#i wrote this at 2am on my phone as per usual

[mickandmusings]

hell or high water

pairing: tyler owens x f!reader

word count: 3.3k

summary: lazy saturday nights with tyler were few and far between, especially during the spring months, when he and the wranglers found themselves hopping from one midwest city to the next. today the skies were uncharacteristically clear, and tyler wanted nothing more than to spend his night curled up next to his girl.

for the always lovely @fraaaaankiiiiieee , who always supports my delusional ideas <3

warnings: just fluff really, domestic life w/ tyler; situational angst, but no broken hearts in this one <3; some suggestively smutty moments but nothing explicit; inaccurate descriptions of tornadoes (i'm a mississippi girly, we don't even take shelter, we stand on our porches during tornadoes don't blame me); I wrote this at 2am, so forgive any weird inconsistencies or mistakes, thanks

-

The morning had been uncharacteristically quiet, almost eerily calm. Tyler had woken early, per usual, and rose to his feet, earning him a grumble from the girl who slept curled into his chest for warmth. He'd apologize with a cup of coffee later, knowing she wouldn't rise from her death-like sleep for a few more hours at the least.

He'd stumbled down the creaky stairs in only his boxers, starting the coffee machine immediately, and, as it dripped slowly, he used the downtime to stare out the window above his kitchen sink. The weather was perfect-the rising sun shining over the horizon made his view picturesque-almost like a painting in a frame. He enjoyed the view, but he knew the girl upstairs sleeping in his bed would enjoy it more: clear sky days like today meant she had him all to herself. He shook his head to a wasted day, but smiled despite himself. Tyler grabs his phone from where he'd tossed it on the kitchen counter, texting out a quick message to the Wranglers group chat:

'Nothing but clear skies on the radar, so enjoy your day off. Maybe use it to take a decent shower? Maybe wash some clothes? I'm talking to you Boone, you stink.'

The message stirred a frenzy of comments and replies from each of the members of his eclectic group, and he read through them as he sipped his coffee, leaning against the counter. He'd just sent a reaction to a particularly witty remark from Lilly when he felt something grab him from around his waist. He'd been so entranced with his stream of messages that he hadn't heard the pitter-patter of his girlfriend's footsteps down the hardwood stairs, or the yawn that had announced her presence.

"Mornin', beautiful."

Y/N simply gives him an unimpressed, tired grumble in response. She'd clad in one of his old sweatshirts, so well-worn that the neck of it is fraying. Her hair is knotted and messy from her sleep, and her eyes are barely opened. She finds Tyler's greeting ridiculous, but even in her half-dazed state, he finds the sight of her infinitely more breathtaking than the stunning vision mother nature had given him this morning.

Y/N shuffles in closer to him, burying her ice-cold nose into the crook of his neck, and he lets out a sound of discomfort when it hits his bare skin.

"Damn, you're freezin'!"

"Yeah, well, my personal heater likes to get up at the asscrack of dawn, and it's the only time I get to see him these days, so deal with it."

Tyler laughs, bringing his arms around her waist to keep her close.

"Lucky for you, sleeping beauty, the skies are clear for the foreseeable future, so today I'm all yours."

He feels her grin against his skin, and she nuzzles in a little closer. Her groggy morning voice speaks, muffled by her face being pressed against him:

"Then, Ty, my lovely, handsome, smart, sweet man-of-my-dreams...why the hell are we up at six in the goddamn morning?"

Her faux flattery oozes with sarcasm. He shakes his head silently, running a hand through her hair.

"I'll have you know I'm wide awake."

"Well, I'm not, and I never get to sleep in with you anymore. I want to go back to bed, and I want you there to keep me warm, please?"

She'd lifted her face to rest her chin on his chest, her big puppy-like eyes pleading up at him.

"Plus," she starts, bringing her gaze back down to his chest and placing a chaste kiss just below his collarbone. "We haven't had morning sex in like...weeks. Who knows what kind of mood I'll wake up in?"

She gives him a sly smile, and he cuts a knowing eyebrow lift her way. He knows all of her tactics, not that she needs them anyway, he'd never deny her.

"Fine, I'm sold." He lifts her into his arms, her legs around his torso as he carries her up the stairs. She gives him a sweet chuckle, hiding her red-flushed face into the side of his neck, his hands resting across her ass, unabashedly inappropriate.

He tosses himself onto the bed, her frame atop his.

"Promise to wake me up around, 9 or so? I don't want to sleep too much, or else I'll miss out on my whole day with you."

His chest warms as his hand runs through her hair, the other placed precariously on her opposite hip, tracing circles with his thumb.

"I will, cross my heart. Now, sleep, you're gonna need it," his voice deepens almost on command. "Once you're awake, you're all mine, darlin'."

His words drip with sensual flirtation as he places a kiss on the crown of her head. Y/N gives him a grin, her eyes drooping closed.

-

Hours later, after much needed sleep and a rather intense bout of love making, the couple stood exactly where they had just hours before. Tyler stood against the counter, watching as the new pot of coffee brewed. Y/N stood between his arms, her still slighty-sleepy eyes peering out at the sunny day from the kitchen window. Tyler's hand runs through her hair, his other perched on the small of her back, almost dangerously low, but she pays it no mind, too consumed at the pure joy of having him all to herself for the entirety of the day. It seemed silly, but she was rarely afforded this luxury during the spring and summer months.

He pulls away to pour coffee into two mugs on the counter, dousing one in sugar and creamer, the other plain black, the way he liked his. Y/N pays little attention when she reaches for a mug, and he goes to stop her, but the liquid reaches her taste buds before he can reach out for the cup in her hands. Her face wrinkles in disgust as she reaches for the other mug and swallows a sip.

"Jesus, that's vile, Ty. You're drinking straight lighter fluid."

"At least I'm drinkin' coffee, sweetheart. Yours is ten percent coffee, ninety percent other sugary shit."

She rolls her eyes and downs another sip, exhaling at the caffeine now starting to course through her system. She leans her head on his bicep, not wanting to be far from his touch. The pair relishes in the quiet morning, only the sounds of the morning birds and the occasional passerby car filling the air. The moment is so delicately peaceful that Y/N feels her eyes drift back into a hazy state, only awoken by Tyler's voice cutting off her brush with relaxation.

"There's no food in his house, wanted to make eggs this mornin', there isn't any. We don't have any bread, milk's gone bad. Think we finished off the last of the coffee, and you're almost out of that fancy creamer you like."

Y/N's mind instantly thinks of the nearly empty toothpaste tube she'd squeezed out the night before, and the lack of her favorite snacks in his cabinet.

"You up for a grocery run this early?"

He shrugs, giving an unbothered look.

"Get it over with early, don't have to worry about it for the rest of the day."

She nods, leaning back against him.

"Smart," she pauses, letting out a sigh. "Guess I should probably get dressed if that's the case."

Tyler looks down at the girl in his arms, clad in one of his shirts and nothing else. Desire swarms in his gut, and he found the desperate words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"Or we could just order them online, pick them up later? We could order dinner from that place on the boulevard you love, get it all done in one trip? I'll go in, you stay in the truck, no getting dressed necessary."

She drops her now empty mug into the sink, wrapping her arms around his neck, brushing her hand across the hair on the nape of his neck. She leans in, pulling him into a rather heated kiss, one that leaves them both panting. She can taste the traces of his own black coffee, and she smiled against his lips before pulling away.

"You get hotter and hotter every time you open your mouth this morning. You've almost got me convinced just to go back to bed with you and ignore all of my other responsibilities..."

