#i wouldn't usually pay full price for it though. although i have been known to snatch a gardein orange chick'n on occasion

[vampyroteuthid]

people are so weird about fake meat omg. the technology has come a long way since tofurkey it's not that bad anymore

[lyndiscealin]

"Neil, if you have something to say, do it. This is ridiculous!"

"So it's ridiculous to want to learn about my people and myself? Should I tell your history students that you condemn being curious?" That actually made Kevin splutter. Good.

In his opinion he really wasn't that obvious. Usually Kevin was delighted to tell him stuff. His roommate wasn't a professor at the local University for nothing. What the fuck made him throw that usual behaviour out of the window and let him be so suspicious instead?

Gladly, Neil didn't need to think more about that, because Kevin straightened his back and began to talk: "Of course a bond with an unknowing person has to be treated cautiously. It's not common to bond without knowing the other person."

"But if the compatibility is very strong it can happen. All the old tales are about that phenomenon. It can be a very beautiful or very destructive thing. The human doesn't feel the same as the selkie, so there has to be a lot of wooing usually."

Finally Kevin seemed to be in some kind of flow, so Neil was able to relax and just listen. "Even if the compatibility is that high, it can happen that the human never reciprocates. Or they turn away from the selkie when they learn about their true nature."

"In one of the very dramatic tales, the human even turns against the selkie and hunts them down. Of course in that one the selkie is a woman and the hunter is a man. Even our folklore is full of stereotypes. But that's beside the point."

"The point is, that the selkie has to learn about human mating rituals and they have to be careful. The bond doesn't really help. For our magic it feels like we already live with them. We spent time with them without noticing, bring them gifts, try t be near them."

"But we actually have to take a step back. Of course not always. Some humans are very drawn to us. But that's the exception, not the rule. Most of the times an unknowing human who gives us our coat back doesn't look at us twice."

That was kind of depressing, but exactly what had happened to Neil. So, the bond was the reason he had constantly ended up near his husband. Well, that wasn't so surprising. "What if the human never reciprocates? Can the bond be broken again?"

"Yes, and no. The bond breaks when the human dies. But it can also fade over time. But it can take decades. Distance can help the process along, though. Or going back into the water for a while. Which is probably the same, because deep waters are a long distance away."

Neil scrunched up his face. No, he wouldn't do that. His life here was too important and the water was not an option. Before Kevin would get suspicious about his strong reaction he said: "That's stupid." Because that's what he would usually say.

"It's just feelings. Why should anyone let that chase them away from their home?" Kevin's eyes went soft instantly. Oh boy. Neil did indicate that he saw this as 'home' didn't he? That was his fault.

Kevin would look at him like he was a freshly born baby seal for the rest of the week now. That would mean movie nights. Or roommate dinners. If he was very lucky, Kevin would take him to one of the Exy games at his University.

Well, it was a small price to pay for all that information. Now he only had to decide if he wanted to try and woo his husband or if he wanted to wait this bond out until it faded away. If the bond drove him insane, there was always the option to just kill the human.

The stalker was back. It had been a bit over two months, but he was back. Andrew wasn't sure what to do. Confronting him seemed more trouble than it was worth, but not doing anything might have been worse.

The burden of a decision was taken from him, though, because the stranger got his coffee order and then turned to him like he had known exactly that Andrew was the newest patron in the shop. Although Andrew was very sure that the guy hadn't turned around when he came in.

A very quick look around didn't provide Andrew with any shiny surfaces that could be used as mirrors, either. It was no use, though, the only thing he was able to do now was plant his feet and straighten his spine. He had trained for this. He would not go down without a fight.

But the stranger didn't seem aggressive when he came to a halt infront of him and Andrew was half sure that the pinched expression on his face was supposed to be a smile. Or some other friendly expression. "I'm sorry for-" Andrew's angry huff made him stop mid sentence.

"Don't," he bit out, because at the end of the day, he wouldn't let someone apologize for defending themselves. Andrew was neither an idiot nor a sociopath. He knew fair well that pulling a knife on someone was provocative at best and a threat on that one's life at worst.

The man seemed confused for a second, but quickly composed himself.

"I didn't constantly run into you on purpose. Coffee to make it up to you?"

