#i wrote this whole thing out about the robots but then remembered i have a whole running list of leddlabs inspiration i coulda pasted over

[cfrog]

OC-tober Day 19: Inspiration

[full prompt list]

I've got a lot of fun tech inspirations for each of my robots. Each of the bots has a different purpose and was built at different times, so I try to use real technology to demonstrate that.

Nautiloid is named after and inspired by EVNautilus, a real deep-sea research vessel that does livestreams! Though, Naut looks nothing like that fancy box. I did try to make it more practical and simple looking; this is a bot meant for actual science. Their eyes are inspired by both those dome-shaped security cameras and also seal eyes, especially the baikal seal. I imagine their vision is lower-quality than the other two, but they've got that 300-degree vision like a prey animal.

[the autism creature became a trend after I designed Naut, but it would fit here too]

Xiphoid is mainly inspired by that sleek modern tech look, think Apple products. This also fits with their doctor vibe, there's lots of medical robots nowadays with that same fancy look, and Xiph's basically an overcomplicated set of robotic arms. Their eyes are based on expensive digital cameras, complete with apertures (portal reference lol) and shutters. Then I went and made them more like slit pupils like a snake, to match with their Medusa hair.

[these robots are also furries]

A little bonus, for their cyborg design I gave them see-through sections like that clear electronics craze back in the day.

[your circuits are showing 😳]

Viroid is. A virus. So they've got all the Matrix hacker cyberpunk inspo. That includes the screen eye, where they get to display little emotes. I was most inspired by like protogens (that's right, even this one's got furry influences) and other screen-faced robots. It's a popular choice, extra sci-fi feel.

[This is the closest ive got to a real-life Vi example]

Other than that, I just tried to make Vi look as emo as possible. They don't have any "real" or "practical" tech inspirations, I think it makes them look extra out-of-place. This thing's only job is to look cool af.

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

Within cells, interlinked (Miguel O’Hara x Ai/Hologram! Fem! reader) Part 1

Hiii! Very excited about this bad boy, this is inspired by K and Joi’s relationship in bladerunner 2049, and this panel from 90’s run of the Spider-Man 2099 comics. Also there is some heavily implied (at the very least one sided) holofang (Miguel x Lyla) at the beginning, if that isn’t your cup of tea, then I’m sorry but that’s how I wrote it. Not proofread, enjoy!

(Y/N)-Your name.

Implied (one sided???) holofang, Lyla is like basically dead, mentions of sex work, cursing, Miguel being a sad lonely lonely man, ansty (if you squint), Miguel being a little mad scientist like at the end. Tbh idk really know what to tag these as.

Word count: 3k

Part 2

Masterlist

Playlist I listened to while writing

—

Neuva York 2099.

A dystopian wasteland that was once a pristine and other worldly city. But, like every other beautiful thing, it would be destined to fall, thanks to Kingpin, who now had the city under his thumb. Straile white buildings that once stood tall, crumpled and decayed, being replaced slowly but surely with dark titanium steel. Holographic projections filled the sides of ugly skyscrapers, advertising anything and everything, ranging from restaurants and video games to Ai women and cyborg upgrades.

Miguel’s original Ai assignment was unfortunately no longer functional, her software having been corrupted due to a virus that was released onto Miguel’s suit during a fight with Doc ock, Miguel having no other choice but to terminate her software, putting her out of her misery. It not only set Miguel back from his usual tasks as Spider-Man and his work at Alchemax, but the whole spider society, Lyla being the one who controlled the whole mainstream to the entire operation, along with help from Spider-Byte, but she couldn’t run the whole society technology wise, she had a life outside of her role there.

If Miguel had the time, he would have done what he had done the first time, and redesign her from scratch, raising her from her nonexistent grave. However, he knew he didn’t have the time. He had spent months programming her, not to mention the years it took for him to upgrade her into what she had become. It’s only been a week, and he could already see the cracks that were forming without her to hold it all together. His universe was already in disarray, he didn’t need another thing to crumble into dust in his hands.

The walk from the Alchemax back to his apartment was meant to help him clear his head, but it only dampened his mood more, bitter cold air and large dark clouds rolling in slowly, threatening to pour down on the decile city. Keeping his head held high and eyes forward despite his desire to go deep into a dark alleyway and swing the rest of the way home, keeping the tension in his temples build up with every sleazy salesperson attempting to sell him a sketchily low price for random gadgets that he was certain was stolen, or sex workers attempting to coax him into a small brothel. All kinds of lives walked past him as he ventured home, humans, cyborgs, full robots and AI holographic companions, a million life stories that could be told.

Less and less began to cross his path as he neared his apartment building, eye bags dark and sunken in as he turned his head to the left, he was now alone on the sidewalk, stopping as he put his hand on the railing that lined the evaluated walkway, he remembered not even 10 years ago, that very spot would look out to a beautiful pond, small ducks that pattered around, families gathering around to have little outings, ones that Miguel only ever really dreamed of. Now, all that was a ginormous digital billboard that would switch advertisers every week or so. Although he never really expected they’d project the one that was on display now. He had to squint a bit so that the now dripping rain didn’t get into his eyes as he watched the projection.

“The perfect companion, the perfect coworker, the perfect partner. Joi, your personal Ai. Everything you want to hear, everything you want to see.” The sentences rotated between each other over and over, Miguel stayed silent as he stared mindless at the naked back of the large Ai hologram, their skin admitting a light glow as she sensually ran her hands through her hair. Despite the words “companion” and “coworker” showing up on the ad, it was painfully obvious what the holographic woman was really meant for.

Still, he caught himself unable to look away, despite seeing the ads hundreds of times prior to this moment. He didn’t even register when the Ai had turned around and squatted in front him, making it so the two were at eye level.

“Hello handsome.” His eyes finally drifted up to meet hers once she spoke, he wasn't very fond of the default version they often used on most of their ads, so seeing this version in front of him was a lot more of a nicer sight to see. “What a day hmm?” When he didn’t respond she just came closer, “you look lonely… I could fix that…” She whispered with a head tilt, “you look like a good Joi…” before getting back up and moving away from Miguel once more.

Maybe it was the stress, maybe it was his way of pretending he wasn’t mourning an algorithm, maybe it was just him being tired of carrying everything on his shoulders, still… his eyes slowly went down to his orange watch, moving it in front of the bare glowing figure, before his free hand slowly hovered over the watch, hesitating for a moment, before pressing purchase.

—

Once Miguel got home he spent the next hour or so reworking your programming, jailbreaking and removing restrictions, wanting to make sure you were prepared to handle the society’s system before he even turned you on to make sure you wouldn’t crash the second you were hooked up to it.

Eventually, once everything ran to meet his expectations, he stood back and waited for you to appear in front of him. Waiting impatiently as he watched the small loading circle chase itself until you appeared, although you weren’t fully “awake” still, eyes closed, head slumped forwards and arms hung limply to your sides. Still needing to be given a name, an outfit and if he desired to change anything from your physical appearance he could. He decided to keep your assets the same, and placed a simple outfit on you, deciding if you ever evolved enough to be sentient on the same level as Lyla was, that he’d give you free range to change it. For a name though, it was a bit harder of a choice.

Maybe it was him having his previous one for as long as he did, but he wanted you to be… different, then her, a name that wasn’t, well, Lyla. Something nice and pleasant to say, but not simple enough for him to forget in the midst of him in a fight. After some pondering, he finally typed in the name into his watch and pressed the “finalized model”. Releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he saw your head slowly begin to lift and your eyes slowly fluttered open.

“Hello Miguel.” You said him a smile.

“Hello (Y/N).” His lips twitched upwards for half a second.

—

It took a while for your program to adjust and be accustomed to the database, he never realized how much strain he put on his older Ai until he watched you try and accommodate the same thing, yet then again, he built it all around her, instead of vise versa. It wasn’t just you who had needed some time to adjust though. The amount of times that spiders (including Jessica and Miguel) would call for Lyla still instead of you was starting to… annoy you for lack of a better term.

You had been patient at first, appearing despite the slip up, simply correcting the person who called for you and going on with the request, then it seems that the patience started to run thin. Rolling your eyes or letting out snarky little remarks, then eventually you just started to not respond unless they called you by your actual name, which only led you landing yourself in a lecture from Miguel, being threatened to reboot your system. Him ranting about how it could be dangerous or something, after the first few times, it stops being fear insulating, once you even let out a yawn at his usual lecture. A yawn. How close he was to throwing his desk across his office.

The longer you stuck around the more knowledge you gather, the more self-aware you become, mimicking human thoughts and emotions, reading anything you could get your digital little hands on. From the words of Ancient Greek philosophers to thousands of different articles on how the human brain works, what different areas controlled what. You found humans quite interesting, such complex yet flawed creatures, you can understand why so many filmmakers and authors who write science fiction have some odd variation of robots wanting to either become humans or destroy them.

It’s almost cliche, but you can’t help but develop the same fascination with Miguel. How could you not? You were quite literally around him 24/7, you could tell he wanted to be taken care of when he wasn’t taking care of everything himself, and who were you as his assistant to refuse?

—

“Welcome back Miguel.” You smiled as you appeared next to the door before he could even step foot through its threshold. Your eyes followed him as he took his shoes off and threw his keys on the coffee table in the middle of the living room, landing with a loud clunk.

“I just saw you back at HQ.” He chuckled, shaking his head as he closed the door behind him before he made his way to his kitchen, “It's been 20 minutes.” He added as he turned the corner, being met with you already there, leaning against the counter as his coffee machine was already pouring him a new cup in his favorite mug, with the stove being lit on for him to place his left overs onto to warm up.

“Being greeted when you arrive home helps boost your overall well-being.” You quipped, which only gained a small hum of acknowledgement as he placed a pot of bistec on top of the open flame, and a bowl of leftover white rice in the microwave.

“It could also help boost my overall well-being if you didn’t act like such a brat half the time.” He countered back as he stirred the streak and potatoes to make sure it didn’t burn before turning to face you, meeting you with that all too familiar smirk he always gave you. You were quick to mirror it. “You're supposed to make my life easier, ya know?” Despite it being a rhetorical question, your smirk only widely more.