He gives her a smirk, shrugging and lifting a brow as his calloused hand sneaks under her his shirt, caressing the bare skin dangerously close to her chest.

"What'll it take to convince you completely?"

She cocks her head to the side, as if she was thinking.

"Hm, remember that thing you did on our third date?"

She doesn't even get a response before his lips are back on hers, his hand tapping her thigh, silently signaling her to wrap her legs around his waist. His half-finished coffee was forgotten, only the sounds of their shared pleasure and Y/N's occasional giggle bouncing off the walls.

-

As night falls, that same relative silence falls over the house. The lights are all out, save for the lamp in the corner of the living room and one of Y/N's scented candles lit on top of the fireplace. A commercial for an insurance company runs quietly in the background, an ad break from the rerun of 'The Notebook' he'd put on for Y/N just an hour ago. Takeout boxes and two empty beer bottles litter the coffee table in front of them, and the sound of light rain falling fills the unclaimed space in the room.

They're both still fresh from the shower they'd shared. His hair is still damp, smelling of Y/N's shampoo, and her skin smelling of his cypress and cedarwood scented body wash. Y/N had stilled within a half hour of placing her head in his lap, his comforting touch in her hair making it physically impossible for her to fight sleep. His hands tugged lightly at her half-dry hair, but his eyes are focused on the window facing his back yard.

Tyler can't help it, he's naturally drawn to the changes in wind speed and precipitation. He notes nothing serious-average wind speeds, steady, even-falling rain, and no hail. He relaxes a bit, watching as Noah and Allie argue on screen. Soon, his own jade eyes felt heavy. He blinks them back open, trying to savor every moment he has with the girl who's managed to make him fall more and more in love with her, even when she does nothing at all.

He manages to stay awake for the rest of the movie, but as the credits roll across the screen, he finds sleep starting to win against him. Just as his hands stop the movement in her hair, a loud blare comes from the once quiet television, startling him awake, his leg jerking in reaction. In turn, it startles the sleeping girl in his lap, her head shifting as she rubs at her bleary eyes.

The three short tones followed by one long tone has him all but springing into action, sitting up straight on the couch, holding the shoulders of the girl still not nearly awake to understand what was happening.

"The National Weather Service has issued a tornado warning for the following counties..."

Tyler had tuned it out, he knew the rest. His eyes darted to the window again, and now, through the rain he could see exactly what he'd feared-a strike of lightning before a rumbling roar of thunder. He watches as the wind blows the flag in his yard, trees blowing furiously in the wind. It was mild now, but Tyler had seen the calm before the storm too many times to take chances. He quickly grabs both of their phones from the table and shoves them into his pockets. Y/N had already plopped back down onto the couch pillow, her eyes closed. He sighs and contemplates waking her up, but as the roaring of wind like a freight train fills his ears, he realizes he doesn't have the time. Instead, he scoops her into his arms-blanket and all-and simply bolts them out the door.

The second he hits the steps of the porch, he's never been more glad he'd moved so quickly. The wind is whipping around him fiercely, and the sound of hail knocking shingles off his roof sends his feet moving faster. The entrance to his storm shelter is in clear view, and he speaks down to the girl in his arms, speaking loudly over the noise of the inclement weather.

"I'm gonna take us to the storm shelter, okay? You're gonna get in first and I'm gonna be right behind you, baby, gotta make sure that door shuts, alright?"

Y/N nods in understanding, despite how her eyes are still laced with sleep. He stands her in front of him on solid ground, slinging open the heavy door with a grunt. He lightly shovels her down the steps, seeing that she's completely in before stepping in himself. It takes his full body force to get it shut, slamming the latch down tightly. He takes a moment to sit on the steps, hearing the pelting of hail and the loud winds before he springs into action again. He moves to switch on the small lights in the tiny room, now getting a good look at the girl sitting just across from him.

She looks incredibly small, curled into her favorite blanket from their couch, his own hoodie she'd claimed as her own peeking through. He worries that she's scared, and his heart pangs as he crosses over to her. Wordlessly, he pulls her into his lap, fishing his own phone out in hopes of firstly, pulling up live updates on the storm, and secondly, contacting the rest of the Wranglers, making sure his chosen family was safe. He gets the broadcast up first, a slew of messages from his friends ensuring him of their safety. He sends them back one confirming both his and Y/N's safety before setting it back down against the wall and the floor.

"Hey, you're okay, I promise," he reassured her, his arm slung around her and resting on her waist. She gives him a small smile, brushing a tuft of hair behind his ear. Chasing had been busy lately, and he hadn't stopped for a trim lately. She wasn't complaining, she liked running her hands through the longer locks.

"I know. I'm not scared, Ty," she gives a small laugh, the look behind her eyes reassuring him she was fine. He pulls her closer to him, placing a kiss against the crown of her head.

"Brave girl."

She shakes her head in disagreement.

"I'm not brave, I'd be scared shitless if you weren't here. But you are, so I know I'm safe. You'd never let anything happen to me, mother nature be damned."

He gives a loud laugh that bounces off the walls of their shelter, making Y/N break out into her own smile. She turns her attention to the map on Tyler's phone.

"So what're they saying?"

He pulls his phone closer, a map of colors and city names she recognizes in front of her. His finger points to their town name.

"There's us," He pauses, moving his finger to a patch of dark pink. Y/N looks at the key on the side, noting that the color indicated an 'extreme' threat. "And that's the path of the tornado happenin' above us right now, most likely."

"So," she pauses, looking up at him. "In your professional Tornado Wrangler opinion, how fucked are we?"

He raises an eyebrow.

"Survival wise? I know we'll be fine, we're perfectly safe. Damage wise? Well, my roof needed replacin' anyways."

"What about the others? Have you heard from them? I imagine Boone is losing it."

Tyler brushes hair out of her face and behind her ear.

"They're all in a safe spot, just heard from them all. Don't worry that pretty head of yours about a thing, let me take care of it."

Another roll of loud winds roar overhead, and both Y/N and Tyler dart their eyes to the ceiling. She tucks her head into Tyler's neck, and his arms pull her tighter into his embrace.

"Okay," she starts, her voice small. "So maybe I'm a little scared...I don't see how you're always out there in all this, it's terrifying, Ty."

He wants to reply back, tell her about the rush of a storm, or the feeling of being right there next to it in the moment, but the storms he chased weren’t like the one happening literal feet above their heads. He remains quiet, his hand moving back to her hair, stroking the strands in a gentle motion, providing comfort for her. She’s quiet for a moment, listening to the howling winds and the shaking of the thunderous movements.

“T-Tyler?” There’s a tremble in her voice, and he notes how she’s starting to shake in his hold. “Can you tell me a story? Talk, just keep me distracted, please. Having a full blown panic attack in this box doesn’t sound fun.”

He continues the comforting touch to her head, pulling her in closer to the side of his neck, his opposite arm around her waist.

“Hey, no, no, none of that, you’re gonna be fine. We’re okay, I got you. A story? Um…”

He thinks for a second, until the perfect idea comes to his mind.

“Alright, got one, gonna tell you your favorite story. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”

His voice takes on a humorous tone, recounting the plot of ‘A New Hope’ from memory. The rumble of his timbre in her ear-paired with him intentionally making up his own scenarios when he forgot plot points-worked effectively in blocking out the deafening noises above. After a handful of minutes, the noise stilled, and Y/N sat with shaking hands as Tyler popped back open the door. He looked around for a moment, making sure the sky was clear before helping her back on solid ground.

