#i'd mix every character and believe they're a part of show a when they're actually in show b

[kaythefloppa]

How would you rewrite The Lion Guard?

Ooh, good question.

Will pre-face this by saying that I enjoy The Lion Guard and am far more forgiving towards it than others (primarily because I was in the show's target demographic when it came out nearly 10 years ago, so I had a closer attachment to/attraction towards it than, people who were old enough to see the original film drop in theaters). That being said, it has a lot of flaws, some commonly pointed out by the fandom, others not so much (and around 70% of them stem around the finale, which.. we'll get to). So here are some major things I'd rewrite about the show itself (not like, every individual episode because that would be hell lmao)

Word vomit ahead because I have too many opinions on this children's show.

Season 1:

I'd definitely include more of Nala in the pilot episode, maybe showing her personal thoughts on the matter, perhaps even teaching Kion how to fight, or a throwaway line implying that. Also, I would definitely provide explanation on how Scar got away with killing his Lion Guard, and on why Kiara became so obsessed with becoming Queen. Additionally, I'd show some background lions (i.e. non-characters because we can't let them overshadow the mains), just so that we can actually buy Simba's point on there being other lions for the guard (but like, at the end of the day, we know Kion's team will prove themselves/be better). And lastly, I'd fix the climax to where Simba would try to rescue Kiara and then somehow get injured/stuck, so the Guard would have to save both of them from the stampede. I think those main things left a bad impression towards fans outside of the target demo, even as they got better on so, I think re-tooling them a bit would save a lot of that dissonance.

This was something I really wanted to see in the show as a kid; Episodes where the main characters meet "good" animals in the same species as their villains. Jasiri's introductory episode made me think they were going to have this as a recurring theme, where each member of the guard meets an animal who they initially judge for being the same species as their counterpart villain, only to realize that they're pretty great. For example, Beshte meeting a friendly crocodile (this was before S2) Bunga protecting a cobra (or alternatively, rescuing Ushari from the hyenas), Fuli meeting a jackal that's actually honest, or Ono even working together with a friendly vulture (that part specifically I fixated on, because I had this whole story in my head about the unnamed 'third vulture' in Mzingo's flock who goes through this whole character redemption arc, but I digress). This I believe would've fixed the issue that some people had about the portrayal of predatory animals in the series. Because yeah, on a Watsonian level, these villains are in every way amoral, the Lion Guard stops them from over-hunting, not hunting in general. On a Doylist level, the ratio of evil predators to good predators is way imbalanced, and I think this approach that 9 year old me thought this show would go, would've been a huge-lifesaver for the series in that department.

The Kupatana Celebration: The jackals would attempt to steal from the Pride Landers whilst they're all distracted, leading up to the Pride Landers fighting them. I'd also change some dialouge so that Kion and the Guard wouldn't come across as though they are right for hating jackals, and so that Janja wouldn't be proven right in his attempted murder of a child by the narrative.

The Trouble with Galagoes: Makucha and Mapigano would be streamlined into one character. Not only would it save a lot of time, money, and budget just using one model, but it would show the true menace Makucha is, because he was badly nerfed in the show when he became the new Big Bad.

Lions of the Outlands: I have so many mixed opinions on this episode. On one hand, the moral is actually pretty great, a perfect mirror to Never Judge a Hyena By Its Spots. And on that note, we see more of Jasiri and her clan. On the other hand, the Outsiders are in it, for no other reason than to both tie into TLK 2, and build up to the finale, (and they fail entirely on those two merits). The one thing I'd change is make it a two-parter in the middle of the season. The first part would explain the mystery behind the Outsiders, maybe even filling in some of the legit plot-holes the second movie had with them. The second part would be where the real action and conflict begins, with Kion choosing the hyenas over lions and blasting them away to the termite mounds (and I'd easily cut the "Our New Home" to "Our Old Home.)" Vitani would also have more of a presence in this episode, mainly so that it'll be less jarring when we see her again as the successor to the main cast.

And on another note, I would have Janja team up with Kion and Jasiri against Zira as a temporary alliance. It would just seem like an interesting idea. The point of the episode is Kion's views being turned on their head as he realizes that the lions he's meeting aren't as open-minded or kind as him. Having him come to the defense of his most hated rival, even temporarily, would've added to that juxtaposition, and maybe foreshadow his redemption.

I'd definitely rewrite Bunga to make his personality better. Don't get me wrong, it does get better in the show, but in early S1, they try too hard to recapture the magic of Timon and Pumbaa's comedy from the original. It'd be much better to allow him to serve as a comic relief on his own scale to allow a better first impression of him as one of the main characters.

Allow an introduction episode for Ushari. For someone who is supposed to be the hidden secondary antagonist of the series, he gets no introduction episode, and no revelance beyond just cameos and running gags; So unlike Makuu, you don't resonate with him enough to accept him as a key player later on down the line. There was an episode plotline involving a cobra harassing some songbirds that was never greenlit because it was inaccurate t o cobra behavior, but I think Artistic License aside, it would've made okay groundwork for Ushari to appear.

More non-lion characters. In a show where the overall message is "different animals can do just as well as, if not better than lions," and featuring the different animals that contribute to the Circle of Life, they did pretty well, but I would've loved them do more. Episodes with painted dogs, and the values of communication. Episodes with caracal cats where the heroes learn not to underestimate, episodes with that one African Rock Python that encourages boundaries, episodes with secratarybirds where you can stomp the shit out of grumpy bastards who want to kill children. Cool shit.

I'd tone down Kion's roar a lot. I don't mind it in a fantasy setting, but I think a lot of tension, conflicts, and character arcs are undermined by it. I would've preferred it if we had episodes in Season 1 where Kion slowly learns how to use the Roar's powers, akin to Elena of Avalor's Scepter of Light/Night story arcs. Tie that in with him speaking with Mufasa. The more he controls the power of the spirits, the more he is able to speak to them. In the meantime, I'd allow some villains' defeats to be accreddited to the characters themselves, for example, Cheezi and Chungu defeat Nne and Tano themselves, Anga, Ono, and Hadithi being able to chase off the vultures, or Hodari and Makuu both working together to drive off Kiburi.

I'd change the episode arrangement. Mainly to allow future seasons to actually start with the episodes that begin their respective seasons' arcs. The first 5 episodes of Season 2 would be placed near the end of Season 1 to establish a mini-arc about the dry season coming up soon, with the last of these 5 episodes being the Savannah Summit, showing Makuu's redemption and signifying that there's gonna be a change in tune. Then we'd get Trail to Udugu as the Season 1 finale, which would wrap up Kion and Kiara's sibling rivalry from the pilot and show Simba firsthand how well Kion's team is structured through its diversity. It would register as a perfect season finale without there being a heavy ongoing arc for it to cap off.

Season 2

The Rise of Scar would serve as the Season 2 premiere (which it originally was supposed to be, until it was pushed up 5 episodes). And while kicks off the best portion of the show, (S2) it does ultimately also cap itself off in the worst portion of the show (S3), so some stuff I would change:

Ushari's heel-face-turn. It sucks. Even ignoring the messy implications of having the only snake character become a generic bad guy because "evil venomous snake," it's bad character writing. Not only do we have no proper introduction to his character, not only was his prior relevance relegated to background appearances, but his motivation is extremely hollow, so much so that it's forgotten entirely by the time the episode is over and replaced with a new one (that also comes up out of nowhere and has fuck all to do with anything). More than once in future episodes is it implied that Ushari wants reptiles to rule the Pride Lands, and honestly, I think that would've/should've been his motivation for his betrayal. Maybe he sees how other reptiles struggle during the dry season and the Lion Guard is so pre-occupied with the other animals and disasters that he winds up feeling neglected and angry. This is what turns him to villainy.

I would have Mzingo in on the Scar ressurection plotline. One beef I have with S2 is that Mzingo, who was the duel antaognist of the pilot, gets sidelined entirely. Ushari essentially replaces him as the hyenas' spy, with several scenes clearly resembling that of the pilot (right down to the song, which is essentially diet Tonight we Strike). It wouldn't have done much to add Mzingo in, but it would've made sense, and allow for interesting interactions between Ushari and Mzingo.

Instead of Janja, it's Ushari who causes Kion to roar by revealing his betrayal and threatening his family. This does water down Janja a bit, but again, with the idea that he'll be redeemed in due time, you have to put some limit on how far his villainous actions go.

Rescue in the Outlands. Good. God. On its own, it's perfectly fine, but Season 3 manages to make it retroactively worse. If they wanted to give hints that Janja was redeemable, redeem him at all, and imply a ship-tease between him and Jasiri, they should've dialed back some of the shit he does to allow him come across as less iredeemable. The writers didn't have to have him try to incinerate Jasiri and the cubs, and they didn't have to have him openly mock them as they're about to explode, but because they did, it shoots his rushed redemption arc right in the bloody foot. The episode would've worked fine with some workaround.

