crazy dude."

you laughed at her comment, until the realisation began to seep in ever so slowly. "london." you muttered under your breath and put your hands on your head, causing clara to grow concerned. "shit, we're in london."

your friend gave you a look that screamed, "well no duh", but you were in fight or flight mode, saying that you needed to leave immediately which was so stupid.

"I can't be here. wait, no I'm just being dramatic. but what if I'm not?? what if I'm not being dramatic clara???"

she was dumbfounded at your sudden mood shift and nonsensical rambling, and was about to try and get any sort of coherent information but you were interrupted by a staff member calling your name since the dressing room was ready for a few more clips.

you didn't spare clara another glance and tried your best to calm yourself down as you entered the dressing room, debating with yourself on whether or not you were going insane. it took a bit but you managed to collect your thoughts and rethink the situation.

I'm just being dramatic.

you took one last breath and turned to the door, only to be met with a very confused harvey and cody. the two just stared a you for a moment, and you weren't quite sure why since it was normal for you to be in the dressing room before a game.

"I told you," harvey shook his head and looked at cody. "she's straight up talking to herself right now."

"I was what?" you asked quickly with widened eyes and cody was the one to answer this time.

"you were chanting 'I'm not being dramatic' over and over." there wasn't a hint of uncertainty in his tone which made you feel slightly embarrassed, only for mo to walk from behind them and ask what the hold up was since they were standing in the doorway.

harvey took a few cautious steps towards you. "jamie's either a witch or mentally ill." he mocked a gasp with his hand in front of his mouth. "or maybe she's a mentally ill witch."

you lunged towards him in retaliation but he managed to slither his way through the rest of the boys who were still coming in, their looks of confusion not going unnoticed. he played it safe and hid behind ibou , who preferred not to play mediator and gave him a slap on the back of his head, causing him to yell out in pain.

he tsked at the younger boy. "and you wonder why she has it out for you"

just as you put your phone back into your pocket, a light knock echoed through the now-filled room. in the doorway, stood clara who was there to fetch you for the last staff debrief. you gave harvey one last look up and down before bidding your goodbye to the rest of the team.

you joined clara as she strolled through the corridors, no haste in her step at all for some reason. she didn't say much either which worried you, so you took the initiative to ask her what was up but she didn't answer.

instead, her eyes perked up and you turned to look at what caught her attention, only to see trent walking in with his headphones on and his attention glued to his phone. the desperate look you gave clara didn't suffice, and the two of you ended up having a small whispered argument.

you shook your head vigorously as she gestured to trent who was still walking in your direction to get to the dressing room. all you had to do was walk past him without drawing attention to yourself, and you promised clara that you'd ask him after the match but she was stubborn and insisted on it happening that very moment.

"jamie I'm sorry, I love you I promise."

before you could object, she shoved you a little harsher than expected and instead of lightly nudging trent on the side like she thought you would, you ended up bumping into him in a full collision.

luckily nothing fell out of his hands, seeing as he was too startled and perhaps clara thought that he would catch you by the waist just in time— but this wasn't some fairytale! instead, he held onto his belongings tighter and watched in shock as you hit the wall, shoulder first.

"are you okay?" trent lowered his headphones and turned his attention to you. you couldn't even bring yourself to meet his gaze, but you had to suck it up despite the amount of pain you were in.

you muffled a painful hum in response and waved his concern off. "yeah, sorry I was just--" you turned to look at where clara previously was but she was gone. "--that bitch," you muttered through a gritted smile, thinking of the ways that you were going to make her life hell later on.

"excuse me?" trent asked, not sure if you were talking to him which caused the red on your face to deepen.

"nothing," you laughed awkwardly and stood up properly, your arms folded over your chest. "I just wanted to say hi... I guess."

he accounted for the uncertainty in your answer but didn't bring it up, only feining a lopsided smile. "well that was quite the entrance, super dramatic."

you faked a laugh at his joke and blinked a few times. "yeah, you know me and being dramatic. you can't have one without the other." your tongue poked the side of your cheek at the irony of your answer.

a moment of silence enveloped the two of you again as the awkward encounter came to an end because trent needed to get to the dressing room. you moved to the side and let him past, internally battling with yourself for wasting the opportunity but you called him back before he was too far off.

trent looked down at you, the shimmer in his eyes having you frozen in spot for a moment. "I wanted to know if you were..." you had no idea how you were supposed to ask him at all, you didn't think that practice was needed.

"like tomorrow since we have the day off, would you..."

this was pathetic. you were pathetic, fumbling over your words for something this stupid. it was so unlike you to be this nervous, which made it even more awkward.

trent gave you another moment before his lips tugged up into a smile. "yes I would."

you swallowed the lump in your throat. "you don't even know what I was going to say."

he simply shrugged his shoulders. "whatever you want, I'm down for. and as much as I'd love to continue this little back and forth, I really need to go. but I'll see you later okay?"

you nodded. all you could do was nod as you watched him walk away with the same amused smile on his lips when all you wanted to do was bury yourself alive. never again, this was never going to happen again. you wouldn't allow it.

you ran your fingers through your hair in an attempt to cool down your rising temperature. you were blushing for no reason at all. with your back against the wall, you took a few deep breaths only to feel a nudge on your shoulder. you didn't bother opening your eyes, because if you did then all hell would break loose.

you could hear clara smiling from beside you as she leant in and whispered teasingly. "he's down for whatever you want," she giggled. "what do you want jamie?"

