#i'll row this dinghy myself i got this

[cobraonthecob]

i know when it comes to katara's ships that harutara is perceived as the vanilla option for katara if you don't like kataa/ng, but haru was willing to fight after katara gave that speech on the prison so like. do i need to write some harutara fic to change fandom perceptions or what

[adzeisval]

Safety Net

Happy Whumptober everybody!

A quick note, for the OFMD whumptober fics , all were written before season two comes out, but there might be some correct guesses for things that happen. There may be on that's season two specific later in the month and I'll let you know which one. On to the whump!

Izzy narrowed his eyes and frowned at the sight of Stede Bonnet rowing back to the Revenge alone. Exactly three hours ago Edward had been captured by pirate hunters and taken to a small abandoned fortress on an equally abandoned island. 

Pirate hunters were annoying but they usually had a price and Bonnet had gone to the negotiation willing to give anything to them for Ed’s safe return. In fact Bonnet had taken an obscene amount of loot which Izzy could make out in the bottom of the dinghy as it got closer. Not enough loot apparently. Maybe someone had already made another offer to buy Ed. They would figure it out, everyone had their price. 

Bonnet and Fang hopped back on the Revenge.

“We need to talk, Izzy,” Stede said and Izzy followed the man to the Captain’s cabin without a word. 

“How much do the bastards want, and did they let you see Ed?”

“He’s alright, they let me see him briefly. And they named a price, and if they don’t get it they are going to sell Ed to the English.” 

“We can’t let that happen the fucking English will hang him,” Izzy said. 

“I know.” 

“So? What do they want?” 

“You. They want you Izzy. Their leader Higgins, you killed his father apparently. And maimed his brother.”

Izzy shrugged, “Probably did.” 

Bonnet was looking at Izzy strangely and Izzy couldn’t figure out what he was missing. Should be an easy set up, get Ed back then rescue Izzy and slaughter all the pirate hunters. 

“What are you not telling me?” 

“Well. Higgins expects a trap, and he doesn’t believe I have the guts to do what he asks…” 

“Which is?” Izzy was starting to get very annoyed. 

“He wants me to kill you and bring him the body,” Bonnet said. 

Izzy froze. He looked carefully at Bonnet, the man appeared to be unarmed and there was no one else in the cabin. Izzy was armed and Bonnet knew that. He wouldn’t blame Bonnet for killing him to save Ed, but it didn’t look like Bonnet was willing to make a move. 

“I’m not doing it myself,” Izzy snarled.

“I’m not sure we have to kill you at all, just make it look like you’re dead,” Bonnet said. 

“He might not fall for it.” 

“I think we can make it look convincing, but it will be risky,” Bonnet said. Before Izzy could ask Bonnet to stop beating around the fucking bush and tell him what the fuck was going on Roach entered the cabin. 

“Captain?” 

“Ah good Roach,” Bonnet said. 

Now it was two against one and Izzy still didn’t know what was going on but he didn’t like it.

“We need to make Izzy look as dead as possible without actually killing him. We can do make up of course but is there any way we can slow his breathing or something to make it look like he’s dead?”

“I…actually do think I have something like that,” Roach said. 

Of course. No matter what off the wall crazy plan Bonnet had they would somehow have exactly what they needed. 

“So here’s the plan. We make Izzy look dead, take his body to trade for Edward. Once we can get Edward away we grab him and Izzy and go.” 

“We’ll have to be careful, I won’t be able to wake Izzy up in an instant.” 

Izzy swallowed. He was going to be helpless. He was going to be unconscious and unable to fight or defend himself. He was going to have to trust that Roach knew what he was doing and didn’t overdose him on whatever it was. He was going to have to trust that they weren’t going to just overdose him on purpose, kill him, but make it easy on everyone by making Izzy believe he was going to wake up. They knew him well enough to know he’d give his life for Edward. They could even make it look like an accident. Every survival instinct that Izzy had was screaming at him that this was a bad idea, that he shouldn’t trust Bonnet and Roach. 

