#i'll fix tags and old posts and finalize name changes later

[omgkalyppso]

I posted this before but deleted it both because I was embarrassed and because I was worried I'd severely fucked up Astarion's age for the nth time, originally referenced from This Post. But I've seen many more analyses and I think it's right. I think it is. Anyway!

EDIT: I DID GET HIS AGE WRONG because that is the post I meant to reference. But I'm not fixing it. 232.

I was tagged by @luinen-bluewater to complete this far simpler ship meme: otp, ot3/4.

Here is the template I actually used: ot3. Here's the otp version.

I'll tag a few people to complete any of the templates referenced: Luinen, @the-eldritch-it-gay, @vlwv, @tadpole-apocalypse, @boghermit, @lemonbronze, @littleplasticrat and YOU.

I'll put the above image chopped up below the cut so it's easier viewing for the curious. And I'll ramble a bit more (bg3 spoilers, discussion of vampirism and character deaths).

In my headcanons, Astarion neither remains a spawn nor becomes the Vampire Ascendant, he becomes a vampire, and some hundreds of years later he turns Étoile to a vampire as well (this post / these headcanons need reviewing after the epilogue changes with the Crown, but we'll see).

With this in mind, I was thinking of Halsin being the longest of their lovers and how Étoile could possibly handle his death:

Étoile and Astarion occupied on some adventure / business or other, and when they return, an unaffected or perhaps impatient messenger has come to deliver news of Halsin's death. And it is so long after the others of their relevant, initial, adventuring party has passed (or maybe not. Lae'zel is a wild card (no aging on the astral plane)). Still, i can imagine one of them snapping. I think it's more interesting if it's Étoile, saying aloud that the messenger is mistaken, that surely the message is that Halsin's ill and is calling to see them a final time — Astarion's near shouting in embarrassment and worry, telling the messenger to go, calling Étoile's name, grabbing their arm until Étoile says loudly that they heard them. They heard what they said. And also sends the poor messenger away.

But then I started considering an alternative which I felt was ooc for Halsin from the base game but which I think is more possible / within the scope of his character after the addition of the epilogue. Reminder that Étoile is a paladin of the neutral evil goddess Auril, started bg3 as neutral good but whom I consider neutral evil, and is an Oathbreaker by the end of their adventure:

Halsin at like 820 or older, life expectancy 700-1000, veering wildly between peace with the natural order of things and intense discomfort with things that feel unfinished, the way they always do. And sometime with Étoile leaned against his chest he speaks of Silvanus, the Oakfather, of children and elders in all families of creatures have come and gone, of how his druidic order has changed more slowly than a tree spreads its roots, and how never in all that time did Étoile ask him to abandon his god and his (god's) comfort for the sake of vampirism and eternity. Fondly, expecting Halsin to imagine it an irritation after his speech, Étoile recalls that Astarion did, three hundred or so years ago. Étoile points out that they know the comfort they found in their worship, and they would never have sought to steal that from him (Halsin). To be a vampire is unnatural, lost to his Oakfather. Halsin points out that he has felt that Étoile has wanted to ask before, even if it has always remained unsaid, in the emptiness in their chest (lack of heartbeat), in the slant of their mouth when his (Halsin's) movement is broken with age, in how they've (Étoile has) breathed in his silver hair the more it's overcome him, something that felt respectful once, but now he's past where his end should have been, and the temptation of rekindling old strengths, the hope of another thousand years, through vampirism, shames him (Halsin) greatly. The selfishness of an old mind. Why wouldn't it have felt like a possibility a hundred years ago, two hundred, more? How could he dare to think of continuing a protection of his forest, of caring for his kin, if he lost all connection to them, and even fears what makes them the same in their morality so much that he would dare forsake it. If he was going to lose his faith, why wouldn't he have done so when he was younger and different, except that he was stronger then, in body and in mind. And yet what difference would there be, feasting upon the wild in the woods? And Étoile would be blunt about the differences, and about how there are even laws now, that they helped put in place. "They" could punish them both greatly for this, but the transformation itself would be their shared shame. He could be their first spawn, and perhaps their only, but if he wanted this now — that it was no corruption of age, just a changed heart. And they would happily accept him into their home if all beasts and men turned from him as a decree from his Oakfather -- but he would have to be sure, because the fallout could be immeasurable. Étoile would try to do it permissably, but they would turn Halsin in secret, if need be. And what if "they" were like. fucking no???? and to ensure you don't do this thing we're going to keep you sealed, either in an area or in a fucking coffin until your druid has passed. (Astarion would lose his fucking mind.)

Abbreviated:

Halsin: what if i've lived long enough to see myself become the villain. Étoile: well my ship has sailed, and you know, if i meet you in hell then it's not hell

I think though that Halsin's village would have warm, clean shelters under the ground, just below the surface as if to shelter from storms, but well-used and familiar to vampires after years of shared knowledge and resources. They'd be glad to claim him.

