#i'd be fine w/ pretty much any of them though haha-

[spotaus]

Getting over my social anxiety to contact a new dnd dm 🙏 the things I'll do for that stupid game istg-

[pixelatedraindrops]

Hello everyone!! Today I grow a year older :3 (and I hate it lmao) FEEL FREE TO REPLY BIRTHDAY WISHES IF YOU WANT :3

So, over the time I've come back here, I've become pretty confident and proud of my once hidden passion about sick characters, sickfics and sick comfort/whump... 🌡️

And you all have been so supportive and sweet despite my weirdness so I thank you for that. You helped me feel more confident in my otherwise weird fixation <3 So, for my birthday I thought I'd try and make up a little drawing challenge for anyone who wants to give it a try... There are soo many talented artists on this site (and in this fandom)

So... It's your turn to target your faves now. You will see how fun it is and hopefully understand why I love doing it so much. 😈🌡️

(plus it's my birthday and I require some sustenance LMAO JKJK)

But yeah anyone can join in. This is just for fun though! You don't have to if you don't want to! I think its okay to ask for some food on my birthday though...right?? X'D So if you wanna do sth for my birthday...then... 👉👈 💦

CHALLENGE BELOW~

DRAW YOUR FAVE ON A SICK DAY CHALLENGE🌡️😷🥵🤧

~~~~

(Mmmmkay, I am lying to myself when I say this isn't mostly aimed at the RainCode community... X'D Can't help myself. But anyone can join regardless of the fandom!!)

So here's the challenge and the rules!! (featuring my two main lil targets ofc :3)

Regardless of who it is, put your fave through some sickness hell >:3c I'd love to see it! Make em' as miserable as you want!

destroy them 😈 jkjk XD

If you're in the RainCode community you can target anyone, but as you know, my main targets are Yuma and Makoto. If they're also your faves and who you decide to use, that will make me extra happy!

Some tips for anyone new to drawing a sick day scenario art. A few things that make it look convincing are the following:

Pajamas or Loungewear

Messy Bed Hair

Fever flushed face w sweat or at least a red nose

Tired Eye bags

Shivery body

Ice Pack or a Compress on the head

Thermometer sticking from their mouth

LOTS OF BLANKETS

Tissues or medicine surrounding them

Tea or Soup (or both)

Those are just to name some from the top of my head. If you'd like some pointers on how to make a character look ill, check out my Fever Coloring Guide. This is for digital artists but traditional artists can try it too!

You can add injury or angst to the scene but I'd like illness to be the main focus of it.

The scene can be anything you want to, it can be fluffy and wholesome (with a caretaker) it can be angsty, or it can be silly. Its all up to you! Do it for the sake of fluff! Caretaking scenes are the best for any kind of relationship >w<

Either way, have fun with it!! I look forward to see what people make if they decide to give it a try! It doesn't even have to be a full on picture! Doodles and sketches are fine too! Just show me something >w<

(feel free to tag me and say happy b-day and mention my challenge, I am proud to be known for this and would love for many to participate :3) I wanna see you take a go at it :3 Show me your style! :D

~

~~~

(wow look at me misspelling the word writing on text when I did it fine with my own hands lol)

Now, I know not everyone can draw...

Well never fear! I accept writing as well! ✍️✍️✍️

(hi vivia lol sorry for giving you a cold, at least you have an excuse to read and do nothing now haha x3)

Sickfics are one of the biggest things I live for! Any little drabbles or full fics with more than one chapter are welcome! Again target who you want any fandom you want, but I'll def be super happy if you make a RainCode fic. And even happier if you target my faves as well, but again, anything will do! Just make a cute story about your fave being miserable and being tended to! Trust me, it's super fun!

You can add injury or angst to the scene but I'd like illness to be the main focus of it.

Feel free to post your writing here and tag me or mention my AO3!

If you need a start to your fic, look on my blog for illness prompts! Maybe it can help give you a good start or give some inspiration! (thats why I share 'em :3)

I look forward to anything you try to write!

~

That's about all!! I hope you decide to participate! ✨

Good luck, have fun, and godspeed you future whumpers! 😈

(nah jk XD)

AGAIN THIS IS FOR FUN! NO PRESSURE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO!

[milksuu]

ur aphelios fic w solari priestess reader was soooo good, i can't stop going back to reread it bc i'm eager for pt 2 if you do end up writing one 😭😭 but there's so much potential for this man bc hello ?? enemies to lovers(?uh) ?? i really like the idea that they're on opposite sides bc as a lover of solari n lunari lore, it feels much more taboo. especially considering how scornful the solari people are of the lunari people which is clear in how the reader treats him 😕 a bit unjustified but it's nice that we aren't exactly a blank sheet of paper in this bc ofc we'd still have to abide by our morals and views 🩵🩵 i also wonder what alune thinks of this if she ever found out, would she even in the first place LMAO "i fear your brother nonconned me 😓😨🧟‍♂️" HDHDHDHS whenever there's an aphelios fic alune always pops into my mind afterwards since she's so dear to me, would the reader ever interact w her through aphelios? bisexuals really winning w this champ 😔

LKJSDVGBFLJHSDFVLSH!! omfg thank you for thinking so much about it. im cryiinnngggg!!! and yeah, im totally writing a part two. I'm at 1.8k words right now. sorry I bounce around a lot so i take a while to write lol.

BUT UGH YES. i definitely wanted to do an enemies/lovers kind of feel. (although i think in phels perspective reader's more 'lover' by his terms because well he's pretty unhinged in his perspective. what can we expect from a guy born and raised as a religious assassin who only ever interacts to his sister?? yeah his 'social' skills aren't going to be the best lmfao)

and like you stated anon, them being lunari/solari just adds the extra layers of drama, depth, and juicy plot potential. all in all, quite a banger.

as far as alune goess, I'd say she 100% knew. only because, alune is a Seer that shows aphelios' path, and directs him on missions. basically the moon told alune "yeah this is going to happen" then alune was like "heyyy soo....you're going to have to do this bro" and then ofc phel was somewhat conflicted the whole time but hey FAITH is never questioning and doing what you're told cause it's supposedly 'right'. and he definitely wants the believe it was all for a 'good' reason. Like him and reader are destined lovers since otherwise, why would the moon have him do that instead of just kill her? kinda like getting a gift for always being obedient to his faith (the copium is strong with this one). but yeah, phel made sure the toxin wore off so that his poor sister didn't have to endure that. (but assassinating people is totally fine obvs!)

alune and reader would have some sort of relationship a bit later. reader is technically a priestess, even though a solari one, she'd still be able to have some way to connect to the spirit realm. or reader can feel the ethereal vibrations emanating from him, but not fully understand/hone in alune's presence. but i think slowly over time, readers growing connection with aphelios will have her gradually connected with alune at some point.

and I want to say the moon goddess has a plan as to why that had to be done to reader. not sure how far i'll actually get to reveal it or develop it, since honestly, i had no intention of continuing let alone build any lore (THIS WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE SMUT DAMNIT HAHA) but we'll see.

whew, kinda went on a tangent, but i hope i've given you some good context anon! again, thank you for rereading my fixations and wanting more. as you can see, you've set off my dopamine receptors with this post lmfao. <3

stay tuned for part 2. ;3

[the-jellydex]

The Vancouver Aquarium

Recently, I had the privilege and honour of visiting the Vancouver Aquarium!! It was very nice, and I'd like to give my honest review :)

Jellyfish Exhibit Rating:

Diversity - 7/10 - Only limited to Rhizostomeae and Semaeostomeae jellyfish (no combs or hydrozoans), but they get extra points for showing the rare "Stalked Jellyfish"

Presentation - 7/10 - Most exhibits had more jellyfish per square meter than normal so it was very pretty. One seemed kind of sad though.