Shingles had fallen from his roof, and branches from trees had been strewn across his yard. Just across the clearing, in an empty field, a massive tree had fallen. Tyler grasped her hand tightly as they walked back inside, their power out, but the home unharmed. Once he determined they were completely safe, he wordlessly led them back to his bedroom, tucking Y/N safely under his chin, close to his heart. He didn’t sleep, his brain wide awake in fear that another storm would come and he’d be unprepared. Instead he watched her sleep, watching as her breaths moved in and out, content in knowing she felt safe in his arms.

Tomorrow, they’d venture into town with Boone and Lilly in the back of his truck, Dexter and Dani behind them, all looking out at the disaster that riddled their small community. They’d spend their day passing out food and water, looking for missing pets in rubble, and helping scour collapsed houses for salvageable items for families to hold onto. He’d look on as Y/N helped comfort elderly citizens of their community and laughed with children who had lost their everything, including their innocence. She’d be silent on the way home, and collapse into his arms once they made it through the front door. Her eyes would fill with tears of guilt that she couldn’t do more for every person she'd seen and talked to. He’d hold her just like he was now, hands in her hair and sweet nothings in her ears.

But tonight, he holds her in his arms tightly, thanking mother nature for sparing not only them, but his home too. After his thanks, he issues her a warning: come hell or high water, he’d stop at nothing to protect the girl in his arms-mother nature be damned.

-

taglist:

@fraaaaankiiiiieee

@fanboysfangirl

[joanthangroff]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Thanks for the tag @incorrectcoldflashblog! :)

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I've been writing my own stories since I was like 10 or 11, but when I got on tumblr a few years later I discovered fanfiction :D First in a German forum where I mostly read Harry Potter fanfiction and eventually I tried my own hand – with drabbles (the actual exactly-100-words-kind of drabble, thank you very much) and then oneshots about Draco/Luna – because what else could have made me write than a rarepair? When I got more into the Glee fandom, I also got more used to fic in English and then I tried my hand on that, too (mostly because, again, I was into a rarepair that nobody else wrote about).

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

If we take all the Arrowverse shows as one fandom, it's 10 :)

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

At least for 13 years :D

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

At the moment I read more – because I rarely write at the moment :D But usually I'd say I write more.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I'm much much much better at introspection!! My fics consisted mostly of dialogue when I started writing. And now I spend more time analyzing characters' thoughts and feelings, I think?

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Oh, don't we all have that moment where we text our bio-engineer friend at 2am in the morning and ask "Hey, if a person in Illinois died in the night of December 11 2013 because they were struck by lightning and then got buried in moist soil, how rotten would their body have been after nine months?"

Otherwise I'd say the month I spent researching lacrosse which almost made me start playing the sport was a very wild ride, personally.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

"I love all comments equally!", I say like a father who's asked to name their favourite child. (In truth, I have always loved comments that are written while people read the fic. I used to write them, too, but since I mostly read via phone nowadays it's a hassle.)

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Trans Indian Epic, baby!

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

TIME TRAVEL!!! Do you know how many fic ideas I have that I just can't execute because I keep running in circles whenever I think about the implications of time travel?????? And also anything involved with lots of movement.

10. What is the easiest type?

Chatfics, my beloved <3

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I write per hand most of the time while my mum's watching something on TV that I'm not interested in. Then it gets typed up to Google Docs and from there it finds its way to ao3.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

The Glee/Flash AU of your dreams is resting in my head. And also the Teen Wolf season 5+6 rewrite where Mason can see Auras.

13. What made you choose your username?

It was my tumblr URL at the time and is a relict of my Marauders phase. pettigrace = pettigrew + ace. Do not mention Peter Pettigrew to me unless you want to be exposed to a rant that would make me look like a Rat Apologist. (On that note: FUCK JKR!!!!!)

I am tagging @lalalenii @pikechris @sophiainspace @frosty-the-killer-doll and I cannot think of a fifth writer rn.

[soysaucevictim]

Last week of current stuff...

-

July 25

I woke up around noon, today.

After a bit of time browsing stuff, I worked on today’s Hello Fresh meal. Italian Sunday supper (I know it wasn’t Sunday, but whatever.) This was one of the more expensive Taste Tours kits - and I legitimately enjoyed it a lot! (Despite my appetite.)

First, today’s DD. 80 side leg raises with EC (40/40). Pretty breezy work.

Second, Day 25 of the 1′CC. 1′ lunge step-ups. One go, 30 reps. ROM demanded still limits just how fast I can execute this. Not a huge fave, but very doable.

Last, Day 24 of the XTP. Leg / tendon strength / active rest day. 3x100 side leg raises, 30″ rest. Breezy, and amused that it lined up with the DD, like that. :,D

Spent time on the usual... before deciding to start a draw stream at like 2AM. Finished another art project - despite it not being a fantastic decision to work this late. :,D

Technically only got to bed a bit after dawn. Woops.

-

July 26

I woke up about noonish- wanting to sleep a bit more. But heat + a brief power outage kinda pressed me to stay awake.

When power came back on and some browsing, I went for today’s exercise early. Despite being p damn tired. :P

First, today’s DD. 50 shoulder taps with EC. Fairly breezy work.

Second, Day 26 of the 1′CC. 1′ single leg hops with EC. One go, 30″/30″ and 124 reps. I’m pleased I could manage 2/sec. It was a bit of a challenge to maintain that, too!

Last, Day 25 of the XTP. Arm work. This sequence is a bit less capable of completely noodle-fying my arms (compared to presses, rows, and lateral raises). Very manageable. Numbers:

Alt. bicep curls: 54-48-40-34-30

Tricep extensions: 16-14-12-12-10

Watched The Mask with a friend, chatted a good deal of rest of night chatting and just browsing stuff.

I got to bed in the green zone. Think a bit of sleep debt caught up with me. but I’m okay with that. :P

-

July 27

I woke up before 11AM.

One of the first things I did today was my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 30 crunch kicks with EC. A fun one, a bit uncomfortable at seat though.

Second, Day 27 of the 1′CC. 1′ climber taps. One go, 70 reps. Abs still definitely felt it.

Last, Day 26 of the XTP. Leg day. Got a bit miffed about a phone call interrupting the workout, had to redo a set of lunges*. Anyways, numbers:

Squat into shoulder presses: 16-14-14-12-12

Forward lunges: 50-42-38*-30-28

I then went out for a psych appointment, went alright.

Spent rest of day chatting and reading a couple things (JD@tE & a friend’s work.) Got to bed in the yellow zone, combo of tired and needing to get up early tomorrow was good enough motivation.

-

July 28

I woke up around 8AM, today.

Went to a dental appointment this morning, went alright.

Spent a few hours gaming and watching YouTube before picking up Subway with bro and getting down to my exercises.

First, today’s DD. 40 squat hold side bends with EC. Just about manageable.

Second, Day 28 of the 1′CC. 1′ jumping lunges. Barely in one go, managed 52 reps. Oh man, I do not like jumping lunges. orz

Last, Day 27 of the XTP. Arm stuff. Whopping 4/5 exercises done to fatigue/failure. Numbers:

Alt bicep curls: 60-54-46-40-34

Upright rows: 18-14-10-10-8

Bent over rows: 20-16-14-12-12

Bent over flies (knocked weight down to 1x5 lbs per arm): 10-8-8-6-6

Spent much of day chatting and reading something a friend wrote.

Got to bed too late again... but not obscene by my standards.

-

July 29

I woke up around 10AM.

First thing I did was making some more trip reservations and a bit of my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 2′ side leg raise hold with EC (1′/1′, from floor.) Pretty breezy work. Trying to make the side switch swiftly/smoothly was  probably the only challenging part for me.