"I want you dead."

it was about 10 minutes before kick-off and both teams were on the pitch for their warm-ups, while the supporters settled in their seats and so far, everything was running as per normal.

you were doing your regular rounds with your camera around your neck, as well as your phone in hand to get some videos of the boys for extra content. you even got the opportunity to talk to a few of the arsenal players as well.

they were all extremely nice, asking about how you were finding your job so far and whatnot. it was a sweet interaction that you didn't expect from them, especially since this was a crucial match.

"you must be getting so cold right now," ali chuckled as he took a spot beside you on the pitch, leaning over to look at the pictures you were going through on the camera.

you scoffed. "being cold is a mindset, I'm perfectly fine right now."

your answer prompted a laugh from the older man who wasn't the slightest bit convinced. "I can see your goosebumps."

"you're delusional."

finally it was time for kick off, and you took your respective seat next to clara with the rest of the staff and huddled into your hoodie with your hands in your pocket. for the first 10 minutes of the first half, you couldn't help but feel that you were being watched.

normally you'd brush the feeling off, but today it felt different. so eventually you took the liberty of turning around and scouting the crowd to see if you could notice anyone, and just as you were about to give up someone in the crowd caught your eye.

your stomach dropped to the floor with a single moment of eye contact. it felt as if the world around you had stopped, the only thing catching your eye being the boy looking over your shoulder.

he looked no different than when you last saw him, just a bit more mature. as usual, he was sporting his arsenal jersey and scarf— the same jersey and scarf that you scolded him for wearing around you. the look in his eyes was unreadable, but his expression must've been just as shocked as yours.

you shifted your gaze to the person cuddled to his side, and to no surprise, there stood your ex-best friend. in the flesh, just as you started to move on the universe decided to give you the biggest reminder of your departure from london.

michael and kelly— your ex-boyfriend and your ex-best friend.

you couldn't break eye contact no matter how hard you tried and clara who wanted to comment on something about the match was victim to your daze. with her eyebrows furrowed she followed your gaze, her jaw dropping instantly.

something crept up your spine, and unfamiliar feeling that you couldn't shake off while trying to focus on the match in front of you.

"I wish I was a mentally ill witch right now."

[jadewolf22]

Agent Outcast Pt.3

Fem!OC (Arania Northfire) x Larissa Weems 

Warnings: FLUFF!, Implied smut (if you squint), DARK!!;  Kidnapping, torture, physical assault, ect… 

Word Count: 1,440 

You awoke the next morning to bright sunlight streaming through the window and a familiar ache between your legs. You groaned, rolling onto your side to look at your clock, the LED lights glowing '11:16 a.m'. Sighing, you pulled the covers off of you and carefully crawled out of bed, trying your hardest not to wake Larissa. Opening the door to Larissa's closet you weren't surprised to see clothing that she had stolen from you nestled inside. You chuckled silently, grabbing your bra and underwear from the floor and taking back your black sweatpants and your favorite Guns and Roses t-shirt, which you would scold Larissa for stealing later.  

Stepping into the bathroom after you'd dressed you threw your hair up into a messy bun before applying your makeup which consisted of grey smokey eye eyeshadow, cat eye eyeliner, mascara and black smudge proof lipstick, which you only wore when you didn't have class. 

"Larissa," you called, stepping out of the bathroom, "time to get up." 

Larissa didn't move a muscle, still dead to the world. 

"Larissa," you called again, louder this time, "Come on baby, time to wake up." 

"Mmh– Five more minutes . . ." Larissa groaned. 

"No." you said firmly, "Come on; up!" 

"It's Sunday!" Larissa whined, rolling onto her other side, taking your pillow and hugging it to her chest. 

"Don't make me drag you out of bed, please." you begged. 

"No." 

You sighed, walking forward and pulling the covers off of her to find that, sometime in the night, she'd redressed. Smirking at your girlfriend, you grabbed her ankles, yanking her off of the bed, a soft 'Thud!' filling the room as her ass hit the wooden floor.  

Now fully awake, Larissa grabbed the pillow she'd been holding and threw it at you, which you managed to dodge, causing the pillow to hit the bookshelf behind you, knocking several books onto the floor. 

You gasped laughingly, turning to Larissa and chuckling, "You're in trouble," 

"Oh shi–!" 

Larissa scrambled to her feet and dashed towards the door but you caught her by the waist, picking her up and throwing her onto the bed before climbing on top of her, pinning her beneath you. 

"Get off of me! Get off of me!" Larissa gasped between laughs, squirming underneath you. 

"Tell me you're done." you demanded, laughingly, "Tell me you're done and I'll get off." 

"Ari, please?! Please, get off!" Larissa begged. 

"Not until you say you're done." 

"Never!" Larissa teased, immediately regretting her words. 

"Never, huh?" you repeated, laughing as you moved your hands to her ribcage and began to tickle her intensely.  

"Ari! Ari, please! Please, stop! Please!" Larissa squealed, wiggling around wildly, trying to get away from your hands as you continued torturing her. 

"Not. Until. You tell me. You're done!" 

"Fine! Fine!" Larissa cried, "I'm done! I'm done! Please, get off!" 

Chuckling, you consented, kissing her cheek before climbing off of her, both of you laughing and breathing heavily.  

Sunday was your only day of relaxation, your stress returning tenfold after that. 

