#i'M BASING THIS OFF WHAT WE TALKED ABT & I THOUGHT IT'D BE SUCH A GOOD OPENING FOR THE STARTER

[lunaetis]

▸▸ [ @apocryphis || aventurine & yinyue || starter call ]

─「银月」─  " you're lying. " the words cut through the silence in the most casual way possible. it was like the ROVER was speaking about the weather, mentioning something she considered as fact while her expression did not change in the slightest. there was no ounce of aggression within the way she spoke, either. no hint of judgement, nor hostility. she wasn't offended about being lied to, she simply was pointing out that she knew he wasn't speaking the truth. golden hues were kept on him steadily, as though a small part of her was curious as to why he had to lie. everyone has their own reasons, she supposed. she had no right to judge, thus, she did not. the waves around this person was ... peculiar, however. how intriguing for someone's wavelength to shift so drastically within the span of few seconds.

                " apologies, should i not have said that ? " realizing that it might have come off as rude or offensive, she quickly offered a sincere apology. that wasn't a kind of FIRST IMPRESSION she wanted to make to a complete stranger, especially when she found herself in unfamiliar territory. the noirette didn't break her eye-contact with the man as she placed a hand on her chest.

                " my name is yinyue. lost would be the most accurate way of describing my current situation. "

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary71

11/21-22/2023

tuesday - wednesday

listening to arab on radar, made cookies, read some julia kristeva.

not as much as i would have liked. her book called black sun, about misery. she says melancholia a lot, but something feels distantly embarrassing about saying that. saying i am melancholic. i am, though. it's so obvious it's painful, which is why it's a bit of an embarrassing word to say. i'm excited for her chapter about beauty, in the book. i want to read more of her stuff, so i dled some pdfs, might check that out tonight. anyway:

today i woke up annoyed, because the thing that got me out of bed was being told about how my friends got confused, because of the one guy in there who i find really frustrating, because he is making my friend depressed, gently, or not gently, but it's not aggressively, i guess. he was like, it's next week right, and other guys were like, is it?? and then they were like, well maybe it should be. my friend's gf was like, well, you should all try to come by tomorrow! which got a lot of them to be like: okay. the only one who seems like a maybe at this point, is the annoying guy. i am still expecting him to show up, though. he is saying he's going to be cooking w/ his family for thursday, but who knows, he's not a good cook, he cooked for us on his birthday (a kindness, certainly (strangely, he talked to me extensively that day, that day only, about how much he wanted everyone to be together always, all the time, and how much pleasure he got from getting everyone together "like this"(lends credence to the idea that he really wants to be the center of whatever group he's in))) and when he cooked he burnt all the meat, overdone, a friend said it was quote unquote dog-food. so i think his family would actually be happy to lose his hands.

i made 31 cookies, 33 technically but i ate 1.5, gf ate the other half (too full).

i'm still looking forward to tomorrow. i'm going to bitch abt the annoying guy with my friend's gf, i'm sure she'd be happy to complain a little, since he tried to fuck her plans up, or not tried, he just kind of almost did, by stumbling in the dark. everyone was like, making me so mad, when they were like, maybe we really should do it next week. it felt like a bunch of men deciding that when women make plans that they aren't central to, they can freely ignore them and decide what would make for better plan-making. one said that it'd be easier to plan if it were next week, but this has been a plan for about a week, already, it feels like at least. maybe less? it's just casual, though. i guess i gave myself something easy to do, with the cookies, compared to other things people might cook.

anyway i want to post some dolls and then sleep:

@_godog_ hijikata haruna

i wonder if her name is her actual name or if a chosen name based on tatsumi hijikata, the butoh dancer/ pioneer. it would fit, aesthetically, the dolls are right on the edge of corpselike, i would like to put special attention to the recent works with dolls that have these nacre eyes. they're so dead, and so like cataracts, but still intone something beyond or before death, not lifeless, just beside the void. it gives voice to the experience/ thought that one speaks it, or is a vessel for that nothing to pass through, a perfection written with lightness, i also quite like what must be the earlier dolls with extremely off kilter / askew eyes, also near death, but also near the to the erotic experience, also dissociative, distant, it reminds me of being places and doing things i didn't like but also had no way to imagine excusing myself from, so i was just like, okay.

also, all the hands, they are between searching and articulating pain. arthritic and curious. (and the toes on the one with exposed feet, really special detail work across all the digits)

either way, they are really beautiful to me, i quite love her work.