(After going to my first Seeking Safety Group since forever, which was nice...)

Second, Day 29 of the 1′CC. 1′ jump squats. One go, 44 reps. I got pretty bushed at the pace I was going. Quads burned something fierce. But I’m glad I could carry on.

Last, Day 28 of the XTP. Leg work, tendon strengthening day. Definitely not calling it active rest at this point. Took a lot of willpower to keep the leg off floor for corresponding halves of the sequence. But I managed to get through it by skin of teeth. (Being fresh off the squat hops certainly didn’t help. Pffft.)

Spent rest of day chatting, starting watching Good Omens with friend, listening to music, and browsing stuff. Got to bed late again.

-

July 30

I woke up after 11AM.

One of the first things I did today was some dishes. And after that, I started on today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 30 push-ups with EC. Manageable, modestly sloppy, but acceptable.

Second, Day 30 of the 1′ Cardio Challenge. 1′ basic burpees. One go, 20 reps (+1 extra to complete another rep/cycle). Saving grace of burpees is the fact it takes a bit of time to execute one rep - but even 20 at that pace did get me pretty winded!

Last, Day 29 of the XTP. Last arm day of the program and my arms are so done. Numbers:

Alt bicep curls: 70-60-50-45-40

Tricep extensions (per side): 18-16-14-14-12

Bilateral tricep extensions: 10-8-6-6-6

Listened to my Discover Weekly music, had a hysterical time chatting with friend, watched another episode of Good Omens with ‘im, and decided to do a quick Janus doodle before turning in (way too late).

-

July 30

Despite needing more sleep, I got up around 8AM, today.

The first thing I addressed was cleaning my ears... feels so much better now. (wonder if that was influencing reduced appetite / food texture issues...)

Watched some YouTube, gamed, and did some dishes before doing today’s exercises.

First, today’s DD. 30 forward bends with EC. Relatively breezy, kinda of a warm-up for my program stuff.

Last, Day 30 of the Xpress Tone Program. Legs / lower body work. Pretty aerobic. Numbers:

Forward lunges: 60-50-40-36-32

Deadlifts: 20-18-16-14-12

Side lunges: 30-24-20-16-14

Goblet squats: 40-36-30-26-24

I then spent time making today’s HF meal. Scallops over truffled mushroom risotto. I liked it alright - but general consensus was that it didn’t exactly knock things out of the park. Additionally, it was pretty involved, so it might not see a reprisal in future.

Wouldn’t mind making something else with scallops or truffle oil, in future though (was given reasonable advice to be a bit conservative on that - given how strong of a flavor/fragrance that had.)

Spent rest of day chatting and planning out my next couple weeks of fitness stuff. Got to bed too late... narrowly overshot my yellow zone this time. But man, I was exhausted.

-

Summary of Experience:

I finished the 1′ Cardio Challenge in July 30. Overall, this was a pretty fun little challenge and a good balance for strength training! I did record my rep counts, so it may be interesting to see if I could squeeze more into the minute in future. I really liked the straight leg bounds, hops on spot, and most of the jacks. Didn’t like the lunging variations and split jacks so much. But, that’s just how it is~

I finished the Xpress Tone Program in July 31. Circuit structure made this interesting and distinct from IRONBORN. But I could dig it! I worked with a max of 2x5lbs per arm (halving it for lateral raises and flies). Many opportunities did this one kick my ass. These were my PBs:

Alt bent over rows (total): 20-16-14-12-12

Alt bicep curls: 70-60-50-46-40

Alt shoulder presses: 30-24-20-20-18

Bent over flies: 10-8-8-6-6

Bent over tricep extensions (per side): 6-5-5-4-4

Bilat. bent over rows:10-8-6-6-6

Bilat. bicep curls: 20-16-12-8-8

Bilat. hammer curls: 26-22-18-14-12

Bilat. tricep extensions: 10-8-6-6-6

Deadlifts: 20-18-16-14-12

Forward lunges (total, alt): 60-50-40-36-32

Goblet squats: 40-36-30-26-24

Hammer curls (total, alt): 22-18-14-10-10

Lateral raises: 14-12-10-8-6

Side lunges: 30-24-20-16-14

Split lunge into shoulder press (total): 14-10-8-6-6

Squat into shoulder press (total): 16-14-14-12-12

Tricep extensions: 18-16-14-14-12

Upright rows: 18-14-10-10-8

I COULD share the spreadsheets, if anyone is interested in seeing them~

[nebulous-wanderings]

Tokyo Trip/Kurenai Enishi October 19-21, 2018

Wow look who procrastinated writing a blog post for this for 2 months (me). I made a mini-post when I got back but I didn’t really explain everything I saw and did in my 48hrs there so I’ll do that here. More pictures and me rambling about Tsukista below~

I only went on this little weekend trip because my friend and I had gotten tickets to see Tsukista’s 6th Stage Kurenai Enishi. I would’ve stayed longer but I wanted to save my vacation days for next year :P Luckily, my friend was able to meet me in Tokyo from the area of Japan she currently lives in and stayed with me for the weekend to watch the show.

I arrived Friday evening and checked into the hostel. It had the best prices for the area and was super clean and easy to check in and out - I would definitely stay there again! After that I met @lavendermintrose at Animate since I wanted to buy a penlight and shop around for a bit. We then made a spontaneous visit to the karaoke place with the Tsukista drink collab~

My other friend arrived at the hostel later that night, and we ate a late-night meal and were up until like 2am drafting fan letters on our phones to write onto stationary the next day.

On Saturday we went to Harajuku for breakfast (see first pic at the top) and scoped out the Tsukipro Harajuku Shop. We had timeslots to enter on Sunday, but we passed by it to take a look at how it was set up. After that we tried to get to the train station as fast as possible in order to get to the theater in time for the merch queue to start but Takeshita Dori was looking like this:

which is sooo much worse than Times Square so we were crawling at a snail’s pace back to the station. After the trainride, we got off in Shinjuku where the theater was and it was a bit complicated to find since Google Maps had us cross through and mall and back outside to find the theater (that’s also connected to a movie theater). The line had only opened up 5mins before we got there but there were already so many people ahead of us:

(the entrance is a little past that white sign board with colored rectangles). The wait didn’t feel too long ince they opened sales a bit earlier than the scheduled time and it moved pretty quickly.

My and my friend’s matching tsukiusas (+ my Sing Together Forever usa). I don’t do itabags so I at least brought these little guys.

The merch form~ They got stricter with the purchase limit for this stage (like one copy of each CD per person). (+ check out that girl's Aoi and Yoru itabag in the background)

The hallway to the merch sale tables/entrance to the theater was lined with Kurenai Enishi posters with art of the nenchuu by Jiku-sensei. They matched the red walls nicely lol.

(My face looks really weird in this pic so I covered it lmao) but I was super excited in line 😂 After buying all of out stuff there was a little over an hour until the show started so we got some food and the food court next door and started writing our letters:

My friend wrote one for Yuusaku and gifted local omiyage from her region. I wrote one for Yuusaku and one for Yuusuke. Technically my friend wrote it for me since my handwriting absolutely sucks and we were pressed for time (I would’ve taken forever to write the kana) but I wrote the whole message and she just copied the Japanese onto paper. I handwrote the English I included at the end and also signed it. I included some gifts I brought with me from NY to give to them as well.

We got to the theater as doors opened and placed our letters and gifts in the boxes then picked up the premium seat bonuses (2 group bromides and a shrine charm in the 3rd pic from the top). The charm was one of six color combos depending on which day it was and luckily for me that day was the Rui/Iku colors! Ours were in the 6th or 7th row off to the right. The stage was very wide and we were right in front of the little side-stage area where the actors come out from.

