#i'll schedule / make an actual post for this tomorrow but have a fic bc i promised myself i would post it before winter break ended!!

[zukkaoru]

twenty-three + [platonic] nanami & megumi or [platonic] maki & toge <333

also. hi <3

hi beloved🥰 you already know what's coming <3

23. die first - nessa barrett + [platonic] nanami & megumi

can’t escape it, that’s how it works someone dies or someone gets hurt

word count: 11,760 trigger warnings: character death (canonical + a very minor oc), suicidal thoughts, romanticizing/idealizing death, self harmful thoughts and behaviors, survivor's guilt

🌟 if one of us dies 🌟

“You are a child,” Nanami says firmly. He rolls his shoulder. “No child should die, regardless of any outstanding circumstances.”

It’s a nice sentiment - really, it is.

But Megumi’s circumstances are different. He’s only fourteen, but he isn’t a child. There is a difference between childhood and Megumi’s younger years.

Tsumiki had a childhood.

Megumi…

Megumi has lived always knowing it can only end one way, and that end will likely come sooner rather than later. Megumi has had to compress an entire life into the handful of years he’s been gifted so when death grabs him by the throat before he turns twenty, he won’t die with regrets.

🥀 read on ao3 🥀

[fourstarsoutofnine]

Hello Star!

Congrats, you've been visited by your LU Self Care Anon!

I hope you had a great day, and if not, don't worry, you did your best, and tomorrow's full of new possibilities!

Have you drank enough water? It can really help, and since I've bought this really neat canteen with included straw I've been drinking a lot more (I think for me it acts as a stim too) Also, remember to get enough sleep, I might be an hypocrite now that i haven't slept at all this night, but it's only one night and I knew it would come, I'll sleep a lot the next. Did you know sleeping on your side may reduce snore or sleep apnea?

What have you been working on lately? Would you like to show me a wip, or describe it? I'm sure it'll turn out amazing, even if you now think it's nowhere near good!

You can do this! Believe in yourself, you're awesome!

*frantically googling how to hug an entire community at once* bless y’all, seriously, you’ve been so nice..

1.)my day was alright! Went to the little pre-semester thing for my school where it kind of explains everything we’ll be doing and how to get into certain things we need

2.) I haven’t drank enough at all considering it’s supposed to be like 7 bottles a day? 8? And I’ve only drank like 2 but I struggle with drinking enough bc I can never really tell when I’m thirsty unless my mouth is dry :/ I’m getting there tho!

3.)yea I’m getting my sleep schedule fixed—been staying up way too late but I’m working on that too. And I did know that yea!!! I sleep on my side most of the time bc when I end up on my back I have nightmares—which is another fact! Sleeping on your back can increase the risk of nightmares! I had one last night actually.

4.) really the only thing I’ve been working on is stuff for school. I didn’t make exactly what I wanted to last semester so now I think I know what to do this time so I’m trying to stay caught up by studying and doing things ahead on the weekends and throughout the week(which is why updates are slow—sorry!) but as far as fics I think the next one I’ll work on and post is probably the part 2 of sick reader, and then a Hyrule x reader after that :D

[romanarose]

Update on how things have been.

ups and downs ups and downs...

TW for depression, suicidal thoughts, sh, and ig work issues although those seem small in comparison to the other warnings

Monday was much better. Today is worse than Monday but not as bad a last week. Last week I was in serious danger to myself. If I was insured I would have committed myself for my safety.

I relapsed on SH this week, been over a year since doing that so its pretty disappointing, but not as bad as when i relapsed after like 5 years.

As some of you know, I quit my job on friday. It was my weekend job at olive garden that i'd been at for a long time, and had evn more years at different olive garden locations and long story short i was feeling a lack of respect and decent pay for certain postions so i said i was done hosting, expecting to do bread, salad, or to go. I get schedule to buss which pays worse than host and i lost it lol. Completetly. It felt like an insult. It honestly got blown out of proportion bc of my emotions but the way my general manager handled it was really disappointing and brushed me off when i wanted to talk about it on saturday. On sunday we did actually talk. One of the other managers was in the room and while i didn't feel my GM understood me, the other manager did. She said she was the one that scheduled me that and didn't mean it as an insult nor a punishment but she validated why I felt like it was. She took me off one of the bussing shifts as an act of goodwill. I'll be working less hours there and more on my on campus job but i think over all it got smoothed over enough.

But after that, i cried and cried and cried. for 45 minutes. Like i sat in the parking lot sobbing bc i could not drive. Eventually im able to get to panda express and cry more trying to calm down and get my food. I just went i with my face red a blotchy ad tears in my eyes and went home and watched My Man Godfrey via screenshare with a friend. Good movie.

Unsure how I feel. I naively thought yesterday that this was over, but one good day does not a cure make.

On the brightside, my Race and Ethnicity in america class was supossed to do a presentation on jackie robinson tomorrow and my and a classmate were gonna work on it today after class... and she said "hey i pretty much did everything, if you just wanna come to class a little early tomorrow we can go over the slides." I felt bad bc I didn't do anything but she said she really just prefers to do work by herself. She and I are both history majors and know each other well, so I know for a fact that I can return this favor some day. I started tearing up and saying how I've been struggling so this is such a relief.

Grades will be okay I think. geology is gonna suck at the end bc ive been bullshitting it all. Race and ethnicity in american will be an A i think. Just got my paper back for the other american history class, I got an A so far. Im not super confident about the research paper at the end but... If I have an A a C or something for the paper will be alright. I got my midterm back for the history research class and I though I got like a 50% lol but it was a B-. everything else has been a's so far so if i dont do great on that paper ill survive. Race and law is an A rn and I dont precieve that changing. I need to keep a 3.0 gpa to keep my scholarship one more year.

Anyway y'all dont care about any of that.

I fear as this semmester goes on there will be less and less time to write fics so be prepared. Im trying my best. Everything is awful rn and i dont wanna exist but im pulling through.

sorry for the depressing post