The workaround I would have for that? Well, I would have it be where Janja chases Jasiri's clan out of the Outlands so they're forced to hide in the Pride Lands until the Lion Guard helps them take it back. We'd see that Janja is content with Jasiri making it out alive under the assumption that she wouldn't come back. Still technically evil, but not anything way over the line. This would also allow Simba and Nala to be introduced to Jasiri, overcoming their own prejudice and bias about hyenas like Kion did, which would make for a far more entertaining subplot than... ugh... Thurston. And in the end, Simba and Nala help Jasiri and the Lion Guard flush out Janja.

The Bite of Kenge: I would include Makuu, just for the awesome factor, and the biology reference: Because crocodiles and monitor lizards are mortal enemies due to how the latter preys on the hatchlings of the former. Makuu absolutely rocking Kenge's shit would be so awesome. And also we'd get Makini and Makuu sharing dialouge (which I swear to god, does not happen at all in the show, FUCK!)

The first half of Season 2 would have Ushari as a red-herring, with several attacks from Outlanders accreddited to him. It isn't until the midseason finale where the Guard discovers that Scar is alive and realizes that he's the real threat they need to take out.

Speaking of the midseason, I would cut out Sumu entirely. He's a cool character and all, but I find it hilarious how not once does Scar consider sending Ushari, a cobra, in to bite the enemy team. Especially since the species of scorpion that Sumu is happens to be non-lethal (whoops!). Anyways, I'd have it be where Ushari takes Sumu's role of poisoning the king, biting him on the tail. This would invoke fear into the other Pride Landers, who deem him to be the big threat to the Pride Lands (i.e. red herring). Ushari's betrayal would be a secondary conflict in the episode, as they still struggle with the idea that one of their own could turn on their home. Ultimately, Scar's return is revealed, and that Ushari's betrayal was in the means of bringing forward a worse threat to the Pride Lands, which sets the tone for the remainder of the season.

Speaking of which, I would keep Kenge in. According to the writers, he left the army off-screen to avoid getting blasted by Kion's Roar, which to me, seems like a clever way of saying "We couldn't get the royalties to re-hire our Game of Thrones guest-star onto our preschooler show as a series regular." But like, I think having him stay on the army would just add more man-power, because why introduce him if he's not gonna play a role in the final battle.

An episode where Scar attempts to contact Zira to be in his army, but the Guard thwards him. Again, just a minor change. Also, once again, we'd see Vitani, possibly her facing off against Kion, to further the idea that she strongly rivals Kion in ferocity, which sets up the finale in a more natural light.

The Hyena Resistance would show both Kion and Jasiri rescuing Janja. That way, his redemption would come across as less of him crushing on Jasiri and more of him having his worldview legitmately changed. Additionally, we would have Kion or Jasiri mention the true cause of Scar's death to Janja, who would deny it at first, listing it as lies.

Pride Landers Unite and Fire From the Sky are meshed into one plotline, so Anga is introduced earlier on. I find it stupid that even though Mzingo is clearly on Scar's side, they don't at all consider him a suspect for the fire sticks. Plus having all of the Outlanders face off against the Pride Landers would be more thematic this way. Additionally, I'd have more members on the team, such as Big Baboon, Thurston, and even some of the giraffes.

Much like with S1, I would change the episode ordering around a lot, mainly because I think some events and interactions do not make sense when viewed by airing order. For example, the Hyena Resistance builds up to the idea that Janja would redeem himself, and the skinks also report Janja's hesitation to Scar, but that apparently means nothing when Janja is working with Scar two episodes after this one. And I feel like Kion gathering forces to help him defeat Scar would be the inciting incident for the end of the final battle.

The order I would arrange S2b in: The Scorpion's Sting -> The Wisdom of Kongwe -> The Kilio Valley Fire -> Undercover Kinyonga -> The Zebra Mastermind -> The Underground Adventure -> Beshte and the Beast -> The Queen's Visit -> The Hyena Resistance -> Pride Landers Unite/Fire From the Sky -> Cave of Secrets -> The Fall of Mizimu Grove

The Fall of Mizimu Grove would serve as the Season 2 finale (as it serves as a climax of the ongoing conflict, but not in a way that ends it). We'd show Jasiri and her clan, Ushari and his skinks, as well as Anga and the birds taking part in the battle before Scar himself is revealed. Otherwise, the episode is mainly unchanged, and once again, the finale of the second season.

Season 3:

I posted a rewrite of S3 onto the Lion King subreddit, but in the context of a rewrite of the grand series, things go differently.

Battle for the Pride Lands would be expanded into a 6-episode story arc, in which the older characters make their final stand in the fight against Scar. I take issue with the fact that for years, they built up Scar as a force to be wreckoned with, dragged the arc into S3, only to end it entirely there. I've entertained the idea of the special being the finale to S2, but I think this approach also works, just to allow the audience to get settled in with the new 'norm' just as a way to fix some of the pacing and writing issues I found in what was otherwise, the best episode of the series.

In this 6-episode story arc, I would allow a redemption arc for Janja in the premiere episode, so that he could have more time to atone for his mistakes. Janja would redeem himself in the premiere after realizing the truth behind Scar's death and that Jasiri and Kion were telling the truth. Janja would immediately leave Scar's army and encounter Jasiri. "A New Way to Go" would be a duet between them. Eventually, let's say Scar traps Janja's clan and Kion's Guard in the lair, and as they're all swimming away, Kion gets stuck and Janja is able to rescue him from drowning. This allows a heart-to-heart between them which also extends to the rest of his clan, Jasiri's clan, and even some of the Pride Landers. The episode ends with Janja joining forces with the Pride Lands, giving them the info they need to beat Scar once and for all.

In the second episode of this arc, we focus on the Outlanders, specifically their reaction to having almost killed Janja. One other beef I have with the special is how the Outlanders besides Janja are all given a backseat, and are eventually just hand-woven redemptions and written off entirely. So my rewrite allows more character development at the end of their story arc. We'd see scenes with Mzingo, him feeling regretful over having almost killed his partner (either accidentally or purposefully). And we'd focus on Dogo and his siblings, who took a backseat in S2, but would now be older. We'd see what Dogo was up to in S2, maybe watching in fear as his parents and siblings would get into more dangerous situations. He'd be old enough to fight, but he's completely burnt out and disillusioned. Essentially we'd see him get the redemption arc he was robbed of. The episode would end with him leaving, and Kijana staying (to show the idea that some people can change, but others can't). The episode ends with Scar threatening the remainder of his army with death if they turned against him, which is what gets them to join his team, but internally, they know that Janja was right for turning on them. Meanwhile, Ushari is still as evil as ever.

Episode 3 of this arc would focus on Kion enlisting help from the other kingdoms; The Theluji Mountains and the Backlands, in order for the impending battle ahead. This would allow some old characters like Sokwe, the Gorilla Princes, Dhahabu, and Badilli to return, and we'd learn more about their history and origins. Meanwhile, we see Scar recruit Makucha on his army to replace Janja.

Episode 4 of this arc would follow through on the redemption arcs. Specifically involving a moral in which not everyone will forgive you, but that shouldn't stop you from trying to be a better person. I think this episode would involve Janja and Dogo helping Ma Tembo and the elephants and hippos take back Kilio Valley and Big Springs, which puts a huge dent in Scar's plans. Perhaps Zito and Johari are those who choose not to forgive Janja and Dogo, but Ma Tembo and Basi do. Plus Janja and Dogo would make a really funny duo.

Episode 5 delves into Scar's past. I think the biggest problem with the backstory in the show is that it is entirely tacked on and is only there for plot contrivance. An entire episode would've been more serviceable, especially with the direction they were headed with. I'd change the backstory entirely. Here, I'd have it be where a rouge lion clawed Scar, and then having the cobra spit at him before he roars them away. He is hailed as a hero throughout the Pride Lands, feeding into his ego until it becomes too big for him, so he plots to overthrow Mufasa. When they refuse, he teams up with the hyenas to get rid of them. He lures them into the Outlands where he roars at them, and the hyenas hide what's left. The hyena clan take the fall, and Scar is left off the hook, but powerless. This is what Scar decides to use as inspiration to defeat Kion once and for all. Meanwhile, Kion and the Lion Guard search through the paintings of Scar's past and see what the audience sees in the flashbacks. At the end, they discover a cave painting of Askari putting out a fire at the Tree of Life, which re-inforces their belief that the Roar can and will stop Scar.

Episode 6 is the big special that caps everything off. The Lion Guard take their battle with Scar into the Outlands. A large majority of the battle portion of the original special would take up this episode. We'd see everyone join in, including Kinyonga, Badilli, the baboons and zebras, we'd see Ushari, Kenge, and the skinks facing off against the reptiles, Simba and his lionesses fighting jackals, Timon and Pumbaa causing mayhem, it's this whole big fucking thing. Eventually the Lion Guard is able to defeat them, but Ushari and Makucha double back. Ushari bites Kion, but it's established that it's only a small dosage of venom that will affect his mind, then Makucha scratches him, giving him a scar.