I won’t spoil the plot but I will say that people cried during one of the more dramatic scenes. I wouldn’t say it’s as sad as Yunemigusa though lol (I saw ver. Red btw). It was really cool seeing the new cast for the first time, and I think they all did a fantastic job!

The Mutsuki-kun higawari had Gaku (Haru’s actor) as some evil guy trying to defeat Kakeru who is trying to become a stronger ninja. At first it was just a pair of sunglasses talking while Gaku did the voiceover from backstage but then he appeared on stage in a white lab coat. It was really funny, but I can’t put my finger on what exactly his character was supposed to be referencing lol. Also random note: there was a reoccurring mushroom joke that I also found really funny lol.

The songs in Kurenai Enishi weren’t my favorite per se (I’m not a huge fan of slow songs) but they matched the mood and tone of the show very well. However, I do love the theme song since it’s catchy and makes me want to chant along with it lol.

Since I watched the Red version with Procellarum as the focus, the dance live was their group songs and solo character songs from the 2nd season of CDs. The background dancers were the Six Gravity counterparts from the same age group. Rui is my fave and Yuusaku was soooo cute performing “Oh… Yes!” Ryoki did a great job as Iku, and his dancing looked so pro I was amazed. I was really bopping to You’s “Manatsu no Summer” and he went into the crowd for fanservice as usual lol. For the entirety of Yoru’s song, I was just staring at Yuusaku’s face cuz he’s so bright and sparkly~ He had a big smile on just like Tani’s Yoru and looked like he was having fun. During Kai’s “Beast Master,” I was on the side Haru was mostly dancing on, and let me just say Gaku went IN on the hip movements and overall risqué dance moves lmao. Can’t wait to see that again on the DVD 😂 Taka had big shoes to fill as Shun, but he was great throughout the play and dance live (sasuga idols) and his Shun voice was even super similar to Tomoyuu’s.

At the end they performed “Tsuki no Uta” with both groups which was a lot of fun. I was debating whether or not to change penlight colors at each verse but it would’ve been too difficult lol. I had them on Rui and Iku for the whole duration of the song, but did all the name-yelling fanchants which was fun to be a part of (this was my first time at a jp live event). At the end when everyone runs back and forth on the stage waving goodbye, I was sitting close enough to the stage to tell who in the crowd they were looking at, and I got waves from Iku (who probably saw me frantic waving my green and brown penlights) and Kai! Kai also did a finger gun shoot to the girl 2 seats away from me (sitting next to my friend) since she had a Kai uchiwa and she was crying tears of joy all after that lol.

The closing message for that performance was from Yuusuke, and I could tell he was a bit nervous trying to get words out but he looked genuinely happy to be up there on stage. (Honestly, stan Akiba Yuusuke, he’s adorable).

After it was over, I wanted to watch it again, it felt so short! But we met up with Lavender for some more Tsukista collab karaoke and talked about the show and fangirled over stuff. I kept getting Shun coasters when buying the collab drinks, but in the end I ended up with a Rui at least so all was well. I need some more Growth fans to karaoke with so we can all harmonize on the songs 😂

On Sunday, we went to the Tsukipro Harajuku Shop, but I’ll include that in a separate posts since I hit picture limit in this one already. Overall, I had a fun time and I’m super glad I was able to fulfill one of my goals which was to watch a Tsukista show live! I landed back home at 8pm on Sunday and thankfully I was able to wake up in time for work the next day (due in part to me sleeping most of the plane ride back). 10/10 would do a weekend trip (or longer) again for a stage play or concert 👍

[lordsicheng]

Little Did He Know

Ha Sungwoon x OC

g: ???

word count: 2.5k

a/n: I suddenly wrote this out of nowhere since 2am and now it’s about to strike 5am oops; this is more of like an oc point of view so yes enjoy i guess? .__.

Little did he know, that he was a man I never thought of more than just a friend. A smile that caught my attention, brighter as how the sun had began to shine over during the warmest of summers. The gentle touch of his fingers that came in contact to my own, handing over the pile of papers I had clumsily dropped in the middle of the campus where students and teachers never minded each other’s businesses. His name that was announced during class, were like music to my ears for whenever I hear so, not realizing that he would be the one who could change my life forever. It was him. It was really him.

Ha Sungwoon.

It would not have been such kismet, our first meeting. He was someone that I did not mind at first, but something about his behavior, such a vivid person who seemed to have no worries, enticed me to him. I possibly may have seen him several times in the past, not putting any attention towards his existence for I never cared. Only at that day have I ever laid eyes suitably towards him, immediately waiting for the right time for my poor, bashful soul to speak to someone who was not within my own league. And yet at that moment that I were only to stare at him from across the room, he slowly began to notice, and I timidly looked away, embarrassed.

-

Tuesday afternoon, a gloomy autumn.

I saw him once again, this time, walking towards me as I sat down on the steps towards the main campus doors. His face that showed his tenseness as he strolled made me doubt that it was I that he needed to talk to, so I faced the other direction to not embarrass myself. He stopped just as he stood right in front of me and flashed a grin, hesitant on speaking first. I slowly raised my head to smile back, looking into his eyes as I gained the courage to do so.

“Hello. May I help you?”

“Are you y/n?”

“Yes I am.”

He introduced himself right after, me pretending to not know his name even though I had caught a view of his journal that had a small printout of his name pasted on the cover in the past. He slowly began to be relaxed, asking me questions for our History class. I answered him with direct and brief sentences, somehow intimidating him a bit as if I had no intention of becoming acquaintance with him at all.

Little did he know, I wanted to be more than acquaintances.

It could be because of my shy nature, speaking only to those I am comfortable with. He was somewhat interested on my opinions towards a topic of debate in our class, but I did not want to discourage him by the fact that I simply, do not care of any debate that has to do with politics and its history. Despite my cold replies, he remained as warm as he can be; understanding, and attentive on my words. I could not help myself from laughing at his own explanation of things, throwing in jokes here and there to not make it too grim. It was the first time a man had ever made me feel this way looking at his eyes that gleamed the moment he witnessed my pink, flushed cheeks that became of amusement to him as well.

Day, after day, after each day, for several weeks, we saw each other often. We spoke more comfortably than before, we have learned so much of each other in between, we began to see each other as friends. He was charming, curious, and patient. We would often wait for each other after all our schedules for the day were over, momentarily asking each other’s days as if it was a usual. During the weekends, we never saw each other. Often texting, barely calling on the phone, as if nothing big is going to happen in the future.

Little did he know, I somehow longed to see him every single day.

-

Wednesday, a balmy winter evening.

It was the first time he ever asked me to go somewhere with him, regardless of the fact that we have had unplanned coffee shop chit chats and park strolls. A friendly hangout? I suppose. But a date? Never crossed my mind. I would never expect him to bring me somewhere fancy, or romantic at the most. But at that moment I turn to see where we were, I began to differ. Bugak Skyway, a beautiful place to be during the night to see a perfect view of Seoul. He only chuckled and asked me to follow him, not hesitating as we both strolled towards one of the better parts of the area. He stopped and stood by a strip of fences, letting out a sigh that misted itself on the cold air. I slowly walked next to him, eyeing the scenery before I slowly turned my head to look at him, smiling because of his admiration of the landscape

“Why are we here?”

“I wanted to see the view of the city with someone special.”

