#i'd also need to get the bookcase (and the books) and the chest of drawers (and their contents) outta there to fit a desk
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I don't think job recruiters even hear or understand themselves sometimes. This man really just rejected me outright because I don't have a car and I'm like.. you realise this is exactly why I work from home right now right? (something he was also skeptical about) Like how the fuck am I supposed to be able to afford a car if no one will give me a chance and try employing me? Of course I'm working from home! At least they're fucking giving me money
#i don't even WANT to work from home anymore because i feel guilty every second that i'm not working#i just constantly feel like i'm not doing enough and like i'm wasting my time#and it's because i'm IN my work environment all the time. i don't have a home office or anything#i just work on my personal laptop in my living room#i've been thinking about turning the box room into a home office but the wifi in there is shit#and it's money. it all comes back to money#like sure i could buy a desk and an orthopaedic chair and a fucking stress ball and a usb stick for my wifi#but how many fucking hours of work is that going to cost me?? like#and like honestly that room needs to be completely gutted. when the roof was falling down it rained INTO there#the wallpaper is coming off the walls; the carpet has been in like 2 other rooms previously and it NEEDS to come up#i'd also need to get the bookcase (and the books) and the chest of drawers (and their contents) outta there to fit a desk#which honestly isn't even the hard part. like i could use the chest of drawers in my bedroom#and i've got storage boxes for everything so it can either be donated or go in the loft#it's just like.. it's a lot. it's a lot!#and meanwhile i have a master's degree and i've just been rejected to work at a petrol station because this man doesn't trust me#to be able to convince someone to transport me 5 miles on a regular basis#and i'm just like this is why people kill themselves. i'm not going to DO it. not for him and not for anybody. but i understand it#every single day i think about throwing myself on the mercy of my old boss. just being like pleeeeeeease#i'll make coffee for minimum wage. i'll wrestle with the soup turrine#i just don't want to spend all my savings so that i can spend the rest of my life working in the box room#personal
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