Learning - 10/10 - Accurate information paired with engaging visuals, along with dedicated and knowledgeable staff. Here's a shout out to Noah I love him so much 🙏🙏

can we also appreciate how at every opportunity they get, the staff will thank the indigenous nations by name (there are multiple) that have owned and taken care of the land that the aquarium resides in? I respected that a lot haha.

So to start... I believe we entered at an auspicious day (even though it wasn't the weekend, when the jelly touchpool tanks are open)

That's right!! A local school was visiting the aquarium at the same time we were ^-^!! How exciting is that? I felt so much nostalgia haha... I wish I could've done something like this in elementary school ;w;

OK, so going into the aquarium I was already very excited, and seeing this made me gasp !! :>

(unfortunately, I spooked my mother, so um. Yeah)

Unfortunately they 1) Do not currently show the Phacellophora camtschatica in the aquarium and 2) call it the "Fried Egg Jelly" (actually, it's not too big of a deal but I prefer to call it the "Egg Yolk Jelly" since the Mediterranean Jelly resembles a fried egg.

Hey, did you know that the Association of Zoos and Aquariums recently released a jellyfish care guide? I ended up quoting it when I talked to one of the staff, hehe

Now, most of their exhibits are divided by world region- but the jellyfish (as with most exhibits it seems) are grouped into one... except for the Papua Jellyfish, which is the first tank placed in the Tropical Exhibits.

It's verrrry large (larger than any rhizostomid exhibit I've seen) and there are many, many jellyfish! Unfortunately the strong light and deep blue background made it pretty difficult to get good individual pictures (all of mine came out blurry :<), but they were so cute and small.

The jellies often bumped into the ground, and one was swirling around on the bottom, unable to get back into the flow (perhaps it was in-between the two circular currents?). Anyways something told me that this exhibit wasn't as well-looked after as the other ones :<

I did see a couple of really broken ones (sorry for the bad lighting, but here was a jellyfish that had most of its bell ripped up), and it just broke my heart. Most of the jellyfish were in fine condition, though, so I think it's just the normal ripped bells and appendages that you can find in any jellyfish exhibit.

Curiously enough, however, this exhibit shows information cards for three different jellies when in reality there is only one species (The "Spotted Jellyfish") in the tank. I'll explain my theory why later when I get to them.

JELLYFISH HALL!!! There are many glowing sea nettles hanging from the ceiling, along with two life-sized lion's mane jellyfish!! :). The lion's manes also glow in different colours.

Also, if you notice, there's a very large crowd gathered in front of the sea nettle exhibit- and that's because I was INCREDIBLY, INCREDIBLY lucky to stop by RIGHT when they were doing a live jellyfish feeding. I cannot even begin to articulate how fortunate I was to accidentally stumble upon this.

Anyway, here's the obligatory jelly card haha :)

Here is speaker Noah, a 3rd year in his Marine Conservation degree showing us how amazing jellyfish are. I appreciate him a lot he gave me a lot of good information, which I'll just list down here:

The liquid inside of the measuring cup is in fact Jellyfish Food!

Usually, they are fed Artemis sp. naupili (sea monkeys, as he said it, or brine shrimp), but there were some other goodies added into the mix as well- like squid and herring.

This was all mixed in with a bit of gelatin- as sea nettles prefer to eat their food in bigger chunks.

These sea nettles are not fed with moon jellyfish- though the AZA Jellyfish Handbook does recommend to do that since sea nettles are medusivoric, and require jellyfish in their diet to grow properly. Apparently, the gelatin acts as an adequate substitute ^-^!!

Also Noah knows about the Monterey Bay Aquarium let's give him a round of applause ^-^!!! He said i should go there but. Well. I already did :3.

I could've went into more detail about the Cnidocyte explanation, but I'm probably not the best person to be teaching total beginners and children about jellyfish because I'd be way too technical (I was literally the only person in the crowd who was cheering lmao).

Here's a screenshot of the feeding video I took! (I'll upload the full feeding video if there's popular demand for it haha)

Anyways, after that excitement... it was time to look at the rest of the jellies.

This was the sign in front of the moon jelly exhibit. I just thought it was interesting to see what the aquarium defined as "Jellyfish" (this definition can vary from aquarium to aquarium) Here, we can see that the Vancouver Aquarium considers Comb Jellies, Molluscs, and Salps as jellyfish. (this is more inclusive than my own personal definition- which excludes molluscs haha)

There was a bigger tank (that I did not take a full picture of... stupid Donut) that did include the Mediterranean and Australian Spotted jelly. They actually looked... a lot bigger in person than I thought, haha.

Now, I think the reason why these jellies were not roomed with the Papua jellies was because while they were originally a part of the exhibit, the two jellies actually outgrew the tank became too big to room with the small Papua jellies. These were housed in a tank that was about as big (if not bigger) than the Papua jelly tank- and there were not as many jellies per square meter in here.

Still weird that they kept the information cards about the jellies though... I guess it would've been too unsightly to remove?

Ok, I also forgot to take a full view picture of this exhibit but don't be fooled by the pretty jellyfish. This exhibit was kind of... lacking, imo. I can only really describe it with a diagram of sorts.

This is a circular tank, but I'm guessing there were two opposing currents on either side. All of the sea nettles had migrated to the right current, making that half look too crowded and the other side completely empty. It didn't help that when all of the jellyfish were on the very shaded bottom, the entire tank was dark :(.

// Can we just say that them mentioning one of the Japanese names of the jellyfish is AWESOME? I've only seen this on the japanese wikipedia haha- though there was no mention of "Ninjas," only in military warfare in the Sengoku Period by Sanada Nobushige. Well. I'll correct my statement if it ends up being wrong later.

Quick break to visit my hero, Mackenzie Neale :). I'm a big fan of your work!!

Alright, now to visit the Moon jelly exhibit (it was honestly one of the most densely packed tanks I had ever seen- very impressive :>)

I made an instagram reel going over the sexual dimorphism of moon jellies- maybe I'll post it on here if I feel like it haha :3

^^ They have more infographics like this but this is the only one I took a picture of... awe :<.

OK, so with all of the main jellyfish out of the way... now started the hardest part of my journey: Finding the elusive, rare Staurozan (Stalked) jellyfish. These are so rare, apparently they're difficult for even scientists to get their hands on. I absolutely had to see them for myself.

Unfortunately... I kept running around in circles trying to find it (I had asked a staff member earlier where the exhibit was... but I forgot lol. I ended up having to ask two more people. It's tucked away in an unmarked Polar exhibit btw :>!!

Here was the gift shop I ended up visiting, there was a Japanese Sea nettle with a heart on it- awww

Anyways, I promise, after like 20 minutes of searching... I finally found the polar exhibits!!

They had (one) hydrozoan jellyfish here... and it was a picture. An unnamed picture. For the record, it's called the "Battering Ram Jellyfish," according to Lisa-Ann Gershwin. It's a part of the Narcomedusae group, which have similarly positioned tentacles.

And now, in another fit of I did a dumb... I didn't take a picture of the two wall tanks... because the Vancouver Aquarium HAD to be confusing with them for some reason :/

this is the tank on the left! It has the Stalked Jellyfish card......... but the tank itself has NO Stalked Jellyfish...? I had NO idea why and it's driving me mad.

This tank was to the RIGHT of the tank with the card (ie. A TOTALLY SEPARATE TANK), BUT THESE ONES WERE THE ONES THAT HAD STAUROZOA?????... I have no words.

I actually ended up noticing them first because of their weird "firework-like" structure was different from the other corals, but I didn't know if they were actually staurozoa until I saw the card. Anyways, very confusing, but definitely the most magical and rewarding experience you could have in the aquarium. I'll leave out the directions to find this place so if anyone decides to visit the aquarium, they can just look for the staurozoa themselves :>

... and finally, that ends our jelly tour of the Vancouver Aquarium. Before you head home, though, why not pick up a cute little eco-friendly jelly plush on your way out?