A silence fell over the kitchen as he goes back to focusing on his food, you just stay there, watching as he made quick work fixing his plate, mumbled a small “sorry” to you everytime he would “bump into you” (as Miguel liked to call it) despite him only passing through your holographic body as he grabs the plate and cup of coffee and goes it set it down at the table, making sure to be fast as to not hold onto the gradually warming glass crockery long enough to burn his rough hands.

With a sigh, he sat down in front of his plate as he heard the faint noise of your projection deactivated from the kitchen, leaving him alone in the quiet home of his. He’s fork moving around the contains on his plate, piercing the potatoes and steak but never lifting it up to bite into the steaming meal. After a few more moments of playing with his food, he placed his fork back down, keeping his eyes down on his plate despite him lifting his head up.

“(Y/N).” He called out after cleaning his throat.

“Yes?” Your voice called back out, ringing through his apartment as he waited for you to reappear, only to let out a huff when you didn’t.

“…have dinner with me?” When he finally looked back up, he was met with you already in the chair across from him, a digital plate of food replicating his in front of you. His lips twitched up as he whispered a light thank you for entertaining his wish, even down to mimicking eating as you both sat there, his eyes never leaving yours.

After his appetite was satiated, and the dish were washed, he wander to his living room, being met with the sight of you already being sat down on one of the small leather accent chair that sat to the right of the coffee table, a small orange tablet-like screen being held in your hands as you tampered away on it, most likely readjusting tomorrow's schedule or researching more on some random topic you found interesting. Leaning against the doorway, he couldn't help but watch you, admire you. He found it humorous that you chose to physically sit down and read about topics even though you were built with the knowledge of practically everything. It made you feel more… real. It made him feel less insane when he found comfort in your company.

“Would you like me to leave you alone mig?” You asked after a second, eyes never leaving the screen in front of you. His heart stopped for half a second when you called him by the nickname as he shook his head.

“¿Qué estás haciendo?” He asked as he made his way towards you, stopping once he was close enough that if you had a physical being, his legs would have been touching your knees. (What are you doing?)

“Just going over your suit diagnostics, I’ve noticed that it’s been lagging a bit.” You hummed, not even fazed by the close proximity.

“…(Y/N).”

“Hmm?”

“Look at me.” He commanded, but his tone is still somewhat soft with the order, your screen evaporating from your hands as you went to meet his gaze. He hesitated for a moment, leaving his dry lips before finally continuing. “You know, I feel like I don’t appreciate you enough.”

“Miguel, I’m your Ai assistant, my whole purpose is to help make your life easier.” You couldn’t help the slight snark that came seeping through your sentence, causing him to let out a scoff and playful eye roll.

“That’s not what I mean, you know that.” He countered with a head tilt, his hands sliding over his thighs and finding their way into his front jean pockets.

“What do you mean then?”

“What do you think I meant?” Now it was you who let out an eye roll as you huffed.

“Miguel, you know I can’t ‘think’. I’m not human, I can simply process and collect information and recite it back. I speak only in facts and unbiased sources.”

He couldn’t help but hate it when you talked like that during casual conversation, despite the deadpan look in your eyes and the small sass in your infliction, it only reminded him that you weren’t real. The only difference from your body and air, was that you were a set of ones and zeros. He could swat a hand through your body and you would simply glitch around it as it interrupted your coding and it attempted to adjust around him, how for once, he wishes that when he would “bump into you” that he would be met with solid flesh, you stumbling back a bit while you scold him, his hand coming around to met the small of your back to help re-stabilize your footing as he lets out a small chuckle.

“Don’t be a smartass with me (Y/N). You know, most humans I know don’t have the ability to think either, and they for sure aren’t as nearly intelligent or knowledgeable as you are. If they can form an option then you can too.” He was met with your face contorting in confusion, a rare expression on your face, one he appreciated when he got the opportunity to witness it. “I want you to think, give me an original thought. Not a statistic, not a fact. Think for yourself (Y/N).” The was a pause before your lips parted.

“I… I think…”

“Thaaaat’s it…” He leaned forward, his face close to yours as he encouraged you to continue in a low whisper. “I think?”

“I think… that if I was a human, that… that I would be in love with you Miguel.”

Oh.

“(Y/N).”

“Yes Miguel?”

“Shut off.”

“Yes Miguel.”

Within a blink, you were gone. His hands came out from his pockets with a heavy sigh, before he rubbed his face and ran them through his hair, causing the semi-neatly slicked back hair to become desiveled. Glancing around the now empty living room, the small constant buzzing from your hologram now being replaced with the gentle tapping of the rain against his window.

Miguel O’Hara was truly a lonely man. A man with weaknesses and flaws despite himself, a man with feelings, and vulnerabilities and emotions. Miguel O’Hara was just a man, just a human. A human who wanted to be loved. To not be seen as some sort of emotionless being, the irony wasn’t lost on him that the only thing that seemed to really care for him, and see him in that way was something that wasn’t even programmed with actual emotions. Oh how he wished you were real, how you were human.

He couldn’t turn you into a human, but he could get close.

With a sigh he entered his home office, the only room he had restricted giving you access to appearing in. Closing the door behind him before leaning against the door, his eyes instantly finding themselves stuck on the limb on the table. An arm to be more specific, the synthetic flesh that matched your complexion wrapped around its exoskeleton. It took him almost a month to do just one arm, and although the time length of that he estimated for this project was a bit more lengthy then he’d like, if it meant getting every minuscule and minute detail perfected, he’ll take all the time in the world for it. He’d make sure it was perfect, that you’d be prefect.

—

Tags: @oscarissac2099

[sukinapan]

honestly would be pretty interested in hearing about all of them, if thats alright

it's no problem o( ❛ᴗ❛ )o i like talking about this

for context, apart from making personal art i'm also an artist and character designer at Smarto Club, so I don't know if these count as OCs but i have posted art of them here: Haco from >Bubblegum Galaxy and Teacup from >Teacup.

you can check the steam pages on those games for more info if u like. i love all my characters but i don't usually make personal art of these two since i already do it as my job.

my newest Smarto Club character is a bit different since she's more in the style of what i'm doing personally so i want to make more art of her soon. her name is Abigail:

she's a kid who likes reading about bugs and catching them but she never hurts them : ) this is a short game in early development but it's about catching creatures called angels. it's got horrorish vibes but i don't think the end result will be full-out horror, since it's also kinda silly...

then there's Peklo, it's a game for which i created the whole concept and story but the plan is to develop it as a studio at Smarto Club. i wrote more context for it on this post, but for the characters, they're my favorites to make art about at the moment. the main ones are Kiku (the cat) and Mi (the bunny):

i recently created these human forms of them for fun but i'm not sure whether i'll establish them as canon or not... they're trapped in limbo/hell so there's space for them to have a past human form. they don't remember their lives but Kiku feels a deep sense of regret about things unkown to her and wants to break out of Peklo. Mi feels trapped in an eternal sadness, she longs to see the ocean, she can always hear it but has never been able to reach it.

the antagonist in Peklo is a frog entity called Guppy but i haven't really shown him outside of his froggy logo

i also have OCs from my smaller games. there's Hlina that i created specifically for >this game that was commissioned to me for a zine. i don't have any plans to use her again for now but i might make more art of her in the future for fun. she's part of a strange dream realm and is hostile to the player:

there's iro from the >game with the same name who's my oldest game OC. i created that bitsy game for her story but she existed previously in my art degree final project, it was a version of the same story but just a section of it. it's a dream of mine to create a full-fledged 3D game for her some day.

she's a bit of a defective space exploration robot, sent to explore planetoid Iridium-3 in search of human contact. it's set in a future where humanity has dispersed among the whole galaxy so lots of groups have lost contact with each other.

my latest game OC is Michtat, a wizard cat that i created just for this silly zine.

lasty, there’s the characters from my comic that I’m working on, called The most distant planet. the main characters are Victor and Mitya, two 9 year olds whose families end up living together.

i'd say these are the dearest characters to me of all. i don't post as much of them because they're mostly in the shape of comic pages and it doesn't spark as much interest as my games. i love drawing them though.

they’re both little weirdos who isolate themselves and don’t fit in much with other children, so the friendship they develop is very special to them. they have almost opposite personalities where Victor (darker hair) is very shy and dorky but also very sweet to everyone, while Mitya mostly gives 0 fucks about what anyone thinks or says, he blurts out whatever he’s thinking and just wants to run around wild.

the story is mostly slice of life-ish but there’s also a science fiction element ^-^ Victor is obsessed with things like ghosts, aliens, etc but Mitya thinks it’s all just dumb tales.

another important character is Alyosha, Mitya’s 17-18yo brother. he doesn’t know how to talk or relate to his little brother and is kinda weirded out by him. they where very close when they were younger, but when Mitya was 2 he had an accident that Alyosha feels guilty about, and has been somehow different ever since.

he still worries about his little brother and how isolated he is, though. at the beginning of the story the two of them live alone with their grandma who does love them but has kind of a cold and distant personality. 

Alyosha was the type of kid to be considered “gifted” but now feels completely burnt out and had to repeat a grade at school. he felt so humiliated by this he eventually stopped going entirely, so he now works part time and just studies at home. he cut contact with his old classmates but he still has 2 best friends from the last few months he spent at school in the grade below, Manon and Min Na. they’re the kind of friends who just show up unannounced at his house and job, and are very involved with his family’s life.

i’ve also included Min Jie in some art, she’s Min Na’s younger cousin and comes into the story later:

i should have like character sheets and stuff for all of these OCs but i’m the kind to just jump head first into drawing/modeling lol, that's why i included all these finished illustrations.

i really wanna publish this comic, i’ve been working on it for a long time and i’m currently waiting for the results of a public funding application here in my country to decide what i'll do next.

hope this could be of interest (^人^) thanks for the ask!