Andrew looked at one of the two cups in the stranger's hands and wondered who in the world would apologize for accidentally stalking someone by showing how much they actually stalked you. Because that was his usual order and they had only run into each other once in this place.

Was it crazy to take the offering?

For a split second Andrew remembered the incident at the grocery store. It wasn't like his usual flashbacks. It was mssing the panic now, that he was sure he could avoid the situation if it would come to something like that again.

Instead he remembered how the stranger had stopped the second he was out of danger and how he told him he wasn't up to his level in more of a playful way. Andrew remembered how the stranger hadn't touched him and had gone immediately after.

It was the stupidest thing he had ever done, when he took the paper cup. It was irrational and would only lead to this man thinking he had the right to be around him now. But something told Andrew that it was okay.

"I am really not doing it on purpose, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," the stranger said. "So let's make a deal." Andrew perked up, he couldn't hide that and the stranger smiled satisfied. "Everytime I bump into you, I will make it up to you somehow."

Andrew took a sip from his coffee, waiting for the punchline and noticed that it had exactly the right amount of syrup in it. This was starting to get a bit spooky. There was no punchline. No 'and you will spend time with me in exchange'.

No 'and after X coffees you can repay me wink'. Nothing. "And what is my end of the deal?" he asked, because he wouldn't give this stalker a blank check to cash in every way he wanted. Andrew Minyard was not someone who owed people.

"Telling me when to fuck off," the stranger supplied with ease, like it was obvious. "And specifying if that fucking off is meant to be indefinitely or just for that accidental meeting." "That is not an equal exchange," Andrew provided. The stranger cocked his head in surprise.

"You have to deal with me being in your life. Isn't that a high enough price?" "So why not keep your distance in the first place?" Andrew challanged. "Obviously, I can't. And as I said, I don't want you to think I am doing it on purpose. When I proved to you I am not a threat…"

"… you can still tell me to fuck off and then be at ease whenever we cross paths in this city again." Sounded fake… But Andrew shrugged with as much apathy as he was able to gather and said yes. "I will hold you to your promises," he warned, even though he knew nobody would ever not be surprised when he actually did. Worse came to worst, he could still kill that man and be done with all of this.

The next time they bumped into each other was in a park at night. Andrew just came back from a club and was on his way home, when he saw someone jog on the same path. It was good he had spent some excess sexual tension on a stranger in a dingy backroom, because if he hadn't, he might have found his stalker attractive, all sweaty and in running shorts. As it was now, he was just annoyed and alarmed. When the other person noticed him, he perked up, got slower, but before he could aim for Andrew, he told him very clearly 'No'.

He didn't want to deal with the stranger in a park at night and it was a test. He had promised to leave him alone if Andrew told him to, he cashed that promise in now. The stranger didn't even falter, he didn't even nod in acknowledgement.

He just took up speed again and was gone in seconds. Interesting, Andrew's mind supplied unhelpfully and he catched himself looking after his stalker. Hm…

In the next three weeks he got four more coffees, three pastries, some very nice looking colorful seashells he didn't know what to do with, but couldn't just throw away, and a new knife. His stalker was clearly insane, but every time Andrew told him 'no', he left him alone.

It was Aaron's and his monthly dinner, when things went strange.

"What do you think about mythical creatures?" Aaron asked, which made Andrew scowl at him.

"On what level? Historical? Sociological? Philosophical?"

But Aaron only shook his head. "Forget it."

Which was strange. Aaron wasn't the type to back down from a conversation, especially not without Andrew getting mean. He hadn't been mean this time, it had been a serious prompt for clarification.

"Aaron."

His brother poked his food for a few seconds.

"What if they were real?"

Andrew had a habit of discussing zombie apocalypses for fun, but it didn't seem like that was it. This didn't sound like a hypthetical.

"How long haven't you slept?"

It was a fair question, in Andrew's opinion.

Aaron often pushed himself too far and then got weird. Although this was a new level.

"It's not like that."

"Did you take something?"

Was Aaron tripping? Did he see ghosts and unicorns?

The fiery glare he got back wasn't convincing. He knew how Aaron got when he relapsed.

"Of course you would come to that conclusion!" Aaron hissed, keeping his voice down only because they were in a restaurant and he didn't want to cause a scene. That much was obvious.