His words began to slowly imprint themselves into my mind. ‘Special’? How does this man see me as ‘someone special’? I could not help but wonder why he said so as I creased my forehead to look back at the view. I heaved a sigh as I turned around, walking towards a tree so I could sit down and just wait until he was finished on his appreciation of the scenery. I looked at him while I was seated, thinking of the possibilities that he may put on a label for us the future, but I did not want to overthink so. He may have just said it without thought from being too immersed on the beauty of the city at night.

We left the area after a short time, laughing as to how we were too quiet to even strike a conversation while looking at the city. We stopped at a convenience store and got ourselves some unhealthy food choices, instant ramen and cold soft drinks. We didn’t even mind the frostiness of the winter that gave us shivers on our skin. As per usual, we talked, and we talked, and kept talking. He began to speak to me as if I was someone he had known for years, comfortably going into topics that usually only close friends had. All of the sudden, he went silent, and so did I. He looked at his now-empty plastic bowl of ramen, fidgeting on the wooden chopsticks with his hand as the other rested on his lap. I looked at him, mind still full of confusion as to what he had told me hours before.

“Am I someone special?”

I blurted out in question all of the sudden, but he could only chuckle and slowly give a smile as he raised his head to look back at me

“Very special.”

My heart suddenly fluttered at his words as I was not able to respond back, even just a chuckle. He looked down in shyness yet again, back to fidgeting with the chopsticks. As he looked away, I took this as a chance to examine his gestures. He never seemed to stop himself from moving a lot, and I have learned that he never usually held back whenever he spoke to me about anything. Was he becoming comfortable? Was he somehow embarrassed as he admitted I was ‘very special’ to him? Was he… confessing to me?

Little did he know, I suddenly wished that he had not.

-

Saturday, a mild spring afternoon.

It was only the second week of spring break, and I decided to focus on myself first. I told him that I was going to be away for the short vacation abroad. He understood this fully, hoping that I would enjoy the trip and make the most of it. In reality, I only stayed home and distanced myself from him, or wherever we usually went in the beginning that reminded me of him. I was down for most of the time, ignoring every message he sent me that went from almost every hour to daily as per respect that I want to not check on social media while I am away as I told him beforehand.

A part of me felt bad for straying away from him all of the sudden. I knew it was something that he might not understand and take by heart, but I could not gather enough courage to tell him that I was afraid. Yes, I’m inexperienced. Yes, I’ve never fallen in love before. Yes, it’s slowly eating me up inside. The hint of regret that I felt was a sign that I made a mistake, and yet, I still do not have the guts to tell him that I cannot let him into my heart. I blame my insensitivity. I blame my ignorance towards love. I blame my carelessness of ever falling for someone when I know I would regret it in the end.

I wanted to run away. Far, far away.

But then it hit me… I’m the one to blame for all of this. He only came to me to befriend me, and yet I overthought many times as if I wanted a label for us. In fact, I did want to be with him. He was lovely, kind, and a very fascinating person. I would have thought that one day, just one day, we could be something more than just friends. He had called me someone special in his life, but what did ‘special’ exactly mean? Was it just an excuse for a level higher than friendship? Was it just somewhat of a word that substituted another that was less appealing? My thoughts have rambled up so much to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore.

My phone suddenly rang as I got in too deep within my thoughts, vibrating over and over as I slowly moved from my seated position to grab it and immediately see a text message from him. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath, slowly opening my eyes as I decided to click the notification of his text that flashed on my phone over and over

“I’m sorry.”

For a second, my heart dropped. Why did he apologize? Has he noticed that I have distanced myself? Was he thinking that I may have not felt the same way to him as he did to me? And yet, what does he really think of me? The questions that have jumbled up in my thoughts began to make me feel lightheaded. I was a mess. I expected too much. I had let him down, and I knew I needed to do something. Despite my ignorance, there was indeed a point where I wanted him, all for myself. I wanted to be with him for when I can. My selfishness ate me up to a point that I suddenly became discouraged.

For little did he know, I considered him my first love.

And my first heartbreak to a relationship that never existed.

-

Friday, a rainy summer morning.

It was the last day of school, and I had finished all my deadlines. I never spoke to Sungwoon ever since that text, still saved in my phone. I admit that I still read it over and over at night before I sleep, still wondering as to why he apologized. But I did not want to be a burden to him and ask him directly, so I just let everything flow to its course. And yet, I somehow already felt free. I felt free from my own fault and my own inhibition. I didn’t feel the need to lock myself up all because of my crippled feelings. I learned that in order to forgive others and be forgiven, I had to forgive myself first.

I walked my way towards the exit of the gates within the campus, not minding who I see around when in fact, they were just strangers. I looked at my phone as my stopped my tracks, seeing a notification of an email that said my application of transfer has been approved. I smiled, raising my head while letting out a sigh of relief as I put my phone back in my pocket. All of the sudden, I saw a familiar figure that stood near me as I slowly walked out of the gate. It was indeed, him. He turned his head and saw me, almost surprised the moment his eyes met mine. I just gave a smile as I stood next to him, making him click his tongue once before smiling back to look at me

“How have you been?”

“Great. And you?”

“Good.”

It was a conversation that felt so awkward that I wished it didn’t start in the first place. But deep down inside, I did miss talking to him. He was someone I considered one of the truest people I’ve ever met, someone who had their own opinion and views towards many things. We only stood next to each other without saying a word as we heard the honking of vehicles and murmurs of people that passed us by. However, that silence was short lived. His phone suddenly rang and he immediately answered it, talking to someone he referred to as ‘baby’, which became suspicious to me. The moment he was done with his phone call, he turned to look at me and sighed, putting his hands in both of his pockets

“I’m sorry.”

“I should be the one who’s sorry, Sungwoon.”

“Are we still friends?”

“I don’t know.”

Our goodbye was bitter, and seeing him leave was as if he had walked out of my own life. And yet, I didn’t feel as if I regretted meeting him in the beginning. I was thankful as to how he made me learn that I am human, and I make mistakes. I learned that I shouldn’t just let my emotions get to me all of the sudden and to not overthink. I learned that I needed to be strong and independent for my sake.

I loved him, I truly did. I just never expressed it in any way because of my indecisiveness. But I know that deep down; he knew I was very much infatuated with him in the beginning.

Was it one-sided?

At one point, it was. From both of us.

He turned his head to look at me one last time, a small curve forming his lips before he were to get inside the bus. I nodded and waved as he went inside, the bus slowly moving away to its destination shortly after. I bit my bottom lip and slowly closed my eyes as a tear slowly fell from one, hoping that he forgave me for distancing myself. For breaking his heart. For clutching the feelings I have kept for too long, which has now slowly withered away.

Because little did he know,

I had already let him go.

[thejourneymaninn]

How I Write Meme

I was tagged by @tearsofwinter, master of Fenders - AUs (and of making you feel the full scope of human emotion in just 1000 words). Thank you! (tearsofwinter’s post)

Is there a snack you like to eat while writing?

No. I try to eliminate distractions when I write…It hardly ever works (hello there, tumblr), but I can assure you if I had food at hand, no writing would get done, ever. I do always have a bottle of water (and/or a cup of tea) nearby, though.

What time of day do you usually write?

I don’t have a set time, but it tends to be between 4pm – 11pm.

Where do you write?

For the most part, on my couch or at my desk, but I’ve also written shorter fics on the bus, and I’ve found that nothing helps with writing sex scenes like being stuck in a waiting room for hours.

How often do you write a new thing?

Depends on how you define “write”…I tend to come up with new ideas at least once a week (and then frantically type 700 words into my phone at 2am), but it usually takes me months before I find the time to turn them into fully-fledged fics (hence my 120 drafts). As for posting, I try to finish at least two fics/chapters per month.  

