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noblechaton · 1 year ago

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hi. this is a post about Miraculous Ladybug - but also a post about me too. I've been on this bug and cat train since just about the beginning and getting to where we are now has made me kinda look back on it all - the show and myself so. I'mma ramble for a bit, pretty long post. gets kinda personal too

also there is like. no complaining or salt or anything like that in this post. adding this on in case anyone gets the wrong idea

like I said I've been here since roughly the beginning - not quite the first episode but close enough I feel, def within that first year or so. I've seen every episode (except "Felix" somehow. lmao, and the Shanghai special) and written countless words for this batch of furry doofuses, made countless posts that range from jokes to genuine analysis and spent what could probably be medically determined to be an unhealthy and maybe illegal amount of brainpower on the series as a whole, through the ups and downs, the fandom drama and leaks

and I know plenty of people who have fallen off for one reason or another - they didn't like the progression of the story, how things were being handled here or there, or they simply drifted from it for whatever reason. I kinda felt that way for a time, that I might be growing apart from the series as hiatus after hiatus built and my interests veered more towards other stuff, from wrestlemen to the witchy. it's scared me in the past, that I might stop loving the show, but with the S5 finale having hit and the major storyline that's been the thrust of the series mostly concluded I kinda realized something that I've kinda known for a long while

I'll never let it go, not entirely, and I'll never grow completely past it or beyond it - Miraculous is sort of a part of me

see, 8 years ago I was....drifting in a different way. I was losing touch with the people I held dearest, those irl friends I'd managed to maintain through school were fading fast and slowly I found myself almost alone, totally and completely. suddenly all the voices I'd been happily smothered by for years were just. gone. a few remained here and there, but it was fragmented if not completely cut off before too long and, well, I was scared

I was, for all intents and purposes, alone

but....then I started to watch this show that'd been recommended to me a few times, from before the voices faded. I'd written it off bc I didn't really care for CG shows, they always felt so empty and weird to me at the time, but the season was still ongoing and it wasn't as if I had much else to do, so I watched this episode called Stormy Weather and, not to sound too dramatic, but my life sorta changed

I loved it from the start, the style, the banter, the story. the animation was shockingly good, it felt alive. the characters were a total treat to see interact, the designs all but perfect to my eye. I got immediately hooked and only went further in the more I watched. slowly but surely I caught up on what was out there, watched what was coming out and at the same time, I sorta....reinvented myself, too, bc of this show

I made this blog, spread my wings a bit and tested some waters here and there in ways totally different from what I'd done before - I wasn't always Noble, yanno - and though it horrified me as someone that's just. terrible at talking to people, at making friends and forming connections, I still did what I could - I basically did what I did to get my first crush's attention actually, in that I just sorta danced and made a clown out of myself. we dated for 12 hours, funnily enough, didn't last. hope she's doing well. anyway

all that dancing, as it were, eventually caught the eye of someone I still consider one of my best friends to this day, who back then slowly hooked me up with who have since become some of my other best friends - I have a lotta best friends, okay? but the bond we've formed, though most of them are sorta on the outs with the show and despite us all being busy lately, it meant a lot to me - they mean a lot to me. they've....saved me, genuinely. I'm sure you can pick up the subtext here, but just as well, the show saved me, too

because I kept bumping into more people and forming connections as a result of this shared interest in a silly French cartoon, my confidence changed - I started behaving more like my senior year self in that nothing really stopped me, I didn't feel as shy or bashful or timid. soon I found myself in servers, talking with names I'd never imagined knocking up against, getting into contact with people I'd otherwise never dreamed of talking with, much less becoming friends with

now I have this web of people in my life, people I trust and care for that are amazing creators, amazing people both inside and outside of fandom, now I'm close to or otherwise good friends with a list of names that could take up most of this post if I started rambling them off. and just like that, I'd found myself a home again, I felt like I belonged somewhere again, there were voices again and the silence was gone

and I still struggle sometimes, we all do, I'm not as creative on here as I want to be - and I look to change that soon bc deep down I do believe in my ability now, something that wasn't true some few years ago - and I still struggle to talk with some of those I want to befriend, but I have talked to most of them, I've engaged on a level I never could just a few years back and....I have people I can turn to again, that I trust and love. that I hope love me too, y'know, not romantically or anything just, familial? friendly? you understand, I'm sure, anyway, point is, I was terribly alone for a long while, and gradually I've found myself in a place I find comfort in again, surrounded by friends that I'd do anything for

and it's all because of Miraculous, a show I still love

yeah there's been ups and downs, things I've liked a ton and didn't care much for, but I'm still with the show - I will be with the show. I thought season 5 was maybe the best of the bunch, at least on par with S1 imo, I'm stupidly excited about season 6 despite not being so sure of it just a few months ago. and above all else I just love watching it, posting about it and creating for it. it gets so much hate, I know there's constant discourse and there are genuine issues with it, but....again, I love it, I'll always love it. even if I drift away, if my interests shift or things take a turn, for any issue I take with the show myself, I think I'll always love this show, thick or thin

because this show saved me, it's made me a better person and gave me a life I'd once feared I'd lost, and for as silly as all of this might sound I'll always be grateful to that bug and cat team

anyway. that's enough sap from me for a bit, just kinda retrospective in light of the finale, kinda crazy to think about where I was 8 years back compared to now tbh. and not just the whole "oh yeah I'm a girl" thing lol

#y'know I had a talk tag once upon a time. no idea what it was nowadays. lmao

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ghoulangerlee · 10 months ago

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Ohhhhh my god I feel you on this whole bc shot thing. I've been on it for a little over two years because I'm trans and getting my period was so bad for my emotional wellbeing I had to do something. I didn't wand an IUD, and I forget to take my medication a lot so the pill wasn't ideal. I was told by two different obgyns that they wouldn't consider removing the uterus becsuse at the time I was only 21 and ""What if you chsnge your mind!!!"" 🙄🙄🙄🙄 so I really dint have a whole lot of options.

On one hand I like not having to worry about the whole thing for 10/11 weeks at a time but on the other hand I also really like not having feeble bones! I've been taking calcium supplements but the pills are huge and I worry it isn't covering the issue entirely. I don't get enough calcium to begin with becsuse I can't drink milk and stuff, so I worry that it's a bandage on a knife wound so to speak.

Last time I was at the clinic for my shot I raised the issue again and the doctor there was like "wait you're literally trans and have no plans for children why the hell don't we just get rid of it????" And I'm just sitting there like why the fuck did the last two people I see not give me this option!?

Anyways I need to discuss the idea more with her but oh oh to get this fucking thing out of me....oh to dream....

Sorry rambling in your asks but this sucks and I sure hope we both get the cool fun and fresh resolution :)

oh my god anon, i feel you. i've been on it for...almost 5 years now? I think around August 2019 is when I started it finally. It was unfortunately the only option we could find for me. I actually can't have any bc that has actual estrogen in it because of my high blood pressure and the family history of blood clots. And like, at first it was fine and dandy! I was okay with it because after 7 weeks of a heavy cycle I was so exhausted and just ready for it to be over. And it's been gone! pretty regularly for the last several years.

Sometimes if I'm incredibly stressed it will sneak up on me but it's like, leagues better than it was. Max 3 days and barely anything at all. So, very manageable for someone who y'know. had it much worse (to the point it would cause my iron to drop significantly all the time).

I hate obgyns who refuse to do things because "you might regret it later on" like, no actually I think I'll regret having this thing inside my body I don't intend to use and having to stay on the shot for the rest of my life. I'm in a same-sex relationship, I don't ever intend to physically carry a child, I just want the thing gone lmao. I've told obgyns that in the past and yet they still insisted on telling me that I might "regret" it.