~

freak's circus

some of these skew a bit too trevor brown for me to want to post here (unfortunately i like some of his stuff, because i guess i look at it and have the stupid, wow, girl with surgery equipment looking crazy, i love that, response (he is so clearly a gross perv but i guess i excuse it in certain artists and not others (that's fine though because i don't think i'm ever excusing pedophilia like i feel like i'd have to w/ trevor brown (i don't think these dolls are pedophilic, though, so)))) anyways, i'm shocked i never saw or heard of these dolls anywhere, they're quite cute, and pretty. they just kind of lean on the whole creepy cute thing (all these dolls do) but these ones are much more willingly the kind of creepy cute pop art that can either become very bad or be very good, i'm fond of it. it's like so near bad taste it's kind of lovely/intoxicating, like the weird amputee dolls, it's an externalization of a cluster of feelings or ways you can feel like you are seen in such aggressive manner, i guess if you are one to read it that way, it's compelling no matter what. another reason i guess i'm so stricken by it, is the tension between perfection/the pristine, wanting terrible things to happen, and real malady, subtle bruising, illness, wanting to be tortured, being tortured actually, and needing to be beautiful, and that impossibility, all projected onto a toy, also remains compelling for me, in particular the conjoined twin dolls connect. the fish stomach one is simply very stunning to me, really really beautiful, and also silly and simple, it's stepping the line of good taste in certain ways, it does not have any restraint, none of these do, all excess all the time, everything at full volume, subtlety isn't absent, it's revived from a corpse though, killed and brought back by all the noise, it exists in the (dis)harmonies and nested thoughts happening as you are blasted by that image, sneaking many things in, dirty fantasies and the worry over the fantasies all the same.

ofc the mari shimizu feeling thing w/ the anatomical venus belly cutout w/ something religious feeling placed inside instead of organs (the sacred is the bodily??? gaspppp) is cute. i can't tell if it bothers me when anyone but her does that. i'm in favor, i suppose, because it is such a pretty/cute idea, to me.

~

@sekisyoku_metro

these ones really caught my eye, as where the last creator leans very hard into the kitsch/pop art area, and the first feels so heavenly almost, corpses stuck in a threeway of transcending, rotting, and still living, returning to themselves, or having never left, these really are the most corpselike and grotesque without being actually ugly. the first doll here, has a stomach as rough as the moon, it resembles io to me, the body is the color of a corpse left in a sulfuric lake, the face is that of an angry god. the noh mask features are quite insane, these dolls are maybe the most physical i've seen, or they immediately strike me as physical, heavy. the one missing her arm, she is less impersonable in her face, but she still remains strange, uncanny. i also quite love the desaturated pink ribbon as a mote of viscera. somehow more effective than anything grosser, it feels, it gives a sensation in my arms, of the tendons quieting after an execution.

~

anyhow, uhh, what else did i do, today. i tried redoing vox for another song, i think it's almost there, need to go back in and do a couple lines probably, i want some parts that are like girlier sounding i guess, no better way to put that. and then find a way to mix the vocals a little better, maybe just low shelf some stuff out. it can be quieter too, listening to arab on radar, it's not like the stuff i want to be like is really like, upfront vocally.

another song i think it'd be good to keep in mind:

i think maybe next super short song i do i should let myself use a synth sound that's really obvious, instead of these guitar thingies, just give myself like, a break, with mixing. i think it'd be easier.. . but who knows. i love to #fuckeverythingup and #dotoomuch (earlier in the blog, when i talk about subtlety revived, life poured into its mouth by noise i was also talking about something i think i do and #lovesomuch)

anyway i have to sleep soon. i get so much more talkative here when i ready anyfuckingthing. it's crazy. i have to make myself do it a bit every day. it made me write a little too. nothing substantial (substantial right now has to be me going in and working on the structure and slotting things together for the story) but doing anything is good. it keeps my mind working.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!

[hotcat37]

this is probably super obscure but jroc and julian hcs? either platonic or romantic, i just think their friendship is overlooked

I'm actually writing a 5+1 fic of this pairing as we are speaking lol I love me some obscure TPB ships. Anyways I'll put in both romantic and platonic hcs! ^_^

-this is actually based off of a rlly cute blooper I found but J-Roc is the only person in the park who can make Julian laugh (like an actual amused laugh, not a lill smile)

-Julian gently smacking the back of J-Roc's head when he's acting ridiculous

-J-Roc is always worried abt embarrassing himself in front of Julian but Julian's so used to these situations already that he doesn't even flinch whenever he catches J-Roc doing something strange

-T finding it super sus that J-Roc is always asking Julian to star in one of his greasy movies because yeah it'd make good money but also why do u seem so overly excited bro???

-J-Roc being personally offended when Julian says he doesn't really listen to music and demanding that the two of them find out just what his taste in music is

-Julian stealing plastic covers for J-Roc to sell his CDs <3

-J-Roc wags out his tongue at Julian sometimes and he has this super long cartoony tongue so Julian has to look away every time to prevent from laughing

-Julian has memorized certain weird vocabulary J-Roc always uses so he doesn't constantly have to ask T for translations

-"knowm'sayin, Jules?"

-"No, I don't know what you're sayin"

-Julian finds the bickering between J-Roc and his mom endlessly amusing

-J-Roc singing a rap about a mystery person for a Valentines Day concert but wait hold that thought why is he describing Julian????

-Julian being unusually dumb as a rock and brushing J-Roc's flirts and longing stares off as just him being J-Roc

-he's not admitting to it, but Julian actually rlly likes it that J-Roc specifically always calls him Jules. It makes their relationship feel even closer with that detail

-Julian coming over to help take care of J-Roc when he's sick (he's actually here for a business scam, but might as well take the poor guy's temperature while he's at it, right?)