"To what other conclusion should I come? You are clearly hallucinating."

There was no use to argue with an addict, Andrew knew, but a small part of him did grab for the hope, that Aaron was just overworked and tired.

"I am not! I'm not using again, Andrew! But I met someone and he…" Aaron stopped, froze even, like that would take the words back.

"He," Andrew repeated and Aaron's gaze went dark.

"Don't," he hissed.

Andrew forcibly relaxed his shoulders. As much as he wanted to give Aaron grief for meeting a 'male someone' after all the snide remarks he had given their overly gay cousin Nicky, he wanted nothing more than to be a safe place for Aaron to come out to.

"If you tell me that you met some kind of fairy that magicked you into liking him, I will kill you."

Andrew had never implied that he was good at being a safe space.

Aaron's cheeks went red and it was not the red of anger. Him not being able to meet Andrew's eyes was a heavy indicator for shame. Which also indicated that Aaron might know about Andrew. Well, wasn't that a revelation.

"I would never," Aaron mumbled and they both knew it wasn't true. A few years back, Aaron would have sold his own family if it prevented him from having to admit that he might not be straight.

"Well, what is it, then?"

"It sounds so crazy," Aaron sighed, their meal forgotten.

"Yeah. It does. Spill."

As crazy as it might sound, Andrew would always listen.

"I met someone. At the clinic. A professor. He is one of those insane people who are like… thirty-five and have five different degrees."

No wonder that guy had caught Aaron's attention.

His brother had the most cliché competency kink Andrew had ever seen. No one had to know that Andrew was exactly the same, only in… darker regards than the usual book smarts.

"Okay," Andrew said, to prompt Aaron to continue.

"I don't really know what happened, he just one day looked at me like I had poisened his water, but instead of keeping away from me, he seeked me out every chance he got after that. He was only supposed to be at the clinic for a week."

"But he prolonged his stay and now holds this insane lecture about medical history and plant based healing remedies used all over the world for the next six months."

Andrew just blinked and nodded to indicate he was listening.

"Where does it get insane?"

"We kissed," Aaron blurted, which made Andrew scowl again.

"Which is the insane part?"

"No!" Aaron flinched upon his own volume and looked around him like he was afraid of people looking at him for that faux pas. They didn't. This wasn't some kind of pretentious fancy place.

"No, of course not. It's just… it happened. He brought me lunch to my office and we had talked for weeks already and he was so interesting and… it just happened." Andrew still waited for the mythical creature part, but he would have to wait out Aaron's gay crisis first.

"So you feel attracted to a man. Big deal." Andrew really wasn't good at this. "I know what you are thinking," Aaron answered with bitternes in his voice. "I bet you don't." Because Andrew didn't think anything that could cause those feelings.

"You think it's ironic and immensely funny and I deserve no better." "Aaron," Andrew warned sharply, because honestly, the other option would be to pin his hand to the table with a fork. "What?" Aaron spat back. "You can't tell me you don't! After everything…!"

"I will not sit here and listen to you imply that being gay or bi or whatever is some kind of curse I wished for you to catch." Aaron flinched like Andrew had slapped him. "Sorry." Andrew wasn't interested in any kind of apology, he just wanted Aaron to stop with that bullshit.

"Continue," he said and watched Aaron take a big gulp of his beer. "Well… we met up more often and some day I asked him how he managed to get all his degrees. And… well… he said he had to tell me something and that he was not as young as he looked."

"He told you he was a mythical creature," Andrew concluded. "Yes!" Another glance around for that outburst, but at least Aaron had found some composure again. "Is he insane? I mean I know eccentric poeple. Those kind of people always are a bit strange."

"But he didn't say it like some of those furries. You know, thos people who claim they are animals." It was amazing how Aaron was able to say without any indication but got weird as soon as someone outed themselves as gay. Not that there was anything wrong with either of those.

"He really said it like he meant it. He didn't tell me what creature. He just told me if I still wanted anything to do with him, I knew where to find him and he would explain everything."

Inspired by a twitter post from @tntwme I started writing an accidental marriage proposal Selkie AU on twitter. Here is the tumblr version:

Sometimes change came silent. It creeped up on you until you found yourself one day a different person in a life you would never have imagined. This time wasn't like that. This time change came with a bang.