But…

Edward was in danger, they needed to get him back. And Izzy had been on the Revenge for years now and no one had tried to kill him. Roach had treated Izzy’s wounds and illnesses several times without killing him or hurting him. He was safe on the Revenge and had been for years. 

“So what do you say Izzy? Are you in?” 

“Yes,” Izzy said. 

“Right, we’d better get going, meetings in two hours.” 

“Fuck,” Izzy cursed under his breath then turned to Roach, “Can you explain to me what exactly you’re going to do to me?” 

“Follow me to the galley, we’ll get you ready,” Roach said. Izzy nodded and followed and thought he was completely insane. 

“How safe is this?” Izzy asked as Roach gathered herbs and ingredients. 

“I’ll take good care of you.” 

“I know you will Roach you always have, but…I’m nervous and I’d like details please. How do you know this will work? And how much to use?”

“It can make surgery easier, slow bleeding enough to save someone. It’ll slow your heart, your breathing will get shallow. It’ll be hard to notice that you’re breathing, if someone tries to check your pulse quickly they won’t feel anything.”

“It’s not dangerous?”

“It can be. Too much will kill you. But I won’t let you leave this ship without making sure you’re stable. I’ll have the antidote with me. You might feel a bit hungover for a bit after but that’s all.” 

Izzy nodded. He was still nervous. Roach knew what he was doing but there was still a risk. And then there was the chance that something would happen during the exchange. What if Higgins decided to shoot Izzy in the head to make sure? 

Bonnet and Jim came into the galley and Izzy tried to not look as nervous as he felt. 

“Don’t worry I’ll stab anyone who tries to hurt you,” Jim said. 

“I’d appreciate that,” Izzy said. 

“We won’t let anyone hurt you Izzy,” Bonnet said, “Now I’m going to make it look like you got shot in the chest. I’ll have you change into a white shirt so they can see the blood.” 

“Alright,” Izzy said, “Make sure to put a little blood by my lips.” He couldn’t believe he was going along with this insanity, “Do you have a plan to signal to Edward that this is fake?” 

“Yes. I figure Higgins doesn’t know about your prosthetic leg so I’m going to make it look like I chopped that off too. Ed will know the truth.” 

“You are fucking nuts, I’m fucking nuts,” Izzy said putting his head in his hands for a few moments. 

“Are you up to this Izzy?” Bonnet asked. 

“Yes, I can do this.” 

Izzy changed into a bloody white shirt and an old pair of leather pants and let Stede, Frenchie, and Wee John do the make up. He sat on the edge of a cot. Stede Frenchie and Wee John left to get ready. 

“Alright, ready Izzy?” Roach asked, handing Izzy a cup.

“Not really,” Izzy said but tipped the cup into his mouth and swallowed the foul tasting liquid in one go. He laid down on the cot and waited. 

“You’re going to feel sleepy and maybe a little dizzy. Let me know if you feel anything odd.” 

At first Izzy felt nothing and he wondered if it wasn’t going to work. Then he felt suddenly weak and very dizzy. 

“Oh…” 

“You’re alright Izzy,” Roach said. 

Izzy tried to let it happen, he was just falling asleep, but he also had the urge to fight it. He had the fear that it was killing him, that once he was asleep he wouldn’t wake up. Izzy had been close to death before and it felt a lot like this. 

Izzy started to cry. 

“You’re alright Izzy,” Roach repeated, “You don’t have to fight it.” 

“Sorry,” Izzy said. It felt wrong. It felt like he was dying. He didn’t know if he was going to wake up. 

“We’ve got you Izzy,” Jim said, taking his hand.

Izzy’s brain spiraled into anxiety. He was dying. They were lying to him. They were killing him. But then Jim squeezed his hand and Roach took his other hand. 

“We’re not going to let anyone hurt you Izzy,” Jim said. 

They weren’t killing him. They would take care of him. Izzy trusted the crew; he trusted Jim and Roach. They had to save Edward. Izzy let himself slip away and trusted that he was going to wake again. 

***** 

Stede walked back into the galley and stopped short. Izzy was lying on the cot, completely still and bloody. Jim was kneeling by the cot and holding Izzy’s hand. It was clear Izzy had been crying. Roach was checking for a pulse. Stede felt a little ill. Did…did it not work? Had his plan gotten Izzy killed?