-J-Roc learns to pick up on some signs if he's too loud around Julian and adjusts his volume (which is quite hard cuz the man is a walking talking boombox)

-J-Roc trying to be romantic in subtle ways but Julian being oblivious to it

-"hey man, ya wanna come over and listen to the new Snoop Dog CD? ;]"

-"nah thanks man, I've got some weed to sell"

"💔"

[everyothermouse]

Hey hey heeyyy

May I ask what the FUCK happened there ^v^

My heart?? Burst thru my skin and jumped out the window

HAHAHA YEAH YEAH,,, I'm gonna put it under the cut cus I KNOW I'm gonna be rambly as hell lmaoo

ok BASICALLY eliana and Harley finally really talked for a bit and connected their shirley dilemmas, and long story short they decided they were gonna go on an adventure into The Dark (the magical nightwalker based land that the forest turns into at night- very dangerous for eclipsians because they can be drained of their energy to the point of death (by moon plants or nightwalkers), less scary for daywalkers who can't get leeched as well.)

Nina tags along to support her dumbass's who think a fae is their bestie (although she's also curious abt Harleys whole thing) but also to have a 2 to 1 daywalker to eclipsian ratio, for better safety. But now we sidebar, because you know who else other than Harley are eclipsians who shouldn't be going into The Dark? Emerson and Grayson. Do you know which curious, adventurous, nightwalker lovin little shits are absolutely gonna try to sneakily follow along when they see Harley going into The Dark? ... yeah you can guess

But the problem with emi and graci is not just that they're eclipsians, it's that they're bastards. They've been setting traps for nightwalkers for months. They think they haven't been working, but oh, they have, and they're fucking ANNOYING AS HELL, but it's mostly fae getting trapped and said fae can call their fae circle buddies to come free them, still really annoying process. So MAN do the fae hate these children, they annoying af, and it's hella embarrassing to be duped by a 10 year old, especially when u can't get them back because stupid satyr and elves are watching over them all the damn time 😭 so yeah it was a lucky day for one special fae to see the bane of the fae circle just walking around The Dark, fae have a LOT more power in the dark so they were damn ripe for the picking B) [note: shirley isn't part of the fae circle, shirley has been part of Thomas's territory since like a week after he died and ghosts are VERY territorial, so there wasn't much room for recruiting lil fae shirley cus ghosts r pissbabies and won't let u on their property.]

So just to fuck with em and maybe get a new fae recruit if these gremlins happened to be elves by now they searched into their spirits just to pick up something to work with to really freak em out, and they found just the thing B) turning someone is usually done through blinding them with light, being either strong emotional force, sunlight, or moonlight, so forcing forward a very painful memory of loss in two people who barely remembered it as they were now was a pretty good way to uh, enlighten them as you will. So :) they tried to let them into the 'memory web' by presenting as the lost figure, shirley, and to lure the two in and painfully force flood in all the memories.

By this point the trio on they quest had realized the twins were there, but thought it'd be fine, they just have to find either Daniel's house or a daywalker guide to get the children home, but the fae had already set their mark. Harley was able to cover Emerson eyes to pull him away, but Grayson was standing a few feet away, a few feet closer, and no one could come nearer to him thanks to how repellent and upsetting the form was to the others outside of its target (especially Harley and Eliana, it's like someone wearing a horribly fitting skinsuit of their shSunrise.From there they split up:

Eliana forced herself away, only so she could come and take out the fae from behind with her axe (fae did not die, it's false form just wore off), but Grayson had already begun transformation- as soon as the fae was gone, he turned and flew off the scene, completely delirious and desperate to escape the burning light he saw all around them and the pounding pain in his head. Eliana set out on her way with her axe to try and find him, resolving that she could find shirley another day, but for now the other 3 needed to get back to town and she needed to find

After Nina left with Emerson, Harley still held on to finding shirley- this had been making his life hell for months and he was POSITIVE now that they were real, and that they NEEDED to find them. Harley wouldn't come back to camp until the next day, with all of his sibling in one place for the first time in years, but with Emerson and Grayson turned and refusing to let go of eachother, charlie pissed at both Harley and the existence of this new sibling, and shirley very guilty and concerned and also kind of a total mess from finally having their life back in some way.

Nina took Emerson to run back to town, but Emerson fought the whole way- before they could get back he pulled himself off her and ran back into the woods, before spotting his brother up in the highest tree in the forest- he climbed and climbed a lot trying to reach him, and nearing the top on the verge of passing out he underwent his turning from a human (yeah, been a couple months, they've developed into their human form by this point) into a demon, out of his desperation under the boiling sunrise. Nina alerted the camp of the missing child, who then set out now that The Dark was closed again to try and find the boys, or what was left of them.

SORRY THAT WAS A LOT OF READING I JUST DONT WANT TO MAKE U WAIT EVEN LONGER FOR ME TO TRY QND WITTLE THIS DOWN 😭 HOPE U ENJOY THE LORE,, EMI AND GRACI ARE BOTH MOSTLY FINE BTW