[stripedstarsblueflags]

Goodbye to a World

reading between the lines of the various goodbyes and dismissals to logan sargeant

Pt. 1: Williams App

full series

i don’t have to say a whole lot about the end of july. the wait is over! our second seat for 2025! carlos’s video which was professional and respectful and obligatory. williams garage’s video, which was appalling and shameful and disgraceful. we remember, we were there. something to recall, though– you guys remember how there was NO logan announcement? like NONE? we scoured social media like we were stalking our ex and there was nothing?

so we though– or at least, so i thought. i didn’t find the official logan departure announcement until weeks later, and i’m going to have to do this off the top of my head since in the past few days it’s been taken down, but i finally fucking found it– it’s in the williams app. hard to find because you have to scroll through five or six videos first, all under the category:

every time i genuinely think okay, this time it really can’t get worse, we smash through rock bottom like it’s a chassis in australia and hit another. even looking at this old screenshot makes my blood boil. i’m not going to be very coherent so let’s just break this down and phrase all the fuck-ups in a list:

- the only way to find the message is if you have the app. if you PARTICIPATE IN MORE TEAM MARKETING/PROMOTION PLATFORMS. you have to have an account, too. sainz gets eight posts on every single social the team can admin at once, including links, but logan’s post is essentially an easter egg.

- logan’s goodbye post isn’t its own post, it’s included in the sainz category. he doesn’t even get to be an individual figure leaving the team; he’s an event, he’s a side effect, just a domino tipped by another much more important decision. the end of his entire future is a footnote. it’s causation. it’s collateral.

- his cute lil article? it’s titled Thank you, Logan: His Williams Journey. it’s not even titled about logan. it’s williams saying “hey! look at us lovely guardian angels 😌 see how we took this poor little bird under our wings 😊 we’re so philanthropic and generous 😊 read along and find out all the amazing things we did for our little buddy!” it’s promo. it’s propaganda. in the midst of their announcement that he’s being kicked to the curb they take the opportunity to pat themselves on the back for everything they’ve done for him. it’s not enough to bury him alive, they had to dance on his grave too.

- i think there’s a good chance a robot wrote this. either that or they picked the most unoriginal journalist they could find.

that’s just humiliating. a thirteen year old on wattpad describing someone’s eyes as cerulean orbs makes a more captivating point than this.

- james consonants has one quote in the article. he’s the only one who’s quoted. the rest of it is about logan’s carer in junior series with williams driver academy. the last sentence is:

this is going to be more relevant in the posts ahead, when jv pops off once again. but can i also say how revolting it is that the message comes from james? when logan gets dropped early the wording gets a little different, but in the initial announcement (if you can even call it that) it’s all about james. what james has to say to logan specifically. williams’ whole thing is that they’re a family team, birds of a feather that stick together, they have each other’s backs and love and friendship and lalala all that bullshit. one would THINK it would be in their best interest to remember who they are. but nope. instead we get james making a point to single himself out so that he alone gets to show off how kind and forgiving and gracious he is to logan and the lack of a team statement gives the implication that the rest of the team didn’t even care. didn’t even notice. of course that isn’t what’s directly communicated but how sloppy and careless can you get with the wording that that message can even be interpreted IN THE FIRST PLACE?

all in all, williams is telling the world:

logan is not even worth effort. it’s not enough that they’re going to abandon his strategy, give him the shittier car, ice him out in his own team, not give his car any upgrades until over halfway through the season… they’re going to make sure we know that he isn’t even worth good writing. the lack of respect and decency and acknowledging someone as a human being with a sentient presence in the world is so severe that even on the fucking internet, where all they literally have to do so much pr and image management, they don’t have the words.

williams is making sure we all know: logan is so worthless he’s not worth taking the time to say that he’s worthless. they talk about underperformance, and this is the way they treat their team members. their fucking drivers. the faces of the brand.

it’s almost comical. it’s unbelievable. if someone was writing this in a story and i was proofreading, i’d tell them to tone it down, because at this point the antagonist is becoming too villainous to be believable; they’re a caricature, a parody.

but no. this is actually happening.

(to be continued)

[sleepyleftistdemon]

(CW: mental health issues, gender dysphoria, disassociation, suicidal thoughts (and actual suicides), and maybe more)

I've been thinking about putting up my story for Pride Month. I started typing in this whole thing in someone else's post, but I didn't want to hijack it. (Although it was talking about some of the stuff I am putting here.)

Some background:

I was a military brat growing up. That means that I moved around a lot. That means that I didn't have the same groups of people around me, except for my parents and sister. Therefore, nobody could recognize my issues since most people thought it was just the way I was.

I am on the autism spectrum. That means (for this stuff at least) that I don't really do self-reflection well. Add that to the above point and... yeah.

Because I wasn't diagnosed with autism, my parents thought I was weird, weak, and an idiot. Oh they didn't say anything like that, but you could tell that's what they thought. I heard "You're old enough to know better" so many times. But I never caused major issues, so they thought that I would always do what they said.

When I was in single digits (1970s), every time I took a bath I would spend time trying to shove my p*nis back into my body. It didn't belong. So I was already experiencing gender dysphoria even back then.

I was miserable and without a reason I could recognize (not having heard of trans people). "Fortunately" while still in single digits, I found a character on a TV show that knew how to handle negative emotions. The show was "Star Trek", the character was Mr. Spock, and the method was repression.

So I was okay for a while.

In 10th grade, repression turned into (undiagnosed) depression, something else that nobody (including me) recognized. I thought it was perfectly normal to think about suicide when I had homework to do.

(I even remember the assignment that was the last straw. It was to write a romantic scene for English class. I wrote a note on it, telling the teacher I never wanted to see it again. She thought it was about how bad it was. I didn't tell her that it triggered me.)

After high school, I joined the military. It wasn't because I wanted to or anything like that. My parents wanted me to join and, with my depression, I really didn't care what I did.

After serving 4 years, I went to college. I was struggling a bit, so I went to get tested for ADHD at the student health center. (I had read up on it, including how a lot of people with ADHD were mistakenly diagnosed with depression. Ironic, really, because...)

I was diagnosed with disthymia, a chronic, low-grade depression. I got medication (Zoloft) and tried therapy. Since I was repressing and didn't realize it, I got nothing out of therapy, but the Zoloft worked enough for me to function.

Imagine, if you will, a wooden boat with a figurehead (me) on the bow. (Is that the right word? If not, deal with it.) Before the Zoloft, the boat builders put the figurehead almost completely underwater. I would come up for air, but it was difficult. After the Zoloft, it was like the workers moved the figurehead right at the waterline. I would have good and bad times, but they were all still under a cloud of depression.

Speaking of imagining things, do you remember the tiny alien controlling/riding in the robot in the movie "Men In Black"? Another thing that I did (and since I don't know when I started, so I'm just gonna put it here) was I pictured something similar like that for me. Except instead of picturing myself as an alien, I pictured myself as a small piece of dimmed light "no bigger than a flake of dandruff". (And I put those words in quotes because that is the exact wording I used.)

That, BTW, is called disassociation.

I the 2000s I got married to a woman that my parents hated. My parents disowned me because I wouldn't divorce her, thinking it would shock me enough to do what they wanted. Instead I disowned them right back by changing my last name and didn't attempt to contact them again.

My dad died in 2010. I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral. It wasn't until years later that I found out that he probably killed himself due to having early onset dementia.

After that, my mom got into more regular contact with me. She lived until her suicide in 2016. (She had bipolar disorder and I learned later that she had attempted suicide earlier. And that both of my parents cheated on each other during their marriage.) My ex-wife (yes, we did divorce but not because of my parents; she was hooked on opiods and had Borderline Personality Disorder) died the same year.

(I tried to get her (ex-wife) help, but she didn't want to change. After being left at work since she had the car AND finding her passed out on the toilet with drugs she got less than 2 hours before she was supposed to come get me, I had had enough.)

Anyway, that gave me a date where I felt I could commit suicide. I would be able to live a day longer than either of my parents (who I said saw me as weak), thus proving that I am stronger than they were while still not having to deal with my depression forever.

You know what saved me? One of the posts I read here on Tumblr a while back. The original post said that like women who buy fake p*nises, men can buy fake breasts. A reply to that post said that many men who bought those turned out to be trans.

I really didn't think that I was trans. I ordered fake breasts from Amazon and tried them out. They seemed great, but they weren't an actual part of me.

I wrestled with the thought that I might be trans. I asked myself if I was a woman if I'd still want to die. (The answer, BTW, was no.)

It wasn't until 2 months later that I went to a nail salon and got my nails painted that I experienced gender euphoria. Using the figurehead imagery from above, it was like the figurehead was at the top of the bow, riding proudly on the ship. Instead of seeing myself as smaller than the flake of dandruff, I pictured myself as a gingerbread woman inside the shell of a gingerbread man (keep this in mind).

It also reminded me of the single digits me in the bathtub, miserable without the words to say why. Repression sucks.

Since I am a veteran (and since it's cheaper than health insurance), I get my healthcare from the VA. I talked it over with the psychologist (or psychiatrist - whichever one can prescribe medicine). It took a while (mainly to get me comfortable with it) to see an endocrinologist. (Well, first I had to see a therapist to answer questions to make sure I was a good fit. When I brought up the gingerbread visual, she said that many trans people use the gingerbread imagery to help describe what they're feeling.)

So in May of 2024 (last month from when I posted this), I finally started on HRT. And while my depression is starting to creep back in (HRT doesn't work overnight), I realize that I am finally on the right path for me and my happiness.

(Of course, with all of the new transphobic laws and such coming into effect, this is also a stressful path. But it's the only way for me to go.)

I do hope this helps people, whether to know they aren't alone (for people still in their egg) or to help the transphobic people out there to see that trans people are just people, trying their best to get through life as painlessly as possible.