You had, finally, come up with a plan; Instead of waiting until the last second only to not give the gang a name, you decided to give them your own. It was the only way to keep everyone at Nevermore safe and keep Adrien and Dr. Snow happy. You decided to wait until Saturday to explain everything to Larissa. However, you never received the chance.  

To say that you were a little worried to see Adrien's name appear on your phone screen was an understatement; you were terrified. 

Forcing yourself to keep calm, you answered the phone with a simple, "Hello?" 

"You need to get over here, now!" The gruff edge in Adrien's voice made your heart race, and not in a good way. 

"Why? What's going on?" you asked, trying to keep your focus mainly on your driving. 

"Just get your ass over here." Adrien demanded. 

"Uh . . . I'll be there in five," you managed, ending the call and scrolling through your contacts until you found Larissa. 

"Come in, come on. Pick up your phone, Ris." you mumbled while making a U-turn, heading back towards town, sighing when your call was met with a monotone voice telling you to leave a message. 

"Hey Ris, it's me " you said at the beep, "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something . . . Something came up and I'm going to be a little late. I shouldn't be gone for more than another half hour. I'll see you at home; love you." 

Putting your phone away you focused on the road, trying not to let your mind wander over to why Adrien wanted to see you. You knew he didn't know about your plan; how could he when you had never written it down or said it aloud?  

'He probably just wants an update.' you thought, parking in front of the warehouse.  

Your heart was practically beating out of your chest as you walked into the warehouse, doing your best to keep your breath even and calm. 

"There's our girl!" 

You jumped a little before forcing a smile onto your face as you walked up to join Adrien and the others.  

"What's going on, Adrien?" you asked. 

"We have a problem, Ari." Adrien said with a feigned sadness. 

"Arania." you corrected, "What problem could we possibly have now?" 

"Doc moved up the date," oh shit, "he wants a name tonight." 

"What?!" your mouth hung open, you blinked rapidly as you ran a hand through your hair, trying to get your bearings, "I told you I was going to need till Sunday. Did you bother to tell the Doc that when he told you this?!" 

"He gave us another 5 mil to move the date." 

"He gave you five million to move the date up a couple of days?" you asked, one eyebrow quirked to show you didn't believe him. 

Adrien and the others were silent for a moment before he nodded to Ryan, saying to you, "Come with me . . . I have something I want to show you " 

"What?" you asked with a sceptical look, watch Ryan leave the room before turning your attention back to Adrien.  

"Just follow me." Adrien demanded, smirking as you complied. 

He led you towards the west side of the building, which you knew housed the holding cells. 

"Adrien, what is going on?" you asked, your heart pounding in your ears.  

"You'll see." Adrien teased cruelly, opening a door and motioning for you to step inside, "Right through here." 

Hesitantly, you stepped inside, your blood turning cold. One wall of the room was a large, one-way window, that allowed you to look into the next room.

"Ris!!" you cried, pressing up against the glass.  

Larissa hung, unconscious, in the next room, her hands chained above her head. Your eyes ran over her body, grateful that, other than a little blood running down the corner of her mouth, she seemed okay. 

"Adrien, let her go." you demanded, turning to Adrien as he closed the door.  

"I had other things in mind." Adrien whispered with a wicked smile, a loud 'click!' from the other room, your attention back to the window. 

Your eyes widened in horror as Ryan stepped into the room with Larissa, a taser in one hand and a whip in the other. You could only watch as Ryan turned on the taser, jabbing it into Larissa's side. The jolt of electricity woke Larissa, a scream of pain leaping from her mouth. 

Ryan held the taser to her for several seconds before pulling away and cracking the whip down, hard, on her back before repeating the process. 

'Zap! Crack! Scream!' 

'Zap! Crack! Scream!' 

On it continued, for what felt like hours. 

"Adrien, please! Please, tell him to stop!" you begged. 

"Give me a name!" Adrien demanded. 

"Please! Please, stop!" you continued, deaf to his words, "Please, make him stop!" 

"Give me a name!!" he repeated. 

"I can't!" you sobbed, unable to think straight. 

"If you want this to stop, give me a name!" 

"I can't!" you repeated. 

"Arania, give me a name–!" 

"ME!!" you screamed, tears flowing down your face, ". . . take me! I'm begging you-Please, Adrien, tell him to stop . . ."  

Adrien was silent for several moments before pulling out his phone. You watched him bring his phone to his ear and heard Ryan's phone ringing from the other room. 

"That's enough . . . Stay in the room." Adrien said, hanging up as soon as he had finished speaking. 

"Adrien– Ung!" 

Without warning, Adrien's hand wrapped around your throat, minimizing your oxygen intake. Your blue eyes met the black of his, an infuriated shadow darkening his already dark eyes.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Battle Of The Knights Pt. 2: Round 1- Steven

Pairing: Moonknight trio x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: none of course

Genre: fluff, what else would it be

Summary: "So let me get this straight, you all like me, so you each want to take me on a date and let me decide what to do after?" You can't believe the words you're hearing even as you repeat them back.

What happens when the relationships you've built with Marc and his two alters are turned on their heads by a proposition that is anything but simple? How can they expect you to risk blowing up the carefully crafted dynamic you've worked so hard to create? And why do you agree to such an insane suggestion?

***

You take two weeks to let the dust settle before you text Steven. You wanted to give yourself time to mentally prepare for this absolute chaos.