So, my surgeon did mention that viactiv is a good supplement, which is apparently a chocolate calcium chew haha. My biggest concern is that I have osteoarthritis and being over 30 now, my bone density doesn't come back as fast as it does for someone in their 20s. My doctor is also concerned about it too. I mean like also the weight gain is terrible too, like holy shit it's been the worst (strong ass bc, strong ass side effects I GUESS)

THOUGH APPARENTLY there is a bone density therapy that they can do which will help with keeping your bones strong. I didn't know about it and no one ever thought to mention it to me when they started talking about my bone density lmao. Normal Calcium supplements make me extremely nauseous and I can't take them, so I just stopped lmao.

And I think from there, that's when I sort of decided I wanted to look into getting rid of my uterus for good. Like, I don't plan to have kids, I don't need it. Why should I continue this shot, why should I keep putting myself through this.

Also, idk if you've experienced it, or if its just because I been on it for so long or if it's something else entirely, but in place of the period I just get cramps :) really bad ones :) it's great and what I've always wanted from bc haha.

honestly that's a good doctor, why haven't they suggested it sooner? Literally the surgeon I'm seeing is, ironically, the first obgyn I saw when I switched insurances and go to where I go now, and from the beginning she was like "you're in a monogamous same-sex relationship whenever you want the surgery we can just take care of that" and idk I wasn't in the right place then, I think, to consider it.

yeah it's a long process from my understanding, we're building a case right now, as my surgeon called it, gonna have some imaging stuff done, a few more tests and then we'll set the date and just. remove it. thankfully, no early menopause for me (ironically the One Thing i was most worried about?? I don't know, I've got so much going on, I didn't want to even consider dealing with menopause bc guess what the treatment for that is-- the same damn shot I'm trying to escape lmao) ANON!!! I wish the best for both of us!!! Let me know how things go!! (if you're comfortable!!)

#menstruation tw #anon asks #anon you never gotta apologize for rambling in my asks pls know that im always here to talk <3 #i am dealing with the same thing you are it seems (the hell shot)#weight tw

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louistory · 20 days ago

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Intro post

Hello, I wanted to make this post to make a sort of comeback into the fandom. i don't really know how active it may be now so bare with me.

Basics :

Name: Anaïs ( pronounced [a.na.is]) Gender: Female Age: 28 Country: France Languages: French and english

About me :

- I've studied english and art history (first year only), then IT - I work as an IT Technician, but I've previously worked in the service industry (as a cook and as a waitress) - I enjoy writing, reading, hiking, quiet nights in, autumn, coffee, music and quite a lot of TV Shows - I'm not a native english speaker, I can speak and understand most written and spoken things, but I will obviously make mistakes (especially between US and UK words/slang)

My One Direction History

I used to have a One Direction dedicated blog when I was 16 up to when I was 22/23. I can't remember the name for the life of me, but I wasn't a popular blogger. I have been of fan of theirs since I was 16, it actually began because of Mr.X trending on twitter (if you all can remember this tale...) I then saw the livestream of their MSG performance and I was hooked (I mean, I just heard "I want" and decided it was an amazing song lmao). I went to two concerts, one in 2013 for the Take Me Home Tour, and one in 2014 for the Where We Are Tour. I consider myself incredibly lucky for that. Definitely was a Louis' girl, and still am to this day. To be honest I had horrible teenage years. They were my rock during this difficult time. I dedicated so much time to watching/listening to them, I even learned how to speak english just to be able to read fanfiction about them. I gradually stopped listening to them as much after their "pause", especially because their last album Made In The AM was really difficult for me to listen to. It came out on 13/11/15, which is the same date as the Bataclan attacks in France. I listened to the album to calm down the anxiety that day and then couldn't listen to it anymore as it reminded me of that terrible day. It is still difficult now, especially with "If I Could Fly" (which I sadly really love)

Why this blog ?

Liam's passing made me realise how much I missed my boys and how much I still loved them, and this tumblr community. So I decided to come back and see if it was as active as it was back then. I hope I'll get to make some new friends, please don't hesitate to talk to me I will gladly respond.

Other information :

This is a sideblog, my main blog is here so if you follow me on here I will follow you back with this username. Dividers are from this lovely tumblr user

#intro post #about me #mine #one direction

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scolopendress-tag · 4 years ago

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I said I'd make a post detailing my kid Asra working for Lucio theory in this post so here it is!

So Let's get STARDED.

So! To start off, how it began. We do know when Asra and Muriel were kids, Lucio came to them each seperately with a deal.

Essentially: work for me, or I'll hurt your friend.

This was the sentiment he repeated for both of them. So, not wanting the other to be harmed, they both agree - unaware of the other's deal.

For Muriel, it was playing heel/excecutioner at the coleseium. For Asra, it was doing... Well, we never know, aside from he worked under Lucio. But that's what we are here to discuss in any case.

Continued under the read more, for the sake of people's dashes.

Now presumably, if I got my timeline right, Asra at this time would've been around 12 or 13. We don't know much about how Asra was when he was younger, other than that he has certainly changed.

It's also worth noting that it's not amiss to say they were both also still homeless at the time, and the hut hadn't come into the play until after.

Asra was still living on the streets.

This all isn't overly important for any of my claims later, but perhaps someone else could make something of it. It does provide us with some framing for the situation as a whole, though.

Now onto Asra's time under Lucio. I don't know that we have any indication of how long it was, but presumably at least a year if not more.

We do also know that Lucio knew who Asra was. Both in that he knew Aisha and Salim had a kid, and that he knew Asra was said kid.

This is bring this up because we know Aisha and Salim were incredibly talented, and likely incredibly powerful. Lucio wouldn't settle for any run of the mill magician or alchemist for the work he needed. So he must've had some idea that Asra may take after that power as well.

To top it off, he also interacted and talked with the dock kids he also used, (two of which would actually later become palace guards,) and seeing as this is seemingly how he learned of Muriel, it's not off to think that this is also how he heard of Asra again to start. The kids knew of Asra's magic, and roughly where he was, and could've even continued talking about both Muriel and Asra to Lucio for unknown amounts of time.

So now Lucio knows that the kid of his two powerful practitioners of magic is not only still around, but taking after them as well.

If Muriel's intimidating size and physical power are what drew Lucio to him, why wouldn't Asra's considerable metaphysical power and talents draw Lucio in as well?

We know how much Lucio loves power, and that he has an interest in magic because of it, as mentioned in the main story. (no ss sorry... If you have one send so I can add. )

Plus, homeless kid in a vulnerable spot. Easy pickings.

That's what I think this whole thing was about, really. It's all power. Though Asra likely didn't have the full scope of power he does in the current game, he was probably still considerably talented, and was only getting better.

What Lucio specifically probably wanted from Asra then was either to be taught how to use that power, to use Asra for things that required it, and/or use his power for entertainment akin to how he used Muriel.

I think out of these however, using him for his power was most likely. Why? (And teaching him now, more on that further down)

(Sorry for bad quality lmao it's a small image. Also thanks to @8-bit-space for showing these to me like months ago. As you can see I can't stop thinking abt it)

These are screenshots from the old prologue. While they're not canon any more, there's reason to believe they still hold merit as to how Lucio feels about Asra.

Two things to me are major here. First is the "powerful potent magic," and how it's the "real deal," equating to a large part of how he views Asra yet again tying back to a heavy interest in his power. Now, you could argue this relates to using his powers in the palace during the plague, but the second point stands out even more to me.

"The one who broke him for me?"

What this implies to me is that Lucio could never quite get all the way through to Asra or control him when he was younger, and he's been dying to do so. He wanted Asra broken, presumably so that he'll become essentially a tool for him to use for his skill and not put up a fight- something Asra likely did as a child.