[nyhti]

Woahg!! I just read Brave and the Bold #182 (1982) "Interlude on Earth-Two" again and I did not remember this robot at all! Why I'm excited about this is because I wrote this long post over here about how I believe the mannequins that Hugo used in Prey are just the robots he used in Gerry Conway's run, but this adds a whole new layer to this theory! Okay, so the point of that older post was to examine how the perfectly life like robots that Hugo used to mess with Bruce's head in Conway's run turned into the mannequins that Hugo used to mess with Bruce's head in Prey. I gave a timeline then of how I thought everything went, but I guess we'll have to update it now with a new entry: Brave and the Bold #182 (1982) "Interlude on Earth-Two” Alan Brennert writes a story wherein Earth-2 Hugo uses a Batman robot he happened to find at the Batcave to battle against Earth-1 Batman and Earth-2 Robin and Batwoman. Robin and Batwoman are unable to fight the robot, because its perfect resembles to the real Batman fucks with their heads. Batman #356 ”The Double Life of Hugo Strange” (1983) Gerry Conway writes a story wherein Hugo creates perfectly lifelike robots made to resemble Alfred and Dick and uses them to fuck with Bruce’s head. Batman annual #10 ”Down to Bone” (1986) Doug Moench writes a story wherein Hugo uses his robots to fight Bruce and Jason. Last Pre-Crisis Hugo story.

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #11-15 ”Prey” (1990-1991) Doug Moench writes a story wherein Hugo uses mannequins made to resemble Thomas and Martha Wayne to fuck with Bruce’s head. First Post-Crisis appearance of Hugo and also an edgy reimagining Now, I don't know for sure if Gerry Conway read Interlude on Earth-Two, but it seems more likely than not when you compare this story to The Double Life of Hugo Strange. Hugo started appearing in Conway's run only some months after Interlude on Earth-Two and the takes on Hugo and events that take place are very similar between the two stories and I was going to write about all of them, but this thing got kinda long, so I'm just gonna cut it down to just the robots. I think it's pretty clear that Conway got the idea for the robots here. Hugo had never before displayed so much as an interest in robotics or really in anything mechanical to begin with. In his first story where he used that giant fog machine, he didn't build it himself, he had to kidnap someone to build it for him. The things he did himself during Golden Age were always related to drugs somehow. The serum that turned people into monsters, the chemical that made people scared... That was his area of expertise, not mechanics. The robots in The Double Life of Hugo Strange were always odd to me. They just seemed to come out of nowhere. Especially since I think Conway wrote Hugo well otherwise. It makes a lot more sense now, knowing where they originated. It doesn't make since for Hugo's character that he would suddenly make something he shouldn't be able to or even be interested in, but it makes sense why Conway added them in. It's so so so so much fun to track down ideas like this. Like you see Hugo use mannequins in Prey and then you realize the mannequins are actually just the robots Moench used earlier in Down to Bone and that he got them from Conway's Double Life of Hugo Strange and that those robots seem to have been inspired by a random Batman robot from Interlude on Earth-Two. A journey.

[synthleeius]

Tickletober day 4 - weak spot

skipped out on yesterday srry omg. i wrote the intro and then got SO unmotivated it was fucked up but enjoy rhis

Pairing; lee!gwen lee!hobie (PLATONIC)

When people have bad days, they usually don't like to make it known to people. But.. when Gwen swung into the window and slammed it shut behind her, it wasn’t too hard to tell.

“You ‘right, Gwenny?” Hobie asked with a curious tone, glancing up from.. whatever he was doing. It was hard to tell with the mess of mechanical parts scattered across the table.

“I'm great. Amazing, even.” She grumbled, bending down and untying the shoes she borrowed from her temporary roommate.

“If you say so.” The taller shrugged, going back to fiddling with the robotical parts in front of him. He was interested, dare say worried.. but, he wasn't one to push it. Gwen looked back, siding her mask off before sitting down on the busted up couch next to Hobie.

“..What are you doing, anyways?” The spider-ghost asked, staring at the bits and bobs he had. “Stuff.” He shrugged, seemingly a bit distracted. “Did ‘ya wanna talk ‘bout it, then?”

“Nothing to talk about, just.. bad day. Like, really bad.” She admitted quietly, pulling her knees up to her chest. Hobie let out an understanding hum, before wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He was still mostly focused on his little project, sneaking glances at the girl once and a while before speaking up.

“So what, you jus’ wanna watch me? Bit stalker-ish, don't ‘ou think?” The comment made Gwen chuckle softly, rolling her eyes. “See, that's why we can’t have nice things.”

“Whatdou’ you mean by that, huh? You sayin’ that we’ve never had good times? I beg to differ.”

“You're putting words in my mouth!” She exclaimed, shoving his torso with her elbow. Even with the playful banter going on, Hobie noticed she was at least laughing.

“Yeah, and ‘our the one laughin’ ‘bout it, ay? Bit rude I think.” He responded, finally pulling his arms away from his work and pulling Gwen closer to him.

“Yeah, whatever yo-..” Gwen paused at the rare affection, letting a final laugh out before dropping her weight onto him. “Whatever you say.”

For once in her life, she didn't hear a snarky come back from Hobie like she usually would. She looked up with a concerned look, tilting her head. “..Your looking at me weird.”

“Yknow, you don't need to worry about me– wait. hobie, no.” Her worry soon morphed into a giddy expression, shoving his hands away from her torso. She knew that look too well to do nothing.

“I ain’t even done nothin’ yet!” Hobie laughed, holding her in place. “If ‘our not gonna talk ‘bout it, I gotta find a way to cheer you up don’t I?”

“Ihi’m fine!” She assured him, “amazing, actually!”

“That's what ‘ou said when you walked in, remember? Can’t be usin’ the same old excuses Gwendy, cohome out of it now.” He let out a chuckle at the playfulness, his fingers curling up against her sides.

“Hohobie!” She giggled loudly, half from the anticipation and the other half from the sensations. He was barely touching her, too.

“Yeah, what?” He asked, more focused on his hands than her words. His hands laid flat out on either side of her ribs, his fingers gently scratching over the spider suit. “See, this is what I’ve been teachin’ that Miles kid. use your whole hand, not just your fingers. You heard from him?”

“Stohop!” She whined, pulling her hood over her face to end just below her bottom lip. “Come on, can’t just leave me hangin’ like that. Answer my question, yeah?”

“Ihi hahave! Yehesterday- that's so bahad Hobie!” Gwen arched her back away, squirming in his hold, “Sohomewhere else!”

“Is it stop or somewhere else? You gotta pick one, can’t do both can I?” He replied snarkily, but still complied and switched to spider his fingertips down to her hips.

Her laugh died down a bit, but not to a complete stop. “Hah.. yohour hohorible!” She giggled, “evil, evehen.”

“I'm evil? I'm Spiderman. I think I'm angelic, actually.” He said with a scoff, squeezing her sides. “And, ‘our pretty rude yourself yknow. You slammed my window!”

“Ihi didnt mean too! Juhust- cahan you stohop that?” Gwen rolled her eyes, her body repeatedly flinching away everytime Hobie played out the motion of swiping his thumbs up to reach her stomach before travelling back down.

“Nah, don’t think I will. I’m comfy like this, thanks though Gwendy.” Hobie said as if her request was merely an offer to him, before moving up to scratch his nails in the middle of her tummy.

The girl gasped, her giggles shortly turning into a full blown laugh after. “This your spot then, ay Gwen? Ironic.”

“fuhuhuck yohou– shihit!” She whined, her legs kicking out against the arm of the couch

“HohobiHIE! stohopstohop- Yohou fuhuhucker!”

“you fuckkkeer!” Hobie mocked her American accent, “You non-brits have the most shittest insults yknow. Honestly, I’d rather you call me a twat.”

Soon his fingers came to a stop, moving to pull her hood back down to her neck to make it easier for her to take the air in. “You ‘ight there, luv?”

“Yeheah,” She replied, breathy giggles still escaping her. “Thanks.”

“Ay, had to cheer my drummer up somehow right? Can't have you being all mopey now."

[thetalltranstiefling]

I WROTE A THING POST-S2 ENDING BYE

(tw: brief self-harm, severed limb mention, death mention)

“Fuck off.”

The words Taylor said to Nicky when it was all over. “You’re a loser. Go away. You’re not a part of this family.”

And those are the words Nicky hears in his head as he’s kneeling in the flaming pit of Hell, watching his mage hand cut off his remaining arm over, and over, and over again before it regrows no problem. 

Another voice rings out, of a much younger child wishing to please his father. “Y’know what would fix this, man? Some weed, dawg. That always makes Dad feel better, right?”

It’s accompanied by a third, flat and perfectly consonated. “Have you no sense? That won’t solve anything. Listen to me instead, my Dad says-“

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” Nicky slams the flat of the sword into his own head, hard. Enough to knock him over into the ashes of his discarded limbs, all parts of him, but broken and disconnected. The ringing in his ears drowns all the voices out, letting him think for a bit. Kind of. 

He realizes at a certain point, lying with all these shattered pieces of the past he once was, that the ringing is no longer coming from his ears, but instead from his pocket. His phone. He pulls it out and clears his throat before answering, not even bothering to check who it is because 90 percent of the time it’s Glenn butt-dialing him. But instead of the drunken slurring and usual crashing sounds he’s expecting, he hears the voice of someone who knows him all too well.

“Hey…it’s Cass…” is all she says.

Nicky wants to cry and start rambling on about how good it is to hear her voice and how much he misses her but he chokes it down and just responds, “Hi Cass…it’s Nicky.” God she knows that you sound so dumb she’ll think you’re drunk and hang up!

“Can we just talk?”

She didn’t hang up. Nicky sits up, “yeah, we can talk…” He climbs out of the pit of severed arms to sit on the edge, looking down into it. “…what do you wanna talk about..?”

Cassandra sighs, watching through the window of her house as Taylor leaves for Norm’s house, where they’re having tapas to celebrate the win. She promised to join up with him, but… “I just… You never really told me why exactly you left. -I mean I kind of have a general idea. It’s not because you didn’t love me or Taylor, or anything like that. I know that… I guess, ‘for your safety,’ isn’t really a good enough answer for me. I think I have a right to know the full story.”

