#i'll go back to being a wallflower tomorrow

[mspoodle1]

[ocinstar]

Like a cake

Spencer x afab!reader

Summary: Spencer accidentally eats a special brownie and gets baked for the first time, making him reveal some things.

Cw: drug use (devils lettuce), fluff, use of y/n

A/n: cooked this up at 3 am while watching that scene in the perks of being a wallflower where charlie gets high and thought high spencer would be hilarious 😭

Also this is not proof read, so if u see any spelling mistakes, no you didn't 😇

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"Do I really have to go to this thing?" Spencer asked Derek from his seat beside me.

Derek had gotten an invite to a house party by some of his friends and had insisted on us coming along with him. Emily and I were pretty quick to accept the invitation, but it took a lot of convincing to get boy wonder to agree to join us. He only agreed after I promised to lend him my copy The Undertaker in the original Russian print.

"Yes, you do." Morgan answered with a breathy chuckle. Spencer sighed and sunk lower in his seat. I sort of felt bad now for pushing him to come, especially since I know he's uncomfortable with things like this. But that's also exactly why I pushed him, to get him out of his comfort zone a bit and have the chance to talk with people in a low stress environment. Derek had said the party wasn't supposed to be to big, just a few friends. Which of whom were all going to be intoxicated, therefore easier to talk to since drunk people tend to be less judgmental than sober people.

"Don't worry, spence. It'll be fun." I gave him a reassuring smile. He let out another sigh that let me know he didn't really believe me.

"Yeah, Reid. It'll be fun." Emily reiterated from the front seat. I didn't plan on leaving Spencer to fend for himself at this party of course. I planned on staying by his side until I was sure he was going to be fine, but I realized that might be a bit harder than I thought as we pulled up to the house. It was crowded with cars and some people hanging out on the front lawn. As we stepped out, we could hear the music coming from inside.

"This is definitely more than 'a few friends', Morgan." Spencer fidgeted with his hands nervous. Derek patted his back before clapping his shoulder and shaking him slightly.

"You'll be just fine, pretty boy." He said before him and Emily walked off and into the house. Spencer's anxiety was very apparent as he cracked and played with his fingers.

"We can leave if you really want to." I offered once I realized something like this might be way to out of his comfort zone. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

"No, no, it's fine."

"Are you sure?" I asked again just to make sure he was ok with this. He nodded his head yes so I linked my arm with his as I lead him into the party.

From the amount of cars parked outside of course I expected there to be way more people than previously anticipated, but I definitely didn't expect this many people. I held onto spencer's arm a bit tighter as we walk through the sea of people. I saw some people head down to where I assumed the basement was and lead spencer down the stairs. It was calmer down there, less people and softer music. So I thought this would be a better environment for spencer, who was currently as stiff as a board. I unlinked my arm from his to give him some space. I spotted the vacant couch and gestured for him to follow me as he went on about how Morgan was a liar.

"'Just a few people' he said. He promised just a few people! This is what I get for trusting him. He's always trying to get me to go to parties with him, of course it wasn't gonna be 'just a few people.'" His rant continued as we walked.

"Yes, yes, Derek is a liar and I'll put salt in his coffee tomorrow. But for now, just try to have a bit of fun tonight, ok?" I sat down on the couch, making myself comfortable. He sighed heavily and nodded.

"Ok, I'll try." He sat down, awkwardly positioned on the edge with his hands on his knees. It was obvious he felt uncomfortable sitting on a strange couch with God knows what on it. There was an ottoman beside the coffee table that looked like it opened up, so I opened it in hope to find something for spencer to sit on. Sure enough there was a thin blanket that looked clean.

"Here, up." I ordered him to stand and he did without a word. Cute.

I draped the blanket over the couch and gestured for spencer to sit back down. He smiled me gratefully as he sat back down, now looking much more comfortable.

"Thank you." I waved my hand dismissively, I mean it's the least I could do for making him come here. Some people filed back upstairs, so I saw an opportunity a drink from upstairs while it was basically empty down here.

"Will you be ok if I go get a drink?" He looked up at me with his gorgeous brown eyes, which made me want to just sit back down and forget about the drink.

"Yes, I'll be fine." He gave me a tight liped smile. I was reluctant to leave him, but I walked off regardless.

~~~

I felt awkward sitting all alone. After y/n left, I just started fiddling with my hands and looking around. I wish I had told y/n to stay. She was the only reason I had came and now without her here, i felt out of place.

I hear a group of people come down the stairs, their loud laughing filling the room. I get insanely anxious when I realize their voices getting closer to me.

"Hey man, mind if we sit here with you?" One of the guys ask. Of course I couldn't say no. Well technically I could, but I don't know how without coming across rude.

"Uh, yeah, sure." I slide over to the very end of the couch as 2 of them sat down and the others sat on the floor or stood. They continued their loud conversation and I wondered if I should just leave.

"Whatever, star wars and star trek are basically the same thing." One girl said from the floor. I suddenly thought back to earlier and the promise i made to y/n to try and have fun. So I interjected before I could over think it.

"Actually, Star Trek is more based on probable science as basis for it's plot while star wars is more sci-fantasy more focused on how people react to their surroundings, instead of how the surroundings are possible." I regretted opening my mouth immediately. They stared at me, surprised I had spoken to them.

"Thank you!" The guy sitting beside me shouted. "See! I told you!" He pointed at the girl who was speaking earlier. She simply rolled her eyes at him and he turned his head to me.

"Continue telling her how wrong she is." They all looked at me, waiting for me to continue my informational rant. Which I happily did. As I talked more about the differences and similarities between the 2 worlds, one of the guys, who I hadn't noticed had left, approached us with a plate of brownies. He held them out to the group and they all excitedly reached for them.

"You want one to?" He offered and held the plate out further so I could reach it. Of course I wasn't going to pass up a free treat, so I took one without giving it much thought.

"Thank you." I chewed on the browine as I carried on with what I was saying before being interrupted. This night is turning out to be fun after all. I do wish y/n was her though.

"Can I have another one please?"

~~~

Upstairs felt like a nostalgia trip back to high school. A room flooded with drunk people and people groping each other. It took some time to navigate my way through everyone and it took even longer finding the kitchen. But I eventually found my way. I was delighted seeing the familiar face of Derek Morgan as I entered.

"Well if it isn't the liar." He looked up from pouring his drink. He smiled at me and laughed.

"How's boy genius doing?" He asked as he took a sip of whatever drink he mixed together.

"I think he might climb out a window and run home any second now." I grabbed 2 empty solo cups, filling one up with water and the other with vodka and cranberry juice. Derek laughed.

"Ah I think he has a compelling reason to stay." He winked at me and I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. I regret telling him about my crush on spencer. I told him to shut up, which just make him chuckle.

We talked for a few minutes about how Emily had almost immediately found a girl to flirt with and has been with her all night. And almost as if on cue, she walked in. We all teased her about her party crush for a few minutes, until the teasing turn onto me. I also regretted telling Emily about my crush.

I hadn't realized how much time had passed till Emily mentioned something about spencer being left alone for so long. A whole 30 minutes had passed since I had come upstairs and I immediately felt bad for ditching spencer for so long without a word. I quickly grabbed the 2 cups and bid them goodbye before hurrying off.

Getting through all the people took longer than before since I had to be extra careful as to not spill anything. I felt relieved when I finally reached the stairs to the basement. I was worried that spencer had been just sitting there for the past half an hour in silence. But my worries were quickly squandered as I saw him talking with a group of people who looked to be about our age. He had changed spots, now sitting criss-cross on the coffee table while all the other's surrounded him like it was story time.

"And I don't understand why leia kissed luke if she literally said in return of the jedi that she always knew he was her brother." Spencer babbled on as the people around hilm laughed loudly.

"Hey, spence." I saw his eye's light up when he saw me and he smiled wide.