Steven. Your week starts Sunday. You have until next Sunday to plan and execute a date on a day of your choosing or forfeit your turn.

His response to that message comes back almost immediately.

Wednesday, 3 o'clock. I'll come pick you up! :)

You don't understand how he already has something planned out for a date he didn't even know was happening this week until you texted him five minutes ago but you can't help but chuckle at how positively Steven it is for him to be prepared so quickly.

Sounds good.

You text him back quickly and toss your phone to the side. You cannot believe you're actually going through with their insane plan. 

Wednesday comes around almost too quickly and there's a knock at your door precisely at 3 o'clock. When you open it Steven is standing there with wide eyes as if it wasn't your door he knocked on.

"Hi." He breathes.

"Hi. I wasn't sure what to wear, since I forgot to ask. I hope I'm not underdressed." You say. You chose a skirt and a cute top for your date today. You figured you could get away with something more casual since it's an afternoon date, even if you don't know where you're going.

"You look perfect." Steven says with a smile.

"Then, let's get going." You say. Steven nods his agreement and steps to the side for you to exit your apartment. The two of you walk in companionable silence that may have been awkward with someone else but with Steven, you've never felt the need to fill stretches of quiet and despite the strange circumstances of today, this afternoon is no exception. After a while of walking, you find yourself in front of a planetarium.

"A planetarium?" You turn to him with a gentle smile.

"Yeah- I know it's a bit nerdy but I thought it might be a fun way to spend time together unless you like hate-"

"I love it! You know I've never shied away from all things nerdy. Besides the rules are that you get to pick what we do today. If this is how you'd like to spend the time I'm all for it Stevie." You say cutting him off before the nervous ramblings can set in.

"Cool. Let's- let's go in then." Steven says letting out a breath. The two of you are walking through the exhibits shortly after.

"You never mentioned that you were into astronomy Steven." You hum as he finishes reading a fact card at one of the displays.

"Oh, it's a relatively recent hobby after an incident involving a map." Steven shrugs.

"A- a map led to you taking up stars and space as a hobby?" You chuckle not seeing the connection at all.

"Well yes. I know it sounds strange but I was doing some personal research and I found a map in- one of the books I was reading and it was charted using the stars but since we move over time the stars are no longer in the same place today as they were, say thirty years ago, so in order to read the map I had to track the relative position of the stars in reverse to find out where they would have been on the night the map was made so I could read it and let me just say; trying to trace stars backwards is not an easy task if you've never done it before and-" Steven stops suddenly and sighs, cringing a little. "I'm rambling." He mutters.

"You always ramble Steven." You giggle as you walk but as your words hit Steven he stops in his tracks.

"I- I suppose I do have a habit of doing that. I apologize." He frowns. You turn and grab his hands in yours to pull him out of his head before he can spiral any further.

"Don't apologize. I've always found it cute." You tell him, tilting your head to hold his gaze.

"Really?" His eyes widen with disbelief.

"Yes." You giggle and you mean it. His ability to get engrossed in his interests has always been endearing to you.

"Oh. Okay." He says, smiling shyly.

"Now, I already know all your favorites when it comes to Egyptian mythology, so tell me everything about this newish hobby of yours. Fun facts, favorite planetary bodies, what constellations are most interesting to you." You tell him, starting to walk again, pulling him along with your hand still wrapped around his.

"Seriously?" He blinks at you.

"Absolutely. I wanna know everything." You nod.

"Okay so-" Steven launches into everything he's got to share. A plethora of facts and interesting details that have him excitedly chatting through your whole time in the planetarium. You didn't realize there would be so much to say about the stars but then again Steven has a tendency to learn any and everything about subjects that catch his interest so if anyone can fill hours with information on any given subject it would be him. After a few hours of wandering the planetarium while Steven shared every space fact that he could think of, the two of you head to a small cafe a couple of blocks away for a late lunch/early dinner.

"I had no idea you knew so much about space." You muse once you're both sitting with food in front of you.

"I find it all extremely fascinating. It's so vast that you really can't run out of things to learn I think." He hums.

"I'm sure. I mean I definitely know space is expansive, so- makes sense that it's an interest that never stops giving. I've never been to a planetarium before but it feels like the kind of place where you can always discover something new." You say.

"When I first took an interest in astronomy and such I was there several times a month. It's a great place to start when diving into all things stars and space." Steven nods excitedly.

"Several times a month? Really?" You blink.

"Oh yes, it was a habit from before I met you, but I was probably doing it still after you and Marc became friends. I'm not sure of the timeline so that's just a guess and by the time we met I'd mostly exhausted that resource so I've taken to primarily reading these days, although they change the displays often enough that I still check them out every once in a while." He says. You hum in understanding.

"You're so cute." You smile after a moment and Steven's eyes widen as his ears tinge the prettiest shade of pink and he glances away from you. It's the second time you've called him cute and he's really not sure how he's meant to respond. He's never been particularly good at receiving compliments, especially from you.

"I know this is a first date technically but since we already know each other and don't have to do the usual get to know each other questions- I'm not quite sure what to ask you." He admits after a moment.

"You don't have to ask me any questions if none come to mind, Steven. Don't feel- obligated. We hang out all the time so, try not to get in your head too much and if you have questions that you're worried will cross a line or something, you can ask them. I can't imagine you could say anything that would offend me."

"I can ask anything?"

"Of course love. Have I ever made you feel like you couldn't ask me things?"