She's a beauty, that's for sure!

[maygrantnash]

talking about design choices/inspos + linking some assets below the cut!

i got really into poster making over the last month for my freelance work and i kept saving really cool reference posters on pinterest and i was super excited to make stuff like that but the client didn't like any of the ones i saved and i got sad but then i remembered i have free wil so. weewoo poster time

assets i used for all the posters:

i used paper + scanned texture + film burn sample packs from wave index

i made these 9-1-1 and fox logos and distressed them

1. Hen Begins

i decided to follow the chronological order of the show so hen begins was up first.

pros: i knew the exact kind of poster i wanted to model all of them after and i had a clear vision - i wanted them to look like those noisy brutalist/grunge movie/musician posters, like these:

breakfast club by hozergovia on ig | lady bird by jempg on pinterest | aftersun by justbychris on ig

cons: i was teaching myself how to achieve those effects + i went through many variations because it wasn't looking the way i wanted it to. here are some half-finished variants:

i think the issue w doing this ep first - much like the show - was that i was still experimenting so it ended up being the most basic poster of the lot. i really like where i ended up even though it wasn't looking super grunge; i kinda gave up on the monotone look at that point bc it wasn't working for me (i love colour too much)

also i realised what the colour scheme reminded me of lol

the yellow circle behind hen is a sticker png i picked up from @thepngpixie (x) and the stars are from @pngblog (x)

2. Chimney Begins

gonna #tbh i think this is my favourite one of the lot haha. this is the best begins episode and the second i saw the opening frame i knew what i wanted to look like

i made a version without stars bc i thought it might've been overkill. i went super heavy w the textures for the background and it turned out well, i also love the untextured drip of blood as a nod to him bleeding out (also hello red theory)

overall a solid ass poster i'd say.

the stars are from @pngblog (x)

3. Bobby Begins Again

i wanted this poster to be really be blended more than anything, so i picked screencaps and played with the colouring and gradients till it looked like it was smooth. i'd say this style is much more "classic" in the sense that this is what i'd do for making gifs and it's not necessarily the contemporary poster style i was going for. it felt more timeless than the rest. i liked the idea of keeping the fonts minimal and letting the imagery stand out. this had the most number of usable quotes i could find in the episode and i ended up using them all.

4. Athena Begins

this kind of looks like a magazine cover?? which i don't hate but it doesn't necessarily fit athena's character. i was going for a refined feel so ig i was naturally drawn to what i find fancy (architectural digest, seemingly)

anyways. angela bassett front and centre as she should be. i like this but it's not my fav

5. Eddie Begins

i had made 2 variants (4 actually bc when i saved these the first time i forgot to add ryan guzman's name) bc i wasn't sure i liked how small the strip of photos was in the first one. changing that meant changing the text hierarchy tho which i didn't like

i think this also feels very magazine-esque - i think the fonts are what's throwing me off. they look cool as hell tho.

6. Buck Begins

i intended to make it look like postcards were taped to the bottom of this poster but this specific screencap really reminded me of this poster for the movie one fine morning

i think it's the colours. i got super attached to this concept lol so i modeled the poster after this. i think it's very soft and pretty and i like it a lot :)

star png from @liltingaway (x)

ramble over! <3

9-1-1 Begins episodes as grunge(ish) posters

(I'm @madrasdiaz over on twt)

[fuj0]

Coughs-- Hello my dear pal! How are you? Would you mind.... answering a few questions about your ocs? If not that's fine! :D I hope your -whatever time it is for you- is good!!

What OC would make a grocery list, which would ignore it, and which would be the one who'd have to do the actual shopping?

If you could,,, a list of OC's with dyed hair! How'd they get dyed hair? Do they like it or are they prone to redyeing it?

OC who picks violence in most situations?

Pick 10 OCs of yours... whats their fav. colours, foods/drinks, their current occupation(s), and relationship status?

Annnd lastly, do you have any specific features you've realised you're prone to when designing your characters?

:]

Hello Gale!! :DD Oof to be honest not good, I literally wrote most of the response to this but the goddamned hellsite crushed so now I have to rewrite it all,,,,,,,,pain -w-" But other than that pretty fine!! And sure, I love character trivia <33

Since I have 90 OCs I will just mention a few from all the universes -w-

Makes a list: Alice, Sanders, Lana, Alexander and Sam are all The Adults who provide for their families. Not making a list would be a pretty bad move in their books lol. I also feel like Ann and Zbislav would make lists since they had to be responsible kids. And most of Igniters (demon butlers), especially caretakers like Fred, Kali and Natasha since they usually try to meet the meets of their contract partners!

Doesn't make one: Clain, Runez and Arkarionn are all aliens, so shopping isn't really a concept they get! Except Clain who lives on Earth... but he has a big brain, he'll manage! Pasifer can't be bothered. He usually only ever buys two items, one being a quick snack and the second being some ridiculous kitchen appliance Sanders sent him over to the local store for lol. Azaroth doesn't make his lists OR shopping either. He has a lot of people around to do it for him- afterall he couldn't be bothered with such menial tasks!

Makes but forgets: I feel like that's something Gabe and Vi would do, except Vi would be like "oh well" about it while Gabriel would scream and yell and gnarl about it XD Charmill makes a list but goes offtrack halfway and invents a new Genius Idea that'll stop him from going out for a week. Guess he lives on tea and plants lol. Obi has a problem with keeping to lists so he'd attempt to make one but forget to add half the stuff and end up asking his boyfriend to finish it for him haha,,, 2. Oof this is gonna be so long haha,,, Prepare scrolling fingers

Alice - likes to stay trendy and fresh. Loves her hair a lot, re-dyes often <3

Madrigal - Probably dyed to Feel Something, doesn't bother that much now. re-dyes occasionally though

Devin - thinks bright pink is pretty cheerful :D Re-dyes often.

Aleck - Thinks red makes them look less intimidating. Plus a fashion statement. They like it, re-dyes once a month

Annoyed that his hair didn't match his white ear. No need to re-dye since they're just highlights but he likes it a lot more now

Obi - Dyed in highschool as a sign of rebellion against his parents. Very important to him, but doesn't re-dye them, just lets them grow out.

Kroonie - Only God and Her know why she dyed. Maybe for a cover-up?? Probably re-dyes but nobody's sure.

Masami - Highlighted to look different than her twin. Likes it very much though! Sometimes refreshes it when she has time.

Lillianne (no photo) - haistylist, re-dyes them a HECKING lot.

Megan - Hates her natural blonde but loves the bright pink :D Re-dyes once a month

Stella - Does she dye? Or is this her natural color?? Nobody Knows!

Sophie - Read in a magazine once that highlights are The Trend. Thinks she looks badass >:) Phew! Hope you're still around "x) 3. Violence... Hmm.. I'd say

Zbislav - because he's just a scared, hurt child inside

Charmill - because that's just his way of communication :]

Azaroth - because he's hot and powerful and will not hestitate 4. Alriight, let's go!~

Mac - No fave but seems to dress in green a lot? LOVES wine, currently a pediatric nurse (GOD what a combo with the wine ajfsh), formerly a worshipped deity, married to Yukiatsu and has a daughter <3

Sam - Green all the way!! No favorite food, but probably something light fit and boring like a salad... Currently The Head Captain of the most prominent battalion amongst the Interplanetary Intervention Army (wow what a title..). Also currently dating the main medic Clain, but in the future marries him and they have two kids!

Clain - Finds the concept of a "favorite color" offputting... Favorite hiccusian food is...work in progress, but for human food he loves chocolate! He's the Main Medic for Interplanetary Intervention Army and he's currently dating Sam!