Because it seems that Lucio for the most part relied on control through fear when it came to Asra, threatening to hurt Muriel, lying to him about how he executed his parents, likely other things as well. But things seem to point to that never quite working like he had hoped.

This could allude to this as well. Though "impossible" is something Asra's been called a few times, namely also by Julian, there's no reason to assume Lucio wasn't also including his work with him as a kid in "always". Impossible to hate could be his draw to Asra for his power, his talent, his skills, the prospect of which I'm sure Lucio found practically mouthwatering. Impossible to love could be his stubbornness or reluctance to do what Lucio wants, always pushing against him or being hard to deal with, both as a kid and during the plague.

And lines like this, where he calls him a coward. I find it hard to relate this to the plague ritual as he was for the most part willingly helping with that, so it could be resenment for when Asra eventually ran off as a kid, unwilling to put up with him any longer, or his reluctance to do certain things for him then in general.

We know, and it has even been mentioned by a character within the canon, that Asra can be incredibly stubborn, to back that up. Plus, he could've been even harder to work with then both being a kid and as I mentioned earlier he has changed from how he was then, so he could've had more spunk to him or such.

This also easily means that what Lucio was trying to get Asra to do then was something Asra was quite obviously opposed to. Being used for his power is already degrading enough, but there could be more to it.

You'll notice in the post that was linked at the top (the reason I'm writing this) I mentioned pushing Asra to his physical limits and magical extremes. This could be one of the reasons for a push back.

If Lucio was having Asra do things for him involving magic, it's not out of pocket to assume he'd practically run him into the ground- I'm sure he really wouldve loved testing the limits of what Asra could REALLY do.

Wether it be huge expendure of power all at once, or tons of smaller things one after the other, it would absolutely take it's toll. We are shown a few times that using magic can exhaust someone, and I don't remember if this is shown in canon ever (tell me if so!) but pushing it even further could definitely lead to other things such as passing out, (Or nosebleeds, for the aesthetic,) alongside likely being incredibly painful and draining, both mentally and physically.

Basically, abusing his powers and the body that commanded them. It's also possible that the stubborness to work with Lucio could also be partially percieved because of this- Lucio taking Asra's literal physical inability to continue as defiance.

Another reason for push back from Asra would be making him do morally compromising things. This is a little more vague, but intimidation is a common headcanon I see for what Lucio made Asra do, and that could tie in here. Other things could be meddling in things and business he shouldn't, but again, it's a vague thing. Make of it what you will. Fucked up stuff all around.

[EDIT - TEACHING LUCIO]

(THANK YOU @tea-tye for showing me these, and credits to @hangedman-magician for the video they came from!!!!!!!)

...I cannot BELIEVE I forgot this, I KNEW I was missing something. Especially when I was fairly certain I remember Lucio being obsessed with the idea of magic. SO, MOVING ON,

There's not terribly much to pick apart here as it's rather direct- Asra saying he has in fact tried to teach Lucio magic. So in my eyes this solidifies that this was a component of Asra's time under Lucio. I still think my points about Lucio treatment (pushing Asra to his limits) stand, as well.

This can also tie in the stubborness mentioned as, well, can you imagine teaching Lucio? Asra backs this up by saying nothing he has ever said stuck with Lucio, and you know how Lucio gets when things don't go his way. He would've blamed his inability to learn on Asra, likely.

Looking to other quotes mentioned: the 'broke him' line still rings to me like he was trying to use Asra in other ways, and the 'coward' line could go either way from refusing to teach Lucio certain things, or refusing to do certain things for Lucio when he was merely being used. The "impossible" line could also go for others, as trying to teach someone like Lucio would've undoubtedly caused some head butting.

This is certainly really exciting and interesting to me as it gives a more complete picture on the exact situation at hand here. I still stay by my reasoning for Lucio simply using Asra as well on top of being taught because it seems highly likely that Lucio would've been too impatient to learn to do certain things himself, and like I said as well, I don't doubt he also just wanted to see what Asra was REALLY capable of. Something he could've saw as a tantalizing insight into the kind of power he could aquire of this kid would just... work with him.

NOW we have a MUCH clearer answer as to what exactly Asra was likely doing under Lucio, or at this point, almost certainly doing. It's a sad picture for Asra of course, but with this you can draw some interesting points as to how he could've been affected by this, as I'm sure it would've left some kind of imprint on him.

Sure it may not have been as traumatic as what Muriel went through, but when you look at it, it's hard to say it DIDN'T leave it's scars. If we consider all the points presented in this post truth we have:

A 12/13 yo homeless child, threatened with his friend's life to work for the Count that he knew was the one responsible for orphaning him and making him homeless in the first place.

Said child believing his parents are still alive, and as we see in Travel at Night, could very likely still be trying to find them. In a situation like Asra's that glimmer of hope probably was a big deal in helping him push on. This may also be a reason he agreed on top of Muriel's safety.

While working under the count, he is told that his parents were executed, no doubt devastating. The manner in which this was mentioned is up for debate, and could affect exactly how it was taken. Options could be Lucio joking or bragging about it (treating it as trivial or an accomplishment), or using it to threaten Asra, (as in I killed your parents, I'll kill you too,) both would work when it comes to controlling by fear.

It is also mentioned that Lucio told him the reason for his parents execution is that they messed up his gold arm, so Asra also has the knowledge that his parents were killed over something so unbelievably trivial.

Being used as a source of power and nothing else, both for teaching and pure work/entertainment, all for the man who killed his parents, day after day.

Being pushed to physically painful and mentally draining limits, expending so much energy that he completely exhausts himself, day after day.

Likely taking all sorts of verbal abuse from Lucio, day after day.

Like mentioned earlier, it seems clear that Lucio wanted to break Asra, so some other form of trying to chip away at his psyche to make him more convenient for Lucio is likely as well.

Those points alone, to yet again a CHILD no less, seem more than enough to cause some traumatic impact, and depending on certain specifics of what exactly went on during that time, it could be worse. I may make a post looking into the long lasting effects of this on Asra, I may not. It would mostly be headcanon regardless. If you want to add your hc relating to this situation though, I'll gladly reblog it!

And now that we are closing out, it's time to revise my summary. So, without further ado, THIS is what I think was going on during this time.

Lucio knows of Asras existence and parentage.

Lucio learns Asra is around and that he's got power.

Lucio LOVES power, so he threatens Asra into working for him.

Lucio uses Asra for his power and to be taught how to use it for himself.

While using Asra for his knowledge and power, runs him into the ground by pushing his limits to physical and magical degrees, possibly even moral.

Asra pushes back against a lot of this, or is at least percieved to, frustrating Lucio.

Lucio does what he can to try and control Asra even more, primarily via fear, but can't seem to crack him.

Eventually it's too much, and Asra leaves. Likely when the plague hit like Muriel, but it's possible it could've been somewhat sooner. Lucio is PISSED, because he wanted that magical power all to himself.

Less related, I can see Lucio trying to brush it off and pretending to be fine with it, excuse being "he was too difficult to work with, anyways," or something.

...And then... years later, as far as Lucio sees it, Asra comes crawling back- and he's tamed down to a degree! He's actually working with him. Lucio might not know what or who did it, but Asra is finally broke for him, and I'm sure he was absolutely ecstatic to have that power back in his hands- and more than ever before.

Think of all of this as you would like!

At the end this is all still speculative, so definitely feel free to make your own points or say if you feel any different abt anything- expansions or counters on this theory/headcanon welcome!

And if you also have any other screenshots or info not here that could add to the theory or change the outlook of certain things definitely add them!!! I feel like I'm missing stuff for sure, and my memory has probably muddled some things (hopefully I didn't get anything wrong, though.)

And @asrascherry thanks for the offer in helping word my hcs also! I forgot to say that. This one is just so long I wouldve felt bad bringing it all to you 😔 it's probably still messy as a result but I tried lmao (worried it's repetitive or unclear 😬)

Uh yeah! That's mostly it for NOW.