"No but- this is new territory."

"Sure but the rules are the same." You tell him.

"Then- I do have a question."

"Ask away."

"Why did you agree to this? To Jake's- our idea?" He asks, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Marc and Jake can be quite stubborn once they've made up their mind on something. You too to some extent and- this seemed like it was important to them, to you all. I don't like fighting against things that are important to you if I don't have to. Although now it seems like maybe you didn't want anything to do with all this."

"I mean- my feelings for you aside I- I can't help but feel guilty, as if we persuaded you into something you're not totally comfortable with." He frowns, avoiding your gaze as if his plate of food is way more interesting.

"Persuaded me? Steven in the time you've known me have I ever lied to spare your feelings? Have I ever yielded to something uncomfortable for your sakes? I don't think I've made a habit of that. This is a bit strange for sure but if I genuinely felt uncomfortable I wouldn't be here. I've never feared you three so it's not like anyone could force me to do anything. I mean I'm probably the only person Jake could point a gun at and I'd stare right down the barrel yelling at him. Don't worry Steven I'm here of my own volition." You tell him.

"That- makes me feel better." Steven sighs, a smile barely tracing his lips and you can't help the chuckle that comes from this conversation.

"You are such a sweetheart. Thank you for your concern. Although, I wonder if- maybe you don't want to be involved in this game that's started?" You tilt your head at him. 

"Well- it's not quite that I don't want to be involved, after all, I'm not exempt from having feelings for you. It's just that I don't want to contribute to pressuring you into anything but you've said you are choosing to be here, to be involved in all this and so I am content. I'm always content with you."

"I'm- content too." You say. From there, you change the subject of conversation to something lighter knowing that if you don't Steven will continue to mull over the morality of this situation and spiral so far he won't enjoy the rest of your time together. You spend a while chatting over your food before eventually the sun begins to disappear and you agree it's time to call it. Steven walks you back to your apartment while you animatedly discuss a book you've both been reading and by the time you reach your apartment building the sun has pretty much entirely dipped below the horizon. You linger for a few minutes if only to ask Steven to point out which constellations he can identify before you let him take you back up to your apartment. Once you're at your door you're hesitant to call it a night even as you've spent quite a few hours together already.

"I've had fun with you today Steven." You tell him.

"You did?!" Steven blinks excitedly. "I mean- I had fun too." He says quickly.

"You plan a good date. Thank you." You say with a small chuckle.

"I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself." He sighs with a smile. You place a hand on his shoulder and put just enough pressure to encourage him to bend down far enough for you to kiss his cheek gently.

"Goodnight Steven." You say quietly as you step away from him.

"Good night." He replies in the same soft tone. You step into your apartment and close the door slowly, trying to commit to memory the look on Steven's face. He's got a small smile on his face with that adorable shade of pink dusting his cheeks again and his eyes are a little wide. The smile tugging at your lips stays there the rest of the night.

The circumstances are strange, but you can't say dating the trio is the worst thing you could get up to and you'd be lying if you pretended not to be excited to see what Jake and Marc end up planning.

***

Taglist: @queerponcho @avengersinitiative2012 @stressed-cherry

[lasatfat]

dadwc prompt list/info

general info:

I'm most familiar with the Inquisition roster, and I've played Origins enough to get a handle on those guys, I think. DA2, I haven't played as much. I'd avoid Awakenings and Absolution for now, because I haven't got around to them yet. I also haven't played Veilguard, but I'm developing some Rook ideas.

Please specify the prompt list you're using, if you can, so I can link back to it. Don't worry if you can't.

I'll be reposting stuff to AO3 by default, but if you'd rather I didn't repost for your prompt, I will absolutely respect that.

OT3/poly prompts are welcome, cracky ships are welcome, rarepairs are welcome. "LI swaps" are welcome (e.g. my Surana romances Alistair in my game, but you can request her with Morrigan, for example. Or a non-romanceable character. Anything you like). Nothing really grim, though, please.

If you send me prompts for platonic interactions, I will love you forever. I will give you a little digital kiss/hug/handshake/high five/wave.

If you send me something that I have a real mental block against for some reason, I will let you know and you can send in another prompt, if you want to.

If I combine prompts, I'll post one with a screenshot of the other(s), and privately answer the other ask(s) to link you up.

prompt fills

Blood of the Crow || Two Hands Longing (For Each Other's Warmth) || Tempting Fate || An Unfriendly Wager || Shadows and Tall Trees || Sanctuary || Easy Like a Sunday Morning || From Childhood's Hour || Scathefire || A Rose Upon a Thorn || Let Me Walk (Before They Make Me Run) || Risk My Hands to Pick Up Shards || Fair Game || Safe Under Cover || The Beginning of All Things || Aisling Lavellan Makes Her Mark || The Safest Place to Hide (NSFW) || You Will Find Him Next to Me || Don't Look Back Into the Sun || Planning Permission || The Nug King's Prize

prompt lists

I have a whole tag for story prompts and ask games HERE; this is just a selection of various types and topics. Again, please include the name of the list if you can, but don't panic if you're on mobile or just forget. Sparklies are for things I'm particularly feeling.

dragon age artefacts

unusual words and Raleigh's lost words

adventuring party dialogue pt. 2 and pt. 3

fantasy settings starters

six word sentence starters

50 wordless ways to say "I love you"

enormity of my desire and dirty little compliments

soft sentence starters

hurt/comfort starters and bad day prompts

two-part drabble game

my ocs

canon protagonists:

Eireann Surana, Hero of Ferelden - City elf mage, arcane warrior and spirit healer, wielder of Spellweaver. Mother of Farah. Radically kind, values honesty, wishes she didn't have to keep so many secrets. A good tactician. (she/her, bisexual)

Rian Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall - Human hedge mage, force mage. On the diplomatic side of sassy, or the sassy side of diplomatic, depending on your view, but always aims for compassion. (they/them, pansexual)

Gideon Lavellan, Herald of Andraste - Dalish storm mage, Knight-Enchanter. Twin brother of Athim, brother of Aisling. Cunning, and good-hearted, a great believer in uplifting the downtrodden. His title is a burden, but he tries to use his power for good. (he/him, gay)

my other characters (I made characters to try out most of the Inquisition romances, and ended up shoving them all into my canon for funsies):

Athim Lavellan - Dalish mace-and-shield reaver. Twin sister of Gideon, sister of Aisling. Honest and inventive, good with problem-solving. Shares her brother's dry humour. (she/her, bisexual with a preference for men)

Kali Lavellan - Dalish dual-dagger tempest, sketches anything and everything. Perpetually anxious, and hides it well until she doesn't. Always goes the extra mile. (she/her, bisexual)

Sigyn, the Lady Archer - City elf mage of the Kirkwall Circle, escaped at the age of fifteen. Mother of Camile. Isn't used to being around people. Angered by injustice, will always protect those in need, but still building her social confidence. (she/her, grey-ace)

Farid Adaar - Tal-Vashoth mage, shapeshifter. Level-headed and kind-hearted, mellow until a game board or cards come out. A friend to all living things. (he/him, aroace)

Basvaarad Adaar - Tal-Vashoth rift mage, freed saarebas. Says little, and chooses his words carefully. Painfully shy, but loves deeply and well. (he/him, they/them, bisexual)

Nanna Adaar - Half-dwarf Vashoth, two-handed warrior, non-verbal. Brash and hot-tempered, but easily mollified. Very protective of people she loves. A lover of all physical contests. (she/her, lesbian)

Torunn Adaar - Vashoth archer and midwife. In-game she's an artificer, but in my heart she's a bard. Boisterous but emotionally intelligent and always eager to learn new things. Has big sister energy. (she/her, bisexual greyromantic)

Farah Surana - daughter of Eireann Surana and Alistair Theirin. Gregarious and inquisitive, she could make a friend in an empty room. (she/her)

Camile - adopted daughter of Sigyn. Shy and quiet, but always eager to help. Still learning to trust people to help her where she needs it. (she/her)

Aisling Lavellan - baby sister of Gideon and Athim Lavellan. She's brought to Skyhold to live with them after their parents are killed in the fighting in Wycome. Still finding her feet, but curious about everything. A budding creative. (she/her)

my 'ships

As I said, I'm up for trying most any ships, but these are all the ones I have in my verses:

main verse:

Gideon Lavellan/Dorian Pavus

Eireann Surana/Alistair Theirin

Eireann/Alistair/Kali/Cullen

Kali Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford

Rian Hawke/Anders

Rian Hawke/Varric Tethras

Athim Lavellan/Solas

Rian/Athim/Varric

Sigyn/Blackwall

Basvaarad Adaar/the Iron Bull

Nanna Adaar/Sera

Torunn Adaar/Raleigh Samson (quasiplatonic)

Kali Lavellan/the Iron Bull (FwB)

Gideon Lavellan/the Iron Bull (FwB)

Carver Hawke/Merrill Sabrae

Cole/Krem Aclassi

Fenris/Isabela/optional Zevran Arainai

Josephine Montilyet/Leliana

Raleigh Samson/Ser Thrask/Ambra

probably more I can't remember right now

the Lion and the Hind AU:

Torunn Adaar/Cullen Rutherford (whom the AU is named for!)

Athim Lavellan/Josephine Montilyet

Basvaarad Adaar/Cassandra Pentaghast

Gideon Lavellan/Solas

Kali Lavellan/the Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus (Bull is romantically/sexually involved with both Kali and Dorian, but Kali and Dorian are completely platonic)

other ships I enjoy but don't have anywhere specific to put, really

Basvaarad Adaar/Solas

[stiricidewrites]

All the Things We’ll Leave Behind: ch 37, pt 3

I have to take the next two days off. I might find time to post an update on Friday, but otherwise I'll be back Sunday. I have a friend visiting, and they leave next week, so we're trying to squish more activities in, and combined with some weird work hours I've got happening at the moment, it's a lot.

Anyways, if I don't return before Sunday, enjoy your weekends!

Previously

~

“jzxuan,” he tried again, watching closely as the other man refused to even look at him. “A-Xuan?” he asked, quieter this time.

His friend’s eyes snapped to his, then to the people standing nearby. The holler of people quickly falling behind on the challenge they were waiting to join in the next round were too close for anyone to have overheard him, but the other alpha’s eyes were still wide and shocked. He swallowed, breathing out a “Zhanzhan.”

lwj’s lips twitched, and he rather wished they were alone, and he could lean in to kiss the other man. He was almost tempted to try—to swipe a kiss and claim it was an accident. In another life, perhaps he would have.

“I did not let you win,” he said instead, knees widening, so their thighs could brush against one another.

