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canyouhearthelight · 2 years ago

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The Miys, Ch. 222

Sorting out actual new followers from bots has become.... very time consuming. You can’t see me, but I am pinching my nose right now. I love giving readers shout-outs, and the nasty little buggers are making it a challenge.

(That said, please be on the lookout for a post from @ areasontobreathe, my main blog, regarding fighting back against the bots. I’ll be sharing it here, but want to make sure the interactions don’t get mixed up.)

So, after much digging, reader shout outs this week go to: @asters-veil, @wings-of-indigo, @nao-eragon, @ann-aha, @lil-dabbler, and a special shout out to @dierotenixe, who is by no means a new follower but who I appreciate very much!

Also, as always, thank you to @baelpenrose for your beta-readership and help with the day to days. Huge huge help!

“This is frustrating,” Hannah sighed, gesturing towards the image projected above the table. “When is Parvati coming back?”

“When she’s ready,” I repeated for the sixth time that shift.

“And not a moment before, I should hope,” Alistair sniffed. “And if I feel that she’s been pressured to come back earlier than that, I will send her home and box each of you upside the heads. None of you take care of yourselves.”

My eyes nearly rolled out of my head. “I’ve been this way longer than you’ve known me,” I retorted.

“But there was no need to teach it to them!” he mock-cried, gesturing at Hannah.

She tried to hide a smile behind her hand. “Not to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m fairly sure I accepted the mentorship because I care for others. I certainly didn’t just learn it on the job.” Turning back to the projected map, she groaned again, dropping her hand. “This I did, though, and it’s still eluding me.”

Stepping around my desk, I moved to sit beside her. “Let’s take a look. What’s up?”

“I’m trying to balance currently-large families with soon-to-be-large families. Some of these spaces are fine for several adults, but not once children are added to the mix. Add storage areas, workspaces, and classrooms, and it just - “ she slowly stretched her hands apart and made a whoosh noise. “It just blows up.”

“Got it,”I nodded. “You’re forgetting one key factor.”

“There’s more!?”

“Less, Hannah,” I emphasized. “Less.”

“No, I accounted for everything,” she insisted.

“Hannah.” I set my hand on hers and gently shook it. “There won’t be any children for five years. People can move quarters as needed once that starts happening.”

Alistair sat across from us and pivoted the map. “Huynh will need to confirm, but it’s likely that we can expand some spaces. Will need to, more likely.” He glanced at me, questioning.

“He and Xio have been making noises about needing to at least smooth some walls out,” I confessed. Reaching with both hands, I zoomed and adjusted until I found one of the caves they had evaluated. “Look here. The cave is stable if these scans are accurate - which we believe they are since this one doesn’t vary between any of the scans. But the surfaces are very jagged. They think they can smooth it out, make some more space, and use the debris for construction material in other areas. There’s hundreds of spaces like these. Once the engineers have eyes on, we’ll know for sure.”

Hannah stood and leaned in, squinting. “Nosy thing. How do you find all this out?”

“Conor’s lead on the project,” I murmured. “He and Maverick go on for hours about it every night, like it’s a competitive sport or something.”

She slapped my shoulder. “And you didn’t think to get any prospective maps?”

“Ow!” I laughed, rubbing the spot. “They don’t have any yet! How dare you think I didn’t ask!”

“I’m not apologizing,” she insisted primly. “You still could have told me something sooner. I’ve been struggling with this for over a week.”

“You needed distraction,” I insisted. “We’ve all been worried about Parvati, and now we know she’s fine and coming back eventually. She even told me to tell all of you for her, to get it out of the way. So… not as much distraction needed. Instead, you need to focus.”

“I hate it when you’re devious,” she muttered, calling up her datapad to make notes.

“Devious, but right.”

“That’s even worse.”

I smirked and looked back at the map. Something looked wrong. After adjusting and turning it, then confirming it was oriented correctly, I pointed to it and turned to Hannah, darting eyes between her and Alistair. “Are we certain this is oriented correctly?”

Alistair nodded. “Crust, core, To, From, all oriented correctly.”

“There is no thermal mapping?”

So slowly that I swear I could hear her neck creaking, Hannah turned to face me, wide-eyed. “Thermal… mapping?”

“Yes? Where the heat from the surface and the hydrothermal vents are? Don’t want to assign someone to live in the bath.”

When she stared at me in panic and confusion, I glanced at Alistair. No recognition at all. “You have got to be shitting me,” I groaned. “You’ve been doing this with the thermal mapping off?”

The information seemed to have finally hooked into their minds, as Hannah dropped her head and growled in frustration. “You mean I have to start over completely?”

“I doubt it?” I offered gently. I pulled up my datapad, made sure the most recent scans were being used, then started adjusting the projection. Blues, greens, oranges, and reds filled the network of caves. After a couple more adjustments, springs and aquifers were overlaid. “There.”

Peeking up at the map, Hannah steeled herself and started cross checking caverns. Only a dozen or so caverns needed to be entirely vacated, while a few needed to be adjusted so that currently-larger families were in more appropriate quarters.

“There,” she said firmly after several minutes. “That’s much easier.” Dismissing it all, she leaned back and shoved her hair out of her face. “Probably best if I put it down for the rest of the day and come back fresh tomorrow. Trying to do this while frustrated isn’t going to get me anywhere.”

“Accurate,” I agreed. “What’s next on the agenda?”

It was Alistair’s turn to check his notes. “Updating work assignments has already been assigned to Tyche. Suggested locations of public works is part of the housing assignments… somehow. I assume that makes sense to Sophia.” Scrolling and mumbling to himself, he eventually stopped the list abruptly. “Decommissioning of the quiet rooms?”

Puffing out my cheeks, I blew an overwhelmed breath. “As close to last as we can manage,” I advised. “And I would like to keep the materials, take them with us. So we should do a full inventory of each one, to start, and see what can come with and what can’t.”

“We’ll need new lights in most,” Alistair observed offhand. “Only a handful have been converted over to Miss Harper’s bio-bulbs.”

“We have them,” Hannah clarified for him. “They were placed in storage as soon as we came out of relativistic space, since we would just have to take them down and relocate them six months after installation, anyway.”

“Good to know.”

“I want Sam and Conor consulted on who should help with relocating the plants in those rooms,” I continued. “Apparently they are very delicate, and I’ve been forbidden to do anything but pet them gently.”

“Duly noted,” Hannah let me know. “And you’d rather we consult with Conor and Sam than with, say, Grey? Technically, botany falls under their purview.”

“And they will refer us to Samuel, who will consult Mister MacMaoilir,” Alistair pointed out. “Unorthodox as it seems, it’s much shorter. Councilor Hodenson’s suggestion, actually.”

“Grey got very huffy and asked if we were idiots,” I whispered loudly to Hannah. “I know you are on good terms with them, please ask them going forward rather than perpetually stealing ten minutes of my time at a go. I am sure it occurred to you.”

“Ooo, very snippy,” she giggled. “Pillows and the rest, I think Sophia and I can pack.”

“And Alice, and Maverick,” I confirmed. “Lazybones that they are.”

Alistair rapped firmly on the table. “Neither of you are fooling anyone, calling those two lazy.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Arthur is my brother, not you. You don’t have to defend my partners from me.”

“I don’t have any brothers,” Hannah snorted. “Unless you count Derek as a brother-in-law.”

“I do.” Turning back to Alistair, I pushed down my habitual need to tease him. “That’s twice today that you’ve been very defensive of the people who work in this office. What is going on?” He opened his mouth, clearly about to bluster and object, so I held my hand up and turned my face away. “Don’t deny it. First you were salty about the fact that none of us take care of ourselves in the way you wish we would, and now you are making sure we know our partners pass muster. What is going on?”

Consternation clouded his face for a moment before he stood and started tapping his jawline with one hand. “I never had a family,” he blurted out. “And when I started reporting to this office, the sheer abandon with which Sophia bandied about the term was appalling. Just… Inconsiderate, uncouth. As though family were trinkets to be collected.”

“That explains why you hated Arthur so much,” I murmured.

“No, that was simply because the man is insufferable,” Alistair corrected, deadpan. “Nonetheless, over the years… Very simply, if they weren’t so open about the fact that their shared history goes back a full lifetime, I would never know that Tyche was the only biological family Sophia had on this Ark. And I am still unconvinced that Miss Harper is not playing a prank on me to hide the fact that she is the third Reid.”

“You yourself pointed out that I’m not a good liar,” I reminded him. “So did Miys.”

“Hence why I consider the fact it could be true,” he admitted. “But now, finding myself… enveloped in this appalling but genuine bastardization of family…”

“You want to be part of it,” Hannah finished. “Not just watch.”

He sighed. “Unfortunately. It’s… tenacious. Insidious, even.”

Several deep breaths enabled me to keep from laughing at his very genuine show of vulnerability. “So, you’re saying that you like us. You really do like us.”

Another scowl, though this one included a hint of a smile, and he shook his finger at us. “I will deny it until my dying breath.”

<<Prev Masterlist Next>>

#the miys #found family #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #apocalypse #post apocalypse #post post apocalypse #aliens #humans are space fae #hfy #haw #earth is space australia #original science fiction #original fiction #original sci fi #my writing

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hiddenonyx · 1 year ago

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*attempting to do something on the app, heaven be merciful*

Eyo, admin Onyx here - welcome the little side project, blog, thing, that is…this? I’ve been making some small Obey Me headcannons/drabbles for myself and some friends for a little bit now and decided to share them! This blog will probably be a hot mess (I never learned how to use tumblr so please be patient with my boomer ass here).

Some things to note before going forward:

This blog is 18+ - this blog is not for children. I personally swear a lot, there will be heavy topics, and yes, there may be smut. Please proceed with caution (and children shoo). I will do my best to mark things accordingly.

There will be headcannons and some AU work - while I may acknowledge cannon or even go off of cannon, sometimes the cannon is just wrong, okay? You don’t have to agree with everything.

There will be spoilers! For everything! The main game, Nightbringer, events, etc. While I will do my best to mark spoilers, keep in mind they may pop up.

There will likely be minor spelling and grammar errors! While I do my best to edit and check my work, sometimes stuff slips through the cracks.

———

In regards to request-able content:

One can ask for headcannons or reactions to certain scenarios. I’ll write (or at least attempt to) almost anything, currently the only hard no is anything related to suicide.

You can also ask my personal MC’s or OC’s response to things as well as the cannon characters.

Patience. I’m a full time college student taking too many credits, so it might take me a hot minute to get to things (I also only got so many spoons ya’ll).

———

Links (they’re not pretty - I’ll fix them on desktop eventually):

The Master List

Sort By Character

———

Aanndd I think that’s all for now? See ya around!

#admin post: onyx #welcome post #obey me blog #obey me headcannon blog

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blood-and-poetry · 2 years ago

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I dont at all think you intended it this way (and you don't at all need to publicly respond to this ask), but the post you recently reblogged from midnightssea contains a lot of gateway-TERF ideology (setting up men as inherently/naturally/biologically oppressors and women as a inherently/naturally/biologically oppressed class; drawing false equivalences; presenting this argument in hard absolutes with language like, "if you believe this, you're not really a feminist"). Often--not always! But often--this kind of mild, measured, not obviously TERF-y feminist discourse is used as a reasonable gateway to attract smart, compassionate, thoughtful people to agree with some base tenets of this ideology and ultimately encourage sympathy to more radical claims. Again, I'm not saying any of this to publicly call you out! That post just contains a few dog whistles and I want to make sure that you can hear them.

I’ve been scrolling through my blog for minutes to figure out which damn post you mean only to figure out that I reblogged that on my main @librinaut and not here. I feel kinda pressured to answer this, which is stupid in itself but I will post this to my feel-good blog even though I don’t like discourse here. This is meant in the kindest way possible, I am just not very good at not sounding passive aggressive. First of all, because it seems to be so important on tumblr to check every OP we reblog from lol, as you can see when you click on the original post, midnightssea specifially dislikes transphobia and tagged that post accordingly. Secondly, I have been following her for quite some time and she knows exactly what she is talking about when she is addressing feminist issues. I have a background in sociology and I have read my very fair share of theory so I might be in an ok position to judge that. I am not naive, I am educated in this matter and I know exactly what I am talking about or agreeing to. Nothing what she says has a hidden meaning and everything she says is correct. Now that’s out of the way: I think it’s incredibly heart breaking how basic feminist theory gets called a “dog whistle” or a “gateway” as if we are talking about a dangerous ideology here. Again, I am educated in those things and I hate how on tumblr or twitter terms like that are thrown around without any background or meaning. You seem to already have an issue with what OP directly said. Direct meaning isn’t a dogwhistle. I can guarantee you that OP dislikes transphobes, so there isn’t even a hidden meaning behind what you already disagree with. If neo-nazis (people who actually use dogwhistles especially in real life public settings) were using dogwhistles like that a lot of people in law enforcement etc would have much easier jobs. So no, dog whistles don’t work like that. In fact I have yet to see an actual dog whistle when tumblr calls one out. What OP talked about is basic knowledge, proven by statistics and historic records over and over again. If facts in regards to feminism are “problematic” then we are heading for some wild times the next decades. I also don’t quite grasp how what she wrote has anything to do with trans people. I heavily dislike how we are using terms such as “transphobia” “dog whistle” etc to describe the most basic grounds of feminism. Also painting it as if trans people are somehow all inherently opposed to feminism or the fight against patriachal structures. Which in turn at least my trans friends would find quite insulting. This is such a great example of how tumblr shoots itself in the seemingly progressive foot. In the sense of “Hitler was a vegetarian, let’s cancel animal activism” we are cancelling truly progressive, useful terminology and facts because some people who are deemed problematic are also using them alongside things we don’t like. Ultimately damaging progress in the name of owning whoever we want to own. I’m seeing this in a lot of instances, not just with this example. This is not meant in a mean or condescending way but seriously, without a personal moral compass all of us are in danger of falling for blind ideology and hollow buzzwords. I love when people disagree with me because it makes me question my own opinion and gives me an opportunity to expand or change it. But just talking about how something is problematic because it uses certain words isn’t an opinion I can argue against or expand my own knowledge with. It’s like a cardboard cut out of an opinion and I know I will only argue against buzzwords instead of against true arguments. If you are interested in discourse or theory or want to know where I come from: I base my current socipolitical ideological framework roughly around Engels “The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State”, which gives a great overview of material thinking in regards to class analysis even though I am not agreeing with him on everything. But it’s more about HOW to think and not WHAT to think. It gives some good food for thought regarding feminist class analysis in a capitalist framework though. For data and statistics I recommend “invisible women” by Caroline Criado-Perez and the Women’s Atlas (there are new ones every few year I think?). It’s mainly just numbers and you can form your own opinion based on that. A lot of times there are pdfs of these books floating around somewhere. And lastly: This and my main blog focus on feminist issues and just... on women and my attraction to women. Under “mp” on this blog (blood-and-poetry) you can find some of my posts about TV shows and characters that will paint a pretty clear picture on what my personal views are. If you feel uncomfortable with that (which is fair. I have some strong opinions) you can of course unfollow me. Again not meant in an “ugh go away stupid anon” way but in a “maybe we just don’t have anything valuable to contribute to each others life” way. Despite all of this I am thankful for your kind tone and your honest concern! In turn, I am showing some friendly concern and I hope you can read it as such. Take care anon

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jenna--ortega · 2 years ago

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Hi there! I have never gotten around to make a gif tutorial because there are plenty of good ones out there and I suck at explaining things. Back when I basically use my side blog (@marvelsaos) as my main, I didn’t get that many questions regarding gif making, I presume because many people who followed me there weren’t gif makers. But this year, I finally come back to my real main blog and started posting more gifs over here. This blog is where I mostly follow gif makers and is mostly followed by gif makers. I have gotten a lot more ask on how to achieve certain things in my gifs, most notably my recent Winnie The Pooh set. And this is why I decided to make this post. This is by no means a tutorial, just a post sharing my giffing journey and the things I do in gif making that might be of your interest.

‼️Tons of rambling below. Text, image & gif heavy. Proceed with caution‼️

Table of Contents

Introduction

The Basics Everything about making a simple gif from start to finish

How to optimize your giffing process

The more advanced stuff? “Recolouring” & rotoscoping in After Effects

Tutorials mentioned in this post

Acknowledgement

Feel free to jump to any section you find useful. Most of the ramblings are in the introduction.