“Roach?” Stede asked. 

“He’s stable, he’s doing well.” 

“If he was dead I would have knifed you the second you came in,” Jim said. 

“Jim, can you help me turn him on his side,” Roach said. Jim did so without letting go of Izzy’s hand. Stede knew that Izzy had been nervous but the fact that Izzy was nervous enough to cry and hold Jim’s hand made him sad. 

“Was he scared?”

“Very,” Jim said.

“We won’t let him down, and on that note, we need to keep him on his side like this as much as possible. With how shallow and slow he’s breathing if he’s on his back too long he might stop breathing,” Roach said, “We should get going, I’d like to bring him out of this as soon as possible.” 

“We’re ready to go,” Stede said. 

They wrapped Izzy in a piece of sail and carried him carefully to the dinghy. Stede was a little nervous about the whole thing; but he had the best people with him. Jim wasn’t going to let anyone hurt Izzy. Roach was there to help. Stede was nervous about how Ed was going to react. Hopefully he would see through the fuckery and know that Izzy was alive, that Stede would never hurt Izzy. 

Higgins was waiting for them in the courtyard of the old fort. He saw Roach and Jim and the sail they were carrying and he smiled. 

Roach and Jim dropped Izzy as carefully as they could opening the sail to make sure Izzy fell on his side. 

Higgins laughed, “Holy shit. You actually fucking did it.” Higgins took a step forward. 

“None of that,” Stede said, “You release Blackbeard to me and we leave you the corpse.” 

Higgins looked again at Izzy, “I’m going to have my surgeon check him.” 

“Very well,” Stede said and hoped that Roach’s potion did the trick. The surgeon came forward and kicked Izzy onto his back before kneeling. Jim was pretending not to care but Stede knew them well enough to know Jim was second from reaching for a knife. 

The surgeon knelt and put both his hands on Izzy’s neck to check for a pulse. 

“He’s dead,” the man announced and stepped back beside Higgins. 

“Bring him out!” Higgins yelled. 

Stede tried not to look over at Izzy. Izzy was supposed to be dead so it shouldn’t matter what position the body was in. But of course Izzy wasn’t dead and he shouldn’t be on his back. They couldn’t move him until they safely had Ed. Stede hoped that Izzy was still able to breathe. 

Two men dragged Ed out. Ed looked alright, more bored than anything, he was still tied up. Until he saw Izzy. Then he gasped. 

“Ha! Didn’t think he’d do it, did you Blackbeard.” 

Ed looked betrayed and looked at Stede who wished he could tell Ed that Izzy was alright. That it was all a fuckery. 

“Even cut his fucking leg off, what didn’t think shooting him in the chest was showy enough Bonnet?,” Higgins said. 

“Something like that,” Stede said. 

Ed blinked and looked at Izzy’s leg. He looked at Roach and Jim and for just a split second there was a quirk of a smile on Ed’s lips. 

“What did you do?” Ed asked. 

“Saved you,” Stede said. 

Higgins laughed but didn’t make a move to release Ed. Stede glanced over at Izzy and hoped that he was alright. 

“Well are you going to return him and hold up your end of the bargain Higgins. I’ve given you your corpse.” 

“In a hurry are you?” Higgins asked. 

“Yes. I’d rather get going,” Stede said. 

“You know what Captain Bonnet?” 

“I’m losing patience with you Higgins,” Stede said. 

“I know that you and Blackbeard are insane and I know for a fact that Izzy Hands lost his left leg years ago. He’s not dead. Not yet. I’ll see to that later then sell you all.” 

The fight didn’t last long, Higgins and his men were much more competent than Stede had made out. In a matter of minutes he and the others were tossed in a cell beneath the old fort.

Stede took stock, none of them were badly wounded in the fight and Ed looked alright. 

“Fuck,” Roach cursed as he knelt by Izzy’s body. Stede’s blood ran cold. Had Izzy stopped breathing? Was he truly gone?

“What’s going on?” Ed asked. 