The other man’s breath hitched, eyes shifting to their joined skin. Under the water, their feet bounced together, and lwj gave into the urge to drag his foot up jzxuan’s calf.

“Wangji~” jzxuan laughed, the sound quiet but there as his mouth tilted ever so slightly. “So scandalous.”

“Mn,” he hummed in return. “I did not let you win,” he repeated, wondering if this time his words would stick.

jzxuan sighed, his posture collapsing in a way that made the trim man look weak and chubby. “Fine, I’ll accept your words this time, but I swear!” He turned, a burst of sour anger escaping from him. “If you let me win again—”

“Not again,” lwj couldn’t help but correct him. Given the way his friend’s expression darkened, lwj almost regretted his words.

Almost.

He really hadn’t let the other man win. He had simply gotten a leg cramp and let himself fall from the platform. Could he have remained in the game? Probably, if he had been taking it more seriously—or, if he had realized jzxuan was taking it so seriously.

He hadn’t let the other alpha win, but he also hadn’t been trying his hardest.

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice coming out far quieter than he had intended. “I did not let you win, but I did not try my hardest either. I promise, I will take the competition more seriously from now on.”

[sp00kymulderr]

22nd Oct.

Hm this week has been weird. It started off well, it's ended pretty nicely (the SNL surprise really gave that much needed serotonin boost). But in between was kid of...meh. I have a few weeks left of my contract at work and the looming end of my job is definitely starting to weigh on my mind. I am so so lucky that I have a job to go back to after this one but I'll be moving down from management to entry level, losing pay and going back to full time work so there's a lot to consider next month.

I had an (kinda unsuccessful) date this week, but it was nice to get made up and go out at least. I really do need to keep on trying with this dating lark, it's nerve-wracking but...there's a bit of hope in me still. I watched TUWOMT for like the millionth time for a happy boost (Javi G baby ily). Oh and I got this bracelet lmao I have been wearing it everywhere

Reading wise I had all these plans to read a bunch of fic and really catch up on the 100+ in my tbr now but unfortunately life got a little in the way!

I did however read these fantastic pieces and I'm obsessed with all of them honestly:

Three's Company by @pennyserenade

This Javi P giflet by @suzdin

Oh Honey pt 1 by @lincolndjarin (I neeed to read pt 2, I think that's gonna be my start to the week fic!)

Also absolutely utterly adored reading These Pedro boy sexuality hcs by @perotovar - So many interesting opinions and Erin gave me lots of thoughts about our boys and just how I see them. I'll post my own soon too :)

Of my own work, I really thought I'd finish Our House of Flames pt 3 but again it's been put on the back burner because I've forgotten how to write genuinely hot smut. I gotta work on it some more, but it's coming together slowly.

I didn't post any fic, but these little bits and pieces made an appearance:

A little sneak at my new Dieter WIP, Icarus

Dieter (and one Joel) phone backgrounds

A Pedro phone background

This NSFW thought (still trying to decide who to write this for)

This week ahead is going to be a long one. I'm covering a lot at work, doing extra hours and trying to have a social life. I would love to know how other writers balance life, work, socialising and writing fic?

I'm also officially back at the gym and training properly after a couple weeks away too which eats in to a lot of my time, but is also the thing that keeps me most sane. Excited to work on some heavy lifting for the first time in a while, aiming to get my 100kg deadlift by the end of the year!

The aim for creativity is to finish OHOF pt 3, have that posted by next Sunday, and also read 5 fics this week - but I'm not making any promises.

Wishing happy, lovely weeks to all! Thanks if you read my stupid rambles!

At least we have this gorgeous photo to get us through the week eh?

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi! I'm new to Johnlock and I really like reading fics from John's POV in first person (something like how Alone on The Water was written). Do you know any fics like that?

Anonymous asked: HAPPy Sunday, Steph. ! I'm writing a fanfic, its in first person POV. I wish you can rec me some fics in the 1st person. either John or Sherlock's. As always thanks.

------

Hi Nonnies!

I did a POV Sherlock 1st & 2nd Person a short while ago, so check out that list, Nonny 2!

As for John, I do actually have quite a few 1st Person POV fics! I started a list a while agoand just finally finished pulling them out of the others I had!

Obviously not all of them, but hope what I remembered are worth it!! More will get added to a new list when I reread and re-find.

That said, if anyone has any, please do add them! 

POV JOHN FIRST / SECOND PERSON Pt 1

3:00 in the Morning is a Great Time to Talk by Aztecwarfareandcrumping (K+, 1,775 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Bed Sharing, First Person POV John, Cuddling, Worried Sherlock, Comforting John, Platonic Affection/Love) – "Are you trying to talk your way into my bed?" "Obviously."

Letters by Jenna Flare (T, 2,021 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Epistolary, Post-TRF, POV John Thru Letters) – John leaves letters on Sherlock's grave as a method of coping. Sherlock reads them every week. Sherlock/John, John/Mary.

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

April Sea by ladydirewolf1 (T, 3,778 w, 1 Ch. || First Person POV John, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Melodrama, Reminiscence) – Sherlock takes John to the place he spent his childhood summers.

A Loss, A Latecomer, and a Question by Musicangel913 (T, 3,945 w., 5 Ch. || Grief, Friendship, Post-TRF / Reunion, Non-BBC Mary, Straight John, First Person POV John) – "He was my best friend and I'll always believe in him."