"Y/n!" He threw his hands up, which caused him to almost fall backwards. He caught himself just in time and giggled a bit. It wasn't until I got closer to him that I noticed how red his eyes were. That, mixed with his odd behavior, it was clear he was not sober.

"Are you stoned?" I tried my best to contain my laughter, but it was funny watching him rock back and forth looking like he was really thinking about the question i just asked.

"Yes. No. I only had 2 brownies." He counted 2 on his fingers and held them up to me. The people he was talking to all started laughing and spencer joined in with them, probably not registering they were laughing at him.

"Ok, wanna come with me to a quiet place away from these people?" I leaned in closer to him, careful not to let the others hear. He doesn't say anything right away, just looks at me with an expression i couldn't place, but one that made my stomach flutter.

"Yes, please." He whispers back and stands up quickly. He sways back and forth for a moment before steady himself.

"We're gonna go somewhere else." Spencer tells the group and they all start booing in protest and all shouting disappointed "no's". Spencer seemed unbothered by them, but does say a quick apology regardless. I gestured for him to follow me as I stared walking away. He waved them goodbye before hurrying after me.

I lead him down a dimly lit hallway and into an unlocked room, which thankfully had no one in it. It appeared to be a guest room that was pretty empty, besides a queen bed, a night stand with a lamp and a rug.

"Those people were nice. They knew nothing about star trek though." Spencer sat down on the rug, returning to his criss-cross position.

"You do know there's a bed right there." I laughed, pointing to the bed that was right behind him. He shrugged.

"The rug looked softer." He said as he felt the rug. I took a seat next to him, putting the drinks off to the side. He looked completely out of it, like he was on a different planet.

"How are you feeling?" I asked and leaned back against the bed.

"Weird."

"I assume you've never been stoned before?" He shakes his head.

"I've read about the effects of marijuana, euphoria, altered perception, impaired memory and cognition. But It's so much different actually experiencing it first hand. It feels weird. I also probably shouldn't have ate 2 of those brownies. Brownies sound really good right now. Oh! Another effect of marijuana is increased appetite, or the "munchies" as they call it." He smacked his lips together, then licks them.

"My mouth is really dry." I couldn't help but laugh. This is definitely not how i expected this night to go. He turns to me as I laugh with a painfully cute expression that made my stomach flip. I reached for the cup of water i had gotten for him earlier and handed it to him.

"Here." I chuckled and he took it quickly. He didn't even look to see what was in the cup before downing the whole thing. Once he had finished, he whipped his mouth and put the cup down.

"Thank you. Your so kind." He turned to me and smiled gratefully. He looked absolutely beautiful in that moment. His hair was slightly messy, his eyes were glossed over and dreamy looking, his smile was simply adorable and the light was hitting him just right. His compliment made me blush and I turned away from his gaze. I felt him continue to stare at me.

"I'm sorry you're stuck taking care of me. I know you probably wanted to have fun tonight." His face had dropped and he sighed.

"It's ok, spence. I am having fun." I reassured him. Witnessing his first experience being high was admittedly very entertaining. He sighed again. He just looked at me in silence for a few moments, making me nervous.

"You're so amazing." He blurts out suddenly. His words took me by surprise and I felt my face heat up, probably now a light shade of pink.

"You're so pretty too. And caring, and smart, and funny, and pretty." His tone was light and distant, like he wasn't aware he wad saying all this out loud. That made me snap back to reality and remember that he was high. I felt a wave of disappointment hit me when I realized he was probably just saying all this stuff because he was stoned, not because he meant it.

"Ok, spence." I said dismissively and laughed a bit to hide my disappointment.

"I think you're the most amazing person I've ever met. I mean, there's a party happening right now and you choose to stay with me. You're always doing that, taking care of me. I think that's why I love you so much." The last part really caught my attention, my disappointment quickly dissipating and being replaced with shock.

Did he really just say that? I know I shouldn't take anything he says right now seriously, but admitting that he loves me seems pretty serious. I take a few seconds just to process what he had just said. I was sure he didn't mean it like that, I'm sure he meant as just a friend. But that didn't stop my heart from fluttering.

"What?" I finally said with a uncontrollable smile on my face. He turned to me, confused.

"What?"

"You just said you love me." His eyes widened and he shot up straight.

"What?!" He looked at me like a deer caught in headlights. He groaned, putting his head in his hands and shaking his head.

"Spence, it's ok. I know you didn't mean it like that." He sighed. He said something, but it was muffled by his hands.

"I can't hear you." He sighed again and lifed his head up so i could hear him clearer.

"I did mean it like that." He said, his voice quite and low. I couldn't believe what i had heard, so I just stared at him in shock for a moment. He glanced over to me when I didn't say anything for to long, groaning when he saw my shocked expression.

"Ugh, this is not how I wanted to tell you." He put his head back in his hands and slouched forward.

"I know you don't feel the same and we're just friends. I'm so sorry, y/n. You can forget I ever said that, i don't want it to be awkward or uncomfortable for you. I just-"

"Who said I didn't feel the same?" I cut him off before he got to in his head. He turned his head so face that I thought he'd get whipe lash, his red eyes wide in surprise.

"Wait, what?" The look on his face made me giggle.

"You're smart and funny and kind and you're insanely cute, you understand me in a way no one ever has. You're so passionate about your work and helping people. You're the most incredible, extraordinary person I've ever known. How could I not love you?" I felt a huge weight lift off my chest as I tell him everything I've wanted to say to him for so long. He just stares at me wide eyed, his mouth opening like he was about to say something, but then closing it again.

"I- what- wait- huh?" He stammered, making me laugh.

"I'm sorry, it must be the drugs or my own wishful thinking. But did you just say what I think you said?" A piece of hair fell onto his face, so I tucked it behid his ear. His face turned red and his mouth hung agape slightly.

"Maybe we should talk about this when you're sober."

"No, I want to talk about it now." He scooted closer to me. I was almost certain this is not how he wanted this conversation to go, him stoned out of his mind and in some random room in a random house. Of course I wanted to say it again, to tell him I love him and that I've loved him for years. But I'd rather tell him that when he can process more than 1/2 things at once.

"Later, when you're not baked like a cake." He laughed like it was the funniest joke he'd ever heard.

"'Baked like a cake'" He repeated after his laughter died down to a frequent giggle. His face suddenly turned more serious and he looked me right in the eye.

"Cake sounds so good right now." His face was so serious, like he had to have cake at that very moment or someone would kill his whole family. The intensity on his face was enough to make me burst into laughter. I had to look away from him to compose myself, so I didn't see him go to lay down. I felt his head rest on my thighs, the sudden contact taking me by surprise. I look down to see him turned away from me with his eye's closed.

After my initial shock disappeared, I hesitantly ran my fingers through his hair. He sighed in content and placed his hand on my knee. I smiled to myself as I continued to play with his hair.

"I'm tired." He mumbled. As if almost on cue, i felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I took it out to reveal a text from Derek. I chuckled as I read it over.

"Well you're in luck because Emily puked on a girl and now we're leaving." I tried to get up, but his head remained on my lap.

"Come on, spence. You gotta get up." He groaned in protest and gripped my leg to keep me in place.

"Don't wanna."

"Spencer." I said softly. I didn't want to move either, but unless we wanted to take a taxi home, we had to get up. He sighed before pushing himself up, his hair a complete mess. I reached over to fix it for him, combing his hair with my fingers. He looked at me like I was an angel on earth, his eyes fixed on me. Though the urge to pull him in right then was strong, but I had to get him home.

"Come on." I stood, reaching my hand out to help him up. I interlocked his hand with mine once he had stood up. I lead him out the door, back out to the basement, upstairs and through the crowd to the front yard where Derek was waiting for us.

"Hey, love birds." He smirked when he caught sight of our interlocked hands.

"Hi, Morgan. Do you have any snacks in your car?" Spencer asked. Morgan looked at him funny and smiled wide when he saw his red eyes.