“Of course, yeah, of course you do… Well I… Uh,” Nicky doesn’t even really know where to begin. “Well… Long story short, I’m a tiefling from Hell- you know that-“ he has a brief flashback from their first meeting, swords flying, “yeah, and, the guys wanted to do the whole Code Purple thing on Hell, and I told them no, and Terry shot my arm off, and it didn’t come back ever-“

“Yeah, severed limbs don’t tend to,” Cassandra flexes the robotic hand she recently got calibrated. 

“Yeah…”

“Okay, but that doesn’t answer the question.”

“Sorry, sorry, I’m getting there, I didn’t mean to end there- fuck I’m messing this up, I’m sorry-“

“Nicky.”

His voice cracks a little and he hates it, “yeah?..”

“It’s okay. Just slow down. Take some deep breaths.”

“Okay.”

“Do you need me to count?”

“No…”

She knows he’s lying. “Breathe in. One, two, three. Breathe out.”

She hears him exhale on the other side. “Good. Again.” They do this a few more times before she says, “now I’m assuming after that fight with your friends was when you came home.”

“Right…” Nicky remembers standing there in the doorway, Cass coming from the other room holding little Taylor, big grey eyes looking at him, oblivious to what was happening. “Not you, loser.”

“Why didn’t you stay?” Cassandra’s voice pulls him from his thoughts again.

“Why didn’t I stay,” he repeats to himself. Why didn’t I? Why didn’t I? I could’ve chosen to stay and protect them. I could’ve fought for us. I could’ve changed. So why didn’t I..? 

…

“Because I didn’t want to be for you and Taylor, what my mom was, to my dad, and me…” Nicky only realizes what this means as he says it. “Cass, I- I was worried that there was a chance that I couldn’t protect you, that I’d die trying. And then I’d be gone and that’d be it- not that I’m scared of dying, I just- I saw firsthand what a death in the family can do, the rift it creates. I experienced it. What it did to me, and what it did to my dad. That is what made me who I am-“

Part of you, Nicholas’ voice says. Never whole, only part.

“Shut up, I’m talking,” Nicky hisses back, then panics, “oh god, Cass, sorry I didn’t mean you-“

“I know. It’s okay.” Nicky remembers with a wince the time he told her about the voices. “Please, continue.”

“…I’d rather that you have a deadbeat husband who was horrible and who left you than a good one who you miss. And I’d rather that you be angry at me than grieve the loss of a love-“

“But I did grieve over you!” She shouts suddenly, and it breaks Nicky’s heart how upset she sounds. “Every single day I did, for a long long time! Because you were my husband, and Taylor’s father, and I loved you more than anything! And every day I hoped you’d come back! And that’s your problem, you have no sense of your own worth! You think you’re worth more to me dead than alive?! Really? Are you fucking serious?!”

“Cass-“ Nicky can’t hold in the tears anymore, he holds the phone away from his head so she won’t hear him sob, only to pull it back to his ear as soon as he hears any sound from the other end.

“Nicky, I trusted you to come back. And you didn’t. But that’s not even what I’m upset at you for anymore, I’ve had plenty of time to be upset at you for that. The reason I yelled- which I’m sorry for- is because I am frustrated that even after all this time you’re still so focused on your hate for yourself and this whole complex you have about ‘always screwing things up,’ that you can’t pay attention to the things around you that would fix that. You know you can talk to me about anything, and in this case some communication about how you were feeling would’ve really been helpful-“

“But I didn’t know.”

“You would’ve figured it out a lot sooner.”

Nicky goes silent, he can’t argue with that.

“Listen, if you’re going to be a part of this family still, you need to start working on how you think about yourself.”

“What- what?” Nicky’s tail slaps the ground behind him repeatedly in surprise. “But Taylor said-“

“Taylor, well, you know how he is.”

“I kind of still don’t…” Nicky admits, defeated.

“Well, he’s not the kind of person to always say exactly what he means. He’s a little ‘delulu,’ as he likes to say.”

“‘Delulu’..?”

“It just means he’s in his own little world, an anime world. And I’m sure you know animes are..?”

“Very dramatic?”

“Yes. That’s Tay for you. Very dramatic. He gets it from me I think.”

“You’re not that dramatic.”

“Well I’m an actor, so, I certainly can be.” Cass laughs a bit, and Nicky’s glad she’s not there to see him melt at the sound. “My point is, he’ll come around, if you make an effort to change.”

“…And what about you?”

“Why do you think I called, dummy? We wouldn’t be having this conversation if I didn’t love you anymore.”

“Ah…that makes sense…How badly did I freak you out when I showed up at your door that one time?”

“Well I was startled considering you were banging on the window frantically, but if I’m being honest I almost let you in.”

Nicky laughs, “at least I’ve still got some rizz left.”

“It had nothing to do with rizz! I wanted to smack you!” 

They continue talking about this or that, nothing all that important. But it’s thanks to Cassandra jamming her foot into the crack, that the slammed door does not stand completely closed.

[wit4writ]

PJO Episode 2 Detailed Review (Part 1/2)

So, episode two serves as our introduction to Camp Half-Blood and the world of demigods, and it wasn’t…great. I really didn’t want to write this review, hence the delay.

Before you come after me with torches and pitchforks, remember what I wrote about exposition robots? Well, this episode was FULL of them, which interfered with the flow of the story and development of characters. So, time to write a detailed review of episode two! (Which will be split in two parts because it’s so long.)

First up, a recap, which I didn’t have an issue with, so moving on.

Percy is in the infirmary after his big fight and sees a girl watching him. When he asks where he is, she tells him, “You drool when you sleep.”

This is a classic line from the book, but my biggest issue with putting the line here is that it feels very abrupt. Framing it as, “You know you drool when you sleep?” would make it flow easier.

Percy falls back asleep and wakes up again to Grover sitting beside him, and their conversation is fraught with tension as Percy grieves and Grover rambles. Again, this conversation could’ve been tightened up with less words.

Mr. D was great. Perfect casting, but I would’ve liked if we had character clues to Mr. D’s identity and Percy figuring it out instead of Grover telling him who he was. I appreciated Percy being a bit sassy, but I think he could’ve given him more attitude. I also didn’t need the whole “Mr. D pretends to be Percy’s dad” part, that felt a too cruel. My ideal scene would go something like this:

// Percy walks in to see Mr. D dozing.

Percy: “Excuse me?”

No response. Percy tries again, a bit louder.

Percy: “Excuse me? I’m Percy Jackson, I’m new here…Hello? Did you hear me? I said—”

Mr. D interrupts him, sitting up straight.

Mr. D: “Yeah, I heard you, Peter Johnson!”

Percy: “That’s not my name.”

Mr. D: “Well, that’s not my problem.”

Percy: “Hey, I’m just looking for the office, or someone who’s in charge?”

Mr. D scans Percy carefully, a gleam in his eye.

Mr. D: “You want to know where the office is? Well, maybe if you grab me that 1985 Chateau Haut-Brion in the galley I’d be able to remember.”

Percy: “Why can’t you just tell me?”

Mr. D: “You help me, I help you. It’s how the world works, Peter.”

Grover runs in, having overheard that last part.

Grover: “Mr. D, you know you can’t, you—”

Mr. D glares at him and Grover takes a step back and swallows hard.

Grover: “Uh, Percy, this is Mr. D—Mr. D, Percy.”

Mr. D: “Yeah, heard him the first time when he was interrupting a great nap.”

Percy: “Did you though?”

Grover: “Percy! Sir, he didn’t mean it—”

Percy: “Why are you so scared of this guy? Maybe if he could get off his own lazy butt, he’d get more blood to his brain and be able to remember my name.”

Mr. D stares at him darkly, Grover looking frantically between them both.

Mr. D: “Are you mocking me?”

Vines twine around Percy’s ankles, trapping him in place. Mr. D leans forward.

Mr. D: “You know, I could blast you, but if you get me that bottle, I’d be happy to forget this whole thing even happened.”

Mr. Brunner/Chiron (offscreen): “That’s enough.”

He enters the room on his wheelchair.

Percy: “Mr. Brunner?”

Mr. Brunner/Chiron: “Hello Percy. I’m afraid Mr. Brunner is a pseudonym I used while I was at Yancy—please, call me Chiron.”

Percy: “Oh. Okay…”

Chiron: “Mr. D, remember your restrictions.” (to Percy) “Zeus forbid Mr. D from consuming alcohol while he’s here.”

Mr. D: “Apparently, I need to ‘set an example,’ well I don’t think so, Dad!”

Percy: “Dad?” He thinks hard. “You’re Dionysus. The god of wine.”

Mr. D: “Wow, someone give the boy a prize before I blow him up.”

Grover: “Sir, Percy’s just distraught. His mom—”

Chiron: “Yes, I think we can be a little more accommodating, considering…”

Mr. D thinks it over.

Mr. D: “Sure. If he apologizes.” //

Percy then grudgingly apologizes, and Chiron ushers him out, quickly stepping out of his chair to reveal his true form. The last little scene where Grover says something doesn’t feel right is cut, instead he goes with them before Chiron sends him away to give them privacy. I think these changes would improve the flow and serve as characterization for not only Mr. D, but demonstrating his relationship with Grover, Chiron, and Percy.

The camp looked great, but Chiron’s speech over top of the montage served as more exposition. It would’ve worked better for Percy to be asking questions to make this an active conversation which he was a participant in. That’s why I appreciated Percy talking to Chiron about the pen, but I would’ve had Chiron introduce the name of the sword here and cut some of the words during his “magical items don’t obey the laws of the physical world,” bit. I would’ve rewritten a LOT of this whole conversation. I did like how Percy saw through Chiron’s rambling and realized the possibility of being unclaimed.

The Hermes cabin looked cool and Percy finding the blue candy still in his bag was a nice touch.

When Luke approaches, I think he should’ve said something so that it makes Percy’s first reaction to him more logical. Something like:

// In the background: “He’s the guy who killed the Minotaur, I think.”

Luke (offscreen): “We should find out.” (to Percy) “Hey.”

Percy looks over and sees Luke and his friends approaching.