Azaroth - Indigo and gold all the wayy! Probably enjoys fancy, yet not stuffed meals (aka is the most Picky Eater on the planet), presumably with some light alcohol on the side. Currently is a Thief Guild Master and he rules a huge chunk of the continent with an iron fist behind the curtains! Not dating right now, but later on the story he gets together with his servant, Gem.

Yukiatsu - A classy man, enjoys white (but Mac tells him he looks great in black and orange, so he wears those a lot, too!). No favorite food, but enjoys anything his Darling makes for him (Do you sense a pattern, perhaps??? Damn simp). Works as a tattoo artist in his own tattoo parlor (that's set up in his garage. It's completely legal though!!), and he and his husband have a daughter (Vi) :>

Vierra - The Rumored Daughter! Likes black a hecking lot!! Also, unfortunately, enjoys wine a tad too much, thanks to her dad and her butler... But she's working on replacing that habit and currently loves chocolate and mint gum :) Works as a bouncer! In Hell she's a cleaning lady for a while before making her way up to a Hellgate Guard!! Dating a sweet angel girl named Leathiel <3

Charmill - Toxic Green (even more so if it glows and is, actually, dangerous)!! Kind of forced to like tea since he always creates more on accident and has a brewery XD HATES chamomile tea, though. According to him they're a (self-proclaimed) Poison Specialist, but I guess he's more of an alchemist/biochemist? and officially a tea brewer/sommelier! And they're currently single!

Pasifer - Does "whatever combo pisses Zbislav off more" count as a color? Likes all kinds of alcohol as long as it's free and will eat ANYTHING you feed him (beggars can't be choosers, eh?). A conman who pulls off all sorts of stunts, but currently his specialisation are tarot card readings! Also single, but he likes to play around!

Zbislav - ADORES the black-white-red combo (red ESPECIALLY)!! Again, no food favorites, but likes to eat with Sanders. Currently a gang member and a henchman, but would love to leave and live the life of a normal student... Also single, which kinda irritates him haha

Obi - Changes his color preference all the time, but forever devoted to his green hair -w- Also wears lots of pinks for whatever reason. Particularly likes the awfully cheap only-slighly-failed baked goods from a nearby bakery. Especially stuff with whipped cream... An awfully skilled detective (both official and freelance), but has a cover job as a nightclub dancer. Currently dating my friend's OC- Renwick!! 5. Oh boy am I!! I noticed I make a LOT of freckled characters. Also, long eyelashes ad half-lidded eyes are a MUUST. I also have a tendency of making all my fantasy OCs overly elegant?? Oh, and they all seem to follow the fashion trends I like on accident! Combat boots, round sunglasses, hats, turtlenecks, colorful shirts draping over one shoulder - all in my personal closet 😎😎

[I wanted to individually link all the characters but Tumblr said I'm reaching the limit so feel free to just find all of them here if you're confused...Sorry...] Thanks so much for asking this by the way!! It was great fun because I could interact with my little guys from my brain and also I Love Talking. Hope you have a great day bro <33

[seokmins]

Surprise, it's me! The healing you've sent my way did its job, I think. Was suddenly in the mood to do things, go out, get shitfaced with friends (doing a GoSe drinking game, of all things). All thanks to your magical powers! 🥳 How are you, though?

I just noticed that your username underwent a change after all! 😁 It's the holiday spirit, it gets the best of us 😘

I am like "miss you" every time I hear Baekhyun's voice in any track, solo, EXO oder SuperM, so I absolutely get it! And Taemin also needs to come back asap, that precious human being. I mean SHINee overall is doing fine in his absence, as expected, because they are SHINee, duh, but there is still something missing. I want them all free and together again.

Who my other two ults are, you ask? Firstly there is Jay B from GOT7 and secondly -- and that might thrill you (or not, idk) -- it's DK. It's a longer story how he got in there, but idk if you are interested. But yeah, it's those three and I think I've chosen wisely (unless Baekhyun or Seokmin give me secondhand embarrassment, but I will suffer through that with fondness). Who are your ults?

I've heard that there is new stuff in the works for KARD. They just did a tour, I think, and they've got a new management/CEO, so it's understandable that they haven't had a cb yet. They probably had to settle in first.

Ooof, that list of songs you sent. All those songs really float my boat. So I guess you are more into the uptempo stuff than the quieter, ballad-sy songs?

Surprise!!

So good to hear you're doing well <3 that sounds like a lot of fun and I'm super glad hehe! I'm doing okay ~ hanging in there 💪🏻

yes!! i decided to be a bit festive for the holidays haha but I'll go back to normal afterwards <3

Omg yes, i saw smth on spotify about baekyun so that's super exciting, when i have more time I'll have to look into it 👁️ and omg ik it's been ages since we had taemin back let alone shinee altogether freed ahah, like you said they can sincerely hold their own but we need them together to be complete!!

mr jay b is such good taste 🫦 i think his vocal color is just so distinct and lovely to listen to and I've loved a lot of his solo releases!! also omg seokmin hehe i love that and ofc if you want to share i'd be interested in listening <3 ajskdjf yes we must all suffer from secondhand embarrassment unfortunately 😭 which is okay as long as they are not getting into any terrible scandals or doing horrific things on the side 🙇🏻‍♀️

as for my ults ajksdjf i'm terrible i usually go for vocal and/or subunits but like at this point I've lost track of mostly everyone 😭 which i feel bad for but it's so hard for me to stay updated on everyone esp w/ how much content svt gives us but i'd say like booseoksoon, 3racha, and a few from ateez/nct/monsta x are in there too </3

i'm glad to hear that about kard! I wish them nothing but success and good luck, i know they are pretty generally loved outside of south Korea so i hope to see them tour more places near me, that would be nice! but i hope the transition isn't too rough.

ooh i'm glad!! technically yeah, if i'm actively listening to music i prefer upbeat things esp cuz i usually am doing a lot of active work around the house or outside. but i do love ballads i just don't listen to them as often 😭 more so if I'm like driving somewhere long or just chilling haha.

[mr-nobodys-stuff]

Meeting Deku

----------

Description: you just moved from America to Japan for work. Moving was a bit tougher than you expected. A shy green haired boy offers to help. You meet his mom and spend a little time with them. Becoming friends with them is a must have now.

----------

The long flight from America to Japan is definitely a tiresome trek. Not so much physical, but more mental. The stress and nervousness of your new permanent home setting in.

You've been to Japan a few times in the past. So it's not anything to be too worried about, but still.

Musutafu, Japan. That's where you chose to live. The nicest place you could find without going too expensive.

Once the plane landed you did the usual. Walking off the plane with your carry on, fetching the rest of your luggage, finding a taxi, and finally reaching the apartments.

There is where you met the landlords, a nice little old couple.

"Now dearie, if there's anything you need, don't be afraid to ask. You have our numbers right?" The woman encloses your hand in both of hers.

"Yes, I do. I'll be fine and thank you for the place," you give her a soft smile, nodding your head.

"Perfect! Well, we better be on our way now. Got some grocery shopping to do," she says, leaving after giving her own grin.

You turned to the apartments and huffed, hyping yourself up. Time to carry your bags up to the room on the second floor. Highs weren't your favorite thing, but the second wasn't too high, thankfully.

You draped your bag around your back as you dragged the large luggage up the steps.

"Excuse me, miss!" A voice says from behind. Quickening footsteps accompanying it.

You turn to see a green haired man hurrying over to you.

"Would you like a hand?" Without giving you time to respond he pulls up the heavy bag, effortlessly.

"What floor?" He asks.

"The second," you say, leading the way. He follows you all the way to the designated floor and sets down the bag on its wheels.

"I'm Y/N by the way," you say, putting a hand on your chest.

"Izuku Midoriya, but you can just call me Deku though," he waves a hand, dismissively.