OH! And Étoile's birthday is Oct 20th (their date of creation during early access was Oct 20 2020), I gave Astarion Sept 22nd (first day of autumn), and Halsin May 13th (he seems like a Taurus and I figured he'd be worn and irksome about having a birthday that often falls on a day associated with bad luck (Friday the 13th)).

[greetings-humans]

introductory post (includes some interaction boundaries, more details on me (ao3 acc, etc) & a dni under the cut)

yeah it's about time I made one of those ig (disclaimer: I'll edit this, if/when the need comes)

hello there! im deelay! you can call me dee, if you want! [btw if you know my irl name, not here you don't unless we're DM-ing]

gender is so weird tbh but please use they/she for me!

for details on what to use when talking to me or about me (like pronouns and gendered terms etc) you can go here

-im a young adult and that's like all imma say age-wise. however please take that into account when interacting with my blog! some of the reblogs/posts here might not be what I'd have been okay with seeing when I was like under 14 or something. so yknow. exercise some modicum of caution please.

-currently in uni, studying to get an english degree (every new thing I learn about teaching makes me want to yell at some of the teachers I've known/had, did they even study in uni? did they even keep in touch with pedagogical studies?? definitely not, form what I can tell)

-I'm technically a writer? like I write,,, supposedly lmao. like all the greats, the one thing I never seem to do is yknow write-

I write sometimes, let's say. and I'm also really interested in writing my own crime fiction novel one day. but that's for some day in the future lmao

-definitely a reader tho (yes ao3 and i are in a committed relationship)

-im also very very aroace, so like, blanket disclaimer, even if you might think I'm thirsting over a character, im really not and it makes me uncomfortable when others think so (and tell me that) so yeah lol

~

my interests and fandoms are. a lot. for example (and in no particular order):

the magnus archives: my first podcast! as of September 2024 I've started s4 and all I want is to relisten to really see how much everyone has changed in the span of 4 seasons🥺🥺 mind your spoilers, I don't always tag! and if you're in s1 frankly just persevere until halfway through s1 or s2 at least before interacting, there's a lot of spoilers for the setting going around because the actual explanation doesn't come until quite later even if u kinda figure some things out on your own

merlin (bbc): i was watchin s2 in August 2024! i finally decided to pick this up again and properly watch it! esp since i really wanna read The Once and Future Kings by tjmcharg & And like the cycle of the year, we begin again by katherynefromphilly and i can't do that if i watched the show lmao

DC (the bats, mostly)

windbreaker (satoru nii): im constantly reading the new manga chapters as they come out so beware spoilers! the anime is really cool too<33 talk to me about my children (sakura, tsubakino, umemiya, kaji, hiragi, suo) and all of the other children ofc anytime!

riordanverse (pjo, hoo, magnus chase, a little bit toa, pjo show [which was def better than the movies but needs more screen time to fix up the pacing and add more depth in the appropriate moments])

fullmetal alchemist brotherhood! (i used to have roy on my pfp, he's my favorite character! i also wanna write a huge character analysis essay on him but uni responsibilities mean that's very slow going). im collecting the hardcover editions of the manga slowly, and i plan on reading the manga properly as i buy them!

star wars (prequels, kotor, clone wars)

criminal minds: (im at early s14 as of July 2024, so mind your spoilers humans) (obsession gone dormant, watch me not think about cm for months at an end until like exam season or something)

jujutsu kaisen: lowkey refuse to finish s2 but I know what's happening by the end of it and I've given up on the storyline so spoil away, I'll just ignore you and live my life in my fanfic sandbox :)

yuri on ice is an old love of mine (ice adolescence😭😭 one day😭😭 oh one day😭😭 so that was a fucking joke, mappa count your days and also im stealing viktor you can't have him, im gonna write iceado WITHOUT YOU) (fuck you mappa, I urge all creative yoi fans that think they wanna try doing their own version of iceado to go ahead and give it a go!)

haikyuu!!: I'm all caught up, manga and anime-wise! also patiently waiting for the last (😭) movie that should've been a season but anyways they better not fuck this up too much- (update: battle of the garbage dumpster was wonderful even if they couldn't animate everything... it was just so short. I really hope someone decides to adapt it into a proper season at some point)

bungo stray dogs is also an old but semi-revived interest of mine (im pretty much up to date with the manga, just haven't read the light novels)

tian guan ci fu / heaven official's blessing (as of June 2024, I've finished s2 and tgcf is amazing it's wonderful, I've started book 1 and am currently procrastinating on reading it)

there's like. so much more

sooo muuuuch moooreeee

so I'll just let you figure the rest of it out

If you wanna see some of my thoughts without infinite scrolling, you can also search for the tag "deelay words".

Another tag of mine is "deelay's tbr" (which stands for "to be referenced") which you'll find at posts that really make me Think™ and that I want to keep in mind when I do anything creative with the characters involved.

When interacting with my blog, if you want to avoid spoilers at all costs, I suggest blocking the fandom tag because what you consider spoilers might not be what I consider spoilers if we're at different arcs of whatever that media is.

That said, I'd also appreciate it if you gave me a heads up on spoilers in any asks.