1. Introduction

i. How I started You thought that was the intro?! I’m the kind of person who someone would know for a decade without hearing me say a word, and when I finally spoke (usually about stuff that I’m passionate about) I just go on and on and on and it shocks people to no end. I’ve been on tumblr 10 years now as some of you might know I’m doing my 10 year celebration, but I didn’t start giffing until about 7 years ago. And I just realised I have never properly introduced myself. Hi! My name’s Winnie and my username across all social media is Ms_Stanatic. Before I started giffing, my main fangirling platform was IG, and boy I’ve got sooooo many accounts I don’t even remember all of them, the bigger ones were mofy, ouat & aos related, and these days I’m giffing all of my old favs for old time sakes. If you happened to know me back then, drop by and say hi. It probably felt like I drop off the face of the earth when I quit IG. The show that got me started on giffing was, as some of you might know, Agents of SHIELD. @marvelsaos was my “main” blog for the first 6+ years of my giffing journey. Now thinking back it was because I finally got my first laptop when I got into uni and didn’t have to make edits on my android phones anymore. But at the time, all I wanted to do was to capture Melinda May’s eye rolls and actions and static images just weren’t doing it for me anymore. And that’s how I embarked on the journey of gif making.

ii. Tools/ Softwares I used I had a Macbook air back then, and finding a cracked photoshop for mac was kinda hard, so I had to settle with GIMP. Without the GAP plugin may I add because I do not know how to install it till this day, so it was just pure nightmare. Making gif in the beginning was the most tedious thing I ever did, I’ll explain a bit more later on. The giffing community felt very different back then. I don’t know if it’s because I wasn’t aware or because I wasn’t in it. I felt like there wasn’t as many giffing tutorials on this site, and all I kept seeing was people sharing their psds. It might have been useful if I had photoshop but I didn’t. So the idea was that you can just open up the psd files and drag the adjustment layers onto the image stacks that compose of your gif, and the adjustment layers would affect all the layers beneath it. Not with GIMP though. In GIMP, the adjustment layer(s) only affect the single layer right underneath it. You heard me right. At that time the gif size limit on tumblr was 2mb, a gif I made is usually 20-30 frames/ layers. So I had to duplicate the adjustment layers 20-30 times, them move them right above each image layer. And if I don’t like how it looks, I had to do it all over again. This is slowly turning into a rant but seriously thinking about it gives me headaches. Also, did I mention I didn’t even read up on tutorials and stuff, I basically just googled everything I needed, how to screencap, import it into GIMP, crop & resize, how to use curve, then lastly how to export. No sharpening, no nothing. I didn’t even learn about recolouring like less than 2 years ago (my AoS peeps know which post I’m talking about 😉). This went on for about a year or two, then uni got busy and my life basically went downhill. Somehow, AoS pulled me out of that deep dark hole and get me back on my feet again also because I finally graduated but I’d like to think it’s my love for tv that saved me. I got a bit more time on my hand, I decided to go back to giffing and this time I was determined to get GAP installed on GIMP and have it working. But alas I have failed once again. It was around that time I found out photoshop’s older versions like cs5 was free to download, so I got that instead and finally begin giffing with photoshop.

Moral of the story: Try your best to get photoshop for giffing. It’ll save you so much headache.

And my story didn’t end there. While I was using cs5, I think many people have switch to photoshop cc which has the timeline function for things like smart sharpen (which was a major topic back then) and keyframes (which is what I heard people talking all about these days). Even without timeline, photoshop is definitely a step up from GIMP personally and I managed with a workaround on the smart sharpen function thanks to Julie (@doramilaje). Side note, all the gif makers (beginners & experienced alike) I’ve talked to are all such amazing people. They put so much energy into this craft and are more than happy to talk to you about it when asked. So don’t be afraid, just ask nicely. And maybe go off anon, you might make a friend or two. 2019-20 were probably my most prolific giffing years, I giffed non stop every single day as if it was my full time job. For me, it was something small and easy to complete and it kept my days going. And eventually my Macbook Air that I’ve been using for 5 years was starting to give up on me. And when I upgraded the OS system to Catalina, it no longer supports cs5 and I was devastated. I eventually got my hands on photoshop cc 2020, and in some ways I re-learnt how to make gifs again (like for the third time?). I knew it was about time to get a new laptop. And now that I know I’m gonna use it for some heavy duty, and I didn’t want to get another macbook because I’m just not that crazy about it and at that time I wanted to use avisynth (more on that later) which was only available on windows (I didn’t know how to install vapoursynth on my macbook ok?). Eventually I got a gaming laptop with a 10th gen i-7 processor and a Wacom Intuos Pro using my sibling’s student discount. I got the Wacom tablet trying to get into digital drawing, but eventually it came in super handy with just day to day editing and especially recolouring.

Moral of the story: Start with whatever you’ve got, then upgrade your equipment when you’re serious about it.

iii. What I’m doing now? This year has been kinda different for me. In the past, it has always felt like I’m on my own sitting in front of my laptop churning out gifs 24/7. This year, I’ve joined a couple other blogs and gif maker/ ps user networks, learnt a whole lot of new things and diversified my giffing content (I have been giffing AoS 99.9% of the time non stop previously I kid you not). And I’ll be back in school for my part time masters a month or two later, so who knows how often I can gif. I don’t ever wanna stop giffing but I know one day I will, and before that day comes I just wanna share some of my memories with you guys on this hell site. So, basically all that led to this post.

2. The Basics

I’m gonna assume you have a bit of knowledge about gif making. If you’re a complete newbie, I’ve tried my best to link some tutorials to help you understand or get started. And don’t get intimidated by the length of this post. Even though a lot goes into gif making, once you get everything sorted and find your routine, it’ll become second nature. The following is simply my workflow of gif making. It is by no means the right/ better way of gif making. Everyone does things a bit or drastically differently, I’m just here to share my process in hopes that someone might learnt something new or find something interesting. If I got something wrong, feel free to inbox/ message me and address it politely, since I didn’t exactly started out giffing with clear directions, I do get some of the fundaments wrong. And I am no expert in photoshop or any editing software, it’s more of a learning as I go sort of thing. So just take everything with a grain of salt. With all the disclaimers out of the way, here come the things you’re probably here for.

i. Video source There’s one simple rule, go with the most HQ one, I’m talking 1080p or 4k and make sure it’s the biggest in file size because not all 1080p are created equally. Here’s a post by Taylor (@kylos) explaining all of that and where to download as well. For the most part I just use 1080p because I personally can’t tell the difference but I’m sacrificing a lot of time for a 4k video to load/ process. It’s only instances like these I would use a 4k source.

(gif taken from my set here)

Downloads are gonna take up space but you probably want to keep them if you might gif the show/ movie in the future again since you already spend all that time downloading, so you might need to invest in some hard drives for this. I used to use my uni’s unlimited gdrive plan which was available even after I graduated, but after Google cancelled it I was in huge trouble. I save pretty much all my hd downloads and all my psds & gifs. I’ve recently got a WD Elements 12TB just so I can transfer all 6+TB data on my gdrive to there with space left for the next couple of years.

ii. Screencapping vs Video clipping So there are a couple of ways to go about this that I’m aware of.

screencapping with mpv (tutorial by Taylor) or other softwares

video clipping with handbrake (here’s an in depth tutorial on gif making including clipping with handbrake by Nums @cillianmurphy), vlc, km player, etc.

video clipping + cropping + resizing with Vapoursynth (download here | tutorial by Em @realstraykids)

I have tried all of the above. I started with screencapping till around late 2020, when I found out about avisynth (now replaced by vapoursynth) and finally got my hands on a pc where I can download it. I was using screencaps for a really long time because older versions of ps don’t have timeline, I would end up having to convert the video back to frames anyways so why don’t I just import screencaps as is. I think it’s the same logic for me now, because I start all of my editing in timeline, so it’s just quicker to import video clips for me (especially when comparing screencapping with mpv vs video clipping with handbrake). From late 2020 till now, I mostly use avisynth/ vapoursynth. There should be less detail lost when resizing using vapoursynth compared to ps. Personally, I think ps does a pretty good job and I wouldn’t say vapoursynth is a must, it just happens to be a video clipping and resizing two in one tool for me. Vapoursynth has additional denoise & sharpening tools, but I just couldn’t quite get the setting right to incorporate them into my giffing routine, so I stick with ps for those purposes. Here’s a comparison for you if you’re thinking about using it. On the left is how I used to gif without vapoursynth. I did the same thing for both gifs except for sharpening, because the clips from vapoursynth just look slightly sharpened to me so I compensated with more sharpening on the left. Honestly, now looking at it side by side I actually like the one without vapoursynth more 😂 I’ll let you decide for yourself. Also, when I’m doing a huge compilation set where there are a lot of gifs and they are basically tiny and I don’t really have the dimensions in mind yet, I’ll just go with video clipping. It’s faster and I can resize it later.

iii. Resizing

There might be reasons why you don’t want to use the W x H x Resolution crop for your gif, because in the image size panel you can actually choose how you want your resampling setting. Normally I just go with Preserve Details 2.0, and set reduce Noise to 100%.

iv. Sharpening

Once I load my clips into ps, the first thing I do is add smart sharpen to them. For the longest time I only sharpen once. Here’s a sharpening tutorial by Ava (@anya-chalotra). I think those settings are mostly what people use and if you’re new to this you should probably stick with that. But I’ll let you on a secret (not a secret anymore now that’s in the open), I don’t do the whole over sharpen then blur it out thing, I just sharpen to the amount I like. This is coming from someone who spent the first 2? years giffing without sharpening, and when I do realize people sharpen I didn’t even look/ properly follow a tutorial on how to do it. I just knew smart sharpen is a thing. So, I’m sure there’s good reasons why you should sharpen to 500% then add gaussian blur and you probably should do that too. Prior to using vapoursynth, my settings were like radius 0.3, amount 100%-200%. With vapoursynth, I find it slightly sharpens my clips so I go with radius 0.3, amount 50% like 90% of the time. Then there’s the second sharpen thing if you noticed in my banner gif which I learnt from Sid’s (@sidonidoneeey) tutorial recently. I think it adds more contrast & definition to the objects in the gif.

Here’s a comparison for you to decide for yourself. I tried the max sharpening then add gaussian blur method in the second gif, and I’m still not quite convinced.

v. Colouring This I would say is pretty much the essence of a gif maker’s style. Again, everybody does it differently, different gif makers swear by different adjustment layers. Here are some tutorials for getting rid those difficult colour cast:

Kate’s (@dewandawise) channel mixer tutorial

Airam’s (@magnusedom) colouring tutorial

The best/ most experienced gif makers I know all swear by channel mixer so you should definitely check out Kate’s tutorial. Personally, my routine adjustment layers are like the ones in the banner gif. Levels → (+/- Curves) → Colour Balance and/or Selective Colour and/or Hue/Saturation → (+/-Vibrance). Then repeat any of those if necessary.

Levels: Personally, I always start my colouring with levels. When I first started giffing, all I heard about is curves and I spent a lot of time fussing around with it not knowing what it actually does. Until I found out about levels. It is way easier to understand than curves and very suitable for beginners in my opinion. You basically drag the right most arrow to meet the right side of the histogram. What you’re doing is telling ps what value in the gif you want to be the brightest (aka white), and everything beyond that value is going to be white as a result. You do the same thing on the left, and in this case defining the darkest/ black in your gif. I find this to be the simplest way to brighten and add contrast to gifs. The results as you can see is night and day.

Curves: Curves can basically do what levels do but more. See those two arrows under the histogram in curves (right), they basically do the same thing as what I just showed you in levels (left). And then obviously you can manipulate the curve to get your gif how you want, but honestly I still don’t fully understand what curves is so I’m not gonna try and explain that to you. What I can do is show you some other neat tricks you can do with curves.

You can click on the hand with the pointing finger icon, click and drag up to brighten or down to darken on any area in the gif you’d like to edit.

Another thing I like to do is click on the white (last) or grey (second) eyedropper, then click on an area where you think should be white or grey to get rid of any unwanted colour cast. This video tutorial goes more in depth and is more of a proper way of doing it, but I just don’t bother with doing all of that normally. So here you can see I click on the grey eyedropper, than I clicked somewhere in the background I think should be grey, ideally further away from that blue light beam behind her because everything near that is just gonna be more bluish. And you can see immediately the ground has less of a cyan tint and there’s more red in her skin. Sometimes, you have to try a couple of different places to get the best results. Sometimes, it just won’t work at all.

You can also Alt+click on the auto button, and a panel shows up. Click on them and see if any of those works for you. But normally I don’t use this because I have already enhanced the brightness and contrast with levels.

Once I get my overall values how I like it, I go into colour correcting. Usually nothing drastic, just trying to get rid of any colour tint and get the gif to look more neutral in colour. My go to are colour balance, selective colour and hue/saturation.

Colour balance: This is usually my go to to adjust the overall tone of the gif, and the panel gives a good visual of rgb vs cmy.

Selective colour: This is when I only want to adjust the tone of a particular colour without affecting the rest of the gif. I usually go to red the most to adjust characters’ skin tones. Also, people often ask if they should use relative or absolute mode. I would say for simple adjustment I would go with relative because it’s more subtle, but for major colour change and I want it to really show I’ll go with absolute.

Hue/Saturation: This I usually go in and click on the hand button then click on wherever in your gif you want to change the colour. Slide the hue or saturation slider around till you’re satisfied. If you want to, say, change your background to a single colour, check the box colourized. And slide the hue slider to your desire colour. Then paint black over the object in the layer mask to preserve it’s original colours.

Also, that slider you see right there. The center light grey region is where the colours would be affected by the changes you made. And the two darker grey regions flanking it are sort of a buffer so the colour transition isn’t as stark if it makes sense. You can basically slide those sliders closer to each other so the adjustment affects a smaller targeted range of colours. You can always crank the saturation to the max to see what part of the gif you’re changing the colours of.

Photo Filter: This is a cool one that I learnt about recently. You can basically apply a warming/ cooling filter to quickly change the tone of the gif. Sometimes it helps with getting rid of that last bit of an unwanted colour filter.

vi. Blend modes Do you know that you can change the blend modes of your adjustment layers to get a different result? I don’t think a lot of people do this, I don’t either most of the time. But there are a couple ones that you might find helpful.

Screen: This will brighten up the gif a lot, could be helpful with really dark scenes.

Colour: When I want my adjustment layer to only affect the colours but not the brightness of the gif.

Luminosity: When I don’t want my adjustment layer to affect the colours.

Here’s a video explaining all the blend modes in photoshop.

vii. Denoise & Clean It was from the same post that I learnt about avisynth that I found out about Topaz Labs, particularly their denoise plugin & clean plugin. I won’t go in depth into that because I’ve tried it a couple of times and couldn’t get the settings that work for me and it is very time consuming. But if it is something you want to try, here’s a post of the user sharing her topaz settings. What I actually want to talk about is Camera Raw in ps. I normally add my denoise filter after I coloured the gif, because all the brightening and saturating the gif with colours add more noise to the original clip itself. But if a scene is particularly grainy to begin with, I’ll add a denoise filter right after sharpening, add my adjustment layers, then another denoise filter if necessary. Also, if you want to keep more details in the certain areas like the hair of the characters, just take a soft round brush and paint black in the smart filter layer mask. Go to Filter → Camera Raw Filter. The denoise function is under the tab Detail. I usually only move the noise reduction and colour noise reduction slider, and keep the detail at 50.

There’s so much more you can do with camera raw. Here’s a tutorial by @michietuts on how to colour your gifs with camera raw. I actually completely forgot about it until I went digging for tutorials for this post. I think the reason why I never got into using camera raw to colour gifs is simply because there’s too many sliders and it’ll take a long time to figure out what works, so I just stick with what worked for me.

viii. Convert to frames & export After I add all my adjustment layers and denoise filters, I normally convert it back to frames for further editing because I find it takes so long for the video to play in timeline mode. It’s just easier for me to gauge what I want to do with the gif in frame mode, such as whether more adjustment is needed, or how I want to crop my gif. I know a lot of people would just edit everything in timeline mode, and convert back to frames as a last step to change the delay to 0.05s before exporting. You can do it however you want. It’s just spending so much time with cs5, I’ve grown accustomed to editing in frames mode. Here is my export settings:

For most people, it’s the choice between selective vs adaptive and diffusion vs pattern. Personally I prefer how adaptive pattern looks and I rarely change it across different gifs because I have my export action automated. There’s more explanation and comparison in Ava’s tutorial here.

ix. Subtitles The majority of gifs I make are what I call “scene edits”. Not that I’m lazy or anything and don’t want to be bothered with making fancier gifs, it’s just what I like to do. Especially when giffing a show I haven’t giffed before I always start with making plenty of scenes, to the point where I can recall just about any scenes from that show when I want to make a fancier gif set. So I’m just gonna share me text settings for the subtitle, show you how I center the text box to the bottom and how to duplicate it to the rest of your files. Press T for the text tool, and type in whatever subtitle you need. Here are my subtitle settings:

Alt+A to select the whole canvas then press V for the move tool. Then select align horizontal centers and align bottom edges.