"Ok, cool!" you nod. "Do you happen to live here in the apartments?"

"Y-yeah I do! Just on the other side actually. I live with my mom, haha," he rubs the back of his neck.

"Oh, I'm just moving in and I live by myself."

"Really? Do you need any help?" He asks, grinning a little.

"Not presently. I have to wait on my things to get here first. They should get here in a few days and you don't have to help if you really don't-," you shake your head and wave your hands, partially in defense.

"Nonsense! I'd love to help! M-maybe you'd like to stop by my place to meet my mom? She'd be happy to meet our new neighbor, haha," he blushes slightly.

"Yeah, but maybe tomorrow? I'm pretty tired from the flight over. I haven't eaten all day," your stomach suddenly feeling extremely empty at the thought of food.

"Oh right! Sorry, I forgot!" He laughs nervously. "W-well if you really wanted to, you could stop by for, uh, dinner? My mom usually makes more than we can eat."

"That would be nice," you grin, feeling all warm inside. "Which apartment?"

"34"

"Ok, I'll go put this away and I'll head over," you nod, still smiling.

"O-ok!" He stutters.

"See you in a few!" You wave over your shoulder as you make you way to your apartment.

Midoriya runs to his apartment, red faced, heart racing, nerves through the roof.

"Mom!" He falls as he makes it to the kitchen.

"Izuku! What's wrong!?" Inko asks, eyes wide as her son peels his face from the floor.

"I asked a girl to come over for dinner! She's just moving in on the other side of the building!" He starts sputtering out different sentences.

Inko smiles and laughs.

"Izuku, please calm down. What's her name?" She pats his shoulder.

"Y/N," he says, trying to calm himself.

"Good thing I made enough food and hopefully she likes Udon," Inko sighs.

Izuku paces and talks the walls off. He's never brought a girl back to his house before. But something about you made him ask.

Inko cleaned a bit more and got out another bowl and chopsticks.

A knock on the door almost scared Izuku out of his boxers. He did trip and fall to his butt though.

"I'll get it!" Izuku jumps up and hurries to the door. He swings it open to see you.

You had changed from your over comfortable clothing to a bit of a nicer outfit, but nothing too over the top.

"O-oh, Y/N," he says, a blush sprawling across his features.

You smile and nod.

"Hi Deku! Sorry it took me a bit longer, I thought I'd change real quick," your own cheeks dust with a pale pink.

"Haha, yeah, you look good. Er, I-it looks good! Y-your outfit looks good I mean!" He stutters.

"Izuku! Let her in!" Inko calls from the kitchen. Her tone sounding playful.

"O-oh right! Come in," he moves so she could enter.

"Take my shoes off?" You ask, glancing down.

"Y-yeah," he nods, watching you take your shoes off.

"Sorry, I'm from America. I've never been in a Japanese home before so I wasn't sure," you follow him to the living room.

"Oh don't worry about that."

"Ah hello! You must Y/N. I'm Inko Midoriya," she bows.

"It's nice to meet you," you nod to her.

"Likewise," she smiles with her big, beautiful, green eyes. "Izuku tells me you're the new neighbor. On the other side of the building of course."

"Yeah, I am. Just got here earlier today," you say.

"Well, let's eat! We can chat during or after and I hope you like Udon. There wasn't much of a heads up," Inko chuckles.

"Oh whatever is fine with me. I've never had it before though," you sit at the dining table with Deku. He sets a bowl down in front of you and himself. The food definitely smelled delicious. It looked straight out of one of those food magazines at the doctor's office.

"Um, one question," you pick up the chopsticks. "How does one...," you look the pair up and down, trying to copy Izuku in holding them.

"You don't know how to use chopsticks?" Izuku asks.

"Not really. I just usually use a fork," you say, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Hold it like this," he molds your hand and fits the sticks perfectly. "I'm sure it'll take a few times to get it down."

"Thank you," you smile, trying to lift the noodles with the sticks. They slip right off. Now it was your ultimate mission to get those damned things in your mouth.

With a slightly hunched back, concentration keyed on the noodles, and tongue sticking out slightly of course.

Inko smiles at her son, making him burst into a blushing mess. He puts a hand on his face and turns downwards.

"So Y/N, where are you from?" Inko asks, swirling noodles around in her own bowl.

"America, I've been to Japan a few times. Mostly for work purposes," you say, finally getting a singular noodle. "Ah-ha!" You stuff it in your mouth.

"And what do you do for work?"

"I'm an artist," you swallow the noodle. "This is really good."

"I'm glad you like it!" She smiles and nods.

"W-what kind of, uh, artist?" Izuku asks nervously.

"It's mostly digital art, but I do draw and paint pretty often though."

"That sounds like fun. Maybe you could teach me a few things here and there. I always thought painting would be nice to try sometime," Inko smiles giddily.

"Yeah, I would love to. Any time is fine with me. Just hit me up and we can have some fun with it," you grin and chuckle lightly. "So what do the two of you do around here?"

"Izuku here is a hero actually," Inko kicks him lightly.

"Oh, yeah! So if anything ever happens, you can count on me to help!" He says with a big smile.

"Cool! I bet that's stressful," you stuff your face with more noodles.

"I-it can be at some points. I aim to be the number one hero! Just like All Might!"

You look at his determined face. A smile creeps it's way to your features at the scene. You turn your attention back to the half empty bowl now.

An hour or two later, you finally called it quits. The comfort of alone time and sleep was calling you. Even though your things weren't going to be there for a few days, there are still a few things to do first.

You bid goodnight to Inko. She thanks you for your time and lets you go.

Izuku insists on walking your back to your place. Not like you don't mind either so you let him.

"Thanks again for having me over," you say as you open your door.

"U-uh yeah! Sure thing! It was nice having you over," he blushes and smiles.

"Did I ever give you my number?" You ask, recalling whether you did or not.

"You want my number?!" He jumps back slightly, bursting into red.

"Of course I do," you grab a piece of paper and write your number on it. Something tells you he's just gonna continue being a blushing mess for a while, meaning you're not gonna get it out of him.

"Here's mine. Now I'm gonna go get some sleep. Text me whenever you feel like it, okay?" You pat him on the shoulder and smile. "Goodnight Deku.

"Uh! Yeah! Goodnight Y/N!" He smiles from ear to ear and nods.

You shut the door and look through the peephole. On the other side you can see him looking at the piece of paper, still smiling. He huffs, making that determined face again. Finally he runs back in the direction of his apartment.

You take a deep breath and slide down the door. A blush and a smile softens your features at the thought of his smile.

Let's just say it plagued your thoughts until you fell asleep.

[corvuscorona]

YESSS!!! ONE OF THE things that really charms&amazes me about SoP's writing is the way it sort of takes the. Memory of. when games had more simplistic stories / delivered those stories in a more simplistic way, and plays with it. every Thing that happens in the intro portion especially is quick & efficient to the point of comedy, which tbh would have been pretty good on its own; when I saw it for the first time I was totally prepared to be like 'haha yeah' and let that be the end of it, but it takes it a step further by tying that hyperefficiency into NOT ONLY the "hey remember when games had way fewer sentences in them haha" thing BUT ALSO THE time loop stuff.