+All the love to Asra for going through so much I'm so sorry bb,,

Thanks for reading!

#asra #the arcana #the arcana game #asra alnazar #asra the arcana

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arcaneglitch · 2 years ago

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giving my unsolicited opinion on today's lore

first of all, they went live right when my class started. uncool

joking aside, I NEED wilbur to get his "phil's advice is actually shit moment" like Now

The museum stuff was pretty pog. We got them INTO the camarvan so that's a big W

This one is for those of you that Know

The bit where wilbur tried to claim the crater as being his work was a bit confusing since I'm pretty sure I remember him finding out that L'Manberg was rebuilt and then destroyed by Phil and Techno in the 1 year anniversary stream (iirc Dream wasn't mentioned that time)

Wilbur jumping off the L'Manberg wall

Eret really called the final control room "traumatic for all of us" bestie which one of you got murdered in there and which one of you set up four people to get murdered in there?

Wilbur immediately trying to leave after apologizing = direct consequences of phil's terrible advice. Eret stopping him was a bit of a mixed bag to me, good that they were insisting that this was something they need to address but also felt a bit like "stay here so I can blame you some more"

"I need to know why you betrayed us" -> pot meet kettle

I wish wilbur shouted more, I want to see some fighting for once (hopefully when the niki stream happens?)

Eret mentioning that she tried to bring him back + built the shrine = good, I liked that

"We're both traitors" 🤏🤏

The justification for betraying L'Manberg = bad, HATED that. Wanting things to go back to "how they were" is all well and good if you completely overlook WHY L'Manberg was created in the first place. Wilbur wasn't the problem guy in that scenario, Dream's the one that wanted everyone under his control

I liked the bit about Eret throwing away the crown, that was pog. Wilbur throwing away something would have worked if it was actually him doing it rather than Eret demanding it of him. I liked that the TNT was the thing to get thrown out but it didn't really feel like it changed Wilbur's ultimate plan to leave/die once he's spoken to everyone

Also, funny how we once again get someone in full netherite demanding a person with basically nothing throw something away (cough cough phil and tommy)

I'll let these speak for themselves lmao

Very hyped for wilbur to return to pogtopia, I hope he and niki yell at each other

Felt weird that eret tried to suggest wilbur apologize to fundy (also when they mentioned fundy's adoption papers). Like sure, wilbur should talk to fundy but on his own terms (goes hand in hand with the throwing away the TNT thing)

#dream smp #dsmp

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ladywinterwitch · 4 years ago

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Run Away (Eight- What You Gotta Do)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger! Reader

Summary: You and Steve complete each other. Your love is that strong and devoted kind of love that pushes people to things like marriage, making a family. You couldn't imagine that a baby would be something you really wished, until the possibility wasn't your choice anymore.

Warnings: A bit of angst, pregnancy talk, mentions of injuries, mentions of abandonement (mild), fluff, reader is still an emotional rollercoaster, cursing and swearing, smut, unprotected sex (too late for these two lmao), oral sex (f recieving), brief mentions of body insicurities, Bucky’s a puppy dog.

Words Count: 5289

A/n: Part eight! I can’t believe that I’ve actually come this far lmao. Plus, me posting stuff with less than 44827 years of distance with each other? A miracle. I always said that I would wrap it up at 10 chapters,but while writing this chapter I realized that I will need one or two extra chapters + the epilogue. We’ll see. For now I’m happy to be able to write lol. Series masterlist here, main masterlist here. Enjoy <3

ps: Chris’s look in that gif,,,chile

(gif not mine)

In the following week you saw Steve once a day, just to assure that he was doing fine. He wasn' sleeping in your shared room for the moment, but in a spare bedroom. You knew that you were probably being harsh with him, but you were so mad. It wasn't the first time that he did something stupid to try and save others. Hell, just think about that damned plane crash that put him in the ice in the first place.

You understood the reasons why, and basically everyone tried to talk with you and kinda 'sugar coat it' but the issue wasn't that you didn't understand: the issue was that he couldn't afford to think only about himself. Was it selfish on your behalf to think that way? Maybe. But you couldn't help it. You told yourself that it would've been different if you were just married, or just lovers. His decisions would've still been his. But now it's different. In less than six months he would've become a father. And that comes with responsibility. Wasn't he the first to tell you how important it was for you to put aside your job, for months or maybe even forever, just for the wellbeing of the creature inside you? That kid is yours just as much as he's his.

You and Bucky went out for a shopping trip that afternon. You would've asked Wanda, but she and Vision went to Clint's farm for a few days to see him and his family. Steve still had to be inside the tower, since he wasn't fully healed yet. You knew that he was watching a football game with Sam now, while Tony and Bruce were working on a new project, and Thor went to Asgard for a while to go check that Loki and Odin weren't at each other's throats.

You didn't mind Bucky's company at all. And in any case it wasn't like you felt like going out with Steve, not just yet. The brunette drove you both to the mall where he parked and then you went inside.

-So, what absolutely exciting and girly shops I have to visit today?- he asked while you curled your hand around his bicep. You laughed, looking up at him while you walked.

-Well, this mama is getting bigger every day, so I really can't wear my old clothes. I wouldn't even fit in them, and I can't go on with you guys' hoodies and t-shirts. I mean, I'm still a woman. Who said I can't look good while pregnant?- you responded, dragging him to a maternity clothes shop. As soon as you entered like half of the women in the shop turned to look at Bucky. You glanced at him and saw that he blushed and was looking everywhere except them. You bit you lip to not smile while you started to look around at the clothes. You made sure to engage in conversations with him to try and take the attention away.

-Damn homie, I think you just made those women regret their partners.- you said lowly so only he could hear you, and being a super enhanced supersolier, he did hear you very clearly. He snapped his head towards you with a look of disbelief on his face. His expression was so funny that you couldn't help but laugh. He looked around quickly then got closer to you.

-Stop it! It's already embarassing without you pointing it out.- he whined with a low voice. You stopped laughing but you couldn't help but smile, pressing your lips together.

-It's just so funny to me, because I understand these women. Turns out that pregnancy doesn't only make you sick, but also terribly horny.- you rose an eyebrow and he face palmed himself. You laughed again.

-Too much information, doll.- he groaned. You chuckled, putting in his hands a bunch of clothes. He caught them with both arms and followed you like a puppy to the changing rooms.

-Thank you kind sir, now I'm gonna see if they fit then I promise we're out of here.- you joked, hanging the clothes into the changing room. You closed the tent and he let himself fall delicately on one of the couches. He looked around while he waited but it turned out to be a bad idea when he saw the women from the various isles and even the shop's staff looking at him. He awkwardly smiled and then looked back at the closed changing room, sinking in his seat and covering the side of his face with a hand nonchalantly. He heard a few muffled giggles but no ne bothered him.

-Y/n are you done?- he asked, more embarassed than anything. Suddenly she pulled back the tent and started to gather a few of the garments in her hand. Bucky's gaze got caught on her figure. It was essentially the first time that she wore something fitting and not exaggerately large, so her belly was fully on display, even more so since she was turned to the side. The man felt a mix of emotions all at once and didn't quite catch the first time she called him.

-Buck, did you hear me?- he snapped out of it and stood to his feet, blinking a few times.

-It looks great.- he commented. You had on a nice flowery minidress, the sleeves were short and puffy, the square neckline showed just enough cleavage to remain classy, the breast area was tight but just below the skirt was soft and fell perfectly on your figure, showing the belly. You looked at him with a smile, chuckling slightly.

-Yeah, it fits well doesn't it? I'm getting these,- he gave a three dresses, two shirts, two t-shirts, two pairs of jeans and a pencil skirt to him, while she had other stuff in her own hands. -And I'm leaving these.- she sighed.