“I gave Izzy some herbs to make it seem like he was dead. I brought the antidote to bring him out, but the bottle broke,” Roach said. 

“Is he going to die?” Ed asked. 

“Probably not, but I’d rather get him out of this sooner, he’ll come out on his own, but it’ll be harder on him,” Roach said. 

“I’m sorry love, I thought Higgins was an idiot, I thought he’d buy Izzy being dead,” Stede said. 

“I thought he was an idiot too,” Ed said with a sigh, “Who did you leave in charge back at the ship?” 

“Oluwande,” Stede said. 

“Oh good. He’ll be coming up with a rescue plan when he realizes things have gone wrong,” Ed said. 

Stede knew it was true. There was no way that Olu would leave without rescuing Jim and the others as well. Stede still felt horrible for fucking everything up and getting them all captured and putting Izzy in greater danger. 

Ed was staring at Izzy, “Fuck, he really does look dead, you did a good job there.” 

“It was disturbing to come in and see him like that,” Stede said. 

“Was hard watching him go under too,” Jim said, “He fought it for a bit.” 

“We won’t let him down,” Stede said, “How long before he wakes up?”

“Another hour maybe,” Roach said. 

They group sat in silence for a while. Stede tried to remain hopeful and ignore the nagging anxiety in his gut. He was the most nervous about the Izzy situation. While Roach seemed calm it didn’t escape Stede’s notice that he was checking Izzy’s vitals more and more frequently. 

At last Stede couldn’t keep silent, “Roach?”

Roach sighed, “His pulse is a little irregular, but he’s hanging in there.” 

“Is there anything we can do?” Ed asked. 

“Maybe,” Roach said, “Holding him might help. Someone who taught me swore by it.” 

Ed moved quickly to scoop Izzy up in his arms, “It’s alright Izzy, we’re all with you. I’ve got you, just stay with us mate.” 

Minutes ticked by slower than hours as they waited for Izzy to come out of his stupor. Ed spoke to Izzy often, urging him to wake up and telling him it was alright. Ed was pleading with Izzy to wake when Izzy suddenly jerked in his arms. 

“Izzy?”

Stede could hear the panic in Ed’s voice. 

Roach moved in to check on the situation and Stede thought he might be sick. Please. Please let Izzy be alright. 

“You can do it Izzy, come back,” Ed pleaded. 

A moment later Izzy gasped and coughed. 

“That’s it Iz, just breathe mate, we’ve got you,” Ed said. 

Stede sighed in relief. He hadn’t gotten Izzy killed, at least not yet. 

*****

Izzy’s head was pounding and his throat was parched and he wished he was back on the Revenge. Things had gone wrong but at least he hadn’t been killed. 

“I’m sorry Izzy,” Stede said. 

“It’s alright,” Izzy shrugged. He knew that the rest of the crew would be coming to their rescue soon enough. Oluwande wouldn’t leave Jim. 

Izzy was still going to have to rely on everyone else to keep him protected, he didn’t have his prosthetic so he couldn’t even stand on his own much less fight. He didn’t like being so helpless even if he did trust the others to protect him. 

When rescue came it was chaos and somehow Izzy ended up being carried by Ed out of the prison cell. Izzy’s head was still pounding and everything was too loud and too much and his brain couldn’t process what was going on. 

They made it back to the ship. 

“Alright Izzy?” Ed asked after setting him down on deck. 

“Head hurts,” he said, “Thirsty.” 

“Alright I’ll get you something to drink and get your prosthetic, then we can get you cleaned up.” 

“Thanks Ed.” 

Stede sat down beside Izzy, “I am really sorry Izzy.” 

“It’s alright Stede, it really is. It all worked out and you kept your word and kept me safe.” 

“Thank you Izzy for being willing to trust us to protect you. That was very brave.” 

Izzy snorted, “Thanks.” 

Ed came back with the prosthetic and then lead Izzy into the galley were Roach had drinks and snacks. Izzy was feeling better already.

[izzy-b-hands]

Ed takes a day off that honestly is just him getting to sleep in bc the plot interrupts said day for him unfortunately.