The big thing I'd change here is that I'd actually have Kion roar at the volcano to make it erupt. Jasiri and Kiara help lead the Pridelanders and Outlanders away from the lava flow. This would allow a set-up for Jasiri eventually ruling the Outlanders, and establish future events of the second movie where Kiara is willing to unite opposing sides in order for a brighter future for all. Meanwhile, the Lion Guard find themselves trapped as the lava surrounds them. Scar taunts them in their final hour, but that is when Kion decides that instead of destroying his enemies for injuring him, he offers them forgiveness, using the Roar to summon the Lions of the Past to destroy Scar. Makucha runs off in anger, and we get the same moment of Ushari's death, which would give off the idea that whilst offering forgiveness is good, some people are too far gone.

I'd make the Mark of Evil more well-defined by stating that Kion will lose control of the Roar and act out more with the small amount of venom within him. Not the whole "you will forget the difference between right and wrong" bullshit. The journey to the Tree of Life begins.

I'd rewrite the villains: A lot. This post did a far better rewrite of the S3 villains than I ever could, especially keeping in the theme of each villain being a 'counterpart' of the main heroes, so I'll link ya there. But yeah, I would allow Makucha to remain the intense threat he is, and give the villains' squad more numbers. I'd also probably switch out Chuluun and Varya's species. A tiger would be absolutely terrifying as a villain, and Varya and her cubs being attacked would be a lot less stupid if she were a smaller cat. I'd also have Mama Binturong be paired against Ono, as they are both the "brains" of their respective teams. Maybe Ono is able to use his knowledge on porcupines/binturongs to guide Bunga over to the Tuliza stash, and Mama Binturong targets him. I would also objectively have Mpishi in the army, she was robbed of a re-appearance.

I'd probably change the animation and voice-direction on Azaad to look younger, because he strikes as way too old for Fuli. And I'd probably keep their dynamic platonic.

Friends to the End is rehauled entirely. The episode assassinated Bunga's character development, and was low-stakes overall in ways that just do the main characters a disservice. Have him actually be worried as to what would happen to Kion, have his friends disagree with him thinking he's wrong. Have Bunga be the one to challenge Kion when he mouths off at Beshte, and have the titular song actually be sung to Kion.

Change the Night Pride. The Tree of Life is meant to be a congregation of biodiversity, so it would only make sense that its protectors be a mixed group of animals and not just more bland-looking lions (Asiatic lion portrayal is appreciated, but I think this was the wrong way to go at it). Once again, saw someone else do a far better rewrite of this, with the royal family as tigers, and with Nirmala and Surak as a dhole and buffalo, respectively.

I'd change Rani's character. A LOT. I think part of the reason why Rani has become such a divisive and controversial character in the fandom is because of her lack of accountability. She doesn't apologize to Kion and the Guard for her part in the misunderstanding, she doesn't apologize them for accusing them of leading Makucha and co. there, and even when Kion and Rani have seemingly come eye-to-eye in Long Live the Queen, the next episode continues to have Rani talk down to Kion, saying he has "potential" and not apologizing. I like when characters have flaws, but it's not satisfying when they don't acknowledge those flaws, apologize, and grow. Having Rani and Baliyo apologize towards the Guard, like say, at the end of Little Old Ginterbong, and gradually learning from their impulsive mistakes would be good character development, and it would allow audiences to get more used to Rani.

More episodes at the Tree of Life. One big issue with the show's ending is that it up and puts so much limelight on the Tree of Life in the finale when it's only been present for over 9 episodes. That's not enough time to get us to care, especially if your main character(s) will be moving in there by the finale. We should've had more episodes at the tree to learn about its history, how it's structured as a kingdom, the biodiversity there. Maybe even tie in with the other hanging threads of lore such as the Evil Lions of the Past, Askari's connection to the Tree of Life, his discovery of the Roar of the Elders, and the prophecy on the Roar returning to the Tree of Life. One of the writers themselves even said that they had a vision for the Night Pride's backstory including the disappearance of Rani and Baliyo's parents and the origin of Rani's scar, that, because of the limited episodes they had planned for the final season never actually made it into the series. If Season 2 can have nearly 30 episodes, then Season 3 can come close to that mark, especially when it's the end of the story and you need to put your all into it.

I would change Binga into a sloth-bear. This is actually a key detail of canon divergence in my fanfic, Roar Towards the Future, but to re-iterate, I HATE canon Binga with a passion. Lazy, unoriginal, and reeks of a lot of tired, worn out tropes from the 2000's. And yeah, it's an interspecies relationship, but in a world where the animals can talk sing, and communicate with each other, would it have hurt to change the species at least? Also, we get an Ono solo song because we were fucking robbed.

I'd change the specifics of Kion's healing, where he is cured of the venom, but still is unable to control the Roar, so Nirmala continues the healing, to which Kion realizes is not physical anymore, it's emotional, and that him mastering the Roar represents him finally having both his body and mind at peace. I really didn't like how S3a built up the venom to be Kion's problem that he needed fixing, only for S3b to say, "nope, it's just trauma," and have his healing focus around that. It's a good idea on paper, especially if you view the venom as a metaphor, but in reality, the way it's executed just gives off the idea that mental/physical health issues are one in the same thing in a box, and that treating one will inherently and unoequivically treat the other, which uhm... is a terrible message to have in a kids' show. They should've not brought up the venom at all and have that be the message from the start, or resolve the venom plot-line and point out how that's not where the healing journey ends, because the end-result makes it seem like the writers just forced the venom in there as an excuse to write Kion out of the Pride Lands in time for TLK 2, with no thought forbeyond plot contrivance.

I'd have the Lion Guard age from teenagers to young adults in S3, starting with the episode Long Live the Queen, to give off the idea that the Guard has stayed at the Tree of Life for a while to the point where defending it from the villains/Kion's healing has become the new norm. According to the writers, they wanted them to remain teenagers until the end, as a contrast to Kiara being an adult, but I think that shoots their story in the foot when it's somewhat a coming of age story, as well as the marriage thing in the finale, so I would personally have them shown to be grown up starting in the episode of Janna's death. I'd also have the origin of Rani's scar be explained. And I'd also establish closure for Sarabi by having Kion say he never met any of his grandparents. I think Sarabi deserved at least some closure in the series.

The Lake of Reflection flashback confuses me so much, because like, Janja is a teen, presumably an older teen when Kion is a cub, I highly doubt he'd be this tiny ass cub when Kion was a toddler. I would just have the flashback include everyone's S1 models pre-Return of the Roar.

I would probably have the final battle at the Tree of Life be a mirror to Pride Landers Unite, where the animals of the Tree of Life help the Lion Guard and Night Pride defeat Makucha and his gang. I'd also have the Rani/Kion romance be a separate episode on its own, which would then end with the cliffhanger of Kion being asked to stay.

Oh boy, the finale. Basically, the main thing I'd change is that it'd be an extended episode, possibly a double-length episode, or even triple-length like the Elena of Avalor finale, just to wrap everything up. Vitani's Guard is made of a mixture of different species on the Lion Guard. You can even keep the all female aspect, just have them be different animals than lions. You'd expand more on the TLK 2 callbacks (i.e. mentioning Nuka, suckers!), wrap up more character arcs, have Vitani and her team actually earn her moment (like say, defeating a new enemy, or maybe Makucha's army comes back and Vitani saves the day). I'd cut the entire bullshit contest, it is so stupid. And by the end, Kion chooses to give up the Roar and stay at the Tree of Life with Rani, BUT the rest of his friends stay at the Pride Lands, (including Makini, because she deserved to stay). The ending isn't focused around Kion and Rani's teenage wedding (because for one, they wouldn't be teens) but it would focus on the animals of the Pride Lands and Tree of Life commemorating Kion's former Lion Guard for all of their years of defending the Circle of Life, ending on a reworked version of "Here Comes the Lion Guard" from the soundtrack.

And lastly, (this is just wish-bait). An epilouge scene showing a reunion between Kion's former Guard in the Pride Lands, depicting the new lives they lead years into the future. As the sun begins to rise, they all head to Pride Rock just in time for a royal celebration; The presentation of Queen Kiara's second-born cub, who will lead the Lion Guard of the next generation. Roll the credits!

[theabhainnhotel]

Every Hazbin Hotel Season 1 Song Ranked

Because why not. I'm going to go from worst to best and explain why I put them there. This will include songs from the pilot + Addict. I don't believe any song is bad per say, but some are definitely better than others. They're all better than Wish's music if that means anything.

There's going to be some very controversial picks here, please put the pitchforks down.

20. It Starts with Sorry - The best way I can describe this song is "aw that was cute . . . wait what were the lyrics again?" It sounds like a mid-tier MLP song and doesn't fit the rest of the soundtrack. Very forgettable and I also felt the introduction to the song in the episode had no build up. Animation was pretty here though.

19. Whatever it Takes - I was mixed between putting this one or It Starts with Sorry at the bottom, but I like Vaggie's part enough. There's something missing here and I can't put my finger on it. I feel like it could have been stronger because the lyrics are good, but the instrumentals are so bland. I listened to a review once that said that Carmilla is a new character the show treats like you should already know and I agree. Maybe that's the reason why I don't care for this song. Mostly carried by Zestial and Vaggie's vocals and some nice lyrics.

