#i'll spend forever wondering if you knew; i was enchanted to meet you / kasumi &. ryota .

[lovefell]

you don't know why, but something in you said to slam on the break. unfortunately, that wasn't enough. you blink & when your eyes open, & once adjusted, you're confused as to how you're facing an unfamiliar ceiling when you were just in the car. you hear the muffled sounds of machines beeping & seeing doctors & nurses flood into the room. all you want is to know where your wife is.

you try speaking, but either nothing comes out or they're all ignoring you. you don't know which it is. you try to get up, but are immediately pushed back & your blood instantly boils. nothing anyone is saying sounds like any words you can understand. when they write the question if you can speak english, you nod your head yes. they write that you were in a coma for a week, you're hearing may not come back, & that your wife & the child the two of you were having are both dead.

your wife is dead.

you can't hear it nearly as much as the doctors, nurses, & even others outside the room can, but your screams & sobs fill the room & carry throughout the floors hallways. you try with the little strength you have to get to her. you get held down & they sedate you.

you don't know how long it's been, but when you regain consciousness, you turn your head & see your only friend there. your wife is still dead.

they discharge you once knowing you'll have someone to help you until your fully healed. your sister would have, but she's pregnant & nearing her due date.

you open the door & you're home for the first time in over a week. you're used to being alone in it while kasumi is at work, but it doesn't feel like home anymore.

you stand there for a minute. you know if you take another step, it would mean moving on without your life beside you - without her hand in yours. you start walking anyway. you get to your room & can't help but to fall apart all over again.

you had to make the decision to bury or cremate her. you chose cremate. you keep a small amount of her ashes in a necklace that your friend gifted you so you can have her as close as you possibly can even though she's not physically there nor will she ever be. you've never taken off the necklace.

a year passes & you're back in japan where you've been living with your sister & her husband for the last few months. time continued when you didn't want it to. there's nothing you can do. your wife is dead & you have no one but yourself to blame.

prompt.