Luke: “You’re the kid who killed the Minotaur, right? Percy something?”

Percy: “Yeah.”

Luke and his friends exchange looks.

Luke: “Wow. You must be pretty tough.”

Percy: “Look, if you want to give me a hard time, do it tomorrow. I can’t do any more today.”

Luke: “Relax, fighter. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Percy: “You didn’t?”

Luke: “Nah. I just wanted to say we heard about what happened on the hill. We’re sorry about your mom.”

The other kids nod.

Luke: “I know things are tough right now, but you’re gonna get through it. Believe me, it gets better.”

Percy: “Thanks.”

Luke extends his hand and Percy shakes it.

Luke: “I’m Luke. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood.” //

Then, I’d have Luke invite Percy to lunch and say something about giving him a tour the next day, to allow for a smoother transition to the next scene.

Unfortunately, now that we’ve been introduced to Luke, we need to…talk about Luke. His actor, I mean.

Firstly, I have no issue with how Luke looks. What I do have an issue with is how his actor is portraying him.

Luke is supposed to be charismatic and confident, a leader and camp counsellor. He’s lived at camp for ages, and everyone acknowledges his amazing swordsmanship, and even if he has failed a quest (though I’m not sure if they’re going with that storyline) he’s seemingly good-natured about it.

I’m not getting any of that from the actor. He comes off as more anxious than confident, someone who’d rather not be in the spotlight. Unfortunately, that impression carried throughout the whole episode, and it was not helped by the fact Luke was mostly an exposition robot to spout facts at Percy.

The darkness transition is now three seconds—still feels a little long, but better than the first episode.

Grover’s scene in the woods I would’ve cut entirely. It was sweet to see him with the dryad (who may or may not have been his mom), but it honestly wasn’t needed. I would’ve had Grover be in the background in the previous scene, maybe watching Percy go to lunch before heading off, then started the next scene with Grover, Mr. D, and Chiron already altogether, and had them vaguely hinting instead of outright saying Percy’s mom was alive, to increase the suspense. Something like:

// Grover: “I don’t understand, why haven’t you told Percy yet?”

Chiron: “The truth can be very dangerous if not handled carefully.”

Grover: “But it’s his mom! He deserves to know!”

Chiron: “Grover, there are powerful forces at work, and we still don’t fully comprehend their motives. If we tell Percy the truth too early, we may lose him.”

Mr. D: “Then you’ll be the worst Protector on record, between Thalia and this kid.”

Grover: “But I don’t want to lie to him. He’s my best friend.”

Mr. D: “Then I suggest you avoid him, because if you say one word of this, one word—I’ll put you on stable cleaning duty for the next year. Understood?” //

So that's the end of Part 1, PART 2 will be linked here. Thoughts, reblogs, and comments are welcome!

[batmanfruitloops]

Hi! Im having trouble with starting my first Batman AU and I love the one you two have so I was wondering if you have and tips or pointers of starting one? Like maybe how to introduce characters and such or how to start the story?

Im sorry if this was long or if its too much, have a great day/night!

I think it really depends on what you want out of it. I use this AU to practice skills for my career, such as writing, character-building, animating, etc. I listen to a lot of videos about every part of film production to help me better understand what to do. Especially things related to character. Even if your AU is just for fun, I think it's still a good idea to do a little research about writing. Observing your favorite movies and films helps a lot! I think animated films are a great teacher of storytelling! Especially Pixar films, since their philosophy is "story is king". Watching movies is just how I personally learn, you may have some other way of learning best so take all this with a grain of salt, I'm no expert I'm just very passionate about storytelling especially through animation (though in this case, it's storyboards/comics since that's what is possible right now).

Your characters are everything. I would suggest developing them as much as possible before you introduce them. They should feel like a real and complex person. They shouldn't feel like a robot that are only made to achieve their motivation. Sometimes simple things like "What are their favorite foods?" can start building them up as a person. They should have flaws, blemishes, strengths, hobbies, everything a living person should have. That way when you introduce them, you will have an easier time showing your audience who they are. First impressions are very important to characters, your audience should be able to understand what kind of person they are right off the bat. I think a good example is Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka. The whole point of his introductory scene is to tell the audience "he is unpredictable and you will never know what to expect from him." Show don't tell is a very important rule to follow, don't tell your audience what to think.

For starting your story, you need to consider when it is. Is it at the beginning, middle, or end? You can put your audience anywhere in the story, so think about the optimal place they should be for the story to make sense. There are many different versions of Batman but they all begin in a different place of Batman's life. Some stories start at the beginning of him becoming Batman like The Dark Knight, and some start at the end of him being Batman like the Arkham series. It's up to you to consider at what point of your character's life the audience should be placed at.

To be honest, it's all up to you. What do you want? How do you want things to be done? This is all just a big case of "learn the rules to break the rules." Maybe you don't even want to learn the rules at all, and that's ok. It's important to remember to make what you want to see. Your art is for you. There is no right way, just some ways are more efficient than others. Let your soul make its messy finger paintings and enjoy the ride. Because more important than anything is the enjoyment of your work and the process. I have a hard time not being a perfectionist over this AU because it's what I want to do with my life. I want to tell stories. I have to keep reminding myself this is for fun, and it's ok if it's not perfect. It just has to be what I want to make. Honestly, I could ramble on and on about storytelling, so I'll save an 8-page essay (which I actually wrote on a similar topic for class). My DMs are open anyway if you want to ask anything else. I hope this was helpful!

I also agree heavily that your characters should feel like people. And along with that, pacing is really important. You don't want your story to feel rushed or lagging at any point. Like Fluffy said, it's always a good idea to reference your favorite materials. It's good to have moments that are just very real, for lack of a better word.

It's also important to understand your setting. The main focus may be the characters, but you want to make sure they feel present, and not just in a void. Establishing shots are really good for that, since it shows off a large area, then allows you to "voom in" and focus on where ever there's action happening. Reference photos are your best friend here. Use as many as you need, it'll only get easier with time. Which leads to another part of settings; if you're in a characters home/base what makes it theirs? Like how the Riddler usually has question marks and scribbles all over the walls, as well as generally being a mess. It gives you an immediate impression of how scatterbrained and paranoid he can be. In comparison, someone like the Penguin presents a clean, luxurious lounge that shows he means business. Whether or not a character is meant to go through a defining change, it's important that they stay true to themselves as a person. If they had trust issues before, they shouldn't trust someone without a reason. Or perhaps someone makes a mistake, that mistake should have consequences. I just think of this because there's a lot of cartoons where something will happen one episode only for it to be treated like it didn't happen in the next episode. Dialogue is also another important factor. Does that feel like something you could actually hear someone saying? Does the grammar make sense? If their natural pauses? This can be broken up from panel to panel, if it's in comic form. Depending, you can give characters different fonts to emphasize that they sound different, although I'm not an expert in that, it's just something I've seen before.

Again, pacing of characters talking (or thinking, etc.) is a must to be aware of. If spoke that aloud, does it feel rushed? Too slow? Are they giving enough context? As the writer, you know everything that's going to happen. Because of that, writing incomplete sentences can happen. That doesn't mean you have to explain everything in simple terms for everyone, just enough for it to make sense and feel real. If you're going for a comic, layout is another factor to consider. Read as many comics are you want. Stare at how it's set out, how everything flows from one panel to another, one page to another. I'm not much good at this one myself yet, so I just suggest looking at your favorite layouts and figuring out what about them you like. A bit of what I've learned is to consider what's happening. What I mean is, if everything is very straight forward, you can do a bunch of box panels, whereas if you're meant to feeling something along with a character, you can go more organic, there doesn't necessarily need to be boundaries in scenes like that, and a mix is generally good for most scenes. A whole establishing shot can be one page and do plenty.

I tend to ramble, and I have a lot of other stuff that I'm passionate about with writing and visual in comics/storytelling, like colors, symbolism, and lighting, and character design so my dms are also open for anyone who'd like is discuss more, :)

Fluffy and Sarsee

[radiojamming]

Asking pretty please for info on your courier if you don't mind!!! Did you go with a specific build or play her a certain way?

Also any backstory you wish to share I will eat that right up, I just love the courier x coop fic you wrote!

YES OH GOSH YES SO

She goes by Lizzie Holliday or Doc Holliday and her tag skills are medicine, science, and speech. I generally play her as a well-meaning but chaotic field doctor who ends up wandering into Plot Situations.

Here's some [chef kiss] art of her by @jara257/@jaradraws for reference:

Some backstory is that her actual name is Adelita Espinosa and she was born in New Mexico. Her father was a traveling doctor and her mother was a scientist studying radiation mitigation in crops and irrigation. Her mother died of radiation poisoning when Lizzie was very young, so she doesn't remember her well. After that, she traveled with her father and learned all of her medical know-how from him.

After Dr. Espinosa died of natural causes, Lizzie moved on to find her place in the Wasteland. Kind of like a gap year. Maaaaybe she wanted to be a doctor? Or a scientist like her mom? But just like a gap year student, she needed an interim job to make ends meet and took the courier job. Cue FNV plot.

So Lizzie doesn't really think she has a head for politickin', but she ends up making decent choices in like a crapshoot way. Or like someone rolling a D20 and rolling very high every time, even when she doesn't want to. New Vegas ends up in her lap, and her whole decision to rule it is just because she thinks everyone else vying for it sucks. In her mind, she's just a placeholder for someone better at bureaucracy who doesn't suck. The only problem is that's, like, everybody. So she's still there.

And fun facts!

She's incredibly pansexual, and after her head wound, she's really leaned into a whole 'life is short, people are hot' lifestyle, except 'people' sometimes includes robots. And light switches.

She collects pencils because she runs out of them all the time.

Her favorite foods are snack cakes, cazador honey, and roasted pinyon nuts.

When she doesn't live in Vegas (which she tries not to), she's either in Goodsprings or wandering around with Raul.

After the events of FNV, she gets two pet nightstalkers named Gertie and Jose.