It was instinctive for Andrew to plant his feet and lower his core so he stood more stable. The person crashing into him bounced off of him like a ball, sprawling on the sidewalk. People around them covered themselves in ignorance and just stepped aside, looking slightly offended

The man in front of Andrew seemed disoriented, grabbing the back of his head and moaning slightly. In his arm he clutched an expensive looking fur coat that didn't match with the rest of his exterior. He didn't look like someone who could afford such an item.

Andrew wasn't a people person, but he knew from experience that if he let the thief run it would bring him much more trouble than if he just took the coat. For a second he doubted his assessment, but then he heard the thundering of feet on concrete.

It was easy to grab the coat. When the man tried to push himself up to hold onto it he just moaned and sank back on the ground, gagging once like he was about to retch. Maybe Andrew hadn't needed to secure the merchandise, but better safe than sorry.

When he looked up, another man stood a few feet away from them, gasping in air, eyes wide and blue like the ocean. "That's mine," he said and Andrew nodded.

The victim of the theft seemed too shocked to come closer himself and Andrew wanted to get this over with, so he bridged the gap between them. The surprisingly silky coat felt warm in Andrew's hands when he held it out.

This man didn't look like much either. He wore a simple button down and jeans. He still looked like a deer caught in headlights when he tentatively took the coat back.

"Thanks," he breathed.

"It's nothing," Andrew answered and before the stranger could get emotional on him, he turned around and left.

tbc

[jediken0bi]

You & I

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Y/N and Spencer enjoy their day off together. Just pure fluff with some suggestive content. Nothing graphic though!

-----

It was a slow Sunday.

Spencer had one of his extremely rare days off which meant that today was dedicated to all the little acts of domestic intimacy that are usually cut short due to his schedule. Not that you would ever hold that against him. He loves his job very much but not once did you feel like you come second with him. The little time he does have to spend with you doing nothing in particular is always used to the fullest.

It always feels like you're stuck in your own little bubble for that time.

Like nothing's really bothering you, both of you too busy to catch up on the physical affections that felt short the week before.

Today was no different, thank god. Spencer might have the day off but his inner clock works as well as ever waking him up at 6am sharp.

Your boyfriend is not necessarily known for his stealth skills. His long limbs usually resulted in him either stumbling, tripping or sometimes even falling on random objects but he manages not to disturb you for another hour. He slowly untangles himself from you to take a quick shower and get an early start on breakfast.

Of course you wouldn't have minded either way. Every hour more with Spencer was a gift you wanted to make use of but you've had a rough day before and he wanted you to be fully relaxed once you start your day together.

When you eventually wake up it's because of the delicious smell of pancakes coming in waves towards you. You're smiling before you even open your eyes.

Today was going to be a good day.

Excited to spend the day with Spencer you don't put much thought into the outfit you're picking before leaving the bedroom to take a shower. You're planning on staying in after all. Lounge wear was definitely on the program!

Roughly 15 minutes later you're all set.

Hair in a messy bun, just like Spencer likes it. You never quite understood what he finds so attractive about a messiness that could resemble a birds nest on certain days.

You had actually asked him once but he only laughed, pulled you closer to him and pressed a small peck to your lips.

--

"You look gorgeous to me. It's cute and gives off a domestic vibe" he said

You laughed out loud at this.

"Penny needs to stop feeding you millennial vocabulary"

He smiled widely and shook his head in agreement.

--

It's been well over 3 weeks since you two last got to enjoy a full day together just cuddling and enjoying the others presence so you don't want to waste another second.

You throw on one of Spencers old hoodies and it ends up reaching your mid thigh. Looking at yourself you just shrug with a smile on your face and leave it at that.

You love how oversized his clothes are on you. It almost feels like a hug from him which has helped you through some of the lonelier nights when Spencer was working on cases across the states.

Not wanting to think about that too much right now you leave the bathroom to help your boyfriend in the kitchen.

Before you see him, you hear him humming some classical tune to himself.

This only widens the smile on your face.

When you finally reach the kitchen you don't think twice before walking up behind Spencer to wrap your arms around his torso.

"Good morning, Spence"

you half whisper into his skin.

Lucky for you, he's decided not to wear a shirt today.

You feel him slightly shiver at your actions which causes you to smile and press another kiss where your forehead was laying just seconds ago.