-Would you do me a favor? I'm dropping these off, meanwhile could you go to the pay desk? I'll be there in a sec.- he nodded and you thanked him while you walked away to the isles. Bucky walked towards the counter and dropped the garments on the desk, giving a quick smile to the girl behind it. He pulled out from the back pocket of his jeans the wallet and then the credit card, which was obviously Tony's, and put it on the glass above the counter. He waited a few seconds until the clerk, which was a nice girl with black hair and amber like eyes, spoke to him.

-So, how far are you guys?- she asked. Bucky almost choked on air at that phrase.

-Oh we- - he was about to say, but you arrived at his side and saved the situation. You smiled kindly at the girl and gave a pat on Bucky's arm.

-I'll be exactly of five months in a week, and he's more like the uncle than the father.- she tileted her head towards the brunette. The clerk smirked.

-Is he now?- she said rethorically. Then added, -That would be 277$. You're paying with cash or card?- Bucky gave her the Visa and she thanked him, finishing the payment. Y/n glanced at him with a knowing look and a slight smirk. He rolled his eyes and shook his head a little, she furrowed her brows as if to ask 'Why?' and he just mouthed 'No', so she didn't push. For now.

-Thank you for your purchase, congratulations and we hope to see you soon.- the girl said with courtesy, her gaze lingering a bit on the man, whom didn't return the look. You could see the slight disppointment of the girl.

-Thank you, have a nice day.- you saluted her and then headed out with Bucky. An hour had already passed and you still had in mind to buy a few things, but first you needed a break.

-I desperately want a piece of cake. What do you think?- you elbowed him delicately to catch his attention. He turned his head and nodded, still carrying the two bags. You arrived at the mall's cafe and ordered. He picked an iced coffe and you a slice of cheesecake and some tea, knowing that coffe wasn't that good for pregnancy. You took a seat at one of the tables outside, even tho you were still technically inside the mall.

-So, wanna tell me why you didn't accept the clear as the sun advances that the pretty shop assistant did?- you brought the fork to your mouth. He huffed and shrugged.

-Because I am not interested. I don't think I'm in the right mindspace to date right now.- he responded. You exhaled, tilting your head slightly to the side.

-Buck, I know that it didn't end up that smoothly with Nat, but she's gone.- she realized how that sounded like and quickly corrected herself, -I mean, not gone. But...gone, you know?- you cringed at your own words and he snorted.

-Very smooth y/n.- he joked, earning a glare from you.

-Shut up, I'm trying to help here. What I meant that while I understand that things with Nat didn't end up in the best of ways, she went away to give both of you the space you need to get back on your feet.- you paused, drinking a sip of tea, then offring the last bite of cake to him. He shook his head, giving you a lopsided smile.

-Don't worry, it's all yours.- you pointed your finger at him, while chewing the cheesecake. He chuckled.

-Right answer. Anyways, what I'm trying to say here, Buck, is that you have to allow yourself to try again. Because you deserve it. What do you tell me about that person you said you were interested in? I've never seen you with anyone in the last three months.- he looked to the side for a moment casually.

-They're taken so, yeah.- he simply answered, shrugging while taking a sip of coffe. You got sad all of a sudden. You eyebrows knotted in a sad expression and he noticed, giving you a small smile.

-Hey, don't do that. It's okay. I'm not like heartbroken or shit. I'm happy for her.- he assured you, -She.. well she has a family. She deserves it, so I'm happy for her.- he nodded, smiling softly. You smiled at him too, still with a hint of sadness. He took a nother sip of coffe an then raised an eyebrow, looking at you.

-Why are you crying?- he asked confused. You furruwed your brows in confusion and wiped your fingers under your eyes, realizing that a few tears had escaped. At that point without a reason, you started to feel worse and embarassed and a mess, so you sterted to actually sob a little. Bucky got up and moved his chair next to yours, hugging you.

-Hey what's wrong? I promise I'm alright.- he laughed to try and lighten the situation. You hiccupped into his chest.

-I- I know..it's just.. I don't know, these stupid hormones are making me act hysterical.- you had sittle sobs coming out every now and then. He kissed your head while he stroked your back.

-It's okay, you're not hysterical.- he chuckled softly making you smile. You pulled away from him looking in his eyes.

-I'm a mess aren't I?- Bucky wiped a little smudge of mascara under her eye, and then smiled at her lovingly.

-You look just fine, darling.- she hugged him, whispering a 'thank you, I love you' in his ear.

-I love you too- he answered.

After that, they finished their drink and Y/n told Bucky that she wanted to order a few things for the baby so they did just that. They went in a baby-stuff shop and she choose and placed some orders for a crib, a baby seat for both the car and the kitchen and the changing table. You didn't wanted to buy them right away, so you told the shop to bring them at the tower when they wanted.

When you exited the shop, it was already six thirty pm, so you decided to head back at the tower.

In the car, you told Bucky about your idea to get a midwife to help you during your pregnancy and especially when it'll be time to deliver the baby.

-I don't know y/n... I mean I think that you don't need a midwife or some other stranger to take care of you and the baby. You have Steve. You have me, and Sam, Wanda and the rest of the team. Bruce has basically become a doctor of everything, I'm sure that helping to deliver a child isn't that hard.- he shrugged while keeping his eyes on the road.

-I can't and wouldn't expect you all to babaysit me for another four months, Bucky. You have missions, classes, a you know, your own lives.- he glared at you, probably wanting to intervene and contraddict you, but he remained quiet in the end.

-And, you really can't expect Bruce to handle this. He's a fucking physician for God's sake. He's absolutely amazing, but a delivery? No, that would be too much even for him. And I would be kinda embarassed, for crying out loud.- you added with a high pitched voice. You absentmindely started to cradle your belly. He thought about it for a few seconds.

-I don't know y/n, you know how I am with strangers. But in any case it's your and Steve's decision. Please, talk to him. He's been miserable this week without you. He wouldn't shut up about how he was sorry, and stupid and in love with you and that he misses your smile, your belly and I don't know, I stopped listening after a while.- he said exasperatedly. You suppressed a smile.

-Really? - you asked sheepishly. He turned his head to look at you for a second before smiling knowingly.

-You know it's true. Your fucking married, for God's sake.- he said, tired of you two being idiots. He could just imagine how it'll be when you'll become parents. You will be great at it, but also a mess at the same time.

-Hey, Whiny Soldier, how was shopping? - Sam shouted when he saw the two of you coming in the room with your hands full of bags. You didn't see him, but you just knew that he pursed his lips and shook his head.

You came back at the tower just in time for dinner. Vision and Wanda had aprons tied on their chests, while the others were just chilling in the common room. Steve was there too, beside Bruce.

-Shopping was productive, thank you very much.- you answered pointing for Bucky to put down the bags.

-Let me help you take these to your room.- he offered, but you gave him a look and he understood immediately, putting them down. You smiled and kissed his cheek.

-Thank you for being my human cart today.- his jaw dropped, pretending to be offended.

-Oooh- Sam howled and the others laughed. Steve smiled slightly, still mortified by your little 'cold shoulder week' thing.

-You're lucky I can't tickle you to death right now.- he pointed his finger at you before walking to the fridge to pour himself a glass of water.

-Yeah, yeah, like you say big guy.- you teased him. You paused, shifting your gaze to Steve. He was wearing a blue hoodie and gray sweatpants, his dirty blonde hair were starting to get a bit long at the sides and a few strands fell on his forehead, while his jaw was covered with a slight scruff. His puppy dog eyes met yours and you couln't help but melt a little.

-Steve, are you well enough to help me with these?- you asked and even before you could finish he was on his feet. He almost tripped from how fast he tried to reach you.