Note that this wasn't going to end sadly but then...there I was and now I made myself sad ☹️

No one dies, but there is a loss. A beautifully designed, many-secret-passageway'd loss. Stede cries over it and tbh I nearly did too by the end so I'd weepily join him in a sobbing session over this.

I gotta write something happy and/or smutty tonight yet to balance this, but for now, have at.

---

He wakes, face smooshed into a pillow instead of Stede's chest.

Not ideal.

Less ideal is that the room is empty and the sun has clearly been up for awhile now and-

It clicks. He can sleep in today. Barring an emergency, of course, they should come get him then, but since there isn't one...

"Nah," Ed waves away his leathers, sitting on the patch of floor where he'd stripped them off for Stede. "You guys go on ahead without me."

He giggles to himself, and faceplants into the pillow again.

Not as good as Stede's tits. But good enough for now, while he sleeps until he decides he actually wants to be awake.

--

"We aren't waking him!" Stede hisses. "I've got this!"

'This' is a tentacle. A long, heavy tentacle that has slapped up out of the sea and onto the ship, holding it firmly where it is.

"Maybe he'd prefer not to see a tentacle anyway," Izzy remarks, and Stede catches his eyes.

The Dutch fuckery comes back to mind. Izzy's right. This is one of Ed's first days to relax and use as he wants, however. The last thing he needs or probably would want is this.

"Buttons," Stede turns back to the helm. "Any ancient sea magics to rid us of this beast?"

"Aye," Buttons nods. "Called an oar."

"What oar is long enough to reach that?"

"Tie it to another one," Buttons continues. "Till it reaches."

"And it'll let go?"

Buttons chuckles. Then giggles, then laughs, until he's bent over at the waist cackling with Olivia hopping around him in apparent concern.

Then, she lets out a call that sounds suspiciously like seagull laughter.

"Alright," Stede scowls. "It isn't that funny."

He turns to a red-faced Izzy.

"Sorry," Izzy says, muffled by the hand over his mouth. "I'm not laughing at you. I promised Ed I wouldn't-"

"Just shut up!" Stede snaps. He's heard of ships being pulled to the depths this way, but no one seems as concerned about it as he is. "Unless you intend to actually be helpful for once!"

"Well now," Lucius pipes up. "That's not entirely fair. He's always done stuff. Even made us do stuff on occasion. Did you even see the new chore wheel?"

"The what?!"

"Chore wheel!" Lucius continues with an eye roll. "I told you ab-never mind. Look, I really don't th-"

There's a deep groan and straining in the ship's wooden panels, and she rocks hard before slamming back to her usual position.

Then, the wet, slimy slap of another tentacle, maybe two, this time on the other side of her.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Stede sighs. "What if we just kill it?"

A gallery of offended faces greets him.

"Okay, no killing it then, geez. It might kill us first but whatever," he can't help but spit at them. "Leave me to it then! I'll figure it out all alone!"

--

He's in a lovely dream.

Stede, shirtless, rowing them in a dinghy along the sea. Not for any escape, just as a little outing.

However, each time he rows, there's an oddly slimy slap into the water.

"Did you do something to the oars?" Ed asks Dream Stede. "They shouldn't sound like that. Sounds more like-"

He topples out of bed at the slosh of water at the windows, and the shadow of a tentacle near it.

"Fuck."

--

"He's being stubborn; let him be stubborn," Izzy says. "I did it all the time and I'm f-"

He frowns. "Never mind. Bonnet! Wait up, please."

"Even the 'please' thrown in there," Lucius teases. "Look at you."

"Just make sure everyone else gets back to work," Izzy sighs. "For now, at least. If things get worse, then we'll call folks back to help as needed."

"Okay," Lucius smiles, and turns to Pete. "Babe, could you go do that? I should really document this for the new journal."

"Exactly what I was thinking," Pete kisses his cheek. "Consider it done."

Izzy watches him walk off. "There's no work getting done, is there?"

"Awww," Lucius takes his arm gently. "No. Not even a little. Because we're being attacked by a possible, though seemingly very lazy, sea monster. Sort of hard to concentrate with that going on."