Now that you have your text centered at the bottom, you might want to style it. I usually go for a stroke outside the text, some people op for drop shadow or both. Right click your text layer and select Blending Options... Check the Stroke box, change the size to 3px, position to outside and colour to black.

To duplicate text box to the same exact position in another gif, right click your text layer and choose Duplicate Layer... Then choose whichever document you want to duplicate to and press ok.

And of course I have my text duplication automated, so the text would show up in all my gifs in a matter of seconds.

x. Recap

3. How to optimize your giffing process

i. Actions This one single function in ps is gonna save you sooooo much time & energy my friends. If you’re a chronic giffer like me, you probably spend all your time starring into your computer and just clicking away like a manic, especially those times when new episodes drop and everyone is trying to get their gifs out there as quick as possible. Let me tell you, life before I found out about actions was miserable. Back then, my laptop was even slower, so maybe after I did one thing I had to wait for it to load, then repeat the same process to the rest of the gifs in the set, which is normally 10 in total. I had to grab my laptop with me during meals because I basically couldn’t walk away from it. Actions was a lifesaver, especially for things you’d routinely do when making gifs like sharpening, resizing, denoising, convert to frames, export, etc. You basically use actions to record yourself doing it once, and you can just hit play every time you want ps to do it again. And to take it a step further, you can automate ps to play that action on all the opened files. You then record that automation into an action, then voila you can sharpen/resize/export all your gifs in one click. Now, I can click automate convert to frames, go out and eat dinner and come back to it.

Now here are my actions. I know the naming doesn’t make much sense to you, but basically I have actions to automate sharpening, denoising, converting to frames, setting frame delays, exporting and saving. And yes, I do regularly hit that automate save button so I don’t lose everything when my ps crashes. Then there’s actions for formatting subtitles, duplicating layers, pasting frames after or over frames. I think this covers about everything I use on a daily basis. Here’s how you record an action and automate said action. (Left gif) First you click on the folder icon to create new set, name it and click ok. Click the + icon to add new action, name it and press record. Then you do whatever you want to record, and when you’re done click to stop button to stop recording. (Right gif) To create an automation of the new action, click the + icon to add new action, name it and press record. (Third gif) Then go to File → Automate → Batch. Choose the set the action you want to automate is in, then choose the action. Click ok then stop recording. Now you have an action to automate the previous action you made.

(gif below) The box on the left of your action is the dialog on/off button. Basically if you check it those dialog boxes will pop up every time after you played the action, which is good if you want to customize every time but not so much when your goal is to click one button and let it run across all gif without interruption. I check most of them off except for the denoise filter which I do want to customize for each gif. To get the action panel to look like the one I showed in the first picture, click on the little button on the top right corner of the actions panel and choose button mode. And you’ll get to play an action by simply clicking on it.

ii. History

There are a couple of things I do in this panel. Have you ever make an adjustment, undo, make a new adjustment, and now no matter how many times you hit revert you just can’t get back that first adjustment you made? There’s a simple fix in the history settings. Click on the little button on the top right corner of the history panel and choose History Options, then check the box “Allow Non-Linear History” and click ok.

I often like to use the history to go back to previous adjustment, because I can see clearly what has been done (sometimes I click on the wrong button without knowing) and I can go further back without keep hitting Crl+Z. You can also click on the camera icon in the bottom right to take a snapshot of the current process/ step of the gif, so in case you don’t like some changes you make, you can always go back to that snapshot. Or you can take snapshots of different adjustments you made to the gifs, then you can quickly compare how they look by toggling between snapshots.

iii. Keyboard Shortcuts Know/ customize the shortcuts for things you often do, such as Crt+Z for undo, T for add text, V for move, Crl+A for select all, etc. It’ll save time & effort in the long run. To customize, simply go to Edit → Keyboard Shortcuts.

iv. My Workspace I’m the least organized person I know but I still want to talk about my ps workspace. It’s been structure to fit my giffing needs. Basically all the panels I need are there, and I maximize my space for the document window and timeline.

If you go to Window → Workspace → New Workspace, you can save your current workspace as a preset. So maybe if you moved things around or accidentally closed some panel that you don’t remember the name for, just click on that preset workspace, or if it says you’re already in that workspace click reset “whatever the name of your workspace” and your workspace will be reset. There’s mainly 2 workspace I toggle between, one for giffing and another for digital painting.

4. The more advanced stuff?

i. “Recolouring” I’m not gonna spend a lot of time on this part because the next part is actually what I really want to talk about. But Hue/Saturation is going to be your friend if you want some major colour change. Then add a gradient map over it for good measure. I’ll link some tutorials for you if you don’t know what I mean.

Becca’s (@yenvengerberg) mega colouring tutorial

Kate’s tutorial on @usergif (←there’s all sorts of gif tutorials in their resources directory, go check it out)

People would always tell you to find gifs where the character barely moves or the background is of a contrasting colour to make the process easier. Now, with timeline you’ve got keyframes to help with slightly more movement. But what if you want to make something like this gif below? 😨 I made this during my earlier days of recolouring (which was not that long ago), and the only thing I could think of was colour it frame by frame. This gif has 73 frames. There are 8 gifs in this set which I had to all colour frame by frame. It was a long and tedious process I tell you, but the results, in my humble opinion, is stunning!!! But what if I tell you it can be done without colouring it frame by frame and it only takes a fraction of the time I spent?

(gif taken from my set here)

ii. After Effects & Rotoscoping The reason I started using after effects was for this gif set. I got a gif request and my inspiration was the intro from the youtube channel sortedfood. Here’s how one of the gif looks like.

See the character cut out on the right? Basically the same thing in my recent Winnie the Pooh set. In my first trial, I was trying to do it frame by frame on ps like I always did, but there was no way I could get it looking smooth, it gets very jagged when the background was a completely different scene. And with some googling, that’s how I found out about rotoscoping on after effects. This is the youtube tutorial I learnt it from and the one I send it to people when they ask me how I do character cut outs like that. I’ll try to quickly show you how I do it below, but please refer to that video if you want more details. Usually I export my gifs as videos in timeline mode in ps, then import the video into ae. After I’m done, I’ll export the ae file as video, import it back into ps, convert back to frames and do the rest. Here are my steps to rotoscoping:

Double click the layer you’d like to work on. The layer window should pop up and that is what you want to work with.

Click on the Rotobrush tool and paint across the object you want to include. Always paint across, not outline.

I have my roto brush set to version to 2.0, and I would change the quality from standard to best.

Continue painting until everything is included. Alt+drag to deselect unwanted parts. Hit spacebar when done and let it run.

You can change the properties of the roto brush selection in effect controls.

If you want a more detailed written explanation than this. Go to adobe’s help page on roto brush here. Once you have the cut out of the object you desire, there are many things you can do with it.

Duplicate the original layer, change the colour of the bottom layer as aforementioned. And now you have a gif with a different coloured background.

Or you can have a different background (either a solid colour or a different video/gif)

You can have text behind the object, etc.

You get the idea. (This is a simple demo, please excuse the quality and choppiness of the gif)

Now you’ll never recolour gifs the same way again. Here’s a Kate & Yelena gif for you guys (even though it’s not the best, could’ve blurred out the edges a bit more but it’s still pretty damn awesome and I wouldn’t have coloured it like that if it wasn’t for ae)

(gif taken from my set here)

Here’s another gif I made with AE from this set. The possibility is endless and I’m barely scratching the surface. I can do a separate AE tutorial if you guys are interested. Let me know in the comments or tags.

5. Tutorials mentioned in this post

i. Text tutorials

@kylos’s film downloading and screencapping tips for making gifs

@kylos’s gif tutorial

@cillianmurphy’s giffing 101- your ultimate guide on how to make gifs

@realstraykids‘s gifmaking with vapoursynth tutorial

@anya-chalotra‘s sharpening & exporting tutorial

@sidonidoneeey‘s sharpening tutorial

@dewandawise‘s the beginner’s guide to channel mixer

@magnusedom’s colouring tutorial

@yenvengerberg’s mega colouring tutorial

@usergif’s how to change the background of any gif tutorial

adobe’s Roto Brush and Refine Matte

ii. Video tutorials

PiXimperfect’s Color Correction with Easy "4-Point" Technique!

PiXimperfect’s The Science of All 27 Blend Modes in Photoshop!

@michietuts‘s How to Color Grade Gifs Using Camera Raw

C.M. de la VEGA ‘s Get the Best Results with Rotobrush 2

6. Acknowledgement

Thank you so much to the authors of all the amazing tutorials, everything was so eloquently written, well explained and easy to follow. And a huge shoutout to the people at @pscentral & @womenofmcu. Our conversations on gif making have prompted me to write this post. I’ve learnt so much from the people at psc and thank you Ace & Val for creating this place that I didn’t even know I needed. It is one place I feel truly belong. So If anyone is interested in gif making, come join us at pscentral. And thank you to the ladies at womenofmcu for being so nice and welcoming, always love chatting with you lot. Last but not least, I’m patting myself on the back. For someone who’s terrible with words this is one hell of a long text post.

As always, happy giffing!

310 notes · View notes

elvendorx · 2 years ago

Note

Hi! First off. I love your blog and how you write about James and Sirius they are✨everything✨

But, I was wondering what your views and opinions are on each of their individual relationships with Remus and Peter.

Firstly thank you! It’s my mission to put more j/s out into the world so I’m glad my particular brand of it resonates with other enjoyers <3 I love this question but unfortunately various deadlines and then me just being a messy, inconcise writer have delayed it to the two months mark 💀 so hopefully you’re still interested & it was worth the wait! I’ve edited it to death and it’s still this long so buckle in & multiple apologies

The little that we do know of James and Remus’ friendship gives the impression of a really genuine, nurturing, trusting one, and helps to bridge that gap between the arrogant bully we see in SWM and the good guy Sirius and Remus tell us that James becomes later. James supported Remus financially post-Hogwarts, became an Animagus for him, and then there’s the “furry little problem” comment that Remus bursts out laughing at and looks “slightly more cheerful” at the memory of.

I think that one line says a lot about James and Remus and establishes a shared sense of humour. It’s a very “raised by older parents” thing of James to say, it’s weirdly gentle and tactful from someone who doesn’t show that in any of the memories we see of him but it’s also quite light and optimistic about Remus’ “little problem” as something they can solve together. James, like Remus, probably spent a lot of his childhood with his parents so I think they’d both have had quiet evenings in by the Wireless with biscuits and hot chocolate before bed and homemade jumpers and grandad slippers so despite James being very loud and Remus not knowing how to really interact with other kids despite wanting to, they would ‘get’ each other on a home life level that would bridge the difference in wealth and with the werewolf thing.

I think that James makes Remus feel more normal and his brand of carefree, casual, cocksure acceptance would make him Remus’ main source of support in terms of friends. The time that Remus knows James (meeting him in first year to James’ death) directly correlates with the happiest, most stable time in his life. When James dies he has lost all of his friends and James’ financial support so James is a literal stabilising force in his life, so James would have been Remus’ go-to when he wanted to talk serious werewolf stuff. I see James plopping down next to Remus on his bed being like “talk to me, I’m listening” and Remus finding it easy to open up that way. They’d be familiar enough to have little in-jokes that are just the two of them whereas I think Remus and Sirius wouldn’t have that closeness. (Not a j/s post but I also like to think of Remus just giving James this wry eye-contact re:Sirius like ‘lol u got it bad’ and James being all ???!!! back at him).

OTOH I see Sirius and Remus’ friendship as more distant and a friendship of two halves. On the one hand there’s a consistent mutual respect. Remus includes Sirius in his praise of him - “your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did” - and Sirius evidently regards Remus more highly than Peter because he engages and jokes with him in SWM which shows a shared sense of humour. I think Sirius would respect Remus’ magical abilities as being close to his and James’ in the same way that he doesn’t respect Peter for his lack of relative magical ability. I think a lot of their discussions would about wizarding politics and the technical possibilities of magic so they’d probably get on quite well with the Marauder’s Map project (but also lol at Sirius being like “Remus, just let me do it, I know what I’m doing and I’m quicker” and taking over and Remus going all mutinous). However, Sirius also rebuffs Remus’ attempts to engage in SWM, showing an element of impatience and a sense of tension, instability and misunderstanding to their friendship (more on this in a separate post bc this one is Long).

A big thing for me that inhibits me from reading Sirius and Remus as particularly close is the mutual distrust and suspicion of the other as a traitor. I have always thought that this was a gradual thing that built up over years. To suspect a friend of ten years of being a spy is huge so I think the prank intensified and maybe accelerated it but it wasn’t the origin of the breakdown in trust. Notably it was a spy in the Order, not a spy just out of the Marauders, yet both Sirius and Remus suspected each other out of everyone else. I think that the tension would be unspoken but mutually felt and it would come from fundamental differences like their different backgrounds, and on Remus’ end a resentment of Sirius’ freedom to be reckless and impulsive and get nothing more than a detention for it when Remus being reckless could lead to dangerous consequnces (even though that didn’t really stop him being reckless on several occasions).

I also feel like Sirius would have a more clinical, less tactful, though still very supportive, approach to Remus’ lycanthropy and he’d discuss werewolf issues from an intellectual/social/political perspective rather than really engaging with Remus’ experience (at least until he actually sees him transform) which might seem dismissive to Remus. I also think that Remus would question Sirius’ support because of the Black family’s reputation, enough so that when the prank happens that background suspicion would be vindicated. It’s said a lot that Sirius would never have sent Snape to the Shack if it was James who were the werewolf, and that’s an important distinction between James and Sirius’ close relationship & Sirius and Remus’ more neutral and separated friendship.

At the same time there must be genuine friendship there somewhere because they reunite very easily in the Shrieking Shack, hugging like brothers and calling each other “old friend” and they sense/assume capability to kill Peter and the desire for revenge in each other which suggests that they know each other well. I do think that a lot of that comes from the adrenaline of the situation, and that the combination of relief, familiarity, nostalgia, revenge, desperation, grief, etc, would heighten that joy at being reunited. I think that they experience those emotions alongside each other rather than because of each other, routed through James and their experience of knowing and losing him rather than an especial attachment to each other specifically, though. Their joint venture of avenging James positions him as a central touchstone in their friendship. When Harry goes to them for reassurance after SWM, they’re both just remembering James and Sirius’ acknowledgement of Remus is all about separating him from himself and James. The main thing they have in common is James, imo. The discovery of Peter as the traitor removes the main internal conflict of their friendship, as well as external conflicts (i.e. impending war, Harry’s chaotic life) superceding any personality differences or annoyances.

Convenience also plays a big part in their post-PoA friendship. They’re a mutually beneficial, easily accessible source of familiarity and nostalgia for each other, a parallel reminder of James and their youth when they were both happier. Things like “lie low at Lupin’s” and Remus living at Grimmauld Place are measures of convenience rather than closeness when scrutinised. Grimmauld Place is Order HQ and Remus is single and unemployed, obviously he’s going to choose to be around people and have free food and shelter (plus Tonks is there a lot). Before that Sirius that lives in a cave eating rats even though he probably could live with Remus because at this point it’s not widely known that he’s an Animagus but he doesn’t. (Would Remus even want him there?)

It doesn’t seem like they’re in touch at all until then either? Dangerous, etc etc, but these are supposedly the kids who snuck around school as animals undetected for years and one of them has escaped Azkaban so it would have been feasible to be in contact if they’d wanted to. It’s also significant to me that Sirius didn’t leave Remus anything in his will despite him struggling financially (vs James actively helping Remus out) and Remus is like..fine after he dies. It’s understandable because they were separated for longer than they initially knew each other. They were obviously friends, but different and more distant in comparison to their individual friendships with James. It all culminates for me in a friendship that is based on a shared youth, on the memory of freedom, on love for a mutual friend, on existing in the same place at the same time, on mutual respect for magical ability, on curiosity for the constraints of magic, on holding the same values but still being fundamentally different people.