Spencer turns off the stove to look at you and before you know it you're already wrapped up in his arms. His hands have found their place on your waist and yours are settled neatly on his chest.

He takes in your appearance and looks at you with what you can only describe as awe.

"Good morning, beautiful. How did you sleep? Feel better?"

You smile softly and nod.

Your arms slowly leave his chest to wrap themselves around his neck. You stop at the nape of his neck to play with the little curls that his shower has left him with.

He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against yours.

You press a small kiss to his lips.

"Much better, thank you"

He smiles contentedly at that and nods slightly.

"I'm glad. I missed you and i can't wait to spend all day in your arms"

You smile back at him and press another kiss to his lips. You have a feeling there's going to be a lot more of those today. The thought makes you giddy.

Spencer is rubbing small circles into your sides and you sigh softly.

"I missed you too. Wearing your clothes all the time just isn't the same as having you next to me. I'm glad you're here now"

One of his hands leaves your waist to tuck a lose strain of hair behind your ear. He leans in to press a firm kiss to your forehead.

"Me too. Although seeing you in my clothes never gets old"

He blushes a little and you smile at him with raised eyebrows. He lets out a embarrassed laugh. His hand wraps itself all the way around your waist to pull your body flush against his.

"Baby, you look gorgeous right now. I kind of hate how much my thoughts resemble those of a neanderthal in this moment but that's a price i'm more than willing to pay"

You're sure you turn a lovely shade of red to match Spencer.

The hands that previously caressed the nape of his neck are now buried in his hair. You see him close his eyes and it's making you giggle.

Just like he did seconds before, you use your grip on him to pull him closer.

"Then i guess we're even. How about i keep stealing your clothes and you keep not wearing any. Sound good?"

You kiss down his neck until you reach his collarbone. You bite down for a second before smoothing the skin over with your tongue. He shutters and you giggle into his shoulder.

"Sounds good to me"

His voice is barely more than a whisper and before things can get too heated you take a small step back to focus on breakfast instead.

Much to Spencers dismay.

He whines and tries to pull you closer again.

"Don't stop. I really did miss you a lot"

You wiggle out of his grip, laughing.

"I missed you too but we have all day for that. The acceptable time for breakfast is almost over and i wanna see what you made for me!"

You give him a sickeningly sweet smile and he bites down his lip in order to attempt to keep the smile off his face. He fails miserably.

"Fine, but cuddles afterwards?"

He looks down to avoid turning bright red at the request.

What you had to realize at the beginning of your relationship was that Spencer wasn't used to receiving affections just for the sake of it. No one's ever just held him, stroked his hair or intertwined his fingers with theirs.

At first you thought that's because Spencer wasn't particularly fond of said touches, but it turns no one's ever even offered.

The thought broke your heart. You've made it your mission to shower him in love as often as you could.

And Spencer ended up becoming addicted to your touch. He soaked up every little bit of affection you would give him. Soon it had become a mandatory thing in your household.

"Of course! And we can finally catch up on some reading. I missed having you read to me, Spence"

He hums in agreement and pulls you closer once again. You almost laugh at his attempt to row you into skipping breakfast. You let him have another moment. You know his week has been tough and you'd be lying if you said you didn't want to be in his arms right now.

"I did, too. It's one of those things that get me through the harder days. You've given me something to come home to and i don't think i've ever been happier"

He gives you a small peck and you wrap your arms back around his neck to hug him to your chest.

"I've never been happier either. I love you"

He squeezes you tighter and smiles into your shoulder.

"I love you too. So much"

You sigh happily

[revchainsaw]

Buffy: the Vampire Slayer (1997)

Season 1

Hello and Welcome back my creepy congregation! We will be taking todays service from the Big Screen into your living room for our first Personal Devotional. That's Right! We're reviewing full seasons of television series now and what better way to bring the spirit of the genre film to the idiots lantern that with the 90s Television sensation and all around love letter to the horror genre, Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

The Message

Regardless of how one may feel about Mr. Whedon we can't deny how much we love Buffy Summers and the Kids who live and die in Sunnydale! Season one of Buffy was a spin off/reboot of the earlier film and an attempt by Whedon to course correct the franchise by breathing a little charm and attention into the subject matter.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 1) focuses on Buffy Summers, a not so typical California high school student who, due to the events of the movie, has been relocated to Sunnydale High. Buffy is not just a cute, athletic, teenage girl looking to enjoy the prime of her life, though she is those things, she is also the Slayer, an anointed warrior who has been reincarnated throughout the generations to protect our vulnerable weak human world from the forces of evil; particularly Vampires. Buffy is a sort of supernatural Captain America, that is a peak human being, but instead of Nazi Science she was born with her powers.