Bitter Nights Turned Sweet by Hyliare (T, 4,076 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Insomnia/Hallucinations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, POV Present Tense John Watson, Cuddling/Snuggling) – Sherlock has always had trouble sleeping; he hasn't always had someone in his life willing to help.

It Isn’t Strange Until You Think About It by ivyblossom (T, 4,596 w., 1 Ch. || For A Case, First Time, First Person John POV) – John tells the truth about how it happened. For some reason, "it's for a case" always seems to do the trick.

Bedtime Stories by Liketheriver (M, 34,388 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional H/C, Romance, Angst & Humour, Bed Sharing, John First Person, TRF, John Whump) – John's POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more. Part 1 of Bedtime Universe

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w., 15 Ch. || Notting Hill AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Book of Silence by SilentAuror (E, 60,056 w., 2 Ch. || S4 Fix It / Post S4, Virgin Sherlock, Rosie / Parentlock, Domesticity, Fluff, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, First Person POV) – As spring blooms in London, John and Sherlock begin to take new cases and cautiously negotiate this new phase of life with John living at Baker Street again. Despite how well it's all going, John struggles to forgive himself for the way he treated Sherlock following Mary’s death as well as trying to figure out how to finally put his long-time feelings for Sherlock into words. Part 1 of The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

The Quiet Man by ivyblossom (E, 157,369 w., 58 Ch. || Post-TRF, John First POV, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Present Tense, Imaginary Sherlock) – "Do you just carry on talking when I'm away?"

[carpehistoryandthepens]

Summer of Sid update 11!

Sunday round-up!

So this week was a bit of a loss for me. Only two days of working out and three workouts in those days. Between vacation and playing catch up at work and a fasting blood test for medical, I couldn't PT like normal. And without that schedule, when I'm working, I fall off the wagon on PT. But I was able to skate more, so that was great!

Monday - I was still on vacation! It was my last day before work, so I was filled with anxiety about going back.

Tuesday - I was right about the anxiety. I'm gone for a week and disasters when I walk in the front door. no workouts for me. :(

Wednesday - SO usually, I would be swimming in the mornings before work. (have to be at work at 0830. the pool opens up at 0630.) BUT I had a fasting blood test to get done. I have relatively low blood pressure, so it takes all day for me to recover.

Thursday - no workouts. I was dealing with work disasters, one disaster at a time. Y'all should see my planner. So much shit to fix and keep track of!

Friday - I was able to swim! So that was good. Only 60 lengths, but I was ok with that. My regular pool is back open, so that was nice. Also, my Fitbit took my stimming as a workout again. So hey! Aerobic workouts!

Saturday - I had duty all day. BUT my watch was in the morning. So I WAS ABLE TO GO SKATING! I tested out my new skate lace bite pads. They did wonderfully! Did you know that my Fitbit thinks an hour and 20 minutes during a public session is work 600 calories?! I was so hungry when I was ready to eat dinner! I skated as a teen, and either 1) I was far more conditioned as a teen than I remember being 2) TEEEENNNNNAAAAGGEEEE ENERGY (Assination classroom anyone?), or 3) I wasn't trying this hard then.

Sunday - weeeelllllllllll SO Far, nothing. I do need to recover from skating yesterday. But the day is still young.

Sid inspo!

all of tangers' insta videos are SOS inpseraition right now. Can Nate post some summertime workout videos with sid in the background? Please? pretty PLEASE?

Sid was the inspiration to look up skate lace bite pads for my skates.

sid in skate lace bite-pads:

(Not the image i was looking for but he’s wearing them!) (anyone have the one where they are in the blue thrid jearsyies? he;s also demostrating franky obscean hockey garters too i think) 

i did find delight in Sid's Gatorade sponsorship pics recently. so there is that too! no reason. just... thirsty for some reason.

Last week goal progress:

Swim (i did!)

body weight (I did not.)

Ice time on the weekend. Email the director to sign up for classes. (i skated! And I emailed the director, and I know what I'm signing up for now!

Goals for next week:

Mock weigh-ins next week. Let's hope my bodyweight is in standards. Sigh. I used not to care. But I then joined the navy. Sigh.

I will be working hard to improve the lengths during the swim.

next Friday I'll time myself. goal: 20 lengths - 10 minuets.

I GOT TO DO THE BODYWEIGHT WORKOUTS! SOMEONE KICK ME IF I DON'T!

***

Have a video of my sit spin! LOOK AT HOW LOW I DON'T GO!

Current Standings!

Swim - 75 lengths

20 lengths: 10:13.

Forearm planks: 1:35 min.

push-ups:

Heel raises (standing) - 3 sets; 30 per set

toe raises (sitting) - 3 sets; 30 per set

rotations - 2 sets in left and right; 30 per set

planted heel in and outs (sitting) - 3 sets in both directions; 30 per set

alphabets - twice with both feet

toe scrunches - 3 sets; 20 per set

toe lifts - 3 sets; 30 per set

chair assisted knee lifts - 3 sets left and right; 20 per set

squats - 3 sets; 30 per set + 10 to make it 100 squats!

above head free weight push-ups - 3 sets; 20 per set

weights press-ups - 50 total (Can't do sets yet)

crunches - 3 sets; 20 per set

side planks - 1 min both sides

forearm planks - 1:30 min.

leg lifts - 3 sets; 30 per set

clamshells - 3 sets left and right; 35 per set

side leg lifts - 3 sets left and right; 35 per set