Do you listen to music while you write?

I usually prefer silence (see: distractions), or something like rain or nature sounds in the background. Sometimes I put on game soundtracks, but anything with lyrics is too distracting. (Although I did have the same sad song on repeat for two hours when I wrote a fic that dealt with death and grief, and another old song for an angst/violence fic, so it would seem it can help on occasion, if it’s an old song I’m really familiar with.)

Paper or laptop?

Both. I used to write exclusively on paper, and I still do when starting a new fic, and for short fics I can finish in one go. Longer fics and chapters of my longfics are mostly written on my laptop - since my writing process is all over the place and I hardly ever write in order, I usually end up with tons of half-finished scenes I jotted down on the back of a bill because I had an idea in the shower (really, what is it with showers?), or snippets of dialogue I emailed myself while waiting for the bus. The only way to make sense of this chaos is to type it all out and then write all the missing parts and transitions.

Do you have a special pre-writing ritual?

If it’s for a longer fic, I reread the parts I’ve already written. Other than that, I just start writing. Or staring at the screen…

What do you do to get into the writing?

For longer fics or chapters, I’ve usually done so much daydreaming I already know where I want the story to go so I just start writing (which usually means I start at the part I actually need to write, spend fifteen minutes writing, deleting and rewriting a single sentence until I decide writing is the worst thing ever and I don’t want to do it. Convinced I’m going to just close the document and return to tumblr, I then skim the parts of my half-finished chapter I should be working on after the part I’m currently struggling with, get stuck on a line of dialogue that needs fixing, fix it, write the other character’s line while I’m at it…and then get into the flow and write 2000 words in an hour. And then I have to go back to the part I actually have to write and spend another 3 hours on 200 words of fillers and transitions.) For shorter one-shots I grab a notebook, try to find a comfortable position on my couch and just write a sentence, really pretty much any sentence that I feel fits the prompt and see where it takes me.

Do you have a reward system for word counts?

No, I’ve never even thought of that… I like the idea, but it probably wouldn’t work…I’d reward myself anyway.

Is there anything else about your writing process your readers don’t know?

I often spend more time editing what I’ve written than I spent writing it, at least for longer fics and chapters of longfics. When the first draft is finished, I print the whole thing for proofreading and usually end up rewriting at least half of it (which then has to be typed again…).

Tagging (only if you want to, of course) @selfmadeelf @andrastesknickerweasel @fallenseraphs @dovabunny @therealmnemo and anyone else who’d like to do this. 

[anneedmonds]

Why I’m Logging Off For Christmas…

Sorry, I know that the internet is full of people boring us with news of their phone detoxes, social media bans and internet usage culls but I’m going to jump on the bandwagon and tell you all with why I’m going completely offline for Christmas. And I can tell you that it’s not because I’m sick of Instagram (bloody love it, not even ashamed to admit I’m probably addicted to it) and it’s not because I’ve lost motivation or become mentally constipated – I have over two dozen posts in my drafts waiting for a final edit – and it’s definitely not because I need some time to reignite my creative spark or whatever other excuses make the rounds at this time of year.

No, the truth of the matter is that we have nine of us here for Christmas dinner, eleven for Boxing Day dinner and a stream of different visitors from the 23rd until New Year’s Day. All of them sleeping over, many arriving with children of varying sizes, who will no doubt be noisy and exhausting. Hopefully all guests will wear pyjamas, because I’m not doing daily linen changes for every room –  a quick spritz of air freshener and a re-tautening of the fitted sheet is about the limits of my upstairs hospitality! I’ll cook and pour drinks until the cows come home but do not ask me to change a duvet cover. It has to be the worst domestic task, surely?

Anyway, I thought that I would throw myself wholeheartedly into the hostessing game which means that I won’t have time for my usual insane work/life juggling. I realised, earlier this month, that I haven’t had a proper holiday for about eight years – yes I took off three weeks after both of the babies were born, but recovering from a C-Section with exploding breasts and crazy hormones isn’t exactly downtime. I’m talking dedicated eat-all-the-Lindt-balls downtime where you’re not drafting blog posts on the inside of the pizza box or trying to re-enact precious/funny/poignant moments so that you can upload them to Instagram Stories.

I mean the sort of downtime that makes you forget that you have a job, that frees your mind from the shackles of ambition and discipline and determination. Because who can keep up that sort of mental exertion for years on end without a break? It’s like doing the Grand Prix five days a week and then analysing your performance on your off days.

So yes, I am going to spend some time practising new recipes and trying to make sense of my AGA cookbooks, which tend to be the most dithery, imprecise cookbooks I’ve ever had the misfortune to read. They say things like, “pop the turkey into the roasting oven for between 2 and 6 hours, depending on how much you’ve got cooking in the other ovens. If you’re drying your boots on the simmering plate then add another twenty minutes per pound of meat – if your AGA also heats your hot water then it’s very important that nobody takes a bath or has a shower for twenty hours before you wish to start cooking Christmas dinner.”

Bloody AGA. I both love it and hate it. Really, as a cooker, it’s ridiculous. Yes you can throw in a quiche or a pizza on a whim and the oven is always on, but the downside of this is that THE OVEN IS ALWAYS ON. Imagine having a washing machine that continuously spun around with a load of sudsy water inside and when you fancied washing something you just opened the door and chucked in the dirty laundry?

“Oh I just love my WASHA,” you’d say to anyone who’d listen. “It’s on all the time! I never need to press one button and take five seconds to put a washing tablet into the drum – it’s just on! All the time!”

“But Betty,” they’d say – if indeed you were called Betty, “isn’t that an awful waste of energy, water and detergent?”

“Probably,” you’d say, “but it generates so much unnecessary heat that you can dry the dog blanket over the top of it!”

I jest. I do like the AGA. It’s like having the world’s biggest radiator sat in the kitchen. So big and hot that it can only be connected from October to April because otherwise the walls begin to melt, like a Dali painting. Good job that there’s an extra module on the side – one with electric ovens and a gas hob, powered by a gas cannister up the garden. But the fact that there has to be an extra cooker that’s – well – a normal cooker… tell me again what the point of the AGA bit is?

Right. I’m off. I was going to film a makeup video, edit it, schedule it, write the blurb to go with it, polish off three blog posts to keep you going over Christmas and then cap it all off with a series of Instagram Stories showing you some last minute gift ideas, but there has to be a moment that you call it quits, doesn’t there? I’m such a workaholic I could genuinely carry on for another evening (last night it was until 2am) and then throughout another day, but the kidlings await (one dressed as a fairy, the other in a policeman’s oufit) and I have to do the Big Shop at Sainsbury’s.

Some Christmas reading, to tide you over:

Firstly, a lovely interview that I did for Space NK detailing my Sunday Routine – the beauty products I use, the TV series I watch and the exact amount of time I spend in the bath before Mr AMR recycles my water! Read it here.

Then a great feature with Red Magazine called My Life In Hair. I shot the photos with the amazing Jane McLeish-Kelsey and wrote about the styles that have shaped my adult hair life. You can read that online here.

Finally, a post I wrote on loofahs; more absorbing than it initially sounds, if only marginally. It went up earlier this week but for some reason didn’t format and was an absolute nightmare to read, so here it is with spacing and actual paragraphs.

Now all there’s left to do is to thank you for your immense support this year in what was a slightly difficult twelve months. If you missed why and would like to catch up then my post on grief is here – it’s not particularly cheery, but probably puts things into perspective if your family are driving you mad over the festive season! I hope that you all have an amazing Christmas and a glorious, enthusiasm-filled New Year – I’m looking forward to more hilarious chats with you all in 2019. I’ll be back in two weeks, raring to go and full of random ideas for blog posts…

The post Why I’m Logging Off For Christmas… appeared first on A Model Recommends.