By the time they've found Stede, he's already tied several oars together with rope, and is smacking the first tentacle as hard as he can.

"You can swim!" he screams. "You don't even need a ship! There's nothing on here for you!"

"Buttons' ancient sea magic isn't working?" Izzy asks, regret immediately flooding him as soon as he says it.

Stede leans back up from over the rail, and glares. "Does it fucking look like it, Israel?"

He shouldn't laugh. Normally, someone using his full name like that would piss him off. But the entire thing is ridiculous, painfully so, at least for now...

He leans into Lucius, dampening his laughter in his shoulder.

"There, there," Lucius sighs. "He was worried about you."

"He was not, and he isn't now!"

Izzy lifts his head, wipes the tears from his eyes, and smiles. "I am, in that you're a member of the crew like anyone else, and I don't want anyone falling off the ship trying to fight this thing. We'll try something else instead of that, maybe-"

"What?" Stede tosses the oar monstrosity to the deck floor. "What the fuck else would you suggest?"

"Okay," Lucius says softly. "I think we're all a little worried about things right now, but-"

"Oh shut it!" Stede snaps, and yanks the oar back up before leaning over to resume his tapping of the beast.

"Wow," Lucius scoffs. "Yeah, I'm recording that. He can feel bad about that later, reading it in here."

Izzy frowns. "No, he can feel bad about it now, I think."

Before he can take a step over to ask Bonnet if he thinks that's how a captain ought to speak to his crew in a panicky moment, the ship rocks hard again.

"I hate you!" Stede bellows to the tentacle. "You are literally the worst!"

--

The first tentacle he sees doesn't concern him. One isn't so bad.

The second, third, fourth, and fifth are concerning though.

"What's our game pl-" Ed pauses. "What is he doing?"

"Captain Asshole is taking out his frustrations on the sea monster," Lucius sighs impatiently. "But he's only frustrated because he won't stop to try anything else to get rid of it!"

He looks to Izzy, who nods.

"Honestly, we didn't help though. I mean, we came over here to help, but before this we all...we didn't handle this well."

"Kinda got that idea," Ed says. "We should be abandoning ship before the thing gets more curious and yanks us down to see what we are."

"That can happen?" Lucius asks. "Wait, actually, don't tell me yet. I'm gonna go get everyone ready to abandon and...yeah, I'm moving, meet you at the dinghies!"

He jogs off, and Ed turns his attention to Izzy.

"Look, whatever happened before...just be honest with me. Did he panic because he didn't want to wake me up?"

Izzy nods again. "Normally, I would have gone to you regardless, but you did ask me, when I swore my pledge of loyalty to Bonnet, to try and abide his orders first. Well."

He gestures to Stede, still bent over the deck rail, shouting wordlessly as he slaps the everloving shit out of the tentacle.

"We'll keep working on it," Ed sighs. "Go gather your things, then whatever you can of mine and Stede's. We'll grab the rest ourselves. If we take a bit, then just start getting the others out on the boats, and-"

He stops himself. "What am I talking about, you know what to do for this. Sorry, go on."

Izzy speed walks off, and finally, there's Stede.

"Hey," he leans on the rail by Stede. "So, in theory, the ship might survive this. If she does, we can row back and see if repairs can be made, and if they're economical. If they are, great, we get to work and then sail off. If not, or if she gets pulled under..."

Stede's arms stop, and he leans back off the rail with a groan.

"Ed," he says, looking utterly miserable and defeated. "She's my first ship. I helped draw up her plans, and I swore I'd do anything I could to keep her safe, or I'd go down with her."

Ed nods. "Were we in a situation that demanded that, sure. But something like this? No one will care if the captain went down with his ship. Besides, squid are curious, and this one probably just wants to figure out what the ship is. Sometimes they let ships go."

"I didn't even think they would or could do this! I expected at least an actual sea monster!"

"I don't think it's like, a squid hobby," Ed says. "And not many that I've seen are this big, or act this way. But some are, and some do, and I've watched people get pulled under while trying to salvage their vessels."

He stands and pulls Stede into a hug. "The first loss is never easy, but this might not be that. We don't know yet, and we can't unless we get away to safety then keep an eye on her. Alright?"