-Yes I'm perfectly well I mean I'd love to help you. I mean obv- - you raised an eyebrow and he stopped, looking down. The whole team was watching in silence like it was a damn movie.

-I'm rambling, I'm sorry.- he said lowly. You sighed and places three of the four bags in his hands.

-C'mon. And you all, get a life.- you called them out while you two walked to the elevator. A few minutes later, after the short, silent, trip, you arrived to your room. He placed the bags on the bed and you did the same after closing the door behind you.

-Help me take off the price tags.- you invited him. He grabbed the bag, taking out the first garment. It was a white baby onesie, with Captain America's shield logo on it in white, blue, and red. His breath got caught in his throat and he suddenly let out a sob.

You snapped your head up in confusion, your features softening when you saw him. He sat on the bed, head down, onesie still in his hand. You put down the dress you had in your hands and went to sit next to him, since it would've been really uncomfortable for you to bend on your legs now. You hand went istinctively to rub his back.

-Can we talk?- he asks with broken voice. You tilt your head to the side to look at him with the shadow of a smile on your face.

-Only if you stop crying. Or else none of us will be able to talk at all.- he chuckles slightly making you smile lovingly. He wraps his big arms around you, nuzzling his face in your neck, your collarbones exposed due to the large shirt you were wearing. The wave of relief that washed over you in that moment was hard to describe.

-I missed you so much, baby. I couldn't stand the thought of you being mad at me. I'm sorry for being so impulsive.- he sniffed while he talked. You nodded, cupping his face gently. Steve melted into your touch.

-I know you are. And I'm sorry too. I know that I've been harsh with you these past days, it's just...- he waited patiently, -You're not responsable for only yourself anymore. I understand, please trust me, I understand what you wanted to do and also that you feel like it's your duty to do that. And it kinda is, but my point is- you shook your head realizing that you weren't really explaining yourself.

-What I mean is that you cannot put your life behind other's. Not for me, not even for the team. We're grown ass adults okay? Fow how much you can love us and we can love you, we are our own person. But this- you placed his hand on your belly, -This had been a choice. Your, mine. We both are responsable for this life. The same way I gave up my job, and the lessons. Now, I'm not asking you to stop going on missions, but I'd like you to be with me as much as possible. And that when you go, you'll be careful. Please, Steve.- you say softly, almost in the verge of tears. Again. You've cried more in five months than in your whole life probably.

-You're right. It was pretty hypocritical of me to get mad at you for the same reason in the first place.- he shook his head in disappointment. You rolled your eyes, adding -Work. I think we'll have to rearrange ourselves in this department.- you smiled and he laughed, agreeing.

-So, are we gonna get these off the bed and use the space in a better way or what?- your lips curled in a seductive smirk that quite shocked him. He recovered quickly, jumping on his feet and placing the bags on the ground in a split second. You threw you head back laughing at his eagerness, but you honestly couldn't blame him. Your hormones were a mess and your horniness at level 100, but you often were either sick, tired, hungry or he was. And not to mention the missions that separated you. So let's say that since you got pregnant the sex decreased noticeably, which was something that you wanted to fix. You phisically missed and needed him.

He returned to you and crashed his lips to yours, and soon enough you were a mess of tongues and lip bites and sucks that got interrupeted just briefly to get your clothes off. He didn't have anything under his hoodie, and you happily noticed that he was completely healed and that his weeks in the tower were due to the lack of new missions. You sincerely hoped it would last. After his hoodie, his pants and boxers were next. With you the situation was a bit more complex: first the light material shirt you had on had to be unbuttoned, then your tank top, the jeans' belt and the pants themselves. When you were left in just your underwear, a plain set of cotton white bra and panties, Steve stopped to look at your body.

He was in awe of you. He rose his hand and started a caress that began on your cheek, his thumb on your bottom lip, then descended to your now fuller breasts, to the curve of your waist to to your baby bump. At that point he bent down on his knees and kissed it softly.

-Hey little one, if you want to take a nap, now it would be a good time.- he whispered directly to the stretched skin. You let out a sound that was halfway between of a whine and a laugh.

-Steve, Jesus Christ.- you covered your face with your hands. You heard him laugh and stand on his feet again. He removed your hands gently, kissing you again with slow, agonizing passion that even let escape a ridiculous whine from your lips at the loss.

-Where were we?- he reached behind your back and unclasped the bra, sliding it off your shoulders and freeing your breasts.

-Mrs and Mr. Rogers I'm sorry to disturb, miss Maximoff would like me to inform you that dinner's ready.- you stopped hearing F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice. You groaned, annoyed at the interruption, but Steve suddenly started to push you on the bed and to lick and suck your boobs.

-Tell miss Maximoff that we have dinner here.- he responded biting softly your nipple, making you whimper.

-It will be done, mr Rogers.-

-Geez Steve, couldn't you be more specific?- you sassed with a deep breath, distracted by your husband's mouth. He snorted moving further down to remove your panties.

-You're already pregnant, couldn't be more obvious than that.- you started to laugh, but it soon became a loud moan when you felt his tongue licking a long stripe on your pussy. You closed your eyes and istinctively wanted to bring your hand in his hair, but you found an obstacle. A medium big, round and naked obstacle. You huffed and Steve stopped, tilting his head to the side, since now you couldn't even see him from between your legs.

-Are you okay?- he asked, worry in his voice. You sat on the bed, helping yourself with your hands. He returned beside you, waiting.

-It's just..ugh I'm so awkward and big and not confident if I have to be honest.- you say for the first time out loud. You wanted to cover yourself by curling your knees to you chest, but again, you swollen stomach didn't allow it. At that point you got even more frustrated.

-Damn it.- Steve places his fingers under your chin and made you look at him. His eyes were serious but not mad.

-Hey, none of that. Do you even realize the miracle your beautiful body is doing? You're creating a whole life in there, baby.- he smiled brightly looking in your eyes, -And by the way, you're still hot as fuck.- that made you laugh. He kept smiling while he made you lay down again on the sheets.

-This beautiful face..these cheeks are even sweeter now.- he peppered them with kisses making you giggle uncontrollably.

-Don't get me started on these ones...- his hands cupped your breasts while his mouth attacked your nipples and the soft skin. You moaned softly, your hand immediately in his short hair, your nails delicately scratching his scalp.

-But you know my most favorite thing?- he kept going, -This.- he was now between your legs, kneeled in front of your stomach. He caressed it and kissed it a few times. Then his gaze locked in yours again. You almost felt hypnotized, both by his velvety voice and his touch.

-I love it because it's round and soft and most importantly because it's giving me a family. A baby. And you know who's giving me all of this? You are. So don't ever be insecure about this wonderful body, please.- you smiled at him softly. Soon enough the mood changed again when he spoke his next words.

-Now, are you gonna let me thank this stunning body like it deserves or not?- you felt the smirk in his voice, his blue eyes hungry. You mirrored his expression propping yourself up on your elbows.

-Would like to see it.- you answer. He huffs out a laugh and reprises what he started doing a few minutes prior. He took good care of you until you came on his tongue, and at that point you grabbed him to crash your lips together. You kept moving and bringing him with you, until he found himself laying down on his back and you straddling his hips. Steve's hands immediately went to your sides, trying to not move and let you do the work, even though all he wanted was to fuck you until you both could't anymore.

You kept you eyes on his while you stroked him a few times before slowly sinking on him. He squeezed both his eyes shut and your hips, huffing a long breath. That could've almost made you laugh if you weren't just as wrecked. Your hips started moving, back and forth, to the sides in painfully slow circular motions. At one point he grabbed your ass, sitting up and making you gasp.