I don’t think that the Marauders were a particularly equal group anyway but with Peter specifically I think it was more an illusion of equality and inclusion that James and Sirius think is ‘enough’ for Peter but that Peter finds it lacking. James and Sirius definitely don’t view him as equal with Remus, but they also spare him from the kind of bullying we see Snape get, despite Snape being more capable and logically worthy of their respect (were he not interested in dark magic or ugly, I guess).

I think that James and Peter’s friendship was the most mutually transactional. Peter’s inclusion in the group was social security for him first and foremost and James’ ego also got stroked a lot from having Peter around. James would pat himself on the back for being friends with someone like Peter lmao. All we see of James and Peter’s dynamic is James saying to Peter: “How thick are you, Wormtail?” and Peter openly adoring James when he plays with the Snitch and James lapping it up. Despite the derision and harshness, Peter actively feeds James’ ego, which isn’t a sustainable dynamic for a genuine friendship and it clearly irritates Sirius. I think that’s more Peter performing a role for his own continued benefit rather than him being stupid enough to not notice that James is being a dick though.

The combination of Peter’s capabilities being underestimated by his friends and James’ sense of duty and love towards his friends would foster a lowkey mentor/pupil, big brother/little brother dynamic but it would boost James’ ego while treating Peter as less intelligent than he actually was. I’m sure Peter benefited from it (Animagus transformations) but I can see James playing into it more heavily than necessary. However James and Peter are the two with the most typical childhoods and upbringings, so I think it would be an easy casual one-on-one dynamic, they’d have a lot of common experiences, a lot of the same reference points that Remus missed out on and Sirius’ family didn’t approve of that would make them feel close but they’re just opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of confidence, wit, popularity that beyond that I don’t think they’d have a lot in common except their shared high opinion of James (!) and there would be a lot of James talking at Peter and Peter agreeing. I don’t think Peter would be that into Quidditch beyond maybe the glory of it and James overlooks this with Sirius and understands why Remus isn’t into it but with Peter he’s like how what why ??

Ultimately unequal but I think James has that ability to make you feel like you’re the only person in the world when it’s a one-on-one thing and that would be something that Peter would strive for all the time but never quite get. I definitely think that James thinks he loves Wormtail but whether he actually does or treats him like he does is an entirely different thing.

With Sirius, we only see him treat Peter with contempt and I don’t think it’s oversimplification to accept this basically at surface level. I don’t think Sirius ever really respected Peter and generally regarded him as weak. Even Sirius’ irritation at James showing off with the Snitch is diverted through Peter in a way designed to humiliate Peter and relieve James of responsibility and to distance James from Sirius' reproach whilst giving Peter the full force of it and I think that shows how disposable and irrelevant he was to Sirius. (It’s not that far off some of the comments he makes about Snape and Kreacher.)

This is a relationship Sirius would have had to work really hard at. Peter is the friend he is always irritated at and is mentally like "god just go away just fuck off". Sometimes he'd be like "aw he's not that bad I should be easier on him" but he mostly never is. Sirius likes Peter most as a rat, unironically, because for Sirius that’s probably when he sees the most potential in Peter. The way Peter works so hard to please James (and James’ acceptance of his attention) would irritate Sirius. Sirius loves James and makes a lot of allowances for him but he would find Peter’s sucking up degrading and embarrassing and think less of him for it, like “I like James more than you but you don’t see me pissing myself over him”.

Peter I think was scared of Sirius, because of Sirius just being openly hostile but also because of his family. Peter would suck up to Sirius in the same way he did James but it doesn’t work on Sirius and Peter is like “well idk how to act then” so he’s constantly trying to find ways to get Sirius to like him and falling short so eventually he plays into Sirius’ underestimation of him (very successfully, clearly). I think Sirius’ whole “nobody would suspect him because he’s so stupid” sentiment grew in hindsight but existed somewhat at the time of choosing Peter as Secret Keeper. Sirius would never knowingly do something that he thought would even slightly risk James' safety so I completely believe that he trusted Peter and believed in a vague mutual understanding of friendship despite his lack of patience and respect for him.

(Sorry this is SO FUCKING LONG, esp the Sirius & Remus bit bc I always feel I have to justify that one more, plus there’s way more in-text stuff for them. Once again ty for the ask! <3 Loved answering it, hate myself for being inarticulate but oh well)

#marauders #mwpp #marauder era #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #would you believe me if i said that this was even longer in bullet point form?

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insomniactalks · 2 years ago

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I have about 10 different asks sitting in my inbox regarding the “leaks” for S3, and I finally found some time to address them today. Instead of answering each ask one by one, I’m just gonna address all those concerns/questions in this post. If you are one of the several anons who’s sent me an ask about the “leaks,” and have been patiently waiting for an answer, keep reading! This is the only time I will address the “leaks” b/c I think it’s best to just wait and see what happens at this point. (Typing this up from my laptop, so I apologize for the length of this post...hehe)

To start, I’m so sorry if you’ve been waiting a while for a reply. July has been hectic for me. Thank you for ur patience! A few things before I start: I won’t tag Ricky and Gina’s ship in the main tag b/c I assume they may not want to read my thoughts on the matter (which is totally fair! LOL) I think I’ll start tagging Gicky instead from now on b/c that’s also a combo of their names and so I can keep my own blog organized in some way. Also, my thoughts on the “leaks” are less from a Portwell stan’s point of view and more so from my thoughts as an English major in undergrad and grad school. I will try my best not to insert my own bias here. I’m simply looking at the story that’s being told on the show and the evidence.

Yes, I have seen the “leaks,” both the Twitter thread and the screenshots/“script” from back in April/May. And no, I will not share any of that with anyone b/c I promised the person who was kind enough to share it with me that I wouldn’t do that. That being said, lemme get into it!

Is anyone really surprised S3 would have another semi-formal event given S1′s HoCo episode (1.05) and S2′s quinceñero (2.05)? We all shoulda known S3 would follow that trend, so I’m not surprised by 3.07 apparently being another dance/formal event, “Camp Prom” I believe is the name. What corroborates “Camp Prom” is the actual evidence to back it up. The screenshots for this are actual pics from crew on set while they were filming, which show colorful 70s-themed décor. It’s not just someone’s words that’s taken as truth, there’s legit posts from crew on their Instagrams. All that confirms is that there will be a dance at camp (which seems so fun! Can’t wait to see it.) The only reason the “leaker” was right about that is b/c of the crew’s behind the scenes pics.

The “leaker” claims Ricky and Gina “have a great moment together” in the prom episode and that they “make eye contact across the room” at some point. I can see how one would easily assume this scenario to mean something romantic for Ricky and Gina, but just b/c 2 characters “share a moment” together doesn’t inherently make it a romantic scene. BTW, the “leaker” never claims Gicky “almost kiss” at prom, they only said what’s stated above. There’s a screenshot of part of the alleged script for “Camp Prom” that claims they “almost kiss.” I have several issues with this “script,” starting with the font used. I’ve seen plenty of official scripts from other shows (Riverdale and SPOP in particular) and even from Tim himself. They all have the exact same font and font size (no idea what that font type is called, but all shows/movies in the industry seems to use it. It must be standard practice b/c that font is sorta boxy and spaced out, making it easier for actors to read). Tim’s even shared part of the script for 1.06 before, and the font used is very different from this “script” from 3.07. I’m not claiming Ricky and Gina won’t share a moment in 3.07, I just highly doubt it’s an almost kiss. This “script” goes from Jet and Maddox on stage, to the coat check area where Gina “spills her bag” before her and Ricky allegedly almost kiss. There is no description for what Gina does after her “bag spills.” It just says she and Ricky “almost kiss” immediately after that. That makes no sense. Any person would be fumbling to put stuff back into their bag if everything spills out. This “script” is missing so much context, on top of being the wrong font and font size, that it makes me question it’s legitimacy. Seems pretty fake to me. Also, anyone notice how none of the “leaks” have ever stated anything specifically about Portwell? All these “leaks” seem to be in favor of only one ship (Gicky), yet official releases for S3, such as posters, the trailer, the “It’s On” music vid, etc, have continually presented Portwell as a team. I’m not saying Gina and EJ won’t be dealing with couple drama in S3, of course they will, but I doubt S3 will be the end for them.

One of the anons bring up Channing and Corbin filming Gicky during rehearsals for the musical for the documentary, and EJ possibly seeing that footage as the director. That’s deff a solid theory b/c the show could do that to add more drama. But here’s the problem. If Gina and Ricky are the leads in the musical, they would be playing romantic interests. Just like in S1, EJ will be in the exact same position in S3 where his girlfriend is playing romantic leads with a guy she has/had feelings for. By S1′s finale, EJ accepts Nini’s decision in choosing Ricky and truly lets her go (which is a moment he’s “really proud of” (2.10)). He learns a lesson in S1 about letting someone go and putting their interests before his own. In 1.04-1.06, EJ was still trying to win Nini back and hold on to their relationship, even when she was clearly done. However, thanks to character growth (and a certain someone! *ahem* Gina) EJ does the right thing. What would be the point in having EJ placed in the same situation as S1 again, where his girlfriend and the guy she has a past with are playing romantic leads, and have him go thru that rejection again? With the same other guy (Ricky) no less? There’s no point in EJ learning the same lesson from S1 again cuz he already went thru that. Don’t ya’ll think the writers know this? I think the more likely story that will be told in S3 is EJ having to confront his past insecurities with Nini, and how that affects his present relationship with Gina. The writers may have set up what seems like the same story from S1, but I’m pretty sure there will be a different outcome in S3. Doesn’t make sense to repeat the same lesson of rejection for EJ’s character in S1 in S3. There should be another important lesson to be learned here for EJ, such as someone other than himself actually wanting to “hold onto what they had over the summer” (1.04). Nini couldn’t do that for him unfortunately, due to the feelings she clearly still had for Ricky in S1. EJ was always gonna be a rebound for Nini b/c she was just trying to move on from Ricky over the summer he broke up with her. Gina, on the other hand, waited several months, during which she was actively moving on from her romantic feelings for Ricky, before she even considered being more than friends with EJ.

That doesn’t mean Ricky and Gina shouldn’t have a convo or two in S3 to clear the air b/t them, and work on rebuilding their friendship. This may very well lead to Gicky sharing moments this season, but I’m not convinced they'll be romantic moments. Every time EJ witnessed or suspected s/t going on b/t Ricky and Nini in S1, he was actually right. While he did NOT handle it in the right way, his suspicions were correct (esp in 1.02 w/ Ricky and Nini sharing a moment on stage/voicemail and even in 1.04 where Nini and Ricky almost kiss the same day she broke up with EJ). Having already gone thru that with Nini and Ricky, why would the show make EJ live thru that again with Gina and Ricky? Unless....there’s a different outcome! (That being EJ seeing Gina and Ricky interact and actually having to confront his insecurities this time instead of just being on the defensive. Who’s to say this won’t lead to more honest conversations b/t Portwell? Better yet, EJ and Ricky having the conversation they never really had in S1, where Ricky really overstepped certain boundaries in EJ’s relationship and Ricky comes to terms with that now. What if Ricky acknowledges his wrongs in the past and chooses to want a more genuine friendship/comradery with EJ this time? Just a thought.)

Last thing, S3 is confirmed to be only 8 episodes. The writers spent 8 episodes in S2 having EJ and Gina just flirt with each other. I doubt Portwell will date and break up (and stay broken up) in the same season they just started dating. They even set up the strong possibility for a Portwell love confession someday b/c of the following allusions to love in regard to Gina and EJ: (2.06) EJ would ask his future self if “he could learn to love anyone after Belle,” then takes a seat right next to Gina [visual foreshadowing]; (2.08) Howie singing, “No lesson could teach me how I could have loved her and make her love me too” as EJ takes care of Gina while she sleeps by placing his Duke hoodie over her; and (2.11) Ricky and Ashlyn singing “Something There,” a love song about 2 ppl unexpectedly falling for each other while Gina and EJ send e/o hearteyes thruout the performance (at least 3 times!). When writing a story, like the writers for the show, you include these subtle/indirect hints, like love in relation to Portwell in S2, in order to bring that concept back up again in a more apparent way. I couldn’t help but notice the set up in S2 for a Portwell love confession, but there’s a clear lack of a set up for an EJ/Gina/Ricky love triangle. By S1 finale, we knew Gina still had feelings for Ricky, hence the somewhat awkward moments b/t them in the dressing room after “Stick to the Status Quo” performance and their hallway convo before “Breaking Free,” which was the writers setting up Gina’s storyline for S2. She was obviously still grappling with her feelings for Ricky, hence the S2 promo posters placing Ricky b/t Nini and Gina b/c he was gonna be an important part of both their stories that season. It was a love triangle -adjacent situation. In contrast, S2 does not set up a Gicky/Portwell love triangle by the finale. The writers have already set the foundation for a Portwell love confession and a long-awaited conversation b/t Ricky and Gina to restart their friendship. I am hoping that happens with Ricky realizing how poorly he treated Gina in S2, apologizing for it, and wanting to be good friends again.

Bottom-line, let’s all stop acting like the writers are gonna fuck it all up just for the sake of drama. EJ and Gina’s stories (both individually and together) have been wonderfully written so far (the writers going as far as paralleling PW’s first moment ever in 1.01- with EJ watching Gina from the wings with mutual respect for her as a performer, to their 2.11 moment- with EJ proudly watching Gina from the wings, tenderly admiring the kind of person she is. See here for gifs!) This show even brought in not one but two different guest stars to help further develop Portwell’s relationship in S2. Just sayin’.

I see it this way: Gina and Ricky should be having positive interactions again in S3, esp after S2, and I’m hopeful for their renewed friendship again. And, if EJ and Gina don’t have their love confession this season, that’s deff something to look forward to in S4! Let’s face it, PW love confession is on the horizon, and the writers have set it up that way.

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prof-peach · 3 years ago

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if fans wanted to include peach in stuff they write, would that be okay? and how would they write peach's personality? aside from "FIGHT ME" anyway, i think that much is a given lol. i only really write the anime characters 'cause that's what i know, but it sounds like it'd be kinda fun to try making a version of ash that fits into this blog's universe! nerf'd Obviously, but i think she'd probably appreciate how hands-on he gets when training his pokemon!

Ok, I get a lot of these messages, and I often hear folks wanting to throw peach into their stories and comics and writings, and I will always simply ask that if it’s published online publicly, to be linked to it so I can snoop and enjoy the content too. If someone asks about her in your work, let them know about the blog I guess? But literally I love that people take this stuff, these characters and stories, and make new stuff with it. No ones making money off my work here? So where’s the issue? Go for it buddy, knock yourself out, I’m all for it.

For you, and all the others out there who want to add peach, and other characters to your world building, I will give you a detailed rundown of the main lot, and how they behave, what they do, how they function. You can use that, use bits, or use none of it, I do not mind at all. If you’re creating something, you’re in control, not me.

So, peach doesn’t actually fight people as much as you’d think. She’s very aware most cannot and do not want to do that, and so she likes to keep to herself with regards to that aspect of her life, she doesn’t ask to spar with people, or even bring it up at all, but people ask her all the time, even if they clearly would lose or become hurt should she miscalculate during the fight. She looks at people like they usually create problems, and often has a somewhat reserved nature to other humans. You have to work quite hard to get anything more than formalities out of her. She will dead-pan handle people with blunt and very to-the-point statements, aid whenever possible, but very quickly get back to handling the Pokemon she so carefully tends. Her focus is clear, she’s all about hard work, her very small select family, and the Pokemon.

Her brutal, loud and brash personality only comes out with friends, family, difficult humans, OR any Pokemon. She will joke and laugh and play with Pokemon, but clam up around humans, maintaining tight body language and generally will be a little cold by regular standards. She does however have some weaknesses in this emotionless shield she puts up. When peach was young she was always angry, which swung so fast to sadness, back and forth. Her teenage years it just got worse and worse, it was crippling at points. She is to this day, full of fire and rage, even sadness, but now she has learnt to control it, to use it. When she sees that in others, it’s familiar, and she is pushed to drop the front, and be very real with the person. Underdogs I suppose, people who get bad reps, but deserve the same as everyone else. She can’t ignore it.

Once you start to pry open her personality, you’ll find she’s a lot more laid back and fun than originally appeared, you just have to work hard to find that side of her. She will meme reference, can’t dance to save her life, loves her coffee, and can be caught in quiet contemplation while gardening. This hobby is her calmest, and often is why she can stay so level headed when her quiet rage boils up again. Without time outside she will become grouchy, a little snippy, and lethargic. Will not go in the ocean for any reason other than life or death, is fine with ponds and rivers, or water at wading height. Likes the rain.