~

if you're here for any of my fics then well.

if you're here for pjo, um. those fics are truly discontinued/on indefinite hiatus. that hasn't changed. I watched the show and I'm actually reading pjo fics again from time to time so if I get inspired enough and manage to plan out a decent fic out of Percy Jackson Revealed,,,, then maybe there shall be a fic. But!!! I have no idea what the ending is gonna be, and without an ending I'm doing nothing because the chances of me dropping the fic (again) would be higher than my anxiety during exam season (aka very very high)

if you're here for the man behind neal caffrey tho!! hi, there. I am working on that sequel, don't worry. it's just long (im at like 7k or so iirc? and im not even halfway through yet) and I'm also working on uni and this other writing project I have going on. feel free to send me an ask with any questions or comments or whatever. august 2024 update: this project is very slow going tbh! i think i need to recalibrate some of my plans because it's so tiring to keep writing some of the stuff I've planned for. white collar crime cases are more tedious than expected. im also like on and off working on a double homicide case fic for criminal minds (that I think I'll rework to become an original thing) and it's coming out much more easily😭

unnamed grishaverse project: yeah so, I have a project going with my friend noel @fifteenth-entity, we're fixing the darkling! this fic will take place like around 50-100 years pre-alina, and will feature the darkling doing darkling things while that generation's most prominent grisha (aka a bunch of queers) also do things that may or may not affect the darkling. and his views. and personality. there may or may not be character development in the works. (there is, he gets better). this fic is canon divergent before canon even happens. the entire plot of shadow and bone will be eventually reworked. (also, no darklina, no darkling romance, in general, this boy needs to get mentally healthy first and foremost and I'm also writing him as aroace sooo) [for more info on this just search "unnamed grishaverse project", it's the tag I've used in like the only post about this. do feel free to send me an ask about this tho!!]

ice adolescence-esque fic: mappa fucked up majorly with canceling iceado and im supremely annoyed, mad, and upset. it just so happens that I was in the middle of my yoi renaissance era when the news came out so with my obsession going strong, I really wanted to try doing something with iceado. this is not going to be a very linear story, im going around and about in different points in time. the first narrative follows viktor at 17ish deciding to try to ratify the quad flip and it includes some insight on his friends and family (who are OCs, im not sorry, his backstory is so barren, i had to!) and on how he ended up so alone by the time yoi was happening. the second narrative is post-yoi viktor coming back to russia ft yuuri, yuri & yakov. this is not a russian gov-positive fic. russian culture is very interesting and some russians are wonderful people —diversity is a thing, after all— but to be perfectly clear, fuck the russian government and everyone supporting their actions. what they're doing is inhumane. [posts about this project will be tagged as "dee's iceado"! ]

~

Another thing: If you have a genuine, not malicious or mean-spirited, question, feel free to send me an ask. Keep it chill, though! if you try to pick a fight i will delete the ask for the first time, but on strike 2, you're blocked.

i like to think that I'm open to discourse on some topics but not if you're starting out all aggressively cause if you're aggressive, I will be defensive (while privately having a panic attack) and we're not gonna get anywhere. Not that I can't get aggressive sometimes when I'm annoyed/offended or sth, like I'm not perfect but this is a general rule of a thumb yknow. Try not to be aggressive. or prepare for an aggressive conversation if you are.

so. once again for the people in the back

If you're here to pick a fight with me then gtfo please.

I don't like fighting, it makes me anxious, so save us both the trouble and be as civil as you can be if you have a disagreement with me. don't forget to check my dni tho. I'm not gonna sit around having basic arguments about my rights to queerness as an aroace person or some stupid shit like that.

that said, unless I'm literally at your post saying shit you disagree with. don't come at me. literally block me. it's fine. I quite literally do not mind or care. like, if you saw my post or reblog and decided I suck then just block me will you?

~

Moreover, if you ever want fic recs for a fandom I'm in, you're definitely welcome to send me an ask! but if you don't feel like talking, anything I will ever tell you is straight from my ao3 bookmarks. sooo, feel free to hunt around those! [in case the link isn't working for you, my ao3 username is Justice_not_Revenge]

ao3 disclaimer: anything before 2021 is not necessarily something I claim. So like don't think I'm into this thing or that I'm passionate about this ship just because in 2019 I bookmarked 100 fics with it, people tend to grow and change so yeah.

some generic DNIs

if you're anti-lgbtq+ in any way (cmon im queer myself this one should be obvious)

if you support AI art or AIs stealing fic content (if you're the type to use other people's OCs in character.ai with no permission, then like go away and don't you dare touch my OCs without talking to me and getting my explicit permission first)

racists, ableists, sexists/misogynists, incest shippers, pro-shippers, etc

literally anyone who thinks violating someone's concent is nice and fun and quirky

okay that's all! thank youuu-

[hinterland-clans]

did some doodles of riftclan cats last night and colored them today... i really like these. also used them to test some redesigns a little bit, i especially like pikapelt's (also i'm renaming her to cavernpool)