Joining Buffy are; High School outcasts Willow and Xander (a nerd and a nice guy respectively), The ridiculously sexy librarian Rupert Giles (her mentor, guardian, high school librarian, and all around precious papa bear), Jenny Calendar (a technopagan computer teacher armed with all the mystery an ignorant 90s boomer could attribute to the internet), Angel (Spoiler: He's a Vampire, but he's a good guy. A hunky, broody, good guy vampire love interest), and her loving but entirely oblivious mother. The Scoobies as they have come to be called aid Buffy in her quest to protect Sunnydale from Dark Forces.

And Speaking of those Dark Forces, they are primarily vampires, led by the Master; an ancient vampire who resembles to some degree Nosferatu and a Bat, a look that Guillermo Del Toro would later perfect in his own series the Strain. The Master seeks to fulfill an ancient prophecy that would open the Hellmouth (a portal to hell, exactly what it sounds like) and free him in order that he and his kind should conquer the world.

The first season is fairly short consisting of the following adventures.

1. Welcome to the Hellmouth - Buffy moves to Sunnydale seeking to leave her Vampire ways behind, but the vampires just won't let her catch a break.

2. The Harvest - Vampire Shenanigans continues. Buffy learns of the Master.

3. Witch - A fellow Cheerleader is possessed by her witchy mom.

4. Teachers Pet - Buffy vs Giant Mantis

5. Never Kill a Boy on the First Date - Buffy vs the Anointed One (Not Really)

6. The Pack - Buffy vs Hyena Possessed High School Bullies

7. Angel - Buffy vs Angel but actually Darla

8. I, Robot ... you, Jane - Buffy vs Internet Demon

9. The Puppet Show - Buffy and Sid the Dummy vs Organ Harvesting Demon

10. Nightmares - Buffy has bad dreams

11. Out of Mind, Out of Sight - Buffy vs Invisible Nerd

12. Prophecy Girl - Buffy vs The Master (also Buffy Dies)

Overall the short season, while not allowing for too much world building, kept the show to a format that allowed very little filler. So although we mostly only get vampires as villains, we don't have enough time to really be bored of it. Some of the shows dynamics and cultural concerns definitely date the series but overall Season 1 of Buffy is definitely not a difficult watch, and can be enjoyed over and over again.

Let's get to the Benediction:

Best Character: Slay Girl, Slay!

As far as season one goes the titular Buffy Summers is the best character. Sarah Michelle Gellar is absolutely charismatic in the lead role and though at times she may seem selfish or reckless it makes perfect sense for the character. The character is allowed to be weak, to be selfish, and to be unlikeable. She avoids the foibles of a Luke Skywalker or a Harry Potter. She joins the ranks of primary protagonists who are not constantly outshined by their supporting cast. I believe when Buffy is sad, I believe when she throws a punch, I believe she struggles with her destiny. The only thing I don't believe is how ditsy she let's on.

Best Actor: Head's Up!

Anthony Stewart Head. Head as Giles is just fantastic. His balance of frustration with Buffy and genuinely parental concern is heartwarming and absolutely makes Giles one of the warmest father figures in television history.

Best Episode: A 'Master'ful Finale

It all builds up to Prophecy Girl and for good reason. Television shows often have mini-finale's at the end of their first seasons because the teams behind the series are not sure they will have a chance to tell more of their story. For that reason you can see just the first season of most television series and feel like you've heard the whole deal. I wish this habit was kept up in other seasons as we wouldn't still be wondering what the hell happened to Joel at the end of the Santa Clarita Diet. Buffy is no exception to this phenomenon and therefor attempted to tie up much of it's narrative in Prophecy Girl. While that often means big bads will be dispatched, I think it's a small price to pay for not winding up in a cliff hanger. Buffy and Giles just shine in this episode, Angel is given a more heroic role, Willow finally values herself as she should and Xander stops being a fucking horrible human being for once. This episode really satisfies in all areas.