It feels to me like they had a lot of fun finding ways to tie the 2 sort of halves of the premise together like that ("prequel to ff1" + "the actual plot we have decided that will entail") & Sarah's role is SO TOTALLY ANOTHER ONE OF THESE; you're so right. Her role is simple so they made her role SIMPLE and expanded upon how Weird that is JUST ENOUGH to give us interesting facets to look at & starting points to analyze & Philosophize like this :3

ikwym about the JPN vs ENG, altho I'd argue that (example) the way that scene w/ the foot-tapping is cut + the context that nobody expresses any amount of "what is this guy's problem" @ Jack in it get the message across just fine, even though they really didn't do anything in Particular to emphasize it w/ the localization or voice direction (which are pretty neutral (in terms of tone). I am biased in favor of this approach, tbh, but that's me). At the end of the day tho I really do feel like I find beauty anytime I find ambiguity with this game... They really did commit to the perspective and lens & those decisions manifest in So Many Ways

Much like I wish we had a local Jed Expert to write all the Jed Fic I can't write because I'm too busy writing Astos Fic I also think this source material could sustain a Lot of Sarah Fanworks that are mostly not occurring at this time; you're so right there IS a lot to elaborate on with her.. I am already minorly obsessed w/ the concept of her and Astos hanging out though. They like DEFINITELY got along, right?? I feel like she'd get a lot out of just listening to him go on about whatever. & They both think Jack is soooooo cool. There's promising hangout material there imo.

(P.S. pls see the humor in you being like "oh god I'm 5 days late to this post" & me like lifting my face off my desk Weeks later to respond lol... it's Blogging it's ok. It IS great to read everyone else's thoughts + this was always intended to be an open invitation. everybody can get to my posts late forever if they want. time isn't real. anyway THANK YOU FOR writing so many words omg. I enjoyed reading this in january + also right now.)

"You Never Forget Your First Love."

The other day, a mutual (hi! you know who you are I think probably hello hi! thank you for the Posting Impetus!) said something that made me curious (for, like, the 80th time, actually; lol. I Have Thoughts) about something: what's the split on people who subscribe to the "Stranger of Paradise probably intended for us to believe that Jack & Sarah were in love" mindset, vs. not? In general, but ESPECIALLY around these parts.

I genuinely didn't read it that way myself (& I do NOT normally give media (general) this much credit, but the writing in this game is sublime; I had no choice but to fully engage Scholar Mode on it), + I think it's interesting that SPECIFICALLY any of my fellow tumblr people / AO3-heads / Gay People Online / etc. seem to have. (I expect nothing from people who haven't been basting themselves in the same online sub-subcultures as me for over a decade. They're allowed to write wrong things on wikis, and have done so already; it's whatever.)

I wanna metapost badly again, so let's go. Join me. No poll. If you have an opinion on this, I'm looking directly into your eyes and beckoning you towards your own keyboard + also the reblog button / comment section, like a weird ghost. What did you think when you first played the game?? What do you think right now? What are you about to think after you have read a bunch of my words. Tell Me. I Need To Know This.

Spoilers for, idk, everything? Today we will use everything we've got to talk about Princess Sarah.

1. As a Narrative Element

This game makes a point of referring to Sarah as things like "a symbol of hope and peace" as often as possible, & when it isn't doing that she's usually in the role of An Object Or Device Of Some Kind, anyway. She's important because she's capable of holding light and dark in balance & SOMEONE'S gotta hold onto this dark crystal for safekeeping, and also we're gonna need to upset that balance on purpose later. There's that conversation in the Wicked Arbor about whether the Strangers would "choose" her (as opposed to "treasure") as the "reward" for succeeding in their mission[1], & there's the one in the Sunken Shrine where Jed asks Jack what he thinks of her and Jack says that he doesn't care about her as a person[2] BUT that protecting her is mission-critical (lol), too.

Sarah's death is metaphorically charged. It's the point of no return: the dark crystal breaks, the balance of light & dark gets extremely ruined, & Literally All The Darkness In Cornelia converges in one place (Fool's Missive XXVII). That's the payoff for the "symbol of hope and peace" motif, and communicating this idea that "the metaphorical light of hope just For Real Died, Like Catastrophically Imploded, No Take-Backs" feels to me like it was the highest priority here. Second-highest goes to "Jack had way more humanity before, but he set it aside on purpose and is actively in the middle of losing the rest of it." "Sort of." "I'm not getting into what counts as humanity or doesn't because if I did we would be here forever."

Basically, I'm saying that the tidiest read on the situation is "Jack despairs because Sarah dying means in a very literary and final way that everything is ruined forever, which doesn't necessarily have anything to do with, like, Love (romantic)." I don't think the text of the game is particularly signaling that Love (romantic) is involved, and I think that if it meant to, it would be more obvious about it. You could bundle "an romance" into the "humanity" thing if you wanted to, but I'm not inclined to, based on some additional list items that you can read below this one.

[1] The fact that Neon ALSO says she feels bad for her for being thought of in this way only reinforces my conviction that the game is pointing at Sarah & yelling "REMEMBER THAT SHE IS MOSTLY A SYMBOL!", tbh. Who wants to go point out how freaky the mechanics of Being An Royalty are w/ me and the boys??

[2] I will give the Wiki WrongPosters this: I can totally see this as some kind of irony thing, given that he's still missing like a fucktillion of his memories when he says it. However! As mentioned above, I have other reasons not to read it as evidence that he was ever, like, romantically interested in her.

2. As a Sheltered Youth™

We don't have a TON of information to work with RE: Sarah as, like, a person, but here are a couple of hard facts to start with: she's 19 (per the data book, but she'd have to be somewhere in the 18-to-early-20's age range regardless or her whole deal wouldn't really make much sense, imo. She's a baby...!), and she's royalty. I think this ties into her utility as a walking metaphor, among other things; she's archetypically young, fresh, & idealistic. I'd call her naïve but the game obviously isn't interested in portraying it as a weakness, so positive words only; why not.

You could argue that people look to her as a symbol of hope because she hasn't directly experienced enough strife to exhibit hopelessness or fear in response to bad news in the abstract. I find it interesting that before Jack, like, knocks the wind out of her & tells Sophia to take her outside so she can see for herself how bad things have gotten at the end of the game, she says that her duty is to die with her people if she has to, & it doesn't even seem to occur to her that she could lead at least some of them away to safety...? When she changes her mind, she still talks about herself as a symbol before she ever uses the word "leader". She sees HERSELF in terms of symbols and metaphors, and takes action based on her designated role As One Of Those. Not very practical.

There's also the dialogue you can have with the queen the first time you're allowed to run around in the throne room at the beginning of the game, where she asks Jack to smile in front of her daughters (NOT just Mia; daughters, plural). Even if she only means "dude can you be polite please," the fact that this is The thing she has to say to Jack is telling. Is it going to upset your 19-year-old daughter to see that the Guy Whose Job It Is To Kill Monsters looks serious? Why do you think this? Does your 19-year-old daughter understand how serious the situation is, generally speaking? Do you not WANT her to for some reason? Boats don't work anymore unless a weird elf messes with them first. Not thinking very hard about the implications of this is something a sheltered person does.

Residual time loop un-memories aside, a young woman in this situation is so obviously going to have a huge crush on Jack Garland no matter what. He Is So Cool, first of all, & he's also Different from the adult men she gets to see on an everyday basis (family, guards, rando townspeople[3]...). It's not like the political social scene could POSSIBLY be thriving in this world, either; it all seems to be one kingdom we're dealing with and they're kind of busy with the external threat of being Under Fucking Attack By Monsters. Does she even get fun treats like "handsome visiting dignitaries" & what-have-you? The game doesn't present us with any potential options, here. Jack is mysterious, he has special-boy Warrior of Light status, his one job & apparent life's purpose is protecting the kingdom she loves, he's pretty nice to her (even in later cycles he at least goes out of his way to be polite!), & additionally, he's shredded. THIS makes sense to me.

There's a Q&A in the data book that has something to say about JACK as a symbol & what that has to do with this whole thing but we'll get there. We'll get there.