18. Welcome to Heaven - I don't think this song is as bad as everyone says, it's just less good than the others. It sounds like something you would hear at a public pool and like It Starts with Sorry, doesn't feel like it fits the track. Emily's part was the best part and it does do it's job of establishing the difference between Heaven and Hell. (also, I don't know if this is 100% true or not, but it's really funny to me that they had to redo this song because St. Peter moaned too much and Amazon was like "oh hell no we're not airing that")

17. More than Anything (Reprise) - Wow is Vaggie's voice pretty. Charlie's voice to. It's short and sweet and romantic. I wish they had a full song together. Would've been higher if it was longer, but that's the point of a reprise. It was more impactful when it was a father daughter song.

16. Alastor's Reprise - I forgot about this one until I relistened to the pilot songs for this ranking. My favorite thing about this song is how cynical it is. Alastor's basically saying "this hotel is a ridiculous idea that's going to crash and burn but I'm going to have fun with it". The swing remix of IOEDIAR is also very catchy. But just like the More than Anything reprise, it's too short to be put high up, especially with the abrupt ending.

15. Loser Baby - I like the message a lot: "Hey, the world might suck and we're both in horrible situations, but we're not alone". Keith David does a great job singing. Like with Whatever it Takes, I can't pinpoint what it is I don't like about this song, it just doesn't get me excited like a lot of the other songs do. "I got an appetite for samplin' every drug and sex toy I can FIIIIIIIND" makes me wince every time, that's a bad voice crack. The strong jazz in the back is my favorite part of the song. I'd listen to that lyricless. Not bad, I just don't care for it.

It does include Keith David singing "You're a power bottom at rock bottom" so that must count for something.

14. Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow - I have a soft spot for this song, even if it's jarring listening to Elsie Lovelock as Charlie after the series. It has a nice upbeat energy to it and the animation helps sells it. I like both bits where's she's naming off all of the people she wants to join in her hotel. It actually reminds me of Vox in Stayed Gone, trying to talk and move fast because they know they need to get the attention of the demons watching. However, the ending vocals are a bit annoying since they sound almost screeching. Also, the Amalee cover of this song is extremely underrated. Charlie's villain arc.

13. Happy Day in Hell - I feel bad for putting this song so low because I really do love it. It's a great introduction to who Charlie is as a character and what she sets out to do. It's her Disney "I want" song. And while I don't care about the other demons' parts that much, I like how their pessimism and acceptance of Hell contrasts with Charlie, but she doesn't let that stop her. It's also a very musically interesting song with different sections and instrumentals. A trend you're going to see in this ranking is that I really, really love Erika Henningsen's voice.

12. Addict - I've always liked the lyrics to this song, both in Angel's and especially Cherri's. The last verse of "I'm addicted to the sorrow, when the buzz ends, by tomorrow" is my favorite part. Angel's high of the day slows down just like the tempo and he finally takes the mask off. The one thing here is that, no hate to Michael Kovach I respect him greatly, Angel's voice sounds extremely auto-tuned. Once you hear it, you can't unhear it and it's a bit grating. I have to give it credit though for being the song that made me learn what Hazbin Hotel was, I found a version of it where Lust Sans and Dust Sans sang it and then searched it up.

11. Ready for This - This song and everything after is where the ranking gets difficult because ugh, all of these are so good. This one is another very theatre sounding song and I like how Charlie gets more confidence as the song goes on. Even if she's uncomfortable with how bloodthirsty the cannibals are, she wants to gather everyone together. I love Rosie and Alastor's singing, both together and apart, and it's funny that none of the cannibals gave a shit until he said "oh and you can eat the angels". That last verse is the best part, no wonder it was the song teased in the trailer. My gripe with this one is I feel the part where all the cannibals sing overstays it's welcome. Other than that, great song.

10. Hell is Forever - This song does a great job at establishing who Adam is: An admittedly funny douche who thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. The electric guitar fits his character and not just because he has the "guitar solo fuck yeah" part. He poses a decent threat, especially at the ending and doesn't care about any of Charlie's arguments or the sinners' lives. He literally says it's entertaining. Alex Brightman gives him so much character through his voice and the animation helps express that.

9. Out for Love - More than makes up for Whatever it Takes. Catchy, great singing, great beat, great chorography, sets up their future dynamic, and foreshadows the final battle. The reason Alastor failed while everyone else succeeded is because he fought for himself while everyone else fought for someone they cared about. Vaggie's love for Charlie saved her. Carmilla's voice is lovely. I just wish this one was a little longer, this song feels like there's a verse or two missing since it goes immediately to a bridge after the second chorus. I have a theory something may have been cut for time.

8. I'm Always Chasing Rainbows - This . . . this is not what I expected to be my favorite pilot song. And yes, I know technically it's not a Hazbin song but rather a cover of an old song, but I've seen it on other rankings and it's on the wiki, so it counts. There's just this haunting, defeated aura to this song that makes it beautiful. The context of it being Charlie feeling like a failure after watching her people die again gives it more impact. It sets up the bitter tone of the extermination. She's trying so hard to stay positive and it would be interesting to see an AU where she sings this as a result to the hotel failing. Very underrated, I love this song.

7. Hell's Greatest Dad - I'm a sucker for electro swing so this one was great. Alastor canonically pulled the "your daughter calls me daddy too" card on the king of Hell and that will never not be funny. This whole song is hilarious in the concept alone: Lucifer and Alastor have a music battle over child custody of Charlie but Alastor doesn't actually care about her and just wants to piss off Lucifer. Something about the way Lucifer sings "champagne fountains, caviar mountains" scratches my brain just right. The one thing that puts this song lower is Mimzy's part and the final verse after the instrumental battle being much weaker than the rest.

6. Finale/The Show Must Go On - I don't care what people say, I think it's a great final number and it feels like a musical finale before the audience claps. I know this song is always praised for the Vees part and yeah obviously that was the best part, but Charlie really stood out to me. Especially in the "We can do this (we can do this!), we'll be better (we'll be better!), though redemption may take a while (though it may take a while!). Alastor's part is haunting and is such a shift from the hotel resident's and really shows how high he prides himself, along with how much this "deal" affects him. Valentino and Vox's duet is super memorable and sets up intrigue for season 2. But seriously, why are the Vees like this (lovingly).

5. Respectless - I love Velvette's character here. She acts as this spoiled brat that thinks she's better than she is, but once she gets the reaction she wants out of Carmilla, she proves she actually is quite smart, even if she does nothing with the information she gained. Anyways, about the song now, it's a good length and does it's job of establishing Velvette and how the other overlords feel about her. It's good she has this since this is her biggest moment in season 1. Zestial has to have the patience of a saint. Her voice fits the hip hop parts and Carmilla's classical bits make good contrast and characterization to show the differences between the two.

I like to think sudden song battles are a common thing among overlords and it's almost expected at every meeting.

4. Stayed Gone - No, I didn't just put it near the top because it's my two favorite characters having a rap battle. This song has great banter and insults, along with establishing Vox and Alastor's dynamic. My favorite wordplay is "now his medium is getting bloody rare". I like how Vox is so frantic and jumping around to show he's insecure while Alastor is calm and collected. Vox is attracted terrified of Alastor and he doesn't want to admit it. It's also unique on how it's two villains having a song battle. The only thing I wish is that there were one or two more singing parts since those were the best part.

3. More Than Anything - It took me a while to warm up to this song and I had it at number 9 originally, but wow is it beautiful. Both Charlie and Lucifer's VA's do a great job here. It explains more about their past and concludes the arc set up in the episode. Charlie wants Lucifer to support her and Lucifer wants Charlie to be safe. It's the most emotional song and the lyrics are so beautifully written.

2. You Didn't Know? - This one and Stayed Gone were close, but I like this one a little more. It may have issues with the story (ex. the emotional impact would have been better if we knew Emily and Sera more), but on it's own, it's a great song. My favorite part is Adam and Lute's "There's no question to be posed, he's unholy, case closed! Did you forget that Hell is forever?" This feels the most like a musical song with everyone singing together and how the instrumentals are used. I read some lines sound clunky and while I agree for Charlie's "that's what the fuck I've been saying", I think Adam's "did you ever think your girlfriend might be a liar" works better than "might be lying" because "liar" sounds more accusatory. And obviously there's the part where Charlie and Emily sing together and that's amazing.

Poison - I adore every bit of this song, it's basically everything good in Addict cranked up to a 10. The storytelling, the lyrics, the vocals, this is one of those songs I can have on loop for hours and not get bored of it. The lyric progression from "addicted" to "choking" to "sick of" is so good and I love how it shows that he's breaking. It makes sense why Angel would have this song in his circumstances because that's his whole character: He's a deeply troubled and traumatized guy who hides under drugs, jokes, and sex. He wants to get away, but he can't because Valentino keeps feeding him his "poison". I had plans to do a mini essay on the dressing room scene in Masquarde and I'm going to include Poison in it too. I understand why people wouldn't like it, but I think it's a 10/10 and best song in the show.

[theheightofdishonor]

2023 year in review: part one

It's close enough to the end of the year that i'm writing my year in review. I decided to do a part for shows that actually aired in 2023. (i may or may not do a second part of this for all the shows i've watched this year but even from an initial glance its a LOT, we'll see. )

From what I have noted, I watched 81 shows this year that finished airing in 2023.