Her hobbies including playing guitar, sketching, embroidery (to practice her stitching work!), swimming, and practicing her golf swing. She doesn't understand how golf works and she doesn't want to, but there's something very fun about launching golf balls at unsuspecting fiends and Legion boys.

Her favorite weapon is Paciencia.

In her canon route, she's the one who botches Caesar's brain surgery. Whoops. :)

That said, she also canonically talks Lanius out of attacking and does the same to get Vulpes to leave (or does he?).

(She and Vulpes have a Thing. I never said she had a good sense of self-preservation.)

She takes her role as one of The Kings very seriously and has perfected her hip sway and 'uh-huuuuh's.

The most in love she's ever been is with Dr. 8 from Big MT.

Her dream fate is to get ghoulified so she and Raul can hang out forever and maybe she can go visit the REPCONN ghouls in space.

Realistically, she'd also like to live at Nellis with the Boomers until the end of her days. It sounds much more fun to her than ruling New Vegas.

She'd be so into Cooper Howard that it'd make her bonkers. She'd draw little hearts around his name in notebooks.

[culticloset]

Staff-Only Site Details

This is different from stuff I usually post because it's mostly art and stuff but I wanted to point out something that I noticed on the staff-only site.

Me and @robotic-bakery are also working on a compilation of all the transcripts.

So we've all seen this picture, and my first impression of it is that there was black paint all over the place. But then I noticed something in one of the emails.

It says "Please take care of it while it is in your possession, but under no circumstances should it be touched with your bare hands. Please wear gloves. If a substance begins to grow on anything delivered, please place it back in the box it was shipped in and return it to us at your leisure. If you or anyone in your team experience nausea, dizziness, or fatigue, please dont be alarmed."

So this mystery substance has been growing on all the stuff that has been sent, which brings me to the next question- what is it? From the symptoms the email said, it seems to act like black mold.

You can see the substance on the glove from where they touched it. That's that's on the walls, on the ceiling. Not paint. Its the substance from the things on display.

Someone- probably the person we hear from on the site- has been touching and spreading it all over. And from what we can tell, it clearly isn't good for you and it will make you sick. And not only that, but there is a whole lot of it.

So just what is this? And why is it growing on the displays that were sent to them?

Edit: I forgot to put this in but in one of the emails, there's a line written in invisible ink that says something alone the lines of "everything is digusting to touch". The email that I mentioned earlier said not to touch the substance with their bare hands. Is it possible that they took the glove off and touched it with their bare hand?

Another thing worth nothing and it's kinda hard to read is that who ever wrote this is actually the only person who remembers the show, not the whole group. So why is that? And who is the sender? Because they clearly know the show as well. Is it someone who used to work on it? And who is the question answerer?

I suspect this might be the first letter that the person was talking about on the site. I don't really have much evidence for this other than suspicion. After brighting it up from my friend, @robotic-bakery, we learned some details. The letter is anonymous, and it's informing the reader of a welcome home book they found. They exit with a simple "xoxo" which feels almost teasing. What if this was the first letter? The mystery that started it all? The reader recieves this anonymous letter about this children's book. It's called "Welcome Home". It features a character called Wally. The show doesnt seem to be known about at this point. They suggest that there's something more there. They're going to send more letters. And they do. It ends mysteriously, with an xoxo. And maybe hearing about the book unlocked the reader's memory.

I'm really interested to hear other people's thoughts on this.

[cptn-m]

One Piece chapter 1117 Review and Analysis

And so ends the Broadcast Era (any Three Body readers here?) after a long few months. The breaks were certainly not kind to this sequence, but I think it will be remembered fondly. One Piece’s biggest strength is how populated and alive its world feels, and emphasising that all these supporting characters are still relevant and it’s all their lives at stake is going to pay dividends when things get apocalyptic in the endgame.

Anyway, to review the manga instead of the fanbase, it’s sweet to see Neko on the cover page felt comfortable dropping the gun from his stump arm. Even as an apparent yakuza, things are at peace enough that he doesn’t need to be packing. Also the way Yamato’s backpack fits right between their belt loop thingies is a cute detail.

Nice to see Drake still kicking. I’d have been willing to believe he was dead after Wano. I wonder if the broadcast is going to start influencing SWORD to go finally rogue and move all the less-evil Marines into their own, easier to root for faction.

You have to wonder what Stussy’s exit plan is if she isn’t rushing to rejoin the group on the Sunny. Or if she is, no one’s snailed in to tell them hold tight.

The attention to detail with the giants’ ship’s figurehead being tied back on after being cut a couple of chapters ago is great. The giants as a whole give us some really fun, evocative pages this week as they lay into the Marine fleet. And while we’re obviously not getting a full set of one on ones for this arc, Oda gives some solid moments to Bluegrass and Doll, perhaps to set them up to be bigger opponents in the future. I certainly didn’t expect Kashii to take such a big beatdown right in the middle of his triumphant return to the story.

It feels likely that it was trying to reach Luffy at the cost of all else, but then why does it only sometimes react to Gear Five, and why only at the end was it activated enough to start moving?

And how about Mars seemingly recognising the robot? Definitely gives us a hint that the Elders are older than they appear, despite previous evidence suggesting they don’t go all the way back to the Void Century.

There is one reoccurring complaint I do agree with, as this marathon segment wraps up: it’s kinda weird there was no visual content in the broadcast, after the emphasis placed on it with the 10 minute lead time. Maybe we take it as part of Vegapunk’s perfectionism – it just wouldn’t feel right to him if he wasn’t being seen, which would track with an artificial devil fruit not feeling right because of its colour, something on one else would care about – but that’s still a little weak. I’m sure Oda wrote out the whole speech in advance and chunked it out chapter by chapter with the cameos and action beats he wanted to accompany it, and he found he decided the preamble was necessary to get everyone where they needed. The arrival of the Elders wouldn’t have had the focus that made it so great if Vegapunk was already dropping lore bombs. Buuuut I’m sure there could have been a better in-universe justification for it. Maybe just saying he wants people to set up recording devices to preserve and repeat the message could have made it easier to swallow.

I think we can all let out a breath with the broadcast over. While I’m sure there’s still some cooldown to go, especially if the Iron Giant means to retaliate, things seem poised to wrap up here. There are multiple calls to get the ships moving throughout the chapter, from Zoro, Luffy and the giants, with the stragglers close enough to jump aboard as they go. And with Vegapunk dead and the broadcast over there’s nothing left on Egghead I can see the crew getting invested in fighting for. It’s kind of a loss for the Strawhats, not being able to protect everything they promised they would and having to retreat from foes they have no idea how to fight, albeit not as devastating a one as Sabaody. Elbaf could end up being a chance to regroup, power up one last time, and make ready to stop these unstoppable monsters in the true final battle. And setting that up is a very exciting prospect.

[humanoidalien27]

Firstly, to state, I do not support the oppression of any peoples. I believe everyone should live freely and openly the way they are.

Okay, I'm new to this whole thing. The last I wrote a fanfiction it was on Wattpad, but I haven't really done it since.

Anyway, moving on... This is a dark, in-depth sort of fanfiction about a thought up character. I started to wonder about what would happen if the muggle Ominis had to torture was actually the Mc? And then she turns out to be a witch the whole time and...well, let's not ruin it. These stories do contain game spoilers, so please don't read if you don't want it ruined.

This is a first draft. I wrote it on a whim.

Also, content warning: This does contain mentions of torture, death and abandonment.

.....

Chapter 1

The truth

Staring at the side of his face, you noticed his jaw clench.

Sebastian let slip that Ominis's family used Crucio on muggles for sport, something that he obviously didn't want known.

"You-"

"It wasn't like I enjoyed it!" Ominis snapped.

You blinked as your attention drifted toward Sebastian who seemed used to his friend's reaction.

You remembered in perfect clarity the first time you felt the pain of that curse. Apart from red sparks and intense pain, you remembered laughter and cold, dead eyes staring passed you.

Your stomach twisted as a horrible idea popped into your head, making you feel sick at how easily you jumped to the conclusion.

"Where did your family usually do this?"

Both boys looked your way.

The expression on Ominis's face didn't change from neutral as Sebastian glanced between you two.

"They'd travel to the outskirts of London to make it harder for anyone to notice," he answered almost robotic. "They attacked only when they knew they could get away with it."

The more he answered, the more things began to fall into place, the puzzle forming a clearer picture.

You nodded as Sebastian's eyes narrowed. "Why are you asking?"

You could feel your body begin to shake as the memory of that night pressed down, causing a headache.

"Is someone in your family named Gormliath?"

Color drained from both boys faces, telling you all that you needed to know and years worth of guilt and anger instantly coiled into a too tight collar.

"It was nighttime. My muggle parents and I were walking home after getting dinner. There was no warning before I heard two cruel voices yell out that curse and my parents cried out in agony," you started, glaring at the side of Ominis's face as he listened. "I was saved for the younger one. I tried to get to my parents while I begged them to stop. They only laughed and spat at me, called me disgusting as my parents gasped for breath beside me."

A tear escaped Ominis's eye as Sebastian took a step closer, moving between you.

"He was forced to do it! They would have used it on him!"

Anger seething, you sneered meeting Sebastian's eyes, he was taken back by the sheer hatred in your face. The warmth you once had was gone as if that scarred twelve year old possessed your body again.

"How convenient. But see, that wasn't even the funniest part. I'm a pureblood too." The venom in your voice made Ominis flinch. "When I didn't show signs of magical talent at eleven, my pureblood parents decided they couldn't allow me to tarnish their name and I was dropped into the muggle world with nowhere to go and no one to help. I found those muggles who took me in and treated me like their child. I loved them. Even after my father died that night, my mother tried desperately to live without him, did any of you care?"

"You don't know the whole story-"

Ominis sniffled. "It's alright Sebastian. She has every right to be angry."

Sebastian pushed you back a little more when you glared at Ominis.

He didn't get to play hero after all of that. Not him.

"Don't try to pretend you know what this feels like."

"He does," Sebastian shot back. "They used that curse on him when he refused. He hates his family just as much as you do."