[3] Tangent: what's up with how Cornelia's entire adult male population appears to consist of aging queens. Why did they only make models that look Like That for the NPCs? It's awesome but I have 1 quastion

3. JACK JUMPSCARE !

I'm not about to say that he's just humoring her, or anything, but please humor ME for one second & put yourself in Jack's shoes. Not the default shoes; we can have more fun than that. Maybe the Banded Boots. Blurple ones? Shaped like a cartoon would wear them? Big spikes on the back for no reason? I love those things. Anyway, you're Jack. You're working for literally the king, & the work means Everything to you for reasons you can't even necessarily explain except to say that it JUST does. The king's eldest daughter (very young adult; Never Been Outdoors; a little overly-sociable but nice enough & what do you expect from a princess, anyway) has imprinted on you like a duckling for whatever reason. You would be nice to this person, yes? You'd be patient with her while you're in town. You have Brutal Murders to be doing, but not until, like, 2 days from now, or whatever; you're sharing space with her in some capacity in the meantime & it's in your best interests to keep her happy. (You probably even enjoy doing this, if you're Jack of a Way Earlier Cycle; I'm in no way ruling that out. Sharing your music collection with an enthusiastic Baby Adult? That's fun. I think he was probably having fun. Okay, you can step out of the fun purple shoes if you want; the Humoring Me Minute has concluded; thanks.)

Also, @2000sanimeop and I think that if Jack felt that way about her Astos would have been a little More Something about how much it was gonna suck for him when she died. In Fool's Missive XXVII he uses the word "painful," but that's about it. He doesn't even bring it up in XXV, which is the one where he says he's curious about whether she'd survive being turned into a fiend (side note: Astos fucking rocks. Why did he write that down?? I love him). & Hey SPEAKING OF ASTOS,

4. I wouldn't put Jackstos on a wiki, either.

The writing in Stranger of Paradise, SERIOUSLY, WITHOUT EXAGGERATION, is some of the best I've seen in literally anything ever. It suits not just its medium but also its sort of Place in History Relative to Other Video Games & the things it chose to DO with that medium & that niche INSANELY well. It is CUSTOMIZED. It's SO INTENTIONAL. I can't get too far into this or we'll be here all day, but the essence of what I want to say here is: there are relatively few facts presented to us by this game, compared to the implications we can go about drawing from those facts & other, external sources of context.

Sarah calls Jack her first love; that's a fact. No facts are presented to us that REALLY say much one way or the other[4] about what Jack thinks of this, himself; "fucktillion memories missing" Jack says he doesn't care, but he's missing a fucktillion of his memories, and DLC2 Jack has a set of dialogue options (hi Anne the Malboro I love you Anne the Malboro) that can point either way depending on what the player chooses, which is kind of nothing, on balance. As the audience, we can (should!) draw whatever conclusion we want about it, but none of those conclusions are text.

[4] I WILL GET TO THE DATA BOOK IN ONE SECOND. HOLD ON.

And, okay, please let me level with you. Let's be on the same page. Jack & Astos had some kind of thing going on, imo, OBVIOUSLY, but I want to be CLEAR and I want to get CREDIT for the things I'M bringing to the table to help generate this conviction. I drew that conclusion & I read that reading based on subtext, context, personal history, personal preference, & sheer gay zest for life. It is also, emphatically, NOT TEXT.

Astos refers to Jack with the ol' "...friend" in Fool's Missive XXI. He calls him "my Jack" in Fool's Missive XXXI. Canonically, textually, he has some big fucking COMPLICATED fucking feelings about this man. These are facts. If you're playing this game as Some Guy, I can see how you could potentially absorb these facts & still pay them much less regard[5] than I did & continue to. My argument here is that god I wish I lived in a world where Some Guy could extend the same courtesy to me and not treat Sarah's textual affection for Jack as something that necessarily indicates Some Kind Of Reciprocal Romantic Whatever, Definitely, Obviously, Of Course.

[5] Longer Tangent: I have been informed that the Some Guys of the world are currently pretty good at Recognizing a character that behaves in a way that's Pretty Gay, but tend to stop there, possibly for the combined reasons that A. they're not very familiar with a lot of the the ways gay relationships often work (you know, soul resonance. mutual recognition. sharing a brain etc.) and B. the Object Of Affection is usually the player character and they subconsciously shy away from thinking of a Guy They're Supposed To Identify With as gay. This is practically a lead-in to an entire separate post I could make, so I'll leave it at that, lol.

The writing is too good for that kind of assumption! I'M SERIOUS!! It's mind-blowingly subtle & endlessly fascinating to hold up to the light & view from every possible angle, and "Jack & Sarah were in love" + "Jack & Astos were in love" are BOTH ANGLES. I'm personally very very interested in giving the text credit for that. I think it's impressive. I think it's really, really cool, and I think it was on purpose. Speaking of which,

5. Word of God agrees with me, btw

This is from the Q&A section on page 156 of the Confidential File. The translations below are my own (I think they're straightforward enough, but lmk if you know more than me & I'm actually being stupid in there somewhere. Alt text has the JPN, if you want to copypaste it or something). Someone asked:

Why is it that you established Garland as someone Sarah has a romantic interest in?

The answer is from Daisuke Inoue (director, one of 3; the other 2 are from Team Ninja; he's from Square Enix):

That was because, from a narrative standpoint, we wanted Sarah to be the kind of person who holds onto hope. You can imagine that she saw the "hope" to save the world in Jack, a potential Warrior of Light. Sarah is seen by her people as a symbol of a bright future, but if there were nobody to give her hope, that might destabilize her emotionally. As for whether she felt genuine love for Jack, or just mistook her feelings of admiration towards him for "first love," we'll leave that to your interpretation.

The first time I read this, I thought the question was implying the aforementioned Reciprocal Something, but on closer inspection that doesn't even seem to be true! "思い人" seems to indicate a directional relationship; as in, the question assumes that Jack is an object of affection to Sarah, but assumes nothing about what Jack thinks.

Also, the answer uses the word "初恋" (hatsukoi), which is a very established Concept as far as "first love" goes, but in that one cutscene, Sarah says "初めての恋" (hajimete no koi), which is. Different, but I couldn't tell you how, lol. It's Not The Exact Same Phrase, but I'm not sure whether it's meaningfully different in this context. If I had to guess, I'd say that IF ANYTHING it could be a way of saying "first love" without invoking the cultural CONSTRUCT of First Love (as much)? But it's whatever. The localization holds up. All sources show that Sarah had Feelings about Jack, and all sources CONSPICUOUSLY neglect to mention Jack's feelings about her.

It was on purpose. This is my license to be as annoying as I want for one second here. I am right. All the other writing in this game is notably subtle, efficient, intentional, and skilled, AND ALSO, WHEN do you ever see anyone write such a richly beautiful, mostly-subtextual relationship between two men, which can easily be read as a romantic thing, and NOT explicitly canonize a very possible romantic relationship between at least one of those men and a woman, like not even in an interview or anything. What the fuck, man.

I'm putting away the Respectable Scholar Hat now. This is so funny. The person asking this question didn't EVEN go as far as assuming Jack & Sarah had any kind of Actual Romance going on, & the answer STILL dials it back to "she might have been conflating her feelings about Jack AS A SYMBOL with actual affection, also. We'll let you decide : ) ". This game is everything ever.