-Doll I'm kinda struggling here- he breathed out kissing your neck while you kept moving. -I want to be delicate but damn.- he nipped at your sweet spot between your neck and shoulder. Your hips started going faster with the help of his hands guiding you and soon enough you were panting and kissing each other passionately and messily.

-Oh, Steve I'm almost there- you moan hugging his head to your chest. He moaned too, reaching in front of you with his hand to circle your clit.

-I'm right behind you baby.- he reassured you while in reality he was trying hard not to come in that exact moment. He craved you more than usual, not only beacause your body was actually so fucking hot to him but also because he hasn't touched you for almost two whole weeks.

Just a few seconds later you gripped his shoulders, hiding your face in his neck. His breath got caught in his troath at the way you clenched around him when you came. And as a cue, he followed you short after, coming inside you. You stayed like that, hugging and cuddling for some minutes, then he kissed you and moved you gently on his side, hissing slightly when you lost contact.

-Be right back.- he said going to the bathroom and returning with a wet wash cloth. He cleaned you up from both of your releases and then went back to throw the dirty fabric in the laundry basket. You looked at him with a lopsided smile, still hazy and quite tired from the recent activity. He mirrored your expression with messy hair, crawling in the bed to you and pulling you on his side after.

-I needed that.- you say. He sighed, -I definetly did too. How come we always end up having sex after we argue or talk?- he asked casually. You shrugged.

-I don't know, the important thing is that the talk comes first and then, the sex.- he agreed with a nod. You chewed on you lip a bit before speaking again.

-Honey- you called, he hummed.

-While you were away last week I started to think about how I will probably need more help in the future, you know. And the fact that you and the others are often away on missions. And I mean it's totally alright, that's work but... I felt so bad when Sam and Wanda were left behind last time. And just to 'babysit' me.- he looked down at you with a frown.

-They offered to stay behind because they wanted to. We're taking turns on missions all the time.- he responded. You barely noticed that he had started to caress your belly.

-That's not the point, you know it. The last mission was quite big. I know my work well enough to know that Fury would've sent all the team, if I weren't left behind. Also by now we both understood that this baby isn't a normal baby and that is why I'm so sick so often. Bruce can't be here all the time, and for how good and skilled he his, he's not an expert in the baby field.- he was listening to you intently, but he wasn't quite sure with where you wanted to go with this.

-What's the point?- he asked, moving a strand of your hair from your face with his fingers.

-The point is, that I've read a lot in these months, and I think that we should hire a midwife. It would be someone that stays with me most of the day and helps me. An actual expert.-

-And how would you explain that our child has the blood of two super soldiers?- his hand motioned himself and you. You got up, towards the bathroom.

-Steve, we share the house with a god, a giant green monster, enhanced people, a witch, a kid that has the powers of a spider and an intelligent robot. I think it wouldn't be a great surprise.- you closed the door, peed and then refreshed yourself before going back to take some clean clothes. You saw that he was waiting for you to get out, probably wanting to shower.

-Okay then, I guess we can arrange that, if that will make you feel better.- he finally spoke. You kissed his cheek, already in your underwear.

-Thank you. You're showering?- he nods, the raises an eyebrow.

-Wanna join?- you laugh and shake your head.

-No, baby not now. I get tired quite easily and if the bed's already a bit difficult to work with, the shower must be a nightmare.- he pouted.

-You're right.-

-But- he stops the door before it closes, waiting for you to continue. -I want to fix your hair and your beard if you let me.- a lopsided smile opens on his face.

-Be my guest.-

After you sat him down on the edge of the bathtub, you shortened the longer strands on top with tiny scissors. After that you picked up the electric razor and groomed the sides, shortneing them but not removing them completely. You did the same with the beard, leaving a short, barely visible scruff. About twenty minutes later you were done. You put down the razor and took a step back to look at your work.

-Perfect.- you commented, brushing the hair that fell on his chest and shoulders. He stood up and looked at himself in the mirror, smiling.

-Is there anything you can't do?- he asked. You smirked, kissing him before starting to clean up.

-No, I'm a woman.-

*************

Tag list: @polarcrystall @a--1--1--3 @silver-winter-wolf @jessyballet

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moonshineboyz · 3 years ago

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Is everything okay? Well... 👀 I'd like to say yes but not really. *Warning; this is going to get deep so grab some tissues 🤭* I get ever so insecure when I write smuts, it's so absolutely awful that I'm not just able to write something, edit it, post it & be content with it. For most people, that's where it stops. But for me, I do that process then I re-read it over and over again, finding more things wrong as I go over it, I worry that no one is going to like it, I worry it's a bad idea or if it's poorly written. Almost to the point where I beat myself up for it. Well, Im trying to be completely honest so no, not almost, I do. For fluff, it's the easiest thing in the world to write and I'm able to be happy with it, and I can re-read it without cringing (which is rare for me.) Angst is kind of in the middle, sometimes I'm satisfied with it but other times I'm like "This is so bad, there are people out there that are so much better than me, why do I try?" I wished that this wasn't the case but it's exactly how I feel. Smuts.. are horrible for me. I can't go writing one sentence without thinking that I'm useless, worthless, etc. I just have a terrible time trying to write them 🤦‍♀️ Basically, that is my situation right now but don't mind me! It's literally taking all of my beings not to delete myself from this planet but- I'm super lucky to have you 💌

Yes, not at me lowkey wanting to go on another hiatus because I suck at regular posting ✌😙 Taking breaks will probably be the one regular thing for me from now on 😔 I mean, underneath it all, everything is fine it's just my insecurities getting the best worst of me 🙃 Thank you, that does mean a lot I hope you know ☺ I love you too 🥰 You are the best & the sweetest! 100% just talked your ears off lmao

Okay, maybe another one...🤫👀 yes okay Nope! Not the moonbae one, I highkey forgot about that LOL- I totally did not just go & count BUT, I have 9 tbz smuts (including the three Im talking about) So, since you want to know 😏, the plot is like a movie night marathon with the boyz and it's a horror movie the first night & you find (the member) super handsome even tho he's just wearing a sweater and sweatpants and you basically secretly fuck(under a blanket) but you guys get caught at the end 🤐 so since I'm not outright telling you the member I'll happily give you hints!

1. He is a dancer (part of the dance line obviously)

2. It's not Juyeon LMAO

3. I haven't written about him yet 🤣

- Love, Kate

first of all, i'm so sorry i took so long to answer 😅

okay so, i'm sorry that you're feeling this way, darling, i understand :(( i honestly think it's natural for us to feel a bit unsure about our writing bc we get anxious to know what other people will think of it, or at least that is what happens to me too in some way. i know that it's easier said than done, but don't overthink about it and you're surely not useless nor worthless, you do get some really nice ideas to write, i love them. i understand that it's not like you're uncomfortable in writing smut or something of the sort and i don't know if i'm the best person to give advices about this or what exactly i should tell you but... first of all, keep in mind that you're NOT worthless, everyone has their own writing style/strengths and that doens't mean you're less than anyone else so don't compare yourself with others. second, there's always room for improvement if you feel like that'll help. you can search for writing tips and advices, how to improve and vocabulary. but don't overwork yourself, go at your own pace and don't force yourself to write, if nothing comes out that's okay too. and you know that i'm always here for you 💕💕

aw honey, it's totally okay not to post so often, everyone has their own rhythm to write, as well as personal life, don't care about it too much. and you can always take breaks when you feel like it. you're the sweetest too, i love talking to you 🥺🥺🥺 ewsduijk that's not a problem at all, you can always vent at me

9???? i'm dsjknefmdsjk see? you have so many ideas!! omg the plot is already amazing >>>> okay so, could it be sunwoo or changmin? 🤔

@mistresskate101

#kate 💘#ask #my love

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wcamino-confessions · 5 years ago