"Are you baked?" Spencer giggled to himself before responding.

"Like a cake." He started laughing and Derek looked at me for answers.

"I'll tell you later." Derek nodded and walked over to his car, me and spencer following behind. Emily was already in the front seat, passed out. I felt bad for how she was going to feel in the morning.

The ride home was quiet, besides the occasional snore coming from Emily. I turned to Spencer to see him fighting off sleep, his eyes just slivers and struggling to keep his head up. I squeeze his hand to get his attention. He turned to me with tired eyes and I gestured for him to lean his head on my shoulder. He whispered a "thank you" before resting his head on my shoulder. We stayed that way till we reached Spencer's apartment complex.

I shook him slightly as we parked outside his building. His eyes opened slightly and he removed his head from my shoulder.

"Come on, I'll walk you inside." He gave me a tired smile. I escorted him out the car and into his building.

He talked about the book he was reading on the way up to his apartment, he barely making any sense as he did so. Once we reached his door he got quiet.

"You really meant it right?" He asked and I looked at him confused.

"Meant what?"

"What you said earlier." I smiled once I realized what he was talking about.

"Of course I meant it."

"Good. I meant it to." He smiled sweetly. I would've never imagined that spencer would like me back, or that I'd find out this way. But I'm happy regardless. I'm so happy. Spencer Reid, my best friend, loves me.

I cupped his cheek and leaned in to kiss his cheek. He looked at me wide eyed when I pulled away.

"Goodnight, spence."

"G'night." He muttered, his surprise still evident. I waved him goodbye before heading back down to the car.

The ride back to my place consisted of telling Morgan how spencer had managed to get high on accident and him telling me how Emily drank way to much, resulting in her throwing up all over the girl she'd been flirting with. I left out the love confession part to avoid any further torment that spencer would definitely have to endure from him at work.

As he talked about what had happened while me and spencer where in the basement, I thought about everything that had happened. My smile grew more and more as I replayed the events of tonight. Just then, I felt my phone buzz. My smile growing impossibly wide when I read the text on the screen.

*ate everything in my fridge. I love you.*

I laughed before typing my response.