With regards to her training others, they usually have to tolerate her somewhat strict nature. She is a little....unforgiving, holds a grudge if you make a lot of mistakes, and has no tolerance for ignorance in the age of information that we all live in. In previous posts I’ve mentioned she’s only recently selected two students, after many years of testing kids who want to learn from her. Hundred tried out, only two have ever been approved. How she teaches is very fast paced, be prepared to get some scrapes and bruises, she will test your physical and emotional tolerances with intense tasks, carefully watching students like a hawk. Bad posture in your stance? She’ll be the first to tell you to sort it out. Not hearing your Pokemon partner? Right, now you spend the day without using words trying to communicate, let’s see how you like not being listened to.

This is a woman who has spent her life saying very little, and watching everything, she watches Pokemon and can see an issue from a mile off, and in battles, her observations are why she can react fast, and chose effective strategy to avoid damage and achieve results. Don’t let her body fool you, her strongest asset is analysing, watching, planning. Those skills have over the years transferred to people too. As a student, mistakes don’t go unnoticed with this professor.

Her methods are harsh but fair, and should you prove yourself, she will protect you with her life.

Because of her disinterest in kids and lots of noise, she does pass the training of students on to the other staff members whenever possible. Grey takes on the lions share of battle lessons, he is far calmer, more open and friendly, with patience for people, and an empathy that peach sometimes struggles to have. When you go through a lot of harsh training, and difficult events, it’s hard to change how you feel or think, with peach, well, she’s been through it. Most do not come out the other end in one piece, but she did, and it made her strong. You may think I mean strong like buff and big, and yeah sure she is, but I mean it mentally more than anything. Peach will not quit. She has learnt to destroy the boundaries that stop people getting hurt, gone is the fear that freezes you in your tracks, that feeling that you’ll pass out if you go one more step. She’s learnt to ignore it.

This means she’s a little forgetful at how it is to be normal, to be vulnerable and soft and squishy like students so usually are.

She has her issues, but for the most part, visitors get a laugh, a smile, a calm assertive confidence, and facts. She will indulge those who have genuine interest, or show a connection with nature, an understanding of the balance that needs to be struck for everyone to live well together.

Despite her many flaws, she’s fiercely protective, and will go above and beyond to defend the island, it’s staff, the Pokemon and the visitors. Injustice is her biggest gripe, along with littering, and she doesn’t stand by quietly if something happens that seems unfair.

You will not see her without Valka, her vulpix, close by. That Pokemon doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, at all, and will run the second someone comes at her with that intent. Peach will scold you for pushing yourself onto her, should you persistently try to get close to pet Val. They are in sync, if peach is sad, Val is sad, if Val is stressed, peach is stressed, and so on. They are inherently connected, it’s just been that long, the psychic bridge between them has been built, and reinforced over the years.

The only other Pokemon who follows her so endlessly is Booker, a teddiursa who’s pretty rough looking. He quietly trots behind, grouchy and stoic, they fight closely together a lot. He lost his mom a long time ago to poachers, and peach took him in, and changed her whole life for him. Not many people know, but Booker was the reason she left the rangers, changed career, and got so strong. Will tolerate people petting him but isn’t keen at all, grumbles a lot and tries to move away.

You may also need to know about the others, for the sake of writing, she here a few more bits that may be important to you, or others wanting to do this.

Grey is very tall, very burly, composed, tells bad dad jokes, is a bit of a goof if allowed to be. If he sees a pun, he’ll say it. Can’t help himself. Very nice guy to work with, good at keeping people calm and grounded. Pokemon are drawn to him like a moth to a flame, he gives off warm energy, and has inhuman amounts of patience. If you wrong his family however, he will snap back.

He grew up in the city, loves to swim and hike and cycle, can snowboard, is really sporty. A total brain box with held items, and boosting stats. He will explore many paths, to make sure visitors and students get the information they need, in a way that can be remembered and retained for later. Is a huge guy, but will get on the floor to play with a tiny Pokemon. Treats big “meaner” looking species like babies, very good with all pokemon.

His free time is spent either tinkering, swimming, or trimming his bonsai trees. This guy stares at screens a lot, so appreciates time away from them. Peach built him his own little greenhouse for his trees and tools, which he keeps clean and loves dearly.

His methods as a teacher are built around fun and games, he makes hard work easier to do by distracting trainers from the difficult bits, and focusing in on something more interesting or compelling.

His most commonly seen Pokemon would be a houndoom, Saxon, old battle veteran, retired now to herding and being a good boy. Very gentle, loves a pet.

Pari, now a fully fledged nurse, often oversees the labs front desk and pokecentre features, such as healing pokemon, and informing trainers who come to visit. Her skills with eggs and hatchlings is high, she’s great with younger Pokemon, and hands out good advice to trainers a lot. She’s not a fighter, never was, but can find any file, any study, any book, and any refrence you may need. A true bookworm, loves her romance novels, chat shows and upbeat celebrity gossip mags. Will cry at a lot of stuff, be it sad or happy.

She’s got a seriously upbeat personality, but if caught off guard or shocked, she gets a little flustered. Too much chaos will overwhelm her, but usually she’s on top of things. The years spent on the island have made her better at maintaining composure in emergencies. With lots of siblings, she’s very competent with others, and has a good ability to disarm cagey people with her jolly nature. Because of this, she can sometimes gain information from trainers that some of the more harsh professors may not have access to. Charming is a word for it.

Her partners are an eevee, and a happiny. They are quite sweet and well adjusted, the eevee gets a bit bouncy if you get it too excited.

#if you dont want to use the refs #im really cool with it #just enjoy yourself buddy #pokemon #prof.peach #peach talks #prof.grey #pari #dotaku island #dotaku staff #PLEASE #just ask me if you dont know something #or feel i missed something in what i wrote

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sooghostwriter · 2 years ago

Text

Third Name

Member/Pairing: Do Kyung Soo x OC

Genre/Type: Mature, Romance, Royalty/ Dictatorship AU, Action, Time jumps. Multichapter, SMUT.

Word count: 8534 words.

Notes: The story takes place in a made up country. We start at one point of the story and then go back in time the moment they met and how their relationship develops. Later, we will go back to the present and see how the story keeps moving. We get to read parts of Kyung Soo’s diary to locate us in time.

Summary: Anna has a plan for her own freedom. Prince Kyung Soo has one for the nation. She thinks she is meeting her enemy, he just wants to meet her. When the revolution begins he will need her help to claim their freedom.

PS: I block empty blogs.

Chapter 7

January 3, 1991

These past two days have been… wonderful.

The castle has been quiet after the big new year's party. The Order and all crown activities are on hold until the middle of January.

I've been locked in my bedroom with Anna. She arrives at breakfast and leaves after dinner. We talk to the point that by the end of the day my throat is sore. My hands are always reaching for her and kissing her became an obsession. We mold together. I love the feeling of her arms hugging my shoulders. When I rest my head on her shoulder as she rubs my ear I drown in her scent. Lemons and sun.

I want to live this for eternity.

I know I can't.

That's why I'm taking all her time.

The first thing he did when everything was back to normal and Chanyeol and Sehun were back at work was telling them about Anna. They reacted as he expected. Loud shouts and whistles.

"We are happy for you" Chanyeol told him, patting his back with too much force.

"Yeah we are, and we can help you," Sehun added.

"Really? What do you mean?"

"I know the guard at the dorms, so she can stay out without snitches telling on her, I can tell him that I'm sleeping with her or something" He didn't like the last part.

"I’m not sleeping with her " Kyung Soo felt like he had to clarify that.

"Well, not now but someday, right?" Chanyeol added with a grin.

"What I mean is that is not that kind of relationship" Both of them stared at him frowning.

"You guys are just friends?" They asked at the same time.

"No! we are dating, what I mean is that I’m not just planning on having sex with her, I really like her" Sehun and Chanyeol jumped from their sits shouting and clapping, making a ruckus.

After they were done with their teasing, yet honest happiness, they began planning the tactics to take care of the prince's girlfriend. Not only to protect her from danger but mostly to protect the secrecy of their relationship. The Order and his parents couldn't find out. That would put Anna's integrity and plan at high risk.

So for now it will remain a secret. Probably for the rest of the relationship, since he knew they had an expiration date.

January 10, 1991

Talking with Anna feels like we are both tearing down and building up walls between us. m

I'm always on the verge of sharing everything about the Clan with her. But she also seems like she is hiding something from me. And she wants to share it, I can tell that much, but she always changes the subject.

I'm fine with it. I'm insanely curious, but I understand it.

I can tell that she is completely honest about other issues, regarding me and how she cherishes me. I get flustered just by writing this, embarrassed too.

Anna and Junmyeon met after lunch at a coffee shop close to the main square. She was actually missing him since he spent the holidays in the countryside, at one of his father's properties. He greeted her with a tight hug that she answered eagerly.

Her friend invited her to a big piece of cake and coffee as they chatted about their days so far. The whole time Anna wondered if she should tell him about her and Kyung Soo. She wasn't sure of why she shouldn't or why she should. On one hand, Junmyeon's family was part of the Order, although she knew he didn't share the same ideas. On the other hand, she wanted a friend to share what was happening.

As they left the coffee shop, ready to visit some stores in search of nothing in particular, Anna grabbed his hand and pulled him to the side of the street. Junmyeon's face showed nothing but worry, she was sure that her face didn't look better.

"What happened Anna?" He asked, holding her hands between his.

"I have something to tell you" He nodded, tightening his grip.

"As your only friend, and in exchange of all the warm meals my mom gave you as a child, you have to promise me that you are not going to tell anyone about it" She told him, releasing herself from his grip to hold his hands with desperation.

"Of course! Whatever you have to tell me I will keep to myself but please just say it, I'm scared now" Anna trusted his words and after taking a deep breath, she confessed to her friend.

"I'm dating Kyung Soo " Junmyeon cursed as he covered his mouth with both hands in shock.

"You what?" He asked under his breath. She only nodded. His hands slid down his face slowly, as the corner of his mouth kept pulling to the side, forming a smile.

"Shit Anna, your father is going to kill you" He broke into a silly laugh, patting her shoulder.

"That's all you have to say, you ass?! "

"What else can I say? I'm shocked of course, it was obvious that he liked you, but I wasn't sure about how you felt, but Anna, your father is going to hate this" He kept getting interrupted by his own laughter as she was fuming next to him, this wasn't the reaction she was expecting.

"I'm not planning on telling him.. still, what we have has no future" Junmyeon looked at her confused.

"Why not?" She didn't even know where to start, probably the only thing they had on their side was what they felt for each other and the passages.

"I appreciate your approach to all this, but I would rather stay realistic. I like talking with him, spending time with him, and that's what matters, I don't want to think about the future," Junmyeon nodded, caressing her right shoulder, a thin smile on his lips.

"I think I understand, and I will keep this to myself, I promised you, but I'm still surprised…you used to spit fire at him…and now you are dating him"

"I know, and it took me some time, but his acts, the way he talks, his honesty… I don't know, I feel hopeful around him, despite all the hate I have for the crown, he makes me feel hopeful… and I like him for that" Junmyeon's smile kept growing bigger and bigger as she spoke. She was glad she had his support. But what he told her later kept resonating in her mind for days.

"I get what you mean, I like him for that reason too, you can see that he is not like his parents, we are lucky to have a soon to be king like him, but remember this Anna, the crown is there just to look nice and be the icon of the nation… the people from the Order are the ones in charge. I'm sure Kyung Soo will be an amazing king, but the Order will not allow him to do so" He took a deep breath, shaking his head with slight frustration.

"I feel hopeful too, but he can’t do this alone, he needs more people to make a change ".

January 12, 1991

Celebrating my birthday feels strange every year. I don't like being congratulated by people I don't care about, I don't like how much money my parents spend on the celebration, I don't like the gifts and I don't like the long, boring parties.

I do like the food and the greetings from the members of the clan. I like the hug that Sehun gives me and the handmade gift that Chanyeol's mom sends me.

But this year I got the best thing. A gift from Anna.

After thinking obsessively about what she could give to her boyfriend on his birthday, the answer came to her as she stared at the copy of the Bible on her desk.

A couple of weeks ago Kyung Soo took Anna to the greenhouse and gave her a couple of flowers that she pointed to as her favorites.

With red ears, he handed the small Pansy and the white peonies.

"You can press them on a book, they last longer and look prettier" He recommended, still a bit shy.

So she bought a cheap locket and changed the old chain for a pin so he could pin it to his jacket, like the medals he wore with his outfits.

Anna chose the smallest and prettiest petals of the Pansy and with the help of tweezers she put them inside the locket. After several tries she was finally able to close the locket with the petals inside.

She didn't know what Kyung Soo wanted or needed for his birthday. What could the prince need when he is the prince?. But she knew that he would appreciate a gift like hers. Handmade, simple and meaningful.

And she was right. Because that morning when they met, before fulfilling all his obligations as the celebrated prince of the nation, she gave him her gift and the smile he gave her could only mean that he was happy with his gift.

And the hug and kiss that followed left no doubts.

"Is this the flower I gave you?" He asked, taking the lock to his chest. A gesture that melted her insides.

"Yes, I pressed it and then turned it into something for you, I'm not giving it back, I'm giving you a part of me or something like that, I don't know, I just thought you would…" Kyung Soo cut her speech short with another very grateful kiss. There was nothing she liked more than kissing him. How sometimes they were so close to each other that they would suddenly start kissing, not even remembering who started. She would just focus on running her hands down the curve of his back and enjoy the feeling of his fingers in her hair.

He kissed her one last time and rested his forehead against hers.

“Thank you, I love it” He whispered, still smiling.

“I know is not a lot”

“Anna, it's so much, thank you” She gave up on apologizing for her small present and just accepted that he was happy.

“I wish I could spend this day with you” He complained.

“I wish I could give you an amazing birthday,” She said, playfully. He giggled adorably.

“Maybe next year” He adventured.

“Next year for sure” Kyung Soo held to her promise, knowing it was impossible. But he wanted to believe.

He was able to free himself from his birthday obligations a little bit past ten. His body, mind, and soul were exhausted. It was moments like this where he felt the most contradicted and guilty. His parents showered him with their honest love as he planned their fall. He received expensive gifts and had to hug the people that subdued the citizens he was trying to save.

His birthdays were never his and never meant more than the pass of time. But there was something different now. In his right pocket, he was holding on to the gift Anna gave him. A piece of her, as she said. It felt warm and heavy between his fingers.

He opened the door of his room and his body felt something like an electric shock as he stepped inside. He stood still, scanning the room, searching for any sign, any sound.

Everything around his bedroom was in the right place and the usual calm of his room was the only thing greeting him, but the feeling was still there. He knew there was someone in his room. And if that someone was hiding, it couldn't mean anything good. He had already sent his friends to their rooms and by protocol, he should have left his room and sought help. But his instinct, and maybe a bit of ego, made him grab one of the decorative swords on his wall and walk inside the room. Whoever was inside, was probably hiding inside his wardrobe or in the bathroom. The first one was clear, so he took two wide steps towards the bathroom door. As he lifted the sword, ready to corner the person that broke into his room, he recognized a familiar scent.

"Anna! " He shouted, opening the door and finding her standing behind it, nervous, but still smiling sweetly at him.

"I wasn't sure if it was you, so I hid, sorry if I scared you" She apologized, looking insanely cute yet slightly scared by the sword in his hand.

"How did you get here? What are you doing here?" He grabbed her hand and took her out of the bathroom, dropping the decorative piece on the floor.

"The passages, of course, I came here so we could spend the last minutes of your birthday together" She checked her watch with a pout but smiled when she noticed that they still had an hour left to celebrate.

"Thank you, I would love that" He kissed her cheek, but lingered there for a couple of seconds, taking in her perfume. It wasn't an overpowering smell, but it was there.

"I tend to go a bit overboard with my perfume when I use the passages, I don't want the smell of humidity on me" She explained herself, smelling the sleeve of her jacket.

"Don't worry, I like it" He didn't tell her that he recognized her by her scent to not make her even more aware of it.

Slightly drunk by her delicious perfume, he told her the one wish he had for his birthday.

"Stay with me tonight" Anna smiled wider and accepted his invitation.

After sharing with her the events of his day, Anna borrowed some warm clothing from him and got in bed. The view of her tucked under the covers, watching him as he changed into his pajamas made him almost tear up. It felt so domestic and intimate.

"May I ask you some questions and just chat before we fall asleep? " She asked, hugging him and resting her head on his chest.