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Although I'm not on the greatest terms with Finchyy as of now, I did some thinking and I kinda feel like I owe this to Finchyy after our misunderstanding, I don't know what I was saying, I was ligit talking out of my ass a few times and I was kinda low saying "I felt that" don't even know why I commented it, I regretted sending it minutes before I got your texts if you're reading this, I hope I can dm you one of these days and resolve this because I just don't feel right about this whole thing right now, as of now I feel like it's better to not text you, so I just want to let you cool down unless you're already cooled but if not, I understand. Anyways, I talked with a friend that used to be friends with Koiver, and they pointed out differences between Koiver and Finchyy's art. Although they have a bit of a simular coloring style, you'll always be able to tell when it's Koiver art

Koiver eyes always take the same shape with only slight differences. Both of these are Koiver's art at the top^

Finchyy's eye art. They're nothing alike. And they change in shape as they draw different characters, Finchyy's eyes above^

Anyways, I felt like the air wasn't clear enough, and I hope whoever's accusing Finchyy of being Koiver stops, espeically after reading this. And please- Before you start responding instantly, take a step back and think about all this, espeically if you're like me because I ligit am terrible with my communication skills sometimes and when I talk, some people misunderstand me which is on me, I'm terrible at wording things lmao, it's something to laugh at but something I need to work on and I've been trying to work on it better, but I've improved since months ago and it doesn't affect myself badly much anymore but anyways, yeah, I hope I can dm you in a few days Finchyy, I'll unblock you and everything and I hope we can restart

#submission

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bluetulipsandsuch · 5 years ago

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Love At First Sight(kind of?)

Joe Mazzelloxreader

[Hey guys! So this is one of my first time doing one of these oneshot things, so I'm sorry if it's bad. I just thought they looked so fun and I wanted to try it out. Hope you enjoy!]

(Summary:

You and Joe accidentally meet and things don't go too well from the start... You think he's pretty annoying. But you keep on seeing him at different places, maybe he is kind of cute?)

Word count: 1,276

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Your day started off terribly. First, you woke up with your hair looking like a rats nest. It took you ages just to look semi-presentable. Then you accidentally stubbed your toe on the door frame of your bathroom. You let out more profanities than you'd like to admit...

While you were trying to make your usual breakfast of toast and coffee, you ended up burning the toast and forgot to make your coffee. Once you pulled out the burnt toast, looking like you had painted it black, you let out an exasperated sigh and ran your fingers through your hair. You look up at your clock before saying, ”Shit, I'm already late. I'll just get a coffee on the way!” You quickly run out your door and start to walk towards the coffee shop a few minutes away.

Once you walked inside you were greeted by the aroma of coffee beans and pastries. Maybe today won't be so bad. That hope seemed to vanish as you turned around and immediately had coffee spilled all over the front of your shirt. You look down in shock, your white shirt now having a huge brown stain on it. Your shock quickly turns to anger and you let out a groan of annoyance before looking up at the stranger who caused this issue. You were about to tell him to watch where he was going, but your anger seemed to disappear once you looked at who was in front of you. He had lovely dark ginger hair and his eyes looked mesmerizing. His hand was over his mouth, his eyes wide. ”Oh, my God. I'm am so so sorry. I wasn't paying attention where I was going and I-” he starts to ramble and your anger immediately returns. ”Yeah, maybe you should pay attention. My shirt is ruined!” you let out, your annoyance prominent in your voice.

The stranger doesn't say another word and quickly bolts to the area of the shop where the napkins are. You stand still, your cheeks tinged red because of your anger and your embarrassment. You hadn't realized you had been so loud, now most of the other customers were staring at you. The stranger came back with a wad of napkins in his hand. He started to dry dabbing at the coffee stain, but it did no good. That stain was not coming out. You move his hands away before saying, ”Leave it. It isn't going to disappear by using napkins.” He goes to apologize once more but you motion for him to stop talking. Without another word, you leave the shop and angrily walk to your job.

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A few days later you were at the grocery store looking around the aisles. You were looking to get a box of your favorite candy since you had been craving it, but you couldn't seem to find the damn aisle! After looking around for what felt like ages, you finally found the candy aisle. It took you a few minutes, but you found a single box left. You were reaching for it about to pick it up, but another hand had also reached for it.

You turned to look at them, and noticed they seemed familiar. It took you a second but you quickly realized it was the guy from the coffee shop. You glare at him, but he just smiles back goofily at you. Your expression softens and you almost smile back. That damn smile, he looked so adorable. Wait, Y/N, no! You can't think that way! You shake your head to get rid of the thoughts and go back to glaring at him. For a second you think he might not recognize you. He goes to apologize but you see a look of realization on his face. ”Hi, I'm Joe-” he starts to speak, but you drop the candy and run out of the store, leaving your cart behind. You run out to your car, and sit down. Your cheeks are flushed from embarrassment, you probably looked stupid just running away like that. You couldn't help it though, he realized who you were and what were the odds of seeing him again? It was kind of strange.

You sit down in your car for a few minutes, just to calm down. You're about to start your car, but hear a knock on your window. You jump in your seat and turn to see that it's the man who names you learned is Joe. You roll down your window before saying, ” Holy shit, man. You scared me.” You have your hand over your heart, you feel that it's still beating fairly fast from being scared. You look at him and see his face has turned pink. ”Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. I just, uh, came to give you these, ” he says while looking at the ground. He holds up a box of your favorite candy from the store. You finally smile at him and go to speak, but he speaks instead. ”I think we got off on the wrong foot. I mean I did spill coffee on you, ” he says with a chuckle before continuing, ”Hey, can I buy you a coffee?” You think about it before saying, ”Yeah, it’d be good to actually talk to someone new. Same coffee shop where we met?” He nods and walks to his car.

••••

A few minutes later, you walk into the coffee shop and look around for Joe. After not seeing him, you decide to go sit down. You mindlessly play a game on your phone for a bit, but look up when you see Joe sit across from you with two coffees. ”I didn't know what to get you, so I just got you a regular coffee. Sorry if you usually get something fancier..” he looks down at the table sheepishly. He actually looked pretty adorable, maybe this guy isn't so bad. You take the coffee and give him a warm smile. He grins back at you.

His smile disappears before he says, “I just realized I don’t even know your name.” You start laughing before giving him your name. You guys continue like this for a while and end up on the topic of your careers. ”So what do you do, Y/N?” Joe asks before taking a sip of his coffee. ”Oh, I'm a journalist. I do articles on all the latest stuff. What about you?” you ask him as you rest your face on your hand. He smiles a bit, his face turning slightly embarrassed(which is adorable in your opinion), before he says, ”I'm actually an actor..” You start to laugh at him, thinking it's a joke, but you stop when you look up and see that it isn't actually a joke.

”So, what have I seen you in?”

”You really wanna know?”

”Well duh!” you say before letting him continue.

”Jurassic Park.”

”NO WAY!” you say while giggling.

He continues to talk about his career and you continue asking him questions. When you look down at your phone you realize its already getting late. You look outside the window and see the sun is already setting. You point this out to him and he looks down at his watch. ”Wow, I was having so much fun that I didn't realize what time it was, ” he says while chuckling a bit. You throw your trash away and walk outside. You stand in front of the door before exchanging numbers. ”I was wondering if you maybe wanted to like get dinner sometimes?” he says, clearly nervous about your answer. You grin widely at him.

”I’d quite like that.”

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I'd love it if whoever reads this leaves feedback. I know it isn't the best, but I like it. So, yeah. If you guys want more like this then please please please leave requests in my asks. I'll write almost anything lmao. Oh, and I'll be writing about the Borhap cast and Queen! So yeah. Love you guys! ⭐️❤️

#joe mazello x reader #joe mazzello #oneshot #borhap #bohemianrhapsodymovie #borhap boys

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