*I love you too.*

~~~

A/n: first tumblr fic guys! This was longer then i expected so oopsies my b 🤗 anyways, hope you enjoyed!

[rutilation]

This opening is replete with symbolism. 

Flower language has been a recent fascination of mine.

Do you want to make my new hyperfixation your problem? If so, then let's take a deep dive into the first opening before the new one airs tomorrow.

Before I start, here are a couple of things to keep in mind.

While the use of flower language in this show mostly lines up with Japanese hanakotoba, there are still a number of flowers here that hold particular significance within Chinese culture, and thus have additional meanings that don't line up with those from Japan.  I’ll be mentioning them alongside the Japanese meanings where I deem it relevant.

The following will contain light spoilers of content from the novels/manga which has not been animated at the time of writing. I'll try to be vague and sparing with it, but there are a few flowers I can't discuss without them.

Past the title card, the opening begins with eight blooming flowers dancing through the frame in rapid succession.  These represent the storylines covered by the first cour of the anime in order of appearance, and each can be found in the episode(s) they signify.  From the top:

Rhododendron: This plant is all over the first two episodes, so I'm going to cover its appearances before delving into its meaning. In episode one, there are two shots of the buds of this plant, one as Lihua gives birth, and then again as the doctor examines her baby. They're finally shown in full bloom as one of her ladies disregards the branch Maomao used to warn of the toxic makeup. In the following episode, Gyokuyou has seemingly taken a liking to the flower that saved her daughter's life, and a few clusters can be seen in a vase during several shots before Maomao uses them as an example of a seemingly innocuous plant that could cause accidental poisoning, and indeed, if you look closely at the background during the scene with the soldiers, you can see what appear to be rhododendron shrubs. There are actually quite a few different possible meanings for the many granular varieties of Rhododendrons/azaleas.  Luckily, the characters said the name of the plant out loud for me: shakunage.  So, this is Rhododendron subg. Hymenanthes.  In hanakotoba it means dignity and majesty, but also, on account of its poison, danger and caution. Those last two meanings clearly line up with its ominous usage in these first episodes, growing and maturing as the babies grew sicker. But in addition to their function as a warning of danger, I think there's a case to be made that they also represent Gyokuyou herself. As I stated earlier, she starts keeping them after the first episode, and Hongniang later starts growing the closely-related azaleas in the jade pavilion as well. As for how its meanings apply to her, Gyokuyou is regal, magnanimous, and never loses her composure (unless it's at Jinshi's expense lol,) but she's also described by Gaoshun as shrewd and cautious, being unwilling to hire any lady she doesn't absolutely trust, and constantly gleaning information to send back to her family. These all fit with the dual meanings of rhododendron. In Chinese culture, rhododendrons and azaleas represent womanhood and passion, as well as home and a desire for homecoming.

Cotton rose: A type of hibiscus, this represents Fuyou, decorating both her person and her chambers in episode 3.  It means 'delicate beauty' and 'graceful lover.' I think these are referring to both her skill in dancing, as well as her affectation of frailty and neuroticism. As far as I could dig up, its unique tendency to change color based on the time of day doesn't have particular bearing on its meaning in either Chinese or Japanese culture, but the story itself uses it as a metaphor for Fuyou hiding her passion, will, and cunning behind a wallflower exterior.

Balloon flower:  In hanakotoba, it represents undying love, sincerity, and grace. These grow in the crystal pavilion, adorn the iconography of Lihua's furniture, and likely inform her blue and violet color scheme. Its last two descriptors gesture towards Lihua's style and personality. She's elegant and staid, but she also takes everything quite seriously, and wears her heart on her sleeve. As for the undying love element, I see that as alluding to her love for her son, her agony at his passing, and her hopes of reclaiming that love again through having another child.

Violet: This one actually tripped me up for the longest time.  The flowers in the opening looked like hostas to me, but no matter how closely I looked at the backgrounds in this show, I couldn’t find anything along those lines.  Eventually though, I caught on that these must be the violets from episode five, even if they’re a different color from those shown in the episode.  And also droopier.  Anyway, violets mean humility, sincerity, and ‘a little bit of happiness.’  In the episode proper, they are crushed underfoot as Maomao narrates about the lengths she had to go to keep herself safe while growing up in the red-light district, illustrating how even the modest aspirations of an ordinary peasant are in perpetual danger in such a cutthroat environment.

Chinese aster: Daisies and asters are my least favorite flowers to identify.  They all look the same.  As such, I’m a little less confident about this one, but I think it’s a Chinese aster.  The leaves and buds look similar, and the context in which it appears in episode six suits its meaning.  As Lishu’s ladies disparage her so-called pickiness, a shot of this flower opens the episode.  While the Chinese aster’s meaning changes based on color, white in particular means ‘please believe me.’ I think that speaks for itself

Toad lily:  This appears twice during episode eight, where Maomao gets drawn into the mystery of an attempted murder during her vacation.  Toad lilies symbolize hidden thoughts and intentions, alluding both to the possible conspiracy on the part of the women of the brothel, and to the fact that Maomao will never really know the truth of the incident, having to content herself with speculation.

Sacred bamboo: This one is easy to miss, because while the plant is in full bloom in the opening, it’s laden with berries in the show proper.  This is Nandina, a.k.a. the sacred bamboo, a mainstay of autumn and winter floral arrangements in both China and Japan.  It’s considered auspicious, symbolizing a reversal of ill fortune into prosperity--the precise opposite of how it’s presented in episode nine of the show.  There, Maomao fiddles with the plant as she contemplates all the instances she’s seen of good fortune being struck down by tragedy, and the prospect of that same sword of Damocles falling upon her head as well, a harbinger of eucatasrophe being used to symbolize straight catastrophe.  Also worth noting is the fact that the plant is very poisonous, so much so that it has a reputation for killing any birds which try to eat its berries; I think that bit of trivia might be the inspiration behind the decision to ironically invert its lucky image.  In addition to its central appearance in episode nine, it can also be seen in Lishu’s chambers in episode ten, mixed in among the vases of white camellias.

Japanese azalea: These mean passion and steadfastness, alluding, in my view, to Fengming’s devotion towards Ah-duo.  Fun fact: did you know that honey made from toxic azaleas, termed ‘mad honey,’ is sometimes manufactured on purpose?  It’s not super legal in most of the world, but apparently it can be used as a psychedelic.

After this, we see a panning shot of seven flowers, with the top four representing the high-ranking concubines, and the bottom three representing the high-ranking courtesans. While the first set of flowers grew from buds and flew across the screen, this set consists of still images. If I were to hazard a guess as to why, I'd say that it's because those previous flowers were conveying the movement of emergent stories, while these upcoming flowers portray the relatively static personality traits of individual characters. I'm going to tackle these in reverse order, as the first three flowers to appear are somewhat tricky to talk about.

Peony: This flower represents Gyokuyou, and in addition to appearing in her non-diegetic floral backgrounds, it also decorates the tapestries of the jade pavilion. In Chinese culture, peonies are one of, if not the most, important flowers. They represent feminine beauty, pride, honor, renown, wealth, prosperity, high-status, opulence, and a nobility of spirit. They are considered to be the king of flowers, and were historically only permitted to be grown by nobility. All of these superlatives are likely alluding towards Gyokuyou's status as the emperor's favorite consort, with the best shot at becoming empress.

Balloon flower: See above.

Lily-of-the-valley: This means purity, chastity, humility, and 'happiness will come again.' While the first three all seem to fit Lishu on their face, I find myself curious about the fourth meaning. I'm only partway through the third novel, but if this indicates that, at some point in the future, Lishu finally catches a break, then I'll certainly be happy to see it.

Dendrobium: In China, orchids in general are associated with elegance, refinement, and good taste, which fits with Maomao's description of the garnet pavilion as being beautiful in a minimalist sort of way. They also represent the virtues of an ideal gentleman-scholar: integrity, humility, temperance, and nobility. Furthermore, they are considered emblematic of spring; it, along with bamboo, chrysanthemum, and plum blossom, represent the four seasons. Returning to Japanese symbolism, the flower associated with Ah-duo seems to specifically be Dendrobium nobile. Nobile in particular means 'honest and to-the-point' in hanakotoba, likely alluding to Ah-duo's candid personality, and the fact that she is on casual terms with the emperor.

Regarding the final three flowers, the show itself doesn't explicitly tie any one of them to a particular courtesan--their flowers only appear as a group in episode twelve. But, by contemplating their meanings, and with some help from the characters' wiki pages, we can make some educated guesses.