Broken down by country, its

Thailand: 35

Korea: 18

China: 10

Japan: 10

Philippines: 4

Taiwan: 4

48 of these were BL and 16 were GL.

Even this is actually so many that I don't quite know how to even break it down so I guess i'll just go by country?

Thailand

Thailand just has such a large output of content that naturally, the quality also tends to vary wildly meaning this produced both some of my absolute favorites and some of my most beloved.

On the beloved side, Bed Friend, IFYLITA, Moonlight chicken,My school president, and surprisingly Midnight Museum. And on a slightly lower tier, Be My Favorite, Dirty Laundry, Enigma, Shadow, Only Friends, and Warp Effect.

Bed Friend reminded me almost of Tharntype? But like good. I think the execution was great and NetJames definitely has some of the best chemistry in a year chock full of good chemistry. They're great in Middleman's Love too.

I Feel You Linger In the Air is Tee Bundit at his absolute best. He's great at blending genres together. He incorporated horror brilliantly into simr and I love how he leaned into the historical and time travel aspects of this historical time travel romance. There was some really cool things with the directing and the acting from Nonkul and Bright was great too. Me finding out Nonkul was doing a bl was probably how everyone else reacted back when news broke that Nanon was doing BBS. He's one of my favorite actors.

Moonlight Chicken ofc is near perfect. I loved seeing older queer people in a romance with Jim and Wen and the contrast to Li Ming and Heart was great. Not to mention the family and social dynamics and the way the show addresses Beam and Jim's relationship. The only complaint I have is that the lack of physical intimacy between Jim and Wen in the middle portions of the show and near the end felt weird considering the content of the show but even then, it's a pretty minor complaint and everything else about the show is great.

My School President is definitely the one I was most engaged in fandom for. And the only one I was waking up early every morning to watch. (and i'd watch each episode like 2-3 times too). The social media/shipping stuff at the end was fumbled a little bit but I loved the parents in this show and the friend group and tinngun. I still can't believe Fourth and Gemini were like 17-18 when they filmed this. They're both excellent actors. Oh MSP also had the best Our Skyy episodes btw. I'll die on this hill.

Midnight Museum I'll discuss later on too but it was fun. I liked how intentional they were with the cameos where it purposefully gave the actors roles that were completely different from anything they've done before, especially with Tu, Bright, and Nanon. The worldbuilding was also fascinating. I know someone here was making a timeline for it and they mentioned it was a damn pain to figure out but like kinda in a fun way? The decision to make KathaDome a bromance is odd and I hate it and I hate the implications for gmmtv but other than that it was good.

Be My favorite was way better than I ever expected from Jittirain. I do have to say that my experience was marred by the fact that I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, just from my experience with her shows but it didn't which was a pleasant surprise. I liked how they handled Aye's character and Kawi's growth.

I didn't think I'd like Enigma because I don't like Win but it was good. The supernatural/horror genre mix won me over. Also Prim is in this and i'm very weak for her. Win was nowhere on her level but he was more tolerable than I expected. I'm annoyed that she's not going to be in season 2 though because she's the main character?? GMMTV needs to understand that the draw of this show is Prim and not Win.

Only Friends. What a divisive show. I went into this wanting mess and drama and with the aim of not having any other expectations and for the most part, I succeeded. This show brought out the best from everyone in the cast, like genuinely these were some of the best performances that any of these actors have done. Absolutely stellar. Storywise, it was pretty good and very unique in terms of thai bl and gmmtv until that last bit with Boston and Nick which felt malicious and just mean compared to the neutral lens that the show had been portraying the other characters with. Watching it was pretty fun though and again, most of the story was really good so I guess i'm allowing it some grace.

Shadow isn't a bl but it is queer and I appreciated most of what it was doing with the historical horror suspense elements. I think towards the end it definitely was way shakier and I don't understand why they made some of the decisions they made but I really liked the first 3/4 of the show. Fluke and Singto are obviously good too, even though they're both way too old at this point to still be playing high schoolers.

The Warp Effect had the distinct vibe of a PSA and Gigie and Fah should've dated but otherwise, it was a fun watch, I think. I liked Alex's character arc, I liked everyone's character arcs honestly. On my notes, I wrote that the ending was a bit flat so points off for that but it was good.

A lot of these are from GMMTV which when it was good, was incredible and when it was bad, I usually was decent at avoiding them completely

The worst offender from Thailand that I didn't avoid is Tee Bundit with the double hit of Step by Step and Show Me Love. I think people far more eloquent than me have written a lot about sbs so I won't say much but like I almost refrained from watching IFYLITA because of how hurt I was by sbs. And Show Me Love was just like offensively mediocre which hit worse at the time because I had just watched Something In My Room and IFYLITA beforehand and made the mistake of having expectations from Tee. In my defense, Tee's usually good at writing engaging characters and casting for good chemistry so I had no reason to believe he'd fail here.

Hmm what else. Oh actually, brief mention of Nanon's filmography this year since I checked out all of it and he tends to be so good even in mediocre shows that I can't help but be intrigued.

Hmm what else. Oh actually, brief mention of Nanon's filmography this year since I checked out all of it and he tends to be so good even in mediocre shows that I can't help but be intrigued. Dirty Laundry by JoJo was excellent. It was a little hard to get into because i'm not a fan of the genre but i loved it. Also Film and Nanon are a fun pair and I think they get better with every showing. UMG actually was mediocre despite the great cast and I want better from Nanon so I dropped it. Namtam and Milk's characters should lowkey have gotten together though. In Midnight Museum, Nanon's a side character (which i honestly forgot was something gmmtv let him do) but he fucking KILLED it. He played three roles here and all of them were new for him and you could tell the guy was having a blast. I can't say it's some of the best acting I've seen from him but that's only because when Nanon is good, he's always this good. Oh and also, Nanon and View in MM is the best chemistry he's ever had with a girl. Our Skyy, there's not a lot I'm willing to say publicly about all that but Nanon even at half-effort is still better than half of GMMTV's stable. The Jungle was a terrible mess but Nanon was so excellent in it that i'm still writing essays about Nannam and Nanfah months later. Nanon and Mild as a pair were also excellent and the only ones that made it out of this show unscathed. The rest as I said, is a mess but one that could've been somewhat redeemed by making Mix a vampire. (this might not make sense but like watch Mix's performance alright he's trying sooo hard to be shady and mysterious and they never let it go anywhere) My precious was a fairly run of the mill movie with excellent acting. As a plot I think it's a little thin for a show but i'm interested to see how they'll stretch it out. Hopefully the longer runtime means the friend group can be fleshed out a little bit more.

Korea

Well that ended up not being all that brief but moving on, I thought Korea would have more on a showing because I remembered watching a lot of kdramas but turns out most of the kdramas I watched were from previous years so, only 18. A very dramatic drop from Thailand's 35.

The best of these included The Eighth Sense, Our Dating Sim, and Welcome to the Lesbian Bar with Sing My Crush being ever so slightly underneath. I would rec Lesbian Bar to literally everyone, but especially those who enjoyed MLC. It's got that same queer family focus with the central relationship being this baby lesbian and her lesbian aunt. Out of the not queer stuff, My Perfect Stranger was an excellent time travel romance, The Glory Season 2 was better than all the other season twos that came out this year, and

If Korea produced anything too egregious this year (outside of Taxi Driver and Uncanny Counter's season 2s) I missed it. But out of the ones I watched, the most disappointing was A Shoulder To Cry On, followed rather distantly by Bump Up Business, both for very different reasons. I will say though that whatever is wrong with Tae Hyun in A Shoulder To Cry On is very appealing to me in the same way that Tae Joo from Where Your Eyes Linger was except like a weaker version.

China

I once thought i'd never touch a cdrama again but here I am, having watched 3 whole traditional length cdramas this year. The other 7 are almost all from the Legend of Yunze's catalog because I love their content. The best by leaps and bounds was Nu Er Hong by Legend of Yunze. I think it's my favorite out of everything they've made. The studio's really started to figure out their pacing and also this one was fairly dark and dark gl- dark anything really- is right up my alley. A flower for 3 lives and Seven Gods of Joy by the same studio had great concepts but shakier execution. Stepping outside of them, A league of noblemen was probably my favorite traditional cdrama but Mysterious Lotus Casebook was fun fandom-wise since people on tumblr were watching it.

I think the only show i'd classify as bad is probably My everlasting bride which I watched on a whim. Under a miscroscope started good and then ended boring so overall averages into mediocre. This wouldn't be a crime anywhere else but I expect good pacing from my cdramas.

Japan

I liked pretty much everything I watched from Japan this year so imma go with my worst off which was Jack O' Frost. This is more on me than on the show itself because the concept just squicked me out a lot more than I expected it to. Badly enough that i've blocked the tag.

On the best of, I don't even know if I can choose. Hmm, Bokura no micro na shuumatsu, Kimi ni wa todokanai, Kinou nani tabeta s2, both the My Beauitful Man installments, and Taikan Yoho. Ahhh, and Tokyo in April is... Welp well turns out I couldn't actually choose. This was pretty much everything I watched.

