#i'll do the starters i owe next week i promise

[noblehcart]

PSA: Mini hiatus for the week. Things going down IRL with the fam and I don't forsee writing happening any time soon with all the emotional drama that is going to be occuring.

[aroyaltailor]

semi-hiatus (vent warning)

Currently failing Spanish 102 and things are not getting better. In a move that I'm sure will surprise none of those who follow this blog, I am going to be taking a hiatus from any writing. Yes, another break! Another hiatus, putting off work on this blog and leaving the replies I owe to rot in my drafts. The words simply do not come out of me, and I'm still struggling with perfectionism that blocks any genuine attempts at getting anything done. I basically have to learn the entirety of Spanish, or at least the relevant information for the class, because if I fail I won't be able to graduate this semester.

It's the same damn thing every time. I've submitted a request for the counseling service provided by my college, but they have a two week waiting period due to the huge influx of students needing mental health help these days. I genuinely believe that I've reached a point where I need professional help with my writing, and that I have somekind of OCD that prevents me from simply writing the first draft without needlessly fussing over every word.

I really didn't want to have to make this post. I was holding on to the hope that things would be alright. I was hoping that everything would be okay. That I'd be able to create legitimate routines, learn how to comprehend Spanish, and that I would be able to have the time to sit back and focus and work on building this blog.

The first exam of the class is next Tuesday, September 10th. I won't lie, I'm basically spiraling at this point. Self-care is at a total minimum, and I haven't really been taking care of my health either. I'm not eating much, both out of lack of hunger and the simple fact that my household doesn't have any food available. Today alone, I've been slouched over the table in the upstairs study rooms of my college, staring at this damned screen all day. Suicidal thoughts, a bit of self-harm with a pen, it feels just as bad as organic chemistry. And the genuine possibility that I might be kicked out the house if I fail Spanish 102 isn't helping matters. I don't really have anyone to talk to either, not in-person at least. Not really even online either, but that's probably too jaded for me to say. Doubt anyone will even read this, but that understandable I guess. Everyone has their own problems, so many people do, and they can't pause and stop when they have their own concerns to deal with, especially for someone that hasn't really produced anything.

Let's just say it isn't getting better. It's not. It's getting worse. I can't be on here as much as I want to, and I'm beginning to think that I've been damaged permanently by what happened to me. My dad had lung cancer, I did everything I could, but that's all I can say about it. Even just typing that sentence has me bawling now.

I'll either pass Spanish 102 this semester or I won't. If I don't, I definitely won't take it well. I'm sorry for everything I've said about how I'd made progress, or that I'd be around to do replies only to post nothing at all. I'm not doing well and haven't been for awhile.

Hopefully things will get better. But then again, I've said that before haven't I? Time will tell. I'm sorry to everyone for the times I've wasted their time with starters or replies I haven't responded to yet. Blog isn't even finished yet, but if I pass I'll try. I promise I'll try.

[countlessrealities]

I've thought about it and I've decided to take next week (starting from Monday 2nd) off from posting replies. I only have a couple already written and I know I won't be able to get more done and queued during the week, so I'd rather take a break, so I can catch up properly.

I apologise for the people who have been waiting on me (even if I'm sure that I've gotten all the replies that date back to July, so all the ones I owe are from this month) and I promise that I'll do my best to get the replies done chronologically, so I can queue them in order starting from next week.

As for this week, I'll focus on queueing said replies and I'll answer the asks I have in my inbox, reply to the two non-queued and write the starter I owe. Also, I'll focus on answering DMs here and on Discord, so I can properly plot stuff with the folks who are waiting on me!

I thank you all in advance for your patience! If there's a thread you've been waiting on and you're no longer feeling, please let me know! So I won't answer it and scrap it, and so I can reach out to you for new interactions.

~ Scotty out !

[more-than-a-princess]

Just popping in to announce that I'm on a hiatus for vacation/DragonCon (if it isn't clear already from the lack of posts over here)! Work, birthday, and con prep have eaten up all of my time and that's likely not going to change anytime soon.

@dcviated, @phantasmalnightmare, and @91cmspoilers: I know I owe the three of you replies. Those will be the first things I get to when I get back (unless I have a little time on Wednesday to write and queue some things for when I'm gone). Otherwise, I'll start working on replies next week and hopefully have replies going out before the end of next week. After these three replies are done, I'll get to whatever's next in my reply list and/or plotted starters, if applicable (on my end to start or reply to your starter).

I usually have more time to get to everything before con, but this year just isn't working out due to extra work obligations (and the 9 costumes that need final touches/ironing/pressing/packing, alongside all of their accessories/wigs/makeup).

For those curious, here's my lineup (under the cut!):

This con is devoted to all things pop culture, so I try to bring minimal anime and video game costumes for this reason: they're worn so often to other events! But I promised friends I'd join them for some One Piece shenanigans one evening, so that's that.

First column, top down: Evelyn (The Mummy), Elain Archeron (A Court of Thorns and Roses), Nadja of Antipaxos (What We Do in the Shadows)

Second column, top down: Trixie (Call the Midwife), Penelope Featherington (Bridgerton), Bertha Russell (The Gilded Age)

Third Column, top down: Nico Robin (One Piece), Lysandra (Throne of Glass), Nesta Archeron (A Court of Thorns and Roses).

[clochanamarc]

tiny update on things below the cut, tw for mental health, panic attacks, stress

so i've been having panic attacks pretty regularly this past month. largely to do with the fact that i'm about to find out if i have nine weeks to send away a 6000 word PhD application proposal, teach online for a month, get what i need, spend time with my family, pack my bags, and finish off two courses. and like. i try to keep positive but lbr, trying to smile when things are so loud and hectic is a very exhausting thing and i'm not falling back into that shitty habit. so i'm gonna accept that i'll be immensely stressed for the next two months, and i'm gonna ask for ye to understand that i'm not ignoring anyone!! i know i owe dms and replies and starters and memes! i also know, however, that this insane mountain of shit in my real life is taking priority until i have a handle on it.

tomorrow will bring more answers, though. i have a meeting with my new boss, and i hope that she'll tell me more details so i can prepare myself better. i also finish up with my current contract tomorrow, but i have another four days next week in another place. i'm gonna try to sort things out, but i gotta tell you, i'm stressed and scared and panicked a lot lately, and tumblr is the one place i have to escape from that, so just. idk. bear with me. i promise i'm trying my best. i love you all x