You scoff, finding it hard to believe before turning on your heel and heading towards the only place you knew you could be alone, save for Deek.

"I'm sorry," Ominis's voice trails behind you.

Glancing over your shoulder, you spit one last comment his way. "Say that to my muggle father and when he forgives you, I'll think about doing the same."

After a few hours to calm down with the beasts in your vivariums, your mind replying the whole encounter, you picked up the little ticks in Ominis's demeanor you hadn't while blinded in anger.

You never knew anyone who used those curses flinch just because of someone getting angry.

Then there was the tears, trembling chin and white knuckles grip on his wand, nearly threatening to snap the twig in two.

His face was clearer than it had been before. You had seen him shaking as he held his wand up at you. The tears streaking his cheeks, the wobble of his chin.

Groaning you stood up and made your way out of the room, saying a warm goodbye to your animals and Deek.

The castle was dark due to curfew being called sometime during your cool down, but you noticed a figure standing near the window as you entered the common room.

Sighing softly as you felt anger rise up again, your body already moving to head to bed. The heartbroken child didn't want to forgive him, they wanted to scream and rage forever, but your matured mind knew that it would only cause both of you more pain.

So, you forced yourself to stop and look back, deciding on what he did in that moment.

For the first time since you've known him, Ominis's wand was laid out on the table a few feet from him, his back to it.

There was the briefest sniffle that drew your eyes to his shoulders as he wiped at his face with his sleeves.

Slowly, you moved closer, trying to talk your child into backing off long enough to get his side of the story.

When he sensed you getting closer, he fell quiet, not that you couldn't see how red his eyes were or the streaks on his face.

You watched him for a moment, trying to find a voice that didn't sound accusing or livid and decided on whispering to be safe.

"Did you really not have a choice?"

He flinched like he expected you to hit him, causing more emotions to stir as you stared at what you could see of him.

"We always have a choice," he muttered, his voice thick and hoarse like he'd been crying since you left the scriptorium. "I couldn't handle the pain and used it to spare myself it."

Of all the ways you thought this would go, you never expected to hear genuine distain and remorse.

"Have you used it since?"

"No," he snapped before he could stop himself, but softened his voice as he continued. "I still can't get the screams out of my head. I've never regretted anything more."

His arms moved around him as he sniffled. It was like he was trying desperately to hold himself together physically because he couldn't mentally.

Sighing, you picked up his wand and moved to put your back to the window frame opposite him. "Your parents did that often?"

He swallowed so hard, you heard it from a foot away as he nodded. "After that night, I stopped going home. I'd spend my time at the Sallows."

You nod absentmindedly as you examined the wand that hurt you so long ago. It was fragile, one sharp twitch between two hands and it would be useless as you were. But, this wand has also done a lot of good and if he was to be believed, it hasn't casted that curse since.

"I know you won't ever forgive me, but I am truly sorry."

You met his eyes, understanding why they seemed so dead that night and it wasn't even because he was blind, it was because as he hurt you, something in him died.

You finally understood why he was so cold at first, so guarded. He, like you, were betrayed by those who were supposed to protect you.

Despite your best efforts, you felt a kinship building between you. An understanding of the weight of pureblood status and the familial responsibilities placed upon your shoulders, but instead of giving him to the muggle world, they took it out on him.

"I wanted to apologize to all of you for so long for being a coward. For not just taking the curse myself."

What a strange twist of fate our lives have been. Both used for prestige by your parents and casted aside when you couldn't live up to it, now strained friends...could you even call it that? Acquaintanceship, maybe?

Frankly, you had to give him some leeway, you had just allowed Sebastian to curse you and you didn't hate him. Ominis could have easily casted it, but he refused. Proof that he had changed, you guess.

He jumped when you reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling it towards you to place his wand in it. "I'm not saying I'm going to forgive you. I'm saying that I'm willing to try."

His chin trembled again as you closed his fingers around his wand.

"Okay," he whispered, his voice breaking.

His other hand shakily curled around yours, keeping it pressed to his. You could feel him trembling as if it exhausted him to stand, so you carefully led him to the couch.

"My muggle father used to say that everyone capable of great evil, are capable of great good. It's your choice to decide which you do."

You let go of his hands as his eyes flicked closed, shooting new tears down his cheeks.

....

Next Chapter: Here

[toomoonfic]

AO3 Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @dimplesandfierceeyes! I really enjoyed this trip down memory lane.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

So across my main account (jjjat3am, toomoon, boneflower, yvenger) + my hockey account (savedby), I've somehow managed 283 works.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

901 767 words. Getting closer to that million, huh.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ah, tricky question. Right now I'm writing mostly in the Thai BL fandom, if I can label it that way. According to my dashboards, I've written across 59 different fandoms.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. you're not a ghost (I'm not afraid of you) - KinnPorsche, Arm/Tankhun 2. safe (right here in your arms) - KinnPorsche, Arm/Tankhun 3. devil is in the details - KinnPorsche, VegasPete 4. how does a penguin build his house? - Hockey RPF, Crosby/Malkin 5. this life (all I know) - Black Panther, M'Baku/Killmonger

Is it weird that I didn't realize that my KinnPorsche fics had gotten so much traction? But I guess it just proves what a huge fandom that was that a rare pairing got over 2k kudos in the case of ghost.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I feel like communication with your reader is integral to building your community, and that's why I'm grateful to everyone that reaches out to me. I've noticed that I don't do it as much when my mental health takes a nosedive, which is why I still owe people replies from last year. I'm still doing it, but I hope it's not weird that people are getting replies like a year later.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm fairly allergic to angsty endings, so it took me a while of searching to get something that might fit this criteria. I'll go with some things never change, which is an Almost Human fanfic, so that's a definite throwback. It features robot death and I remember I exorcised some demons with it for sure.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pretty much everything else? Just looking at some of the last things I've posted, holding on to patience (like a sunrise) my DBD fic was pretty much a typical Julija happy ending. In general that story is a very typical Julija fic start to finish.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not anymore, thank fuck. I did have a stalker back when I started posting hockey fic, that's why I made a whole other account, but that seems to have died down.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

I've written 12 explicit fics in total, which is just funny when you think about it. The conditions have to really be perfect for me to be able to produce, and when I do, weirdly, it's mostly like, awkward handjobs I guess. I haven't mastered the art of the smut fic yet and likely never will.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

Don't do this to me. There's only one fic I've posted that I'm genuinely embarrassed to speak about and this is it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! It's always a joy.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! Take a Chance on Me was written with @zevons and it's so close to my heart. I've done a bunch of collabs and I love them all, not just for the story but just for the connection with another author.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

This is also a difficult question for someone as disloyal as me...

I think ToddBlack has such a hold on me to this day, and it's still not totally let me go, so I'll go with that, their dynamic is so compelling to me.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

on the bridge between water and clay is never getting another chapter unless I decide that I'm really into Naruto again, which, okay, stranger things have happened I suppose.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm just the funniest person who's ever picked up a pen, personally. Strangely some people don't agree?? Weird.

I don't know, I never have a witty answer to this particular question, so funny is what I default to, because the funny moments in my fics are the ones that always stay most memorable to me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, descriptions for sure. Things like setting and what people are wearing, and the little details that really transport you to the place in a story. I don't really notice details like that in every day life so there's nothing I can base this on to improve myself.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't have many thoughts, I try to generally avoid it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think it must have been Lord of the Rings.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I posted hung from ladders last year and I'd have to say it's my favorite thing that I've written in a very long time. It's a horror fic I suppose, but at its core it's a story about grief and how you deal with it, and I think in so many ways I was more honest in it than I anticipated I would be. I love it for what it represented for me in that moment but I also love that while not that many people read it, I think that it really impacted the people that did and through that I really felt that sense of community that I hadn't really felt in a long time.

I don't really connect with that many people on this website, so I'm not up to date on who writes and who doesn't, but I'm tagging a few people anyway, hopefully this isn't one you've done before:

@tungtung-thanawat, @mightymightygnomepriest @grasspetty @returning-spring

[rowrowronnie]

hi!! I love how you draw scouts sm omg. I was wondering if you had any additional lore on your scoutbot??

also if folks wanted to write about him/the concept would they be allowed to? Like if they did that thing where you go “for (username here)” on the fic. Gifted it to your ao3 and wrote it was your concept in the authors note.

omg it’s been a million years.. scout bot my beloved!!

i actually do have a bit more lore on scoutbot, i was gonna make a comic a long time ago, but eventually scrapped it cause 1) it was too long, and 2) some of the writing’s a little too on the nose lmao. here’s a little snippet from my notes:

so there’s that! i think there was also a bit i wanted to do with spy where he finds out what engie’s done, a whole confrontation between the two, but i honestly can’t remember what i wanted them to say to each other lmao

originally, when i first came up with the idea, scout was just gonna be like a speedy delivery guy in a future au (he had these big wheels on his shoes in his og design when i first sketched him, and those were supposed to act as rollerblades), but i decided to change some stuff around!

the basic stuff is just: engie gets silly and spirals into his religious delusions, killing scout and rebuilding him in his image, making him into “god’s angel.”

the main idea of it all was gonna revolve around scout finding his lost humanity, discovering what it means to be a person again, the beauty of living, etc (i actually have a completely separate robot oc that i based him off of because i Love Love Love the trope of rediscovering humanity and subsequent love for living, lol)

that’s all i can remember? i only really wrote down the comic script stuff!

also omg.. if people want to write about scoutbot i will actually Die that is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for this concept, like actually i Will Die!!!! go ahead!! i give full permission!!!

and i do have an ao3, but i like separating my fic stuff from my fanart stuff (i also wanna keep it private for now!) if folks wanna write anything and still wanna credit, i’m alright with ppl tagging this tumblr!!

i appreciate you asking tons!!! thank you so soso much for this ask, it’s so incredibly kind and nice to see the enthusiasm for the hc and character stuff i’ve made!! 😭😭 again, thank you smm!!!!!!

edit: i just remembered i had one more thing on scoutbot:

yeah! that’s mainly it i think!!