I didn't think I'd like Bokura no as much as I ended up liking it. And I don't know if I would've liked it as much if any other country had produced this show. But it was achy and wistful and I fell in love;.

Kimi ni wa todokanai though was hands down my favorite from Japan and I don't even like friends to lovers. It also helped that they, mostly Yamato reminded me a bit of Kageyama and Hinata. Like I know it's just common character archetypes but also, it's kagehina core, yeah? The bed scene where Yamato yeets Kakeru onto the bed was both hilarious and just well done. I liked the way Yamato wrestled with his desire.

I watched Kinou Nani Tabeta s2 just a couple days ago since I was waiting to binge it and i'm glad I wasn't watching this weekly because it would make everything else I watch weekly dull in comparison. Honestly would watch 100 seasons of this. It's perfect.

My Beautiful Man S2 and My Beautiful Man: Eternal were both solid. I think mbm s1 had tighter pacing but week to week, I enjoyed s2 more. For some reason I didn't write notes for either but I do remember liking both so.

Taikan Yoho. If not for the kghn vibes from kimi ni wa, this would be my favorite. Like their dynamic and just the layers of it and how it presents itself in the language of the show is just so tailored to my taste. I think I wanted just a little bit more from them, but what I got was excellent.

Philippines

I only watched four and somehow, it's perfectly split into 2 gls and 2 bls. I really do like pinoy stuff and the way they write relationships but I don't watch a lot of it because I don't know a lot of people who track it and also because most of it is on yt and i don't like the yt interface. But out of what I watched, the best was The Day I Loved You and Stand-In Love.

The Day I Loved You did a good job in handling the love triangle and Eli's illness. I'm not sure how I feel about the ending but it was still good.

Stand-In Love is about 2 best friends who are in a 'stand-in' relationship with each other where the straight one is helping the lesbian one learn how to court a girl but then they end up falling in love. It's like 20 minutes long, it's fucking adorable, very well done for the amount of time it had.

The other two things I watched was Tie the Not and Lei and Mar. Tie the Not is basically just pinoy Wedding Plan and I find that I don't care for the concept. Lei and Mar is a cute friends to lovers that for some reason ends in a car crash. Like it started out really cute and then bam, car crash out of absolutely nowhere. Just, why?

Taiwan

Kiseki: Dear to Me was fun and I liked the cameos. It was a funny experience for me though because I consumed a lot of this show via gifsets but I never actually read the synopsis and whatever the hell I thought this was about was decidedly not it.

Fall For You - it's tragic, it is but I laughed

Stay By My Side reminded me a bit of Hikaru No Go but I can't tell you why. It's more cute domestic fluff than plot but I watched it twice so clearly I didn't mind too much at the time. Plus, it has ghosts and i'm a sucker for supernatural stuff.

You are mine was a mess and I think I watched up til the penultimate episode. What is it with office bls this year?

[oscar-delancey]

ask game - 16 and 21 (+why) for oscar :)

Of course you ask for him SMH

16 - Who would your character consider as part of their family?

It truly depends on the version we are talking about, to be honest. In every case, he always cares deeply for Morris. They're brothers that have been through thick and thin together, he's not someone who Oscar would turn on ever. Their dynamic definitely changes depending on the canon source we are talking about (I see 92sies, OBC, livesies, and UK all having very different relationships), but those two are inseparable to a degree. If you expand beyond Morris, I would argue he kinda sees some of the newsies as family. It very much depends on the situation, but some of them I'd argue are more family to him than his own uncle. Specifically, IMO, Jack. I'd say, while they're constantly at each others' throats, they wouldn't actually harm each other to the point they couldn't get back up. They're the kind of enemies who would defend each other if push comes to shove. At least, that's how Oscar sees it. There's no telling how Jack feels back. Specifically Livesies, I would add Katherine to the mix. The brothers in the proshot seem to be much better off than we see them in other official versions of the show. I like to think that they grew up together to a degree (it's a headcanon I've held dear to me for ages now) and, despite the circumstances that led to their separate ways of life, Oscar would still see Katherine as a familial figure.

21 - Does your character have trust issues?

God, yeah he does. Trust does not come easily to him, yet sometimes it comes way too easily. Oscar is not one to trust many adults in his life due to his past (his parents abandoning him and his brother in the refuge when they were little, Weisel's horrendous treatment of the two of them as they grew up, etc etc). Even if one truly means good, he's wary. Extremely wary. Sometimes, though, he puts too much trust into others his age way too easily. Despite the constant back and forth and squabbles with the newsies, he trusts them. What he trusts them with is up in the air, but he has faith in them to be decent and to have some form of empathy, even if it's not for him. With Jack specifically, Oscar put trust in him over the strike. He believed that the other boy could lead the newsies and other working-class and poverty-stricken kids to a life with a bit more going for them. He can't partake in the strike, not as "hired" muscle for his uncle. So to see someone he would consider a form of family take a stand and lead the newsies to take on the head of the paper himself? He trusted Jack with his life during that time.

[sunny6677]

My perspective on Poison (from Hazbin Hotel) as a SA survivor myself.

TWS FOR COCSA, ABUSE MENTIONS, SEXUAL ASSAULT MENTIONS

If this post starts fights, I will be deleting it. I don't wanna deal with anything aggressive. So please don't try to make me./gen

Soooo not tagging this as Vivziepop Critical just cuz I don't wanna drag a bunch of stuff like that into a post that's just meant to be my POV on this kinda thing, but this isn't really a Pro Vivziepop post either since this is just what I think. Just cuz this is how I see the scene in particular doesn't mean every assault victim may see it this way.

The thing this post is about is the scene 'Poison' from 'Hazbin Hotel', which I won't get into much detail about since it may include spoilers for the show itself, but all I'll say is that it depicts a character going through a very miserable time and also being heavily mistreated by their boss, and even being actually assaulted.

To be honest, as a victim of assault myself, typically I tend to be sort of.. numb to this kind of content? I've been on the Internet for so long that really dark stuff just doesn't phase me anymore, so I had little to no reaction while actually watching the scene itself. However, to be honest—I actually kind of appreciated the representation. My assault was different. It wasn't by a boss or anyone older. It was actually when I was younger—by a fellow elementary school student, and it happened again by yet another child like myself a little later on—and even now I feel like I deserve it because of an incident that occured previously and was my fault entirely. So I usually can't connect that well with representation unless it's kinda like mine. But even with that, I still appreciated something like Angel to look at. Hell, I even saw other victims saying they LOVED Angel—I'm sure I can't compile them all here but if you go in the comment section of the AMV itself, I'm sure you'll find them.

..on the other hand though, there's victims who absolutely hate Angel. They hate him either because they see him as a bad depiction of an experience they went through, or because they simply believe Vivziepop didn't write him well enough. I don't have anything to say against this, mainly because I believe that if someone just sees a character a certain way, that's how they see them and I can't change that. And also because I can maybe sort of see why some victims wouldn't like him. Some might not like the overly vulgar nature of his character because it feels as if they're being sexualized rather than just him being hypersexual. Some may not like him just because they think there's some things missing about his experience, or they think the way the AMV depicts the situation makes it seem very sexual rather than miserable. I personally thought it seemed miserable and like he was suffering throughout the whole thing, but maybe to others, it felt different.

I think a part of this may be the negativity associated with assault making it hard to just bear scenes like that in general, and people trying to rationalize their own personal disgust by calling it horrible and what not. It isn't as if people can control this. People tend to have very strong negative feelings toward certain things after traumatic experiences all the time and tend to just be very disgusted or panicked about whatever it is in general.

I don't think there is a right or wrong in this situation. This is just how different victims are effected by the scene itself. Some are positively effected by it, calling it good representation of abuse and what not. Whereas others are very negatively effected for their own personal feelings regarding the scene and depiction itself. Everything about this scene has people very mixed.

While I personally found nothing wrong with the scene at all, this doesn't mean you can't criticize it if you wish to do so. If you don't like it, then you just don't like it. If you do like it, then you like it. I'd rather listen to the perspective of another person about this scene if they wish to share it with me rather than treat them like they know nothing about assault itself just because they feel differently about it. And if you wish to say how you feel about the scene, I don't mind discussing it here so long as you don't take this as an opportunity to start fighting.

Again, this is my personal opinion. If this post starts a fight, then I'll possibly delete it just because I'm not up for dealing with stuff like that either way. I'm not really a Vivziepop liker or hater in general. I just feel kinda nothing about her if I'm being honest. Stopped caring about her after a while since I just kinda came to the realization that I could be doing so much more with my life, but I care about this random adult woman who doesn't even know me—so from then on I've just ignored her.

I also won't be tagging this just incase anyone comes through tags looking for a fight.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Are edward and walter white similar?

Fascinating question, the answer is yes and no.

A Bit on Edward

Edward, I'd say, is a mix of several characters. He's Patrick Bateman, with a dash of GOB from Arrested Development, Buster from Arrested Developmen, and Walter White from Breaking Bad.

However, what I'd say is that Edward and Walt share similar tendencies and similar tragic flaws. However, they have them to different degrees and are ultimately influenced by different traits.