Yulan Magnolia: This one, I'm guessing, represents Joka. On one hand, I'm kind of dumping her with this because the other two flowers just seem to fit the other two courtesans better, but its attributes nonetheless seem to accord what we know of her character--which admittedly isn't very much. In hanakotoba the yulan magnolia means nobility, sublimity and a love of nature. In China, its pretty similar: purity, nobility, dignity. It's also worth noting that they're commonly planted around Buddhist temples in China, and have been for many centuries, granting them an air of spiritual profundity. Joka is said to be aloof and cold, which is part of her appeal as a courtesan. While chrysanthemums and plum blossoms have a warmer aspect to their meanings, the loftiness of magnolia hews more closely to her characterization. Then there's the matter of her name, which is apparently a stage name. It translates to 'Lady Ka' (or 'Hua,' if you want to go with the Mandarin pronunciation.) Now, the 'ka' in her name is written as 華, and in the story, that character is only permitted to be used by the emperor and his family. So, for her to use it, even as a stage name, is a pretty bold pretense to nobility.

Chrysanthemum: In Japan, chrysanthemums are associated with nobility and the imperial family. In China, they are associated with longevity, endurance, and vitality, on account of their long-lasting blooms that persist late into autumn. I think this is most likely to be Pairin's flower. She's one of the few courtesans who's in her line of work because she wants to be, and is flourishing in an environment where others are desperate and debt-ridden. That covers 'vitality,' and Lihaku can attest to her endurance, if you know what I mean... Moving on, its mentioned in the novels that she's actually in her thirties, but still looks quite young, again harkening to the chrysanthemum's persistence.

As far as symbolism is concerned, chrysanthemums do seem to fit her character better than magnolias. But, something that gives me pause is her name, which means 'white bell,' on account of yulan magnolias being white and having a bell-like shape. I still think it's most likely that the chrysanthemum, and not the magnolia, belongs to her, but it was too notable a coincidence to not at least mention.

Plum Blossom: We can safely assume this one refers to Meimei, as her name is written with the character for plum. As plum trees are among the earliest to bloom each year, and will even bloom while snow still covers their branches, both China and Japan associate them with resilience, hope, inner-strength, and renewal. We don't know much about Meimei either, but my impression of her is that she seems to be the nicest and most even-keeled of Maomao's sisters.

Following this parade of showy flowers, we finally glimpse the emblem of our protagonist, Oxalis corniculata, the creeping wood sorrel, downcast and huddled amidst the underbrush of a forest. Whereas the other flowers we've seen thus far are primarily ornamental (even if some are also edible/medicinal,) wood sorrel is herbaceous and weedy, and is unlikely to grace any vases, wreaths, or arrangements. If it were spotted in a noble's garden, it would likely be uprooted, but to the peasant who finds it growing in a ditch, it's a tasty snack.

In hanakotoba, wood sorrel means joy, 'shining heart,' and 'a mother's love.' All three descriptors, I believe, are relevant to Maomao's character. Despite her flat affect, Maomao has a strong passion and sense of joie de vivre driving her through life. Those further along in either the novels or the manga will recognize 'a mother's love' as (somewhat ironically) gesturing towards her complicated relationship with her mother. As for 'shining heart,' I think that will become apparent as we go further through the opening.

But, before we do that, I'd like to take a moment to examine the moments when wood sorrel appears in the show itself. Thus far, by my recollection, it has appeared in episodes one, three, and twelve. The opening shot of the first episode is of a wood sorrel, informing the viewer in no uncertain terms that this is Maomao's flower, (in case the opening was too subtle.) In the third episode, several wood sorrels dot the field where Fuyou sits with her lover, symbolizing how Maomao has aided and protected them. In episode twelve, a single wood sorrel is tucked inside a lavish bouquet of her sister's flowers, a visual gag paralleling them fussing and fawning over her.

Returning to the opening, Maomao is shown contemplating a subtle glow in her closed hands while a reflected, sunlit version of herself glances back at her. Then, as all the previous flowers fall away, as Maomao casts the light up into the air, its glow illuminating her face, the wood sorrel finally stands upright, and blooms in full.

Now is a good time to mention a relevant characteristic of creeping wood sorrel: it only blooms in direct sunlight. When crowded by other plants, it curls in on itself, closing both its flower and leaves. This serves as a clear metaphor for Maomao's personality; under most circumstances, she seeks to be invisible and unobtrusive, but when she's in her element, she commands attention and respect.

Following this, we have her magical girl-esque transformation sequence, with her outstretched hands forming the shape of a blooming flower as she dances through a whirl of yellow wood sorrel petals. She then bows down in imitation of the flower, taking the light back into her chest (there's that shining heart I mentioned earlier,) as she dissolves into the stoic, unassuming version of herself once more, closing out the opening. (Jinshi who?)

I'd like to end this analysis with an observation. While the real wood sorrel exists at the perpetual mercy of outside forces, Maomao is not merely reacting to a light source that exists beyond her control. The light exists within her, and she chooses when it will shine down for all to see, and when she will hide it away in the depths of her heart. To those who've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading.

[cryptidcorners]

~ Josh Futturman x Reader ~

= Title: Mutual

= Character: Josh Futturman

= Media: Show!Future Man

= Prompt: N/A

= Description: An overwhelming party at Kronish labs brings you to the empty halls around back. Fortunately for you, somebody had the same idea.

= Request: N/A

= Tags: Part 1(?), Fluff, Party Setting, Sweet Talk, Shy!Josh, First Meeting, Flirting, Just Cute Stuff ! + Reader is !GN

= Warnings: None.

= Please read my INTRO before interacting !

Instead of stirring around in conversation, you were glued towards the edges of the party. You were a wallflower, unable to engage in celebration with narrowed eyes. Your co-workers were mere strangers right now, only they were swimming in fancy wear, and everything felt so slow.

You didn't want to loiter around. The event had only started a little while ago, and you didn't want to leave entirely either. You had dressed yourself too nicely, too much time spent just to discard it was an idea you weren't married to in the slightest. The fluorescent lights were getting distracting, along with the waving crowd. With a heavy inhale, you shuffled narrowly through the party towards empty halls around some doors you didn't bother identifying.

Your senses eased the party blurring behind you. As much as you hated being alone, it was better than standing around with nothing but white noise keeping you company.

You were about to avert your eyes to your cell until you heard footsteps tracing close to you. Like a startled deer, you whipped your head upwards. "Hello?"

Your eyes focused on a short man, dressed sharply. He looked more startled than you. "Oh, sorry." His whisky eyes flashed away nervously and he halted incredibly quickly. "Sorry,"

You cleared your throat, "No, no. It's alright, uh," you trailed off, studying him. You released a relaxed exhale, "Josh? Right? I think I've heard of you before?"

"Oh, yeah. That's me," he laughed softly. "I didn't know people knew my name."

"I know a lot of people." You extended your hand, introducing yourself professionally. The air was awkward, but gentle in a way. Maybe it was because you were both driven away from interaction.

"Hey, uh," Josh scratched the back of his neck. "What are you doing back here?"

You shyly admitted, "Not feeling the party. You?"

A sigh of relief escaped Josh's lips. "Me too. I'm also, kind of," he trailed off. "Nevermind."

Your brow cocked with curiosity, but you didn't dive too deep into it. You smiled softly, for some odd reason. Everything felt tingly, and you couldn't even hear the party anymore.

"I haven't seen you so close before." You smiled, "I've heard about you before. You're close to Kronish right?"

He placed his hands on his sides with a shrug, "I guess so, yeah? Yeah."

You had no idea how awkward he was in person. Well, you never truly knew him. You always saw him as a janitor, and you were just a scientist. You both had locked eyes before, but nothing more than that.

Josh broke you from the thought, "You know, you look great. Love the, uh-, blue?"

You found his attempts to compliment you adorable and you succumbed to flattery mighty quick. You brushed your face, "Thank you. I think you look pretty nice too."

Then you felt the need to ask, "Did you come here with anyone? I apologize if I'm crossing the line,"

"Oh, no. I haven't." Josh answered. "You?"

"No. Unfortunately." You fumbled with your hands, " I'm surprised you didn't get a date. I mean, you just . . ." You huffed. "I dunno, I'm just surprised."

"Really?" Josh's voice softened, "Me?" He walked toward.

"Well, yeah. I've also thought you'd have one." Before you could continue, Kronish's voice echoed through the halls. He noticeably flinched and veered his gaze behind him. "Oh, shit." He huffed. "Look, I-I, gotta go. I can't miss that speech."

Josh stumbled away, before scrambling back. "I'll talk to you another time. Tomorrow?"

You struggled to get an answer, "Yeah. Yeah." You nodded eagerly. You both stared at each other for a few gentle seconds before he waved and ran down. You couldn't help but feel something swarm on your stomach.

"Wow," It was either butterflies, or the alcohol.

You brushed your lip lightly.

Both?

[threenorth]

The cards tonight hit a little to close to home.

And they said some real tough things that I'll need to ponder about.

I hope your doing okay, I hope soup is doing well seeing in my mind he's still playing with tampons hopefully not getting strings down his tummy again.

I'd say I miss your tiktoks, the funny mm to the b, the whimsical side of you being you.

I watched this funny meme of cars

Sorry it's hard to juggle all my responsibilities at least I'm getting my focus back, I think it's the meds that caused my side effect but to make sure I had a "safe* dinner(fake chicken tenders and a colsaw without mayo on spinach wraps pretty dull tbh) I won't have breakfast tomorrow.. Or the oats but maybe some peanut butter toast, incase it was to much cocoa powder and then wait to see if it happens again.. And to be safe maybe it was my mega coffee or the amount of orange juice I've had the past few days being more acidic, I don't really know but it's the most common side effect but it's been a few days and it's supposed to take a few weeks to kick in? but whatever it was shit that was scary for a few minutes...