[winterywitch]

I just want to say that I really admire the depth you put into your OC's and your confidence in talking about them! I'd like to learn more about them, but I'm on mobile and it isn't letting me search the tags, so... are there any W@tchtower Grotto characters you haven't talked much about that you'd want to talk about?

oh!! ;-; gee thank you.......................

uhhhhhhh gee idk why but it feels like i dont have an actual comprehensive post on who/what nana actually is bc most of my friends know him very well already? so here’s that

hes like... early 30s?? in terms of appearance/maturity, hes the godking of the country in midnight

nana is uh... certainly a rebel at his core thats one way to put it, a lot of core things about him for better or for worse challenge the status quo. he thinks this is a good thing 100% of the time, like he’s some kind of radical rebelling against an oppressive norm on every single norm he challenges. (its not)

he is RIDICULOUSLY people-smart, hes likely an empath and could easily be called a genius when it comes to reading people and understanding how people tend to work.

if he were a dnd character he’d be a sorceror, he casts from charisma not intelligence [though he is certainly NOT lacking in that department]

hes definitely considered the leader of his little commune of kings [involving desiderius, hachi and kyuun], those three tend to defer to him and seek him out for advice [well. they mostly Used to now its just hachi that does that last part]

he sees himself as a teacher and guide to people, which isnt inaccurate necessarily!

hes very good to his people, his country as a whole is doing pretty well financially, there’s a vibe there of everyone taking care of one another! not to mention the fact that its lovely visually

he’s right about most things and he’s comfortably aware of the fact that he’s right about most things. but hes open to being corrected! he cant possibly be right about everything ALL the time!! he just has to consider you an authority on what youre talking about, which is something he very rarely considers other people to be, or he might just ignore your correction. but sometimes he wont, which makes you feel kinda silly for pointing out his tendency for hypocrisy! how confusing. it’s hard to keep up with this one.

he, like all of his colleagues minus desiderius, thinks he is the only Good King while all the others are complete messes who dont know what theyre doing or are just flat out bad people. but like, yknow, its a fucked up dysfunctional family! that’s totally normal, right??1/11

something about him just makes you think “theres a guy who knows his shit,” its probably his sturdy [outward] confidence, his [appearance of] wisdom, his [very real] intelligence and his long list of supporters that make you think that about him

his hair is weird as shit! there are ‘stars’ in it that glow, not BLINDINGLY bright but i mean yknow, they do glow, and where theyre embedded in his hair theres increased physical sensitivity. pulling on this guy’s hair fucking HURTS, even petting it can be uncomfortable if youre not really really careful. not to mention a fucking haircut, good lord (haha)

his parents were kind of like... very emotionally shallow, they were the sorts of people to be like Oh I’m Fine ^_^ at everything, and in subtle and hard-to-detect ways, they would punish nana for showing emotion of any kind (for example, laughing at him when he would cry at sad things as a child). because of this, he is now very open about his emotions and embraces them as something he should listen to and follow rather than only relying on cold logic as his parents tried to have him do. (its a lot more sinister in practice than it sounds, because yeah most of the time it is innocent like this but at the same time, he takes his own feelings VERY seriously and if you hurt them, even if it’s just by having boundaries, he will identify you as someone mistreating him or even abusing him depending on how close you are]

[heres where we get into The Shit, big tw for abuse, csa/pedophilia and “marital” sexual abuse/assault]

his closest friend and advisor arya kurosawa has been his best friend since they were both teenagers. they met when arya was 14 and nana was 17 [in terms of appearance/maturity are what those ages refer to, they were both immortal] and they got along very well.

of course by very well i mean on top of getting along very well, nana has ALWAYS had an inherent, base-level disrespect for arya’s boundaries. it’s been there since they were teens, and it mostly manifested in nana pressuring arya to do [mostly innocent - but the pressure and coercion made them not so innocent] things he was scared to do.

they were inseparable pretty much ever since they met and VERY, very in love with each other

they definitely were a romantic item by the time nana inherited the throne from his mother, and the age gap was definitely concerning but it only grew more concerning as nana’s mental/appearance age rose because he was growing up emotionally and psychologically and arya’s... stagnated.

when nana was in his early 30s so to speak, arya was stuck at 14-15 or so. and like... they didnt really see anything weird about that, they figured “well we both met when we were kids so its not like nana is a pedophile or anything, why question something so good?”

to someone who didnt know better wrt age gaps in romantic relationships and pedophilia, the relationship between those two would have looked completely normal and healthy. there was certainly an appearance of mutual respect, support, love and commitment

nana could only treat a 14-15 year old so much like his equal. to be totally honest, even since they were teenagers, nana treated arya like his inferior, like a student that needed to be taught, and that dynamic only grew/got worse as nana aged mentally.

but at the same time arya also taught nana so many things! see? nana wasn’t some condescending prick! obviously everything is fine. there were a lot of ways sometimes in which ARYA was the adult and nana was the child ^_^ so it’s equal, right?

arya certainly didnt know any better, nana was the love of his life and that was all there was to it. he knew [because of nana] that any discrimination they might face due to their ages in this relationship was simply unfounded, cruel bigotry from a species of essentially cavemen who were afraid of fire. he knew he was progressive for his time, in a couple decades probably everyone else would come to their senses too!

long story short, one day arya very quickly, almost violently realized EXACTLY everything that was wrong. nana’s condescending behavior had come to a head and someone arya considered a playful rival had forced him, very painfully, to face the truth of what this relationship was: abuse from a man who should know better, taking advantage of a boy who didnt.

arya couldnt exactly love nana after realizing this. and it really fucking sucked. he really wanted to go back to the way things used to be, he wanted to “undiscover” what he’d discovered, but there was no way back and he felt so broken and dirty and ungrateful and bratty and selfish for suddenly feeling this way.

nana on the other hand noticed arya very suddenly averse to being touched or held or even looked at. for a while, he was very understanding about this - what that playful rival did was essentially cast a spell and at first he thought arya was just sick or physically not well or something, and that he’d get better soon.

he didn’t.

nana didn’t know what to do. suddenly arya was neglecting him, acting like he was terrified of nana. he’d never been like this before, what happened? it’s incredibly painful and confusing, losing the love of your life like that; one day you’re everything to them, and the next they’re flinching every time you raise your hand around them. nana had never hit him or abused him verbally... in fact, it was nana who HELPED ARYA gain the strength and courage he needed to become independent from his emotionally abusive parents. so why was nana suddenly the bad guy? he had no idea what happened, why, how to fix it, or anything like that.

eventually he snapped, unable to take being deprived of love and attention like this, so he just took whatever he wanted, physically, not caring what arya thought of it.

he knew it was wrong. he knew he’d definitely crossed the line into objectively unforgivable actions. but he was almost too afraid to stop and relinquish this power over arya, because then he had to A.) lose arya, and B.) be held accountable for his actions. both two very terrifying things he saw no personal gain in.

that went on for a long time, until nana sort of... slowly realized he was feeling weaker and weaker, more prone to physical weariness dizziness, severe headaches and nausea, and he didn’t put 2 and 2 together until it was too late.

arya had figured out how to start poisoning him and getting away with it.

by that point, nana realized not just what was happening and why, but also that he unquestionably, factually deserved this pain and much, much more. that realization was too much for him, it sort of broke him psychologically for a very long time, leaving him completely helpless to whatever revenge arya decided to take on him

[it was all physical and psychological torture, but arya was certain NEVER to stoop to his level and sexually abuse nana. he couldnt even think of sleeping with nana “consensually” anyway, it made him horribly sick to even consider]

eventually after a long-ass time of this, arya just got sick of looking at nana and couldn’t even be around him anymore without feeling absolutely god-awful, so he just abandoned nana, leaving him to fester in his broken body and mind

and y’know, stuff happens after that, but thats all there really is to the most prominent phase of nana’s development in THIS story. i also play him in his phase of development after that last bullet point [roughly 200 years later], where he’s fucked up in all kinds of ways and totally deserving it, but also trying to... not really redeem himself or anything like that, he knows that’s not really a thing, but rather to make himself useful to good people who want to do the right thing, in a dnd campaign

nana goes through a SHIT TON of changes, to the point that each phase of his development has his own individual profile on toyhou.se, he’s become a Big Trauma Coping Character for me and somewhat an experiment in redemption arcs, seeing what exactly should happen and how to make “redemption” arcs seem not cheap or forced

here’s the one i talked about in this post though

http://toyhou.se/335049.nana-of-the-stars