Pride

Edward and Walt are both very prideful people. Edward is a deeply insecure person and is driven, in part, by pride to come back and confront Bella Swan out of terror of being the one who fucks up. Edward feels deeply daunted by Rosalie's perfect record, by Carlisle's. He has this whole nonsense inheritance scheme so that he can contribute some funds to the family like Alice and Carlisle, never mind that this more than anything might get them caught down the line.

Edward is very driven by pride and vicious to those who cast doubt on it (i.e. Bella Swan in the beginning of their relationship where her very blood nearly caused him to lose his shit).

Walter's this but to eleven. Nearly every tragic decision Walter makes, every time he chooses to be worse, is driven by pride.

We learn as early as season 1, very early in before the meth goes anywhere close to taking off, that he had options. He could have gotten help from Hank and Marie, from his mother, and of course Gretchen and Elliott. There was no need to cook meth. But he did because he couldn't stand the thought of being thought of as not being able to provide for his family.

Which, of course, leads to problems when he has to launder the money and throws a fit in that it's being given to him as "donations" from strangers across the US through his son's website.

We also learn that even before the show, Walt could have had a very different life. He walked out on Elliott and Gretchen for what seems, in part, due to Gretchen's money and his chip on the shoulder regarding that and then his refusal to be a part of the company when they had broken up.

We don't know how he ended up a high school teacher with those degrees, but I imagine there was a very similar path of Walter just being too damn proud.

Perfectionism

One of Walt's tragic, defining, features is an inherent need for perfectionism. Everything Walt engages in, he has to be the best. They have to expand to more territory, he has to go straight to a distributor, he has to be a kingpin, he's always pushing even in truly dangerous scenarios where he has no idea what he's doing and this inevitibly leads to disaster.

This quality, I'd say, Edward doesn't have. Edward does tend to obsess on something and fixate. When he decides to stalk Bella he does so thoroughly by hiding in her house, seeing her through the eyes of unwitting friends, following her into town, etc. If he's going to stalk Bella, he's going to do it right.

We also see him come up with various schemes such as the scholarship fund that Bella sees through in two seconds. The stealing of Bella's photographs of him to make it so he never existed.

However, he's just not at the level of Walt.

Were it Walt in Edward's position, he'd demand the murder of the Volturi at the end of New Moon because he knows they might be coming and he can stand for nothing less. He'd infiltrate human gangs undercover in the 1920's so as to better gain a network to find out who exactly he should be picking off. Then murder those who he doesn't need to eat either.

Ego in Terms of Intellect

Both Edward and Walt think they're the smartest people in the room. In Walt's case, he actually is a bright guy, though not as much as he gives himself credit for.

Edward's dumb as bricks but still consistently believes he is by far the most intelligent and is shocked whenever Bella does something to prove that she may, in any way, be able to keep up.

(Edward was stunned out how good Bella was at high school Biology, which... Edward... Jesus...)

Edward doesn't show it too often, as there's no real Jesse around who is quite bright without all the education that Walter respects, but he has a similar way of treating everyone else around him.

They Both Run Their Mouths and Are Very Impulsive

Edward and Walt both have this bad habit of, when backed into a corner, trying to resolve this by yelling at the people who are more than likely going to kill them or are the only means of saving their lives.

Walter confronts Gus relentlessly upon realizing that Gus is going to kill him. He panics for an entire season, desperately trying to get in contact, while alternately losing his shit at everyone around him not limited to Jesse, Mike, Skylar, Hank, etc.

Edward thinks it's a grand idea, upon having broken the law, to yell at the Volturi in their throne room WHILE THEY ARE DEBATING WHETHER HE OR HIS GIRLFRIEND LIVE OR DIE.

Later, Edward breaks a TV in his frustration. Walt does shit like burn his cash, crash cars and make them explode, make other people's cars explode, break into his lawyer's office, etc.

They Want to Be Better People Than They Are

Walt has his moment in early season 3 where Jesse after rehab notes that he's finally accepted what he is, he's the bad guy. Walt has an existential crisis for several episodes where he tries to convince himself that he is not a criminal, that he's really a good guy, and that this life isn't his.

It doesn't last long, but he desperately wants to believe it, to believe that he's different and not like the rest.

Edward, too, wants to believe he's a good man. Edward's slightly more self-aware in that he knows what he is, that he's not a good man, but he very much wants to be one and it haunts him that he might not be.

Violence

One place where they do differ is that I'd say Edward is driven (and terrified by) an inherent desire for violence. He has frequent fantasies of smashing Mike's head in, he calmly plots the murder of an entire classroom of students so he can eat a girl, he plots luring this girl out into the woods to eat her, he very nearly murders the men who followed her in Port Angeles. This is something Edward is aware of and something he despises in himself and constantly fights against.

Walter isn't so much driven by violence but that his pride, his ego, his panicking inevitably leads him to having to commit violence. And as he dons the persona Heisenberg, he likes the idea of how it makes him look. Heisenberg is a kingpin, a man to be taken seriously, someone who "is the danger" in Walt's own words. Heisenberg is the man Walter wants to be. I never got the feeling that it was so much that, deep down, he had an innate need to strangle Crazy Eight and see the light go out of him.

Of course, in the AU where Edward decides to break bad, I could see him having a very similar ego trip on his way to becoming a kingpin.

[forestwater87]

Okay, for all of you who don't feel like watching Miles RP as David

Here are some of my favorite quotes. Context may be added if I feel like it. Reactions are my goblin brain screaming. All of these came from a discord so if they don't make sense . . . see goblin brain comment.

(That link should start directly at the point where he becomes David; if it doesn't, skip to 1:40:33)

In roughly chronological order:

David: "Teachers are sort of like camp counselors during the rest of the year."

The thing is David is absolutely up his own ass enough to think this.

David: "Trail mix is expensive!"

^ said to show he understands why not everyone can donate to the charity for teachers. Very adorable, am crying.

David's "ooooh" seeing one dude was extremely non-heterosexual. Fucking bicon. Him losing his mind that one of the arenas is called "Survey camp"

David: "A person's hitting me -- I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry this is just pretend!"

This is just canonically how David plays video games. Either this or he's unwilling to commit violence at all, but I'll defer to Miles.

David: "That's very goat of you!"

Spencer: "Is David popular amongst his campers?"

David: "I like to think so! There's only 3 staff members, so I'm definitely in everyone's top 3."

"That also means you're in the bottom 3."

David: "Well, I choose not to think of it that way."

(I have to keep adding reacts so you can tell when one quote ends and another begins. Judge not lest ye be judged)

I think the other person in the stream is named Spencer. Friend of Miles. I know literally nothing else about him and am not even confident on those facts.

Every time he says something so non-David in his David voice I die: "I have a lot of grenades!"

David: "Oh my goodness, would you look at this beautiful scenery! Can we hike that mountain?"

This is so goddamn cute. I am dying. Miles looked at his fans and said "they will eat tonight" and I am so relieved.

David: "Not to be a couple of Greedy Garys, but I say we get this [care package] and then I'll drop another one!"

The fact that Miles is grinning like a lunatic the entire time is very good. (Also if this is formatted badly then I'm sorry but not all that sorry. I'm doing my best and David would be proud of me.)

David: "Didja getim? Didja getim? didja getim? How 'bout now?"

Spencer: "I didn't get 'em."

David: "Well, you tried your best and that's all that matters."

He calls healing "a little health kiss." I'm not sure why but it's very important to me.

David: [while jumping to murder someone] "Hi! Scuse me!"

(i just need something to separate the quotes okay)

David: "Well you know what gang, we did our best. You don't always win the 3-legged race. You did a wonderful job!"

Then there's a bit where they talk about Spencer's time at summer camp:

David: "ooooh hand-holding's pretty serious!"

David is too pure.

David: [dreamily] "Did you fall in love, Spencer? A summer love?" [puts hands up to his face]

Then there's the fact that David/Miles gets to pick where they play each round, and he keeps insisting on going to the one called "Survey Camp" every single time because it has the word "camp" in it.

David: "Now, I don't like to disagree, but . . . I was thinking we could go . . . to Survey Camp!"

Spencer reminds him that technically since David's the one with the power to choose, his opinion is the only one that matters:

David: "Everyone's opinion matters. And my opinion is we're going to camp."

David just steamrolling over Spencer's interests is very good. There are these little selfish nuggets sprinkled in among the wholesomeness that really capture the full David experience.

David: "Well, he's climbing up . . . he's coming my direction . . . oh, he looks scary . . ."

Spencer: "Is he coming towards me?"

David: "Oooh, I don't know. I'm dead!"

The positivity is relentless. I think Miles said on twitter afterwards that this whole thing was exhausting and I can see why. Being David is no picnic . . .

David: "I have a question: do we have to shoot each other in this game?"

And then a few seconds later:

David: "I'm just wondering if maybe there's a way we can, you know, help others. Talk through our issues."

And a few seconds after that:

David: "I was asking if they wanted to be friends in the game!"

I believe that moved killed him, too. Precious.