Best Villain: Sweet, Sweetheart Killer

It's such a shame that Darla was killed so early on in the franchise. She is such a great presence on the screen that she overshadows all the villains that play alongside her, even the Master. I would have loved to have seen an alternate season where she offs the old coot and assumes the role of big bad much like Spike does in Season 2. Lucky for everyone that Darla is featured throughout the show in flashbacks and I hear she is even resurrected in Angel. Also, for Scott Pilgrim fans I feel like she and Envy Adams are very much sympatico. Maybe if they reboot Buffy all my dreams will come true.

I'd also like to take this time to recommend the song Angels and Darlas by Say Hi! It's pretty good.

Best Monster Design: Internet Troll!

While I can't speak for where the money in Season 1 of Buffy went, I can say that at least some decent cash was spent on both the forms of Moloch the Corruptor from the Episode "I, Robot ... You, Jane". Moloch was pretty wicked looking as a machine toward the end of the episode, he looked like a Mortal Kombat villain, but it's the green scales and ram horns the actor is sporting at the beginning of the episode that really catches the eye. In fact, I'm feeling compelled to hunt down any Moloch the Corruptor merch that may be out there on the internet. It's certainly no mystery why the demon's face is featured prominently in the theme song. It just looks great! Good job to the make up department there.

Most WTF moment: "Pack"s a Punch on Principle

While not the greatest episode in season one "the Pack" is certainly worth the watch if for no other reason than the horror is kicked up when a group of high school students under the influence of a malevolent Hyena God, decide that the School Mascot is not enough to satisfy their bloodlust turn on the principal, and yes, THEY EAT HIM. I remember being completely caught of guard the first time I saw that scene, and it kickstarted the running gag of Sunnydale high principles meeting their demise in horrific ways.

Worst Character: No More Mr. Nice Guy

When I was in college I often felt bad for Xander. The funny guy who just had no luck with women. He was sarcastic but had a big heart, and used a horny gimmick to mask his loneliness, or so I thought. But now I am older, I am wiser, I have known the touch of another human being and I have to say that Xander Harris is a really scummy fellow. I don't remember thinking so poorly and I wonder if the character develops a more nuanced view of women as the show goes on. As it stands there's barely a point in the series that Xander does not view the female cast as objects for him to enjoy or be embittered towards for one reason or another. It's not charming, it's foul. Xander Harris of season one is absolutely a terrorist attack waiting to happen, if Buffy had happened today it would be much more concerning to see someone so embittered, horny, and entitled to womens time and energy as Xander Harris. Dude is one step away from pulling an Elliot Rogers. Calm down buddy and maybe actually listen to a woman and you may find you aren't as much of a 'nice guy' as you think.

Worst Episode(s): If you're not first ...

It's a toss up on this one. Season One of Buffy is actually so short and concise that the 'Monster of the Week' episodes will have to be up for grabs as the worst episode by default, but even they are pretty watchable and don't warrant the vitriol a "worst" dub usually entails. I'd say there is not a worst episode of season one, just some episodes that aren't as good as the rest. In that vain, take your pick from "Witch", "Out of Mind, Out of Sight", or "The Puppet Show". However, I'd be doing a disservice to those episodes not to mention that each one of them takes what could just be a basic Buffy Vs (insert Villain), and does something unique and interesting with the idea. The villain of "Witch" actually turns out to be a has been cheerleader actually possessing the body of her innocent daughter to relive her glory years, The Invisible Girl is actually the victim of social cruelty, her peers disinterest in her manifesting in her condition becoming quite literal and she is picked up by the military in the end, then the Puppet show, well, it's just about the stupidest most absurd thing that could possibly happen and it's completely unafraid of that fact.

Summary:

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Season 1) is not the most groundbreaking TV, but it is absolutely evident why the show was such a phenomenon. Season 1 is particularly rewatchable. It does not demand too much investment or attention, but it will get it from you, especially on a first viewing. It's not afraid to take itself absolutely seriously or to plant it's tongue firmly in it's cheeks. It is to a degree a product of it's time, but in many other aspects feels timeless.

Overall Grade: B