Why I’m Logging Off For Christmas… was first posted on December 23, 2018 at 7:58 am. ©2018 "A Model Recommends". Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this article in your feed reader, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact me at contact@amodelrecommends.com Why I’m Logging Off For Christmas… published first on https://medium.com/@SkinAlley

[itsyourturnblog]

For all our talk about work-life balance, most of us completely suck at setting boundaries. And that’s a real shame, because boundaries are critical to living up to our full potential.

When we fail to establish tight boundaries, we keep ourselves small. If we say “yes”, when we really should say “no”, it’s because we’re operating from a fear state. The fear of loss, fear of less and fear of never.

The thinking goes, “If I say no…”

I’ll lose that job, that client, that friend, that relationship

I’ll be less respected, less needed, less important

I’ll never find another job, client, friend, relationship

These are the hallmarks of an unhealthy contractive state. And if we stay in such a state, we won’t use our gifts and talents to their full capacity.

We’re playing small.

On the other hand, saying “no” makes us grounded. When we’re clear about what we will and won’t do, we earn the respect of others. And we gain some self-respect as well, which frees us to live our values and fulfill our true purpose, mission and vision for our lives.

And this puts us in an expansive state.

Now we’re playing big.

There are three key boundaries we need to set in our lives:

How we spend our time

Who we allow into our lives

Where we direct our attention

Sounds simple, but it’s not always that easy.

I had a client I’ll call Lisa, who led the Customer Service department of a fast-growing company. Already, there’s ripe opportunity for boundary issues as by its very nature, customer service requires us to put the customer first. And, in Lisa’s case, this service mentality spilled into all areas of her life.

When she first came to me, she wanted to grow a bigger voice for herself around the office. And she wanted her team to get the respect she felt they deserved. Customer Service may not bring revenue in the door, but they certainly keep it from leaving by turning angry customers into happy ones.

As Lisa’s company was growing, so was her team, though perhaps not fast enough. It seemed there was never enough time in the day to answer all the customer issues, hire new employees, set policies, write manuals and train team members. On top of her day-to-day duties, Lisa was booked into back-to-back meetings, leaving her unable to get any of her real work done during the day.

So, rather than rock the boat and say “no” to the meetings, Lisa wrote to-do lists of work she would do at night. She’d go home, make dinner and hang out with her two children, clean up, throw a load of laundry in the washer and then, while her husband watched TV, she would get to work. Usually the work would start at around 10pm. And she’d finish around 2am. Every weekday. Weekends weren’t much better. Lisa was afraid to ask her boss for a weekend staff member to help her out, because she didn’t want her boss, who, was a remarkable and compassionate woman by the way, to know that she couldn’t handle everything on her own.

If you’re detecting a twinge of perfectionism, you’re right. One of the beliefs of the perfectionist is that effort is bad (because it means you’re not naturally talented enough to handle the task at hand with ease). So, Lisa was actually ashamed of how hard she was working.

At the same time, Lisa knew this life was unsustainable. I actually don’t know how she was able to do it for as long as she was. It’s actually very impressive. But her work was suffering. She wasn’t able to think strategically, because she was exhausted. She was living off five hours of sleep per night. When her colleagues started joking about receiving emails from her at 2am, she began setting them so they would send at 9am instead. She didn’t want anyone to know how hard she was working.

The moment she told me that, when she heard herself say that she was hiding her hard work from her colleagues, was the moment a light bulb went on for Lisa.

He department wasn’t respected, because she was too afraid to tell everyone how hard they worked. She said “yes” to each and every meeting, because she worried she’s be seen as uncooperative by her colleagues. She didn’t delegate to her employees, because she didn’t want to put extra pressure on them. She didn’t ask her boss for more resources, because she was raised not to complain and demand things.

So often, the way we set or don’t set boundaries is because of subtle, or not so subtle messages we receive as children. You know the ones — about being a good boy or girl, about not complaining, not demanding and not rocking the boat.

Lisa finally committed to setting boundaries. So, we got to work. And Lisa learned to say “no”.

Boundary 1: How we spend our time

As it was in Lisa’s case, usually, the boundaries that need to be set most urgently are those around how we spend our time. Time to do your best work, time with your partner, family, and friends, time to be creative, go to the gym, make a good dinner, etc. When you say “yes” to someone else by giving them your time, you’re saying “no” to yourself. Treat your time as the most precious thing you own.

When feeling overwhelmed, Amelia, a tech CEO tells her staff that she needs an “introverted day”. She works from home, goes for a walk, and does what’s needed to recharge. And by the next day, she’s ready to tackle the world again.

Tracy and Don, partners and co-founders of a tech startup they run out of their home have made the room where they work (the dining room) off limits in the evenings and on weekends. This prevents them from working around the clock and gives them time to reconnect with themselves and each other.

Boundary 2: Whom we let into our life

The next boundary we need to set is whom we let into our life. And how we let them in.

It’s an unfortunate fact that not everyone in the world is a happy ray of sunshine. There are in fact, quite a few negative people. And they can drain your energy. Think carefully about how often you let them into your life.

For those people who are negative, but who matter to you and you want to keep in your life, it’s all about communication. Tell them how their behaviour is affecting you. Ask for what you need. Teach them how to give it to you.

For those who don’t matter, it’s a little easier. As writer Wes Moore says, “Don’t let people who don’t matter too much, matter too much.”

You don’t actually have to have these people in your life. And if they are in your life because they’re a coworker, or just someone who’s going to be around, you don’t have to let them matter too much.

Boundary 3: Where we direct our attention

The final boundary we all must set is where we direct our attention. Where focus goes, energy flows. Are you going to focus on the negativity of the office gossip today? Or on doing a great job on your latest project?

Included in this are what we read and watch. A lot of the news of the world is upsetting these days. And, we have a device in our pocket (that would be our phones) that has been designed to make us look at it constantly, in search of the tiny dopamine hit our brains get from something new. If you’re finding that news is creating negative emotions for you, consider setting personal boundaries about when you look.

Okay, so you’ve set your healthy boundaries, the next thing you need to do is learn to say “no’.

We believe that saying “no” is risky. My client Lisa certainly did.

But the truth is, when we are clear about what we will and won’t do, we’re on firm ground. And people respect those who are grounded and clear. And, they respect their boundaries. So there’s actually less need to enforce them. And that means, you don’t have to say “no” as often, because your boundaries are being naturally respected anyway.

But if you do find that you have to say “no”, take the advice of TV producer Shonda Rhimes.

She simply says, “I’m sorry, no, I’m not able to do that.”

It’s clear, it’s forthright and it’s really hard to argue with.

Go Shonda!

Your turn:

Think of an area in your life where you’re playing small rather than big.

What’s going on there? What fears are coming into play?

Think of a boundary you could set that would enable you to play big.

What would a tighter boundary look like? How would it function?

What standards will you set for yourself to make the tighter boundary work?

e.g. I want to spend more time on creative pursuits, so I won’t commit to coaching baseball this year.

We Need to Talk About Boundaries was originally published in It's Your Turn on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

by Judy Sims via It's Your Turn - Medium #itsyourturn #altMBA #SethGodin #quotes #inspiration #stories #change #transformation #writers #writing #self #shipping #personaldevelopment #growth #education #marketing #entrepreneurship #leadership #personaldev #wellness #medium #blogging #quoteoftheday #inspirationoftheday