"I would love that, " She giggled adorably. That night there was a sweetness pouring out of her that made her cutter and softer than before. As he hugged her he felt as if he was taking in and sharing that sweetness.

"Kyung Soo, do you want to become the king?" Anna wanted to learn a bit from him. To grab a hold of why he acted the way he did. To understand, and hopefully, support.

"I do" He lied instantly.

"Do you want to be like your father?"

"No, " He answered honestly.

"You want to change things right?" It felt like there were several seconds between each word. She was still not sure of what she could ask and what was not appropriate. Not because he was the king, but because she didn't want to make him feel suffocated by her curiosity, she had already taken too much.

"I… built myself up to make things different, yes, to make things less violent, to give some freedom, if not full freedom, to our country, yes" Confessing that between the walls of the castle felt dangerous. He held his breath for a second, waiting for the guards of the Order to break into his room and take him for treason. But nothing happened of course.

"I see" Was the only thing she said. But the way she hugged him spoke louder. He had her support.

"Is that even possible? How do you rebuild a country after such abuse? " She asked the question he had asked himself several times and still couldn't fully answer.

"We are not big enough to gain the interest of other countries to support our future democracy. Neighbors help our decedents and sell some of their products to us, but that's as much as they do because we are not profitable to anybody, we have no mineral to exploit, no natural resources, we are just some novelty, a country that lives in the past, where kings and queens are not just a reason to sell souvenirs" Kyung Soo's anger and disappointment made her feel anguished.

"We could have a political system like some of our neighbors, with a senate, house of commons, we could have a representative republic, granting powers to the executive, choosing a particular person who could hold their authority for years in an honest yet committed way, but we have to be careful because if the ruling party is military or aristocratic, it will demand a monarchy, that could be constitutional, but it would inevitably deteriorate into absolutism, like how it happened 100 years ago" Anna incorporated on the bed, holding on to his chest, her eyes sad.

"You are part of the aristocracy, you speak as if you couldn't be part of the healing of this country, I thought you wanted, I thought you were planning on doing it after becoming the king" Her voice sounded accusing, and when Anna saw his pain, she was quick to clarify that she wasn't disappointed nor blaming him. She just wanted to understand.

"Anna, I think it's enough for now, I will share more in the future" He held her hand and kissed it, apologizing. Anna understood, and smiled at his loving gesture, lying on his chest again.

February 5, 1991

If none of this works out.

If somehow our dream of a free nation means harm to our people and we have to keep living like a monarchy.

If I'm left alone with my ideas and plan.

If I have to become the king, I want her to be my queen.

Since the weather was nice and he had some free time after a while, Kyung Soo invited Anna to the greenhouse so they could eat the food she liked and spend some time together. But Anna said no. She told him that her mom was visiting, but he had his doubts. He wasn’t sure why, but he knew she was lying. He noticed how Anna has been acting strangely for the last week. No one noticed it, not Chanyeol or Sehun. They even mocked him when he said it. But he could see the little changes since he was always looking at her. Her leg kept bouncing, she had few words to share about her day and whenever he invited her out during the day, she always had something to do.

His first thought was she is cheating on me, and he felt horrible for thinking that. But if it wasn’t that, there was something else going on. And he wished she was cheating on him, that would be safer for her than any other thing she could be doing.

Anna canceled on Kyung Soo for the third time that week so his mood wasn’t the best. Right after dinner, Chanyeol dashed into his room telling him that Minseok needed him at the Clan as soon as possible. They immediately went down into the humid passages leaving Sehun at the castle to cover for him.

When he arrived at Minseok’s office, he greeted Kyung Soo with a shit-eating grin. He immediately got annoyed.

“My friend, sit down,” He said, grabbing him by the shoulder and taking him to the sofa where they used to sit.

“Minseok, what is going on? Is there a problem? You are scaring me and annoying me so please tell me what you need to say '' Minseok smiled at him, emphasizing his feline features.

He stood in front of him, with his hands behind his back and a weird shine in his eyes.

“There’s a lot, and I don’t know how to start, so I’m going to start from the root of all this, or at least what I suspect is the root of all this” He stared at the ceiling with a cute pout on his lips, organizing his ideas.

“At the very beginning of the year, you took Anna to the library where the Order keeps the forbidden books, right?” Kyung Soo didn’t answer, only stood up in defensive mode.

“Let me finish please, you told me she took some books with her, I told you that it could be risky, you said you didn’t think about it, you just wanted to make her happy, and I understood it… but I told you that thinking about the possibility of anyone going through her things and finding the books, saving her from that would be hard even for me…well, we worried about her safety, but we never worried about the safety of our country's peace by giving her those books” He finished with a happy chuckle and walked behind his desk pulling a bunch of papers from inside a drawer. He fanned himself with it as he approached him again, Minseok was having a great time, it was clear. Kyung Soo grabbed the stack of papers and noticed how they were bound by a rudimentary booking technique. The paper was bad, similar to the one used in newspapers and the tint wasn’t better. The first two pages were blank, and the third one had written in big bold letters Animal Farm by George Orwell. Kyung Soo read it several times and began examining the rest of the copy. He found the exact copy of his favorite book, two pages on one sheet, small font, but big enough to read without getting a headache.

“That’s what has been circulating around the lower neighborhoods, someone from the Clan brought me this copy and says that there are more, he doesn’t know who is giving them away or who is making these copies, but I think I have a good candidate”

“You think it was Anna?” Minseok opened his arms and laid back on his seat.

“It’s a good option, no one is bringing them from outside the country, already checked, you gave her a copy of that book…”

“But how is she getting it copied, this requires some kind of printing device” He interrupted him. Minseok noticed the anxiousness in his friend's voice, so he walked to his side and sat next to him, speaking softly and calmly.

“Well, I wanted to talk to you first before I give the order to investigate, we don’t even know how many copies are circulating, but we are sure that the Order doesn't know about this”

“Investigate, I need to know if it’s her so I can protect her, don’t stop the books from circulating, but this can’t reach anyone from the Order, so keep an eye on that” Minseok nodded once and grinned.

'You can also ask her, you know? " Kyung Soo loved Minseok with his entire soul, but now he really felt like punching him.

“I know I could Minseok, I could clear all our doubts tonight, but also I don’t want to expose us and most importantly I don’t want to stop her”

“You should, this could be dangerous” He knew that, but whatever Anna was doing could be good for the Clan and the idea they held.

"But Kyung Soo, look at the bright side, you are dating a book terrorist, it’s a couple made in heaven” Kyung Soo chuckled bitterly as his friend patted his back.

"You think she is trying to rattle things up? Put an idea in people's heads? if that's the case, I like it, bring her here I would like to meet her" Kyung Soo kept shaking his head as Minseok spoke, that wasn't a possibility.

"I don't want her to get involved, she has a life plan, which reminds me, is Yixing still at international affairs? " Kyung Soo stood up, feeling his knees wobble as he did.

"He is, in a higher position now, why? " Minseok followed him and walked behind Kyung Soo around his office.

" I would like to meet him, I have a favor to ask, " Minseok stared at him, asking for an explanation.

"It's related to Anna… she is going to apply for the exchange program in a couple of years and I'm sure she could get it, but I need to make it happen this year" His friend looked at him as if he was from another planet. He didn’t want to explain himself or listen to a more rational mind like Minseok’s, so he left before his friend could make him change his opinion.

Despite everything fitting like perfect pieces of a puzzle, they couldn’t be completely sure about their suspicions. The original book could come from outside, or they could have found it hidden somewhere, although Kyung Soo was sure that Animal Farm never made it into the country. But if Anna was doing it, she was clearly working with someone, someone who was making the copies. That would also explain why she was so busy, coming out with excuses as to why she couldn't meet him.

But although he was shaken by the news, he wasn't shocked by the idea. He knew Anna was brave, reckless some would say. This was very dangerous and quite a hard quest. Something that could or couldn't be planned in advance but that required an effort to erase every single trace so nothing could connect the books to her, or them.

And as a weapon, this was incredibly damaging. A book like that one, in the hands that needed it, could plant a seed that could start a deep change. He and the Clan did something similar, but with different approaches.

Thinking about Anna being the one behind this, coming up with the idea, and planning the whole thing made his heart rumble, mixed with the fear he felt for her and the love that filled his body.

The next day he met with Yixing and it took him a couple of minutes to arrange Anna’s departure during the first semester.

February 18, 1991

Writing about what happened last night would be disrespectful to Anna.

And I don't need to write it. The memory will live in my head, skin, bones, and heart for the rest of my days.

Today I gained a third name.

"Kyung Soo you need to tell her" This was the tenth time Chanyeol said that in the last ten minutes.

"No, this is just a meeting, bureaucracy, she never asks about details, I don't want to say the real reason to her" His friends shook their heads at the same time.

"No, you have to tell her that this is a marriage-related meeting for two reasons, this is the first one you have, so people will talk about it, and second… I may tell her by accident" Kyung Soo punched him in the shoulder as Sehun laughed.

"Kyung Soo, tell her, she will understand, " Chanyeol insisted, after having his laugh.

"I don't even know how to say it, Anna I'm meeting the daughter of my father's best friend because they want us to get married… what if she gets mad, what if she wants to break up with me" Kyung Soo's desperate face made his friends giggle.

"If she finds out through a rumor, she might break up with you, if you tell her beforehand, you get better chances " Sehun had a good argument, but just imagining himself sitting down and telling her about his marriage meeting turned his stomach up and down. For some reason, he was scared of her. After all, she knew how to use a sword now, and she was incredibly good at it.

Anna was starting to slowly lose her cool whenever she had to train with Kyung Soo. Not only did he look incredibly handsome training, always with a serious face and never making a mistake, but also he used the sexiest outfits to do so. It was always dark, high-waisted pants and light, silk shirts. The pants always framed him perfectly, and his shirts were sticking to his damp skin in the right places. She even had steamy dreams about it, too often for her own good.

When training, she always teamed up with Sehun. He wasn't the best teacher, Kyung Soo was, but he wasn't a competitive freak like Chanyeol.

She was honestly surprised at how good her training went. They kept telling her that she had improved in such a short period of time. She noticed how her moves were quicker now, her coordination was sometimes as good as Kyung Soo’s and she felt stronger than before. The training was actually working and quickly she understood that the sword does become an extension of her arm.

They often meet a couple of times a week to train, but that afternoon the only ones that made it to the training room were Kyung Soo and her. He said that Sehun and Chanyeol had things to do, but she knew him enough to know that he was lying.

As always, they shared some snacks after training. Although this time Kyung Soo brought more than usual. That, plus the lie about his friends, the overall nervousness he showed, and the fact that he was having a hard time trying to meet her eyes assured her that something was wrong.

“Kyung Soo, it’s everything alright?” She made sure to ask in a way that gave him the possibility of choosing what to share and what not to share. He could simply say yes, or say no, and add the details that he wanted to add.

“Everything is alright…but I have to tell you something” She left her half-eaten pastry on a napkin and turned around on her seat, facing him. Kyung Soo remained looking at the floor.

“My father is taking me tomorrow on a short trip outside the city to visit a friend” He took a deep breath and went on.

“This friend is a daughter, around my age, and they want me to start dating her…so she can become the queen in the future” She stared at him in shock, she was not expecting that, and she was certainly not expecting her reaction.

“But you are dating me” He was surprised by her comment and was finally looking at her.

“Yes I am, this is just a formality”

“But you are still going to share time with another woman, another woman who I’m sure wants to be the queen” There was a voice in her head telling her to calm down, but she liked this way more.

“Anna this means nothing, it’s just a meal” He sounded calm, trying to calm her down.

“I know...but knowing your parents, this is not just a meal it’s just the first meeting until the wedding” She stood up, angry and desperate. Kyung Soo followed her, holding her hand.

“Anna, that is not going to happen”

“It will, and I shouldn’t care, but I’m so jealous and so angry, I already despise her, you…”

“I’m your boyfriend, nothing is going to happen, it's just a meal, I promise" She turned around and met his honest eyes, looking at her, beginning. She held his face between her hands, feeling sorry for Kyung Soo. Anna didn’t want to blame him, but she was upset and shocked by her reaction. The jealousy, anger, and just loss of better judgment. Kyung Soo always affected her like that.

“There’s no way out?” She asked, kissing him, so maybe he could quit all this. He shook his head as she let go of his lips. He didn't let go of her, hands on her waist, holding her closely. The frustration was making her chest hot, she wanted to throw a fit, scream, and cry. But Kyung Soo kept caressing her back and waist, knowing very well how calming that was for her. She wanted to keep kissing him, to forget what was going on and just make him hers.

That thought rattled something inside her. She opened her eyes in the kiss, feeling possessive, and deepened the kiss, biting his lower lip and sliding her tongue inside his mouth. Kyung Soo released a little moan that made her cling to him and let herself go.

She could change the stakes.

She changed the deep kisses for short pecks all over his face, enjoying his goofy laugh as she did.

“Kyung Soo” She whispered against his lips “I want to stay with you tonight” This wasn’t the first time they would do that, but Kyung Soo was smart enough to notice that it was different this time.

“You... You want to?” She nodded, kissing him again, although his nervousness was stopping him from answering back.

“I want to…and I want more, but I don’t think I’m bold enough to say it, or ask for it” Kyung Soo hugged her, whispering something she couldn’t hear. As she felt his lips on her neck, a hot wave spread from her lower back to the rest of her body.

“Let’s go,” He whispered against her skin. He grabbed her hand and pulled her with him to the big door of the training room. She had to stop him, pulling his hand, having to use all her force.

“We can’t just walk out of here, someone could see us, let’s use the passage” Kyung Soo laughed at his own foolishness and this time walked her to the door of the passage, still with the same urgency.

They stood in the middle of Kyung Soo’s room in silence. They were now safe, alone, and nervous. So nervous that Anna’s hand was shaking in his.

“Are you alright?” He asked, worried as always.

“I am, I’m just nervous, excited too, it’s your door locked?” He nodded.

“Then what do we do now?” Kyung Soo pondered her question for a while and pointed at his bathroom.

“May I take a shower first? We were training, and I don’t want to be all sweaty” Anna's eyes shone with an idea.

“Let’s take a shower together, it will break the ice” Kyung Soo looked around and held her hand with some hesitation. She assured him that it was alright, grabbed his hand with the firmness he was lacking, and took him to his bathroom.

Anna began taking her top off, confident but in a hurry just to get over it. She noticed that Kyung Soo wasn’t moving. She hurried him and he only giggled, she hurried him again and he began unbuttoning his beautiful silk shirt. This was such a dear fantasy of hers, so she stopped his hands from doing so, and began to undress him herself. Kyung Soo said nothing, just let her do what she wanted, looking at her with warmth, although when she brushed his lower abdomen as she pulled down his pants, his eyes narrowed and went darker.

She kissed his jaw as she got rid of his underwear. Kyung Soo finally touched her, placing his hands softly on each side of her neck, so soft she thought it wasn't real. He pulled her gently to him and kissed her. First as delicate as the brush of a feather, only to grow more desperate with each breath. Sucking on her lower lip and grunting at the shy movements of her tongue against his. He held her against his chest possessively, running his hands over her back, and kissing down her neck, over her collarbone. She arched her back, guiding him in the right direction, but Kyung Soo didn’t follow. She knew him enough to know that he was grasping to his last strands of self-control, and she didn’t want that. She held his round face between her hands and asked him what was wrong. He avoided her stare when he confessed that he was feeling wary.

“We have been together for a while now, you should touch me more,” She said as she grabbed his right hand and put it on her left breast, still covered by her thin bra. The change in his face, the sudden light in his eyes, the blush on his cheeks as his lips formed a soft smile left her breathless, feeling even more possessive over him.

“I just don't feel like I deserved it,” He said under his breath.

“I get to decide that” She kissed him again, taking off her bra and guiding his other hand to her chest. Apparently, all wariness was gone since Kyung Soo was now pulling down her pants, not caring about buttons or zippers. His desperation amused her and made her want more, growing as desperate as him.

In between kisses and groping each other, Kyung Soo walked them to the big shower in one corner of the bathroom. The warm water washed down their tired bodies, enhancing their heat.

Each stroke, every move of their hands cleaning soap from their bodies let the tension build and build. He kissed her shoulders, back, and arms, licking the water from her skin. She washed his abs, shoulders, and back, pressing her naked body against his.

When they were fully dry, they broke into desperate kisses. Grabbing each other, breathing into each other's mouths. Kyung Soo lifted her from the floor and took her to his bed. He sat her on the edge of the bed and stood between her legs, brushing her hair caringly as he stared at her with the most lustful stare she has ever seen.