While my computer has issues, I haven't had a chance to sort out one of my personal projects it's getting there slowly but needs a little more cash then I can afford right now, it's supposed to be like a private Netflix with my favorite movies or TV shows.

I'll get my pc what I think it's faulty the part looked at next Saturday on warnety hopefully, but it's hard to relax and have me time, and then have to do an MBA... I tell myself it's only a few more months and hopefully I'll never have to see accounting or economics again 😂

Looking forward to goverance and corporate strategy those are probably my favorite cutting red tape and making distrubion is what I want to do with my life outside corporate life but tech startups and oh yes... Movie scripts when my adhd actually let's me try focus on something.

Trying to get a draft soundtrack as well is impossible to be perfect like... Juno, 500 days of summer,little miss sunshine, garden state, Forrest Gump.

Or even how a song ties in to the story, like perks of being a wallflower.

I'm trying to also think about a movie about where a character meditates so I can get an excuse to research some different topics on Wikipedia, I don't know if you saw maybe I shared but I got some books from the Hari chishnas.

I think I said I'm working part time Monday to Wednesday for a month already? If I didn't I reduced some hours to try work on my mental health and it's been good so far until yesterday when I came off lorzopam whitch I expected given what the psych said but tonight I'm gonna try sleep without quintinpin but I'm not sure if I'm getting a deep enough sleep might need to investigate my birthday present to myself this year might have to be a high end Garmin, with topo maps incase we go out in the middle of nowhere.

Thursday I'm seeing my dietain, and I'll tell her I'm gaining weight again now my mind is quiter then it was but I need to work on protein shakes In between my meals still.

This Friday I'm seeing my ent hopefully to get the all clear from my nose surgery seems it's better than ever like night and day almost at the gym and my Allgeries in this damn house that was getting me sick.

Goodnight from me, you'll be awake soon, drink some water or green tea, I really need to drink more matcha maybe tomorrow I'll try it after these meds issues in the evening and add some of my almoulmd milk I'm supposed be drinking 3 liters a week of.

I hope to see you in my dreams again, this time can you put some subtlites on your elvish.

Yours

Xoxo

R

P.S

This 9th anniversary, I suppose I've been thinking about parts of you within my memory and how some things remind me of you, in different voids of memory, or just in nature...

The hot water pools warm as her soul, the mountains as beautiful as her mind, her bumps and curves like clifs and ridges.

between her eyes, those hazel eyes I can see galaxies to my world just wish I spent more time staring into them.

I see it in my morning crema if I try hard enough, Maybe soon I'll be able to day dream into her soul asmuch I think about her long blonde hair, bright as the and long and tall as sunflowers on the interstate invewtteen where I am and where I'm headed.

her long legs like the redwoods of California tall and magestic, she is like a Michigan sunset in all her colours.

Her an hugs as warm as all my blankets during winter, and her kiss as sweet as Ramune, her hands feeling electric like a bolt of lightning to recharge my soul.

It's raining, and I can hear the flowers thankful for their nutrition, as I use to call out in my sorrow in my past, I now I'm greatful to grow again hearing her in the clouds creating music for all those who know how to listen to it.

(I've tried a few different endings but they all felt shit so this was the least shitty one)

In the fragile fragments of my memory where I can smell memories like a fragrance, of the flowers she planted in my mind. Her beauty is there, and here.

[jinglejanglemornings]

oh no maybe i do actually like the smiths

[cereuscross]

Just a snack...

Hello lovelies! I'm going to take a week off from all forms of social media, after today, to catch up on my life neglected duties. I'll write as much as I can during that free time. Don't worry, I left you all with something to snack on until I can be more active next week! Please note I had every intention of adding ALL of the ROs in on this but... erm... the short story wrote itself and M kind of hogged the glory. As usual, MALE version is on top with FEMALE version under the cut. ❤

You look down at your drink and swish it around in the plastic cup, watching the amber colored liquid froth and bubble. Then, you pour the contents down the sink with a look of distain. Witches brew – it was an adult’s beverage with a kick meant to knock you on your ass for the rest of the night and the next one, too.

Totally not your style. You were determined to endure this party with a heavy dose of sobriety.

From somewhere over the loud music, drumming like pandemonium in your head, you hear Silas yelling. “What are you doing?!”

“Oh, you know,” you mutter more to yourself since you know he can’t hear you, yet. “Just being captain of the unfun club.”

Silas comes up from beside you, snatching the plastic cup from your hand. “We talked about this before you got here, didn’t we? You’re going to let loose tonight.”

“Just this once,” you mimic the tone of your brother’s voice, while he turns and refills the cup in his hand from the murky looking cannister sitting on the granite countertop. You wouldn’t drink that slosh, even if it held all the secrets of the universe.

Silas hands you back the drink, and you immediately dump the contents into the sink. This time crushing the bit of plastic with your hands, then tossing it in the nearby trash bin.

“We are sooo not doing this,” he hisses, grasping you by the elbow, and tugging you out into the living room where everyone else seems to be loitering. Nearby, your eyes land on a couple making out and you can’t help but roll your eyes at the open display. Jesus Christ is all you can think as you’re suddenly stopped and parked in front of Taj, who seems to perk up in interest at your forced arrival.

“Not having fun, I take it?” Taj chuckles, once he takes one glance at your facial expression, which you image is about as dead as you feel on the inside.

“Not even a little bit,” you grumble, tossing a glare at your bothersome brother. “Why is it so frowned upon to not want to be the drunk sorority girl at a party?”  

“Beats me,” Taj says, with a grin. He raises the beer in his hand, doing a salute. “Don’t worry, I’ll be the sorority girl.”

Silas laughs, and you find yourself grinning at the admission. “Now, go and do something wild... for me! This is your party! You can’t be a wallflower the entire time!” Silas exclaims, before releasing you and patting you on the head like a child.

You ignore his attempt to rile you up and watch as he disappears into the nearby crowd.

“Want to trade siblings?” you suggest with a toothy smirk.

“Not today. Ask me tomorrow,” Taj replies, leaning against the wall with a smile.

You glance around, not seeing anyone you know besides the werewolf in front of you. “Your” party – what a liar. “Where is Trent, anyway?”

“Hiding out, I’m sure,” he says, then takes a long swig of beer, arching a brow. “You interested?”

“Huh?” you sputter, glad that you don’t have a drink in hand. “Of course not!”

Taj only hmms before stepping forward and pressing his lips to your ear. His voice lowers to a sultrier tone that's meant for only you to hear. “Good, I would hate to show you my jealous side. I can be very bad.”

When he pulls away, you swallow hard and thin your lips. “I – uh, just remembered I’m supposed to meet someone!”

You rush off before you can think better of how ridiculous you just acted. Gah. You’re practically a walking side show at this point. Taj is never going to let you live this down.

Unsure of where you should go, given Silas rented out the house for the party, you decide being outside is your best bet.

Greeted by a cool breeze the moment you slide open the glass doors, you hesitate when your eyes land on Mersus, who is sitting across from where you’re now standing, at the edge of the pool. His legs are submerged in the water, and you bite back a gasp when he peers up at you with a dark gaze. His silver eyes are unblinking, unmoving from your figure as you cross the distance to go and sit beside him.

“I have been waiting for you,” he says, before finally flicking his attention away and onto the onlookers who have gathered around the diving board. You follow his gaze, seeing several people gathered there, seemingly hungry for the demon’s attention. Although, his appearance does not betray what he truly is, instead he wears the appearance of a Fae. With dark brown skin, long silver hair and eyes. The thin, iridescent markings around his neck climb like vines to rest at the bottom of his lip.

“Leave,” he growls, the command tinted with the barest hint of power, brushing close to the darkness he keeps buried within. At once the group scatters like ash to wind, taking off and disappearing into the house, not daring to look back.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you chide, turning your focus back toward him. His jaw clenches a few times before he meets your eyes.

“I wish to have you alone,” comes the quiet reply. “Was it wrong of me?”

You bite your lip, a thousand different responses wanting to spill out. Instead, you focus on the one that shares not even a glimpse of the affection within your heart. “It’s wrong to freely use your power like that. One day someone might notice…”

Your voice trails off, hinting at the deep implications of how bad that could be.

“Senseless worry,” Mersus says, waving off your words with a taloned hand. “I shall rid the world of any who prove to be a burden.”

You sigh, then glance down at the water. “Do you swim?”

“It’s been known to happen,” a hint of amusement tugs at his lips, something near a smile lights his eyes.

“Silas wanted me to be crazy tonight, so I guess I’ll break out of my comfort zone and go for a swim. That is, if you’ll join me?”

Before you can make a move, Mersus slides into the pool, sinking his slender body into the water like a serpent. When he comes up, his hair is wet and plastered back behind his long, slender ears. Silently, he waits.