"I shouldn't cry over this," is sniffled into the leather of his jacket. "Stupid."

"Not stupid," Ed murmurs. "I cried after I ran one of my first aground. Felt like the biggest idiot and worst person in the world when we realised we couldn't get her free, and even if we did, she was too badly damaged-"

Tears prick at the corners of his eyes. He can't help it.

"She was a damn good ship, just like this one. And maybe our lady here will fare better. But even if she does, you can't help fix and sail her if a squid is using you to play pirates at the bottom of the sea."

Stede doesn't argue when Ed leads him away, towards the remaining dinghy, and the assemblage of tied oars is left on the deck.

"I grabbed everything," Izzy says as they step carefully into the boat. "I figured..."

His voice trails off as Stede hiccups and snuggles closer into Ed's arms.

They end up floating near the rest of the crew, fairly far away from the ship in case she should break apart or be pulled below.

Izzy wraps one of Stede's oversized velvet robes around their shoulders. "Lucius and Roach made sure food was in each one of these. I'll unpack and see what we've got."

"I'm good," Stede says, voice wobbling. "Not much of an appetite now."

"Fair enough," Izzy sighs. "Ed?"

Before he can answer Izzy, an alarming amount of additional, larger tentacles rise out of the blue, only to slam in The Revenge's middle, splitting her nearly in half.

He reaches a hand back and grabs Izzy hard. The ensuing waves might not be the biggest, but he doesn't want anyone in the water right now.

That's not a squid. Probably not. Not like any he's seen before, even the big ones.

Stede dives back into his shoulder, face pressed there and shoulders shaking.

"I know," Ed murmurs. "If it helps, I don't know what the fuck that thing is. Technically, I think we just made some sort of history with this."

Stede sniffles. "Really?"

"Yeah. Lucius is over there sketching away, and-"

Stede pops up from his shoulder. "We can commemorate her in a story about this!"

"Yeah. Once we're somewhere safer, we can. Like an inn, maybe not right near the beach."

"Ed, I can't row us away if you don't let go of me," Izzy says gently. "The others are looking here for some direction. I know it's a bit of a crapshoot, but...what way are we headed?"

Ed blinks, and watches the tentacles finally crush completely through the ship's middle, sinking most of her down below the waves. "Any direction that isn't that one."

"Got it," Izzy says, and Ed can feel him gesturing motioning the others to row away from the scene.

But he doesn't let go of Izzy's other arm. Not yet.

He's not ready, and he can tell Stede isn't either.

Besides that, someone needs to witness her final moments, before the last bit of The Revenge is gone for good to the depths.

So they sit, a trio in a violently rocked dinghy, as the beast drags their home to Davy Jones's Locker.

[smokeys-house]

Can we hear some pirate tales from puukko?

Gonna put this under a cut bc it's a little on the long side! Also pls excuse any formatting issues bc I'm on mobile.

This was super fun to write but I'm rusty so I hope it's a fun read!

Pirate tales from Puukko (1)

You're seated in a comfortable chair by a fireplace. The scent of the rustic cabin's old wood mingles with the smoke and the aroma of hot coffee from the steaming mugs on the coffee table. Across from you sits a familiar older woman, thick fur and a devilish scar across her eye.

"So... pirate tales is what yer after." She leaves her rocking chair at a comfortable pace. "Of course, of course, aye... If that's how you want to spend your evening." She opens a cabinet in the corner, sliding several objects out of the way. A few small bits and bobs clatter to the floor, but she patently ignores them. She reaches far into the back of the cabinet, looking away at nothing and biting her tongue in focus as she fumbles around inside the cupboard. You sip idly at your coffee.

"Aha, here we are!" Her voice is low and gravel-y, but the fondness in her tone is comforting. She sets aside what appears to be a very dusty false panel and sets a very small chest down on the table. Before you can ask what it is she's found, she begins pouring a deep amber liquid from a bottle she pulled from the chest directly into your coffee. "I won't have you waste that. Sup mindfully." Her commanding voice is intimidating, but sweet. She pours noticeably heavier into her own mug.