Also we're interrupting the real Miles!David content to share something my friend suggested to me while I was watching this and giving her quotes; she said that maybe David just calls everything camp to make life more fun, and then sent me this imaginary exchange that actually killed me all the way to death:

David: Gwen Santos would you go to marriage camp with me

Gwen: I'm going to have to change this story when I tell everyone

It made me laugh quite a bit.

Anyway, back to the video!

Spencer: "How do you sign up for [Camp Campbell]?"

David: "Well, um, you can fax, uh, an application to CameronCCampbell@hotmail.realwebsite.noreallyrealwebsite.com. And . . . you can know that myself and Gwen and Quartermaster and sometimes Mr. Campbell will do our best to make sure they get what they need! Which more than anything is love and support. And friendship."

Spencer: "How many dollars does this camp cost?"

David: "You know . . . it is, um . . ."

And then the conversation switches subjects and David breathes a sigh of relief.

Very shortly after this he changed his character from a woman (she was wearing a yellow shirt, which he liked because the campers wear yellow shirts) to "a Forward Scout with a positive attitude!"

"I like his style."

Spencer: "Does everybody abuse David verbally?"

David: "You know, sometimes people have harsh words. Mostly Max, and Neil, and Gwen, and Quartermaster, and Nurf."

Spencer: "Did you just list almost everyone?"

David: "Mmm . . . I'd say maybe a third."

Poor David. Somebody please protect him.

Spencer: "Yeah, I think people abuse David. I get that vibe. Or at least, I feel it in my heart. Like I wanna put ants in your bunk or something."

David: "Well, I think that says more about maybe some of the hurt you're carrying with you. And sometimes when people don't know how to process that, they act out. Do you want some trail mix?"

David just said his favorite part of trail mix is the raisins which is so cute. "They have a little bit of salt on them, which isn't typical for a raisin."

And he keeps telling chatters to watch their language.

David: "Who is my favorite camper? Aww, you know I couldn't pick a favorite! . . . But I know who has the most potential, even if he doesn't want to admit it."

I KNEW IT!!!!!

I've been saying for years that David doesn't have a favorite and gravitates towards the ones he thinks need him the most AND I FINALLY GOT ONE RIGHT!

David: "Well you know, Gwen swears and that's okay."

shipping intensifies

David: [gasp] "The moss is growing on the north side of the rock!"

Every time he nerds out about weird shit in the game I gain 3 seconds to my life.

Spencer: "Did you get teabagged?"

David: "What's that?"

Spencer: "It's where somebody places their most intimate bits on you for . . . friendship."

David: [softly] "Oh, I don't know about that."

Also David confirms that the whole show has been a single summer, so please see the "vindication" gif above.

David: "I know a lot of fun camp songs."

Spencer: "Sing 3."

David: [starts singing] "Bum-bum-bumblebee, bumblebee tuna, I love bumblebee, bumblebee tuna . . ."

Spencer: "Okay, please stop. I immediately regret this decision."

David: "Max said the same thing! One of my campers. And, uh, and my co-counselor, Gwen."

He's literally made of sunshine. I would die for this fictional man.

Spencer: "Are people at camp against their will? I feel like they are."

David: "No! . . . They don't always like it immediately, but it grows on them."

Spencer: "It sounds like they're there against their will."

David: "Well I just think that's a negative way of looking at it."

FWIW Spencer makes an excellent foil to David. Not as aggressive as Max or as dour as Gwen, but he brings a very . . . like, straight-man energy to the conversation. Like how a normal person would react to David IRL. I'd enjoy seeing these two interact more.

Spencer: "It's like your overpositivity is wanting me to balance it out with negativity."

David: "You know, I feel like that dynamic's pretty popular with me."

eeeeeeee <3

And the last one that I personally found noteworthy:

David: "One day we'll be able to afford safety equipment. Until then, we'll just have to deal with Quartermaster's Ropes Course. And a lot of pillows."

There's point near the last 20 minutes where either it got kinda boring or I just got too tired to keep track. But if there are any quotes you think I missed, please share them! This was a really lovely bit of content to feed our starving maw, and I appreciate Miles very very very much for taking one for the team.

[aromantic-misguide-to-romance]

Egg Hunt Nightmare - short review

Devilgrams: Easter Egg Panic! (Diavolo), Race for the Golden Egg! (Mammon), Let's Decorate Eggs! (Beelzebub)

Easter Egg Panic!

The premise is ridiculous. Diavolo caused very stupid trouble again, mostly, and MC runs around with him, trying to help him fix it. Standard, just dumber than usual. The ending excuses it all though and I understand that sacrifices must have been made.

Most of the Devilgram is, as expected from the Nightmare, egg hunt and running after magical eggs. Since the title isn't as obvious as with other Devilgrams, I won't say much about plot.

First 3 episodes are generally not very memorable, but despite the generic topic of egg hunt, the plot is well executed. The scenes surprisingly vary a lot - some faster paced, some calmer, some sweeter, some more comedic, so you don't get bored with one motif stretched for too long. It's a decent mix of comedic action, a sweet word here and there, casually hinting the bond between Diavolo and MC.

That underlying bond naturally opens the door for more romantic exchanges and scenes and gives a reason for this ridiculous premise.

Part 4 is much longer and much more rewarding, so it makes up for the slightly bland previous parts, it's mostly both heartwarming and funny. It also offers a kiss option. Also in that cute sweet adorable situation, if you don't go for the kiss, the alternative suddenly kicks you in the gut with a completely casually dropped angst bomb, so enjoy your screamcat.jpg moments.

Choices: quite okay, nothing rude, nothing stupid, they're incorporated into the story in a believable way. But they're mostly just choice + reaction and most of them don't change anything. One chain of choices however is relevant, as a whole unlocks quite a long and meaningful scene. You have to get them all right to get to the end of it and to the kiss choice.

Music: with the variety of moods that the Devilgram covers, every one of them has a fitting piece playing. Well-chosen.

Very fun Devilgram, worth a try for the comedic moments - spiced up with usual Diavolo angst. It's not groundbreaking though - a decent story rather than a masterpiece.

Race for the Golden Egg!

The Devilgram has plenty of action plot as the title suggests so Mammon and MC are constantly running around but that's pretty much it. It is... not very interesting, and doesn't bring interesting interactions between characters either. It's focused entirely on Mammon's hunt for the golden egg, so it's exactly what it says on the tin. Nothing less, nothing more.

There are two romantic moments, but the first romantic option is disconnected and wasn't properly incorporated into the scene - it's sweet but the transition between it and the plot is very unnatural and throws off.

Of course, it's not one of those Devilgrams with lots of romantic potential, it's rather intended as one of those comedic ones... but it could have more bond between MC and Mammon and most of Mammon's hunt is rather bland than funny anyway. It's too focused on the hunt that it completely doesn't have ideas for. It tries to move the action around but it doesn't bring much variety into the adventure.

Choices: the main problem. You generally can choose between cheering Mammon on to amplify his recklessness or being a jerk, even in romantic scenes. Considering that people probably read Devilgrams to spend time with characters they actually like, I don't think the Devilgram gives any sensible options to react. There are various Devilgrams that make the turn down options actually fun, hilarious and friendly and this… definitely isn't one of them. Good choices aren't fun either since they might come off as making fun of Mammon rather than genuinely helping him - he does mess up specifically because MC was rushing him to dive into action but when MC doesn't rush him - he figures out right away how to get it done. So if you don't feel either like being a jerk or amplifying Mammon's tendencies for laughs but let's say would like to raise the number of braincells from zero to one… no choices for you.

Music: doesn't disturb, it's well-chosen and plays multiple pieces typical to funny moments and shenanigans.

I'd say that this Devilgram is very mediocre - nothing new or interesting about Mammon there, few heartwarming moments, annoying choices, the humour isn't outstanding either.

Let's Decorate Eggs!

The Devilgram is about cooking and decorating eggs, so exactly what it says on the tin, nothing more, nothing less. As such, it doesn't have any plot aside from cooking the eggs and decorating them, obviously, and is much calmer and slow paced than the other two. We don't really see any new unexpected sides of Beel and generally it doesn't offer much plot-wise, but it's a pleasant read.

It shows Beel trying out a new hobby and MC is accompanying him on various tasks related to it - so fortunately it has some variety and not just one scene stretched for 4 episodes.

The story itself is quite fluffy but not overly sweet as it's not focused on romance but spending time together, doing something fun. It has one (1) comedic moment - it's funny but it won't make you wheeze.

As a story with such a limited premise it's definitely well-done. It could be more balanced if it had more romantic moments, so if you look for romance and kisses all over the place, it's not this Devilgram.

Choices: some are boring - MC can either be enthusiastic or meh (bordering on rude, I'd even say) about Beel's ideas, most give just a reaction. There are choices that unlock more romantic scenes and further choices - it's quite easy to guess which choice does that.

Music: well-chosen, it's mostly just music typical for just calm everyday stuff going on, so exactly the right pieces for the story.

In general, the Devilgram doesn't offer anything particularly interesting, but it might be a nice addition to your Devilgram collection if you're interested in spending some time with Beel on a new hobby.

In conclusion, Diavolo's SSR is a fun, good read, Beel UR is just nice, Mammon's UR is skippable… maybe that's good, considering the trouble getting the card...