Kyung Soo held her face, this time with some intensity, and pulled her to him. She almost immediately leaned back into him, hugging his waist as he kissed her. Anna used her tongue to trace over his lips and taste his mouth. Kyung Soo sighed through her mouth, his fingers wounding around the back of Anna’s neck and pulling her closer. She was never close enough. It took some begging and loving banter to make him sit on the bed so she could straddle him.

She kissed his forehead and caressed his ears. Kyung Soo began tracing the skin of her thighs as she dragged her hands over the taut muscles of his chest and arms.

“You are so beautiful” She commented, kissing the tip of his nose. Kyung Soo chuckled as he started raining kisses all over her collarbone, moving his mouth down her chest and taking one of her nipples into his mouth. She moaned loud for the first time that night. She even surprised herself, covering her mouth involuntarily. Kyung Soo did the same with her other breast, but this time, held her wrist so she couldn’t cover her mouth.

“I’m the only one who can hear you, don’t cover yourself, let me see and hear all of you, would you?” His big, pleading eyes looking at her from between her breasts were all she needed to just fall under his mercy and do whatever he wanted. She would give him anything he wanted and do anything for him. Anna held his head and guided his mouth to her breast, so she could moan again for him. And she did until her skin was marked by his mouth.

The possessiveness she felt over Kyung Soo kept pumping her with confidence. And the way he responded to her caresses, the undulation of her hips on top of him, and his moans and grunts made her eager for more. Anna grabbed his hand and slid it between her legs. She gasped as he slid two fingers inside her and then pulled them out, rubbing her clit slowly but firmly. He commented on how wet she was, followed by a breathtaking kiss.

"You have no idea what you do to me," She told him, simply and honestly. He called her name a couple of times, softly and sensually.

“Touch me” He asked her, kissing the corner of her lips and licking his way down to her neck. A hot shiver ran down her body as he sucked on the skin of her neck. Her right hand slid down his chest and she felt his muscles tightening under her fingertips with anticipation. She slightly twisted her hand and brushed his hardening cock with two fingers. Kyung Soo’s breath shivered on her neck and his hips thrusted slightly, seeking her touch. She did what he asked for, how not to, and groped him softly. She gasped as she felt him for the first time, surprised by his hardness and size. Not that she was expecting anything, she never thought about it. But now she was pleasantly surprised. Her boyfriend smiled at her reaction, looking down at her hand touching him.

“You have no idea what you do to me” He copied her.

Anna began experimenting with her hand. Amazed by his body and how it reacted to her. From his skin to his voice. She slowed down and ran her thumb over the flushed head of his cock. Kyung Soo tipped his head back, and Anna was absorbed by his Adam apple bobbing up and down. She wanted to suck it, but Kyung Soo stopped her from doing so by pushing her on her back and getting between her legs.

“I promise you a long night, so please let me have you now” She liked how he gave her orders and begged her. They were just starting and he was giving her such a range of charming reactions that fitted quite well with his day-to-day personality. Kyung Soo was a man of contrast, and the way his hands were touching her and his lips devouring her was proof of that.

Anna felt so weak. There was no reason in their whole existence that could make her say no to him. Kyung Soo was her only weakness, the only person or reason that could make her forget about everything and act irresponsibly, even going against her believings. She nodded, capturing him with arms and legs and kissing him so deep that she felt as if she could suck his soul through his gorgeous mouth.

Kyung Soo kissed her gratefully before he pushed himself up, away from her. He stared at her naked, flushed body for a couple of seconds as he rested his hands on her hips pulling her to him. Her stomach tightened as his finger rubbed her clit to then slide it inside her, and then another finger, and then another, stretching her. She needed more, and she urged him for more. He groaned, frowning in a way that always took her breath away. And when he rubbed his cock with his hand covered with her wetness she felt as if her heart and lungs stopped functioning. It was so incredibly erotic and dirty.

She felt like they were too young for such overwhelming passion.

“Breathe” He whispered as she felt the tip of his cock rubbing her folds. She arched her body, bringing him in and moaning loudly.

“An…Anna” He stuttered as he slid inside her. Her mouth fell open, her hands twisting the comforter. The rhythm of her breathing began to quicken when his hips began to roll. First testing, seeking. But that didn’t last long. Soon he rested his hands next to her head, holding himself firmer so he could drive his hips harder. He started breathing heavily as she began moving her hips with him. She wanted him closer, his chest against hers, his skin melting with hers. Anna pulled him down until his arms gave up and he dropped his body on top of hers, followed by his goofy laugh.

Kyung Soo began pressing soft kisses over her shoulder, moving his hips slower but deeper. Anna held him, fingers carding through his hair as he fucked her slowly but firmly.

“Don’t stop, your majesty” But he did the opposite, coming to a halt and cracking a smile of disbelief. She smiled back at him, trying hard to hold her laugh, his reaction was priceless.

“Are you kidding me, Anna?” He asked, amused, although his voice held a smidge of exasperation. She burst into laughter, grabbing his lovely face and kissing him softly, still laughing.

“Kyung Soo let me do that much, I know you don’t like it, but I do, maybe I have a kink” Anna caressed his cheeks and neck as he stared at her with a mocking smile.

“Anna, you hate the monarchy, how can that be your kink?” He kissed the palm of her hand and then down her arm until he reached her neck, and began sucking on her skin as he began moving his hips again, making it hard for her to answer.

“I don’t like the monarchy, but I like you, and I like the prince you are, and maybe, just maybe, I like the fact that this country girl is sleeping with our nations prince” He grunted, giving one hard thrust into her, hugging her by the shoulders. She brought her legs higher so he could reach deeper and hid her face on his neck.

“Damn it, Anna, you are driving me crazy, all this because of that dinner?” His voice sounded rough and desperate, his movements and touch strong and possessive.

“I’m a jealous woman I guess” She ventured between moans. Maybe she wasn’t, maybe she was just small and pity. Or maybe she was too deep into him. It wasn’t a confession that made her proud.

“Don’t change, take me” Then she understood the words Kyung Soo had told her between those walls. She understood from where his desperate voice and the harshness of his moves came. She wanted him just as much, if not more.

“Kyung Soo” She called his name, almost screamed it, and used all her strength to turn them around and push him on his back, straddling him. He looked at her with half-hooded eyes, licking his lips in such a sinful way that it made her clench her walls around him. The moan that followed made her repeat the move until Kyung Soo couldn’t take it anymore.

“Fuck Anna, move” He growled, fingernails digging against her hips as he lifted his hips from the mattress. She rolled her hips experimentally and was delighted with the way it made him hiss, closing his eyes with pleasure and throwing his head back. He cursed when she began moving her hips quickly and with short strokes. Kyung Soo wasn’t someone who would just stay there, she knew that well by now, so when he began thrusting upwards, filling her slowly she began moaning loudly, her head falling forward as he grabbed her hips tightly. They started moving with the same rhythm. Their movements got rougher and rougher. She loved the feeling of his hands holding her so hard that she knew she would get bruises. Anna held his hands so he wouldn’t let go of her.

She rolled her hips, thrilled by the sensations. Each time he cursed, she answered with a moan, increasing her speed. Soon, wet sounds began filling up the room. She felt the sensation swirling in circles, building itself around her thighs as she bucked her hips harder and harder.

It took him some convincing to make her let go of his hands so he could touch her. She didn’t regret it. He sat up immediately, bringing one of her breasts to his mouth, sucking on her hard nipple as his hand played with the other one. She held onto his shoulders, bringing him closer, kissing his forehead, and caressing his ears and nape. He let go of his nipple with a loud pop and brought his fingers to his mouth, holding her stare as he sucked them to then brought them down to her pussy.

He began stroking her in time with her thrusts, bringing Anna closer and closer to her release. She only managed another two more thrusts before she came with a shudder, unable to control her hips as she rode her orgasm, gripping his hair with the furor of the moment.

Kyung Soo growled and hugged her waist as she clenched around him. He voiced his need with frenzy and he encourage it, whispering in his ear. He pushed her on her back and climbed on top of her, going inside her easily and driving into her, filling her so deliciously that it brought tears to her eyes. She hugged him with arms and legs, kissing him through his orgasm. As beautiful and mighty as he was.

She wanted to own him, mark him, create a necessity, give him something to thirst about.

And for what? You are leaving anyway, a voice repeated from somewhere in her consciousness. But Kyung Soo’s lips and shallow thrusts distracted her.

His fingers caressed the side of her face gently as she nuzzled on his shoulder. Her touch still felt hot against his skin. He offered to put on some clothes, but she refused, so they got under the blankets naked. Anna stuck to him immediately, hugging him in a way that could feel asphyxiating if it wasn’t because he was already addicted to it. He wanted her closer, all day, all the time.

“Kyung Soo” She called his name softly. Anna asked him about the time, concept that right now was completely foreign to him. He ignored her question and asked her the important things.

“You are going to call me by my name? Just by my name?” Anna didn’t understand his question.

“What do you mean just by your name? You don't like it?” He liked it. He still remembered the first time she used his name. And since then, every time she used her beautiful voice just to call him, he rejoiced in it. But now, just being called Kyung Soo by her was not enough.

“My mother and father call me son, Sehun and Chanyeol call me Kyung Soo, the rest call me your majesty, you have to be different” He expected a merry laugh from her, but of course, she took it seriously.

“How do you want me to call you?” He knew how he wanted to be called. In his dreams, she always used that word to refer to him. It was scary to recognize it, but he felt confident with Anna.

“Love” He whispered, hiding his face in his hair.

“Love, why?” She lift her head from the pillow and looked at him with a warm smile.

“Because that's what I am to you, right?” She bit her lip and smiled, closing her eyes and giving a low squeal.

“Yes, you are right, it's the perfect name for you, my love” Kyung Soo released a sigh of relief. Now he was Kyung Soo, our majesty and love. He had won a third name. And it was just hers to use.

He kissed her. Just a little peck to thank her. But that could never happen, especially that night. Instead of pulling away and going to sleep, Kyung Soo deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth. Anna wrapped her arms around his neck and sank them deeper between the sheets.

The warmth, her scent, and the taste of her mouth made him curse internally. It was going to be so hard to let her go. It was going to physically hurt him not to have her anymore.

TBC

#exowritersnet #exosnet #Kyungsoo #kyungsoo fanfic #exo fanfiction

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deitiesofduat · 2 years ago

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Can we know more about Nephthys? I’m so curious about her. And Isis too, they are my faves alongside Thoth lol. Will we get more in depth into her mythology or how you see her as well throughout the project?

Sure, though I admit I’m not sure what more to share about Nephthys that I haven’t touched on already in the blog 😂 I’m drawing a blank on what I should focus on, rather.

Aside from her new profile, Nephthys’s tag is full of information about her character in DEITIES and her relationships with others (as is Isis’s tag), though I’ve been meaning to add highlights to each of the DEITIES Profile to make things easier to find 🤔 Rather than paraphrasing everything, I’ll gather links for the ones I can recall for Nephthys and Isis for everyone’s convenience; this isn’t everything, but I’m sure 20 items is enough to work from?

Nephthys’s past relationship with Set (In-character)

Nephthys’s memory of past arguments with Set (IC)

SetNeph’s dynamic during The Contendings

Isis’s thoughts regarding Osiris’s death (IC)

Isis’s and Set’s deep rivalry

Isis’s and Nephthys’s feelings for their husbands (IC)

Isis’s and Nephthys’s relationship with their sons

Isis’s and Nephthys’s relationship with each other

Nephthy’s and Osiris’s relationship with each other

Nephthys’s relationships with Anat and Astarte

Nephthys’s relationship with other gods

Nephthy’s reaction to being booped (IC)

Isis’s reaction to being booped (IC)

Everyone’s written voice canons, I guess?? Including Isis and Nephthys

SetNeph’s Proposal (Comic)

SetNeph during her pregnancy

Some notes for Isis in the “Seven Scorpions” story mockup

Random facts about all of the gods, notably Nephthys managing seven shabti

Isis’s opinion on her nephew, Anubis

Most recently, Nephthys’s relationship with her nephew, Horus

“Will we get more in depth into her mythology or how you see her as well throughout the project?”

Oh, definitely! I always intended for Nephthys to have a key role in the main story — partially because her role is usually so minor in past adaptations of Egyptian Mythology; if she’s mentioned at all, it’s only briefly or it feels a bit hollow or dismissive, so I’d like to do her a bit better justice there.

In a way, Nephthys’s arc was/is meant to run parallel to Set’s within the main story. Part of her story was going be told thru interludes too, tho since it’ll be some time before I get to this, I’m open to revisiting and exploring more of her mythology elsewhere in the project, some other time.

#// dead eyes at how Nephthys was portrayed in her 5 minutes of screen time in Gods of Egypt.............#// Not to mention how that scene ended with her and Set. But I digress~#// I do love Nephthys tho but if I share everything I have in mind for her now I'll run out of things to mention later when it counts #// Same to Isis who has very rich lore in the mythology that would take more than few paragraphs to discuss -- so yeah; bits at a time!#Nephthys #Isis #DEITIES asks #general asks #headcanons #DEITIES text

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missabella · 3 years ago

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So this is going to be a post for my personal blog, but since it does concern Puffy and her mcyt meetup, I’m also reblogging it on puffy updates.

Disclaimer

The reason that I’m writing is because I do know that some people in the mcyt fandom (whether it be on tumblr, twitter, youtube, reddit, tiktok, etc.) are quite young and see some of those content creators as role models. This post is mostly for those young fans that are easily impressionable. Nevertheless, if my words end up changing a content creator’s behavior about this entire situation, then good for them. But if they decide to carry on with their life as before, I won’t get upset. I don’t know them, so for all I know they may take extra precautions against the pandemic behind the scene.

Additionally, I will mention some individual content creators by name in the post. I don’t want any hate to be spread toward them. If by some chance they end up seeing this post, I want them to know that I highly respect each and everyone of them and that I don’t have any ill feelings toward them

Finally, sorry if this is long and not concise. I just feel like I need to get this off my chest, and it is two in the morning where I am.

I’m a young adult that is a fan of mcyt. As some of you on mcytblr may know, my favorite minecraft content creator is Captain Puffy. I love her content and personality, and I personally identify with her since we’ve shared similar struggles in life. That being said, I actually don’t agree with everything she does in her private life, more particularly with her decision to go to the uk and to vidcon (which is now canceled) during the pandemic. But once again, that is her decision, and even though I don’t condone her decision, I wasn’t going to attack her for it.

Yesterday evening, Gee Nelly threw a birthday party; Puffy had just arrived in the UK when she attended, and other ccs (like Minx, Niki, Wilbur, and Jack, just to name a few) attended. They weren’t wearing masks, nor were they socially distancing. Some fans found out that the party was happening, and they were rightfully upset, especially considering the fact that recently Tommyinnit had gotten covid, that VidCon got cancelled because of covid, and that London (and the UK in general) had seen an increase in covid cases.

Now, before I talk about my own opinion, I would like to clear up some misunderstanding that I’ve seen on twitter. For approx. the last four weeks, you no longer have to quarantine once you arrive in the UK if you arrive from the US and are fully vaccinated. In that regard, Puffy wasn’t doing anything against UK guidelines. Additionally you are no longer legally required to wear a face mask in the UK regardless on whether or not you are vaccinated. In other words, except if someone present was actually sick with covid, then no one was doing anything illegal.

Now, here is what I have to say about this. First of all, I could care less about restrictions and guidelines. Anytime I’m in public, indoors or outdoors, I’ve been wearing my mask since March of last year. The day I’ll stop will be the day that we’ve reached herd immunity, and we are nowhere near that.

However, almost no one think the same way I do, which kind of leads to my second point; I’m not surprised at the choice made by any of those content creators in attendance. I wasn’t expecting anything more from them, for the good and simple reason that everyone in my town is doing the same thing as them. However, this doesn’t change the fact that I’m disappointed in their decision and that I would have loved for them to think more critically about this and to realize that it wasn’t a good idea.

But relatively speaking, there is little importance in what those content creators decide to do during their free time. What matters more is how we react to it. This fandom is at a point where they look up at content creators as practically perfect in every way. So of course, when a content creator messes up, individual fans will react in one of two ways.

The first way is to replicate the content creator’s mistake. This is harmful to all since neither the fan nor the content creator realize that this action is a mistake. This eventually leads to the normalization of the mistake, and once someone else realizes that it is a mistake, it may be too late to fix it.