"I'll be brief. But let me tell you of a day I thought would be my last." She takes a very long sip, and sits back. "Now it may surprise you that at one time I was quite young like yourself. This all happened pretty early on in my piracy days. When ah was a young upstart with a fire in my belly and with my caution very intentionally placed to the wind." She begins to prepare her pipe. She hasn't looked in your direction since she began her story.

"I'd made a rather small name for myself by then. Had no shortage of plunder; trade ships, navy, even other pirates. Another young aspiring 'property reassigner' by the name of Capitan Helio had set his sights on my haul. He weren't an enemy or nothin' he just thought he could show his quality as a sailor by takin' on yours truly. He was a hard young man but not a very wise one, and he hadn't the stones for a killing. Now the style of piracy I'm most known fir was sneakin' on board, alone. My crew would keep the ship at an unthreatening distance, and I'd row on over in the dark of night aboard a tiny little dinghy painted all dark and sneaky like." At this point you notice she's starting to sound a bit different, perhaps a bit piratey. She seems almost excited.

"I'd usually get the capitan up in the middle of the night. Put on airs and act all big and scary in his cabin while he's got his night cap on." She chuckled deeply. "It's where my ship got its name. The Honeyed Word. Sometimes it'd go sour and things would get more... well let's say it's less family friendly. Anyway ol Sunny knew that's what I got up to. An' he figured if he could pull off me own stratagem against me and my crew that folks would respect 'im more I suppose." She puts some ember tongs in the fire and fishes out a small chunk of hot coal. She sets it in the bowl of her pipe and starts puffing intently before tossing the tongs aside.

"I'm shleeping shoundly in my cabin all comfy an' cozy" Her pipe hangs from between her teeth. She pinches free the coal from it with her fingers and tosses it back into the fire, taking a long drag from her now prepared pipe. "And in walks none other than ol' Sunny boy!" She slaps her knee and guffaws. "He hated it when ah called him that. So I sit up in my bed and I says to him 'fancy meeting you here! I don't normally take up gentleman callers.' An' I'm supposin' he thinks he's rather clever on account o' he starts up with 'I ain't no gentleman! Not tonight. Tonight I'm the most famous pirate on the seas.' What a bilge rat!" At this point she seems downright jovial.

"Now by then I'm real tired, and to be honest, fairly annoyed. I'm in my jammies and I've got to use the head somethin' fierce so I'm 'avin none of it. He starts goin' on about my unconditional surrender" She blows a raspberry crudely. "An' I'm barely hearin' 'im. I get outta bed and start heading for the bathroom like he's not even there. Obviously that upset Mr Sunny to no small degree. He reaches for his pistol and I'm quite the cocky lass so I just ignores it. I didn't think he had the stones for it."

You've been nursing your drink but she's finished hers. She's fully engrossed in her tale and is now pacing in front of the fire as she speaks. "That's when I hear it." She goes quiet and her grandiose gestures slump into a closed off position. It's a long moment where her eyes are empty and staring into nothing. Her tone was somber, almost fearful. "The hammer on his pistol. The flint strikes the frizzen. My heart sank. and then... nothing! I turn and I'm starin' down the barrel of his flintlock and I'm absolutely enraged! I hadn't made it out the door o' my cabin yet so I reach for the letter opener on my desk and start stickin' him!"

She's grinning, very in her element before she notices your discomfort at the idea of repeatedly... injuring a man with a letter opener. "Ahem. Sorry. He's fine now, we got him patched up okay after the whole incident. Anyway by now you're probably wondering what happened. Well the thing about pushing out in those little tiny boats at sea to sneak aboard is that it's not a very leisurely activity! I always kept me pistols wrapped thoroughly before headin' out, but the poor fool didn't think that far ahead! All his powder was soaked by the time he got aboard!"

You wonder about what lesson she's trying to teach here, or if she's simply recounting an incident as it happened. You can feel the coziness of the cabin beginning to take you. "The guest room's all right n' ready for ye over there. I knew that'd put ye to bed." She gives a hearty chuckle and motions to a door with her pipe. You find rest rather easily on the mountain of extra blankets.