You jump into the pool, a lot less elegant and sink to the bottom like a stone before kicking your legs out behind you and swimming upwards. Mersus grasps you along the wrist the moment your face touches the air above. “What is it?” you ask, slightly worried by his sudden closeness.

Mersus deflects the question with a drawn-out silence, one that has you reeling in confusion. And something else… something almost sinful in its desperation.

Then, he releases you as someone laughing steps outside on their phone.

You look down at your drink and swish it around in the plastic cup, watching the amber colored liquid froth and bubble. Then, you pour the contents down the sink with a look of distain. Witches brew – it was an adult’s beverage with a kick meant to knock you on your ass for the rest of the night and the next one, too.

Totally not your style. You were determined to endure this party with a heavy dose of sobriety.

From somewhere over the loud music drumming like pandemonium in your head, you hear Silas yelling. “What are you doing?!”

“Oh, you know,” you mutter more to yourself since you know he can’t hear you, yet. “Just being captain of the unfun club.”

Silas comes up from beside you, snatching the plastic cup from your hand. “We talked about this before you got here, didn’t we? You’re going to let loose tonight.”

“Just this once,” you mimic the tone of your brother’s voice, while he turns and refills the cup in his hand from the murky looking cannister sitting on the granite countertop. You wouldn’t drink that slosh, even if it held all the secrets of the universe.

Silas hands you back the drink, and you immediately dump the contents into the sink. This time crushing the bit of plastic with your hands, then tossing it in the nearby trash bin.

“We are sooo not doing this,” he hisses, grasping you by the elbow, and tugging you out into the living room where everyone else seems to be loitering. Nearby, your eyes land on a couple making out and you can’t help but roll your eyes at the open display. Jesus Christ is all you can think as you’re suddenly stopped and parked in front of Tara, who seems to perk up in interest at your forced arrival.

“Not having fun, I take it?” Tara laughs, once she takes one glance at your facial expression, which you image is about as dead as you feel on the inside.

“Not even a little bit,” you grumble, tossing a glare at your bothersome brother. “Why is it so frowned upon to not want to be the drunk sorority girl at a party?”  

“Beats me,” Tara says, with a grin. She raises the beer in her hand, doing a salute. “Don’t worry, I’ll be the sorority girl.”

Silas chuckles, and you find yourself grinning at the admission. “Now, go and do something wild... for me! This is your party! You can’t be a wallflower the entire time!” Silas exclaims, before releasing you and patting you on the head like a child.

You ignore his attempt to rile you up and watch as he disappears into the nearby crowd.

“Want to trade siblings?” you suggest with a toothy smirk.

“Not today. Ask me tomorrow,” Tara replies, leaning against the wall with a smile.

You glance around, not seeing anyone you know besides the werewolf in front of you. “Your” party – what a liar. “Where is Tress, anyway?”

“Hiding out, I’m sure,” she says, then takes a long swig of beer, arching a brow. “You interested?”

“Huh?” you sputter, glad that you don’t have a drink in hand. “Of course not!”

Tara only hmms before stepping forward and pressing her lips to your ear. Her voice lowers to a sultrier tone that's meant for only you to hear. “Good, I would hate to show you my jealous side. I can be very bad.”

When she pulls away, you swallow hard and thin your lips. “I – uh, just remembered I’m supposed to meet someone!”

You rush off before you can think better of how ridiculous you just acted. Gah. You’re practically a walking side show at this point. Tara is never going to let you live this down.

Unsure of where you should go, given Silas rented out the house for the party, you decide outside is your best bet.

Greeted by a cool breeze the moment you slide open the glass doors, you hesitate when your eyes land on Mersa, who is sitting across from where you’re now standing, at the edge of the pool. Her legs are submerged in the water, and you bite back a gasp when she peers up at you with a dark gaze. Her silver eyes are unblinking, unmoving from your figure as you cross the distance to go and sit beside her.

“I have been waiting for you,” she says, before finally flicking her attention away and onto the onlookers who have gathered around the diving board. You follow her gaze, seeing several people gathered there, seemingly hungry for the demon’s attention. Although, her appearance does not betray what she truly is, instead she wears the appearance of a Fae. With dark brown skin, long silver hair and eyes. The thin, iridescent markings around her neck climb like vines to rest at the bottom of her lip.

“Leave,” she growls, the command tinted with the barest hint of power, brushing close to the darkness she keeps buried within. At once the group scatters like ash to wind, taking off and disappearing into the house, not daring to look back.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you chide, turning your focus back toward her. Her jaw clenches a few times before she meets your eyes.

“I wish to have you alone,” comes the quiet reply. “Was it wrong of me?”

You bite your lip, a thousand different responses wanting to spill out. Instead, you focus on the one that shares not even a glimpse of the affection within your heart. “It’s wrong to freely use your power like that. One day someone might notice…”

Your voice trails off, hinting at the deep implications of how bad that could be.

“Senseless worry,” Mersa says, waving off your words with a taloned hand. “I shall rid the world of any who prove to be a burden.”

You sigh, then glance down at the water. “Do you swim?”

“It’s been known to happen,” a hint of amusement tugs at her lips, something near a smile lights her eyes.

“Silas wanted me to be crazy tonight, so I guess I’ll break out of my comfort zone and go for a swim. That is, if you’ll join me?”

Before you can make a move, Mersa slides into the pool, sinking her slender body into the water like a serpent. When she comes up, her hair is wet and plastered back behind her long, slender ears. Silently, she waits.

You jump into the pool, a lot less elegant and sink to the bottom like a stone before kicking your legs out behind you and swimming upwards. Mersa grasps you along the wrist the moment your face touches the air above. “What is it?” you ask, slightly worried by her sudden closeness.

Mersa deflects the question with a drawn-out silence, one that has you reeling in confusion. And something else… something almost sinful in its desperation.

Then, she releases you as someone laughing steps outside on their phone.

[odyssey-system]

Enchanted: Part of Your World #1

"Can you do me a favor, sweetheart?"

Fiona Seville was on the phone with her father Dave as she sat on the couch in her apartment. Her frizzy hair was a slight mess as she adjusted her legs. "Y-Yeah, of course, Dad."

She could hear him sigh on the other end of the phone, along with a cough. "I was supposed to go to a benefit masquerade ball tomorrow night. The one that I go to every year."

"Right! The one for state arts programs?"

"That's right. Well... I can't make it this year. I ended up with bronchitis and your brothers have to take care of me at home."

Fiona frowned. "I'm sorry, Dad..."

"It's alright. I was just wondering, since you were closer, could you make the donation in my place at the ball?"

She bit her lip. She was not typically a person to deal with large crowds, but for the only parent in her life, she'd take a leap of faith. "O-Okay but if I make the donation for you, can you transfer me replacement money after?"

"Of course, sweetheart. You have my word."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After a few phone calls with her agent, Ethan Blake, Fiona was able to donate money, book a ride and acquire an outfit for the night. She'd spent the past few days looking around for pop culture tidbits she might have missed over the past week or so. She practiced talking to people in the mirror, and she arranged to get out an hour early from work that day.

So now, here she was, sitting in the front seat of a Dryve car in a stunning silver ballgown made by one of Ethan's friends, Addison Sinclair. The driver wasn't much for conversation, preferring to listen to the radio, but she didn't mind.

Eventually, the car pulled up to the designated drop-off point for the masquerade in front of the Sheridan Hotel in downtown Los Angeles, a line of paparazzi along the velvet roped red carpet. Fiona put on her mask and took a deep breath.

Showtime.

Fiona made her way out into the stream of flashing lights, walking toward the start of the red carpet. She only recognized one face in the line of paparazzi: Ana de Luca of Trend Magazine, one of her favorites. She put on her sweetest smile as she heard murmurs about how no one knew who she was, and she prepared for the barrage of questions with a nervous glimmer in her eyes.

Surprisingly, none of them approached her but she was asked to pose for pictures, to which she obliged.

What mattered more to her was getting inside after speaking to both of the hotel's front door bouncers and the bellhop, who helped her find the ballroom in which most of the event was held.

The ballroom was massive, much more extravagant and intimidating than Fiona could have ever imagined. It felt like she was walking around in a fish tank full of people.

It terrified her.

"This place is pretty cool, isn't it?" A young man in his early twenties asked her confidently. "Definitely better than my prom."

Fiona smiled, the conversation alleviating some of her nerves. "Yeah, it's beautiful in here."

"Is this your first time going to this?"

"Yeah."

The man gave an understanding smile. "Me too. I'm Chadley."

"I'm Fiona." She fixed her hair and her mask, shifting her remaining nerves into movement.

Chadley smiled. "Do you want to go get something to drink?"

Fiona nodded back at him. "I'd like that."

The two made their way over to a table with refreshments, Chadley immediately going over to the flutes of champagne. "Bubbly?"

"No thanks." She tried looking for other drinks but only ended up finding water on the table. She grabbed a glass and a reusable straw kit, following Chadley.

"How'd you get an invite to this party? Did you have to pass some initiation or something?"

Fiona laughed. "No. Why, did you?"