The second way is to completely shame that content creator for that mistake. This is also harmful for both the content creator and the fan. For the content creator, this situation is stressful since they may not fully understand what exactly they did wrong. For the fan, the existence of this mistake goes against this perfect image they’ve looked up to; this will feel almost as if the entire world collapsed, because in a way, their perception of the world did indeed collapse.

As a fandom, we’ve been going with the first way for a while. We’ve tried to justify Tommy’s vlogs, Ranboo’s trip to the UK, and the Karlnap meetup. Those of us that disagreed with this behavior (myself included) have decided to stay quiet and tried to be excited and happy for them. Now that covid cases are rising globally, that conventions are cancelled, and that content creators are getting sick, we decided to start being more vocal about our disagreement. Now, I feel like this fandom is slowly starting to react in the second way.

The main takeaway from this is that we should be holding content creators and ourselves accountable for their and our own actions, respectively. Both the fandom and content creators should recognize that we should start thinking by ourselves instead of listening to guidelines or popular opinion. Those of us that disagreed with the meetups and the vlogs should have spoken up since the beginning. We should also understand that no one, even the people we look up to, is perfect, and that everyone is allowed to make a mistake. And finally, we should also stop holding content creators to such high standards if we’re not also going to hold the rest of the world, including those around us, to those same high standards.

#mcyt #covidー19 #pandemic #mcyt meetup

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autumnslance · 3 years ago

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Being in fandoms for so long yourself, do you have any tips on how to approach fandom in general? It can be so overwhelming sometimes!

Honestly avoid fandom as much as possible. 'Tis a silly place.

On a more serious note, I DO have a draft on staying sane on social media I’ve been slowly making. The main points are about knowing how your social media sites work in regards to tags, searches, cuts, filters, blocks, and mutes, and being liberal with using them for whatever reason you need. In general for this post: limit following counts and be picky about who you follow and why--don't just “follow back” because. Don’t sit in Discords that make you uncomfortable and keep utility servers to those channels needed and mute/hide the rest. I should get around to the rest eventually.

I maintain that sticking to what you love and with friends is better than trying to interact with “the fandom” at large. Especially as a property gets well known and a larger following, the vocal negative 1% seems to get louder and tiresome quickly. Protect yourself and your pals and enjoy what you wish, minimizing stress and drama and hurting real people over what’s supposed to be a shared interest of pretend characters and stories. More specifics of that below.

Limiting myself to some friends and branching off their recommendations, getting to know folks before hopping into servers or groups, helps a lot. I don’t have to engage with the entire fandom. I tend to hear about random dramas in passing, like a shadow underwater, because I interact with chill folks more interested in simply enjoying an interest, not in making it their entire life and identity and so having to be right or chase clout or whatever over a pretend world and make-believe characters, even if resonates with us.

Don't give too much of yourself away. Don't tell people all the ways to trigger you, or your vulnerabilities. Don't give away locations. Use basic internet safety and anonymity to keep folks at arms’ length as much as needed. You're not obligated to answer every DM, right away or ever. You can make some dear friends through fandom, but a single shared interest is not a guaranteed safe and healthy basis of relationships.

Focus on what you love, ignore what you don't. Yes, you want a healthy level of objectivity and criticism and sometimes you need to vent but overall, fandom experience is much better if you're actually enjoying the things you engage with. Don't force yourself to put up with things you don’t have fun with, but also let others have their fun (even if you don’t think that it is fun, if it isn’t harming other real people and dragging them down it’s fine even if you don’t get it). This can include leaving that fandom when the base material is no longer fun for you, leading to...

Remember that you don't own the characters and story; it's someone else's world, we just play in it. The creators are going to make choices and changes, some good and some bad; learn to accept that and keep fanon separate from canon. Interactions with creators via social media are also usually very surface level and parasocial; just because they make part of themselves visible and accessible, doesn't mean you know them, are friends, or are owed anything by their social presence.

Other fans have other takes; you may not like them, but they're valid. Sometimes those other ideas too can make you rethink or add to your own, make you realize some things you hadn’t considered due to a blindspot in your own experiences, and add to your understanding of characters and story arcs. So be open to others’ ideas. Find those of a like mind more or less and stick with ‘em.

Don’t let fandom ruin a thing for you. If you find yourself surrounded by a lot of negative opinions, especially about something you enjoy, you can speak up if comfortable, but if not, simply stop following/interacting. I cull my following lists regularly, and a lot of times remove people who tend to be negative about things too often for my taste. Their blog/timeline/whatever but I don’t have to interact with it. If I find my enjoyment of a thing souring, I ask myself if it’s due to the actual story/characters/how the creators act, or if it’s due to the corner of fandom I’m in and if I have to clean up and then see how I feel about the thing.

Don't assume the worst of people. I often make myself stop and reread what someone said, slowly and even out loud if I must, to make sure I understood. Go back some posts/threads/pages for context if needed. Some people are just bad at communicating. They may be ignorant of even the most basic of modern social manners, internet etiquette, and so on. English may not be their first language. I tend to assume unintentional oopses until someone makes it crystal clear they mean harm--it's generally easy to tell. Let things roll off your back; they don't know you, really, just the persona you present online. You don't know them and their issues, either, just what little you see. It's usually not worth the hassle and heartache to do more than eye-roll and move on with life.

Others won’t censor/remove everything you personally find a squick or trigger, but do advocate for proper tags, warnings, and hiding the content. Learn to skip past the crap you dislike to find the things you do; you do not have to read or view or comment or like everything. There's only so many hours in a day, and not everything is your taste.

My personal annoyance usually come from how people who engage with questionable content react to other fans being upset, especially when they didn’t take the proper precautions to warn/hide their content based on the site. Anyone who then revels in their “problematic” status and starts making their dark content “to spite antis” has lost sight of why they wanted to make that content to begin with and are acting like brats, IMO. Especially a waste when it can be well written/drawn, even if out of my own comfort area. Don’t do things for spite if you can help it; sometimes it leads to interesting things, but a lot of times, it ends up hollow and a regret down the road.

There’s likely more to this, but these are some general rules I’ve been trying to follow as I get older and realize a lot of time and emotional labor over fiction isn’t worth stress and negativity, but should be relaxing and fun, as the real world is difficult enough. Have fun and make things fun and positive for others when possible, don’t tear others down for the sake of it. Fandom is meant to be a shared interest and love of a thing, after all.

#Fandom #Blogging #About Me #Advice

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prettywordsyouleft · 3 years ago

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PSA: Extended Hiatus

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me regarding my mother’s hospitalisation and sudden hiatus. It truly has meant a lot to me to have your support <3

I did initially think taking a week off would be suffice for the blog, but I’m having to extend my hiatus until my mental wellbeing and current responsibilities to my family ease up. There is no set date in mind for my return as of yet.

(I’ve shared personal thoughts below, if you wish to read more.)

Thankfully, my Mum is now home. That being said, whilst I’ve not felt comfortable talking about her ongoing condition on here - nor do I plan to - her being home doesn’t mean she’s going to get better. We can prolong things as much as we can for her, but there’s no fix. And with her having a second heart attack last week (that I can share as I mentioned her first one back in 2018), we’ve shaved more time off of prolonging this before the next steps.

Long story short - in the future there will be more expected of me as her full-time carer, and this year alone has had me stepping up more than ever and losing a lot of the free time I once had to write and be creative.

I am being cautious about how much I share on the blog of recent times, but in the same breath, I don’t want to diminish that mental health can be greatly affected by loss and potential loss and all that. Most of my long time followers know my father was killed in 2012, so my Mum is all I have left. Naturally, it’s taken a toll on me. Being someone’s carer means you don’t always put yourself first and I’ve been running on empty for months now. With her going into hospital, everything’s sort of jammed up in me. We have an autistic teenager we have raised for many years now, and I’ve become her main carer progressively over this last 2 years too. Aka, there’s a lot going on and I’m really tired. I am seeing a therapist regularly to help navigate this difficult time in my life, and I am being well supported by close friends. Still, I felt the need to mention the above.

I also thought if I set myself goals for the blog, I’d be able to commit and bounce back into writing as a distraction from the real world. And I have written a couple of things, but it’s not the things I need to be working on for those goals. Therefore, instead of feeling annoyed with myself, I’m going to give myself some grace and take more time to recover from this scare.

If you’ve read this far along, these are the things that will be affected by my extended hiatus:

The final Soulmate September was meant to be part 4 of the Destined series. I was really looking forward to writing and sharing it with you all. I still plan to finish the segment but it will be when I return.

The next monthly theme is Occult October. Feels like deja vu. Last year was meant to be the final Frightful October with @this-song-thats-only-for-you but we had to move house and so we had to give it up. Story ideas that have waited for an entire year now have to wait again. I’m hopeful I’ll still be able to create the 4 ideas I had for October at some point before the month ends. I might only need another week’s break. Who knows.

Out Of The Shadows - parts 11-12 are done. Parts 13-15 (+ epilogue) are left to write. This will be my priority over the themes as I would like to finish this story I’ve had a lot of fun creating.

Chelle Chats will continue to be on break whilst I am.

Thank you again, and I’ll see you all when I’m feeling ready to return!

Xxx

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lightsinthedistancee · 4 years ago

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Darkness : Poe Dameron x Reader

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Words: 1.4k

Excerpt: “Darkness is a time of peace for you. A time to crawl into soft sheets, to curl up against your pilot. Some nights, to feel him lazily press a soft kiss to your forehead before his breath levels out in sleep. Others, to feel his hands roaming your body, feel him inside you.”

Summary: A short talk to Poe is always enough to cure a case of loneliness.

Warnings: Some sexual references

A/N: This is for @autumnleaves1991-blog Writer Wednesday. I actually originally meant for this to be a perhaps 500 word-ish Drabble but it ended up way longer obviously. But I’m really proud of it and love the concept of Writer Wednesday, so hope you guys enjoy! (Also, we’re just gonna pretend that phones and phone booths exist in the Star Wars universe...).

You’ve always found something lovely in darkness.

It’s simple, quiet, a constant that never changes, that rolls around at roughly the same time each night. Settles over cities and towns and every being in the galaxy in a thin blanket. Darkens faces into comforting anonymity, conceals the activities of lovers, provides peace in slumber for the weary.

There is a saying: One should not be afraid of the dark, but of what lies in it.

And after years of life, years of travel, years of experiencing the galaxy, you know that nothing sinister hides beneath darkness. No monsters, no demons, no ghosts. It is something that simply exists with no ulterior motive, something that is debatably hard to come by these days.

Darkness is a time of peace for you. A time to crawl into soft sheets, to curl up against your pilot. Some nights, to feel him lazily press a soft kiss to your forehead before his breath levels out in sleep. Others, to feel his hands roaming your body, feel him inside you.

In those times, darkness is there, still a constant. Hiding his features, hiding those eyes you adore during the daytime, allowing you to become entirely tactile, to simply feel him to the fullest, void of the distraction one’s most used method of perception, sight, provides.

Yet tonight is a rare night. Your feet hit pavement as you walk quickly, hands in your coat, head bent towards the ground. You’ve been on this Outer Rim planet for nearly two months, gathering intelligence undercover, maintaining little to no contact with the Resistance, and therefore, Poe.

The darkness seems stronger than ever tonight. It slithers up and down the sides of buildings, seems to wrap around you in strings. In this moment, it is not simply a cover—it is suffocating.

The loneliness had been getting to you. Too many days going by a name that is not your own, too many days living in constant fear, too many days away from the touch of someone that’s always able to take your mind off of everything.

And that’s exactly what you need right now. A distraction. A brief moment to bind you back to everything you know, something you are slowly, imperceptibly slipping away from in your mind. The buildings seem to tower over you, to dwarf you. It’s an intimidation act, and you feel it’s working.

It feels as if you can sink into the asphalt, become one with the soil that had been so cruelly compressed by man-made rock. As if you can sink beneath and become one with the dead, the figurative and the literal that had most likely been so barbarously worked to death to build this historic city in the dark days of the galaxy.

You round a bend, turning onto the main street, and your eyes, adjusted to the dark, flare painfully as light hits you. You snap them shut on instinct, flinching. However, the object of your discomfort is not an unknown. This route had been walked by you every day the last two months, and the light is the same phone booth you’d been using to transmit information back to the Resistance due to the anonymous, unmonitored, and therefore, rare quality of it.

It is hardly used anymore, for everyone has their own personal holos, and this one is particularly beat up. It’s translucent walls are cloudy, it’s metal backing dented. Nowadays, it is probable that is it only frequented by drunks and Spice addicts and, well…you.

There is something ironic about the fact that this small, dilapidated booth is your only connection back to D’Qar.

But not ironically, perhaps in a poetically symbolic manner, it also shines bright in the darkness, eradicates the very thing that had been suffocating you moments earlier. It is almost a physical embodiment of hope.

It is also a universal rule that hope births more hope, and an unwise desire comes over you. One that could put the whole operation at risk. But resisting the temptation, it hurts. It’s agonizing, and you want to give in to it. You want to hear one voice. One voice that can wrap you in softness, encourage your imagination to conjure up the sensation of his touch.

And before you know it, you’re in the booth, dialing a long string of numbers you’ve memorized by now. A voice of a communications officer sounds.

You state your name.

“Security code?” the officer asks.

“Six nine eight oh seven three.”

Your eyes nervously glance around. Despite having done this a few times, the experience still makes your heart race. You can only hope that any observer would see only an ordinary lone figure, silhouetted in the light, making an emergency call to a friend because she drank too much or got her wallet stolen.

“You got information?”

“No,” you respond, letting out a soft breath and lying through your teeth. “I need you to transfer me to Commander Dameron. I have a hunch regarding something naval, and I need his opinion.”

You silently chide yourself at your quickness to over explain.

But luckily, the communication officer says nothing. “Transferring now,” he says.

You thank him, leaning against the inner wall of the booth, hovering the phone directly next to your ear. Moments of silence pass before a voice breaks it.

“Hello?” says Poe.

Every point of tension in you seemed to relax in a moment as your eyes slowly close. The timbre of his voice washes over you, through you. “Hey,” you whisper.

“Sweetheart?” He sounds confused. Above all, tired.

“Did I wake you?” you ask, feeling bad all of a sudden. The high that had been coursing through your veins moments earlier plunges back to the ground. The intensity with which you feel it is irrational, yet nothing in you mind is steady.

“Yeah, but that’s okay,” he replies, a slight urgency to his voice. “Is something wrong?”

You picture him in your shared bed back on D’Qar, shirt off like usual. Propped up on one elbow, sheets falling to his waist, holo to his ear, concern on his features. Concern at his love calling him in the middle of the night, her voice shaking.

“Nothing’s wrong…I just…I….” Your voice trails off, and a silence a bit too long elapses.

“Baby?” he asks.

Your breath trembles slightly as you let it out. “This was a mistake,” you mumble. “I’m sorry, just—“

He interjects at the tone of finality in your voice. “Hey…don’t go, sweetheart.” You hear him shift, perhaps sitting up. “Just talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I miss you,” you blurt out. You’d meant to say it more eloquently, less directly, but that’s not something you have the energy for right now. “I miss everyone back on D’Qar. This assignment…it’s the most least contact with base I’ve ever had, and—why am I even telling you that? You know that.” You let out a frustrated breath, gathering your thoughts. He patiently waits, something you’re grateful for. “I’m just…having a hard time. That’s all.”

His energy transmits well through the phone. He’s thinking, the gears in his mind turning. You can feel the helplessness, for there is undeniably little he can do. “I miss you, too,” he finally says. “It’s a few more weeks, baby. I know you’ve got it in you…”

It’s a simple sentence, yet nearly reinvigorating in a way. Nothing that immediately lifts your mood, but perhaps something that briefly abates the hollow feeling within you.

“I’ll be there the moment you’re back.” His tone is soft, a little raspy with tiredness, slightly reminiscent of the way he tells you how much he loves and how amazing you are in a post-sex haze of exhaustion. It’s an odd relation, but the sense of peace that both tones hold is something you always cling to. “I’ll be there to kiss you. To hold you.” He pauses. “To take you to bed….”

The way his voice, on the last statement, walks the line between humorous and genuinely seductive makes you laugh quietly. It’s neither a common nor desirable combination.

“There’s that beautiful laugh,” he says softly, letting out a breath, returning to his previous demeanor. “I’ll be there, baby. I know you know that.”

You nod even though he can’t see you. Air brushes past your lips as your eyes flutter shut. “I know.”

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

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Based on this Writer Wednesday pic:

#Writer Wednesday #poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #star wars #star wars fanfiction #poe dameron fanfiction

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