"Yeah, kind of! Mr. Groot said that I needed to start sharing my brain cells with my kind and jump into a canyon with no braces for my teeth." He said it with nonchalance, making Fiona recoil a little. His eyes widened. "No no, it's okay! My agent Ethan told me that it was his way of saying I needed to venture out of my comfort zone or something.

She sighed in relief. "This Groot guy might need to find a better way to come across with what he's saying correctly... But at least you have Ethan. He's my agent too."

"Oh sweet! He always has the best suits."

Fiona could think of a few other outstanding qualities about Ethan that would rank higher, but she did have to give Chadley that. "What do you do?"

"I'm a film actor. What about you?"

"Oh! Um..." Fiona's cheeks tinged pink slightly. "I'm a barista but I do have this character acting gig. I do birthday parties and stuff."

"That's cool! Do you like it?"

"Yeah! It's fun to make characters on your own that you can help people with, you know?"

"Hell yeah! So are you working during this party then?"

She shook her head. "No, my dad's a composer. He comes here every year, but he got sick and couldn't make it this time. He wanted me to make a donation this year for him, and I'd do anything for my dad."

"I get you. I'm gonna go talk to more people but-" He took a napkin and wrote down a set of digits. "Here's my cell phone number if you need something. I've gone to some stuff like this, I can help you."

Fiona smiled warmly. "You're so sweet, Chadley! I appreciate this, thank you."

"No worries, Fiona! Hope I see you around." He went off into another portion of the ballroom.

Afte watching him go and making sure he was alright, Fiona went to go sit next to the stage. It was sparsely used at the moment, a few musicians tuning and doing mic checks. She took a few minutes to browse her Pictagram feed idly, pausing on a post by the Wilshere siblings when she noticed something familiar about the backdrop.

"Excuse me." A tall male with shoulder-length hair and a beard said as he approached, gentle and calm with his security badge visible on his belt. "I need you to not block the stairs, ma'am."

Fiona blushed and glanced at the stairs. "Sorry, sir..."

"It's okay. Some of the acts are just ready to sound check."

"Right, of course." She followed him out of the way before spotting a pair of blondes approaching the stage: the Wilshere twins.

Fiona was in awe.

The male of the pair nodded to the security guard. "Thank you, Damien." He turned to Fiona. "Sorry for making you find a new wallflower spot. We just don't want anyone to get hurt, especially a charming young thing like you."

"Arthur! Don't tease the poor girl!" His sister strode over and gave a wide, warm smile. "Sorry about him." She took Fiona's hands. "You seem overwhelmed, love. Are you alright?"

Starstruck but true to Avery's observation, Fiona bit her lip. "I'm not used to navigating parties like this."

"I understand. These things can make a girl feel so small in a world so big, especially for your first time at one of these parties." She squeezes her hands. "There's a few different rooms next to the ballroom being rented out for the ball as well. Those might help you find a smaller group of people around here."

"Avery? Your turn for sound check," her brother called out.

The blonde sighed. "I have to go. But you've got this. I believe in you."

Fiona watched Avery go onto the stage, still anxious but more hopeful than before. She gave both her and Arthur a wave before walking around the ball a bit more.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After half an hour of roaming all of the other rooms, Fiona found herself in one that resembled a casino. It was a bit smaller than the other rooms, which helped her anxiety, but it felt very much like a boys' club in there with the amount of older men. Several men stared at her as she walked in, appraising her like jewelry. Or worse. She did her best to not give them any ideas or pay them any mind.

Unsatisfied playing games with any of the older men, she made her way over to the bar that was for the most part unoccupied. She sat on the other end of the bar, ordering a coffee instead of alcohol because of her need to have a clear head to survive the night.

When her coffee arrived, the waitress also placed a notebook in front of her, a pen tied to the spiral. She opened it cautiously, seeing neat handwriting on the first page.

Are you alright?

Fiona looked up from her spot and noticed the only other patron at the bar: a younger male but still considerably older than her, nursing a glass of scotch in his hand. His eyes met hers, and he smiled genuinely back at her. She pointed to him and then down at the notebook. He nodded in response. She quickly wrote a response after grabbing a pen from her purse:

Yeah. My first time at one of these events. It's a little scary.

She slid the notebook over to him so the waitress didn't have to do it. She watched him write, moving his hand in a gentle and elegant fashion, before he slid it back to her.

I understand. I didn't want to scare you and add to that. Do you want to sit with me?

Fiona took a moment to collect her thoughts before sliding her purse onto her shoulder. She collected the notebook and her coffee, walking over to sit next to him. "Sorry. I-I just figured if my answer was yes, I didn't want to be redundant.

He nodded in reply. "That's alright. I'm Thomas, by the way."

She smiled. "I'm Fiona."

I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself tonight

Thomas crossed his legs, right over left. "So what got you to come out here tonight, Fiona?"

"I-I came for my dad. He normally comes down here but he's sick this year."

"What's your last name?"

"Seville."

The name seemed to click in Thomas's head. "Ah yes, I believe I'm somewhat familiar. Dave's his name, right?"

"Y-Yeah."

"I remember him. We've met in passing before, I believe. The most I know is that he's a composer. Are you in the music industry as well?"

I'll get you out on the floor Shimmering beautiful And when I break, it's in a million pieces

Fiona shook her head. "Not exactly. I'm a barista most days, but I also do children's birthdays and other stuff like that as a costume actor. Sometimes it involves singing, but it's not the bread and butter of what I do."

Thomas smiled. "Impressive. You definitely achieve the Disney princess aesthetic tonight."

She blushed. "Thank you. You look nice too."

Hush, when no one is around, my dear You'll find me on my tallest tip-toes Spinnin' in my highest heels, love Shinin' just for you

The two could hear the bartender turn on the television, and a picture of Thomas without a mask on flashed across the screen as part of a television tabloid, along with his full name.

Mortified, Thomas partly covered his face with his hand.

Fiona looked at him sympathetically, reaching for his empty hand. "Is everything okay?"

Hush, I know they said the end is near But I'm still on my tallest tip-toes Spinnin' in my highest heels, love Shinin' just for you

"I... I have a problem with fangirls sometimes." He held her hand gently. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "D-Don't be." She looked around. "In all fairness, half of the people here look like you because of the masks and everything."

He uncovered his face. "You're not even a little starstruck at me?"

Fiona smiled and shook her head again. "I-I mean, I *do* know who you are now. But... I mostly look at Trend and music industry magazines, so I don't get your exposure a lot."

I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I can change everything About me to fit in

Thomas took another sip of his scotch, contemplating her words. "Well... What is your impression of me, then?"

You are not like the regulars The masquerade revelers Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten

She looked at him thoughtfully. "I-I think you seem like a hard worker. You have ambitions that aren't always in the realm of reality, but you try. And you make every effort to keep your private life and your work separate. You think art is a second life in and of itself."

Thomas sat silent for a moment, stunned. "And how did you manage to decipher all of that?"

Fiona's smile hinted at a hidden laughter. "You don't seem like you've sold your soul to any towel rack of a tabloid, Mr. Hunt."

He knew the game she was playing now. She seemed to warm up to him quickly, something that could hurt them both if they weren't careful.

But the angle she was going for now? Two could play at that game.

Hush, when no one is around, my dear You'll find me on my tallest tip-toes Spinnin' in my highest heels, love Shinin' just for you

"You'd think correctly, Ms. Seville," he said with a regal and teasing side-smirk. "However, seems it's my turn to pick your brain."

Fiona flushed, almost retreating from the teasing as her fingers on one hand started playing with the edges of her frizzy hair. "G-Go ahead."

Thomas was gentle as he shifted on the barstool, taking a full look at her. "You are definitely in touch with your inner child in a way I don't see often around here. Not necessarily the innocence, but you tap into that with your curiosity, your sincerity, your kindness."

Fiona shied away slightly at the very accurate read of her.

He let her have a moment to recover before continuing to speak. "I would love to have more time to figure you out fully, to get to know you, person to person... if you'll have me."

Hush, I know they said the end is near But I'm still on my tallest tip-toes Spinnin' in my highest heels, love Shinin' just for you

She looked up at him with soft silver-blue eyes, searching herself for the answer as she contemplated his request. "O-Okay. Can some of that time be without a crowd...?"

He smiled. "I know just the place." He took her by the hand and led her out to an open balcony, pulling her into a slow dance as the door closed after them when they got outside. He led her, one arm around her waist and the other holding her head protectively to his chest.

And they called off the circus Burn the disco down When they sent home the horses And the rodeo clowns I'm still on that tightrope I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me

She pulled away from the close embrace, moving to hold his hands again. "I-I..."

Thomas smiled, a patient ease to his posture. "Yes, Fiona?"

"Can we have... more than just tonight to know each other?"

He held her cheek. "I would love nothing more."

And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why I've never been a natural All I do is try, try, try I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me

In an instant, her lips tilted to reach his.

And nothing else that night mattered for a weightless, ethereal, eternal moment.

Because I'm a mirrorball I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself tonight